1
00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:03,668
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
2
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:06,271
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
3
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:10,976
- HEY, KIDDO!
4
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GUESS YOU'RE WONDERING
WHAT OLD DAD IS UP TO
5
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WITH THE BIG STEW POT.
6
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,880
- GUESS AGAIN.
7
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:17,016
- DARIA, I WOKE UP
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
8
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:18,383
WITH A HANKERING.
9
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I SUDDENLY REMEMBERED
THE OLD KITCHEN SINK STEW
10
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THEY USED TO SERVE US
AT THE MILITARY ACADEMY.
11
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YOU KNOW
WHY THEY CALLED IT THAT?
12
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- BECAUSE THEY PUT IN EVERYTHING
BUT THE KITCHEN SINK.
13
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- BECAUSE THEY PUT IN EVERYTHING
BUT THE KITCHEN SINK.
14
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:31,797
HMM, LET'S SEE...
15
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SOUP STOCK, PEPPERCORNS,
OREGANO, CHILIES...
16
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,904
[screams]
17
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OH, GOD!
18
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- WHY IS YOUR FATHER--
19
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- DON'T ASK.
20
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- READING SOMETHING?
21
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:46,678
- YES.
22
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,546
- MAY I ASK WHAT IT IS?
23
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,883
- IT'S A BOOK.
FOR SCHOOL.
24
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:53,719
ABOUT HOW FICTION SHOULD DO MORE
THAN JUST ENTERTAIN.
25
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,520
- THAT SOUNDS INTERESTING.
26
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:56,588
- YEAH.
27
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A WRITER WRITING A BOOK
28
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,791
ABOUT HOW WRITERS
SHOULD WRITE BOOKS.
29
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MUST HAVE BEEN A HUGE SELLER.
30
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- [screams]
31
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,096
- WELL...
32
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:07,165
ANYTHING ELSE GOING ON
IN SCHOOL?
33
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,233
- LET'S SEE.
34
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,002
NOBODY TALKED TO ME AGAIN
THIS WEEK,
35
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I WASN'T INVITED TO ANY PARTIES
FOR THE WEEKEND,
36
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,106
AND I THINK I'M GETTING
ONE OF THOSE
37
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:15,707
REALLY PAINFUL COLD SORES.
38
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,643
SO ALL IN ALL,
ANOTHER GREAT WEEK.
39
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- OH, DARIA.
40
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- HELEN! HELEN!
41
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,180
WHAT'S THE NUMBER FOR 911?
42
00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:24,315
- DARIA, DO YOU HAVE TO LOOK
AT EVERYTHING
43
00:01:24,317 --> 00:01:25,918
IN SUCH A NEGATIVE LIGHT?
44
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,319
- COULD YOU POSSIBLY
BE REFERRING
45
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:28,887
TO THE HARSH LIGHT
OF REALITY?
46
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:30,822
- TIFFANY SAYS A COLD FRONT
IS COMING THROUGH.
47
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HAS ANYONE SEEN MY REALLY CUTE
FUZZY PINK SWEATER?
48
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AND IF I CAN'T FIND IT,
CAN I BUY ANOTHER ONE?
49
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THANKS.
50
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- DARIA...
- DON'T BOTHER.
51
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- MY TONGUE!
52
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DEAR GOD, IT'S BLACK!
53
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HELEN!
54
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- BE RIGHT THERE, JAKE.
55
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:48,940
- SO WHAT GARDNER
IS TELLING US
56
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,808
IS THAT THE WRITER OF FICTION
HAS A DUTY
57
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THAT GOES BEYOND
THE MERE TELLING OF A STORY.
58
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:57,115
HIS OR HER JOB IS TO TELL
A STORY IN SUCH A WAY
59
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AS TO LEAVE THE READER...
60
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WHAT, KEVIN?
61
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- SCREAMING FOR MORE
62
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FULL-CONTACT
MARTIAL ARTS EXCITEMENT?
63
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,022
- DARIA?
64
00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,657
- I BELIEVE MR. GARDNER FEELS
65
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IT'S THE WRITER'S DUTY
TO STEER THE READER
66
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,561
TOWARD MORE CONSCIENTIOUS
BEHAVIOR,
67
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:12,030
NO MATTER HOW DULL
THAT MAKES THE STORY.
68
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- [sighs]
VERY GOOD, DARIA.
69
00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:15,600
NOW, KEEPING THAT IN MIND,
70
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:18,036
I WANT YOU EACH TO SELECT A BOOK
FROM THE LIST IN FRONT OF YOU
71
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:20,638
FOR A REPORT
ON ITS MORAL INTENTION.
72
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YES, KEVIN?
73
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,442
- PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GLASS
HOUSES SHOULDN'T THROW STONES.
74
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I GOT ONE, BABE.
75
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I GOT ONE!
76
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- [sobs]
77
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- EXCUSE ME.
78
00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:33,185
- YES, DARIA?
79
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:34,686
- THIS LIST OF BOOKS,
80
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I'VE READ ALL OF THEM.
81
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,422
- OH, NO.
82
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,825
UM, WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK
ANOTHER BOOK TO READ, THEN?
83
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:40,826
- I GUESS.
84
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:41,894
- WAIT!
BRAINSTORM.
85
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INSTEAD OF TRYING
TO READ A STORY
86
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FOR ITS MORAL DIMENSIONS,
87
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:48,800
WHAT IF YOU WROTE A STORY
WITH MORAL DIMENSIONS?
88
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- UM...
89
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- A SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT, DARIA,
JUST FOR YOU.
90
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- I DON'T KNOW.
91
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:55,240
WHO WOULD I WRITE ABOUT?
WHAT WOULD THEY DO?
92
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:56,708
- WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
WRITE A STORY
93
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,844
TAKING PEOPLE YOU KNOW
IN REAL LIFE
94
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,079
AND TURNING THEM
INTO FICTIONAL CHARACTERS?
95
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:04,649
- I WONDER IF ANYONE
WOULD NOTICE A DIFFERENCE.
96
00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,318
- SO HOW'S THE STORY COMING?
97
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,620
OR DOES IT DISTURB YOU
IF I TALK WHILE YOU'RE WRITING?
98
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:11,723
- IT WOULD DISTURB ME IF I WERE
ACTUALLY DOING ANY WRITING.
99
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,124
- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
100
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,427
TAKE PEOPLE YOU KNOW AND HAVE
THEM DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
101
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I'D MAKE THEM CRAWL,
I TELL YOU.
102
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CRAWL!
103
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:18,964
- EASY, TIGER.
104
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:20,298
- WHO ARE YOU GONNA
WRITE ABOUT?
105
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- I HAVEN'T A CLUE.
106
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- HMM...
107
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HOW ABOUT KEVIN AND BRITTANY?
108
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YOU COULD WRITE
A THRILLING ROMANCE
109
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LEADING UP TO THEIR
STORYBOOK WEDDING.
110
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- YOU NEED TO START
WEARING A HAT
111
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WHEN YOU GO OUT IN THE SUN.
112
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- BOY, WOULD I LIKE
TO BE THERE
113
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WHEN THOSE TWO
TIE THE NOOSE.
114
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[Wedding March playing]
115
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:40,218
- AND DO YOU, KEVIN,
TAKE THIS PULCHRITUDINOUS WOMAN
116
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TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE?
117
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- KEVIN!
118
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- I, UH...
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
119
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- I SAID DO YOU, KEVIN,
120
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ASSUME LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY
FOR THIS OVERRIPE SPECIMEN
121
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OF FEMALE-HOOD
STANDING NEXT TO YOU?
122
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THE ONE IN WHITE, SON!
123
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- KEVIN!
124
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,938
KEVIN!
125
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- WELL?
126
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,707
- ANSWER HIM, KEVIE.
127
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- UM...
128
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- KEVIN!
129
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- JANE!
130
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[upbeat acoustic music]
131
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♪ ♪
132
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- AH...
133
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BRITTANY.
134
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PLEASE ACCEPT MY CONDOLENCES
135
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,697
ON THE UNFORTUNATE WAY
THE BIGGEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE
136
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,632
HAS TURNED OUT.
137
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:29,968
- YES!
138
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♪ ♪
139
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- DARIA?
140
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:36,908
DARIA?
141
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:38,076
WHAT ABOUT THEIR WEDDING?
142
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,711
WOULDN'T THAT BE FUNNY
TO WRITE ABOUT?
143
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:40,778
- WHAT?
144
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,214
UH, NO.
145
00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:43,215
I DON'T KNOW.
146
00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:44,650
- OKAY.
147
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:47,318
- I MEAN, IF I WERE GONNA WRITE
ABOUT MATING RITUALS,
148
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,387
I THINK I'D GO BACK
A COUPLE HUNDRED YEARS
149
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,990
WHEN WOMEN EITHER MARRIED
OR SHRIVELED UP AND BLEW AWAY.
150
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:54,125
- INSTEAD OF MARRYING
AND THEN SHRIVELING UP,
151
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,295
LIKE THEY DO NOW?
152
00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,198
- MR. LANE LEFT HIS CARD
YESTERDAY.
153
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,602
MOTHER SAID HE APPEARED
MOST ANXIOUS TO CALL UPON YOU.
154
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:05,336
- I CANNOT IMAGINE WHAT FOR.
155
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:07,271
MR. LANE'S TEMPERAMENT,
OUTLOOK,
156
00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:09,875
INDEED HIS VERY MANNERS
ARE SUCH AS TO AROUSE BEMUSEMENT
157
00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:12,844
RATHER THAN ENDEARMENT
IN THE OBJECT OF HIS ATTENTIONS.
158
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:13,845
- HUH?
159
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:14,846
- HE'S FLAKY.
160
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,648
- FLAKY THOUGH HE MAY BE,
161
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:20,218
ONE DAY, ALL OF DEVONHEAVENSHIRE
WILL BE HIS,
162
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HIS TO SHARE WITH WHOSOEVER
IS LUCKY ENOUGH
163
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,756
TO BECOME LADY LANE.
164
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,358
- DEAR SISTER,
I WOULD HOPE
165
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,126
THAT WHOEVER
DOES BECOME LADY LANE
166
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,161
DOES SO OUT OF REGARD
FOR MR. LANE
167
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,530
AND NOT FOR HIS ESTATE.
168
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,064
- WHAT ABOUT HIS CAR?
169
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,065
- HMM.
170
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,066
- BUT LOOK!
171
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,102
HERE APPROACHES
MR. LANE HIMSELF,
172
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:40,371
ALONG WITH HIS SISTER'S
ADMIRER, MR. MORENO.
173
00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:43,141
- GOOD MORNING,
MISS MORGENDORFFER, MISS QUINN.
174
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,443
I PRAY THE DAY
FINDS YOU WELL.
175
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:46,544
- YEAH.
176
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:48,080
- AND A GOOD MORNING
TO YOU, SIRS.
177
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:50,582
- INDEED, IT PROMISES
TO BE A GLORIOUS MORNING
178
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,750
AND ONE TO GLADDEN
THE STONIEST OF HEARTS.
179
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- YEAH.
180
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,186
- LET US HOPE SO, INDEED,
181
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,288
FOR NOTHING SO RECOMMENDS
THIS WORLD
182
00:05:57,290 --> 00:06:00,258
AS THE PROMISE WITH WHICH
IT OFFERS UP EACH GENTLE DAY.
183
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:03,527
- AND, PRAY,
UPON THIS DEWY MORNING,
184
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:06,865
WHAT ERRAND IS IT
THAT FINDS YOU GUYS ABROAD?
185
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,400
- ERRAND WE HAVE NONE.
186
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,935
BUT WITH ANY LUCK,
WE SHALL HAVE SPORT.
187
00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:13,271
WE AWAIT THE OTHER MEMBERS
OF OUR HUNTING PARTY,
188
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:16,241
AND I BELIEVE
I GLIMPSE THEM NOW.
189
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,642
- GOOD CHEER,
MISS MORGENDORFFER.
190
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:18,643
- GOOD DAY, QUINN.
191
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:19,878
- MY, WHAT MILD WEATHER.
192
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,179
both: GOOD DAY.
193
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,648
- MISS QUINN, MAY I GET YOU
A BRACING SPOT OF TEA?
194
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,350
- DO YOU NEED A POWDER
TO CURE THE VAPORS?
195
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,618
- I'LL TUNE YOUR PIANOFORTE.
196
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:29,121
- OH, QUINN, YOUR SUITORS
ARE SO NUMEROUS
197
00:06:29,123 --> 00:06:31,356
BECAUSE YOU ARE SO FAIR
AND GOOD.
198
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:34,392
- OH, SISTER,
YOUR WIT AND JUDGMENT
199
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:38,163
ASSURE THAT YOU WILL MARRY
NOT ONLY WELL BUT WISELY.
200
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,298
- DID SHE SAY "MARRY"?
201
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,332
- YEAH.
202
00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:46,170
- OH, WELL.
203
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:53,445
- I REALLY SUCK AT THIS.
204
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:02,888
- NO.
NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
205
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:05,089
THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.
206
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:08,927
OH, MY GOD,
WHAT HAS YOUR FATHER DONE NOW?
207
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,495
JAKE!
208
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:12,697
DARIA?
209
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:13,698
- HUH?
210
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:14,866
- IS SOMETHING WRONG?
211
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:15,867
- WRONG?
212
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,068
UH, NO.
213
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,404
I'M THINKING ABOUT AN ASSIGNMENT
I GOT IN SCHOOL.
214
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,872
- ANYTHING I CAN HELP WITH?
215
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,774
- NO.
216
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,142
[sighs]
217
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,410
I'M SUPPOSED TO WRITE A STORY
USING PEOPLE I KNOW
218
00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:27,913
AS FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.
219
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:28,914
- REALLY?
220
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:30,848
THAT SOUNDS FASCINATING.
221
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,183
- NOT SO FAR.
222
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,119
EVERYTHING I WRITE
COMES OUT BAD.
223
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,620
I HAVE NO STORY.
224
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,821
- OH, I'M SURE--
225
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:37,822
[phone rings]
226
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,058
HANG ON A SECOND, DARIA.
227
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,425
HELLO?
228
00:07:41,427 --> 00:07:44,696
NO, THAT'S NOT A COUNTEROFFER.
IT'S AN INSULT.
229
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:48,165
I WILL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW
DURING OFFICE HOURS.
230
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:50,202
GOOD-BYE!
231
00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:53,438
OKAY, NOW, WHAT ARE
THE OTHER STUDENTS WRITING?
232
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,573
- THEY'RE NOT.
233
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,808
THIS IS AN EXTRA ASSIGNMENT
JUST FOR ME.
234
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:57,809
- OH.
235
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,611
- A PUNISHMENT
FOR BEING SMART.
236
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:02,480
- NOW, COME ON, DARIA,
I'M SURE YOU'LL DO A GREAT JOB
237
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,382
IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR MIND TO IT.
238
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,451
- YOU ARE VERY, VERY WRONG.
239
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,785
- SURE, YOU WILL.
240
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,154
ALL YOU--
[phone rings]
241
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,221
YES?
242
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:11,222
TOMORROW!
243
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:14,125
DURING OFFICE HOURS.
244
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,293
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS GET OFF YOUR TOKUS
245
00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:17,328
AND DO IT.
246
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,896
WHEN QUINN HAS A CHALLENGE--
247
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,164
- QUINN?
248
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,233
ALL HER CHALLENGES
INVOLVE COORDINATING HER SHOES
249
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:23,802
WITH THE COLOR
OF HER DATE'S EYES.
250
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,737
- DARIA, WHAT I MEAN IS--
251
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,372
- HOW CAN YOU TALK TO ME
ABOUT QUINN?
252
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:29,241
SHE'LL NEVER HAVE
THIS KIND OF PROBLEM.
253
00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:30,942
IT INVOLVES THINKING.
254
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:33,778
YOU MAKE ME TELL YOU
WHAT'S WRONG, IN BETWEEN CALLS,
255
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,413
AND THEN YOU BRING UP QUINN?
256
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:38,483
DON'T YOU KNOW ME AT ALL?
257
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:40,251
- GOOD ONE, MORGENDORFFER.
258
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,719
[phone rings]
259
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,654
DAMN!
260
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:49,093
[psychedelic rock music]
261
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:53,531
- MAN, WHAT A GOOD DAY
TO JUST KICK BACK AND CHILL.
262
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,666
- YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
263
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:56,868
- CAN'T STOP TO TALK.
264
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,703
A BIG PARTY AT STACY'S
IN FOUR HOURS.
265
00:08:58,705 --> 00:08:59,770
GOT TO DRESS.
266
00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:01,039
- QUINN, DON'T YOU THINK
267
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:04,075
YOU'VE TAKEN THIS
POPULARITY THING TOO FAR?
268
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,076
- HUH?
269
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,712
- THIS WELL-LIKED TEEN CRAP.
270
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:10,081
DON'T YOU HAVE ANY DEPTH AT ALL?
271
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,350
- WHY CAN'T YOU BE
MORE LIKE DARIA?
272
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,252
- OH, HEY, DARIA.
273
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,254
- UM, DO YOU WANT
TO TALK TO QUINN ALONE?
274
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,323
- NO, SWEETIE.
275
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,691
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
276
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,293
WE WERE JUST TELLING HER
HOW WE WISH
277
00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:22,661
SHE'D BE MORE LIKE YOU.
278
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:23,828
- AGAIN.
279
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,763
- WELL, NOT EVERYONE
CAN HAVE THE SAME--
280
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:28,666
- DON'T YOU THINK I WANT
TO BE MORE LIKE DARIA?
281
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,735
DON'T YOU THINK I WOULD
IF I COULD?
282
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:34,172
GOD, MOM AND DAD,
WHY WON'T YOU ACCEPT IT?
283
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,240
I'LL NEVER BE LIKE DARIA.
284
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,042
THAT'S MY CURSE
285
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:39,978
AND MY BURDEN.
286
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,880
I KNOW IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT,
287
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:45,249
BUT LOOK WHAT YOUR PERFECTION
HAS DONE TO ME.
288
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,218
[cries]
289
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:48,920
- SHOULDN'T WE COMFORT HER
OR SOMETHING?
290
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,488
- [laughs]
OH, LET HER GO.
291
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:52,756
- SHE'LL GET OVER IT.
292
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:55,326
- WE SHOULD AT LEAST TELL HER
ABOUT THAT EIGHT-LANE HIGHWAY
293
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,262
THEY BUILT OUTSIDE THE HOUSE
DURING THE NIGHT.
294
00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,597
- HMM, YOU MAY BE RIGHT.
295
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,832
[horns honk and tires screech]
296
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,800
[loud crash]
297
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,568
- THAT CAN'T BE GOOD.
298
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:05,803
[loud crash]
299
00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:07,739
- OW!
300
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,707
GOD!
301
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,844
- ANOTHER MASTERPIECE.
302
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,183
SO IT TURNS OUT THAT MY LIFE
UP TO NOW HAS BEEN A SHAM.
303
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,350
I CAN'T WRITE.
304
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,052
I CAN'T PRODUCE
A SIMPLE STORY.
305
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,320
- WOW, DARIA.
306
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,589
I NEVER FIGURED YOU
FOR A LACK OF IMAGINATION.
307
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,057
- I HAVE IMAGINATION.
308
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,025
I CAN COME UP
WITH ALL SORTS OF IDEAS,
309
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:29,928
BUT NONE OF THEM FEELS TRUE.
310
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:32,030
- WELL, WHAT'S YOUR DEFINITION
OF "TRUE"?
311
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,798
- SOMETHING
THAT SAYS SOMETHING.
312
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,200
- WHAT? ANYTHING?
313
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,401
- NO, SOMETHING.
314
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,702
ABOUT SOMETHING.
315
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:39,003
- LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
316
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,971
YOU'RE TELLING ME
YOU WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING,
317
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:41,972
NOT JUST ANYTHING,
318
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,609
THAT SAYS SOMETHING
ABOUT SOMETHING.
319
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:45,610
- RIGHT.
320
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:46,744
- GEE, WHO'D EVER BELIEVE
321
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:49,547
YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE
COMMUNICATING?
322
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,417
[knock on door]
323
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,119
- WHOM SHALL I SAY IS CALLING?
324
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:57,122
- DARIA, IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
325
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,490
- NO, THANK YOU.
326
00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:00,225
- ARE YOU SURE, SWEETIE?
327
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,060
- I NEED SOME TIME ALONE
328
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,727
TO WORK OUT MY FEELINGS.
329
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:04,729
- DARIA!
330
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:06,297
- OR DO A CROSSWORD.
331
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:07,331
- DARIA...
332
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,566
- GAH, HELEN!
MY STEW!
333
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,000
THE STOVE'S ON FIRE!
334
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,437
- OH, FOR THE LOVE OF...
335
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:15,440
[groovy bass music]
336
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:18,910
♪ ♪
337
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,079
[thunder booming]
338
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,114
- UNHOLY MOTHER,
SISTER OF SATAN,
339
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,383
TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE
IN YOUR FILTHY BREW.
340
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:28,386
SAY WHAT THE MISTS OF TIME
HOLD FOR ME.
341
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,187
- HAVE YOU MY PAYMENT?
342
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,723
THE TENDER LIVER
OF A NEWBORN BABE.
343
00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:34,225
- I, UM, WAS IN A RUSH.
344
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,226
WILL YOU TAKE A CHECK?
345
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:36,527
- A CHECK?
346
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,229
HAVE YOU TWO FORMS OF I.D.?
347
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:41,266
- TELL ME
YOU CAN BRING ME POWER!
348
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:44,969
POWER TO CRUSH MY ENEMIES,
TO TRIUMPH OVER ALL!
349
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:48,172
- YES, I CAN BRING YOU
THIS POWER.
350
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:52,277
BUT WHY SHOULD MEN
GET ALL THE GOOD JOBS?
351
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,712
[thunder booming]
352
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,148
- TELL ME
YOU CAN BRING ME POWER,
353
00:11:57,150 --> 00:12:01,386
POWER TO CRUSH MY ENEMIES,
TO TRIUMPH OVER ALL!
354
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,788
-I CAN'T WAIT
TO TASTE THIS STEW.
355
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:07,692
- FOR I SWEAR BY THE UNHOLY IMP
THAT SPAWNED YOU,
356
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:10,562
I WILL RULE THE LAND.
357
00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,731
- BUT WHAT DO I GET TO RULE?
358
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,298
[thunder booming]
359
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:17,068
- SILENCE, TOOTHLESS HAG.
360
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,104
- YOU DON'T HAVE
TO GET PERSONAL.
361
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:21,105
- UM...
362
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:22,206
- DARIA!
363
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:24,008
HOW'S THE SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT
GOING?
364
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:26,577
- UM, THAT'S WHAT I WANT
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
365
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,946
I'D LIKE NOT TO DO IT.
366
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,013
- OH, NO.
367
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:30,448
WHAT'S THE MATTER, DARIA?
368
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,049
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE
TO WRITE ANYTHING?
369
00:12:32,051 --> 00:12:33,718
- NO, I'VE WRITTEN
A LOT OF STUFF,
370
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,653
BUT IT'S NOT
UP TO MY STANDARDS.
371
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:38,356
AND THAT DISTURBS ME,
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE STANDARDS.
372
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:39,790
- WHAT'S WRONG?
373
00:12:39,792 --> 00:12:42,393
- IT'S THIS IDEA OF USING
PEOPLE I KNOW AS CHARACTERS.
374
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,462
I THINK I MIGHT BE BETTER OFF
WITH A BUNCH OF CHARACTERS
375
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:45,964
I JUST MADE UP.
376
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,532
- BUT THAT'S THE CHALLENGE
OF THE FICTION WRITER, DARIA:
377
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,234
TO TAKE WHAT WE LEARN
IN REAL LIFE
378
00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:52,603
AND TURN IT INTO SOMETHING
THAT'S NOT REALLY REAL
379
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,006
BUT HAS A REAL LIFE
ALL ITS OWN.
380
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:57,408
- WELL, THAT SOUNDS GREAT
IN THEORY,
381
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,909
I THINK,
382
00:12:58,911 --> 00:13:01,179
BUT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT
MY CHARACTERS SHOULD BE DOING.
383
00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:02,981
- OKAY,
THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM.
384
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,615
WE'LL ALTER THE ASSIGNMENT
SLIGHTLY.
385
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,551
SOMETIMES BOUNDARIES
CAN PARADOXICALLY PROVIDE US
386
00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:09,020
WITH FREEDOM.
387
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,522
WE'LL SAY IT SHOULD INCLUDE
AN ACTIVITY OF SOME KIND.
388
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,790
LET'S SEE.
389
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,224
A FOREST FIRE?
390
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:17,127
NO, THAT COULD END
IN TRAGEDY.
391
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,263
SOME KIND
OF ORTHOSCOPIC SURGERY?
392
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:20,831
NO, THAT CAN GET MESSY.
393
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:23,701
I KNOW: A GAME OF CARDS.
394
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:24,969
- A GAME OF CARDS?
395
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,972
- SURE, AND IT CAN BE
ANY CARD GAME YOU WANT.
396
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,107
- GEE, THANKS.
397
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,375
THAT'LL REALLY HELP.
398
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,143
- GLAD TO HEAR IT.
HAVE FUN.
399
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:35,079
[thunder booming]
400
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:38,682
- UNHOLY MOTHER,
SISTER OF SATAN,
401
00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:41,386
TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE
IN YOUR FILTHY BREW.
402
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,555
TELL ME WHAT THE MISTS OF TIME
HOLD FOR ME.
403
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:46,523
- HAVE YOU MY PAYMENT?
404
00:13:46,525 --> 00:13:49,227
THE TENDER LIVER
OF A NEWBORN BABE?
405
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,028
- I'M A LITTLE SHORT
ON LIVERS.
406
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:52,329
TELL YOU WHAT.
407
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,865
PLAY YOU A QUICK GAME
OF FIVE-CARD STUD FOR IT.
408
00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:56,834
- JACKS WILD.
409
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,520
- DARIA?
410
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,456
DARIA, THE TV'S NOT ON.
411
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:19,991
- SHH.
I'M WATCHING THIS.
412
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:23,828
- DARIA, I'M SORRY ABOUT NOT
BEING MORE SENSITIVE EARLIER.
413
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,996
- DOESN'T COMPARING ONE SIBLING
TO ANOTHER
414
00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:28,399
GET YOU AN AUTOMATIC "F"
IN PARENTING 101?
415
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,801
- THERE IS NO PARENTING 101.
416
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:32,569
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
417
00:14:32,571 --> 00:14:34,405
THERE'S NO COURSE
THAT CAN TEACH YOU
418
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:35,807
TO BE A PERFECT MOTHER.
419
00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:37,108
- THAT'S OBVIOUS.
420
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:40,278
- DARIA, I APOLOGIZED
FOR NOT HELPING YOU BEFORE.
421
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,346
I'M OFFERING
TO HELP YOU NOW.
422
00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:45,249
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
423
00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:46,750
- MY STORY SUCKS.
424
00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:49,287
- WELL, HONEY,
I'M SURE IF YOU JUST GIVE IT
425
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,421
ANOTHER DAY OR TWO...
426
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,589
- EVERYTHING I DO
HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE.
427
00:14:52,591 --> 00:14:54,591
I WANTED TO WRITE
SOMETHING MEANINGFUL.
428
00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:56,160
I CAN'T WRITE
ANYTHING AT ALL.
429
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:58,062
- MAYBE YOU'RE TRYING
TOO HARD.
430
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,397
MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE TO WRITE
SOMETHING MEANINGFUL,
431
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,766
JUST SOMETHING HONEST.
432
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:03,134
- I CAN DO HONEST.
433
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,603
I LOOK AROUND ME.
I DESCRIBE WHAT I SEE.
434
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:09,207
- HOW ABOUT DESCRIBING WHAT
YOU'D LIKE TO SEE, HONESTLY?
435
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,508
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
436
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,443
- DARIA, THE EASIEST THING
IN THE WORLD FOR YOU
437
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,145
IS BEING HONEST
ABOUT WHAT YOU OBSERVE.
438
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,646
- AND...
439
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,382
- WHAT'S HARD FOR YOU IS BEING
HONEST ABOUT YOUR WISHES,
440
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:21,752
ABOUT THE WAY YOU THINK THINGS
SHOULD BE, NOT THE WAY THEY ARE.
441
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,155
YOU GLOSS OVER IT
WITH A CYNICAL JOKE,
442
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,291
AND NOBODY FINDS OUT
WHAT YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN.
443
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:27,292
- AHA.
444
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:28,826
SO MY EVIL PLAN IS WORKING.
445
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,728
- IF YOU REALLY WANT
TO BE HONEST,
446
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:33,364
BE TRUTHFUL
ABOUT WHAT YOU'D LIKE TO HAPPEN.
447
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:34,999
THERE'S A CHALLENGE.
448
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:37,234
- WHEN THE HELL DID YOU LEARN
SO MUCH ABOUT ME?
449
00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:39,136
- IT'S A FUNNY THING, DARIA.
450
00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:40,605
YOU GIVE BIRTH TO SOMEONE,
451
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:43,875
YOU JUST GET AN URGE
TO KEEP TABS ON THEM.
452
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:48,479
OH, HI, SWEETIE.
453
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:49,580
- HOW ARE YOU, MOM?
454
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:50,915
- PRETTY GOOD.
455
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,950
YOU KNOW, EVERY MORNING,
IT'S A LITTLE HARDER
456
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,351
TO GET OUT OF BED.
457
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:55,352
- FOR ME TOO.
458
00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:56,353
[both chuckle]
459
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:57,755
- YOUR FATHER,
ON THE OTHER HAND,
460
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,991
SEEMS TO BE GETTING YOUNGER
EVERY DAY.
461
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:01,526
EVER SINCE HE RETIRED,
462
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:04,328
HE'S DEVELOPED
SUCH A WONDERFUL PERSPECTIVE.
463
00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:07,298
- WELL, TRIPLE BYPASS SURGERY
WILL DO THAT FOR A MAN.
464
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,799
- HOW'S MARCELLO?
465
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,002
- OH, FIGHTING THE SAME OLD
CURRICULUM BATTLES
466
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,569
AGAINST THE REST
OF THE FACULTY.
467
00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:14,372
AND EACH FALL,
THERE'S A NEW BATCH OF FRESHMEN
468
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:15,372
TO POTTY TRAIN.
469
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:17,507
- I ENJOYED YOUR COLUMN
THIS WEEK.
470
00:16:17,509 --> 00:16:19,243
- WE'RE PREACHING
TO THE CONVERTED.
471
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:21,145
I GET OUTRAGED,
THE READERS GET OUTRAGED,
472
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,546
AND NOTHING HAPPENS.
473
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,782
SOMETIMES I THINK I SHOULD HAVE
GONE INTO TELEVISION.
474
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:27,618
- [laughs]
YOU IN TELEVISION, DARIA?
475
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,486
- I KNOW.
WHO AM I KIDDING?
476
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:31,655
- HAS THERE BEEN
ANY FURTHER DISCUSSION
477
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,657
ABOUT EXPANDING
YOUR LITTLE FAMILY?
478
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:36,260
- MOM, YOU KNOW
I'M NOT READY FOR KIDS.
479
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:39,029
THE WHOLE IDEA MAKES ME UNEASY,
AND I'M NOT SURE WHY.
480
00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:40,364
[door clicks open]
- GIVE ME THAT!
481
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:41,498
- NO, IT'S MINE!
482
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,034
- MOMMY!
483
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,702
- OH, YEAH.
NOW I REMEMBER.
484
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,303
- HI.
485
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:48,439
YOU KNOW
WHERE GRANDMA'S TV IS.
486
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:51,308
GO WATCH
SOMETHING EDUCATIONAL.
487
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:52,976
BOY, I'M EXHAUSTED.
488
00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:55,279
- BREAST IMPLANTS
FOR CHICKENS...
489
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:56,847
both: NOT THAT!
490
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,215
- HOW ARE YOU, QUINN?
491
00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:00,852
- OH, YOU KNOW, ANOTHER DAY,
ANOTHER BABY.
492
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,119
[laughter]
493
00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:03,387
I SWEAR, ONE OF THESE DAYS,
494
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:05,423
I'M GONNA SLIP SOMETHING
INTO JAMIE'S BEER,
495
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:06,657
AND WHILE HE'S UNCONSCIOUS,
496
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,158
I'M GONNA GO OUT
AND GET MY TUBES TIED.
497
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,960
- BETTER YET, HIS TUBES.
498
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,261
[laughter]
499
00:17:11,263 --> 00:17:12,563
- HOW'S DAD?
500
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:13,798
AND WHAT'S HE WANT?
501
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,065
- I'M GREAT.
502
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,067
GOO-GOO.
503
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:17,802
- [cries]
504
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:19,203
- AH, SORRY.
505
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,472
YOU KNOW, GIRLS,
I WAS GOING OVER MY WILL...
506
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:22,640
- NOT AGAIN.
507
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,675
- DADDY, WHY ARE YOU
SO MORBID?
508
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,811
- THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I ASKED HIM.
509
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,079
- BUT I LIKE
GOING OVER MY WILL.
510
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:30,648
IT'S GOT ALL THAT MONEY!
511
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:33,351
- DAD, YOU REVISED YOUR WILL
TWO WEEKS AGO
512
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:36,287
WHEN YOU DISCOVERED YOUR OLD
GUM WRAPPER CHAIN IN THE ATTIC.
513
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:37,721
- THE KIDS
ARE GONNA LOVE THAT.
514
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,324
ANYWAY, WHO SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT REVISING MY WILL?
515
00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:41,926
- SO WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?
516
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:43,127
- WELL, I WAS READING MY WILL,
517
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,729
THINKING ABOUT THE PAST
AND THE FUTURE,
518
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,931
AND IT OCCURRED TO ME
THAT YOU GIRLS HAVE TURNED OUT
519
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,499
EXACTLY THE WAY I HOPED.
520
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,833
- COME ON.
521
00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:52,836
- DARIA, EVERY WEEK,
YOU WRITE THAT COLUMN OF YOURS,
522
00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:54,905
TRYING TO WAKE PEOPLE UP
TO THE TRUTH.
523
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,208
MY DAUGHTER,
THE CRUSADER.
524
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:59,576
- WELL, THERE IS SOME PLEASURE
IN WINNING AWARDS
525
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:00,844
FOR SAYING THE SAME THINGS
526
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:02,780
THAT MADE ME AN OUTCAST
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
527
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:07,151
- AND, QUINN, YOU'VE TAKEN
ALL THAT ENERGY AND ENTHUSIASM
528
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,186
YOU USED TO DIRECT
TOWARD BEING, UM,
529
00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:11,289
A TEENSY BIT SELF-ABSORBED...
530
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:14,057
- OH, DADDY, I WAS
A STUCK-UP LITTLE NIGHTMARE.
531
00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:16,961
- AND PUT IT ALL
INTO BRINGING UP THOSE KIDS.
532
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:19,163
- AND THAT'S NO EASY TASK.
533
00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:21,199
BELIEVE ME, I KNOW.
534
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,433
- HOW COME YOU NEVER COMPLAIN
535
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,735
ABOUT THOSE LITTLE MONSTERS
OF YOURS, QUINN?
536
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,537
- UM, I LIKE THEM, DADDY.
537
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:29,273
- I'M STILL NOT CLEAR
ON WHAT ALL THIS IS ABOUT.
538
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:33,344
- WELL, I WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN
REMINISCING, I THOUGHT, HEY!
539
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:34,811
[coughs]
540
00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:37,248
WHY DON'T WE GET TOGETHER
FOR A FAMILY CARD GAME
541
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,816
JUST LIKE WE USED TO?
542
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,384
- FAMILY CARD GAME?
543
00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:43,220
- WE NEVER PLAYED
A FAMILY CARD GAME IN OUR LIVES.
544
00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:44,489
- DARIA'S RIGHT.
545
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,991
- OH, DO I HEAR THAT.
546
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:50,361
I REMEMBER ASKING MY FATHER
TO PLAY "GO FISH"!
547
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,662
- TRIPLE BYPASS, DAD.
548
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:52,896
- OKAY, I'M ALL RIGHT.
549
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:54,632
ANYWAY, SO SCREW IT, THEN.
550
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,733
WE NEVER PLAYED
A FAMILY CARD GAME.
551
00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:58,869
LET'S PLAY ONE NOW.
BRIDGE?
552
00:18:58,871 --> 00:18:59,970
- GIN.
- HEARTS.
553
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,572
- DONE.
- OKAY.
554
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:05,376
I'M GONNA PLAY A GAME OF HEARTS
WITH MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE
555
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,178
AND MY TWO GREAT KIDS.
556
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:09,347
- OH, JAKE.
557
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:10,481
- HOW ABOUT IT, DARIA?
558
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,317
HEARTS?
559
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,952
- DEAL ME IN.
560
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:19,690
IT'S NOT VERY GOOD, IS IT?
561
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:22,059
- [tearfully]
OH, DARIA...
562
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:24,728
- IT WASN'T THAT BAD.
563
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,063
STOP. STOP!
564
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:29,066
THIS ISN'T A STORY.
IT'S REAL LIFE.
565
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:32,135
- WOW, SO YOUR STORY
MADE YOUR MOTHER CRY?
566
00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:33,537
- OUT OF HAPPINESS.
567
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:35,172
THAT'S THE SICK PART.
568
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,741
- AND RUN THE REASON
BY ME AGAIN.
569
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,042
- SHE TOOK IT AS EVIDENCE
570
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:40,310
THAT I'M SECRETLY
NOT AS ALIENATED AS I SEEM
571
00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:41,545
OR SOMETHING.
572
00:19:41,547 --> 00:19:43,580
IT'LL TAKE ME YEARS
TO UNDO THE DAMAGE.
573
00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:44,982
- SO YOU GONNA SHOW IT
TO O'NEILL?
574
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:46,316
- I HAVE NO CHOICE.
575
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:48,753
BUT IF HE CRIES TOO,
I'M DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL.
576
00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:49,854
- WOW.
577
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,188
WELL, LISTEN,
NOW THAT YOU'VE GOT
578
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,723
SUCH A GREAT ATTITUDE
AND EVERYTHING,
579
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:53,891
CAN I HAVE YOUR BOOTS?
580
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,192
- YEAH.
581
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,961
TURN AROUND, AND I'LL
GIVE YOU ONE RIGHT NOW.
582
00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:59,297
- DARIA, DO YOU THINK SOMEDAY,
583
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:00,965
I CAN READ YOUR STORY?
584
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,266
- NO.
585
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:04,802
BUT YOU CAN READ THE ONE
WHERE YOU RUN AWAY WITH KEVIN.
586
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:06,170
- WHAT?
587
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:09,373
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
588
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:12,376
Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com
589
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:15,379
[upbeat rock music]
590
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:20,751
♪ ♪
591
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,286
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
592
00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:26,090
♪ ♪
593
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:27,291
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
594
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:30,661
♪ ♪
595
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,229
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
596
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:42,106
♪ ♪
597
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:44,775
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
598
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:50,046
♪ ♪