1 00:00:02,269 --> 00:00:03,268 - ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪ 2 00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:06,372 ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪ 3 00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,877 - DARIA, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS 4 00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:14,146 WHO'S WAITING BY THE PHONE TO HEAR FROM YOU. 5 00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,415 - THAT'S WHY THEY TOOK AWAY MY PSYCHIC HOTLINE. 6 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,816 - IT'S--OH, MY GOSH. 7 00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,150 THIS IS MUCH TOO PUBLIC. 8 00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:23,655 SORRY, JANE, BUT I'M SWORN TO SECRECY. 9 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,891 - I'M SORRY. YOUR NAME AGAIN? 10 00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:31,863 - OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU WHO WE'RE CALLING. 11 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,564 IT'S VAL. 12 00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:35,934 YOU KNOW, THE VAL, 13 00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,404 AS IN VAL. 14 00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:39,805 VAL, PLEASE. 15 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,206 THIS IS TIMOTHY O'NEILL, 16 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,042 DARIA MORGENDORFFER'S WRITING MENTOR. 17 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,644 OF COURSE I'LL HOLD. 18 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,779 VAL IS COMING TO LAWNDALE HIGH 19 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,115 TO SPEND A WHOLE DAY WITH YOU. 20 00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:52,518 DARIA, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF VAL? 21 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,052 - THE ONLY VAL I CAN THINK OF 22 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,255 IS THE EDITOR OF THAT STUPID TEEN MAGAZINE. 23 00:00:56,257 --> 00:01:00,993 - YES, SHE LOVED YOUR ESSAY "MY SO-CALLED ANGST." 24 00:01:00,995 --> 00:01:02,161 - HOW DID SHE SEE IT? 25 00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:03,495 - I SENT IT TO HER, 26 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:06,131 AND IT WON THE "SPEND A DAY WITH VAL" CONTEST. 27 00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,832 HELLO, VAL? [chuckles] 28 00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:09,501 TIMOTHY O'NEILL, LAWNDALE HIGH. 29 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,836 I HAVE YOUR STAR WRITER RIGHT HERE, 30 00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:14,806 AND SHE IS DYING TO TALK TO YOU. 31 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:17,309 - HELLO. YES. NO. 32 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,776 IT JUST ISN'T. 33 00:01:18,778 --> 00:01:20,912 I GUESS I CAN'T STOP YOU. 34 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,281 SEE YOU THEN. BYE. 35 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:24,316 - REMEMBER, WE HAVE TO KEEP THIS A SECRET. 36 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:27,085 VAL WANTS TO COME TO LAWNDALE INCOGNITO. 37 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,219 WE WON, DARIA. 38 00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:29,220 WE WON! 39 00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:30,455 - LAWSUIT. - SORRY! 40 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:33,158 - "WHAT TV'S HOTTEST HUNKS 41 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,360 REALLY THINK ABOUT YOUR BLACKHEADS." 42 00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,095 SHE PUTS HER NAME ON THIS CRAP? 43 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,730 - QUITE A FEW TIMES. 44 00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:41,333 "VAL TALKS TO TODAY'S BRIGHTEST YOUNG STARS 45 00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,768 ABOUT WHY THEY LOVE VAL." 46 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,770 ISN'T VAL MAGAZINE PUBLISHED IN NEW YORK CITY? 47 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:46,972 - SO? 48 00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:49,308 - SO WOULDN'T A TRIP TO NEW YORK SWEETEN THE POT? 49 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,442 - BUT VAL'S COMING HERE. 50 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:51,643 I'M NOT GOING THERE. 51 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:52,877 - NOT YET, YOU'RE NOT. 52 00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:54,078 - DARIA MORGENDORFFER, 53 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,713 PLEASE REPORT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE 54 00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:58,316 FOR A COMPLETELY ROUTINE, ORDINARY, EVERYDAY CONFERENCE. 55 00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:01,220 OH, THIS IS SO EXCITING. 56 00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:02,654 MS. MORGENDORFFER, 57 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,824 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BIG AN HONOR THIS IS? 58 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,993 - THIS WHOLE THING WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET. 59 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,462 - DARIA, THINK OF A GIANT EYEBALL. 60 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,297 THAT'S THE PUBLIC EYE. 61 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,832 WHEN THE PUBLIC EYE IS TURNED 62 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,901 ON OUR LITTLE CORNER OF THE UNIVERSE, 63 00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,736 HOW DO WE WANT TO LOOK? 64 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:18,736 - BLECH. 65 00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:21,240 - BLECH? - GIANT EYEBALLS. CREEPY. 66 00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,941 - NOW, I HAVE A FEW IDEAS 67 00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:26,578 ON HOW WE CAN MAKE VAL'S VISIT HERE A SPECIAL ONE. 68 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,080 - SCHOOL COLORS DAY? 69 00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:31,517 ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE THE PUBLIC EYEBALL CONJUNCTIVITIS? 70 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:34,253 - BROUGHT BACK FROM THE GRAVE BY BLACK MAGIC, 71 00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:36,455 BUT NO ONE TAUGHT THEM TO CROSS AT THE GREEN. 72 00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:39,591 THE JAYWALKING DEAD NEXT ON SICK, SAD WORLD. 73 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,526 - HEY, KIDDO. 74 00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:43,127 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 75 00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:45,531 - CHILI CON CHEESE PUFFS? 76 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,365 - I GOT THE RECIPE FROM VAL MAGAZINE. 77 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:48,934 THE MINT WAS MY ADDITION. 78 00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:50,435 IT'S A FRESH SPRIG. 79 00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:52,770 - JAKE, WHAT IS THAT? 80 00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:54,072 CHEESE PUFFS? 81 00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,441 - IT'S THE FAVORITE OF SOME GUY NAMED MATT. 82 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,609 - HELP ME SET THE TABLE BEFORE VAL GETS HERE. 83 00:02:58,611 --> 00:03:00,211 - WE'RE EATING IN THE DINING ROOM? 84 00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:01,512 WE NEVER EAT IN THE DINING ROOM. 85 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,681 - "SPOTLIGHT: LAWNDALE FASHION CLUB, 86 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,783 A VAL MAGAZINE SPECIAL PHOTO SPREAD." 87 00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,018 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 88 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:10,188 - I THINK THE WORLD'S GONE MAD, MAD, I TELL YOU. 89 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,423 - THIS IS OUR CHANCE TO BE 90 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:14,192 THE NEXT INTERNATIONAL STYLE CENTER. 91 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,863 - PARIS, NEW YORK, MILAN, LAWNDALE. 92 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,399 - BEFORE THAT-- THAT GRUNGE, 93 00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:23,368 SEATTLE WAS JUST ANOTHER CITY IN OUR NATION'S CAPITAL. 94 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,536 - WRONG WASHINGTON. 95 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,337 - YES, GRUNGE WAS WRONG, 96 00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:28,607 BUT YOU CAN'T BLAME THE WHOLE STATE. 97 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:29,974 - WELCOME TO LAWNDALE, 98 00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:33,445 WHERE STYLE MEETS SUBSTANCE AND SAYS, "SEE YA." 99 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:37,082 - VAL! WELCOME TO OUR HOME. 100 00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:38,616 - OH, MY GOD, IT'S PERFECT. 101 00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:40,819 IT'S SO REAL. 102 00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:43,822 I AM SO JIGGY WITH MY IDEA OF SPENDING A DAY 103 00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,857 WITH A TYPICAL HEARTLAND TEEN. 104 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:48,893 AND YOU, YOU MUST BE MY BRILLIANT DARIA. 105 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:49,894 - ACTUALLY, UH... 106 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,297 - OVER HERE, VAL. 107 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:53,631 - AND THEN I SAID, 108 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,801 "DO YOU THINK IT'S EASY BEING A WUNDERKIND?" 109 00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:57,202 AND LEO WAS LIKE, "YEAH, I KNOW," 110 00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,871 AND WE JUST SORT OF SOUL-BONDED AND HEAD-CLICKED RIGHT AWAY, 111 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,039 AND I GAVE FIONA MY LYRICS, 112 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,108 AND SHE WAS LIKE, "VAL, YOU ARE SO WISE. 113 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,443 I AM SO GLAD TO KNOW YOU," 114 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,710 AND NONIE AND DREW SAID, 115 00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:07,278 "THE MAGAZINE HAS TO BE YOU 116 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,113 SO EVERYONE CAN KNOW YOU LIKE WE DO," 117 00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:10,816 AND THAT'S HOW I STARTED VAL. 118 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,116 WE'RE YOUNG BUT WISE, 119 00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:15,354 EDGY BUT FULL OF HEART, LIKE ME, VAL. 120 00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:18,457 - THAT IS FASCINATING. 121 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:19,558 - SPEAKING OF "EDGY," VAL, 122 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,460 I'VE GOT AN IDEA FOR A FASHION ARTICLE. 123 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,461 SEE-- - EDGY? 124 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,663 I KEEP HEARING THAT WORD FROM MY CLIENTS. 125 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,198 EVERYONE WANTS "EDGY." 126 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,467 WHAT IS IT? 127 00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:31,069 - "EDGY" IS GOING RIGHT UP TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF 128 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,004 AND BEING ABLE TO SEE ALL THE WAY DOWN 129 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,973 AND DANCING ANYWAY. 130 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,208 - WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? 131 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:37,576 - HOW DO YOU LIKE THE CHILI, VAL? 132 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:38,910 - IT ROCKS. 133 00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:40,045 ARE THESE CHEESE PUFFS? 134 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,712 - I GOT THE RECIPE FROM YOUR MAGAZINE. 135 00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:42,848 IS IT EDGY? 136 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:43,849 - WE ONLY DO EDGY. 137 00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:44,983 THAT'S WHAT DREW ME 138 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,519 TO DARIA'S ESSAY "MY SO-CALLED ANGST." 139 00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:50,022 I'M SURE DARIA CAN TELL YOU ALL ABOUT EDGY. 140 00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:51,123 SHE IS IT, 141 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,225 AND I MEAN "IT" WITH A CAPITAL I-T. 142 00:04:53,227 --> 00:04:55,760 - DARIA, YOU'VE BARELY SAID A WORD. 143 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,763 - YEAH, DARIA, TELL YOUR DAD WHAT "EDGY" IS. 144 00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,432 - AS FAR AS I CAN MAKE OUT, 145 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:03,100 EDGY OCCURS WHEN MIDDLEBROW, MIDDLE-AGED PROFITEERS 146 00:05:03,102 --> 00:05:04,870 ARE LOOKING TO SUCK THE ENERGY, 147 00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:06,371 NOT TO MENTION SPENDING MONEY, 148 00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,673 OUT OF THE "YOUTH CULTURE." 149 00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:10,675 SO THEY COME UP WITH THIS FAKE CONCEPT 150 00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:12,310 OF SEEMING TO BE DANGEROUS 151 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,045 WHEN EVERY MOVE THEY MAKE IS THE RESULT 152 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:18,850 OF MARKET RESEARCH AND A CORPORATE MASTER PLAN. 153 00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:21,753 - JAKE, HONEY, IS THIS MINT IN HERE? 154 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,187 - YEAH, FRESH SPRIG! 155 00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:24,689 - I LOVE THIS GIRL. 156 00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:26,357 IS SHE SMART OR WHAT? 157 00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:28,392 WHERE'D YOU SHARPEN THAT MIND OF YOURS, DARIA? 158 00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:29,761 THAT'S EDGY. 159 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:32,097 - WHAT IS? 160 00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:34,766 - ARE YOU SURE YOU WON'T STAY HERE TONIGHT, VAL? 161 00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,268 WE WERE SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. 162 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,536 - THANKS FOR THE OFFER, 163 00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:39,938 BUT I THOUGHT SINCE I'M IN TOWN, 164 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,607 I MIGHT AS WELL CHECK OUT THE GRAND REGENCY HOTEL. 165 00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:43,742 IT'S FOUR STARS. 166 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:46,311 - WOW, THAT IS LIVING LIFE ON THE EDGE. 167 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,914 - IN TOWN? THAT HOTEL IS AN HOUR AWAY. 168 00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,181 - MY DRIVER DOESN'T MIND. 169 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,117 SEE YOU TOMORROW, GIRLFRIEND. 170 00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,218 - BYE! - BYE, VAL. 171 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,219 - BYE, GIRLFRIEND! 172 00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,853 - SHE SEEMS VERY NICE. 173 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:56,888 I THINK YOU'LL HAVE 174 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,924 A GREAT TIME TOGETHER TOMORROW. 175 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,025 - WHAT DO YOU THINK, QUINN? 176 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,994 - UM, WAS SHE A LITTLE OLD FOR THAT OUTFIT? 177 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,663 - SHE'S A LITTLE OLD FOR THAT BRAIN. 178 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:07,032 - TRY NOT TO BE TOO NEGATIVE, DARIA. 179 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:10,001 - I'M NOT BEING NEGATIVE; I'M BEING EDGY. 180 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:12,470 - WHAT IS THIS WORD? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 181 00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:15,540 SOMEBODY EXPLAIN IT TO ME! 182 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,108 [doorbell rings] 183 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,209 - HI, GIRLFRIEND. 184 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,877 I AM, LIKE, BEYOND PSYCHED. 185 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,446 THIS IS GOING TO BE TOO MUCH FUN. 186 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,615 ARE YOU JUST SO JIGGY WITH THIS? 187 00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:25,117 - OH, YEAH. 188 00:06:25,119 --> 00:06:28,420 - ♪ LA, LA-LA, LA-LA ♪ 189 00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:31,456 ♪ LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA ♪ 190 00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:32,390 ♪ LA-LA ♪ 191 00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:35,961 [rock music] 192 00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,895 - OH, NO, DO YOU THINK ALL THOSE PEOPLE 193 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,230 ARE THERE TO SEE ME? 194 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,398 - THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING, 195 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,134 SINCE NO ONE KNOWS YOU'RE HERE. 196 00:06:42,136 --> 00:06:43,135 - VAL. 197 00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:44,402 MEG ROSATA, CHANNEL FOUR NEWS. 198 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,204 MIND IF WE FOLLOW YOU AROUND FOR A WHILE? 199 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:49,808 - UM, SORRY, BUT TODAY I'M JUST A REGULAR LAWNDALE HIGH STUDENT. 200 00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,709 I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS, 201 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,646 BUT PLEASE, NO CAMERAS. 202 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:57,249 - BUT YOUR OFFICE CALLED TO SAY YOU'D BE HERE. 203 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,550 - DARN IT! 204 00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:01,253 THEY MUST HAVE MISUNDERSTOOD MY "NO PUBLICITY" EDICT. 205 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,088 THAT IS SO WACK! 206 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:08,193 I'M SURE YOU'RE MORE INTERESTED IN MY STUDENT ESCORT, DARIA. 207 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,894 - VAL, HOW ABOUT A FEW WORDS 208 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:12,097 ON YOUR IMPRESSIONS OF LAWNDALE SO FAR? 209 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,465 - LAWNDALE ROCKS. 210 00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,133 - THAT'S GREAT. 211 00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:18,303 LAWNDALE HIGH MAY BE A TYPICAL AMERICAN SECONDARY SCHOOL, 212 00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:20,639 BUT TODAY IS ANYTHING BUT TYPICAL. 213 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:24,209 - BEING FAMOUS CAN BE SUCH A SPIRALING-DOWN DRAG. 214 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,978 I NEVER WANTED TO GIVE UP MY PRIVACY, YOU KNOW, DARIA? 215 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,313 - SURE, VAL. 216 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:31,416 THAT WOULD BE WHY YOU NAMED YOUR MAGAZINE VAL. 217 00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:32,750 - SO I THINK OUR STRATEGY SHOULD BE 218 00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:33,818 BASICALLY WE JUST HANG, 219 00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,253 AND I'LL COME UP WITH SOME EAR CANDY, 220 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,022 AND YOU'LL WRITE ABOUT YOUR DAY WITH ME, VAL, 221 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:38,589 AND I'LL WRITE ABOUT VAL'S DAY WITH YOU, 222 00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:40,892 AND WE'LL REALLY GET AT THE HIDDEN HEART OF HIGH SCHOOL. 223 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:41,893 ARE YOU WITH? 224 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,194 - UH... 225 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,997 - NEW YORK, NEW YORK, IT'S A HELL OF A TOWN. 226 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,767 - UM, NEW YORK CITY MUST BE VERY STIMULATING FOR A WRITER, 227 00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:51,936 ALL THAT CULTURE AND LITERARY TRADITION. 228 00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,270 - NEW YORK? GREAT PARTIES. 229 00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:55,640 HEY, DARIA, HOW COME EVERYONE'S WEARING BLUE AND YELLOW? 230 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,008 - IT'S SCHOOL COLORS DAY, 231 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:59,944 JUST A RANDOM EVENT INSPIRED BY SCHOOL SPIRIT. 232 00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:01,779 IT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR VISIT, 233 00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:03,682 WHICH, OF COURSE, IS A HUGE SECRET. 234 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:04,983 - YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. 235 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,018 I WANT TO FIT IN WHILE I'M HERE. 236 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,187 - THEREIN LIES THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US. 237 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,389 - GEORGE, I'M GOING TO NEED A WARDROBE CHANGE. 238 00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,324 PULL SOMETHING YELLOW AND BLUE AND JIGGY. 239 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,392 I DON'T KNOW. 240 00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,327 CALL A COURIER OR ASK THE CONCIERGE. 241 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,163 I HOPE NO ONE ACTS DIFFERENTLY AROUND ME, 242 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,131 BUT YOU'LL LET ME KNOW, RIGHT, DARIA? 243 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:22,399 - OH, THERE'S DARIA! 244 00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:25,403 LET'S SAY HI TO OUR BUDDY DARIA. 245 00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:26,738 - DARIA? OUR BUDDY? 246 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,173 - KEVIN, WE LOVE DARIA. 247 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,409 HI, YOU! 248 00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:35,247 DARIA, IT'S ME, YOUR FRIEND BRITTANY. 249 00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:36,681 - OH, GEE, BRITTANY. 250 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,015 I'M GLAD I RAN INTO YOU. 251 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,752 I'VE DECIDED TO TRY OUT FOR THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD. 252 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,420 WOULD YOU MIND SPONSORING ME? 253 00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:45,423 - UM, SURE THING, DARIA. 254 00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:48,159 - NOPE, THEY'RE NOT ACTING DIFFERENTLY AT ALL. 255 00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,561 HEY, HOW COME YOU'RE NOT WEARING BLUE AND YELLOW? 256 00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:53,331 - IT'S SCHOOL COLORS DAY, DARIA. 257 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:56,001 - YEAH, WE'RE NOT COLORFUL ENOUGH FOR YOU? 258 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:59,237 - IT'S MY OWN FAULT FOR GETTING LURED INTO CONVERSATION. 259 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:02,507 - AREN'T YOU GOING TO INTRODUCE US TO YOUR NEW FRIEND? 260 00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,509 - OH, SHE'S, UM, A FRIEND. 261 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,844 - OH, DARIA, WE MIGHT AS WELL GIVE IT UP. 262 00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,580 I'M JUST TOO RECOGNIZABLE. 263 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,882 OKAY, IT'S ME, VAL. 264 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,351 YES, THE VAL, AS IN VAL. 265 00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:16,587 - YOU'RE KIDDING. I LOVE VAL. 266 00:09:16,589 --> 00:09:17,621 - YOU KNOW EACH OTHER? 267 00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:18,857 - HOW ABOUT DOING A CHEER 268 00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:22,293 FOR AMERICA'S COOLEST YOUNG WOMEN, MY READERS? 269 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:25,463 - UM, OKAY. GIVE ME A "V." 270 00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:26,597 GIVE ME AN "A." 271 00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:28,199 GIVE ME AN "L." 272 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,368 GOSH, THAT'S SHORT. 273 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,070 - MAYBE I SHOULD WRITE ABOUT CHEERLEADING 274 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,371 AS THE NEW YOGA. 275 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,139 LAST YEAR I DID YOGA AS THE NEW CHEERLEADING, 276 00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:37,141 BUT I'M READY FOR A DIFFERENT SPIN. 277 00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:38,877 PRETTY GOOD FOR A 28-YEAR-OLD, HUH? 278 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,111 - 28? 279 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,212 - I KNOW, I KNOW. 280 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,414 PEOPLE STILL THINK I'M, LIKE, 16. 281 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,316 WHEN DREW AND I GO OUT CLUBBING, 282 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,385 I'M ALWAYS THE ONE WHO GETS CARDED. 283 00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:50,154 - THESE CLUBS, ARE THEY VERY, VERY DARK? 284 00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:53,691 - OH, IT'S SO COOL TO BE BACK IN SCHOOL. 285 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,026 [school bell rings] 286 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,428 - AND SO IN THE SOUND AND THE FURY, 287 00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,064 FAULKNER GIVE US A VERITABLE KALEIDOSCOPE 288 00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:03,301 OF P.O.V.s, POINTS OF VIEW. 289 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,703 OF COURSE, THE TITLE ITSELF IS FROM SHAKESPEARE. 290 00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:09,074 CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHICH OF THE BARD'S TRAGEDIES? 291 00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,075 DARIA? 292 00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:11,076 - MACBETH. 293 00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,077 - THAT'S RIGHT. 294 00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,711 THE SCOTTISH PLAY. 295 00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:15,547 "LIFE'S BUT A WALKING SHADOW, 296 00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:18,383 "A POOR PLAYER THAT STRUTS AND FRETS 297 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:19,784 "HIS HOUR UPON THE STAGE 298 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,353 "AND THEN IS HEARD NO MORE. 299 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:25,190 "IT IS A TALE TOLD BY AN IDIOT, 300 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:29,127 "FULL OF SOUND AND FURY... [chuckles] 301 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:32,197 SIGNIFYING NOTHING." 302 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:33,765 YES, VAL? 303 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,167 - I'D BE HAPPY TO TAKE A FEW QUESTIONS. 304 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:41,272 - OH. OKAY, SURE. 305 00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,842 - VAL, HOW'D YOU GET STARTED? 306 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,543 - WELL, I WAS A BIT LIKE DARIA. 307 00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:46,610 I WROTE ALL THE TIME. 308 00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:48,279 I WAS SMART. I WAS COOL. 309 00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:50,115 - BUT DARIA'S NOT COOL. 310 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:52,517 - ANYONE WHO WRITES LIKE THAT IS COOL IN MY BOOK. 311 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:55,753 AND MY BOOK IS CALLED VAL, ON SALE AT YOUR LOCAL NEWSSTAND. 312 00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,022 NEXT? YES? 313 00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,723 - DON'T YOU THINK VAL COULD TRY HARDER 314 00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:01,259 TO PRESENT A MULTICULTURAL, MULTIETHNIC, 315 00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,594 LESS BRAIN-DEAD POINT OF VIEW TO ENLIGHTEN GIRLS 316 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,797 INSTEAD OF JUST MARKETING TO THEM? 317 00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,198 - WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 318 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,332 - JODIE. 319 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,401 - JODIE, YOU'VE GOT GREAT SASSY ENERGY. 320 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,236 NOW LET ME TURN IT BACK ON YOU. 321 00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:14,739 PEA GREEN NAIL POLISH: EDGY OR ICKY? 322 00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:16,041 WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? 323 00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,142 - "EDGY" AND "ICKY" 324 00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:19,377 ARE SO HARD TO TELL APART THESE DAYS. 325 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:20,879 - EXACTLY! WACK! 326 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:22,981 - IS THERE A DUCK IN HERE? 327 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,449 - YOU'RE ON. 328 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,584 - WOULDN'T IT BE COOL TO HAVE A REAL HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT 329 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,553 RESEARCH THAT TOPIC IN NEW YORK CITY? 330 00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:31,056 - INTERESTING IDEA. I'LL WRITE IT DOWN. 331 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:33,391 - AND SO THE SEED IS PLANTED. 332 00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,727 - BIOLOGY METAPHOR: ICKY. 333 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:39,364 - NOW, WHO HAS A DATING PROBLEM THEY'D LIKE TO DISCUSS? 334 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,234 I WAS SO GOOD IN THERE. 335 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,836 I SHOULD BE DOING THIS ON TV. 336 00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,404 I COULD HAVE MY OWN SHOW. 337 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,673 - I KNOW. YOU CAN CALL IT VAL. 338 00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:49,741 - COOL, DAR. 339 00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,543 I AM SO DOWN WITH THAT. 340 00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:52,944 I BETTER PHONE MY AGENT. 341 00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:56,414 THIS BEING A TYPICAL HIGH SCHOOLER FOR A DAY IS SO FUN. 342 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,849 - MM, ALTHOUGH REAL HIGH SCHOOLERS 343 00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:01,586 DON'T CALL THEIR AGENTS UNTIL AFTER LUNCH. 344 00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:04,055 - QUINN, I'M CONFUSED. 345 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,258 YOU SAID YOU HAD A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH VAL. 346 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,760 SO WHY IS SHE HANGING OUT 347 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,728 WITH THAT GIRL WHO LIVES WITH YOU? 348 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,530 - OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT, SANDI. 349 00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:17,535 VAL HAPPENS TO BE DOING A SPECIAL UNPOPULARITY ISSUE. 350 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,205 COME ON. LET'S GO TALK TO HER. 351 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:21,906 - YEAH, I SEE IT AS A 9:00 SHOW, 352 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,374 BUT THERE'S SOME FLEXIBILITY THERE. 353 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,442 WORK SOMETHING UP. 354 00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,544 OH, AND MAKE SURE THE NETWORKS KNOW 355 00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:29,847 THAT I'M BLONDE NOW, OKAY? 356 00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:30,915 WHO ARE YOU? 357 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,517 - IT'S ME, VAL, DAR. 358 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,818 - OH, I FORGOT WHERE I WAS FOR A SEC. 359 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:35,986 - HI, VAL. 360 00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:38,489 THESE ARE MY FELLOW FASHION CLUB MEMBERS. 361 00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,058 - HI. - HOW GOES IT? 362 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,493 - FINALLY, SOME POPULAR PEOPLE. 363 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:43,928 JUST KIDDING, DAR. 364 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:47,698 - VAL, WE'VE DRESSED TO SHOW THE BEST OF LAWNDALE CHIC. 365 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,268 NOTE THE SIMPLICITY, THE BOUNCINESS, 366 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,737 THE OVERALL CUTENESS. 367 00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:54,639 - YOU GUYS AREN'T WEARING YELLOW AND BLUE. 368 00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,073 - UM, VAL? 369 00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:59,010 SANDI GRIFFIN, FASHION CLUB PRESIDENT. 370 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,578 IF I MAY? - YES? 371 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:03,448 - MIXING PRIMARIES DURING DAYLIGHT HOURS? 372 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:04,649 NOT DONE. 373 00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:05,750 - IT ISN'T? 374 00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:08,919 UM, EXCUSE ME. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 375 00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:10,755 - OH. 376 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:13,157 - SO YOU FINALLY MANAGED TO SHAKE GIDGET, HUH? 377 00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:15,860 - NO ONE CAN SURVIVE AN ASSAULT BY THE FASHION CLUB. 378 00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,295 - DOCTORATE, SHMOCTORATE. 379 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,163 JUST TELL THEM I WON'T ACCEPT THE AWARD 380 00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:21,365 UNLESS NEVE PRESENTS IT TO ME, PERIOD. 381 00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:24,335 YO, THERE'S MY GIRLFRIEND. GOT TO GO. 382 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:25,402 DAR! 383 00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:27,705 - NO ONE OF OUR WORLD, YOU MEAN. 384 00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:38,783 - DO YOU THINK IT'S FLIGHTY TO KEEP CHANGING MY OUTFIT? 385 00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,885 OR IS IT ONE OF THE INALIENABLE RIGHTS THAT COME 386 00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:43,254 WITH BEING A TEENAGE GIRL IN THE U.S. OF "A"? 387 00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:45,222 - MAYBE IT'S JUST PLAIN STUPID. 388 00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:47,825 - NO, IT'S FUN, LIKE YOU, VAL. 389 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,193 - THANKS. 390 00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:51,295 DON'T YOU WANT TO SIT AT THE POPULAR TABLE? 391 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,297 - YOU SAID TO DO WHAT WE NORMALLY DO. 392 00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:54,899 - SO LISTEN, DAR. 393 00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:57,368 I'VE BEEN GETTING, LIKE, THIS VIBE AROUND HERE. 394 00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:00,738 AM I TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE NOT POPULAR AT ALL? 395 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:03,074 - THAT'S RIGHT. I DON'T EVEN HAVE A CLIQUE. 396 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,143 - BUT YOU'RE COOL, RIGHT? 397 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:06,511 - SHE'S REALLY COOL. 398 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,012 BUT THINK HOW MUCH COOLER SHE COULD BE 399 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:11,048 IF SHE HAD A CHANCE TO SOAK UP MORE OF YOUR MENTORISH ENERGY, 400 00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:12,750 LIKE IN NEW YORK CITY. 401 00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:15,653 - HEY, DIDN'T YOU MENTION NEW YORK BEFORE? 402 00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:18,189 - I JUST THINK THAT TO REALLY FLESH OUT THIS STORY, 403 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:21,359 DARIA SHOULD SPEND A DAY WITH YOU IN YOUR ENVIRONMENT, 404 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,860 EXPERIENCING YOUR EXCITING LIFE 405 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,762 FROM HER TYPICAL TEEN PERSPECTIVE. 406 00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:26,430 - REALLY, JANE, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 407 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,500 I THINK VAL AND I HAVE HUNG OUT ENOUGH TO LAST A LIFETIME. 408 00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:32,169 - THAT'S CALLED SOUL-BONDING, DARIA, BUT HOLD ON. 409 00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:34,872 I THINK YOUR ONLY FRIEND, JANE, IS ON TO SOMETHING. 410 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:38,343 I LIKE THIS DUAL P.O.V. THING, DON'T YOU? 411 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,144 - JUST LIKE THE SOUND AND THE FURY, 412 00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:41,546 ESPECIALLY THE FURY. 413 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:42,780 - EXACTLY! 414 00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,749 IT'LL BE FAULKNERIAN AND SHAKESPEAREAN 415 00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,183 AND MAINLY VALIAN. 416 00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:48,686 YOU'LL HANG OUT WITH ME FOR ONE GLORIOUS DAY 417 00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:51,022 IN YOUR OTHERWISE HUMDRUM LIFE. 418 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,023 - THANKS, JANE. 419 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,957 - AT YOUR SERVICE, DAR. 420 00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:55,359 - DARIA MORGENDORFFER, 421 00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:57,996 PLEASE REPORT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY. 422 00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:00,665 AND IF, UM, YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANYONE WITH YOU, 423 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:01,899 A GUEST OR SOMETHING, 424 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,302 OF COURSE, THEY'RE WELCOME TO COME TOO. 425 00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:05,403 - JIGGY! 426 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,239 - [groans] 427 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:12,243 - I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOUR VISIT TO LAWNDALE HIGH 428 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,145 HAS BEEN EVERYTHING YOU HOPED IT WOULD BE. 429 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,046 - THIS PLACE ROCKS. 430 00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:20,117 - ALSO I WAS WONDERING WHAT'S GARTH BROOKS REALLY LIKE? 431 00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:21,385 - DON'T KNOW HIM, 432 00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:23,454 BUT CHECK OUT MY BUDDY SKEET'S UNDERWEAR SPREAD 433 00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,588 IN MY NEXT ISSUE. 434 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,257 WE'RE TALKING HOT. 435 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,724 HOW DO YOU WANT YOURS SIGNED? 436 00:15:27,726 --> 00:15:28,826 - OOH, ANY OLD WAY. 437 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:32,329 "TO ANGELA LI." "TO MY FRIEND, ANGELA LI." 438 00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:34,832 "TO A GOOD FRIEND AND A GREAT EDUCATOR 439 00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,133 ANGELA LI." 440 00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:37,234 - COOL. 441 00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:38,636 DARIA, YOU'RE TAKING NOTES, RIGHT? 442 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:41,738 - YES, DARIA, THIS IS AN EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU. 443 00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:42,940 - OH, I'M LEARNING QUITE A BIT. 444 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:43,941 [cell phone trills] 445 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:44,942 - EXCUSE ME. 446 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,277 GO AHEAD. YOU GOT VAL. 447 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,478 OH, HEY, NONIE, HONEY. 448 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,882 WHAT? WHAT? HE WHAT? 449 00:15:50,884 --> 00:15:52,784 WITH GWYNNIE? THAT SLUT! 450 00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,152 ARE YOU SURE? 451 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,820 NO, OF COURSE YOU HAD TO TELL ME. 452 00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:58,088 - EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 453 00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,523 - I AM VAL, AS IN VAL. 454 00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:01,792 I AM VAL, AS IN VAL. 455 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,695 FINE, FINE. 456 00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:05,362 - NOW, YOU'LL NOTE THE SCHOOL SPIRIT 457 00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:07,865 EVIDENCED BY THE BLUE AND YELLOW OUTFITS. 458 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:10,434 WHERE DOES THAT SCHOOL SPIRIT COME FROM, YOU SAY? 459 00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:11,569 IN MY YEARS AS AN EDUCATOR-- 460 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,638 - I AM VAL, AS IN VAL. 461 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,640 I AM VAL, AS IN VAL. 462 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:16,641 - CAN I GET YOU SOME WATER? 463 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,109 - GO AHEAD. I'M FINE. 464 00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:20,544 - AH, IN MY YEARS AS AN EDUCATOR, I-- 465 00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:21,578 - I'LL JUST BE A SEC. 466 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:24,649 I NEED TO MAKE A PHONE CALL. 467 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,484 - IT'S GOING VERY WELL, WOULDN'T YOU SAY? 468 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,319 - WE HAVEN'T ACTUALLY COME TO BLOWS YET. 469 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,054 - SHE DOES SEEM A BIT HIGH-STRUNG. 470 00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:32,156 YOU KNOW, DARIA, THE CREATIVE TEMPERAMENT 471 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:35,560 CAN BE A ROLLER COASTER RIDE OF TEMPESTUOUS EMOTIONS. 472 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,562 I REMEMBER MY OWN BRIEF CAREER AS A DANCER-- 473 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:41,866 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE WANTS TO HAVE YOUR BABY? 474 00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:43,568 - AS I WAS SAYING, 475 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,302 AS AN ASPIRING YOUNG BALLERINA-- 476 00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:47,104 - YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED? 477 00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:48,305 HOW DO YOU THINK IT HAPPENED, 478 00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:51,075 YOU UNGRATEFUL TEEN HEARTTHROB CHEESE BALL? 479 00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:53,243 A PITCHERFUL OF FUZZY NAVELS AND SUNSET 480 00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:55,079 ON YOUR FREAKING DECK IN MALIBU! 481 00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,849 THE SAME WAY IT HAPPENED WITH ME! 482 00:16:57,851 --> 00:16:59,417 - UM, YOU WERE SAYING? 483 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:00,684 - YES, I, UH-- 484 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,820 - YOU USED ME TO GET INTO VAL MAGAZINE! 485 00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:05,022 I MADE YOU, AND I CAN UNMAKE YOU! 486 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,757 YOU ARE NEITHER HOT NOR A HUNK, 487 00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:09,327 YOU SOON-TO-BE HAS-BEEN! 488 00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,896 [hip-hop music] 489 00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,899 SO I SAID, "THIS IS VAL TALKING, 490 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:18,503 NOT JUST SOME ORDINARY TEEN LOSER FROM LOSERVILLE." 491 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:19,637 - MM. 492 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,773 - ANYWAY, I AM THROUGH WITH FAMOUS GUYS. 493 00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:24,442 I'M STICKING WITH FASHION DESIGNERS AND STUDIO HEADS, 494 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:25,576 AT LEAST FOR THE TIME BEING. 495 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:26,744 - MM. 496 00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:29,247 - WATERPROOF EYE MAKEUP IS SO IMPORTANT, DAR. 497 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,582 AND GLITTER; I'M REALLY INTO GLITTER THESE DAYS. 498 00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,451 IT MAKES EVERYONE FEEL LIKE A STAR. 499 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:34,785 ARE YOU GETTING THIS, DAR? 500 00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,687 WHY DON'T YOU READ ME BACK YOUR NOTES? 501 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,089 - OKAY. "WHAT AM I DOING HERE? 502 00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:40,891 "HOW AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS? 503 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,760 DEAR GOD, HELP ME." 504 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:45,263 - WOW, YOU ARE SO EXISTENTIAL. 505 00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,565 BUT DIDN'T YOU WRITE DOWN ANYTHING I SAID? 506 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,566 [cell phone trills] 507 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,801 HANG ON. YOU GOT VAL; GO. 508 00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,170 HOW CAN I NOT APPEAL TO THEIR DEMOGRAPHIC? 509 00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:54,905 THEY ARE SO WACK. 510 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,374 I AM THEIR DEMOGRAPHIC. 511 00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,676 THEY WOULDN'T KNOW EDGY IF IT BIT THEM IN THE BUTT. 512 00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,711 OH, CONFIRM MY HAIR COLOR APPOINTMENT AND FACIAL 513 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:02,179 FOR TOMORROW, WOULD YOU? 514 00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:04,315 AND WORK UP A SCHEDULE FOR MY GIRLFRIEND DAR'S VISIT. 515 00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:06,217 THANKS FOR SAVING MY LIFE, HELPMATE. 516 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,984 I'M ZONKED. 517 00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:10,153 COLLABORATING IS HARD, DON'T YOU THINK? 518 00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:11,222 - HOW WOULD I KNOW? 519 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,056 - SORRY ABOUT ALL THOSE PHONE CALLS. 520 00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:16,059 - OH, I JUST THINK OF IT AS BEING A WITNESS TO HISTORY. 521 00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,728 ANYWAY, IT ISN'T EVERY DAY 522 00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,396 YOUR BOYFRIEND DUMPS YOU FOR A STARLET. 523 00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:21,132 - I WAS NOT DUMPED. 524 00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:22,466 AND I'M MUCH MORE FAMOUS 525 00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:24,735 THAN THAT PATHETIC B-LIST PSEUDO-CELEBRITY, 526 00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:27,171 NOT THAT THE SUITS WHO CONTROL THE AIRWAVES WOULD KNOW. 527 00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:28,472 SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE 528 00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:31,809 THE WHOLE ADULT WORLD IS AGAINST YOUTH CULTURE. 529 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,745 - EXCEPT THE ADULTS MAKING A NICE, FAT LIVING OFF OF IT. 530 00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:35,746 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 531 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:36,747 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 532 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,115 WHAT DO YOU MEAN PUSHING YOURSELF 533 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,418 AS SOME KIND OF ROLE MODEL WHEN ALL YOU CARE ABOUT 534 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,420 IS HOW YOU LOOK AND WHAT CELEBRITIES YOU KNOW? 535 00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:44,087 AREN'T TEENAGE GIRLS SCREWED UP ENOUGH 536 00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:46,290 WITHOUT YOU FOISTING YOUR SHALLOW VALUES ON THEM 537 00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:49,093 AND MAKING THEIR LOUSY SELF-IMAGES EVEN WORSE? 538 00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:50,160 - NOW LOOK HERE, MISSY. 539 00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:52,697 I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU, DAR, A TEACHER? 540 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:54,164 I AM A ROLE MODEL. 541 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:56,434 I'M IN TOUCH WITH THE TEEN WITHIN. 542 00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:59,336 - WHY DON'T YOU GET IN TOUCH WITH THE 30-SOMETHING WITHOUT? 543 00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:02,940 YOUR READERS AREN'T GOING TO BE TEENAGERS FOREVER, UNLIKE YOU. 544 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,107 A REAL ROLE MODEL 545 00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:05,976 WOULD BE TEACHING THEM STUFF THEY CAN USE. 546 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,144 - 30-SOMETHING? 547 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,378 YOU KNOW, I CAME HERE TO DO 548 00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:10,615 AN ARTICLE ON A SMART GIRL WHO'S COOL, 549 00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,282 BECAUSE SMART IS COOL. 550 00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:13,884 BUT COOL IS COOL TOO, 551 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:16,854 AND SMART THAT DOESN'T GET COOL ISN'T SO SMART, IS IT? 552 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,922 YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT NEW YORK, DARIA. 553 00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:22,293 YOU KNOW, DEEP DOWN, YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A--A-- 554 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,361 - A BRAIN? 555 00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:27,465 - YOU ALMOST MADE ME SAY IT. 556 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:31,636 I DON'T REALLY LOOK LIKE I'M 30-SOMETHING, DO I? 557 00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:34,304 - SO YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WRITE AN ARTICLE FOR VAL. 558 00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:35,873 HOW'S MR. O'NEILL TAKING IT? 559 00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,709 - I THINK HE UNDERSTOOD AFTER I HANDED IN MY ESSAY 560 00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,111 ABOUT SPENDING THE DAY WITH A TOTALLY SELF-ABSORBED 561 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:44,815 EGOMANIACAL TEEN MAGAZINE EDITOR DOING THE WORK OF THE DEVIL. 562 00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:47,884 - HEY, DARIA, DID YOU SEE THE LATEST VAL? 563 00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:49,486 - "MY DAY WITH 'D': 564 00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:51,288 "A DISTURBING TRUE-LIFE LOOK 565 00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:54,157 AT AMERICA'S UNDERGROUND BUMMER CULTURE." 566 00:19:54,159 --> 00:19:55,826 I WONDER WHAT THIS COULD BE ABOUT. 567 00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:57,128 - IT GETS WORSE. 568 00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:58,862 - "RECENTLY, I SPENT AN ENTIRE DAY 569 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,331 "HANGING OUT WITH A DISTURBING GIRL 570 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:03,234 "I SHALL REFER TO ONLY AS 'D'. 571 00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:06,003 "UNENTHUSIASTIC, UNPOPULAR, CYNICAL, 572 00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:09,640 "'D' JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW GREAT IT IS TO BE A TEEN. 573 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:13,144 IN FACT, SHE MAY BE THE ANTI-TEEN." 574 00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:15,679 - I'M AFRAID EVERYONE'S GOING TO KNOW THAT'S YOU, DARIA. 575 00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:18,349 - HEY, I'M JIGGY WITH IT. 576 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,283 - ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪ 577 00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:24,521 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 578 00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:37,935 ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪ 579 00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:42,773 ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪ 580 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:45,376 ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪