1
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,803
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
2
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,847
- KEVIE,
YOU LOOK LIKE SUCH A REBEL
3
00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:16,348
IN YOUR NEW JACKET.
4
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:19,952
- THANKS, BABE.
5
00:00:19,954 --> 00:00:21,086
YO, CHECK THIS OUT.
6
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:23,956
- IS THIS WHAT YOU EARTH PEOPLE
CALL "NECKING"?
7
00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:26,358
- NO, I MEAN,
CHECK OUT THE NEW KEVIN.
8
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,594
- YOU'LL NOTE
HE DIDN'T SAY "IMPROVED."
9
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:30,295
- THAT'S 'CAUSE HE'S A REBEL.
10
00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:31,430
- WHERE'S THE BIKE?
11
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:33,599
- HUH?
- THAT'S A MOTORCYCLE JACKET.
12
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:36,167
IT'S MADE OUT OF LEATHER
TO PROTECT YOU FROM SCRAPES
13
00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:38,537
WHEN YOUR HEAD'S BOUNCING
OFF THE GRILLE OF A TRUCK.
14
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,005
- IF YOU'RE JUST WEARING IT
FOR STYLE,
15
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:42,207
THEN IT'S A WASTE
OF A PERFECTLY GOOD COW.
16
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,541
- YOU WOULDN'T
WEAR SHOULDER PADS
17
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,210
IF YOU DIDN'T PLAY FOOTBALL.
18
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:48,247
- OR WOULD YOU?
19
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:50,549
- IS YOUR CUTLERY
HOLDING AN EDGE...
20
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,351
OR GOING OVER ONE?
21
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,319
- DIARY OF A MAD STEAK KNIFE
TONIGHT
22
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,355
ON SICK, SAD WORLD.
23
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:57,856
- HONESTLY, RITA,
24
00:00:57,858 --> 00:01:01,193
I DON'T CARE IF MOTHER'S PAYING
FOR YOUR NEW FAMILY ROOM.
25
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:03,695
- MAYBE SHE CAN GET A NEW FAMILY
TO GO WITH IT.
26
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:04,696
- WHAT?
27
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:05,897
THAT WAS DARIA.
28
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,000
SHE'S, UH,
PRACTICING FOR A SCHOOL PLAY.
29
00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:10,035
- A SALESMAN'S GOT TO DREAM,
BOY.
30
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:12,603
- DAMN NEIGHBOR'S DOG
GOT INTO THE TRASH AGAIN!
31
00:01:12,605 --> 00:01:14,206
NOW THERE'S GARBAGE
ALL OVER THE STREET.
32
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:15,473
THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
33
00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:17,376
THERE WILL BE ABANDONED CARS
ON THE FRONT LAWNS.
34
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,778
- I'LL RUN OUT
AND PICK UP SOME CEMENT BLOCKS
35
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:20,946
BEFORE THEY'RE ALL SOLD OUT.
36
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:22,648
- JAKE, CALM DOWN.
37
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,983
RITA,
I'LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK.
38
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:28,120
YES, I WILL...
VERY, VERY SOON.
39
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:29,721
- HELEN,
DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
40
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,290
WHEN PROPERTY VALUES COLLAPSE?
41
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,725
- IS IT ANYTHING LIKE
WHEN GOOD PETS GO BAD?
42
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,126
- WHAT IF WE CAN'T GET
A DECENT PRICE
43
00:01:35,128 --> 00:01:36,461
WHEN WE SELL THIS PLACE?
44
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:37,795
YOU THINK WE'RE GONNA MOVE IN
WITH YOUR SISTER?
45
00:01:37,797 --> 00:01:39,731
- OR SHOULD I ALSO
PICK UP A COPY
46
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,834
OF THE JONESTOWN
BARTENDER'S HANDBOOK?
47
00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:43,802
- [scoffs]
- AGH!
48
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,671
- JAKE,
YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.
49
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,472
NOTHING IS GOING TO AFFECT
THE VALUE OF THIS HOUSE
50
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:48,474
SHORT OF AN EARTHQUAKE.
51
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,542
- WE'RE ON A FAULT LINE TOO?
52
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,847
- OH, LOOK,
THE CIRCUS IS COMING TO TOWN.
53
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:59,151
- ON WHAT APPEARS TO BE
A VERY FAST LAWN MOWER.
54
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:01,453
[engine revving]
55
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,554
- HEY, JANE, DARIA.
56
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:03,855
- MEAN MACHINE.
57
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,357
WHERE'S YOUR SHRINER'S FEZ?
58
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,059
- DON'T WE LOOK LIKE REBELS?
59
00:02:07,061 --> 00:02:08,326
- OH, YEAH.
60
00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:10,362
THAT CRICKET IN YOUR FRONT TEETH
IS VERY JAMES DEAN.
61
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:11,396
- WHAT?
62
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:12,663
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT,
BRITTANY.
63
00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:13,732
IT'S DEAD.
64
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:16,502
- EWW!
I'M GONNA NEED NEW TEETH.
65
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:19,304
- I'M SURE THE GUYS IN WOODSHOP
CAN COME UP WITH SOMETHING.
66
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,873
- BEFORE FIRST PERIOD?
67
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:23,942
DON'T THINK SO.
68
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,043
- YOU KNOW,
YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED
69
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,378
TO RIDE THOSE THINGS
WITHOUT A HELMET.
70
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,247
- HEY, I DON'T FOLLOW "RULES."
71
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:29,414
I'M REBELLENT.
72
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:30,782
- DID HE SAY "REPELLENT"?
73
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,384
- SEEMS LIKE HE SHOULD HAVE,
DOESN'T IT?
74
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:35,053
- WELL, WELL,
WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE,
75
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:38,590
A BABE MAGNET
WITH A SEAT BUILT FOR ONE?
76
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:41,627
HOLD ON TIGHT,
LUSCIOUS LADY.
77
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,328
- HEY, POP A WHEELIE.
- YEAH, YEAH.
78
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,863
[together]
YEAH, POP A WHEELIE, COOL.
79
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,531
- COME ON, POP A WHEELIE.
- I LOVE WHEELIES.
80
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,700
- UH...OKAY.
81
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:52,204
[engine revving]
82
00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:54,172
- GEE, THIS WON'T END BADLY.
83
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,707
- YOU KNOW,
WE ARE THE ONES
84
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,175
WHO TOLD HIM
TO GET A MOTORCYCLE.
85
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,511
- HEY, IF WE TOLD HIM
TO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE,
86
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,778
WOULD HE DO THAT?
87
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:03,849
- DON'T KNOW.
WE'LL TRY THAT NEXT TIME.
88
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:06,552
- NOW, I KNOW I SAW THAT
PONCH GUY DO THIS ON CHIPS.
89
00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:09,288
[engine revving]
90
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:12,658
[tires squealing]
91
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:13,959
MY KNEE!
92
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,194
[screams]
93
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:19,264
- UH-OH, I THINK THE WILD ONE'S
GOT A BOO-BOO.
94
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:22,167
- HEY, YOU BROKE
THE TOMMY SHERMAN MEMORIAL TREE.
95
00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:24,469
- GOOD THING HE'S DEAD,
OR HE'D REALLY LET YOU HAVE IT.
96
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:25,870
- THIS IS SORT OF LIKE
WHAT HAPPENED
97
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,172
AT MY FOURTH BIRTHDAY PARTY,
98
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:29,740
ONLY IT INVOLVED A TINY TRICYCLE
AND A CHIMP.
99
00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:32,010
- THE DIFFERENCE BEING?
100
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:35,347
- OH, KEVIE,
I DON'T CARE IF YOU SQUISHED
101
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,115
THE TOMMY SHERMAN MEMORIAL TREE.
102
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,550
I STILL LOVE YOU.
103
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,353
- TOMMY SHERMAN WAS THE
GREATEST Q.B. LAWNDALE EVER HAD.
104
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,221
I TOO WAS A QUARTERBACK ONCE.
105
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,390
NOW I'M JUST A...
ONE-KNEE GUY.
106
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,858
- BUT YOUR KNEE WILL HEAL.
107
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,092
- WHEN?
108
00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:49,861
FACE IT, BRIT,
YOU'VE GOT CHEERLEADER-TYPE
109
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,664
ACTIVE WOMANLY NEEDS,
AND LOOK AT ME.
110
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,265
LOOK AT ME!
111
00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:56,468
KISSING ME NOW WOULD BE LIKE
KISSING ONE OF THOSE GUYS
112
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,903
WHO WEAR OLD-MAN PANTS
AND WATCH TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL.
113
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,072
- KEVIE, NO!
114
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,741
- BABE,
IT'S GOT TO BE THIS WAY.
115
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,143
- NO, IT CAN BE LIKE BEFORE.
116
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,945
LET ME BRING YOU A GATORADE.
117
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:09,748
- NO, ONLY SPORTSMEN
CAN DRINK SPORTS DRINKS.
118
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:13,285
FROM NOW ON,
I DRINK YOO-HOO.
119
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,487
- NO!
120
00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:16,922
[sobbing]
121
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,358
[bell rings]
122
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,560
THEN HE SAID THAT HIS ARMPITS
WOULD KNOW
123
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,628
ONLY THE EMBRACE
OF HIS CRUTCHES.
124
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:24,663
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
125
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:26,831
- I DON'T KNOW,
BUT IT SOUNDS BAD,
126
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:30,434
LIKE KEVIE'S ARMPITS
HAVE FEELINGS BUT NOT FOR ME.
127
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:33,939
NOW WHAT DO I DO
WITH LIPS SO EMPTY, SO YEARNING?
128
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,140
- LIPS?
129
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:37,042
SO WE'RE OFF THE ARMPIT THING?
130
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:40,378
- YOU KNOW, IF YOU BREAK UP
BRITTANY'S ATTEMPT AT THOUGHT,
131
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:42,414
IT LOOKS LIKE
A MYSTIK SPIRAL SONG.
132
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,216
- "ARMPITS HAVE FEELINGS
BUT NOT FOR ME.
133
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:48,420
NOW WHAT DO I DO
WITH LIPS EMPTY?"
134
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:51,189
HMM, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT
TO REPLACE "LIPS" WITH "SKULL"?
135
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:52,624
- IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS.
136
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,359
- OH, WHAT'S THIS?
137
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:55,460
- NOTHING.
138
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,028
- PLEASE, DARIA,
ANY FORM OF EXPRESSION
139
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,996
IS CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION.
140
00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:01,199
I SEE YOU'VE CHOSEN TO CELEBRATE
IN THE WAY OF VERSE.
141
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,735
- THE ONLY THING HERE
IN THE WAY OF VERSE
142
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,637
MIGHT BE
ITS COMPLETE LACK OF QUALITY.
143
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,238
- YOU'RE BEING JUDGMENTAL,
DARIA,
144
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:11,043
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY:
JUDGE...AND YOU GET MENTAL.
145
00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:12,411
- AND YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY...
146
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:13,979
- LIFE SUCKS,
AND THEN YOU DIE?
147
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:17,148
- THIS IS SO DEEP BUT SO SAD.
148
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,816
DARIA, ARE YOU DEPRESSED?
149
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,686
I MEAN, MORE THAN USUAL?
150
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,154
- NOT ME.
151
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,156
- BRITTANY?
152
00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,256
- WHAT?
153
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:27,926
UM...HERE?
PRESENT?
154
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:30,595
- COME ON, MAN,
IT'S JUST A SPRAINED KNEE.
155
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:32,130
YOU'VE GOT TO PLAY.
THE TEAM NEEDS YOU.
156
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,197
- NO, IT DOESN'T.
157
00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:34,499
THE ONLY TEAM THAT NEEDS ME
158
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,735
IS THE ONE THAT SITS
ALL THE TIME: THE CHESS TEAM.
159
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,470
- BUT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW TO PLAY CHESS.
160
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:39,537
- OH, YEAH?
161
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:41,373
KING ME! KING ME! KING ME!
162
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:43,641
- I'LL TALK TO YOU
WHEN THE PAINKILLERS WEAR OFF.
163
00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:46,511
- KEVIE,
MR. O'NEILL JUST GAVE ME AN "A"
164
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,813
FOR A POEM
I DIDN'T KNOW I WROTE
165
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,015
AND SAID I SHOULD GET COUNSELING
FOR MY TROUBLED MIND,
166
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,317
AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU,
SO WE HAVE TO GET BACK TOGETHER,
167
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:54,586
OR MY MIND WILL NEVER
UNTROUBLE ITSELF.
168
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:57,723
- BABE, THE ONLY WIDE RECEIVERS
I'VE GOT ARE MY CRUTCHES HERE,
169
00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,858
AND THEY ONLY CATCH
THE SWEAT OF MY DEFEAT.
170
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,060
- BUT WHAT ABOUT
OUR ETERNAL LOVE
171
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,796
THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO LAST
TILL GRADUATION?
172
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,197
- COULD YOU REALLY DATE A GUY
173
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,467
WHO ISN'T GONNA BE
IN ANY YEARBOOK TEAM PICTURES?
174
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:12,337
- I...I...OH, NO.
175
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:13,772
IT REALLY IS OVER.
176
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:16,941
[sobbing]
177
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,110
- NO TEAM, NO BABE.
178
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,580
I GUESS I'M, LIKE,
ON MY OWN.
179
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:22,714
WH-WHOA!
180
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:27,185
- ♪ LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA ♪
181
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:30,221
♪ LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA ♪
182
00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:34,091
- IS IT ME,
OR DOES STUDY HALL GO FASTER
183
00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:35,393
WHEN YOU'RE SOMEWHERE ELSE?
184
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,862
- LIFE GOES FASTER
WHEN YOU'RE SOMEWHERE ELSE.
185
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:39,030
- AWW, LOOK.
186
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,433
THE TOMMY SHERMAN MEMORIAL TREE
IS STILL DEAD.
187
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,568
- I GUESS NOW WE'RE GONNA
HAVE TO PLANT SOMETHING
188
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,838
TO MEMORIALIZE IT.
189
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,741
- OH, ANGIE,
I MISS MY KEVIE.
190
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:53,245
LIFE JUST ISN'T THE SAME
WITHOUT HIS BIG BROWN EYES
191
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,479
AND SPELLBINDING DIMPLES.
192
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:58,383
- I'D RATHER REMEMBER THE TREE
THAN REMEMBER TOMMY SHERMAN.
193
00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,885
- HEY, THAT'S NOT NICE.
194
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:02,587
YOU WOULDN'T LIKE THAT
IF YOU WERE TOMMY SHERMAN.
195
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,856
- I WOULDN'T LIKE ANYTHING
IF I WERE TOMMY SHERMAN.
196
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:07,492
IF I WERE TOMMY SHERMAN,
I'D BE DEAD.
197
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,227
all: OH, NO!
OH, GOD, A GHOST!
198
00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:10,862
A GHOST!
199
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:13,298
- FIRST TOMMY'S TREE IS DEAD,
AND NOW HE'S BACK TO HAUNT US.
200
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:16,067
- AS THE FOURTH QUARTER
WINDS DOWN,
201
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:18,135
AND THE SCORE REMAINS
OAKWOOD 21,
202
00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:20,439
LIONS ZIPPERINO,
203
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:23,442
DOES YOUR HUMBLE ANNOUNCER
DARE TO VENTURE
204
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:25,343
THAT THE MIGHTY LAWNDALE
"RRRROAR"
205
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:28,246
HAS TURNED INTO A PLAINTIVE
"MEOW"?
206
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,314
LAWNDALE'S
REPLACEMENT QUARTERBACK,
207
00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:31,716
MAD MACK,
HAS THE BALL,
208
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:34,351
AND IT LOOKS LIKE
HE'S GOING TO PASS IT TO...
209
00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:35,687
- UGH!
210
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,088
- NOBODY.
211
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,790
BAD BREAK, MAD MACK.
212
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,459
WE FELT THAT ONE IN THE BOX.
213
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:42,894
- GUYS, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED, SORRY.
214
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,729
- GIVE ME AN "L."
215
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:45,764
both: "L."
216
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:46,865
- GIVE ME AN "A."
217
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,166
both: "A"
218
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,501
- GIVE ME AN S-U-X.
219
00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:52,170
LAWNDALE SUCKS, HA.
220
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,639
- THIS IS NO GOOD,
NO GOOD AT ALL.
221
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:59,177
- AND THE LIONS ONCE MORE
GO DOWN TO DEFEAT.
222
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:02,313
- I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING
ABOUT ALL THIS LOSING.
223
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:06,717
- I JUST HOPE A NEW WARDROBE
IS ENOUGH TO TAKE OUR MINDS
224
00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:08,253
OFF THAT ABYSMAL GAME.
225
00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:10,822
- YEAH, ABYSMAL.
226
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,791
- IF THIS KEEPS UP,
WE MAY HAVE TO HOLD
227
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,693
AN EMERGENCY MEETING
ON THE DATEABILITY
228
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:15,961
OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM.
229
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,195
- OH, NO.
230
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,364
- LOOK, ISN'T THIS ADORABLE?
231
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:20,932
IT'S SO NECK-SLIMMING.
232
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,268
I WONDER IF THEY HAVE IT
IN CHARTREUSE.
233
00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:25,537
EXCUSE ME, MISS?
234
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,239
- WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
235
00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:28,840
I CAN'T BELIEVE
NO ONE'S EVEN OFFERED US
236
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,308
FITTING ROOMS YET.
237
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:33,879
- YEAH, IT'S LIKE THEY WANT US
TO GET SHOPPER'S CRAMP.
238
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,348
- MISS...OH, MISS?
239
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,917
- GUYS, SOMETHING WEIRD
IS GOING ON.
240
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,952
- [gasps]
241
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:44,522
- COME ON,
LET'S GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.
242
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,660
AHE-HEM.
243
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,829
TERESA,
IS THERE A LABOR STOPPAGE
244
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,230
WE SHOULD BE APPRISED OF?
245
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:53,398
NO ONE'S HELPING US.
246
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,033
- IT'S YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM.
247
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,269
THEY'RE...WELL...LOSERS.
248
00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:58,637
- WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO
WITH US?
249
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,138
WE DON'T PLAY FOOTBALL.
250
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,773
- YOU GO TO A LOSER SCHOOL,
251
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,474
AND IT'S NOT GOOD
FOR JUNIOR 5'S IMAGE
252
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,076
TO HAVE LOSERS
WEARING OUR CLOTHES.
253
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:08,380
- BUT WE'RE NOT LOSERS.
254
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,715
- LOOK, IF YOU DON'T MIND
TAKING TURNS,
255
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,317
I CAN GIVE YOU
FITTING ROOM EIGHT.
256
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:15,653
- THE UNPOPULAR PEOPLE'S
DRESSING ROOM?
257
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:18,189
- IT SAYS HERE
ON YOUR TRANSFER FORMS
258
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,125
THAT YOU'VE BEEN IN HIGH SCHOOL
FOR SIX YEARS.
259
00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:22,293
- YEAH,
I HAVE TROUBLE LEARNING STUFF
260
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,794
WHEN PEOPLE MAKE ME MAD.
261
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:25,396
- BUT YOU DON'T SEEM
TO HAVE TROUBLE
262
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,632
WITH THE OLD PIGSKIN, EH?
263
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:30,301
UM, WHY WAS YOUR SEASON
CUT SHORT LAST YEAR?
264
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,905
THIS SAYS YOUR OFFENSIVE LINE
HAD A "MISHAP."
265
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,640
- THEY MADE ME MAD.
266
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,675
- AHH.
267
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:39,010
UH...HEH.
268
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,848
- ZIPPIDY-DO-DAH, ZIPPIDY-AY.
269
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:46,283
MAKE TOMMY'S SPIRIT
GO FAR, FAR AWAY.
270
00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:48,252
[all screaming]
271
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,655
- ALL RIGHT, GIRLS,
PUFFING PARTY'S OVER.
272
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,957
- OH, NO, YOU RUINED IT.
273
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:56,060
NOW TOMMY SHERMAN'S GHOST
WILL NEVER GO AWAY.
274
00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:58,563
- WELL, FORGIVE ME
IF I DIDN'T SEE
275
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:02,133
THE SIGN ON THE DOOR THAT SAID,
"GIRLS' EXORCISM ROOM."
276
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,669
- AND THEN SANDY SAID
SHE DIDN'T KNOW
277
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,237
IF SHE COULD SHOW
HER FACE ANYMORE
278
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,139
AND IS THINKING ABOUT
THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM,
279
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:09,807
ALTHOUGH NOT IF THEY MAKE YOU
DYE YOUR HAIR
280
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,176
THAT REALLY BRASSY BLONDE.
281
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:13,678
- THAT'S JUST WHAT
SAMMY "THE BULL" GRAVANO SAID.
282
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,080
- HEY, HERE'S ANOTHER GOOD TOWN
WE CAN MOVE TO.
283
00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:18,917
IT SAYS THE SCHOOLS HAVE
PRODUCED THREE PRO QUARTERBACKS.
284
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,285
- HOW MANY PRO WRESTLERS?
285
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,986
- QUINN,
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE CONSIDERING
286
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:23,321
THE REST OF THE FAMILY.
287
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:24,389
- I AM.
288
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:25,690
WE LIVE IN A LOSER TOWN NOW,
289
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:27,358
AND THAT CAN'T BE GOOD
AT THAT JOB YOU GO TO.
290
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,728
ONLY LOSERS LIVE
IN LOSER TOWNS.
291
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:32,063
DO YOU WANT YOUR CLIENTS
THINKING YOU'RE A LOSER?
292
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,631
- HMM.
[tires screeching]
293
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:37,402
OH, DEAR, YOUR FATHER'S BRAKING
WITH HIS ANGRY FOOT AGAIN.
294
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,838
- IF WE MOVED TO A POPULAR TOWN,
HE'D BE HAPPIER.
295
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,539
- QUINN, WE'RE NOT MOVING.
296
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:42,841
- THAT'S IT!
WE'RE MOVING.
297
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:43,942
LOOK AT THIS.
298
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,476
IT SAYS
LAWNDALE HIGH'S FOOTBALL TEAM
299
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,212
IS THE WORST
IN LAWNDALE HISTORY.
300
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:49,447
IT SAYS LAWNDALE HIGH
IS A SCHOOL FOR LOSERS.
301
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,849
- JAKE,
THAT'S THE LAWNDALE SHOPPER.
302
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,651
IT'S WRITTEN
BY AN 80-YEAR-OLD MAN
303
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,886
WHO, IF YOU RECALL,
HAD TO BE TAKEN OFF HIS ROOF
304
00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:57,588
BY THE FIRE DEPARTMENT,
BECAUSE HE THOUGHT
305
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,724
HE WAS BEING CHASED
BY SCREAMING MICE.
306
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:01,058
- THAT DOESN'T MEAN
IT ISN'T TRUE.
307
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,495
- OH, DADDY,
MICE DON'T SCREAM.
308
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,563
- YEAH,
YOU'RE THINKING OF LOBSTERS.
309
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:06,665
WHO'S UP FOR SEAFOOD?
310
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,633
- THE VALUE OF OUR HOME
DESTROYED,
311
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:10,301
OUR LIFE'S INVESTMENT GONE.
312
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,636
GOOD-BYE RETIREMENT.
313
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:13,204
GOOD-BYE CONDO
ON THE GOLF COURSE.
314
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,238
HELEN, WE'RE RUINED!
315
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,306
DON'T YOU SEE?
316
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,042
- I SEE YOU SHOPPED ANGRY AGAIN.
317
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:19,744
NOW, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO
WITH 5 POUNDS OF...
318
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:21,413
J.T.'S JELLY PORK SHOULDER?
319
00:11:21,415 --> 00:11:22,414
UGH.
320
00:11:22,416 --> 00:11:23,815
- DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY.
321
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,249
IT WAS
THAT LAWNDALE SHOPPER GUY,
322
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,350
THE STORE, THIS TOWN.
323
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,385
THEY ALL TRICKED ME.
324
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,854
- WHICH IS WHY WE HAVE TO MOVE.
325
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:33,157
- SO MY SISTER'S SCOUTING OUT
NEW ZIP CODES.
326
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,693
MY FATHER'S SO MAD,
HE CAN ONLY SEE THE COLOR RED.
327
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,029
AND THE OTHER DAY,
WHEN MY MOTHER WAS PAYING BILLS,
328
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,698
I CAUGHT HER TRYING TO SMUDGE
HER RETURN ADDRESS LABELS.
329
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,333
MY HOME LIFE
IS BECOMING INTOLERABLE.
330
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,135
- "BECOMING" INTOLERABLE?
331
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:47,638
- IS THERE SUCH A WORD
AS "INTOLERABLER"?
332
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,006
- HOT STUFF.
333
00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:50,675
HEY, YOU LOOK FAMILIAR.
334
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:51,709
- NO, I DON'T.
335
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,411
- YOU GO TO LAWNDALE HIGH,
RIGHT?
336
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,380
- NO, WE'RE REFORM SCHOOL GALS
337
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,482
LOOKING FOR LOVE
IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES.
338
00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,317
- THAT'S GOOD,
BECAUSE IF YOU WENT TO LAWNDALE,
339
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:00,518
YOU'D BE LOSERS.
340
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,387
[laughs]
WHAT A LOSER SCHOOL.
341
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,088
ENJOY NOW, HA.
342
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,857
- GREAT, AND JUST WHEN
I WAS FEELING LIKE A WINNER.
343
00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:09,627
- I TAKE IT YOUR QUARTERBACK
IS STILL WALLOWING IN SELF-PITY.
344
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,562
- I WISH HE'D TRY
SELF-IMMOLATION.
345
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,898
- SPORT BOY NEEDS A REASON
TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF,
346
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,165
AND THERE JUST AREN'T ANY.
347
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,569
- WE COULD TRY SENDING HIM BACK
TO THE THIRD GRADE,
348
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,170
WHERE WINNING
A PASTE-EATING CONTEST
349
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:20,538
STILL COUNTS FOR SOMETHING.
350
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,874
- ACTUALLY, WHY NOT SEND HIM
BACK TO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL?
351
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:25,509
- BECAUSE HE'D NEVER MEET
THE ACADEMIC REQUIREMENTS.
352
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:27,311
- I MEAN AS ONE OF THOSE
SAFETY LECTURERS.
353
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:28,812
HE COULD TALK ABOUT
HOW STUPID HE WAS
354
00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:29,947
TO WIPE OUT ON HIS BIKE.
355
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:32,116
THE KIDS WOULD PROBABLY
RATHER LISTEN TO HIM
356
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,185
THAN THEIR TEACHERS,
SO HE'D HAVE A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE
357
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:35,586
AND FEEL SELF-IMPORTANT AGAIN.
358
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,989
- SO SIMPLE
AND YET SO PERFECT.
359
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,390
DARIA,
WHY DIDN'T WE THINK OF THAT?
360
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:40,825
- 'CAUSE WE'RE LAWNDALE LOSERS,
361
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,060
WHO WALLOW IN OUR OWN IGNORANCE
AND FILTH.
362
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,562
WHO WANTS ANOTHER SLICE?
363
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:49,033
- ♪ LA, LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA ♪
364
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,535
♪ LA-LA, LA-LA, LA-LA ♪
365
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:54,939
- MR. O'NEILL.
366
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,573
- OH, YOU STARTLED ME.
367
00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:58,643
I GUESS ALL THAT TALK
ABOUT GHOSTS AND EXORCISM
368
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,111
HAS PUT ME A LITTLE ON EDGE.
369
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,746
- HEY, WANT TO SEE ME
TWIST MY HEAD AROUND
370
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,081
AND AROUND AND AROUND?
371
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,681
- WE WANT TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT KEVIN.
372
00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:06,350
- WE THINK IT MIGHT PULL HIM
OUT OF HIS SLUMP
373
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:07,819
IF HE BECAME A SAFETY LECTURER:
374
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:10,221
TELL KIDS HOW RECKLESS BEHAVIOR
LEADS TO INJURIES.
375
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,289
- THEY DON'T HAVE TO KNOW
HE WAS BRAIN-DAMAGED
376
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:13,758
BEFORE THE ACCIDENT.
377
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:17,529
- HMM, TURNING A BAD EXPERIENCE
INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE.
378
00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:20,031
GIRLS, I DO BELIEVE
WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE.
379
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,165
- WE ARE?
380
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,201
NOW I'M IN A SLUMP.
381
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:26,036
- KEVIN,
THE WISDOM YOU IMPART
382
00:13:26,038 --> 00:13:27,905
TO THESE
IMPRESSIONABLE YOUNG MINDS
383
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:30,041
CAN HAVE A PROFOUND EFFECT
UPON THEIR LIVES.
384
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,175
- COOL.
385
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:32,944
- REMEMBER,
A MAN IS NEVER TALLER
386
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:35,046
THAN WHEN HE HELPS
THE SMALLEST CHILD.
387
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:36,247
- [laughs]
388
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,016
BUT WHAT ABOUT
WHEN HE'S WEARING CLEATS?
389
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:41,519
- UM, JUST GO OUT THERE,
AND TRY NOT TO HURT YOURSELF.
390
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,591
- MY NAME IS KEVIN,
AND I'M A--
391
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:48,993
- LOUDER.
392
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:53,030
- MY NAME IS KEVIN,
AND I USED TO BE A REBEL,
393
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:55,333
BUT NOW
I'M JUST A BIG FAT LOSER.
394
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,734
EVERYWHERE I GO, IT'S LIKE,
"LOOK AT THAT LOSER.
395
00:13:57,736 --> 00:13:58,803
"NICE DAY, LOSER.
396
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:01,172
MORE CHOCOLATE MILK, LOSER?"
397
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,607
BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THIS.
398
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:05,610
BEFORE MY BIKE ACCIDENT,
I WAS THE Q.B.
399
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:06,644
CHICKS LOVE THAT.
400
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,745
all: COOL.
THAT WAS NEAT.
401
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:08,746
- HOT CHICKS?
402
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,147
- CHEERLEADERS.
403
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:11,215
all: COOL.
OH, WOW.
404
00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:12,617
- SEE,
MOTORCYCLES ARE DANGEROUS,
405
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:14,017
ESPECIALLY WHEN
YOU FALL OFF THEM.
406
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,853
HEH, I MEAN,
I'M ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES.
407
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,356
I MEAN, I COULD HAVE FALLEN
OFF THE GRAND CANYON
408
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,024
AND HIT MY HEAD ON A ROCK
OR SOMETHING.
409
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,893
THEN I'D BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS
WITH THEIR BRAIN
410
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:24,562
STICKING OUT OF THEIR EYES AND
THEIR GUTS ALL OVER THE PLACE.
411
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:25,696
- COOL.
412
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,865
- IN COLLUSION,
MOTORCYCLES CAN WRECK YOUR LIFE
413
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,400
AND MAKE IT
SO YOU CAN'T PLAY FOOTBALL,
414
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,802
AND THAT'S NOT COOL.
SAFETY IS COOL.
415
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:32,837
ANY QUESTIONS?
416
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:34,171
- TELL ME ABOUT
THE CHEERLEADERS.
417
00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:35,473
- I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT
THE BLOOD AND GUTS AGAIN.
418
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:39,310
[all cheering]
419
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,412
- AND THAT'S HOW I SAVED
COUNTLESS YOUTH CHILDREN
420
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,314
AS A WALKING "SAFETY DON'T."
421
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:45,783
AND WHEN KIDS ARE ABOUT TO DO
SOMETHING DANGEROUS, THEY GO,
422
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,085
"HEY, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.
423
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,953
I WANT TO BE LIKE
THAT COOL SAFETY GUY."
424
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:51,556
- HE'D BE
SUCH A WONDERFUL FATHER.
425
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:52,891
- OF A COCONUT.
426
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:55,026
- NOW MY CRUTCHES ARE, LIKE,
MY BEST FEATURE.
427
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:58,162
- TAKING OVER THE ROLE
FORMERLY PLAYED BY HIS CAR.
428
00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:00,131
- WELL, THIS PLAN
BACKFIRED PERFECTLY.
429
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,000
- KEVIN, THAT REPORT
WAS PEACHY.
430
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,433
- THANKS.
431
00:15:03,435 --> 00:15:06,370
- ALTHOUGH WHAT IT HAS TO DO
WITH THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS,
432
00:15:06,372 --> 00:15:09,607
WHICH WAS YOUR ASSIGNED TOPIC,
I FAIL TO UNDERSTAND.
433
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,409
- UM...
434
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,211
DID EVERYONE GET TO SEE
MY PICTURE?
435
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:14,779
[whistle blows]
436
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:15,980
- THIS ISN'T WORKING.
437
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:18,016
THE NEW GUY,
HE'S GOT SOME WEIRD RULES.
438
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,117
- YOU MEAN WEIRDER THAN STICKING
YOUR BUTT IN THE AIR
439
00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:21,452
AND MAKING A FOOTBALL APPEAR?
440
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,853
- IT'S CALLED A HIKE.
441
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:24,389
- NOW, I'M GONNA THROW THIS.
442
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:27,024
IF YOU CATCH IT,
YOU GET TO KICK ME IN THE HEAD.
443
00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:29,059
IF YOU MISS IT,
I'LL KILL YOU.
444
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:31,062
all: HUH?
NO, I'M NOT PLAYING THAT.
445
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,630
- YOU THINK I'M KIDDING?
446
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,198
WELL, TRY ME, PUNKS.
447
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,535
NOW, GO OUT FOR A PASS,
OR I'LL WASTE YOU RIGHT NOW.
448
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:38,635
[whistle blows]
449
00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:40,704
OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.
450
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,173
HEY, STOP, HEY.
451
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,608
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO RUN
ACROSS THE STREET.
452
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:48,246
MAN, THIS HAPPENS
EVERYWHERE I GO.
453
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:51,249
NOBODY KNOWS
HOW TO PLAY FOOTBALL.
454
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:53,518
[bell rings]
455
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:54,952
- WHAT'S WITH QUINNY O.?
456
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:58,122
- SHE'S DRESSING INCOGNITO
UNTIL SHE CAN PERSUADE MY MOTHER
457
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,791
TO RELOCATE US TO BERMUDA.
458
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,092
- YOU SHOULD REALLY
KEEP HER AWAY
459
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,727
FROM OPEN BOTTLES
OF NAIL POLISH.
460
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:05,029
- OR SCATTER A LOT MORE
OF THEM AROUND.
461
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,798
- DARIA, JANE,
WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE
462
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,201
TO THE TOMMY SHERMAN
MEMORIAL TREE FUND?
463
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,437
WE'RE HOPING TO GET HIS GHOST
OUT OF THE GIRLS' ROOM.
464
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,872
- IT TAKES A TREE TO GET HIM
OUT OF THE GIRLS' ROOM?
465
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:16,474
DID HE TURN INTO A DOG
OR SOMETHING?
466
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,342
- I DON'T THINK SO.
467
00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:21,044
- YOU KNOW, IF YOU CAN JUST GET
THOSE CRUTCHES AWAY FROM KEVIN,
468
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,613
YOU CAN PLANT
ONE OF THEM INSTEAD.
469
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:25,616
THAT'S SURE TO APPEASE TOMMY'S
RESTLESS BATHROOM SPIRIT.
470
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,251
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
471
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,919
- YOU KNOW
YOU'RE GOING TO HELL.
472
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:31,389
- ANYTHING THAT GETS ME
OUT OF LAWNDALE.
473
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,924
- SEE, BY TEACHING THE KIDS
ABOUT SAFETY,
474
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,793
I'M GIVING SOMETHING BACK
TO SOCIETY.
475
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,361
I'M, LIKE, A PHILANDERIST.
476
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:39,430
- YEAH, YEAH,
HOW ABOUT SUITING UP
477
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,098
AND GIVING SOMETHING BACK
TO THE TEAM?
478
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,801
THIS NEW GUY'S GOT THE RECEIVERS
HIDING IN A DUMPSTER.
479
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:44,968
- BUT THE KIDS...
480
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:46,237
THEY LOOK UP TO ME, BRO.
481
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:49,140
- HEY, WE LOOK UP...
WE LOOK AT YOU TOO.
482
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,375
NOW COME ON BACK,
WILL YOU?
483
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:52,477
- HI, KEVIE.
- HEY.
484
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,178
- UM, I WAS WONDERING,
485
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,280
CAN I BORROW
ONE OF YOUR CRUTCHES, PLEASE?
486
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:57,681
- CAN'T SPARE IT.
487
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,583
I NEED IT
FOR MY MOTIVATED SPEAKING.
488
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:02,053
SAY, BRIT, YOU KNOW,
THERE'S NO LAW THAT SAYS
489
00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:04,222
A MOTIVATED SPEAKER
CAN'T HAVE A BABE.
490
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:06,090
- BUT THERE IS A LAW THAT SAYS
491
00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:09,761
CHEERLEADERS CAN ONLY DATE
FOOTBALL PLAYERS, REMEMBER?
492
00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:10,928
- DARN!
493
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,263
YOU KNOW,
THAT'S RECRIMINATION.
494
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,132
I MEAN, JUST 'CAUSE
I DON'T WEAR A UNIFORM
495
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,134
DOESN'T MEAN
I'M NOT THE SAME GUY.
496
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:17,434
- YES, IT DOES.
497
00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:19,704
MY KEVIE IS A FOOTBALL LEADER
OF MEN.
498
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,372
MY KEVIE WOULDN'T LET
THE WHOLE TEAM DOWN.
499
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:25,476
MY KEVIE WOULDN'T LET LAWNDALE
BECOME A LOSER TOWN.
500
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:28,045
- WAIT, BABE, COME BACK.
501
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,580
- FORGET IT, KEVIE.
502
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:30,715
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
503
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,183
YOU'RE A...
A MAN ON AN ISLAND.
504
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:35,352
- BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE
ON AN ISLAND.
505
00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:36,854
I GET SEASICK.
506
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:39,791
BESIDES, I NEED...
THE LOVE.
507
00:17:39,793 --> 00:17:40,924
- HUH?
508
00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:42,626
- I MEAN,
WHAT'S SAVING LIVES
509
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:43,961
IF THERE'S NO ONE
TO MAKE OUT WITH?
510
00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:46,697
- I BELIEVE GANDHI
ASKED THAT SAME QUESTION.
511
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,132
- IT'S WHY
HE HAD TO BE ELIMINATED.
512
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:51,135
[sweeping dramatic
orchestral music]
513
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:59,076
♪ ♪
514
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:01,212
[cheers and applause]
515
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,914
- BRIT,
I REALIZED THAT WITHOUT YOU,
516
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,716
I'M BY MYSELF.
517
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:07,351
YOUR LOVE HAS HEALED ME, BABE.
518
00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:09,152
I'M...I'M CURED.
519
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:10,855
- OH, KEVIE.
520
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,790
I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH.
521
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,492
- LIKE, ME TOO, BABE.
522
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,259
- CARE TO JOIN ME
IN THE GIRLS' ROOM
523
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:17,761
FOR A JOLLY PUKE?
524
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,131
- SURE, BUT NOT IF
THAT TOMMY SHERMAN'S IN THERE.
525
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:23,167
- THAT TOMMY SHERMAN,
HE RUINS EVERYTHING.
526
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,437
- LOOK, THE NEW TOMMY SHERMAN
MEMORIAL TREE.
527
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:28,572
- LOVELY.
528
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:30,241
- I WONDER WHY
IT ISN'T BLOSSOMING.
529
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,677
- DID YOU TAKE THE LITTLE
RUBBER THING OFF THE BOTTOM?
530
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:34,345
- OH.
531
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:37,248
- OH, MM, DARIA,
MAYBE WE SHOULD GO INSIDE
532
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,649
BEFORE LIGHTING STRIKES YOU DEAD
533
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,417
AND BITS OF YOU
MESS UP MY NICE SHOES.
534
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:46,491
[cheers and applause]
535
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:49,927
- AND STAR QUARTERBACK
KEVIN THOMPSON SCORES AGAIN.
536
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,796
RRRROOAR.
537
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,063
- YES! YES!
538
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,532
HELEN, HELEN,
GIVE ME YOUR PHONE.
539
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,466
all: WE'RE NOT LOSERS.
540
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:57,768
WE'RE NOT LOSERS.
541
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,069
WE'RE NOT LOSERS.
542
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,538
LAWNDALE RULES!
543
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,540
- BRITTANY WORKED ALL WEEK
WRITING THAT.
544
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:03,674
- IT SHOWS.
545
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,276
THE REITERATION: POWERFUL.
546
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,210
- LIKE GETTING HIT
IN THE HEAD REPEATEDLY
547
00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:08,513
WITH A SOCK FULL OF QUARTERS.
548
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:11,415
- AND HERE HE IS,
THE MIRACLE MAN.
549
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:14,719
LET'S HEAR IT FOR KEVIN
AND HIS MAGIC KNEE.
550
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:17,588
[cheers and applause]
551
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:20,724
- YEAH, I'LL BET YOU DIDN'T TRY
TO DRIVE DOWN PROPERTY VALUES.
552
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,159
WELL,
LAWNDALE HIGH'S QUARTERBACK
553
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,795
IS FIT AS A FIDDLE, AND
LAWNDALE'S GOT A WINNER SCHOOL,
554
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,663
AND THE BEST PEOPLE ARE GONNA
WANT TO LIVE HERE,
555
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,632
AND THEY BUY HOUSES
AT MARKET VALUE,
556
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,301
NO THANKS TO YOU, LOSER.
557
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:31,302
OH, YEAH?
558
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:32,903
WELL, I WANT MY MOMMY TOO.
559
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:34,138
HA!
560
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:35,672
- DO YOU FEEL BETTER
NOW THAT YOU'VE SET
561
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,274
THE LAWNDALE SHOPPER MAN RIGHT?
562
00:19:37,276 --> 00:19:39,210
- ACTUALLY, THAT WAS
HIS SIX-YEAR-OLD GRANDSON,
563
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,778
BUT I'M SURE
HE'LL GIVE HIM THE MESSAGE.
564
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:44,381
- AHHH!
565
00:19:44,383 --> 00:19:45,716
- OH, NO.
566
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:49,152
HAS THE MIGHTY KEVIN THOMPSON
INJURED HIS KNEE AGAIN?
567
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,224
PRAISE THE LORD.
568
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,725
HE LANDED ON HIS HEAD.
569
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,161
- THIS IS A DAY OF MIRACLES.
570
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,401
- ♪ LA-LA-LA, LA-LA ♪
571
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:06,337
Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com
572
00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:20,984
♪ LA LA LA ♪
573
00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:25,856
♪ LA LA LA ♪
574
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:28,792
♪ LA LA LA ♪
575
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,404
♪ LA-LA-LA, LA-LA ♪