1 00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:04,069 - ♪ LA-LA, LA-LA, LA ♪ 2 00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:09,807 - UGH, SUGAR TARTS? 3 00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:11,543 HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD THE EXPRESSION 4 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,145 "YOU EAT WHAT YOU ARE"? 5 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,180 - HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD THE EXPRESSION 6 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:16,515 "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME"? 7 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:17,615 - YOU WANT SOME MILK, KIDDO? 8 00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:18,616 - NO, THANKS. 9 00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:19,984 READ THE WARNING LABEL. 10 00:00:19,986 --> 00:00:22,654 "CONTAINS TRYPTOPHANE, HIGHLY RELAXING, 11 00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,456 DO NOT COMBINE WITH HIGH SCHOOL." 12 00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,958 - I DON'T SEE THAT. 13 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,558 DOES MILK REALLY RELAX YOU? 14 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:28,894 - IT'S NOT QUITE AS EFFECTIVE 15 00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:34,433 WHEN DILUTED WITH THREE CUPS OF COFFEE. 16 00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:35,934 - GOOD MORNING! - MOM? 17 00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,770 - WHO'D LIKE A NICE HOT BREAKFAST A LA HELEN? 18 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,205 - HOT BREAK-- 19 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:43,608 HONEY, YOU'RE NOT GOING THROUGH "THE CHANGE," ARE YOU? 20 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,744 - MY 7:00 A.M. MEETING GOT CANCELLED, 21 00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:48,347 SO I THOUGHT WE COULD ENJOY SOME EXTRA FAMILY TIME. 22 00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:50,081 DARIA, CAN I MAKE YOU BREAKFAST? 23 00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:51,683 - SURE, PUSH THE LEVER. 24 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,451 - DARIA! SUGAR TARTS? 25 00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:56,722 - HEY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT FROZEN BURRITOS WON'T FIT. 26 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:59,257 - JAKE, QUINN, CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? 27 00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:00,425 - ACTUALLY, I SAW THESE 28 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,060 REALLY CUTE ZIPPER BOOTS AT CASHMAN'S. 29 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,896 - I MEANT FOR BREAKFAST. 30 00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:05,564 - I COULD WEAR THEM DURING BREAKFAST. 31 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:06,598 [cell phone trills] 32 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:07,800 - ERIC? WHAT? 33 00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:09,100 WHEN? HOW? 34 00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:11,169 OF COURSE NOT, NOT A PROBLEM. 35 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:12,837 - YOU KNOW, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, HONEY, 36 00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,673 I COULD SURE USE ONE OF YOUR EGG WHITE OMELETS. 37 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,007 YUM. 38 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,076 - JAKE, CAN'T YOU EVER THINK OF ANYONE BUT YOURSELF? 39 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,378 I'VE GOT A HUGE EMERGENCY AT THE OFFICE. 40 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:23,682 MY 7:00'S BACK ON, AND I'M LATE. 41 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,149 - WHAT'D I DO? 42 00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:28,653 - DAMN, I'LL HAVE TO MAKE MY OWN BREAKFAST. 43 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:31,556 NOW I'M TOO TIRED TO EAT. 44 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:33,058 - ABSOLUTELY. 45 00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:34,159 CONSIDER IT DONE. 46 00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:36,161 I'LL STAY HERE ALL NIGHT IF I HAVE TO. 47 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:38,497 WE'RE JUST HAPPY TO BE IN BUSINESS WITH YOU. 48 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:39,898 BYE-BYE. 49 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:40,999 WHAT IS IT? 50 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:42,301 - THAT MR. O'NEILL IS ON THE LINE 51 00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:43,735 ABOUT THE PARENT-TEACHER MEETING. 52 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,403 I NEED TO KNOW WHICH EXCUSE TO GIVE. 53 00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:46,438 - HMM. 54 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,872 TELL HIM I HAVE TO DO MY PRO BONO WORK 55 00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:48,974 WITH THE FREE CLINIC. 56 00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,376 WE HAVEN'T USED THAT ONE IN A WHILE. 57 00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:52,411 WHAT? 58 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:53,845 YOU THINK I'M A ROTTEN MOTHER? 59 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,113 - I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT, HELEN. 60 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,248 - BUT YOU'D THINK IT. 61 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,449 - UM... 62 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,550 - WHAT? 63 00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,051 DO YOU AGREE WITH ME OR DON'T YOU? 64 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,853 - MAY I GO TO THE BATHROOM? 65 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,254 - COURSE, YOU CAN. 66 00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:05,390 WHAT KIND OF SLAVE SHIP YOU THINK WE'RE RUNNING HERE? 67 00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:08,260 [laughter] 68 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,427 STRANGE WOMAN. 69 00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:10,461 - OH, ERIC. 70 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,997 DID I TELL YOU WHAT A PRIVILEGE IT WAS 71 00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:14,132 TO WATCH YOU IN THAT MEETING THIS MORNING? 72 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,102 THE WAY YOU JUST REELED OFF THE TAX CODE WAS RIVETING. 73 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:18,203 - WHAT CAN I SAY? 74 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:19,538 YOU BUILD A TOP LAW FIRM; 75 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,706 YOU'RE BOUND TO PICK UP A FEW TRICKS ALONG THE WAY. 76 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,710 - WELL, ANYTHING I CAN DO TO KEEP THE FIRM NUMBER ONE, 77 00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:26,044 JUST LET ME KNOW. 78 00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:29,047 I'M NOT AFRAID OF A LITTLE HARD WORK OR A LOT. 79 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,282 - I KNOW YOU'RE NOT. 80 00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:31,817 THAT'S WHAT BRINGS ME IN HERE TODAY. 81 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:32,884 - THE RETREAT? 82 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,219 - IT'S YOUR TURN, HELEN. 83 00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:36,087 THE BIG DOGS THINK YOU'RE READY. 84 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,323 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 85 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,558 THE WHOLE FAMILY? 86 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,626 - WE WANT TO GET A LOOK AT HELEN MORGENDORFFER 87 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:45,363 WEARING ALL THREE HATS: WIFE, MOTHER, LAWYER. 88 00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:48,366 AND WHAT WE SEE JUST MIGHT LEAD TO HAT NUMBER FOUR: 89 00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:49,601 PARTNER. 90 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,903 - I HATE THE WAY I LOOK IN HATS. 91 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,838 [nervous giggle] 92 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,507 - A SPA? 93 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,042 GREAT. I NEED A FACIAL SO BAD. 94 00:02:58,044 --> 00:02:59,110 - DON'T GET EXCITED. 95 00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:01,379 THIS SAYS IT'S A SPA FOR THE SOUL. 96 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,281 DIDN'T YOU SELL YOURS A WHILE BACK? 97 00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:04,582 - WHO THE HELL IS PAYING FOR THIS? 98 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:05,684 DAMN IT. WHERE'S THE MILK? 99 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,619 - RELAX, JAKE. THE FIRM'S PAYING. 100 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:11,023 - "WE EXERCISE YOUR INSIDE INSTEAD OF YOUR OUTSIDE." 101 00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:13,792 GOOD, MY PANCREAS COULD REALLY USE A WORKOUT. 102 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:14,793 - EW! 103 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:15,993 WHAT GOOD IS EXERCISING 104 00:03:15,995 --> 00:03:17,662 IF YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE RESULTS? 105 00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:20,665 - QUINN, THIS IS ABOUT FAMILY TOGETHERNESS. 106 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,233 WE GET TO HAVE FUN 107 00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:24,570 WHILE I GET TO SHOW I'M PARTNER MATERIAL. 108 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:25,770 - I SEE. 109 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,438 WE'RE BEING GRADED ON OUR FAMILY LIFE. 110 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:28,840 GEE, LOOK AT THE TIME. 111 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,508 1984 ALREADY. 112 00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,010 - OH, DARIA, DON'T BE SILLY. 113 00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:33,912 NOW, WE HAVE TO FILL OUT THESE QUESTIONNAIRES 114 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,414 SO I CAN FAX THEM OVER. 115 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:38,116 ISN'T IT NICE THEY WANT TO GET TO KNOW US BEFORE WE ARRIVE? 116 00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,618 - SURE, SO THEY'LL KNOW WHO TO MAKE INTO A DRONE 117 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,120 AND WHO JUST TO KILL OUTRIGHT. 118 00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:45,690 - JAKE, I COULD USE SOME HELP HERE. 119 00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:48,326 - AH. 120 00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:50,328 WHAT? 121 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,864 - "WHICH ANIMAL WOULD YOU RATHER BE? 122 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:55,032 A DOG, A SEAL, OR A LION?" 123 00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:56,167 - HOW ABOUT A BAT? 124 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,502 - BAT'S NOT AN OPTION. 125 00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:58,737 - WRITE IT IN. 126 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,406 - NOW EXPLAIN YOUR CHOICE IN A BRIEF SENTENCE. 127 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,074 - I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SLEEP UPSIDE DOWN 128 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,342 AND SPREAD RABIES. 129 00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:06,845 - SOUNDS MORE LIKE IT SHOULD GO UNDER "CAREER GOALS," 130 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,112 BUT ALL RIGHT. 131 00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:10,414 - OKAY, WORLD, MEET JANE-CAM, 132 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,484 ALL JANE ALL THE TIME. 133 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,652 WELL, EXCEPT NAKED TIME. 134 00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:16,921 - YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE HAVING YOUR PICTURE TAKEN, 135 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,424 AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE STRANGERS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY 136 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,759 OBSERVING YOUR EVERY MOVE? 137 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:21,893 - ALL OVER THE WORLD. 138 00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,027 IT'S A PUBLIC SERVICE. 139 00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:24,296 IF MY MUNDANE LITTLE LIFE 140 00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,831 CAN SOMEHOW PROVIDE COMFORT TO LONELY WEB TROLLERS, 141 00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,901 THEN I'LL KNOW MY TIME HERE ON EARTH WASN'T WASTED. 142 00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,102 - A NOBLE CAUSE. 143 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,270 IT SUITS YOU WELL. 144 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,272 - AND IT REQUIRES PRACTICALLY NO EFFORT. 145 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,774 - THAT'S WHAT I MEANT. 146 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:36,974 - BEAUTIFUL. 147 00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:38,777 NOW, REMEMBER TO KEEP THIS OUR LITTLE SECRET. 148 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,780 I DON'T WANT THE CAMERA TO INFLUENCE MY GUESTS' BEHAVIOR. 149 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,448 DARIA? 150 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,383 - JAKE! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE. 151 00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:46,751 PLEASE STEP ON IT. 152 00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:47,752 - WHAT'S THE HURRY? 153 00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,854 WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME. 154 00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,856 SIT BACK AND SMELL THE ROSES. 155 00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:55,493 - WHICH HAPPEN TO HAVE AN AROMA VERY SIMILAR TO GAS FUMES. 156 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:56,495 - SIT BACK? 157 00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:59,498 HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? 158 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:03,135 - BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL TRYPTOPHANE. 159 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,902 - WE'LL SCORE THAT A "YES." 160 00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,137 - GIVE ME THAT. [tires squeal] 161 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,538 - DAD! 162 00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:08,740 - DAMN IT, HELEN! 163 00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:09,741 WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 164 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,109 - GET OUT. I'M DRIVING. 165 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,711 THINKING A LITTLE MILK IS GOING TO CALM YOU DOWN, 166 00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:14,779 THAT'S THE PROBLEM. 167 00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:19,050 OF ALL THE RIDICULOUS IDEAS... 168 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:22,887 GIVE ME THAT. 169 00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:26,191 - NOW, REMEMBER, NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS. 170 00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:27,225 - UH-OH. 171 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,693 FOUR FLEW INTO THE CUCKOO'S NEST. 172 00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:31,463 - HELLO, I'M HELEN MORGENDORFFER. 173 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:32,931 THIS IS MY HUSBAND, JAKE, 174 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,966 AND MY DAUGHTERS, QUINN AND DARIA. 175 00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,801 - OH, SO YOU'RE DARIA. 176 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,269 - YOU'VE HEARD OF ME? 177 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,439 - DARIA, WE HAVE A VERY NICE ROOM FOR YOU. 178 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:41,940 DO YOU LIKE EGGSHELL WHITE? 179 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,076 - YOU GOT ANYTHING IN GYM MAT GRAY? 180 00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:46,511 - EXCUSE ME, BUT WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 181 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,480 - WE ANALYZED YOUR DAUGHTER'S QUESTIONNAIRE, 182 00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:51,049 AND, WELL, WE'RE A LITTLE CONCERNED. 183 00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,617 - "FAVORITE PASTIME: 184 00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,386 CHANGING WATER INTO WINE"? 185 00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,888 - I KNEW I SHOULD'VE GONE WITH THE BURNING BUSH. 186 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,723 - WE THINK IT MIGHT BE BEST TO PUT HER 187 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:02,060 UNDER A LITTLE THING WE CALL "INTENSIVE OBSERVATION." 188 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,127 - IT'S ABOUT TIME. 189 00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:04,262 - WAIT A MINUTE. 190 00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:05,664 THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH DARIA. 191 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:06,898 - YEAH, SHE'S ALWAYS LIKE THIS. 192 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,066 - QUINN! 193 00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,068 OUR DAUGHTER HAS AN ECCENTRIC SENSE OF HUMOR, 194 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,536 BUT SHE'S PERFECTLY FINE. 195 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:12,804 - DON'T LISTEN TO HER. 196 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,639 SHE'S ONE OF THE GAMMA PEOPLE. 197 00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,808 - DOCTORS, I THINK WE GOT OUR HOPES UP. 198 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,109 BETTER LEAVE THIS ONE ALONE. 199 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,544 - CAN'T WE AT LEAST SEDATE HER? 200 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:20,545 - SORRY. 201 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,612 - [sighs] 202 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,381 - THIS IS GONNA BE FUN. 203 00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,718 - ♪ LA, LA-LA ♪ 204 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,987 ♪ LA-LA, LA-LA ♪ 205 00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,322 ♪ LA-LA, LA-LA ♪ 206 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:32,290 ♪ LA-LA ♪ 207 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,761 [keys clacking] 208 00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,763 [jazzy electronic music] 209 00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:42,267 ♪ ♪ 210 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:43,535 - A LITTLE WIDER. 211 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:47,572 WE CAN'T SEE ALL YOUR FILLINGS. 212 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,806 NICE SAVE. 213 00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:49,807 - HELLO, DARIA. 214 00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:51,309 I'M YOUR ONE-ON-ONE COUNSELOR. 215 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,610 ARE YOU PLAYING A GAME? 216 00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,612 - NO, JUST TALKING TO THE COMPUTER. 217 00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,681 - DO YOU ALWAYS TALK TO YOUR COMPUTER? 218 00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:59,350 - ONLY WHEN THE REFRIGERATOR'S MAD AT ME. 219 00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,785 - AH, YOU KNOW, DARIA, 220 00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:02,320 WE OFTEN USE HUMOR AS A BARRIER 221 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,889 TO PREVENT OTHERS FROM TRYING TO GET TOO CLOSE. 222 00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:07,426 - IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE WORKING ON YOU, HOWEVER. 223 00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:08,794 - WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE? 224 00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:09,828 - NOTHING. 225 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,329 I LOVE MY MOTHER VERY MUCH 226 00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,799 AND FEEL THAT SHE'D MAKE AN EXCELLENT LAW PARTNER. 227 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:14,800 OH, DEAR. 228 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,301 I THINK I HEAR MY RIDE. 229 00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,904 - DARIA, WHY DON'T WE HAVE A NICE TALK? 230 00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:20,839 - [sighs] 231 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,240 - ALL RIGHT, HELEN. 232 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:25,076 I THOUGHT WE MIGHT START OFF WITH A LITTLE WORD ASSOCIATION. 233 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:26,077 RED. - BLUE. 234 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,946 - PEN. - PENCIL. 235 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:28,980 - MAG-- - SUBSCRIPTION. 236 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,148 - MAGNET. 237 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,217 - OH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY "MAGAZINE." 238 00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:33,218 MAGNET. 239 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,485 UM, METAL. 240 00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:35,520 NO, WAIT. I CAN DO BETTER. 241 00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:36,854 - RELAX. - RELAX? 242 00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:39,357 HOW CAN I RELAX WHEN SOMEONE SAYS "RELAX" LIKE THAT? 243 00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,192 - NO. "RELAXATION." 244 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:42,194 IT'S ONE OF THE WORDS. 245 00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:44,996 - OH, UM, WASTE OF FREAKING TIME. 246 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,998 WAIT! CAN I DO THAT ONE OVER? 247 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,735 - ISN'T SOMEONE GONNA TALK HERE? 248 00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:51,802 - ALL RIGHT. 249 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,271 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT BEING HERE? 250 00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:54,939 - HEY, IT'S NOT MY NICKEL. 251 00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:56,307 - WOULD THAT BE A PROBLEM? 252 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,076 - WELL, CONSIDERING THIS IS A WORK THING FOR MY WIFE... 253 00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:00,778 - AND HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? 254 00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:02,113 - HOW DOES WHAT MAKE ME FEEL? 255 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,282 - BEING HERE FOR YOUR WIFE. 256 00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,283 - FINE. 257 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,284 - REALLY? 258 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:07,586 - A-OKAY. 259 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:08,587 - HOW LONG-- 260 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,654 - I'M FINE WITH IT. DAMN IT! 261 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,956 - ALL RIGHT. MOVING ON. 262 00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:13,024 ARE YOU FEELING A LITTLE STRESSED? 263 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,325 - STRESSED? 264 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,895 WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME I'M STRESSED? 265 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,329 IF I WEREN'T STRESSED, 266 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,799 I'D GET STRESSED BY EVERYONE TELLING ME I'M STRESSED! 267 00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:23,802 ANY MILK AROUND HERE? I NEED SOME MILK. 268 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,069 - UH-HUH. 269 00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:27,806 HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THIS CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY? 270 00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,274 - AND SOMETIMES CONDITIONERS 271 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,641 ARE REALLY MORE LIKE CREAM RINSES 272 00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:32,476 AND CREAM RINSES ARE MORE LIKE CONDITIONERS, 273 00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,212 BUT YOU NEVER KNOW UNTIL AFTER YOU TRY THEM, 274 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,780 AND BY THEN, IT'S TOO LATE. 275 00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:37,248 OF COURSE, THAT JUST ADDS 276 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,517 TO ALL THE PRESSURE I'M ALREADY UNDER. 277 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,052 I MEAN, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE 278 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,720 ALL THE DECISIONS I HAVE TO MAKE. 279 00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:44,923 I WAKE UP FEELING LIKE IT'S A FLAT SHOE DAY, 280 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,390 BUT THEN AFTER I BRUSH MY TEETH, 281 00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:48,226 IT STARTS TO FEEL MORE LIKE A SANDAL DAY, 282 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,460 AND YOU CAN'T JUST GO ON 283 00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,229 WHAT YOU'RE GONNA BE WEARING ON YOUR FEET... 284 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,431 - MOM'S RESENTFUL THAT SHE HAS TO WORK SO HARD, 285 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:54,498 WHICH OBSCURES HER GUILT 286 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,535 ABOUT ACTUALLY WANTING TO WORK SO HARD. 287 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,904 DAD'S GUILTY ABOUT BEING LESS DRIVEN THAN MOM 288 00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,539 BUT THINKS IT'S WRONG TO FEEL THAT WAY. 289 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:03,441 SO HE HIDES BEHIND A SMOKESCREEN OF CLUELESSNESS. 290 00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:05,877 QUINN WEARS SUPERFICIALITY LIKE A SUIT OF ARMOR, 291 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,679 'CAUSE SHE'S AFRAID OF LOOKING INSIDE 292 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,214 AND FINDING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. 293 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,583 AND I'M SO DEFENDED THAT I ACTIVELY WORK 294 00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:12,817 TO MAKE PEOPLE DISLIKE ME 295 00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,552 SO I WON'T FEEL BAD WHEN THEY DO. 296 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,553 CAN I GO NOW? 297 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,554 - TELL ME, DARIA. 298 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,690 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HYPNOTIZED? 299 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,424 - AND THEN SANDI WENT OUT 300 00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:22,426 AND GOT THE SAME SHOES THAT I HAD FIRST-- 301 00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:24,462 THE CUTE LITTLE T-STRAPS WITH THE GLITTER BUCKLE-- 302 00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:27,566 AND STACEY'S LIKE, "SANDI, I LOVE YOUR SANDALS," 303 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,601 LIKE SANDI HAD SUCH GREAT TASTE OR SOMETHING 304 00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:30,969 WHEN ALL SHE DID WAS COPY ME. 305 00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,237 I MEAN, EVERYONE KNOWS 306 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,506 I WROTE THE BOOK ON STRAPPY SANDALS AT LAWNDALE, 307 00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:35,840 NOT AN ACTUAL BOOK, OF COURSE. 308 00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:38,343 THAT WOULD MAKE ME SOME KIND OF AN EGGHEAD FREAK. 309 00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,712 WHO DO I TALK TO AROUND HERE TO SCHEDULE A FACIAL? 310 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,112 - [snores] 311 00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:44,014 - DON'T BE AFRAID. DON'T WORRY TO BE HYPNOTIZED. 312 00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:46,618 - EXCUSE ME. I THINK I HEAR AN ACCENT. 313 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:49,554 WHITE SHOES. EW. 314 00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:52,457 - YOU ARE SAFE AND WARM IN YOUR SECURE COCOON. 315 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,526 JUST THINK OF YOUR FAVORITE PLACE. 316 00:09:54,528 --> 00:09:55,927 - ANYWHERE BUT HERE. 317 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:56,994 - AHA. 318 00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:58,229 - EXCUSE ME, BUT WE'RE WORKING. 319 00:09:58,231 --> 00:09:59,831 - WHY DO YOU GET THE FRENCH GUY? 320 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,333 - YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. 321 00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:02,534 YOU TAKE HIM. 322 00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:04,001 I'M GOING TO MY COCOON NOW. 323 00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,002 - WAIT, DARIA. 324 00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:06,003 WHO ARE YOU? 325 00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:08,640 - I'M QUINN, DARIA'S TRAINER. 326 00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:10,008 - NOW, THAT'S HEALTHY. 327 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,210 - I WAS JUST TRYING TO HYPNOTIZE DARIA 328 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,412 IN ORDER TO TRANSCEND HER RESISTANCE. 329 00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,714 - OH, CAN I WATCH? 330 00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:18,716 - YOU ARE SAFE AND CALM, 331 00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,684 FEELING A WARM GENTLE BREEZE. 332 00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:23,021 EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY IS RELAXING. 333 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,856 EASY. EASY. 334 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,290 AT THE COUNT OF TEN, 335 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,125 YOU WILL TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU'RE FEELING 336 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,361 WITH NO RESISTANCE. 337 00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:32,464 - OH, CAESAR, PLEASE, DON'T POISON ME. 338 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:33,598 I COULD LOVE YOU, 339 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,267 BUT THOSE TOGAS MAKE YOUR BUTT LOOK SO BIG. 340 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,435 - OH, GOD. 341 00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:38,836 - AND WHAT'S WITH THAT HEADBAND? 342 00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:40,972 OLIVE LEAVES ARE SO B.C. 343 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,407 - IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S EXPERIENCING 344 00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:43,708 A PAST LIFE REGRESSION. 345 00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:45,543 - YOU'VE GOT THE REGRESSION PART RIGHT. 346 00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,278 - HELP, SOMEONE HELP ME! 347 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,114 SOME KING WANTS TO KILL ME FOR LOVING SOME SOLDIER 348 00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:51,482 OR SOMETHING BEFORE I'VE HAD TIME 349 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:54,118 TO PASS ON MY SECRET FORMULA FOR EYE LINER. 350 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,555 OH, CAESAR, YOU BIG IDIOT, DO SOMETHING! 351 00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,457 - IMPRESSIVE GRASP OF HISTORY, 352 00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,992 BUT SHE FORGOT THE PART WHERE THEY ALL BOARD NOAH'S ARK 353 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:03,627 FOR A CARIBBEAN CRUISE. 354 00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:05,463 - DARIA, I WAS AFRAID YOU HAD SOME 355 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:06,764 RATHER DEEP-SEATED PROBLEMS. 356 00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:08,066 BUT I MUST SAY, 357 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:10,402 YOU'RE REMARKABLY WELL-ADJUSTED...CONSIDERING. 358 00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:11,569 - YOU'D THINK SOMEONE 359 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,571 WOULD'VE INVENTED EYE LINER BEFORE ME. 360 00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:15,339 BUT NO, I, CLEOPATRA, 361 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:18,476 HAVE TO COME UP WITH ALL MY BEAUTY PRODUCTS ON MY OWN. 362 00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,412 [gasps] WHAT A HARD LIFE. 363 00:11:20,414 --> 00:11:23,147 - AT THE COUNT OF TEN, I WILL SNAP MY FINGERS 364 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:25,683 AND HOPEFULLY REMEMBER NONE OF THIS. 365 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,552 - ♪ LA, LA-LA ♪ 366 00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,954 ♪ LA-LA, LA-LA ♪ 367 00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:31,222 ♪ LA-LA, LA-LA ♪ 368 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:39,864 - WELL, I GUESS THIS BEATS THE DENTAL FLOSS. 369 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,332 DON'T PICK YOUR NOSE. 370 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:42,467 DON'T PICK YOUR NOSE. 371 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,135 - HEY, WHERE'S JEAN-MICHEL? 372 00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,536 - I THINK HE'S IN HIS OFFICE, 373 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,304 SHOWING INKBLOTS TO MARK ANTONY. 374 00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:50,041 - WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY PATIENTS? 375 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:53,344 - HELEN, JAKE, LET'S TAKE THIS TIME TO EXPLORE 376 00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:54,946 SOME OF YOUR LIFE PARTNER ISSUES. 377 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,247 - ISSUES? 378 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,049 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT ISSUES, THIS WHOLE-- 379 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,383 - NOW CALM DOWN, JAKE. 380 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,885 WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE. 381 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,187 I'M SURE OUR ISSUES AREN'T ANY MORE SERIOUS 382 00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:05,590 THAN ANY OTHER HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL WORKING COUPLES. 383 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:06,891 - THAT'S WHAT I MEAN. 384 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,060 - RIGHT, OUR ISSUES AREN'T ANY MORE SERIOUS. 385 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,562 - WHY DON'T WE FIND OUT? 386 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,397 JAKE, HOW ARE YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW? 387 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,798 - ACTUALLY, I'M-- 388 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,667 - BECAUSE OUR COMMITMENT TO EACH OTHER IS SO STRONG. 389 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:17,669 - DAMN IT, HELEN! 390 00:12:17,671 --> 00:12:18,869 SHE'S ALWAYS INTERRUPTING ME 391 00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:20,471 LIKE MY OPINIONS DON'T COUNT. 392 00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:21,673 - BUT YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. 393 00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:23,341 - HELEN, PLEASE LET HIM FINISH. 394 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,341 - YEAH. 395 00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:25,342 - SORRY. 396 00:12:25,344 --> 00:12:29,480 - OKAY. WELL, UM... 397 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:30,548 THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO SAY. 398 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,949 - DOCTOR, I-- 399 00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:33,984 - SHE THINKS JUST BECAUSE SHE'S THE BIG FAT LAWYER 400 00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:35,153 SHE CAN RUN RIGHT OVER ME. 401 00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:36,354 - WHAT JAKE MEANS IS-- 402 00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,022 - HELEN, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT JAKE NOW. 403 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:39,657 WE'LL GET TO YOUR CONTROL ISSUES SOON. 404 00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:41,526 - CONTROL ISSUES? 405 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:42,527 - DAMN STRAIGHT. 406 00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:43,528 SHE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO, 407 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:44,763 HOW TO DRIVE, WHAT TO EAT. 408 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:47,065 SHE WON'T EVEN LET ME DRINK MILK IF I WANT TO, 409 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,833 INNOCENT, PURE MILK. 410 00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:49,834 GOT MILK? 411 00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:51,536 NOT JAKEY. DAMN IT. 412 00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,370 - EXCELLENT, JAKE, EXCELLENT. 413 00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:54,438 - OH, FOR THE LOVE OF-- 414 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,773 - HELEN, PLEASE. 415 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,442 - HEY, I SUDDENLY FEEL LIGHTER. 416 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:01,212 THIS THERAPY STUFF REALLY WORKS. 417 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,447 - MAYBE I DO USE FOOD FOR COMFORT, 418 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,615 BUT AT LEAST A CHOCOLATE BAR 419 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,584 NEVER TOLD ME I WAS AN ACCIDENT. 420 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,519 - WHAT DID THE CHOCOLATE BAR SAY TO YOU? 421 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:09,787 - JEAN-MICHEL? 422 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,190 I WANT TO DO MORE OF THAT PAST LIFE REPRESSION. 423 00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:13,791 - QUINN, THIS IS A PRIVATE SESSION. 424 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,027 WE'RE DISCUSSING A VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM. 425 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,795 - OH. A PROBLEM? 426 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,697 HAVE YOU CONSIDERED VERTICAL STRIPES? 427 00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:22,200 THEY'RE A LOT MORE SLIMMING THAN POLKA-DOTS. 428 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,634 - QUINN, OUT NOW. 429 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:24,902 - OKAY. 430 00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:28,573 - WAIT, TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE VERTICAL STRIPES. 431 00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:29,741 [keys clacking] 432 00:13:29,743 --> 00:13:31,242 - COULD A STEADY DIET OF PET FOOD 433 00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,977 BRING OUT THE ANIMAL IN YOU? 434 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,745 GOT A DOG DISH FULL OF LOVE, 435 00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,648 TONIGHT ON SICK, SAD WORLD. 436 00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:39,651 - DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. 437 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:42,253 - WOW, LISTEN TO HIM REPEAT THE SAME PHRASE 438 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,421 OVER AND OVER AGAIN WITHOUT FALLING ASLEEP. 439 00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:47,291 - WIGGLE YOUR BUTT AND LIP-SYNCH AT THE SAME TIME? 440 00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:48,993 THAT'S STAR POWER, BABY. 441 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:52,864 - OH, YEAH? 442 00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,365 - OH, NO. 443 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,699 OH, GOD. 444 00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:57,635 THIS IS TOO PAINFUL. 445 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:06,177 OH, LOOK, DEAR, THE KRAVITZES ARE HERE. 446 00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:13,318 - WOW, WHAT SHOW WAS THAT? 447 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,852 - ALL RIGHT, MORGENDORFFERS. 448 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,288 I'VE ANALYZED THE DATA FROM YOUR INDIVIDUAL SESSIONS, 449 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,089 AND I REALIZE WHAT WE NEED TO DO. 450 00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:20,725 - FINALLY, FACIALS. 451 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,226 - ACTUALLY, I THINK WE NEED 452 00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:24,329 TO WEAR EACH OTHERS' FACES FOR A WHILE. 453 00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:25,596 - EW! 454 00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,665 LIKE THAT MOVIE WITH THAT GUY AND THAT OTHER GUY? 455 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,033 - CAN I DO THE SURGERY? 456 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,267 - NO, NO, NO. 457 00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:32,303 I'M TALKING ABOUT A LITTLE ROLE-PLAYING. 458 00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:34,238 - I'LL PLAY THE ROLE OF THE CRAZED SURGEON. 459 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,406 SCALPEL. 460 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,208 - WHY DON'T YOU TRY BEING EACH OTHER? 461 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,376 - [groans] 462 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,478 - DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT, HELEN? 463 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,113 - I THINK SHE WAS STILL BEING DARIA. 464 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:43,948 - WELL, WHY DON'T YOU BE DARIA? 465 00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:45,316 - OH, GOD. 466 00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,618 JUST THROW ME IN FRONT OF A TRAIN, WHY DON'T YOU? 467 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:48,752 - OH, COME ON. 468 00:14:48,754 --> 00:14:50,488 IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD. GIVE IT A TRY. 469 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:51,855 - I JUST DID. 470 00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:52,856 - OH. 471 00:14:52,858 --> 00:14:54,659 - I AM NOT SUICIDAL. 472 00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:55,859 - ALL RIGHT, DARIA. 473 00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:56,994 NOW CAN YOU BE QUINN? 474 00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:59,596 - OKAY. NOW I'M SUICIDAL. 475 00:14:59,598 --> 00:15:01,933 - MAYBE THE GROWN-UPS CAN LEAD THE WAY HERE. 476 00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:03,935 HELEN AND JAKE, GO ON. 477 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:05,103 SWITCHEROO. 478 00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,905 - UM, GEE, I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS. 479 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,374 WELL, I'LL GIVE IT A TRY. 480 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,042 [clears throat] 481 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,577 [as Helen] OH, HI, ERIC! 482 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:14,913 NOPE, JUST WALKED IN. 483 00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,614 THOUGHT I'D MAKE DINNER FOR MY--WHAT? 484 00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:17,782 YOU HAVE A HANGNAIL? 485 00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:19,050 I'LL BE RIGHT OVER. 486 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,319 - [laughs nervously] 487 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,154 - UH-UH-UH, JAKE. 488 00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,922 - I MEAN, DAMN IT! 489 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,590 I LOST ANOTHER CLIENT. 490 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,926 I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY. DAMN IT. 491 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,929 NOBODY LIKES POOR OLD JAKE. 492 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,263 SHOULD I THINK ABOUT THE REASONS? 493 00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,699 OH, MUST BE MY FATHER'S FAULT. 494 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,366 WHERE'S THE NEWSPAPER? DAMN IT. 495 00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:37,368 [snores] 496 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,535 - LOOK AT THE TIME. 497 00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:40,104 GEE, DEAR, YOU'LL HAVE TO TELL ME ABOUT 498 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,106 YOUR DEEPEST FEARS AND WORRIES WHEN I GET BACK. 499 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,042 I'VE GOT A BIG MEETING, SO I BETTER RUN. 500 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,810 - NO MATTER, I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING RELEVANT ANYWAY. 501 00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:49,814 I'M LOST IN A FOG WHEN I'M NOT FLYING INTO A RAGE. 502 00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:50,815 - OH, JAKEY. 503 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:51,916 LET ME BRING HOME A PIZZA. 504 00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:53,351 I HAVE TO BE THE ONE DOING EVERYTHING 505 00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:54,519 SO EVERYONE WILL THANK ME 506 00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,421 AND TELL ME WHAT A BIG SUPERWOMAN I AM. 507 00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,423 I'M VERY, VERY IMPORTANT AND VERY, VERY STRESSED, 508 00:15:58,425 --> 00:15:59,424 AND I DON'T HAVE TIME 509 00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:01,058 TO ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING FOR ANYONE ELSE, 510 00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:03,761 BUT I CAN PRETEND I CARE, CAN'T I? 511 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,663 [sighs] 512 00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:11,435 - EVERYBODY HATES ME. 513 00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:13,371 - ARE YOU BEING DARIA NOW? 514 00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:14,505 - STAY WITH IT, EVERYONE. 515 00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,107 THIS IS GOOD STUFF. 516 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,742 - I'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING I'VE GOT, 517 00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,644 BUT IT'S JUST NOT ENOUGH. 518 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,480 WELL, I'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE. 519 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,148 - HELEN! HELEN, WAIT! 520 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,616 - THAT WORKED WELL. 521 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:28,219 - QUINN, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT JUST HAPPENED? 522 00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:30,388 - I THINK THIS SPA WOULD GET A LOT MORE BUSINESS 523 00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,189 IF YOU JUST OFFERED FACIALS. 524 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:34,658 - OH. 525 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,560 - UM, MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 526 00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:40,164 - OH, I THOUGHT I'D JUST WAIT IN THE CAR UNTIL WE LEAVE. 527 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,699 - TOMORROW MORNING? 528 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:44,868 - WELL, AT LEAST I WOULDN'T BE ABANDONING OR IGNORING ANYONE 529 00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:46,537 OR RUINING THEIR LIVES. 530 00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:47,839 - OH, COME ON, MOM. 531 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,007 - LOOK WHAT I'VE DONE TO MY FAMILY. 532 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,977 YOUR FATHER FEELS COMPLETELY NEGLECTED AND RESENTFUL. 533 00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,579 I'VE SHUT YOU OUT SO MANY TIMES 534 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,381 YOU DON'T EVEN TRY TO TALK TO ME, 535 00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,416 AND QUINN, WELL, I CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT 536 00:16:58,418 --> 00:16:59,851 WHAT HAPPENED THERE, NOT RIGHT NOW. 537 00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,018 OH, MY GOD, DARIA. 538 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,253 YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT. 539 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,689 - DIDN'T HEAR A THING. 540 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:05,689 - DARIA. 541 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:06,857 - LOOK, MOM. 542 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,593 DAD HAS TO FEEL NEGLECTED. 543 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,661 IT'S HOW HE STAYS THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. 544 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,396 AND THE REASON I DON'T TALK TO YOU 545 00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:14,398 IS THAT I KNOW YOU'LL HANG ON MY EVERY WORD, 546 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,134 AND FRANKLY, WHO NEEDS THAT KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY? 547 00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:19,270 AND AS FOR QUINN, WELL, 548 00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,371 I CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THERE. 549 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,440 - [laughs] OH, MY. 550 00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:25,843 - SO YOU GET CARRIED AWAY WITH THE JOB. 551 00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:26,944 BIG DEAL. 552 00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:28,612 YOU'RE JUST AS COMMITTED TO THE FAMILY. 553 00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,214 - I TRY TO BE. 554 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,382 - YOU'RE VERY GROUNDED. 555 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,050 IT'S WHY YOU'RE HALF-CRAZY. 556 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,953 - YOU REALLY DON'T HATE ME FOR WORKING SO HARD? 557 00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,221 - I CAME TO THIS STUPID PLACE 558 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,856 AND PRETENDED TO BE WELL-ADJUSTED, DIDN'T I? 559 00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:41,024 - HMM. 560 00:17:41,026 --> 00:17:43,660 - WELL, ANYWAY. I CAME TO THIS STUPID PLACE. 561 00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:44,761 - HELEN! HELEN! 562 00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:45,996 THANK GOD I FOUND YOU! 563 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,365 LOOK, HELEN, ABOUT THAT SUPERWOMAN STUFF, 564 00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:51,002 THAT WASN'T ME; THAT WAS THE MILK TALKING. 565 00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:52,236 - NO, JAKE. 566 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,304 WE BOTH SAID SOME THINGS IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT. 567 00:17:54,306 --> 00:17:55,305 RIGHT? 568 00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:57,307 - RIGHT. 569 00:17:57,309 --> 00:17:58,776 UM, WHAT'D YOU SAY AGAIN? 570 00:17:58,778 --> 00:17:59,777 - NEVER MIND. 571 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:00,912 FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, 572 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,180 WE'RE LEAVING, AND I'LL DRIVE. 573 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:03,514 I DON'T LIKE WHAT THAT MILK'S DONE 574 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:04,715 TO YOUR ACCELERATION, 575 00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,317 NOT TO MENTION WHAT IT'S PROBABLY DOING 576 00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,384 TO YOUR CHOLESTEROL. 577 00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:09,386 - CHOLESTEROL? MILK HAS CHOLESTEROL? 578 00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:11,088 DAMN IT, HELEN! HOW COULD YOU LET ME-- 579 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,956 - HEY, WHAT'S EVERYONE DOING OUT HERE? 580 00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:14,791 - SHARING A WARM FAMILY MOMENT. 581 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,126 - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 582 00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:17,961 I CAN TAKE A HINT. 583 00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:20,030 - LOOK, ERIC, ABOUT THAT RETREAT. 584 00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:21,966 - TOO LATE, I'VE ALREADY READ THE RESULTS. 585 00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,400 "HELEN MORGENDORFFER SUFFERS FROM 586 00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:25,002 "OVERARCHING COMPETITIVE AGGRESSION, 587 00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:26,370 "UNHEALTHY SELF-INVOLVEMENT, 588 00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:28,506 "A GROSS INSENSITIVITY TO OTHERS' NEEDS, 589 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,741 AND AN OVERRIDING CONVICTION THAT SHE IS ALWAYS RIGHT." 590 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:33,176 - I THINK WHAT THE COUNSELORS ARE TRYING TO SAY IS-- 591 00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:34,178 - NEVER MIND. 592 00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,846 WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS 593 00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,515 CONGRATULATIONS. 594 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,684 YOU'RE BEING PUT ON THE PARTNERSHIP FAST TRACK. 595 00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:40,684 - I AM? 596 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,086 - OF COURSE. 597 00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:44,555 THIS WILLINGNESS OF YOURS TO PUT CAREER AHEAD OF FAMILY AND HOME 598 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,891 IS JUST THE STICK-TO-IT-IVENESS WE LOOK FOR IN A PARTNER. 599 00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:49,093 COME ON. 600 00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:52,029 LET'S GO TO THAT HEARING AND KICK SOME WUSSY ASS. 601 00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:55,899 I HEARD THEIR LEAD ATTORNEY TOOK PATERNITY LEAVE LAST YEAR. 602 00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:56,900 HA! 603 00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:59,036 - [laughs and sighs] 604 00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,837 - THE WAY I SEE IT, 605 00:19:00,839 --> 00:19:03,607 THE FAILURE OF JANE-CAM SPEAKS TO THE INABILITY 606 00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,642 OF THE MOST SOPHISTICATED TECHNOLOGY 607 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:08,412 TO SUPPLANT THE MOST BASIC HUMAN EMOTIONS. 608 00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:10,581 - IN OTHER WORDS, THE INABILITY OF TOM 609 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:13,417 TO APPRECIATE THE VIOLATION OF HIS PRIVACY? 610 00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:14,818 - YOU SAW THAT? 611 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,486 - NOT JUST ME, THE WORLD. 612 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,088 - NOT QUITE THE WORLD. 613 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,857 JANE-CAM ONLY GOT EIGHT HITS THE WHOLE TIME, 614 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:20,924 AND YOU WERE THREE OF THEM. 615 00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:22,927 - IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL. 616 00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:24,728 - CHIM-CHIMINEY, CHIM-CHIMINEY. 617 00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,964 - YOU AND TOM HAVE MADE UP, NO DOUBT. 618 00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,532 - WE DID, UNTIL HE READ THE FAN MAIL. 619 00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:29,767 - YOU GOT FAN MAIL? 620 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:32,336 - WELL, TOM DID, FROM SOME INMATES. 621 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,538 HE WASN'T PLEASED. 622 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:36,073 - FIGURES, HE MAKES ONE LOUSY VIDEO 623 00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:39,142 AND THEN FORGETS THE PEOPLE WHO MADE HIM NUMBER ONE. 624 00:19:39,144 --> 00:19:40,811 - THAT'S DISGUSTING. 625 00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,547 CHOCOLATE CAKE FOR BREAKFAST? 626 00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:44,182 - IT'S TOO EARLY FOR LUNCH. 627 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,651 - DAD, AREN'T YOU GONNA SAY ANYTHING? 628 00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:49,586 - WHAT THE HELL IS SODIUM HEXAMETAPHOSPHATE? 629 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,322 - MORNING. GOTTA GO. 630 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,157 BIG MEETING OF THE FUTURE PARTNERS. 631 00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:55,759 - THANKS, BUT I COULDN'T EAT ANOTHER BITE. 632 00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:57,929 THE PANCAKES SURE WERE SCRUMPTIOUS, THOUGH. 633 00:19:57,931 --> 00:19:59,063 - HEY! 634 00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:01,065 HOW COME I DIDN'T GET ANY PANCAKES? 635 00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:03,000 - ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪ 636 00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:20,551 ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪ 637 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:25,389 ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪ 638 00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:27,991 ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪ 639 00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:39,470 ♪ LA-LA, LA-LA, LA ♪ 640 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,175 ♪ LA-LA, LA-LA, LA ♪