1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:03,168
- ♪ LA, LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
2
00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:05,104
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
3
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[engine grinding]
4
00:00:10,845 --> 00:00:13,411
- IT'S LEGAL AND TENDER,
5
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:15,514
BUT SOMEONE'S
GETTING SHORTCHANGED.
6
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,883
LITTLE CROSS-DRESSERS
AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM
7
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:19,785
COMING UP NEXT
ON SICK SAD WORLD.
8
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,753
- IF THAT WOMAN
WERE JUDY GARLAND,
9
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:24,089
THIS MIGHT MAKE SENSE
ON A COUPLE OF LEVELS.
10
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- COME ON, START!
11
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MOVE!
12
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YOU'RE A CAR;
THAT'S WHAT YOU DO!
13
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THAT'S ALL YOU DO!
14
00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:30,695
NOW, DO IT.
15
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:34,233
- AH, THE ETERNAL STRUGGLE
BETWEEN MAN AND MACHINE.
16
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- AND THIS TIME,
IT'S PERSONAL.
17
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[telephone rings]
18
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:38,836
- HELLO.
19
00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:41,106
- YOU'RE NOTHING BUT
A DAMN RADIO WITH DOORS.
20
00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:44,443
- NO, DAD AND HIS INNER CHILD
ARE PLAYING IN THE DRIVEWAY.
21
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,945
- BUT HE'S SUPPOSED
TO PICK US UP AT THE MALL.
22
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:49,247
- HE'S DISCUSSING THAT
WITH THE CAR RIGHT NOW,
23
00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:52,016
BUT THE CARS SEEMS TO BE SAYING,
"YOU'RE TAKING THE BUS."
24
00:00:52,018 --> 00:00:53,217
- THE WHAT?
- THE BUS.
25
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IT'S LIKE A BIGGER CAR,
26
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:57,556
ONLY WITH OLD MEN SLEEPING
SITTING UP.
27
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AT LEAST I HOPE
THEY'RE SLEEPING.
28
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- HELLO.
HELLO?
29
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:04,563
GREAT, THE PHONE'S DEAD.
30
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,365
- SO WHEN IS YOUR FATHER
GONNA PICK US UP?
31
00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:07,433
- HE'S NOT.
32
00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:09,568
UM, SOMEONE SAID
WE HAVE TO TAKE THE BUS.
33
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:13,939
- QUINN, NO OFFENSE OR ANYTHING,
BUT HUMOR IS NOT YOUR FORTE.
34
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:16,508
- SANDI,
I WOULD NEVER JOKE
35
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ABOUT TAKING
PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION.
36
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SOME THINGS JUST AREN'T FUNNY.
37
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:23,682
- I CAN'T BELIEVE NO GUY
WOULD GIVE US A RIDE.
38
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,083
- MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T
MAKE THEM WAIT
39
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,785
IN THE CAR ANYMORE
WHILE WE SHOP.
40
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:29,087
REMEMBER LAST SUMMER WHEN JEFFY
GOT ALL DEHYDRATED,
41
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,956
AND HIS TONGUE WAS HANGING OUT
AND STUFF?
42
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,591
WELL, YEAH...
43
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:35,561
- GUYS,
I THINK THE BUS IS THIS WAY.
44
00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:38,530
- BUT I TOLD HELEN
I'D PICK QUINN UP.
45
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,465
NOW SHE'LL NEVER TRUST ME
TO DO ANYTHING AGAIN.
46
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,067
"I'LL PICK UP QUINN, JAKE.
47
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:43,502
"YOU'LL JUST FORGET.
48
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,069
"STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN, JAKE.
49
00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:46,605
"YOU'LL JUST BREAK THE STOVE.
50
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,907
"DON'T POLISH
YOUR FATHER'S BOOTS, JAKE.
51
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:51,176
YOU HAVEN'T EARNED
THE DAMN RIGHT."
52
00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:52,878
- HE'S NOT GONNA START LOOKING
FOR WIRETAPS
53
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,345
UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS,
IS HE?
54
00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:56,949
- NO, I THINK
SPEAKING IN TONGUES IS NEXT.
55
00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:58,283
- AND WHAT IF QUINN GETS LOST?
56
00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,351
IT WILL BE MY FAULT.
57
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,053
IT'S ALWAYS MY FAULT.
58
00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:03,888
- AS LONG AS SHE GETS LOST
WITH THE FASHION CLUB,
59
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:04,956
I DON'T SEE THE PROBLEM.
60
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,725
- SHALLOW GRAVES
FOR SHALLOW PEOPLE.
61
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,126
- WELL, I'LL SHOW HELEN.
62
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,395
I'LL PICK UP QUINN
AND MAKE THE LASAGNA.
63
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:12,431
WHEN JAKE MORGENDORFFER
SAYS HE'LL DO SOMETHING,
64
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,433
HE DOS IT--I MEAN, DOES IT,
DAMN IT.
65
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,067
DARIA, IF I DON'T COME BACK,
66
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,136
REMEMBER TO TAKE THE PLASTIC LID
OFF THE LASAGNA
67
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,405
IF YOU COOK IT
IN A CONVENTIONAL OVEN.
68
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:23,175
- OH, FATHER,
DON'T EVEN THINK SUCH THINGS.
69
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ARE YOU GIVING QUINN
A RIDE HOME ON PIGGYBACK
70
00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:26,844
OR TAKING THE HORSE?
71
00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:29,414
- THAT'S RIGHT, DAMN IT,
NO CAR.
72
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,617
- WAIT, TRENT'S GOT A CAR...
SORT OF.
73
00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,118
- GREAT, WE'LL TAKE HIS CAR.
74
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,453
WHAT'S WRONG?
75
00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:35,721
IT'S SAFE, ISN'T IT?
76
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,222
- WELL, IT'S NO PINTO.
77
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,757
- YEAH, YOU HAVE TO HIT THOSE
78
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:41,160
BEFORE THEY'LL BURST
INTO FLAMES.
79
00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:44,630
- EXCUSE ME,
BUT THIS ISN'T MY STREET.
80
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,164
- NO PROBLEM
81
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,533
JUST CLICK YOUR HEELS AND SAY,
"THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME,"
82
00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:49,735
ONLY DO IT OUTSIDE.
83
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:52,070
THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE.
84
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[engine revving]
85
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,173
[owl hooting]
86
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,174
- THIS PLACE IS WEIRD.
87
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,176
[rattling noise]
88
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:59,344
- WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?
89
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:02,581
- STACY, YOU'RE NOT WEARING
THOSE BANGLES AGAIN, ARE YOU?
90
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,115
- OF COURSE NOT, SANDI.
91
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,117
[rattling noise]
92
00:03:05,119 --> 00:03:06,451
OH, NO.
93
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:08,887
IT'S THE RATTLING GIRL
OF LAWNDALE!
94
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:12,156
- STACY, EVERYONE KNOWS
THAT STORY WAS JUST MADE UP
95
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:14,926
BY UNPOPULAR PEOPLE
TO TRY TO SCARE POPULAR PEOPLE
96
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,562
INTO BECOMING UNPOPULAR.
97
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:17,596
- WHAT STORY?
98
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,497
- YOU KNOW...
99
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,333
IT WAS, LIKE, 100 YEARS AGO.
100
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,468
THERE WAS THIS GIRL
WHO WAS REALLY COOL.
101
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:26,003
I THINK THEY SAID SHE WAS
A "GROOVY CHICK."
102
00:03:26,005 --> 00:03:27,539
ANYWAY, SHE WAS POPULAR.
103
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:30,742
- LIKE, THE WAY YOU'RE HANGING
THAT BUNTING IS A REAL DRAG.
104
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,779
- YEAH, A DRAAAAG.
105
00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:34,947
- HOW ABOUT THIS?
106
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- SOLID.
- BOSS.
107
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- FAR OUT, BUT IT WOULD BE
FARER OUT IF IT WERE HIGHER.
108
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,452
- REALLY?
109
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,120
- JUST A 1/16 OF AN INCH.
110
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,656
- HEY, WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE
MY WORD FOR IT?
111
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:45,991
- BECAUSE SHE'S MORE WITH IT.
112
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:49,328
- YEAH, SHE'S ALMOST PERFECT.
113
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,563
- I THOUGHT I WAS PERFECT.
114
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,598
WHAT'S "ALMOST PERFECT"
ABOUT ME?
115
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,433
- THAT'S WHEN
THE WHOLE THING STARTED.
116
00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:57,603
SHE LOOKED AT, LIKE,
EVERY SQUARE INCH OF HER BODY
117
00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,137
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT WAS WRONG,
118
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,807
AND THEN...
119
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,608
- IT'S MY EYELIDS.
120
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:06,211
THEY'RE FAT.
121
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,714
- SO SHE CUT HER DIET IN HALF
122
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:10,816
DRINKING ONLY ONE
ONE-CALORIE TAB A DAY,
123
00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,784
AND SHE LOST, LIKE,
1/8 OF AN OUNCE
124
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,753
JUST IN TIME FOR THE BIG DANCE.
125
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,722
- THAT CHICK
IS A TANGERINE DREAM.
126
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,857
- OH, NO, SHE'S PERFECT.
127
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- DIG IT.
128
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,693
OOOF, BUMMER.
129
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:25,397
- AND SHE WAS PERFECT,
THE MOST POPULAR GIRL EVER.
130
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:30,168
- CAN I, UM, DANCE NEAR YOU?
131
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,470
- OH, ALL RIGHT,
BUT NOT TOO CLOSE.
132
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:35,874
I DON'T WANT YOU TO BLOCK
ANYONE'S VIEW.
133
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:38,877
- THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME
THEY HEARD IT.
134
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,712
- THAT NOISE IS LAYING
A HEAD TRIP ON ME, MAN.
135
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,214
- I CAN'T GROOVE.
136
00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:45,217
- WHO LET THE THIRD WORLD
SOLIDARITY CLUB PICK THE MUSIC?
137
00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:46,718
- IT'S NOT THE MUSIC.
138
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,054
[rattling noise]
139
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:51,089
- EEP, IT'S HER.
140
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[all gasp]
141
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,628
[rattling]
142
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,631
[laughter]
143
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,133
- AND IT WAS HER.
144
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:03,201
IT WAS THE RATTLING
OF HER BONES.
145
00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:05,904
- OH, I'LL GET EVEN FOR THIS.
146
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,576
- AND THAT WAS THE LAST
ANYONE EVER SAW OF HER,
147
00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:14,145
BUT IT WASN'T THE LAST
THEY HEARD OF HER.
148
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,280
[rattling noise]
149
00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:17,549
- AHHH!
150
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:18,750
IT WAS TERRIBLE.
151
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,752
I CLOSED MY EYES FOR ONE SECOND,
152
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:23,255
AND THERE SHE WAS
TRYING TO BITE OFF MY EYELIDS.
153
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:26,858
- WE CAN NEVER CLOSE
OUR EYES AGAIN.
154
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:29,361
- I KNOW,
NOT EVEN TO TAKE OFF MASCARA.
155
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:31,596
- SHE STALKED
ALL THE POPULAR GIRLS,
156
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,598
EVEN SOME MEDIUM-POPULAR ONES.
157
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,166
THEY WERE AFRAID TO SLEEP,
158
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,302
AND THEIR EYES GOT ALL BLOODSHOT
AND ICKY-LOOKING.
159
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:39,004
HI, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
160
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,571
- WHOA, YOUR FACE.
161
00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:42,240
IT'S FREAKING ME OUT, MAN.
162
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:44,042
- AND HERE'S THE SCARY PART:
163
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:47,011
ONE BY ONE, THEY BECAME...
164
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,814
UNPOPULAR.
165
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,651
- WELL, I FOR ONE
DON'T BELIEVE THAT STORY.
166
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:55,120
I MEAN, EVERYONE KNOWS
YOU CAN'T BE TOO THIN.
167
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:56,487
- OH, YEAH.
168
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:59,491
WERE ANYONE'S EYELIDS
REALLY EATEN?
169
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:00,825
- TIFFANY, DEAR,
170
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:03,695
EYELID-CONSUMING MONSTERS
SIMPLY DO NOT EXIST.
171
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ONLY AN EXTREMELY GULLIBLE LOSER
172
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,666
WOULD BELIEVE
SUCH A LAUGHABLE TALE.
173
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,233
- YEAH, HEH-HEH.
174
00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:10,702
[all laughing uncomfortably]
175
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,870
[rattling noise]
176
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,272
[all screaming]
177
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:15,473
[rattling noise]
178
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:16,475
arf!
179
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:18,076
- YOU SAY THIS THING'S SAFE?
180
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,444
- IT'S AN ADVENTURE ON WHEELS.
181
00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:21,046
- ADVENTURE ON WHEELS?
182
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,248
[laughs]
ADVENTURES CAN BE GOOD.
183
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,450
UM, YOU'RE GONNA STEER
WITH BOTH HANDS
184
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:26,851
WHEN WE'RE ACTUALLY MOVING,
RIGHT?
185
00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:28,853
- UNLESS I THINK OF
SOME LYRICS ON THE ROAD
186
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,355
AND HAVE TO WRITE 'EM DOWN.
187
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:31,556
YOU UNDERSTAND.
188
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,623
- OH, SURE.
189
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:33,825
HELP ME.
190
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:36,294
- MAYBE THESE TWO
SHOULDN'T BE LEFT ALONE.
191
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,497
- I WAS STARTING TO FEEL
THE OLD WANDERLUST ANYWAY.
192
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:41,032
- BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA FIT
FOUR MORE PEOPLE IN THE CAR?
193
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,567
- IT'S BEEN DONE BEFORE,
194
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,168
AND THIS TIME,
THERE'S NO DRUM KIT.
195
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,336
- [sniffing]
196
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:46,905
WHAT'S THAT FUNNY SMELL?
197
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,073
IT WASN'T SO FUNNY
WHEN IT HAPPENED,
198
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,443
BUT IT'S A REALLY GREAT STORY.
199
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:54,378
[tires squealing]
200
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:06,257
AND THAT'S WHY YOU USE A BOTTLE
AND NOT ONE OF THOSE
201
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:10,128
LITTLE MILK CARTONS,
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING.
202
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,195
[tires screeching]
203
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,230
UH, OH.
204
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,999
- WHAT? WHAT?
WHAT HAPPENED?
205
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,166
- JANEY?
206
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,734
- 7, 8, 9, 10.
207
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:18,103
[engine turns]
208
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,271
- NICE COUNTING.
209
00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,772
- I CAN GO ALL THE WAY UP TO 20.
210
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,542
- WHEW, I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA
BE STRANDED THERE FOR A MINUTE.
211
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:24,876
- NO WAY.
212
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,612
WE DON'T WANT TO BE CAUGHT
OUT HERE BY THESE WOODS,
213
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,313
ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT.
214
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:30,515
- REALLY?
WHY NOT?
215
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:32,651
- ROVING BANDS
OF EMBITTERED SQUIRRELS?
216
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:35,320
- NAH, IT'S BECAUSE OF...
217
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:36,822
METALMOUTH.
218
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,690
[coughs]
219
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:39,891
- WHAT?
- METALMOUTH.
220
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,159
- OH.
221
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,862
- METALMOUTH STARTED OUT
AS A METAL SHOP TEACHER.
222
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:46,198
- YOUR ASSIGNMENT:
MAKE A SHOESHINE BOX,
223
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:51,169
A REAL SHOESHINE BOX
BORN IRON AND FLAME AND SWEAT!
224
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,905
NOT LIKE
THE SISSY SHOESHINE BOXES
225
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:57,309
THOSE HAMMER-TAPPING PUNKS
ARE MAKING IN WOODSHOP.
226
00:07:57,311 --> 00:08:00,045
METAL: SUBSTANCE OF STRENGTH
AND HONOR.
227
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:02,848
- IS THE CLASS
WHERE YOU MAKE SURFBOARDS?
228
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:03,949
- ARGH.
229
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,451
- BUT THE TEACHER
HAD THIS BAD HABIT.
230
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,019
HE'D GRIND HIS TEETH...
231
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,086
- SEE THIS?
232
00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:10,522
THIS IS A CHUCK.
233
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:13,992
DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
IF YOU TURN ON A DRILL PRESS
234
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,460
WITH A CHUCK LEFT IN IT?
235
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,062
- UM, IT'LL FLY OFF,
HIT YOUR HEAD,
236
00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:18,463
AND MAKE IT SQUIRT BLOOD
AND STUFF.
237
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:20,298
- VERY GOOD.
238
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,467
[together]
BLOOD, COOL.
239
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:25,070
- ARRGH.
240
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,704
- EVEN WHEN HE SLEPT...
241
00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:28,005
- KIDS!
242
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,840
VARNISH IN THEIR HAIR!
243
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:33,044
MAKES 'EM STUPID!
244
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:37,182
ARRRGH.
245
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,649
AHHHHHHHHHH!
246
00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:42,854
- UNTIL HE GROUND HIS TEETH DOWN
TO NOTHING.
247
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,856
- THAT'S THE LAST OF THEM.
248
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,492
NOW, NORMALLY, THIS IS WHERE
WE'D FIT YOU FOR DENTURES,
249
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:48,994
BUT YOU'RE A TEACHER, RIGHT?
250
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,328
- MM-HMM.
251
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:53,198
- OKAY, THEN,
HERE'S SOME BABY FOOD COUPONS.
252
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,500
OH, THE STRAINED CARROTS ARE
GONNA TAKE SOME GETTING USED TO.
253
00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:58,870
- HE WAS KIND OF HOPING
NO ONE WOULD NOTICE
254
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,873
HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY TEETH,
BUT THEY DID,
255
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,808
ESPECIALLY ONE KID.
256
00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,510
- AS I WATH THAYING.
257
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,379
- YEAH, WHAT WERE YOU THAYING?
258
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,480
[laughs]
259
00:09:08,482 --> 00:09:09,780
- WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?
260
00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:10,848
YOU'RE GONNA PISS HIM OFF.
261
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,450
- HEY, HE KNOWS
I'M JUST KIDDING AROUND.
262
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:13,751
- AS I WATH THAYING,
263
00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:16,520
YOU MAY FIND THITH OF GREAT UTHE
TO YOU
264
00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:18,189
INSIDE YOUR PRITHON THELL.
265
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:21,292
THOMETHING I THEE IN MOST
OF YOUR FUTURES.
266
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,294
NOW, WHO CAN TELL ME
THE DIFFERENCE
267
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:25,764
BETWEEN A FILE AND A RATHP?
268
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,032
- A WHAT?
269
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,300
- A RATHP.
270
00:09:28,302 --> 00:09:29,401
- EXCUSE ME?
271
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,102
- A RATHP!
272
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,737
[laughter]
273
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,273
- SOME SAY THAT'S WHAT DROVE HIM
TO MADNESS.
274
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:38,276
OTHERS SAY, YOU KNOW, NO.
275
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:41,079
ANYWAY, ONE NIGHT,
HE GOT THIS IDEA.
276
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,015
- [cackling]
277
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,354
- YO, DMC, WATCH THIS.
278
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,655
UM GOLLY, TEACH,
279
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,790
I SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN
WHAT YOU TAUGHT US YESTERDAY.
280
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:53,958
[giggles]
281
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,026
WHAT DID YOU SAY THIS WAS?
282
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:58,363
IT'S A RASSSSP!
283
00:09:58,365 --> 00:09:59,798
[all gasp]
284
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:04,302
- HE'D MADE HIMSELF A SET
OF HAND-FORGED STEEL DENTURES...
285
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:08,940
- WOULD ANYONE CARE TO SEE
MY NEW TEETH IN ACTION?
286
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:12,677
BUT THOSE DENTURES
HAD ONE FATAL FLAW.
287
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,813
- OF COURSE, SOME OF YOU
MAY TAKE COMFORT IN THE FACT
288
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:17,615
THAT THE ROCKS INSIDE YOUR HEADS
ARE HARDER THAN WOOD,
289
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,384
BUT I ASSURE YOU THAT...
290
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:22,587
♪ GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN ♪
291
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:24,522
- THEY PICKED UP RADIO STATIONS.
292
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:28,726
- SO IF I MAY RETURN TO OUR
DISCUSSION ON DRILL SAFETY,
293
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:30,594
THIS IS THE CHUCK, AND...
294
00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:34,332
♪ NOT THE FORTUNATE ONE,
'CAUSE GIRLS JUST WANNA ♪
295
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,433
♪ THEY JUST... ♪
296
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,001
WAIT A MINUTE, CHUCKS...
297
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,370
♪ JUST WANNA HAVE FUN ♪
298
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,405
THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T...
299
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:44,008
♪ WANNA,
THEY JUST WANNA, GIRLS ♪
300
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,176
[laughter]
301
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,045
- WHAT A DOOF.
302
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,680
- HEY, I KNOW WHAT'S FUN.
303
00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,481
LET'S DRILL A HOLE IN MY SHOE.
304
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:55,086
- YEAH, HE WAS FINISHED
AT LAWNDALE HIGH,
305
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:58,156
BUT HE WASN'T FINISHED TEACHING
SOME KIDS A LESSON OR TWO.
306
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,857
- DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING?
307
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:00,992
- UM, MY LUNCH?
308
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,428
NO, STOMACH STUFF IS GURGLY.
309
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,564
THIS WAS...DIFFERENT.
310
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:09,534
RACCOONS, BABY, RACCOONS.
311
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:11,802
- ♪ THEY WANNA HAVE FUN ♪
312
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:13,871
- OH, I LIKE THAT SONG.
313
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:16,141
- OH, BABE, IT'S A CHICK SONG.
314
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:18,843
- IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED,
I'M A CHICK.
315
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,512
- ALL RIGHT, I'LL TURN IT UP.
316
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:22,914
HEY, THE RADIO'S NOT ON.
317
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,082
[metal crunching]
318
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,750
- DID YOU HEAR THAT?
- NOT ME.
319
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:27,552
I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING
SCRATCHING AT THE DOOR.
320
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:28,553
I'M NOT SCARED.
321
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:29,554
BABE...
322
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:30,821
AHHHHHH!
323
00:11:30,823 --> 00:11:34,159
[tires squealing]
324
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:36,461
- I'M SORRY I GOT SO SCARED.
325
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:37,795
- HEY, YOU CAN'T HELP IT
326
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:39,497
IF YOU'VE GOT A FEMALE
SCAREDY-CAT BRAIN.
327
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,565
- I MEAN,
NOW THAT I THINK OF IT,
328
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,067
IT WAS ALL PRETTY FUNNY.
329
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:44,335
HA, HA, YOU KNOW.
330
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:46,838
- BUT SHE WAS RIGHT
TO BE SCARED.
331
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,840
- [screams]
332
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:52,176
- BECAUSE ALL FOUR TIRES
WERE FLAT,
333
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:55,447
BITTEN...TO...FLATNESS.
334
00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:56,681
- OH, MY...
335
00:11:56,683 --> 00:12:00,818
- AND THERE ON THE DOOR HANDLE,
A SET OF STEEL...
336
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:04,822
HAND-FORGED...TEETH.
337
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:06,291
- EWW.
338
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:08,393
- AND THE MORAL
OF THIS STORY IS,
339
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,562
DON'T OPEN CAR DOORS
WITH YOUR MOLARS.
340
00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:11,729
- I DON'T GET IT.
341
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,765
WHY WAS THE SAME SONG
ALWAYS ON THE RADIO,
342
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,867
AND WHY DIDN'T HE GET SPORTS
AND WEATHER?
343
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:18,569
- HEY, THE TRUTH
ISN'T ALWAYS ROLLED UP
344
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,539
IN A NEAT LITTLE PACKAGE
YOU CAN CARRY IN YOUR WALLET.
345
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,875
- NOR SHOULD IT EVER BE WASHED
AND RE-USED.
346
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,644
- DARIA, YOU DON'T THINK QUINN'S
LOST IN THOSE WOODS, DO YOU?
347
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:27,645
- I DOUBT IT.
348
00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:29,380
THERE'S NOTHING TO BUY THERE.
349
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:32,684
- YOU'RE RIGHT, MAYBE WE SHOULD
ALL TRY TO THINK LIKE QUINN.
350
00:12:32,686 --> 00:12:36,420
- OKAY, WHO WANTS THEIR
FRONTAL LOBES REMOVED FIRST?
351
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,590
- BUT, SANDI, I'M AFRAID
TO KNOCK ON THAT DOOR.
352
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,293
WHAT IF SOME FAT OLD MAN
IN AN UNDERSHIRT ANSWERS?
353
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:43,361
- BRRR.
354
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,696
- FINE,
LET'S GO TO THE NEXT HOUSE.
355
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,965
I DON'T LIKE
THAT STATUE THINGY ANYWAY.
356
00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:49,601
- WHAT ABOUT HERE?
357
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:53,138
- STRIPED CURTAINS.
358
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,772
- CUTSIE MAILBOX?
359
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,307
PLEASE.
360
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:59,043
- BY THE TIME WE FIND A HOUSE,
WE'LL BE HOME.
361
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:00,645
HEY, HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?
362
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,780
- CARPORT.
363
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,716
- [sighs]
364
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:18,696
[engine chugging]
365
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:20,231
- JUST A LITTLE STEAM.
366
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,933
WE'LL LET IT COOL OFF
FOR AN HOUR.
367
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,134
- AN HOUR?
368
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,235
JANE-O, CAN'T YOU DO
THAT COUNTING THING?
369
00:13:25,237 --> 00:13:26,904
- IT DOESN'T WORK
IF THE CAR'S ON FIRE.
370
00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:28,306
- ON FIRE?
371
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,241
HMM, BETTER MAKE IT TWO HOURS.
372
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:32,176
- DAMN IT,
LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
373
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,478
- UM, DAD.
374
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,345
HOT! HOT!
BLISTERS, DAMN IT!
375
00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:37,147
- YOU TRY TO RAISE THEM
TO THINK.
376
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,282
- HEY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
377
00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:40,384
THE CAR DIED RIGHT IN FRONT
OF THAT HOUSE...
378
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:41,652
- NOT ASKING.
379
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:42,720
- THE HAUNTED HOUSE.
380
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,889
- NOT ENCOURAGING IN ANY WAY.
381
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:47,091
- THE HOUSE OF BAD GRADES.
382
00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:48,726
- WHY DO I NOT BOTHER?
383
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,895
- THIS HAPPENED BACK
WHEN AMERICA WAS ALL UPBEAT,
384
00:13:50,897 --> 00:13:53,464
CLEAN-CUT, AND EXPECTING
TO GET BLOWN UP ANY MINUTE.
385
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,967
THIS FAMILY HAD JUST BUILT
YOUR AVERAGE BOMB SHELTER
386
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,134
IN THEIR BACK YARD.
387
00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:58,469
- HOW DO YOU LIKE THE SHELTER,
KIDS?
388
00:13:58,471 --> 00:13:59,636
- IT'S SWELL.
389
00:13:59,638 --> 00:14:00,938
- OH, YOU.
390
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:03,274
YOU'VE BEEN SHOWING OFF
THAT BOMB SHELTER ALL DAY.
391
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,443
- YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT,
IT'S THE BEST ON THE BLOCK.
392
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,978
- I'LL GIVE YOU THAT,
YOU BIG LUG.
393
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,714
NOW, YOU ALL COME IN FOR DINNER.
394
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,583
- LET ME GUESS: CASSEROLE.
395
00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:13,851
- MOM, CAN'T WE EAT
IN THE BOMB SHELTER?
396
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,153
I FEEL SO SAFE THERE.
397
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:16,454
- KITTEN'S RIGHT.
398
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,456
WE CAN ALL HAVE CANNED PEACHES
AND EVAPORATED MILK,
399
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,158
YOU KNOW,
BREAK THE PLACE IN.
400
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,593
- BUT, HONEY,
IF YOU EAT THE FOOD NOW,
401
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:25,430
THERE WON'T BE ANYTHING LEFT
FOR POST-NUCLEAR SURVIVAL.
402
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,498
- AWW, I GUESS MOM'S RIGHT.
403
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,868
OKAY, EVERYBODY IN FOR DINNER.
404
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,604
YOU KNOW, HONEY, SOMETIMES
YOU REALLY THINK LIKE A MAN.
405
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,939
- THANKS.
406
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:37,374
- HONEY, DO I HAVE TIME
FOR A FEW CIGARETTES
407
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,810
BEFORE SECONDS ON YOUR PORK,
CHEESE,
408
00:14:38,812 --> 00:14:40,478
AND MASHED POTATO SURPRISE?
409
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,447
- YEP, IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME.
410
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,214
- WHY DON'T YOU HAVE
A SMOKE LATER,
411
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:46,551
WHEN YOU TACK UP THE ASBESTOS
IN THE SHELTER?
412
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,886
- YOU KNOW,
IF THE COLD WAR ENDS,
413
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,320
THAT BOMB SHELTER'S GONNA MAKE
414
00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:51,856
FOR A PRETTY DEPRESSING
REC ROOM.
415
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,390
- THE COLD WAR?
END?
416
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,226
BUT THEN I'D LOOK LIKE
A G-D IDIOT.
417
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,293
- [gasps]
418
00:14:56,295 --> 00:14:57,895
- THEN LET'S ALL
CROSS OUR FINGERS
419
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,564
AND HOPE THEY DO DROP
THE BIG ONE.
420
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,833
ONLY PROBLEM IS,
THERE WON'T BE ANYONE LEFT
421
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,301
TO TELL YOU HOW SMART YOU WERE.
422
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,035
- I HATE YOU.
I HATE YOU.
423
00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:06,237
I HATE YOU.
424
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,305
- WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SCARE HER
LIKE THAT?
425
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:10,775
YOU KNOW HOW YOUR SISTER WORRIES
ABOUT THE LACK OF SURVIVORS
426
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:13,077
AFFECTING HER POPULARITY.
427
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,580
[together]
♪ FOR PURPLE MOUNTAIN... ♪
428
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,915
- AFTER A WHILE, EVERYONE FORGOT
ABOUT GETTING BLOWN UP,
429
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,684
EVERYONE EXCEPT THAT GIRL.
430
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,218
- IF I'M NOT GETTING VAPORIZED,
431
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:22,920
THEN I'LL HAVE TO SWITCH
TO PLAN "B"
432
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,422
FOR GETTING OUT OF LAWNDALE:
COLLEGE.
433
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:28,659
- SO ONE NIGHT, SHE SAT DOWN TO
WRITE AN EARLY ADMISSIONS ESSAY.
434
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:31,662
IT HAD TO BE IN THE MAIL
THE NEXT MORNING.
435
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:32,697
AND THEN...
436
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:33,965
[together]
♪ OH, BEAUTIFUL ♪
437
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:37,635
♪ FOR SPACIOUS SKIES
FOR AMBER WAVES... ♪
438
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,704
- I CAN'T WRITE
WITH ALL THIS NOISE.
439
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:43,507
- COME ON, GUYS,
WATCH THE TOES NOW.
440
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,342
HEY, HOW DO YOU LIKE
WHAT THE BOYS ARE WORKING UP
441
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:46,643
FOR THE JAMBOREE?
442
00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:49,880
NO ONE WILL EVER ACCUSE
THESE KIDS OF BEING REDS.
443
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:50,981
- DON'T YOU THINK YOU COULD
444
00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:53,383
PROTECT DEMOCRACY BETTER
OUTDOORS?
445
00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:55,186
- WHAT?
CAN'T HEAR YOU.
446
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:57,855
- ONE MORE PAGE OF GREEN STAMPS
447
00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,991
AND I CAN GET
THAT RADIUM-DIAL CLOCK.
448
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,193
- MOM, THERE'S TOO MUCH NOISE.
449
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,028
I'VE GOT TO WRITE
MY COLLEGE ESSAY.
450
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:05,329
- YOU CAN DO IT HERE,
451
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:07,598
WHILE YOU HELP ME GET
THESE WALNUTS OUT OF THE JELL-O.
452
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,134
I KEEP FORGETTING THE BOYS
DON'T LIKE WALNUTS.
453
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,502
- COLLEGE?
454
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,638
AH, YOU'LL GET OVER THAT
AFTER YOU MEET THE RIGHT MAN.
455
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,139
- OR EVEN THE WRONG ONE.
456
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,740
[laughter]
457
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,742
- AND THEN SHE REMEMBERED
THE LITTLE HOUSE
458
00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:20,744
THAT PARANOIA BUILT.
459
00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:23,915
[together]
♪ FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA ♪
460
00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:27,451
- "WHY I WANT TO ATTEND COLLEGE:
461
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:30,388
FIRST AND FOREMOST,
COLLEGE IS NOT HERE."
462
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,926
- I GOT THE IDEA
FROM THAT PETE SEEGER FELLA
463
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:36,027
ON STEVE ALLEN.
464
00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:37,561
WE'RE ALL BROTHERS.
465
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:40,197
IF WE LEARN TO LIVE TOGETHER,
WE WON'T NEED BOMB SHELTERS.
466
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:42,366
THAT'S WHY I'M PUTTING IN
A DELUXE BARBEQUE PIT:
467
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:45,769
WEENIES FOR ALL MEN...
AND FOR YOU GIRLS TOO.
468
00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:48,806
- THE KIDS WILL BE SO SURPRISED.
469
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,408
- THAT WAS PUTTING IT LIGHTLY.
470
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,344
YOU SEE, THE GIRL FELL ASLEEP,
AND NO ONE KNEW SHE WAS THERE.
471
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,879
OTHERWISE, I DOUBT
THEY WOULD'VE ENTOMBED HER.
472
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:05,156
- WELL, AT LEAST I CAN HAVE
CANNED PEACHES FOR BREAKFAST.
473
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:07,258
GREAT, NO CAN OPENER.
474
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,726
THEN IT DAWNED ON HER:
475
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,194
NOT ONLY COULD SHE STARVE
TO DEATH,
476
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,830
SHE MIGHT NEVER,
EVER GET OUT OF LAWNDALE.
477
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,700
- DAD, YOU G-D IDIOT.
478
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,902
- YOU KNOW, NEIGHBOR,
YOU'RE RIGHT.
479
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,038
WEENIE ROASTS
CAN PROMOTE UNDERSTANDING.
480
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,705
- YOUR KIDS CAN COME
TO OUR SCHOOL ANYTIME.
481
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,307
THEY WON'T EVEN NEED
THE NATIONAL GUARD.
482
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,942
[laughter]
483
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,979
- SAY YOUR DAUGHTER'S A PIP,
BUT WHERE'S YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER?
484
00:17:27,981 --> 00:17:29,246
THE ONE THAT'S NOT A PIP?
485
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:30,681
WE THINK SHE RAN OFF
TO BE A BEATNIK.
486
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:33,217
NEVER SHOULD'VE BOUGHT HER
THOSE BONGOS.
487
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,718
HEY, WHO WANTS A WEENIE?
488
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,087
- FORGET THE WEENIES.
489
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:38,089
GET ME A DAMN CAN OPENER.
490
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,156
- DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?
491
00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:40,157
- NOPE, YOU?
492
00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:41,258
- NOPE.
493
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,094
MAYBE WE BETTER LAY OFF
THE MARTOONIES.
494
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:44,762
[laughter]
495
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,297
- TIME PASSED.
496
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:49,032
THE FAMILY MOVED AWAY,
AND OTHER FAMILIES MOVED IN.
497
00:17:49,034 --> 00:17:50,468
THE WHEEL OF LIFE TURNED,
498
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,870
BUT IT HAD A MAJOR STICK
IN THE SPOKES.
499
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,305
- ANOTHER "F"?
500
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:56,473
HOW CAN I FEEL BETTER
ABOUT MYSELF
501
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:58,075
WHEN YOU'RE FAILING
EVERY COURSE?
502
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,745
AND DON'T YOU DARE GIVE ME
THAT TIRED OLD EXCUSE.
503
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,179
- BUT, MOM,
504
00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:05,783
THE ANSWERS WERE RIGHT
LAST NIGHT, I SWEAR.
505
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:09,119
- [laughing sinisterly]
506
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:10,554
ANOTHER "F"?
507
00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:12,022
WAY TO GO, EINSTEIN.
508
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:15,359
- AHH!
509
00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:17,194
- YOU SEE,
THE VENGEFUL SPIRIT OF THAT GIRL
510
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:18,495
REMAINS THERE STILL
511
00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:20,664
EXACTING
HER TERRIBLE RETRIBUTION
512
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:22,967
ON THE LIVING
AND THOSE NOT YET BORN.
513
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:25,769
- IF I CAN'T LEAVE
THIS GOD-FORSAKEN TOWN
514
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,972
AND GO TO COLLEGE,
NO ONE WILL.
515
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:32,509
[laughing sinisterly]
516
00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:33,510
- OH, COME ON.
517
00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:34,946
- SCOFF IF YOU WILL,
518
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:37,214
BUT EVERY KID WHO'S LIVED
IN THE HOUSE OF BAD GRADES SINCE
519
00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:39,783
IS WORKING MINIMUM WAGE
IN LAWNDALE TO THIS DAY.
520
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,219
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?
521
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,386
- SCOFF.
522
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:44,455
- QUINN! QUINN! OVER HERE!
523
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,789
QUINN! QUINN!
524
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,758
HONEY, I WAS SO WORRIED.
525
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,594
- THIS SPIRIT,
DOES SHE ALSO POSSESS FATHERS
526
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:52,663
AND TURN THEM INTO
PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENTS?
527
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,431
- WAIT, THAT IS QUINN.
528
00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:56,267
- THERE GOES MY NEW SEWING ROOM.
529
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:58,870
- DAD, IT'S YOU AND...
SOME PEOPLE.
530
00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:00,304
UM, ANYWAY, GOTTA GO.
531
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:01,538
- BUT HOW WILL YOU GET HOME?
532
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:03,140
- DUH, DAD,
WE'RE ONLY TWO BLOCKS AWAY.
533
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,542
BYE.
534
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:06,343
GEE, QUINN, WHAT WERE
YOUR FATHER
535
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:09,480
AND THAT GIRL WHO LIVES WITH YOU
DOING WITH THAT CAR?
536
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:10,481
- WHAT GIRL?
537
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,083
I DIDN'T SEE ANY GIRL.
538
00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:13,451
- TWO BLOCKS?
539
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:14,685
- WHY DIDN'T YOU REALIZE THAT?
540
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:15,852
- I DON'T KNOW.
541
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:16,920
IS THAT THE HOUSE
542
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,756
OF DETERIORATING SENSES
OF DIRECTION?
543
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:21,092
- GUESS WE MIGHT AS WELL
START WALKING.
544
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:22,260
- WHAT ABOUT YOUR CAR?
545
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:24,061
- IT'LL BE HERE IN THE MORNING.
546
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:27,765
NO ONE EVER STEALS IT,
DON'T KNOW WHY.
547
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,267
- DONE.
548
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:31,735
JUST IN TIME.
549
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:33,104
HI, HONEY.
550
00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:35,906
SEE, WE'RE ALL HOME AND EATING
THE LASAGNA I PREPARED.
551
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,543
YEP, GIVE OLD JAKE A TASK
AND IT GETS DONE, BY GOLLY.
552
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,645
- HMM, I'D BETTER GET MY CAR
TO THE SHOP
553
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:41,712
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
554
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,380
- YOUR CAR'S BROKEN TOO?
555
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:45,483
I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS, MOTHER.
556
00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:47,751
- NOT THAT A LITTLE AUTO TROUBLE
STOPPED ME FROM MAKING SURE
557
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:50,988
OUR DAUGHTER GOT HOME SAFELY,
NOT BIG JAKE MORGENDORFFER.
558
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:52,189
- THAT'S NICE, DEAR.
559
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,258
YOU KNOW,
IT WAS THE STRANGEST THING.
560
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:56,794
I WAS AT A STOPLIGHT
ON THAT ROAD NEAR THE WOODS,
561
00:19:56,796 --> 00:20:00,031
AND I HEARD THIS SONG,
BUT THE RADIO WASN'T ON,
562
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,533
AND THEN THE DOOR STARTED MAKING
THE FUNNIEST SOUND,
563
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:03,967
A METALLIC SOUND.
564
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:05,503
MAYBE THE DOOR'S BROKEN
OR SOMETHING.
565
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,371
WELL, THE NOISE STOPPED
AFTER I DROVE AWAY,
566
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:11,107
BUT I STILL THINK I SHOULD
GET IT LOOKED AT IN...
567
00:20:11,109 --> 00:20:13,110
- ♪ LA, LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
568
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:16,046
Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com
569
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,658
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
570
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,362
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
571
00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:37,401
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
572
00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:49,079
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
573
00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:53,483
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA-LA ♪