1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:05,270
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
2
00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:09,741
- ANGELA, WE CERTAINLY RECOGNIZE
3
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:12,444
THE CONFLICTING EMOTIONS
YOU MUST FEEL
4
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,979
AS BOTH EDUCATOR
AND ADMINISTRATOR, BUT--
5
00:00:14,981 --> 00:00:15,980
- DO WE GET OUR RAISE OR NOT?
6
00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:17,416
- BETTER!
7
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:18,984
I'M PUTTING A NEW COFFEE MAKER
IN THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE.
8
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:20,452
- THAT'S NOT AN OFFER.
9
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:21,954
THAT'S AN INSULT!
10
00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:24,956
NOW, AS HEAD OF THE LAWNDALE
TEACHER'S UNION, I--
11
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,025
- WITH SOME OF THOSE
INTERNATIONAL FLAVORS
12
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,294
YOU CAN JUST SQUIRT
RIGHT OUT OF A BOTTLE.
13
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:30,796
MM.
14
00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:32,964
- OOH, I LIKE WHAT I'M SEEING.
15
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:34,966
- MS. LI
CHANGING HER SUPPORT HOSE AGAIN?
16
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:38,003
- THAT'S ANOTHER HABIT THAT WILL
LEAD TO BLINDNESS, UPCHUCK.
17
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,471
- BUT IN THIS CASE,
YOU'LL WISH FOR IT.
18
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:41,373
- YOUR CONCERN TOUCHES ME,
LADIES,
19
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,976
BUT WE'VE GOT
A CAT-AND-DOGFIGHT HERE.
20
00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:45,543
ME--OUCH!
21
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:48,080
AND IT'S ABOUT TO GET
STRIKE-O-LICIOUS.
22
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:50,549
- GIVE US OUR 10%
23
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:51,717
OR WE'LL WALK!
24
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,218
- OH, YOU WILL, WILL YOU?
25
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,319
WELL, I HOPE, FOR YOUR SAKE,
26
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:55,888
YOUR NEGOTIATING SKILLS
HAVE IMPROVED
27
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,489
SINCE THE LAST TIME
YOU TRIED TO PULL THIS STUNT.
28
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,391
OR HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN
THAT THE DENTAL INSURANCE
29
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,293
WAS CONTINGENT
ON YOUR TEACHING A SEWING CLASS?
30
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:02,427
- [growls]
31
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:03,761
- DID YOU HEM THOSE PANTS
YOURSELF?
32
00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:04,763
- THAT'S IT!
33
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:05,931
WE STRIKE!
34
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:10,335
[students cheering]
35
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:13,671
- STUDENTS OF LAWNDALE HIGH,
YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE.
36
00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:14,839
- IS THAT THE VOICE IN MY HEAD
37
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:16,508
THAT TELLS ME TO KILL
AND KILL AGAIN?
38
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:17,509
- NO.
39
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:18,643
SATAN'S VOICE IS LOWER,
40
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,345
AND HE HAS AN ENGLISH ACCENT.
41
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:23,681
- IN AN UNPRECEDENTED SHOW
OF SPINE--I MEAN, SPITE--
42
00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:25,416
YOUR TEACHERS
HAVE ANNOUNCED A STRIKE.
43
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:28,119
HOWEVER, SCHOOL WILL CONTINUE
JUST AS BEFORE.
44
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:29,188
[students groan]
45
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:30,789
IT JUST
WON'T INVOLVE TEACHERS.
46
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,593
[chalk screeching]
47
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,528
- CLASS, YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED
48
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,564
I'M NOT YOUR USUAL TEACHER.
49
00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:41,500
- IF ONLY WE DIDN'T HAVE
OUR USUAL STUDENTS.
50
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:45,303
- FOR OUR FIRST LESSON,
LET'S LEARN EACH OTHER'S NAMES.
51
00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:46,672
I'M MRS. STOLLER.
52
00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:47,773
- GOT IT!
53
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,341
MAN, THIS CLASS
IS GONNA BE A BREEZE!
54
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,442
- AND YOU ARE?
55
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:51,443
- I'M THE Q.B.!
56
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,378
- POSTURE, CUBIE, POSTURE.
57
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:55,313
- WE THINK HE'S DOING VERY WELL,
58
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:57,649
CONSIDERING HOW HE MISSED OUT
ON EVOLUTION.
59
00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,518
- AND WHAT'S YOUR NAME, DEAR?
60
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,585
- DARIA.
61
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,987
- THAT SOUNDS LIKE
A HIPPIE NAME.
62
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:05,356
I THINK I'LL CALL YOU DARLENE.
63
00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:08,493
SO MUCH PRETTIER.
64
00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:10,162
all: WE NEED A LOT MORE MONEY!
65
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,763
THIS REALLY ISN'T FUNNY!
66
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:14,932
YOU DON'T PAY US ENOUGH
TO BUY HONEY!
67
00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:16,100
- I DON'T KNOW.
68
00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:17,101
THIS CHANT--
69
00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:18,370
- IT SUCKS!
70
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:19,404
- HEY!
71
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:20,873
I THREW OUT THE RHYME
ABOUT THE BUNNY.
72
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:22,241
- UM, ANTHONY,
73
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:24,409
HAVEN'T MOST GREAT LABOR
MOVEMENTS THROUGHOUT HISTORY
74
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:26,011
FEATURED A STIRRING SONG?
75
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:27,012
- GREAT IDEA!
76
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,013
MAKE ONE UP!
77
00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:29,781
- OH.
WELL, UM...
78
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:30,849
LET ME SEE.
79
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,352
♪ WELL,
I CAME TO SUNNY LAWNDALE ♪
80
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:36,021
♪ WITH A SMILE AND A DEGREE ♪
81
00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:37,322
HMM, NO.
82
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,756
UH...
OH!
83
00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:41,460
♪ I'VE BEEN TEACHING
HERE IN LAWNDALE ♪
84
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:43,695
♪ ON RATHER MODEST PAY ♪
85
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:46,565
NO, THAT'S NOT QUITE
FORCEFUL ENOUGH.
86
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:49,434
- TRUE LITERATURE
SHOULD INSPIRE US
87
00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:53,638
TO SEEK NEW EXPERIENCES,
TO EXPLORE NEW SENSATIONS--
88
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:54,806
- MR. EDWARDS?
89
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:55,908
- CALL ME KEN.
90
00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:58,543
- UM, KEN,
THIS IS ALMOST INTERESTING,
91
00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:01,479
BUT SEEING AS HOW YOU'RE ONLY
THE SUBSTITUTE TEACHER,
92
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,648
PERHAPS YOU CAN GIVE US
OUR BOOK ASSIGNMENTS,
93
00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:04,983
AND WE CAN BE ON OUR WAY.
94
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:06,418
- AH, BUT WHAT TO ASSIGN?
95
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:09,087
YOU SEE,
THE ONLY BOOKS WORTH READING
96
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,188
ARE THOSE WRITTEN
97
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,657
IN THE DEEP,
PASSIONATE WATERS OF LIFE.
98
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:13,959
- SO LIKE JAWS?
99
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:16,094
- NO, NO,
LIKE THE NOVEL I'M WRITING.
100
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:18,997
IT'S ABOUT A SLIGHTLY OLDER,
SENSITIVE MAN
101
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:22,600
AND THE LOVE A BUDDING
WOMAN CHILD FEELS FOR HIM
102
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:23,902
WHEN SHE
GETS TO KNOW HIM BETTER.
103
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,070
- WHAT?
104
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:27,205
- SEE, LOVE CAN BE SO SIMPLE
105
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,740
WHEN THE HAND OF EXPERIENCE
106
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,510
NURTURES THE BUDDING FLOWER
TO FULL BLOSSOM.
107
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:34,179
- YOU'RE WRITING ABOUT
GARDENING?
108
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:35,947
- AND MY
LANGUAGE ARTS SUBSTITUTE
109
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,850
WOULDN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS
STUPID NOVEL HE'S WRITING
110
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,386
ABOUT SOME PROFESSOR WHO'S
DATING A BUDDING CHILD WOMAN
111
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,620
BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BLOSSOM HER.
112
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:43,888
- MM-HMM.
113
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,225
- AND THEN HE STARTED ACTING OUT
HIS STUPID BOOK FOR US,
114
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:47,459
STROKING TIFFANY'S HAIR
115
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,228
AND TELLING HER
ABOUT HIS ANGUISHED SOUL.
116
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,329
- MM-HMM.
117
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:53,065
WHAT?
HE WAS STROKING TIFFANY'S HAIR?
118
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,066
- I KNOW!
119
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,534
LIKE TIFFANY
WOULD EVER DATE SOMEONE
120
00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,035
WHO WORE A TWEED JACKET.
121
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,470
- DARIA!
GET ME THE--
122
00:03:58,472 --> 00:03:59,404
- THANK YOU.
123
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,707
- OH, TIFFANY.
124
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:03,809
TIFFANY.
125
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:06,744
I NEVER GOT TO HEAR YOU
CALL ME "KEN."
126
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:10,982
- ATTENTION!
127
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,551
WILL MISS DARIA MORGENDORFFER
128
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,653
PLEASE REPORT
TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE.
129
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,254
NOW!
130
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,289
- DARLENE?
131
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:18,490
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
132
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:19,925
- TO GET DARIA.
133
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:22,193
- IF SOMEONE ASKED ME
134
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,829
TO TEACH A CLASS,
I'D BE HONORED.
135
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,330
BESIDES,
WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS FIX
136
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:26,531
IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOUR MOTHER.
137
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:27,532
- YEAH.
138
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:28,733
HIRE ONE PEDOPHILE,
139
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,636
AND SHE GETS
ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE.
140
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:33,005
BESIDES, I'M NOT THINKING OF ME.
141
00:04:33,007 --> 00:04:35,440
I'M THINKING OF THE CHILDREN.
142
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:36,842
- NOT SO FAST.
143
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:39,111
YOU'LL GET OUT OF GYM CLASS.
144
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,779
- YOU?
A SCAB?
145
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:41,846
- OH, GREAT.
146
00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,282
TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL.
147
00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,217
- YOU'D BE
BETRAYING YOUR TEACHERS.
148
00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:46,518
- HEY, YEAH!
149
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,487
YOU'D BE
BETRAYING YOUR TEACHERS.
150
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:51,022
- YOU'D JUST BE
FALLING INTO THE SAME TRAP
151
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,691
THAT MANAGEMENTS ALWAYS USE
152
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:55,193
TO KEEP WAGES LOW
AND WORKERS WEAK.
153
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:57,362
- OH, GO DANCE
ON THE HEAD OF A PIN.
154
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:59,998
YOU COULD MAKE QUINN'S LIFE
REALLY MISERABLE.
155
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,900
- HUH.
THAT'S A GOOD POINT.
156
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,167
- HEY, YOU HUNGRY?
157
00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:06,304
- YEAH,
WE CAN PICK THIS UP LATER.
158
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:12,144
- MS. MORGENDORFFER,
I'M WAITING.
159
00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:14,146
- THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME,
160
00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:16,414
ESPECIALLY WITH TODAY BEING
THE FIRST DAY
161
00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:18,716
OF CASHMAN'S
CRUISEWEAR CRAZINESS.
162
00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:20,018
- ATTENTION, YOUNG PEOPLE!
163
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,921
MR. EDWARDS WILL NO LONGER
BE JOINING US, DUE TO...
164
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,122
REASONS.
165
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:27,292
- I HOPE IT'S NOT HIS ANGUISH
ACTING UP.
166
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:30,061
- BUT I AM PROUD TO INTRODUCE
A SUBSTITUTE
167
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,263
WITH TOLERABLE CREDENTIALS,
168
00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:33,265
WHO IS FAR LESS LIABLE
TO ENGENDER A LAWSUIT
169
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:35,500
THAT COULD COST ME
MY VERY PANTS.
170
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,868
- HELLO.
171
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,704
MY NAME IS MISS DARLENE,
AND I'LL BE YOUR NEW TEACHER.
172
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,447
- LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
173
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:50,615
IT'S NOT EVERY STUDENT
174
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,185
WHO HAS ACCESS TO THEIR TEACHER
24 HOURS A DAY.
175
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,353
- BUT I DON'T WANT ACCESS.
176
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,789
HOME IS MY SANITARIUM
AWAY FROM SCHOOL.
177
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,023
- DOES THIS MEAN WE CAN JUST
178
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,692
DO OUR PARENT-TEACHER
CONFERENCES HERE?
179
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,628
HELLO, FREE TIME
FOR MODEL RAILROADING!
180
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:06,898
- MORNING, MOM, DAD...CLASS.
181
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,132
- MO-OM!
182
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:09,301
UGH!
183
00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:10,535
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?
184
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,004
- IT'S HER GRADES,
OR RATHER, IT WILL BE.
185
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:14,672
- DARIA--
- WHOO! WHOO!
186
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:16,908
ALL ABOARD THE BIG JAKE EXPRESS!
187
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:19,811
- "NOW, CLASS,
188
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,914
LET'S CHECK THE EVENNESS
OF YOUR BOX STITCH."
189
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:23,915
NO.
190
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,082
NO.
NEVER AGAIN!
191
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:27,652
- ♪ ON TOP OF OUR PAYCHECKS ♪
192
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,187
♪ RIGHT UNDER THE DATE ♪
193
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,823
♪ THERE SITS A SMALL NUMBER ♪
194
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,491
♪ WE'VE ALL GROWN TO HATE ♪
195
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:34,492
I DON'T KNOW.
196
00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:36,394
HATE IS SUCH AN UGLY WORD.
197
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,862
- COOL TUNE, MAN.
198
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:39,164
CLASSIC FEEL.
199
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,665
- WAIT.
I KNOW YOU!
200
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,834
- YOU'RE ON SPIRAL'S
MAILING LIST?
201
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,003
- NO,
YOU WERE ONE OF MY STUDENTS.
202
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,505
TRENT LANE.
203
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:47,506
- UM--
204
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:48,840
- TRENT, DO YOU REMEMBER
205
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,341
HOW YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS
USED TO WRITE
206
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,343
"DOWN WITH THE MAN" ON MY CAR
WITH SOAP?
207
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:53,945
- JUST LET IT GO, MAN.
208
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,280
I MEAN, BYGONES, RIGHT?
209
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:56,547
- WELL, TRENT,
210
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:58,850
TODAY "THE MAN"
IS COMING DOWN ON US,
211
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:01,286
THE UNDERPAID TEACHERS
OF LAWNDALE HIGH,
212
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:04,456
AND WE COULD REALLY USE THE HELP
OF A TALENTED SONGWRITER.
213
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:05,623
- I DON'T KNOW.
214
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,725
- THIS IS A CHANCE
TO FOCUS YOUR ENERGY
215
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:09,794
ON A CAUSE
WORTHY OF YOUR TALENT,
216
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:11,963
YOUR KNOWLEDGE, YOUR VIRTUOSITY!
217
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,399
- I DON'T HAVE TO READ MUSIC,
DO I?
218
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:15,867
- NO.
219
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,002
- WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
220
00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,970
TRENT'S ACTUALLY ON TIME
TO PICK US UP,
221
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,572
AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS
SET HIS CLOCK AHEAD FOUR HOURS.
222
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:24,476
- I DON'T THINK HE'S ADJUSTED
TO THE TIME CHANGE.
223
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:27,179
HE APPEARS TO BE WRITING A SONG
WITH MR. O'NEILL.
224
00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:28,647
- HE'S TOO GOOD-NATURED.
225
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,682
IF A TEACHER TRIED TO
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME LIKE THAT,
226
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,150
I'D TELL THEM
RIGHT WHERE TO STICK IT.
227
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,652
- JANE, THANK GOD.
228
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,387
WE NEED YOUR TASTE AND TALENT.
229
00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:36,721
- GO ON, JANE,
230
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,756
OFFER THAT PIECE
OF FRIENDLY ADVICE
231
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:39,758
YOU JUST MENTIONED.
232
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,492
- MS. BARCH'S SIGNS?
233
00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:44,162
WELL, THEY AREN'T REALLY
GETTING OUR MESSAGE ACROSS.
234
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:47,498
COULD YOU HELP US DESIGN
SOME STRONG GRAPHIC STATEMENTS?
235
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,534
I'LL WRITE A NOTE
TO GET YOU OUT OF CLASS.
236
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:51,836
OH, WAIT, I GUESS I CAN'T.
237
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,771
- NO, BUT THE SCAB CAN.
238
00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:55,707
- GEE, THANKS, MR. HOFFA.
239
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,943
- ♪ YOUR SALARY OFFENDS ME ♪
240
00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:01,112
♪ YOUR HEALTH PLAN... ♪
241
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:03,114
- "DOESN'T MEND ME?"
242
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:06,384
- YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY,
243
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:09,855
WE CAN JUST STOP RIGHT NOW.
244
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:12,958
- AND SO THE PEOPLE
ASKED GEORGE WASHINGTON,
245
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,626
"WILL YOU BE OUR NEW KING?"
246
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,293
AND WASHINGTON SAID--
247
00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:18,063
YOUNG LADY, YOU'RE TARDY.
248
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:20,565
- GEE, HE WASN'T VERY FOCUSED.
249
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,367
- I HAVE A NOTE FROM A TEACHER.
250
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,969
- "PLEASE EXCUSE JANE
FROM CLASS.
251
00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:26,637
SIGNED: MISS DARLENE."
252
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,440
WELL, ON YOUR WAY, THEN.
253
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,077
- OKAY.
254
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:34,245
WE KNOW MR. O'NEILL
ASSIGNED A PLAY,
255
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:36,147
AND YOU'RE PRETTY SURE THE TITLE
256
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,249
DIDN'T CONTAIN THE WORD "ALIEN."
257
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,318
DO YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE?
258
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,420
- UH, I THINK THE GUY
ON THE COVER WAS WEARING TIGHTS.
259
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:43,721
- HMM.
260
00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:46,490
SINCE THERE ARE NO WRESTLING
DRAMAS ON THE SYLLABUS,
261
00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:47,759
I'M GUESSING SHAKESPEARE.
262
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,160
- WAIT, I REMEMBER NOW.
263
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:50,328
HE'S A STALKER.
264
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,829
HE FOLLOWS GIRLS HOME
FROM PARTIES
265
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:52,898
AND PEEKS IN THEIR WINDOWS.
266
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,000
- ROMEO AND JULIET.
267
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,600
[bell rings]
268
00:08:56,602 --> 00:09:00,004
- A CLASSROOM FULL OF
BLANK FACES IS A LITTLE SPOOKY,
269
00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:02,706
UNTIL YOU PLANT YOUR FEET
AND STARE THEM DOWN.
270
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:05,443
- YOU KNOW, APES INTERPRET THAT
AS A GESTURE OF DOMINANCE.
271
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,111
- THAT'S WHAT I JUST SAID.
272
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,347
- HELLO, MS. MORGENDORFFER!
273
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,416
HOW LOVELY YOU LOOK TODAY.
274
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,883
- HEY, DARIA,
COULD YOU WRITE ME A NOTE
275
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,685
THAT SAYS I DIDN'T PUT THAT DENT
IN MY DAD'S CAR?
276
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:16,454
- AND CAN WE HAVE ONE
TO GET OUT OF CLASS
277
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,289
SO WE CAN MAKE OUT...
278
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,224
SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATIONS?
279
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:24,796
- [grumbling]
280
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,397
- NICE.
NICE.
281
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,633
REMEMBER, NOTHING SAYS,
"DEATH TO THE BOSSES!"
282
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:29,734
LIKE PRIMARIES.
283
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:30,901
PASTELS ARE FOR APPEASENIKS.
284
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:32,304
both: ♪ HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ♪
285
00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:34,072
♪ TO THE CHILDREN'S ZOO? ♪
286
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,640
♪ WHEN THE BIRDIES
SAY "CHEEP" ♪
287
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:38,476
♪ THEY'RE TALKING 'BOUT YOU ♪
288
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,811
NAH.
289
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:40,912
- GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE!
290
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,213
I JUST CAME
FROM MS. LI'S OFFICE,
291
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:43,381
AND SHE'S MADE A FINAL OFFER.
292
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:47,084
A .08% PAY HIKE
AND FREE NON-DAIRY CREAMER!
293
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,821
AND ANTHONY, SHE SAYS YOU CAN
PUT AWAY YOUR SEWING KIT.
294
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,222
SO WHAT DOES EVERYONE SAY?
295
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,824
[all agreeing]
296
00:09:53,826 --> 00:09:55,660
ANTHONY,
IS SOMETHING THE MATTER?
297
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:56,994
- MY DEAR MRS. BENNETT,
298
00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:58,329
AS AN INFORMED CONSUMER,
299
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:01,265
YOU SHOULD KNOW
THAT NON-DAIRY CREAMER
300
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,601
OFFERS NO SUSTENANCE WHATSOEVER
301
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,669
AND NEITHER DOES THAT OFFER!
302
00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:07,605
THIS IS THE CONTRACT WE WROTE,
303
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,341
AND THIS IS THE CONTRACT
SHE'S GOING TO SIGN!
304
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,408
COVER ME, BOYS.
305
00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:13,445
I'M GOING IN!
306
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,212
- WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR,
JANE?
307
00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:16,414
- BOMBERS.
308
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,550
HE'LL NEVER MAKE IT
WITHOUT AIR SUPPORT.
309
00:10:18,552 --> 00:10:21,218
- "FOR NEVER WAS A STORY
OF MORE WOE
310
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,454
"THAN THIS OF JULIET AND HER...
311
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,556
ROMEO."
312
00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:27,358
- THANK YOU, JOEY, JEFFY,
OR JAMIE.
313
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,794
LAURENCE OLIVIER,
IN HIS PRESENT STATE,
314
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,162
COULDN'T HAVE DONE BETTER.
315
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,264
- COOL.
- WHAT DOES "WOE" MEAN?
316
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,133
- IT LIKE THE FEELING YOU'D GET
317
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,702
IF THE SUPER BOWL WERE PREEMPTED
BY ANTIQUES ROADSHOW.
318
00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:39,704
- WHOA!
319
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:40,705
- SEE?
320
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,307
- QUINN, ARE YOU TAKING NOTES?
321
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,641
- UM, NO.
322
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,376
I'M JUST, UH, WRITING
SO THAT GIRL
323
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,312
THINKS I'M PAYING ATTENTION
WHEN I'M NOT REALLY.
324
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,547
- WHO CARES
WHAT A TEACHER THINKS?
325
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:50,915
THEY'RE SUCH LOSERS.
326
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,784
- YEAH.
EWW.
327
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,986
- SHE'S NOT A REAL TEACHER,
SANDI.
328
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,154
SHE'S A SUBSTITUTE.
329
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,223
- OH.
A SUBSTITUTE LOSER.
330
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:00,224
- OKAY.
331
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,325
YOU'VE READ THE PLAY.
332
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,994
TOMORROW YOU TAKE THE TEST.
333
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,596
[all grumbling]
334
00:11:04,598 --> 00:11:05,630
SORRY.
335
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,131
ORDERS FROM ABOVE.
336
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:09,000
I'D SUGGEST
YOU CHEAT OFF YOUR NEIGHBORS,
337
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:13,837
BUT CONSIDERING WHO MOST OF YOU
ARE SITTING NEXT TO--
338
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:17,841
- QUINN, I HOPE THAT SUBSTITUTE
YOU'VE BEEN MAKING EXCUSES FOR
339
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:20,411
WON'T BE HOLDING US TO THE SAME
RIGID GRADING STANDARDS
340
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:21,746
AS EVERYONE ELSE.
341
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:24,249
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD REMIND HER
HOW POPULAR WE ARE.
342
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:25,617
- BUT SHE'S WEIRD.
343
00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:27,919
I DON'T THINK SHE EVEN CARES
ABOUT POPULAR PEOPLE.
344
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:31,022
- SEE, THERE YOU GO,
STICKING UP FOR HER AGAIN.
345
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:34,191
IT'S ALMOST AS IF YOU TWO
SHARE SOME DEEP, DARK SECRET
346
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,760
THAT MIGHT INADVERTENTLY
COME OUT
347
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:42,133
IF TOMORROW'S TEST
PROVES TOO DIFFICULT.
348
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,634
- HEY,
HOW ABOUT ASKING THEM THIS:
349
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,370
IF VERONA
HAD HAD METAL DETECTORS,
350
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,272
WOULD MERCUTIO BE ALIVE TODAY?
351
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:50,275
- IF HE WERE,
HE'D BE ABOUT 400 YEARS OLD.
352
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,542
- THAT'S WHY
THEY'LL ALL GET IT WRONG.
353
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,044
TRICK QUESTION, YEAH!
354
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:57,381
- GEE, I WONDER WHY NO ONE'S
EVER ASKED YOU TO TEACH A CLASS.
355
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,983
- DARIA,
YOU KNOW THE TEST TOMORROW?
356
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:00,084
IT'S GOING TO BE EASY, RIGHT?
357
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,485
BECAUSE IF YOU MAKE IT
REALLY HARD,
358
00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:02,820
SOME POPULAR PEOPLE
WON'T LIKE IT
359
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:03,988
AND MIGHT TAKE IT OUT
360
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:05,890
ON ANOTHER COMPLETELY INNOCENT
POPULAR PERSON.
361
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,092
AND BESIDES,
IT'S GOOD TO HELP THE POPULAR,
362
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,293
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T,
363
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:09,827
IT MIGHT MAKE YOU
EVEN MORE UNPOPULAR.
364
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:11,762
ALTHOUGH I DON'T KNOW
IF SUCH A THING IS POSSIBLE.
365
00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:13,597
- OOH,
WOULDN'T WANT TO RISK THAT.
366
00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:14,765
- SO YOU'LL DO IT?
367
00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:17,268
- RIGHT AFTER
I CHANGE INTO MY FUR BIKINI.
368
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:18,669
- DARIA!
369
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:21,272
- YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T ASK
FOR THIS STUPID TEACHING JOB.
370
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:24,408
I DON'T NEED THE WORK,
AND I DON'T NEED THE STIGMA.
371
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,443
I'VE TRIED
TO MAKE THE CLASS INTERESTING
372
00:12:26,445 --> 00:12:28,880
AND FOCUS ON THE PLAY,
NOT THE GRADES.
373
00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:30,514
AND IF, AFTER ALL THAT,
374
00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:33,017
THE ONLY THING YOUR VAPID
FRIENDS CAN THINK ABOUT
375
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:34,886
IS HOW TO FINESSE
TAKING THE TEST,
376
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,787
THEN THEY DESERVE TO FAIL IT.
377
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:38,723
- DARIA, DO YOU WANT EVERYONE
TO HATE YOU?
378
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:42,627
- HEY, WHY SHOULD YOU GO OUT OF
YOUR WAY TO PROTECT THE STUPID?
379
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,028
YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THEM.
380
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:46,097
- I--I...
381
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,200
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!
382
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:51,068
- HMM, MAYBE YOU
SHOULD MAKE IT EASY.
383
00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:52,203
GIVE THE POOR KIDS A BREAK.
384
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,138
- I LIED ABOUT THE FUR BIKINI.
385
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,507
- DAMN.
386
00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:59,210
- STUPID SMOKE PELLETS
GET STUCK SO DAMN EASY.
387
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:01,312
DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE
REAL SMOKE.
388
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,113
HEY, QUINN!
YOU GOT A HAT PIN?
389
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,381
- A WHAT?
390
00:13:04,383 --> 00:13:06,217
I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR YOUR CRAZY JOKES, DAD.
391
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,086
I HAVE TO STUDY
FOR THIS STUPID TEST
392
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,221
DARIA IS MAKING US TAKE
ON ROMEO AND JULIET.
393
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,923
- HEY!
I REMEMBER THAT PLAY.
394
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,157
SIT DOWN.
395
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:14,759
LET OLD JAKEY
HELP YOU WITH YOUR STUDIES.
396
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:15,860
- [sighs]
397
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,495
- NOW, IF I RECALL,
ROMEO MEETS JULIET
398
00:13:18,497 --> 00:13:20,498
BY THIS BIG, BUBBLY CAULDRON...
399
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,166
- NO, DAD, SHE'S AT THIS PARTY
400
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:23,935
HE CRASHES
WITH HIS FRIEND MERCUTIO.
401
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,603
- RIGHT!
THE LITTLE WOODEN BOY.
402
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,339
- NO, DAD, HE'S ROMEO'S PAL,
403
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:29,874
BUT HE GETS STABBED TO DEATH
BY TYBALT.
404
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,609
- TYBALT?
TYBALT?
405
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:32,977
- SO ROMEO KILLS TYBALT.
406
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,279
AND THEN JULIET'S DAD
SAYS SHE HAS TO MARRY PARIS,
407
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:36,447
SO SHE PRETENDS SHE'S DEAD...
408
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,015
- TYBALT SOUNDS
LIKE THE NAME OF A ROCK.
409
00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:39,450
- AND WHEN PARIS SEES HER--
410
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:40,684
WAIT.
411
00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:42,287
I KNOW THIS STUFF!
412
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,121
UM, GOT TO GO.
THANKS.
413
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:45,156
- ANY TIME.
414
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,357
PARIS?
415
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,958
WAIT, THAT'S
NOT ROMEO AND JULIET.
416
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,295
THAT'S THE PINK PANTHER!
417
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:51,962
DAMN SMOKE PELLET!
418
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:55,533
WHERE DID I PUT THAT HAT PIN?
419
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,968
[whistles]
420
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:10,414
- DON'T THINK
YOU CAN INTIMIATE--
421
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:11,649
INTERMOLATE--
422
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,251
DON'T THINK YOU CAN SCARE ME
423
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:14,652
WITH YOUR THREAT
TO PICKET NAKED.
424
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,120
- YOU THINK I'M BLUFFING?
425
00:14:16,122 --> 00:14:19,590
THIS IS GOODWILL POLYESTER
I'VE BEEN SWEATING IN ALL NIGHT.
426
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,759
I WANT TO PICKET NAKED!
427
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,227
- ALL RIGHT.
428
00:14:23,229 --> 00:14:24,929
A 2% RAISE AND A SPACE HEATER
FOR THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE.
429
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:25,930
- BOY!
430
00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:28,365
IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE!
431
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,268
- NOW, CLASS, SIT UP STRAIGHT,
432
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,537
AND NO TALKING
WHILE YOU TAKE YOUR TEST.
433
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,672
- "NAME THE COLORS
ON THE AMERICAN FLAG."
434
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,006
HEY, NO FAIR!
435
00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:37,375
YOU DIDN'T SAY
WE HAD TO KNOW THAT.
436
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,776
- CUBIE, YOU HUSH.
437
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:40,711
AND POSTURE, CUBIE, POSTURE.
438
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,248
- YES, JAMIE, JOEY, OR JEFFY?
439
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,917
- UM, MY TEST
ONLY HAS ONE QUESTION ON IT.
440
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:48,185
- THAT'S RIGHT.
441
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:50,688
"WHAT IS
ROMEO AND JULIET ABOUT?"
442
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:53,190
JUST WRITE WHAT YOU THINK
AND BACK IT UP.
443
00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:55,192
200 WORDS, MINIMUM.
444
00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:56,561
- AN ESSAY TEST?
445
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,029
- 200 WORDS?
446
00:14:58,031 --> 00:14:58,996
- THINK?
447
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:04,635
- ♪ YOU CALL THIS
COMPENSATION? ♪
448
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,471
♪ YOU KEEP YOUR LONG VACATION ♪
449
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:10,708
♪ YOU'RE FORCING US
TO SALARY ARBITRATION ♪
450
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,576
♪ MAMA SAID STRIKE YOU OUT ♪
451
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:13,577
♪ YEAH! ♪
452
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,713
[cheers and applause]
453
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,481
- MY WORK HERE IS DONE.
454
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:19,983
- WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE SONG,
ANTHONY?
455
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,151
ANTHONY?
456
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:22,152
OH, MY GOSH!
457
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:25,989
HE'S STILL UP THERE WITH MS. LI!
458
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:27,358
ANTHONY?
ANGELA?
459
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,526
ANY PROGRESS?
460
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,961
- OH, NO,
THEY'VE KILLED EACH OTHER!
461
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:33,631
DEAR GOD,
WHEN WILL THE MADNESS STOP?
462
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,499
- OH, PUFFY,
YOU DON'T NEED A WEAPON
463
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,334
TO MAKE ME DO YOUR BIDDING.
464
00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:38,902
HUH?
WHAT?
465
00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:40,204
- OH, THEY'RE NOT DEAD.
466
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:41,239
- WHAT A RELIEF.
467
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,573
GET UP!
- [grunts]
468
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:43,708
- THANK GOD.
469
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,175
I THOUGHT I SIGNED THE CONTRACT,
470
00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:46,677
BUT IT WAS JUST A BAD DREAM.
471
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:47,945
- I KNEW IT!
472
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,580
[sobs]
473
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,616
BUT IT SEEMED SO REAL.
474
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,617
AND YOU WERE THERE,
475
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,451
AND YOU, AND YOU!
476
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:55,586
- WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR HAND?
477
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:56,587
GIVE ME THAT!
478
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:57,788
- THE CONTRACT!
479
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:01,859
ANTHONY, YOU DID IT!
480
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,627
- HERE ARE YOUR TESTS.
481
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,364
I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER
WRITTEN SO MANY "A"s.
482
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:09,934
YOU'RE THE SMARTEST AND BIGGEST
FIRST GRADERS I'VE EVER HAD.
483
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:10,968
- THANKS!
484
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,136
- WHAT A SURPRISE.
485
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,637
AN "A" AND A SILVER STAR.
486
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,972
- DON'T GET
TOO FULL OF YOURSELF.
487
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,140
I GOT A GOLD STAR.
488
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:19,477
- I GOT A GOLD STAR TOO
AND A "C."
489
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,645
OH...
490
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,915
RED, WHITE, AND BLUE!
491
00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:25,416
- HEY, NO FAIR!
492
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,184
HOW COME BRITTANY GOT A STAR
AND I DIDN'T?
493
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:30,088
- BOYS WITH BAD POSTURE
DON'T GET STARS.
494
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:33,424
AND, CUBIE, IT'S NOT NICE
TO TRY TO FOOL THE TEACHER
495
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,093
BY SIGNING YOUR TEST "KEVIN."
496
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,597
- A "B!"
497
00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:42,733
YOU MEAN YOU THINK MERCUTIO
HAD A THING FOR ROMEO TOO?
498
00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:45,069
- NO,
BUT YOU ARGUED YOUR POINT WELL,
499
00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:46,403
AND I THOUGHT YOUR IDEAS
500
00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:49,006
FOR KEEPING HIM OUT OF
THE LOCKER ROOM WERE ORIGINAL,
501
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,575
IF A LITTLE CLOSED-MINDED.
502
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:52,209
- A "D" MINUS?
503
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:54,512
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
QUINN WOULD FAIL US.
504
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,347
- I SHOULD HAVE FAILED YOU TOO.
505
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,549
SEE, IN SHAKESPEARE'S VERSION,
506
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:01,452
ROMEO NEVER GOES BY THE NAME
LEONARDO
507
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:03,454
OR TAKES A SWIM IN HIS CLOTHES,
508
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,156
BUT I GAVE YOU EXTRA CREDIT
509
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:07,291
FOR REALIZING
THAT THE MOVIE AND THE PLAY
510
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:08,792
WERE SOMEHOW CONNECTED.
511
00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:10,794
- I GUESS WE SHOULDN'T HAVE
COPIED EACH OTHER.
512
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:11,862
- HEY!
513
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:12,863
- GEE, QUINN.
514
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,299
WHAT A SURPRISE
YOU GOT A "B" PLUS.
515
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,634
I GUESS HAVING
A CERTAIN RELATIONSHIP
516
00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:20,138
WITH A CERTAIN TEACHER
REALLY PAID OFF.
517
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:23,007
- UM, SANDI, I THOUGHT SHE WAS
FAIRLY EASY ON THE GRADING,
518
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:24,609
AS LONG AS YOU TRIED TO THINK
FOR YOURSELF.
519
00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:25,810
- OH, REALLY?
520
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,578
I GUESS EVERYTHING'S RELATIVE.
521
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,780
- SANDI, EVER SINCE
THEY ASKED THIS GIRL
522
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,449
TO TAKE OVER THE CLASS
FROM THAT CREEPY GUY
523
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:32,750
WHO WANTED TO FERTILIZE TIFFANY,
524
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,485
IT SEEMS TO ME
ALL SHE TRIED TO DO
525
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,687
WAS MAKE THE BEST
OF A BAD SITUATION.
526
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,121
MAYBE WE SHOULD
CUT HER SOME SLACK.
527
00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:39,190
- SEE?
528
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,824
THERE SHE GOES,
TAKING SIDES AGAIN.
529
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:43,060
YOU TWO
ARE SO NICE TO EACH OTHER,
530
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,495
YOU'RE ALMOST LIKE SISTERS.
531
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,830
- I'M NOT TAKING ANYONE'S SIDE,
SANDI.
532
00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:48,199
I'M JUST SAYING THAT SOMETIMES
533
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,334
PEOPLE GET PUT
IN AWKWARD POSITIONS.
534
00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:53,171
LIKE A GIRL WHO HAS TO WEAR
HUGE BRACES IN FIFTH GRADE,
535
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,739
AND YEARS LATER HER BROTHERS
FIND PICTURES OF HER WITH THEM
536
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,275
AND GIVE THOSE PICTURES
TO A FRIEND,
537
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:58,942
WHO HASN'T SHOWN THEM TO ANYONE
538
00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:01,044
OUT OF THE GOODNESS
OF HER HEART...
539
00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:02,045
YET.
540
00:18:02,047 --> 00:18:03,214
- OH.
541
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:04,415
- BESIDES,
542
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,450
WHY SHOULDN'T I
ACT SISTERLY TOWARDS HER?
543
00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:07,884
AFTER ALL...
544
00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:09,153
SHE'S MY SISTER.
545
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:10,154
- [gasps]
546
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:11,155
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
547
00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:12,322
OH, MY GOSH!
548
00:18:12,324 --> 00:18:13,457
QUINN JUST ADMITTED
549
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:14,992
THAT WEIRD GIRL IS HER SISTER.
550
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:17,461
- WELL, UM,
OF COURSE SHE IS, SANDI.
551
00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:18,562
WE KNEW THAT.
552
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:22,967
- WE WERE JUST
BEING POLITE ABOUT IT.
553
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:25,570
- PEOPLE OF MARS!
554
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:28,806
I MEAN,
STUDENTS OF LAWNDALE HIGH.
555
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,007
THIS IS YOUR LEADER--
556
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,008
UM, PRINCIPAL.
557
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,075
WHAT WAS I SAYING?
558
00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:33,076
OH!
559
00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:34,444
THE TEACHERS--
THE TEACHERS--
560
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:35,947
THE STRIKE'S OVER!
561
00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:38,149
YOUR TEACHERS
WILL BE BACK TOMORROW!
562
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,984
GOOD NI--DAY.
563
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:41,285
- UM...MISS DARLENE?
564
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,653
I THINK YOU WERE, UM...
565
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:43,955
YOU WERE A PRETTY GOOD TEACHER.
566
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:46,324
- THANKS, JAMIE, JEFFY, OR JOEY.
567
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:49,994
FOR THE RECORD, SOME OF YOU
AREN'T HALF-BAD STUDENTS.
568
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,763
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
569
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:53,830
[brooding music]
570
00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:55,165
- IT'S QUITE A WEB SIGHT
571
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:57,668
WHEN CIVIL WAR BUFFS
GET IN THE BUFF.
572
00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,770
WWW.GETTYSBARE,
573
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:03,774
NEXT ON SICK, SAD WORLD.
574
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,276
- I ALREADY TOLD YOU,
575
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:08,379
I'M NOT SIGNING YOUR
NATIONAL RAYON DAY PETITION.
576
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,114
- UM...
YOU KNOW THAT GRADE YOU GAVE ME?
577
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,215
SANDI SAYS I ONLY GOT IT
578
00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:12,617
BECAUSE YOU'RE
ALWAYS AT MY HOUSE.
579
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:13,851
IS THAT TRUE?
580
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,219
- LET ME POSE YOU A QUESTION,
GRASSHOPPER.
581
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:18,889
IF I GAVE YOU A GRADE
THAT YOU DIDN'T EARN,
582
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,624
THAT WOULD BE ACTING NICE.
583
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:23,895
COULD I FACE MYSELF
IF I WERE EVER NICE TO YOU?
584
00:19:23,897 --> 00:19:26,297
- REALLY?
I THOUGHT SO.
585
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:27,631
AND BY THE WAY, DON'T THINK
586
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:29,200
I COULD EVER BE NICE TO
YOU EITHER.
587
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:30,568
- I'M FULLY AWARE OF THAT.
588
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,803
- GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT THIS
LITTLE FORAY OF YOURS
589
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:35,373
INTO TEACHER GEEKLAND COST ME
IN SOCIAL STATUS.
590
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,674
- I FEEL YOUR PAIN.
591
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,342
- WELL, GOOD NIGHT, THEN.
592
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,910
- GOOD NIGHT...
593
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,078
SIS.
594
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:46,817
- YES!
595
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:47,818
I ENDURED.
596
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,320
MY WITS DIDN'T FAIL.
597
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:50,888
MY STRENGTH DIDN'T FAIL.
598
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,322
I DIDN'T FAIL!
599
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:54,392
I GOT THAT CONTRACT.
600
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:58,496
AND IF I CAN DO THAT,
I CAN DO ANYTHING...
601
00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,730
EVEN TEACH KEVIN.
602
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,332
SO TELL ME, SONNY BOY,
603
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:04,768
WHICH WAR FREED US FROM
THE IRON HAND OF BRITISH RULE?
604
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:05,769
- IRON...
605
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:06,837
IRON...
606
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:10,007
THE GOLF WAR?
607
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,309
- [weeping]
608
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,010
- MR. DEMARTINO?
609
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,312
DO YOU WANT TO SHARE?
610
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,680
- THE JOY OF TEACHING
611
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:17,348
DIDN'T LAST VERY LONG
WITH THIS ONE.
612
00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:19,683
- YOU GOT TO GRAB IT
WHILE YOU CAN.
613
00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:23,954
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
614
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:26,891
Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com
615
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:34,532
♪ ♪
616
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:36,234
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
617
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:39,202
♪ ♪
618
00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:40,638
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
619
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:44,041
♪ ♪
620
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:45,543
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
621
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:47,478
♪ ♪