1 00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:03,501 - ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪ 2 00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:05,571 ♪ THIS IS MY STOP ♪ 3 00:00:05,573 --> 00:00:08,073 ♪ GOT TO GET OFF ♪ 4 00:00:08,075 --> 00:00:10,242 ♪ I MAY GO POP ♪ 5 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,778 EXCUSE ME. 6 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:13,879 EXCUSE ME. 7 00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,180 [whistle blows] 8 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:18,517 ♪ I'VE GOT TO BE DIRECT ♪ 9 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,051 ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪ 10 00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:23,288 ♪ IF I'M WRONG, PLEASE CORRECT ♪ 11 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,889 ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪ 12 00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:28,160 ♪ YOU'RE STANDING ON MY NECK ♪ 13 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,761 ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪ 14 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:32,997 ♪ YOU'RE STANDING ON MY NECK ♪ 15 00:00:32,999 --> 00:00:34,700 ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪ 16 00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:39,637 ♪ YOU'RE STANDING ON MY NECK ♪ 17 00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:42,073 ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪ 18 00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:44,476 ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪ 19 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,323 - GOD, THIS IS DULL. 20 00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:00,725 SO MUCH FOR MY SILLY CHILDHOOD DREAM 21 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,128 OF BECOMING A SUPPLY-SIDE ECONOMIST. 22 00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:04,529 - AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT READING KANT. 23 00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:06,764 THIS GUY GIVES DRY, PONDEROUS INTELLECTUALS A BAD NAME. 24 00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:08,533 - SPEAKING OF INTELLECTUALS. 25 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:11,003 - UGH, I JUST HAD THE WORST DATE OF MY LIFE. 26 00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:13,071 NOT ONLY DID HE WEAR WHITE PANTS, 27 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,740 HIS CAR CD PLAYER SKIPPED, 28 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,008 AND IF THAT WEREN'T BAD ENOUGH, 29 00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,842 HE SPENT THE WHOLE DINNER TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF 30 00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:19,544 AND THEN ACCUSED ME OF NOT PAYING ATTENTION 31 00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:21,379 JUST BECAUSE I HAD TO QUICKLY CHECK MY LIPSTICK 32 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:22,380 IN THE BUTTER KNIFE. 33 00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:23,982 WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 34 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:26,517 - TO CHECK OUR MASCARA IN THE SALAD TONGS. 35 00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:27,785 - BUT YOU CAN'T GO. 36 00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:29,087 I REALLY NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO, 37 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,223 AND ALL THE NORMAL PEOPLE ARE OUT ON DATES. 38 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:34,592 - OH, WELL, YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BARGE IN ON SOMEONE'S DATE. 39 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:35,594 - EXACTLY. 40 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:36,595 TIFFANY? 41 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,330 I HAD THE WORST EVENING. 42 00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,766 FINE, HURRY UP AND ORDER DESSERT. 43 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:43,769 - SO YOU SEE, TOBY, A TOP-NOTCH MARKETING CONSULTANT 44 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,204 COULD REALLY BEEF UP YOUR BUSINESS. 45 00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:47,539 - ER, JAKE, WE'RE A SUSHI BAR. 46 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,374 DON'T YOU MEAN "FISH UP MY BUSINESS"? 47 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,042 [both laugh] 48 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,511 HERE, HAVE SOME MORE SAKE. 49 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:53,812 - DON'T MIND IF I DO. 50 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,013 - JAKE, HAVEN'T YOU HAD-- 51 00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:56,648 - HEY, HELEN, WHY AREN'T YOU EATING? 52 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:59,351 NOT TRYING TO KEEP YOUR GIRLISH FIGURE AT YOUR AGE, ARE YOU? 53 00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:00,385 [both laugh] 54 00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:01,386 - [mock laughter] 55 00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:02,921 ACTUALLY, I HAD A LATE LUNCH... 56 00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:07,626 [under breath] FOLLOWED BY AN INSUFFERABLE DINNER. 57 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:10,395 [distant rock music] 58 00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:11,396 - WHAT IS THAT? 59 00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:13,265 - EITHER A TRAVELING BAND OF EUNUCHS, 60 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:18,770 OR QUINN'S FIGURED OUT HOW TO TURN ON THE RADIO. 61 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,705 - GOD, DARIA, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME 62 00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:21,906 THINGS WERE SO BAD AT HOME? 63 00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:23,742 - I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO WORRY. 64 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:33,652 - OOPS. 65 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:34,919 - OH, GOD. 66 00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:36,921 WE'VE GOT TO GET YOU THE HELL OUT OF HERE. 67 00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:38,023 - [whispering] WORKS FOR ME. 68 00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,124 [door creaking] 69 00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:41,993 I'LL GO MYSELF. IT'LL BE QUIETER. 70 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,128 [door creaking] 71 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,333 - I'M STARVING. 72 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:49,801 SUSHI SUCKS. 73 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:50,969 SAKE ROCKS. 74 00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:53,205 HEY, GOT TO REMEMBER THAT. [belches] 75 00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,106 WHERE'S THE LASOONY? 76 00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,410 [door sticking] 77 00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,044 HEY. - MR. MORGENDORFFER. 78 00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:01,546 I CAN EXPLAIN. - TOM. 79 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:04,282 OH, HEY, YOU KNOW, THAT DOOR STICKS ON ME TOO. 80 00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:05,216 LET ME GET IT FOR YOU. 81 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,656 HEY, YOU EVER TRY ANY OF THAT SAKE? 82 00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:12,991 IT SUCKS-- I MEAN, ROCKS. 83 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,326 - UM...NO. 84 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,694 YOU KNOW, THE AGE THING. 85 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,497 - OH, YEAH. GOOD FOR YOU. 86 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:22,201 NICE GUY, THAT TOM. 87 00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:24,169 - NO WONDER YOU CAN'T SLEEP. 88 00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:26,004 TOKYO TOBY'S IS POISON. 89 00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:27,939 - IS NOT. 90 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,776 HEY, I FORGOT TO OFFER TOM SOME LASAN-Y. 91 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,043 - WHAT? 92 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,111 - DAMN. 93 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:35,647 ONE, ONE THOUSAND. TWO, ONE THOUSAND. 94 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:36,748 THREE... 95 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,283 - DARIA, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW. 96 00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:39,684 - ONE THOUSAND. 97 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,287 - ALL RIGHT, DARIA. 98 00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:44,422 I GUESS I CAN BELIEVE YOUR STORY. 99 00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:46,091 THOUGH IT SEEMS PRETTY FAR-FETCHED TO ME 100 00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,593 THAT TWO TEENAGERS WITH RAGING HORMONES-- 101 00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,295 - MY HORMONES DON'T RAGE. 102 00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:52,597 OH, SURE, THEY GET MAD SOMETIMES, 103 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,633 BUT THEN THEY JUST STOP SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER. 104 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:57,402 - ALL RIGHT. SO YOU WEREN'T, YOU KNOW-- 105 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,871 - I CERTAINLY DO KNOW, AND NO. 106 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,138 - THEN TELL ME ONCE AGAIN 107 00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:03,742 WHY TOM WAS SLIPPING OUT THE DOOR AT 4:00 A.M. 108 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:04,743 LIKE A COMMON CRIMINAL. 109 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:05,743 - PHONE. 110 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,312 - GEE, COULD THE SNEAKING AROUND 111 00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:09,080 HAVE BEEN PART OF A FUTILE ATTEMPT 112 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,483 TO AVOID AN UNNECESSARY ALL-NIGHT LECTURE 113 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:12,651 ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY? 114 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,520 - ALL RIGHT, I ADMIT I WAS A LITTLE UPSET, 115 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,889 BUT I'M SURE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN A MOTHER 116 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,024 SEES HER DAUGHTER, 117 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,826 HER LITTLE BABY GIRL TO WHOM SHE GAVE LIFE-- 118 00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:23,762 - NOTHING HAPPENED. I'D TELL YOU IF IT DID. 119 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,530 - YOU WOULD? REALLY? 120 00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:29,301 - UM...ANYWAY, YOU BELIEVE ME, RIGHT? 121 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,803 - STACY. STACY. 122 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,472 I CAN'T TALK ANY LOUDER, YOU DOPE. 123 00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:37,575 I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU MY SISTER HAD A GUY IN HER ROOM ALL NIGHT! 124 00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:39,444 - [moaning] 125 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:42,180 - SERIOUSLY, DARIA, IF THE TIME COMES 126 00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,349 WHEN YOU DECIDE THAT-- YOU KNOW-- 127 00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,151 I HOPE YOU WILL COME TO ME FIRST. 128 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,452 - UM, WHAT? 129 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,720 - NOT THAT I WOULD EVER TRY TO TALK YOU OUT OF IT, 130 00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:51,990 WHICH IS NOT TO SAY I'M TRYING TO TALK YOU INTO IT. 131 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,858 IT'S JUST THAT I'D LIKE TO HAVE THE CHANCE 132 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,128 TO DISCUSS THINGS WITH YOU FIRST. 133 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:58,163 I ONLY WISH I COULD HAVE GONE TO MY MOTHER 134 00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:00,031 BEFORE I MADE SUCH AN AWFUL MISTAKE. 135 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,600 WHAT IS IT ABOUT STUNT DRIVERS 136 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:04,035 THAT MAKES OTHERWISE LEVEL-HEADED TEENAGE GIRLS 137 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,136 JUST WHIP OFF THEIR-- 138 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,170 - OKAY. OKAY. 139 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:08,072 UM...I'VE GOT TO STUDY. 140 00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:09,775 BIG TEST. BIG TEST. 141 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,877 - HELEN, I THINK I'VE GOT SOMETHING IN MY THROAT. 142 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:13,311 CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING DOWN THERE? 143 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,946 AH. 144 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,282 DARIA, I, UH-- 145 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:21,320 - JAKE, NOTHING HAPPENED. 146 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:22,287 - [sighs] 147 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,859 THE PROBLEM WITH GOING TO RESTAURANTS 148 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,360 IS THAT THEY'RE NOT IN MY ROOM. 149 00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:30,528 - I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 150 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,130 I HAVE THE SAME ISSUE WITH HIKING TRAILS. 151 00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,331 - MY, MY, MY. 152 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,767 IS THAT THE LOVELY MISS MORGENDORFFER? 153 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:39,337 - CONGRATULATIONS. YOU'VE PASSED YOUR VISION TEST. 154 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,740 PLEASE PROCEED TO LINE "B" FOR YOUR WRITTEN. 155 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:45,744 - AND YOU'VE PASSED YOUR ADMISSION TEST TO CLUB D'AMORE. 156 00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:48,613 PLEASE CHECK YOUR INHIBITIONS AT THE DOOR. 157 00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,215 [purrs] 158 00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:51,516 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? 159 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,618 - HIS PARENTS FORGOT TO PUT DECALS 160 00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,320 ON THE SLIDING GLASS DOORS. 161 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,355 - HEY, DARIA'S GUY. WAIT TO GO, MAN. 162 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,390 - EXCUSE ME? 163 00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,559 - YOU KNOW, YOU DID THE WILD WALK, 164 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,727 MADE A TOUCHDOWN, SIGNED THE DEED. 165 00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:05,897 - TONIGHT'S BABEL CHAT WAS HOSTED BY KEVIN THOMPSON. 166 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:09,334 - OH, DARIA, NOW WE CAN HAVE WOMANLY TALKS. 167 00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:11,202 - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU RANTING ABOUT? 168 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,837 - YOU KNOW. 169 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:16,641 - LET'S GO, BABE, AND LEAVE THE LOVE-BABES ALONE. 170 00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,476 - THAT WAS WEIRD, EVEN FOR THEM. 171 00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:19,944 - WE'D BETTER GET OUT OF HERE 172 00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:23,281 BEFORE THE PARMESAN FUMES GET TO US TOO. 173 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,886 - DAMN IT, HELEN, I KNOW THERE'S SOMETHING CRAWLING UP MY THROAT, 174 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,186 AND I THINK IT'S A PARASITE 175 00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,890 COURTESY OF TOKYO TOBY'S PARASITE RESTAURANT. 176 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,225 IF I STAND STILL, I CAN EVEN FEEL IT LAUGHING INSIDE OF ME. 177 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,861 - NOW YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS. 178 00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:38,130 EVEN IF THAT HORRIBLE SUSHI DID HAVE A PARASITE, 179 00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,898 IT COULDN'T HAVE SURVIVED THAT MUCH SAKE. 180 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,367 - DARIA, I, UM, UH-- 181 00:06:43,369 --> 00:06:46,370 - YOUR FATHER THINKS HE PICKED UP A PARASITE EATING SUSHI. 182 00:06:46,372 --> 00:06:49,374 - YOU MEAN THE KIND THAT DRILL THROUGH YOUR INTESTINES, 183 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:52,310 TWISTING AND TURNING AND DRIVING YOU SLOWLY INSANE 184 00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:54,045 UNTIL THEY GROW EIGHT FEET LONG 185 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:56,114 AND CORKSCREW OUT THROUGH YOUR VITAL ORGANS? 186 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,349 - DARIA. 187 00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:59,984 - HELP ME, HELEN, BEFORE THE MADNESS SETS IN. 188 00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,353 - ANY FURTHER. - DARIA. 189 00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:02,820 [phone ringing] 190 00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,822 - HELLO? OH, TOBY. 191 00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:07,892 LISTEN, ABOUT YOUR SO-CALLED FRESH SUSHI-- 192 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,193 I GOT THE JOB? 193 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:10,995 HOW MUCH? WOW! 194 00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,930 I MEAN, I THINK I COULD LIVE WITH THAT. 195 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,599 SEE YOU TOMORROW. 196 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,167 HELEN, I GOT THE JOB. 197 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,969 - AND ALL THE PARASITES YOU CAN EAT. 198 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,971 - PARASITES? YOU KNOW, YOU WERE RIGHT. 199 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,739 IT'S PROBABLY JUST A SORE THROAT. 200 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:23,407 I THINK I'M GONNA THROW UP. 201 00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:29,915 [phone ringing] 202 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:30,982 - HEY. 203 00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,684 - AH, I'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOUR CALL. 204 00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,185 - HUH? - ALL RIGHT, I'M LISTENING. 205 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:37,155 BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE, AT LEAST SPARE ME THE SQUISHIER DETAILS 206 00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,357 AND THE RAPTUROUS DECLARATIONS OF UNDYING LOVE. 207 00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,526 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - WHAT ARE YOU? 208 00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,762 - I WAS HOPING YOU COULD TELL ME. 209 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:46,164 TOM AND I RAN INTO SOME PEOPLE FROM SCHOOL, 210 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:49,267 AND THEY KEPT ALLUDING TO-- I'M ALMOST AFRAID TO GUESS WHAT. 211 00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:50,468 IS SOMETHING GOING ON? 212 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,938 - COME ON, DARIA. YOU KNOW. - KNOW WHAT? 213 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,141 - YOU DON'T KNOW? - WHAT? JUST TELL ME. 214 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:59,277 - WELL, THERE'S THIS RUMOR GOING AROUND 215 00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,746 THAT YOU AND TOM... SLEPT TOGETHER. 216 00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:02,747 - HUH? 217 00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,315 - AND THAT YOUR FATHER WALKED IN RIGHT-- 218 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,750 WELL, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THINGS. 219 00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:07,185 - OH, MY GOD. 220 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,655 - AND, DARIA, SINCE WHEN DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF BLACK HIGH HEELS? 221 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,867 - THAT'S NOT RIGHT EITHER. 222 00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:26,137 OH, THE CURSE OF HAVING TWO GOOD SHOULDERS. 223 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:28,272 DARIA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? 224 00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:31,276 - I WANT TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU TOLD EVERYONE AT SCHOOL 225 00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:32,476 ABOUT ME AND TOM. 226 00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:33,611 - I DIDN'T SAY A WORD. 227 00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:35,747 BESIDES, I SWORE STACY TO SECRECY, 228 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,281 BUT THEN SHE TOLD SANDY AND TIFFANY, 229 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:39,450 SO IF YOU'RE MAD AT ANYONE, IT SHOULD BE STACY AND NOT ME. 230 00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:40,452 - UH-HUH. 231 00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:42,052 LOOK, DAMN IT, NOTHING HAPPENED-- 232 00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:43,354 - STOP! 233 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,156 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY OF THE SORDID DETAILS. 234 00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:46,558 I DON'T CARE WHAT COUPLE PEOPLE DO. 235 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,992 - AND I'M TELLING YOU, NOTHING-- 236 00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:49,494 - OKAY. OKAY. 237 00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:51,162 LOOK, I GOT TO, UM, GO SHOPPING. 238 00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:52,831 BIG SALE. BIG SALE. 239 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:55,901 - QUINN, LISTEN TO ME FOR ONE-- - HALF OFF. GOT TO GO. BYE. 240 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,005 - CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? 241 00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:02,507 - SURE, WHAT'S UP? 242 00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:06,111 - UM...YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD THE RUMOR ABOUT ME AND TOM. 243 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:07,646 - HEY, IT'S NO BIG DEAL, RIGHT? 244 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:08,913 THIS ISN'T THE '50s, 245 00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:10,949 WHEN WOMEN HAD TO WORRY ABOUT THEIR REPUTATIONS. 246 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,283 - BUT IT'S NOT TRUE. 247 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:15,453 I NEVER SLEPT WITH TOM, AND I DON'T OWN ANY HIGH HEELS. 248 00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,054 I DON'T EVEN OWN ANY LOW HEELS. 249 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,890 - DARIA, IT'S OKAY, REALLY. 250 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,492 BESIDES, YOU AND TOM HAVE BEEN GOING OUT FOR SO LONG, 251 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:22,860 I'D THINK BY NOW YOU'D WANT 252 00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:25,396 TO DO MORE THAN JUST HOLD HANDS...RIGHT? 253 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,464 - UM... 254 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,466 - HEY, SEX IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF 255 00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:29,734 AS LONG AS YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE. 256 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:33,003 - SO THEN YOU AND MACK HAVE... BEEN RESPONSIBLE? 257 00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:35,673 - UM, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO DISCUSS THAT RIGHT NOW. 258 00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:36,807 - I UNDERSTAND. 259 00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:38,443 - I PROMISE, SOON AS MY PARENTS ARE DEAD, 260 00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,545 I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT. 261 00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:44,615 - OKAY, JUST SO LONG AS THERE'S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. 262 00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:47,852 AND I THOUGHT THE WHOLE POINT OF BEING UNPOPULAR 263 00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:50,555 WAS THAT NO ONE KNOWS YOU EXIST OR TALKS ABOUT YOU. 264 00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:52,089 - IT'S BEEN A SLOW NEWS WEEK. 265 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,592 DON'T WORRY, THEY'LL GO BACK TO NOT RECOGNIZING YOU SOON ENOUGH. 266 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:55,960 - EASY FOR YOU TO SAY. 267 00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:58,830 YOU NEVER HAD A RUMOR CIRCULATING AROUND SCHOOL 268 00:09:58,832 --> 00:09:59,997 THAT YOU SLEPT WITH SOMEONE. 269 00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:01,299 - WELL, IF THAT EVER DOES HAPPEN, 270 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,167 I HOPE THE GUY'S A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER. 271 00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,269 LOOK, WHY DOES THIS BOTHER YOU SO MUCH, ANYWAY? 272 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,404 IT CAN'T BE YOU'RE WORRIED KEVIN WON'T RESPECT YOU. 273 00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:09,874 - NO, I GUESS IT'S THE ASSUMPTION 274 00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,375 THAT IF YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP, 275 00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:12,544 YOU'RE HAVING SEX. 276 00:10:12,546 --> 00:10:13,678 SO IF YOU'RE NOT, 277 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,846 DOES THAT MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP ANY LESS OF ONE? 278 00:10:15,848 --> 00:10:18,750 - I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE JUMPED TOM WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE. 279 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:19,917 KIDDING. 280 00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:21,386 I TOLD YOU, I'M WAITING TILL COLLEGE, 281 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:22,953 11:00 A.M. ON MOVE-IN DAY. 282 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,288 - AT LEAST YOU'VE GOT A PLAN. 283 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,057 - ANYWAY, BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP 284 00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,159 CAN'T POSSIBLY HINGE ON PHYSICAL INTIMACY, 285 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,295 'CAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR PARENTS ARE STILL DOING IT. 286 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,030 - WHICH IS ABSURD. - NO CHANCE. 287 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,631 - I'D JOIN THE CIRCUS. - RIGHT BEHIND YOU. 288 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,935 - THANKS FOR YOUR INSIGHT. - WHAT I'M HERE FOR. 289 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:39,838 - YOU REALLY THINK ONCE SOME NEW RUMOR COMES ALONG 290 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,106 EVERYONE WILL FORGET ABOUT ME AND TOM? 291 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:43,107 - I'M SURE OF IT. 292 00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:45,476 - GOOD, BECAUSE MY SISTER'S GOT 293 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,513 A RARE FORM OF MALAYSIAN TOENAIL FUNGUS. 294 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,347 - OOH, THAT CAN BE TERMINAL. 295 00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:54,019 - WHOA, THAT IS ONE HELL OF A PARASITE. 296 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:57,221 NOW HOLD ON. ONE, TWO, THREE. 297 00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:58,589 - [screams] 298 00:10:58,591 --> 00:10:59,657 - HERE. TAKE A LOOK. 299 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:00,825 - EW. 300 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,327 UM, MUST HAVE GOTTEN IT 301 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,428 FROM THAT DAMN FOOD-ROTTING TUPPERWARE. 302 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,930 - TUPPERWARE? I DON'T THINK SO. 303 00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:07,365 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SUSHI? 304 00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,200 - LAST WEEKEND AT TOKYO TOBY'S. 305 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,702 - TOKYO TOBY'S? 306 00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:11,969 WHEN IS THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT 307 00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,871 GOING TO SHUT THAT WORM FACTORY DOWN? 308 00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,473 THIS IS THE THIRD ANISAKID I'VE SEEN 309 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:16,907 COME OUT OF THAT PLACE IN TWO MONTHS. 310 00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:18,910 - OH. 311 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,678 - CAN ANGER MANAGEMENT TRAINING 312 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,147 REALLY HELP GORILLAS AVOID EXTINCTION? 313 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:25,950 MAYBE, BUT IT'S NOT DOING MUCH FOR THE PSYCHIATRISTS. 314 00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:28,586 "THE APES OF WRATH," TODAY ON SICK, SAD WORLD. 315 00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:29,621 - ARE YOU OKAY? 316 00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:30,955 YOU HARDLY SAID A WORD 317 00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,890 WHEN THE MONSTER ATTACKED THE GIRLS' SWIM TEAM, 318 00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:35,860 ALL THOSE VITAL ORGANS BOBBING AROUND IN THE WATER. 319 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,829 - I KNOW I SHOULDN'T LET IT BOTHER ME, 320 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,831 BUT THERE'S THIS RUMOR GOING AROUND SCHOOL 321 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,499 THAT YOU AND I SLEPT TOGETHER. 322 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:42,700 - REALLY? 323 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,368 CAN WE GET THAT RUMOR STARTED AT MY SCHOOL? 324 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,703 - IT'S NOT FUNNY. - COME ON, DARIA. 325 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,539 SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK? 326 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,841 - IT'S NOT THAT...SO MUCH. 327 00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:53,011 IT'S JUST THAT THE IMPLICATION IS, WELL, 328 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,345 TO BE REALLY CLOSE, 329 00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:57,281 COUPLES NEED PHYSICAL AS WELL AS EMOTIONAL INTIMACY. 330 00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,016 - BOY, PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE ANYTHING. 331 00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:02,587 LOOK, YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T READY, SO OKAY. 332 00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:05,089 - OH, FINE. JUST TAKE ME AT MY WORD. 333 00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:06,558 - THAT IS WHAT YOU SAID, RIGHT? 334 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,726 I MEAN, CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, PLEASE. 335 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,796 - HEY, FAR BE IT FROM ME TO PRESSURE YOU INTO ANYTHING. 336 00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:14,065 - DARIA, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO, REMEMBER? 337 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,400 I BACKED OFF 'CAUSE I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED, 338 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,269 BUT I CAN BE PERSUADED OTHERWISE. 339 00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,437 SEE? ALL DONE. 340 00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:21,705 - OKAY, FINE. 341 00:12:21,707 --> 00:12:24,309 IN THE INTEREST OF MOVING OUR RELATIONSHIP FORWARD 342 00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:26,010 AND TAKING IT TO A NEW, DEEPER LEVEL, 343 00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:28,746 I'VE DECIDED I'M READY TOO, DAMN IT. 344 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,248 - REALLY? ARE YOU SURE? 345 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,116 - SURE, I'M SURE. 346 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:35,419 OF COURSE, THERE'S THE ISSUE OF...YOU KNOW. 347 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,488 - NO PROBLEM. I'VE GOT ONE RIGHT HERE. 348 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:38,923 YOU KNOW, MY PARENTS WON'T BE HOME-- 349 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,858 - WAIT, YOU JUST CARRY ONE OF THOSE THINGS AROUND? 350 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,226 - WISHFUL THINKING? 351 00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:44,395 - GOD, GUYS ARE ALL THE SAME. 352 00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:45,529 - WHAT, RESPONSIBLE? 353 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:48,366 - YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE ARE RUSHING INTO THIS. 354 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,501 FORGET I BROUGHT IT UP. 355 00:12:49,503 --> 00:12:51,669 - FORGET YOU BROUGHT IT UP? JEEZ. 356 00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,971 - HEY, I DIDN'T EXPECT TO BE PUT ON THE SPOT. 357 00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:55,506 - I THOUGHT YOU JUST SAID YOU WANTED TO. 358 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,508 - NOT SO MUCH THAT I'M RUNNING AROUND TOWN 359 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,611 WITH A NEON BIRTH CONTROL DEVICE IN MY PURSE. 360 00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,713 - LOOK, I'VE BEEN A GOOD GUY ABOUT THIS. 361 00:13:01,715 --> 00:13:02,714 YOU SAID YOU'RE READY, 362 00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:04,148 SO I TRIED TO BE CONSCIENTIOUS, 363 00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,516 AND NOW YOU DON'T WANT TO AGAIN. 364 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:06,751 MAKE UP YOUR MIND. 365 00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:07,885 AND IT'S NOT NEON. 366 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,121 - I'M READY. 367 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,956 - YOU'RE SURE? - POSITIVE. 368 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,991 - UM, OKAY. 369 00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:17,194 WHEN WERE YOU THINKING, UM, WE WOULD, YOU KNOW? 370 00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:20,431 - UM, ANYTIME. BUT NOT RIGHT NOW. 371 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,200 - UM, OKAY. 372 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:25,603 - IT'S DEFINITELY NOT NEON, RIGHT? 373 00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,914 SO, UM, SHOULD WE PICK A DATE? 374 00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:38,983 - WELL, MY PARENTS ARE GOING OUT OF TOWN NEXT WEEKEND. 375 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:39,984 HOW ABOUT THEN? 376 00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,487 - NO FAIR. HOME COURT ADVANTAGE. 377 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,788 - FINE. YOUR PLACE. 378 00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,990 - LIKE I'D EVER FIND ALL THE MICROPHONES 379 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,758 MOM'S HIDDEN AROUND MY ROOM. 380 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,994 - THE RENDEZVOUS MOTEL? YOU KNOW, ON ROUTE SIX. 381 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,730 - GEE, DON'T MAKE ME FEEL TOO SPECIAL. 382 00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:54,465 - ALL RIGHT, THE BOATHOUSE AT THE LAKE 383 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,501 WITH THE STARS, THE MOON, THE WATER? 384 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,836 - AND THE MOSQUITOES, THE SPLINTERS, 385 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,104 THE SECURITY PATROL? 386 00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:02,039 - OKAY, HOW ABOUT MARS THEN, 387 00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:05,309 SOON AS THAT WHOLE COLONIZATION THING GETS GOING? 388 00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:08,479 - YOUR ROOM, NEXT SATURDAY NIGHT AT 8:00. 389 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,051 - YO, KINKY SHOE GIRL, GOOD NEWS. 390 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:15,553 THE MALAYSIAN FUNGUS HAS YOUR SISTER DOWN TO THREE TOES, 391 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,522 AND ONE OF THEM IS DANGLING. 392 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,956 - THAT'S SO SAD. 393 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:22,427 - YEAH, AND THAT HOT NEWS FLASH FROM THE LAWNDALE GOSSIP MILL 394 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,662 HAS LEFT YOU AND TOM IN THE PROVERBIAL DUST. 395 00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:28,032 NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE ANYMORE, OR LACK THEREOF. 396 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:31,335 - UM, MAKE THAT FORMER LACK THEREOF. 397 00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:32,470 - DARIA! 398 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:35,440 - OR RATHER, FUTURE FORMER LACK THEREOF. 399 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,775 - OH. SO WHEN? 400 00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:39,777 - SOON. THIS WEEKEND. 401 00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:40,844 - AH. 402 00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:42,980 YOU SEEM A TAD-- WHAT'S THE WORD? 403 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,148 SCARED WITLESS. 404 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,884 - OKAY, SO I AM A LITTLE VERY NERVOUS. 405 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,152 - OF COURSE YOU ARE. 406 00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,788 THIS IS A BIG DECISION, A DEFINING MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE. 407 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:53,224 - OH, GOOD. THAT'S NOT TOO MUCH PRESSURE. 408 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,760 - OR POSSIBLY JUST ANOTHER ADOLESCENT EMBARRASSMENT 409 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,394 YOU'LL NEED TO REPRESS IN ADULTHOOD 410 00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:58,830 JUST TO GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING. 411 00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:00,131 - HUH. 412 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:03,400 SO FAR, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING AFTER MY 12TH BIRTHDAY. 413 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:07,338 UM, YOU DON'T THINK THAT'LL REALLY HAPPEN, DO YOU? 414 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,274 - NO, NO, IT'S GONNA BE GREAT. 415 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,208 WELL, THEN, CONGRATULATIONS 416 00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:13,745 OR WHATEVER THEY SAY IN SITUATIONS LIKE THESE. 417 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,280 - I THINK IT'S "S.O.S." 418 00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:21,085 - YOU SAID I WAS BEING RIDICULOUS. 419 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,820 YOU SAID IT COULDN'T BE A PARASITE. 420 00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:25,623 - OKAY, JAKE. YOU WERE RIGHT. I WAS WRONG. 421 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,659 - OH, SWEET MUSIC TO MY EARS. 422 00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:29,393 - WHICH ONLY PROVES THAT I WAS RIGHT 423 00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:32,263 ABOUT TOKYO TOBY'S BEING POISON IN THE FIRST PLACE. 424 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,065 - OH, YEAH. 425 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,868 UM, DARIA. 426 00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:40,404 - DARIA. HI. ANYTHING NEW? 427 00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:42,840 - WELL, YOU DIDN'T HEAR IT FROM ME, 428 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,777 BUT QUINN'S PLAYED HER LAST GAME OF THIS LITTLE PIGGY. 429 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,912 - HMM, IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT. 430 00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,380 AREN'T YOU GOING OUT WITH TOM? 431 00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:52,182 - SORRY. ONLY ONE QUESTION PER CUSTOMER. 432 00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:53,718 PLEASE TRY AGAIN TOMORROW. 433 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,553 - DARIA, ABOUT THAT TALK WE WERE GOING TO HAVE. 434 00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:58,989 WE DON'T HAVE TO WAIT. WE COULD HAVE IT-- 435 00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:01,625 - NO, NO, THE END OF TIME IS FINE FOR ME, 436 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,894 AND SPEAKING OF THE TIME-- 437 00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:05,329 - OKAY, EVEN IF YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT TOBY'S, 438 00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:06,898 I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE PARASITE, 439 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,632 AND IT WAS A DOUBLE-WIDE PARASITE, 440 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,667 SO THAT MAKES ME DOUBLY RIGHT. 441 00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:13,671 - JAKE, NOT NOW. I'M TALKING TO DARIA. 442 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,939 DARIA? 443 00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:23,014 - GOD. SATURDAY ALREADY? 444 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,950 - [whistling] 445 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:38,963 - WHEN IS QUINN GOING TO STOP STORING HER NAIL POLISH IN THE-- 446 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,165 OOH, SUNRISE SUBLIME. 447 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,100 [phone ringing] 448 00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:47,271 HELLO? OH, HI, TOM. 449 00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:50,407 DARIA? NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN HER. 450 00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:52,310 SURE, I'LL TELL HER. 451 00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,111 BYE. 452 00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,980 DARIA, IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 453 00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,416 - SURE. FINE. NEVER BEEN BETTER. 454 00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,385 - YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER KNOWN YOU NOT TO WANT TO SPEAK TO TOM 455 00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:03,654 OR WEAR SLICKY FINGERS NAIL POLISH. 456 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:06,958 - UM, I BELIEVE YOU SHOULD TRY EVERYTHING ONCE, 457 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,927 NO MATTER HOW UNMISTAKABLY STUPID IT IS. 458 00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,129 ALMOST EVERYTHING. 459 00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:13,797 ANYWAY, GOT TO GO. LOT OF HOMEWORK. 460 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:15,767 BIG ESSAY DUE. BIG ESSAY. 461 00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:19,003 - I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE SEEING TOM TONIGHT. 462 00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:21,272 DARIA? 463 00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:22,740 - [blowing] 464 00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:27,545 I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. 465 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,452 DARIA. 466 00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:38,322 - DEAR TOM, I'M SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT, 467 00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:40,624 BUT WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR THE 50TH TIME, 468 00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,527 I REALIZED I'M JUST NOT READY. 469 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,062 PLEASE LET THIS LETTER SERVE AS MY ACCEPTANCE 470 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,664 OF THE INEVITABLE BREAKUP. 471 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,065 DARIA. 472 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,366 - DAMN. 473 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,440 - OH. UM, YOU GOT MY NOTE? 474 00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,975 - DARIA, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? 475 00:17:57,977 --> 00:17:59,710 - I CAN'T HELP IT IF I'M NOT READY. 476 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,178 I CAN'T CHANGE THE WAY I FEEL. 477 00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,647 - NOT THAT. 478 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:05,049 I MEAN, HOW COULD YOU DUMP ME WITHOUT EVEN TALKING IT OVER? 479 00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:08,019 - LOOK, WE BOTH AGREED THAT SLEEPING TOGETHER 480 00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:09,119 WOULD BRING US CLOSER, 481 00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:12,023 SO NOT DOING IT MUST BE DRIVING US APART. 482 00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:13,791 - NO, YOU SAID IT WOULD BRING US CLOSER, 483 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:16,060 AND I SAID, "FINE, IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU FEEL." 484 00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:18,395 I WASN'T PUSHING THIS. YOU WERE, REMEMBER? 485 00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:20,164 I WAS PERFECTLY HAPPY WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP 486 00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,165 JUST THE WAY IT WAS. 487 00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:22,834 - PERFECTLY HAPPY? 488 00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:26,037 - OKAY, VERY CONTENT. THE POINT IS, YOU'RE NOT READY. 489 00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:28,039 I UNDERSTAND. 490 00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:31,175 - NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. IT'S NOT THAT I'M NOT READY. 491 00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,476 IT'S THAT I'M SCARED. 492 00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:34,946 - SAME THING. - NO, IT'S NOT THE SAME THING. 493 00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:36,880 I JUST ADMITTED THAT I'M SCARED. 494 00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:39,016 THE THOUGHT OF THAT MUCH INTIMACY, 495 00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:40,885 IT'S JUST OVERWHELMING TO ME. 496 00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,419 - OH. 497 00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:44,989 DARIA, YOU KNOW I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING 498 00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:46,423 TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. 499 00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:49,726 - AND EVEN IF I COULD HANDLE IT, WHAT IF YOU WERE DISAPPOINTED? 500 00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:51,529 OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP COULD BE RUINED. 501 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:52,997 - YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX 502 00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:55,065 BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID IT'LL HURT OUR RELATIONSHIP, 503 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:56,166 AND THEN YOU BREAK UP WITH ME. 504 00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:57,335 DOCTOR, MY HEAD. 505 00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:59,269 - I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU'D WANT. 506 00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:03,173 - THINK AGAIN. 507 00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:05,409 YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT, DESPITE OURSELVES, 508 00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:07,445 WE JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF INTIMACY. 509 00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,513 - AND LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT. 510 00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,417 - HMM, FREE AIR FRESHENERS WITH THE FRAGRANCE OF TUNA? 511 00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:14,718 LET ME THINK ABOUT THAT, 512 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,520 AND, HEY, TOBY, SPEAKING OF THINKING, 513 00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,389 NOW, YOU KNOW I THINK YOUR SUSHI'S DELICIOUS. 514 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:21,058 - ESPECIALLY THAT RICE AND ROUNDWORM FILLING. 515 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,893 - BUT YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHANGE SUPPLIERS. 516 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:25,062 SEE, I GOT A PARASITE FROM IT. 517 00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:26,763 NO, IT WASN'T A LITTLE PARASITE. 518 00:19:26,765 --> 00:19:28,265 IT WAS A BIG, MEAN PARASITE. 519 00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:31,202 WELL, I'M FINE NOW. I AM NOT WHINING. 520 00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:33,670 HEY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT I MISSED THE DRAFT. 521 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,072 THE WAR WAS WINDING DOWN. 522 00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:37,674 OH, YEAH? LISTEN, YOU BIG FAT BLOWFISH-- 523 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,510 - CAN I HAVE A RAISE? - DAMN IT. 524 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:43,146 DARIA, DO YOU BELIEVE THE NERVE OF THAT GUY AND HIS ROTTEN FISH? 525 00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,481 - IF THAT ROTTEN FISH 526 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:47,084 HAS RESTORED COMMUNICATION BETWEEN US, FATHER, 527 00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:49,720 THEN I SAY HOORAY FOR SMELLY OLD ROT. 528 00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:51,989 - OH. OH. 529 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,924 - JAKE, IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 530 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,393 - YEAH. I MEAN NO. I MEAN--HUH. 531 00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:58,195 I THINK I FEEL SOMETHING ELSE IN THERE. 532 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,262 I BET THAT PARASITE 533 00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:01,165 LAID A WHOLE EXTENDED FAMILY OF EGGS. 534 00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,599 WHERE'S THAT MIRROR? 535 00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,868 - DARIA-- 536 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,670 - DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW I GOT ON THE MAILING LIST 537 00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,004 FOR TOOTSIE TECH, 538 00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:09,774 WORLD'S LARGEST SUPPLIER OF PROSTHETIC TOES BY MAIL? 539 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,443 - OOH, DO THEY HAVE THOSE VINTAGE WOODEN ONES? 540 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:13,744 - UGH. 541 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,279 - UM, DARIA-- 542 00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:17,347 - TOM AND I DIDN'T HAVE SEX, 543 00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:19,483 AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO ANY TIME SOON, 544 00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:21,385 UNLESS, OF COURSE, A BOMB GOES OFF 545 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,953 AND AS EARTH'S LAST TWO SURVIVORS, 546 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,056 WE MUST REPLENISH THE HUMAN RACE. 547 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,325 ALTHOUGH, FRANKLY, THAT'S NOT MOTIVATION ENOUGH FOR ME. 548 00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:29,793 - [sighs] 549 00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:32,129 WELL, I CAN'T SAY I'M NOT SOMEWHAT RELIEVED. 550 00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:34,631 I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WHATEVER DECISIONS 551 00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:37,034 YOU MAKE IN LIFE, I'M ON YOUR SIDE AND-- 552 00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:40,237 - SO INSTEAD, WE'VE DECIDED TO SUBLIMATE OUR URGES 553 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:43,074 BY TRAVELING CROSS-COUNTRY WITH A MOTORCYCLE GANG. 554 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,341 - ALL RIGHT. 555 00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:46,377 YOU JUST REMEMBER TO CALL HOME ON SUNDAY NIGHTS. 556 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:47,878 - HEY. - HA. 557 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,581 - DAMN IT, I THINK I CAN SEE THEIR BEADY LITTLE EYES. 558 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,249 GOD HELP ME. 559 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,518 - ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪ 560 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,455 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 561 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,632 ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪ 562 00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,270 ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪ 563 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,041 ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪