1
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:03,501
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
2
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:05,571
♪ THIS IS MY STOP ♪
3
00:00:05,573 --> 00:00:08,073
♪ GOT TO GET OFF ♪
4
00:00:08,075 --> 00:00:10,242
♪ I MAY GO POP ♪
5
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EXCUSE ME.
6
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EXCUSE ME.
7
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[whistle blows]
8
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♪ I'VE GOT TO BE DIRECT ♪
9
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,051
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
10
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♪ IF I'M WRONG, PLEASE CORRECT ♪
11
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♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
12
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♪ YOU'RE STANDING ON MY NECK ♪
13
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♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
14
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♪ YOU'RE STANDING ON MY NECK ♪
15
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♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
16
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♪ YOU'RE STANDING ON MY NECK ♪
17
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♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
18
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♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
19
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- GOD, THIS IS DULL.
20
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:00,725
SO MUCH
FOR MY SILLY CHILDHOOD DREAM
21
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,128
OF BECOMING
A SUPPLY-SIDE ECONOMIST.
22
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:04,529
- AT LEAST
YOU'RE NOT READING KANT.
23
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:06,764
THIS GUY GIVES DRY, PONDEROUS
INTELLECTUALS A BAD NAME.
24
00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:08,533
- SPEAKING OF INTELLECTUALS.
25
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:11,003
- UGH, I JUST HAD
THE WORST DATE OF MY LIFE.
26
00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:13,071
NOT ONLY
DID HE WEAR WHITE PANTS,
27
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,740
HIS CAR CD PLAYER SKIPPED,
28
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AND IF THAT WEREN'T BAD ENOUGH,
29
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HE SPENT THE WHOLE DINNER
TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF
30
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AND THEN ACCUSED ME
OF NOT PAYING ATTENTION
31
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JUST BECAUSE I HAD
TO QUICKLY CHECK MY LIPSTICK
32
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:22,380
IN THE BUTTER KNIFE.
33
00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:23,982
WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
34
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:26,517
- TO CHECK OUR MASCARA
IN THE SALAD TONGS.
35
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- BUT YOU CAN'T GO.
36
00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:29,087
I REALLY NEED
SOMEONE TO TALK TO,
37
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AND ALL THE NORMAL PEOPLE
ARE OUT ON DATES.
38
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- OH, WELL, YOU WOULDN'T WANT
TO BARGE IN ON SOMEONE'S DATE.
39
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- EXACTLY.
40
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TIFFANY?
41
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,330
I HAD THE WORST EVENING.
42
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,766
FINE, HURRY UP
AND ORDER DESSERT.
43
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- SO YOU SEE, TOBY,
A TOP-NOTCH MARKETING CONSULTANT
44
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COULD REALLY
BEEF UP YOUR BUSINESS.
45
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- ER, JAKE, WE'RE A SUSHI BAR.
46
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,374
DON'T YOU MEAN
"FISH UP MY BUSINESS"?
47
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,042
[both laugh]
48
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,511
HERE, HAVE SOME MORE SAKE.
49
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:53,812
- DON'T MIND IF I DO.
50
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,013
- JAKE, HAVEN'T YOU HAD--
51
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:56,648
- HEY, HELEN,
WHY AREN'T YOU EATING?
52
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:59,351
NOT TRYING TO KEEP YOUR GIRLISH
FIGURE AT YOUR AGE, ARE YOU?
53
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:00,385
[both laugh]
54
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:01,386
- [mock laughter]
55
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:02,921
ACTUALLY, I HAD A LATE LUNCH...
56
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:07,626
[under breath] FOLLOWED BY
AN INSUFFERABLE DINNER.
57
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:10,395
[distant rock music]
58
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:11,396
- WHAT IS THAT?
59
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:13,265
- EITHER A TRAVELING
BAND OF EUNUCHS,
60
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:18,770
OR QUINN'S FIGURED OUT HOW
TO TURN ON THE RADIO.
61
00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,705
- GOD, DARIA,
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
62
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:21,906
THINGS WERE SO BAD AT HOME?
63
00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:23,742
- I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO WORRY.
64
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:33,652
- OOPS.
65
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:34,919
- OH, GOD.
66
00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:36,921
WE'VE GOT TO GET YOU
THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
67
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:38,023
- [whispering] WORKS FOR ME.
68
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,124
[door creaking]
69
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:41,993
I'LL GO MYSELF.
IT'LL BE QUIETER.
70
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,128
[door creaking]
71
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,333
- I'M STARVING.
72
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:49,801
SUSHI SUCKS.
73
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:50,969
SAKE ROCKS.
74
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:53,205
HEY, GOT TO REMEMBER THAT.
[belches]
75
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,106
WHERE'S THE LASOONY?
76
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,410
[door sticking]
77
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,044
HEY.
- MR. MORGENDORFFER.
78
00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:01,546
I CAN EXPLAIN.
- TOM.
79
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:04,282
OH, HEY, YOU KNOW,
THAT DOOR STICKS ON ME TOO.
80
00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:05,216
LET ME GET IT FOR YOU.
81
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,656
HEY, YOU EVER TRY
ANY OF THAT SAKE?
82
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:12,991
IT SUCKS--
I MEAN, ROCKS.
83
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,326
- UM...NO.
84
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,694
YOU KNOW, THE AGE THING.
85
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,497
- OH, YEAH.
GOOD FOR YOU.
86
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:22,201
NICE GUY, THAT TOM.
87
00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:24,169
- NO WONDER YOU CAN'T SLEEP.
88
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:26,004
TOKYO TOBY'S IS POISON.
89
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:27,939
- IS NOT.
90
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,776
HEY, I FORGOT TO OFFER TOM
SOME LASAN-Y.
91
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,043
- WHAT?
92
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,111
- DAMN.
93
00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:35,647
ONE, ONE THOUSAND.
TWO, ONE THOUSAND.
94
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:36,748
THREE...
95
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,283
- DARIA, I NEED
TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW.
96
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:39,684
- ONE THOUSAND.
97
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,287
- ALL RIGHT, DARIA.
98
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:44,422
I GUESS I CAN BELIEVE
YOUR STORY.
99
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:46,091
THOUGH IT SEEMS
PRETTY FAR-FETCHED TO ME
100
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,593
THAT TWO TEENAGERS
WITH RAGING HORMONES--
101
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,295
- MY HORMONES DON'T RAGE.
102
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:52,597
OH, SURE,
THEY GET MAD SOMETIMES,
103
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,633
BUT THEN THEY JUST
STOP SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER.
104
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:57,402
- ALL RIGHT.
SO YOU WEREN'T, YOU KNOW--
105
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,871
- I CERTAINLY DO KNOW, AND NO.
106
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,138
- THEN TELL ME ONCE AGAIN
107
00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:03,742
WHY TOM WAS SLIPPING
OUT THE DOOR AT 4:00 A.M.
108
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:04,743
LIKE A COMMON CRIMINAL.
109
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:05,743
- PHONE.
110
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,312
- GEE, COULD THE SNEAKING AROUND
111
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:09,080
HAVE BEEN PART
OF A FUTILE ATTEMPT
112
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,483
TO AVOID AN UNNECESSARY
ALL-NIGHT LECTURE
113
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:12,651
ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY?
114
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,520
- ALL RIGHT, I ADMIT
I WAS A LITTLE UPSET,
115
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,889
BUT I'M SURE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND
THAT WHEN A MOTHER
116
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,024
SEES HER DAUGHTER,
117
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,826
HER LITTLE BABY GIRL
TO WHOM SHE GAVE LIFE--
118
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:23,762
- NOTHING HAPPENED.
I'D TELL YOU IF IT DID.
119
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,530
- YOU WOULD? REALLY?
120
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:29,301
- UM...ANYWAY,
YOU BELIEVE ME, RIGHT?
121
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,803
- STACY. STACY.
122
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,472
I CAN'T TALK ANY LOUDER,
YOU DOPE.
123
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:37,575
I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU MY SISTER
HAD A GUY IN HER ROOM ALL NIGHT!
124
00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:39,444
- [moaning]
125
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:42,180
- SERIOUSLY, DARIA,
IF THE TIME COMES
126
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,349
WHEN YOU DECIDE THAT--
YOU KNOW--
127
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,151
I HOPE YOU WILL
COME TO ME FIRST.
128
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,452
- UM, WHAT?
129
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,720
- NOT THAT I WOULD EVER TRY
TO TALK YOU OUT OF IT,
130
00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:51,990
WHICH IS NOT TO SAY I'M TRYING
TO TALK YOU INTO IT.
131
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,858
IT'S JUST THAT I'D LIKE
TO HAVE THE CHANCE
132
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,128
TO DISCUSS THINGS
WITH YOU FIRST.
133
00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:58,163
I ONLY WISH
I COULD HAVE GONE TO MY MOTHER
134
00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:00,031
BEFORE I MADE
SUCH AN AWFUL MISTAKE.
135
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,600
WHAT IS IT ABOUT STUNT DRIVERS
136
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:04,035
THAT MAKES OTHERWISE
LEVEL-HEADED TEENAGE GIRLS
137
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,136
JUST WHIP OFF THEIR--
138
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,170
- OKAY. OKAY.
139
00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:08,072
UM...I'VE GOT TO STUDY.
140
00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:09,775
BIG TEST. BIG TEST.
141
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,877
- HELEN, I THINK I'VE GOT
SOMETHING IN MY THROAT.
142
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:13,311
CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING DOWN THERE?
143
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,946
AH.
144
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,282
DARIA, I, UH--
145
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:21,320
- JAKE, NOTHING HAPPENED.
146
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:22,287
- [sighs]
147
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,859
THE PROBLEM
WITH GOING TO RESTAURANTS
148
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,360
IS THAT THEY'RE NOT IN MY ROOM.
149
00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:30,528
- I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
150
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,130
I HAVE THE SAME ISSUE
WITH HIKING TRAILS.
151
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,331
- MY, MY, MY.
152
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,767
IS THAT THE LOVELY
MISS MORGENDORFFER?
153
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:39,337
- CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'VE PASSED YOUR VISION TEST.
154
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,740
PLEASE PROCEED TO LINE "B"
FOR YOUR WRITTEN.
155
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:45,744
- AND YOU'VE PASSED YOUR
ADMISSION TEST TO CLUB D'AMORE.
156
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:48,613
PLEASE CHECK
YOUR INHIBITIONS AT THE DOOR.
157
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,215
[purrs]
158
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:51,516
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
159
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,618
- HIS PARENTS FORGOT
TO PUT DECALS
160
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,320
ON THE SLIDING GLASS DOORS.
161
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,355
- HEY, DARIA'S GUY.
WAIT TO GO, MAN.
162
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,390
- EXCUSE ME?
163
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,559
- YOU KNOW,
YOU DID THE WILD WALK,
164
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,727
MADE A TOUCHDOWN,
SIGNED THE DEED.
165
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:05,897
- TONIGHT'S BABEL CHAT
WAS HOSTED BY KEVIN THOMPSON.
166
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:09,334
- OH, DARIA,
NOW WE CAN HAVE WOMANLY TALKS.
167
00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:11,202
- WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU RANTING ABOUT?
168
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,837
- YOU KNOW.
169
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:16,641
- LET'S GO, BABE,
AND LEAVE THE LOVE-BABES ALONE.
170
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,476
- THAT WAS WEIRD, EVEN FOR THEM.
171
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:19,944
- WE'D BETTER GET OUT OF HERE
172
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:23,281
BEFORE THE PARMESAN FUMES
GET TO US TOO.
173
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,886
- DAMN IT, HELEN, I KNOW THERE'S
SOMETHING CRAWLING UP MY THROAT,
174
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,186
AND I THINK IT'S A PARASITE
175
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,890
COURTESY OF TOKYO TOBY'S
PARASITE RESTAURANT.
176
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,225
IF I STAND STILL, I CAN EVEN
FEEL IT LAUGHING INSIDE OF ME.
177
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,861
- NOW YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.
178
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:38,130
EVEN IF THAT HORRIBLE SUSHI
DID HAVE A PARASITE,
179
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,898
IT COULDN'T HAVE SURVIVED
THAT MUCH SAKE.
180
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,367
- DARIA, I, UM, UH--
181
00:06:43,369 --> 00:06:46,370
- YOUR FATHER THINKS HE PICKED
UP A PARASITE EATING SUSHI.
182
00:06:46,372 --> 00:06:49,374
- YOU MEAN THE KIND THAT DRILL
THROUGH YOUR INTESTINES,
183
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:52,310
TWISTING AND TURNING
AND DRIVING YOU SLOWLY INSANE
184
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:54,045
UNTIL THEY GROW EIGHT FEET LONG
185
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:56,114
AND CORKSCREW OUT
THROUGH YOUR VITAL ORGANS?
186
00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,349
- DARIA.
187
00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:59,984
- HELP ME, HELEN,
BEFORE THE MADNESS SETS IN.
188
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,353
- ANY FURTHER.
- DARIA.
189
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:02,820
[phone ringing]
190
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,822
- HELLO?
OH, TOBY.
191
00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:07,892
LISTEN, ABOUT YOUR
SO-CALLED FRESH SUSHI--
192
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,193
I GOT THE JOB?
193
00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:10,995
HOW MUCH?
WOW!
194
00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,930
I MEAN,
I THINK I COULD LIVE WITH THAT.
195
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,599
SEE YOU TOMORROW.
196
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,167
HELEN, I GOT THE JOB.
197
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,969
- AND ALL THE PARASITES
YOU CAN EAT.
198
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,971
- PARASITES?
YOU KNOW, YOU WERE RIGHT.
199
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,739
IT'S PROBABLY
JUST A SORE THROAT.
200
00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:23,407
I THINK I'M GONNA THROW UP.
201
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:29,915
[phone ringing]
202
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:30,982
- HEY.
203
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,684
- AH, I'VE BEEN
EXPECTING YOUR CALL.
204
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,185
- HUH?
- ALL RIGHT, I'M LISTENING.
205
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:37,155
BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE, AT LEAST
SPARE ME THE SQUISHIER DETAILS
206
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,357
AND THE RAPTUROUS DECLARATIONS
OF UNDYING LOVE.
207
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,526
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- WHAT ARE YOU?
208
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,762
- I WAS HOPING
YOU COULD TELL ME.
209
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:46,164
TOM AND I RAN
INTO SOME PEOPLE FROM SCHOOL,
210
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:49,267
AND THEY KEPT ALLUDING TO--
I'M ALMOST AFRAID TO GUESS WHAT.
211
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:50,468
IS SOMETHING GOING ON?
212
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,938
- COME ON, DARIA. YOU KNOW.
- KNOW WHAT?
213
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,141
- YOU DON'T KNOW?
- WHAT? JUST TELL ME.
214
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:59,277
- WELL,
THERE'S THIS RUMOR GOING AROUND
215
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,746
THAT YOU AND TOM...
SLEPT TOGETHER.
216
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:02,747
- HUH?
217
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,315
- AND THAT YOUR
FATHER WALKED IN RIGHT--
218
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,750
WELL, RIGHT
IN THE MIDDLE OF THINGS.
219
00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:07,185
- OH, MY GOD.
220
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,655
- AND, DARIA, SINCE WHEN DO YOU
OWN A PAIR OF BLACK HIGH HEELS?
221
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,867
- THAT'S NOT RIGHT EITHER.
222
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:26,137
OH, THE CURSE
OF HAVING TWO GOOD SHOULDERS.
223
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:28,272
DARIA,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?
224
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:31,276
- I WANT TO KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT YOU TOLD EVERYONE AT SCHOOL
225
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:32,476
ABOUT ME AND TOM.
226
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:33,611
- I DIDN'T SAY A WORD.
227
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:35,747
BESIDES,
I SWORE STACY TO SECRECY,
228
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,281
BUT THEN SHE TOLD SANDY
AND TIFFANY,
229
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:39,450
SO IF YOU'RE MAD AT ANYONE,
IT SHOULD BE STACY AND NOT ME.
230
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:40,452
- UH-HUH.
231
00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:42,052
LOOK, DAMN IT,
NOTHING HAPPENED--
232
00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:43,354
- STOP!
233
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,156
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR
ANY OF THE SORDID DETAILS.
234
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:46,558
I DON'T CARE
WHAT COUPLE PEOPLE DO.
235
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,992
- AND I'M TELLING YOU, NOTHING--
236
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:49,494
- OKAY. OKAY.
237
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:51,162
LOOK, I GOT TO, UM, GO SHOPPING.
238
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:52,831
BIG SALE. BIG SALE.
239
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:55,901
- QUINN, LISTEN TO ME FOR ONE--
- HALF OFF. GOT TO GO. BYE.
240
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,005
- CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A SECOND?
241
00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:02,507
- SURE, WHAT'S UP?
242
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:06,111
- UM...YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD
THE RUMOR ABOUT ME AND TOM.
243
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:07,646
- HEY, IT'S NO BIG DEAL, RIGHT?
244
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:08,913
THIS ISN'T THE '50s,
245
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:10,949
WHEN WOMEN HAD TO WORRY ABOUT
THEIR REPUTATIONS.
246
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,283
- BUT IT'S NOT TRUE.
247
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:15,453
I NEVER SLEPT WITH TOM,
AND I DON'T OWN ANY HIGH HEELS.
248
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,054
I DON'T EVEN OWN ANY LOW HEELS.
249
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,890
- DARIA, IT'S OKAY, REALLY.
250
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,492
BESIDES, YOU AND TOM HAVE BEEN
GOING OUT FOR SO LONG,
251
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:22,860
I'D THINK BY NOW YOU'D WANT
252
00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:25,396
TO DO MORE
THAN JUST HOLD HANDS...RIGHT?
253
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,464
- UM...
254
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,466
- HEY, SEX IS NOTHING
TO BE ASHAMED OF
255
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:29,734
AS LONG AS YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE.
256
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:33,003
- SO THEN YOU AND MACK HAVE...
BEEN RESPONSIBLE?
257
00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:35,673
- UM, I REALLY DON'T WANT
TO DISCUSS THAT RIGHT NOW.
258
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:36,807
- I UNDERSTAND.
259
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:38,443
- I PROMISE,
SOON AS MY PARENTS ARE DEAD,
260
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,545
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT.
261
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:44,615
- OKAY, JUST SO LONG AS THERE'S
NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.
262
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:47,852
AND I THOUGHT THE WHOLE POINT
OF BEING UNPOPULAR
263
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:50,555
WAS THAT NO ONE KNOWS YOU EXIST
OR TALKS ABOUT YOU.
264
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:52,089
- IT'S BEEN A SLOW NEWS WEEK.
265
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,592
DON'T WORRY, THEY'LL GO BACK TO
NOT RECOGNIZING YOU SOON ENOUGH.
266
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:55,960
- EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.
267
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:58,830
YOU NEVER HAD A RUMOR
CIRCULATING AROUND SCHOOL
268
00:09:58,832 --> 00:09:59,997
THAT YOU SLEPT WITH SOMEONE.
269
00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:01,299
- WELL,
IF THAT EVER DOES HAPPEN,
270
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,167
I HOPE THE GUY'S
A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER.
271
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,269
LOOK, WHY DOES THIS BOTHER YOU
SO MUCH, ANYWAY?
272
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,404
IT CAN'T BE YOU'RE WORRIED KEVIN
WON'T RESPECT YOU.
273
00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:09,874
- NO, I GUESS IT'S
THE ASSUMPTION
274
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,375
THAT IF YOU'RE
IN A RELATIONSHIP,
275
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:12,544
YOU'RE HAVING SEX.
276
00:10:12,546 --> 00:10:13,678
SO IF YOU'RE NOT,
277
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,846
DOES THAT MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
ANY LESS OF ONE?
278
00:10:15,848 --> 00:10:18,750
- I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE JUMPED
TOM WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE.
279
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:19,917
KIDDING.
280
00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:21,386
I TOLD YOU,
I'M WAITING TILL COLLEGE,
281
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:22,953
11:00 A.M. ON MOVE-IN DAY.
282
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,288
- AT LEAST YOU'VE GOT A PLAN.
283
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,057
- ANYWAY,
BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP
284
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,159
CAN'T POSSIBLY HINGE
ON PHYSICAL INTIMACY,
285
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,295
'CAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN
OUR PARENTS ARE STILL DOING IT.
286
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,030
- WHICH IS ABSURD.
- NO CHANCE.
287
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,631
- I'D JOIN THE CIRCUS.
- RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
288
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,935
- THANKS FOR YOUR INSIGHT.
- WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
289
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:39,838
- YOU REALLY THINK
ONCE SOME NEW RUMOR COMES ALONG
290
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,106
EVERYONE WILL FORGET ABOUT ME
AND TOM?
291
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:43,107
- I'M SURE OF IT.
292
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:45,476
- GOOD, BECAUSE MY SISTER'S GOT
293
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,513
A RARE FORM
OF MALAYSIAN TOENAIL FUNGUS.
294
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,347
- OOH, THAT CAN BE TERMINAL.
295
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:54,019
- WHOA, THAT IS ONE HELL
OF A PARASITE.
296
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:57,221
NOW HOLD ON.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
297
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:58,589
- [screams]
298
00:10:58,591 --> 00:10:59,657
- HERE. TAKE A LOOK.
299
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:00,825
- EW.
300
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,327
UM, MUST HAVE GOTTEN IT
301
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,428
FROM THAT DAMN
FOOD-ROTTING TUPPERWARE.
302
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,930
- TUPPERWARE?
I DON'T THINK SO.
303
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:07,365
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU HAD SUSHI?
304
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,200
- LAST WEEKEND AT TOKYO TOBY'S.
305
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,702
- TOKYO TOBY'S?
306
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:11,969
WHEN IS THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT
307
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,871
GOING TO SHUT
THAT WORM FACTORY DOWN?
308
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,473
THIS IS THE THIRD
ANISAKID I'VE SEEN
309
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:16,907
COME OUT OF THAT PLACE
IN TWO MONTHS.
310
00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:18,910
- OH.
311
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,678
- CAN ANGER MANAGEMENT TRAINING
312
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,147
REALLY HELP GORILLAS
AVOID EXTINCTION?
313
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:25,950
MAYBE, BUT IT'S NOT DOING MUCH
FOR THE PSYCHIATRISTS.
314
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:28,586
"THE APES OF WRATH,"
TODAY ON SICK, SAD WORLD.
315
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:29,621
- ARE YOU OKAY?
316
00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:30,955
YOU HARDLY SAID A WORD
317
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,890
WHEN THE MONSTER ATTACKED
THE GIRLS' SWIM TEAM,
318
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:35,860
ALL THOSE VITAL ORGANS BOBBING
AROUND IN THE WATER.
319
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,829
- I KNOW I SHOULDN'T
LET IT BOTHER ME,
320
00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,831
BUT THERE'S THIS RUMOR
GOING AROUND SCHOOL
321
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,499
THAT YOU AND I SLEPT TOGETHER.
322
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:42,700
- REALLY?
323
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,368
CAN WE GET THAT RUMOR STARTED
AT MY SCHOOL?
324
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,703
- IT'S NOT FUNNY.
- COME ON, DARIA.
325
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,539
SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE
WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK?
326
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,841
- IT'S NOT THAT...SO MUCH.
327
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:53,011
IT'S JUST THAT
THE IMPLICATION IS, WELL,
328
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,345
TO BE REALLY CLOSE,
329
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:57,281
COUPLES NEED PHYSICAL
AS WELL AS EMOTIONAL INTIMACY.
330
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,016
- BOY,
PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE ANYTHING.
331
00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:02,587
LOOK, YOU SAID
YOU WEREN'T READY, SO OKAY.
332
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:05,089
- OH, FINE.
JUST TAKE ME AT MY WORD.
333
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:06,558
- THAT IS WHAT YOU SAID, RIGHT?
334
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,726
I MEAN, CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG,
PLEASE.
335
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,796
- HEY, FAR BE IT FROM ME
TO PRESSURE YOU INTO ANYTHING.
336
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:14,065
- DARIA, YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO DOESN'T WANT TO, REMEMBER?
337
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,400
I BACKED OFF 'CAUSE I THOUGHT
THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED,
338
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,269
BUT I CAN BE PERSUADED
OTHERWISE.
339
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,437
SEE? ALL DONE.
340
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:21,705
- OKAY, FINE.
341
00:12:21,707 --> 00:12:24,309
IN THE INTEREST OF MOVING
OUR RELATIONSHIP FORWARD
342
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:26,010
AND TAKING IT TO A NEW,
DEEPER LEVEL,
343
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:28,746
I'VE DECIDED I'M READY TOO,
DAMN IT.
344
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,248
- REALLY?
ARE YOU SURE?
345
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,116
- SURE, I'M SURE.
346
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:35,419
OF COURSE,
THERE'S THE ISSUE OF...YOU KNOW.
347
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,488
- NO PROBLEM.
I'VE GOT ONE RIGHT HERE.
348
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:38,923
YOU KNOW,
MY PARENTS WON'T BE HOME--
349
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,858
- WAIT, YOU JUST CARRY
ONE OF THOSE THINGS AROUND?
350
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,226
- WISHFUL THINKING?
351
00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:44,395
- GOD, GUYS ARE ALL THE SAME.
352
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:45,529
- WHAT, RESPONSIBLE?
353
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:48,366
- YOU KNOW,
MAYBE WE ARE RUSHING INTO THIS.
354
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,501
FORGET I BROUGHT IT UP.
355
00:12:49,503 --> 00:12:51,669
- FORGET YOU BROUGHT IT UP?
JEEZ.
356
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,971
- HEY, I DIDN'T EXPECT
TO BE PUT ON THE SPOT.
357
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:55,506
- I THOUGHT YOU
JUST SAID YOU WANTED TO.
358
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,508
- NOT SO MUCH
THAT I'M RUNNING AROUND TOWN
359
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,611
WITH A NEON BIRTH CONTROL DEVICE
IN MY PURSE.
360
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,713
- LOOK,
I'VE BEEN A GOOD GUY ABOUT THIS.
361
00:13:01,715 --> 00:13:02,714
YOU SAID YOU'RE READY,
362
00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:04,148
SO I TRIED TO BE CONSCIENTIOUS,
363
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,516
AND NOW YOU DON'T WANT TO AGAIN.
364
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:06,751
MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
365
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:07,885
AND IT'S NOT NEON.
366
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,121
- I'M READY.
367
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,956
- YOU'RE SURE?
- POSITIVE.
368
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,991
- UM, OKAY.
369
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:17,194
WHEN WERE YOU THINKING,
UM, WE WOULD, YOU KNOW?
370
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:20,431
- UM, ANYTIME.
BUT NOT RIGHT NOW.
371
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,200
- UM, OKAY.
372
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:25,603
- IT'S DEFINITELY NOT NEON,
RIGHT?
373
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,914
SO, UM, SHOULD WE PICK A DATE?
374
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:38,983
- WELL, MY PARENTS ARE
GOING OUT OF TOWN NEXT WEEKEND.
375
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:39,984
HOW ABOUT THEN?
376
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,487
- NO FAIR.
HOME COURT ADVANTAGE.
377
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,788
- FINE.
YOUR PLACE.
378
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,990
- LIKE I'D EVER FIND
ALL THE MICROPHONES
379
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,758
MOM'S HIDDEN AROUND MY ROOM.
380
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,994
- THE RENDEZVOUS MOTEL?
YOU KNOW, ON ROUTE SIX.
381
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,730
- GEE, DON'T MAKE ME
FEEL TOO SPECIAL.
382
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:54,465
- ALL RIGHT,
THE BOATHOUSE AT THE LAKE
383
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,501
WITH THE STARS,
THE MOON, THE WATER?
384
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,836
- AND THE MOSQUITOES,
THE SPLINTERS,
385
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,104
THE SECURITY PATROL?
386
00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:02,039
- OKAY, HOW ABOUT MARS THEN,
387
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:05,309
SOON AS THAT WHOLE COLONIZATION
THING GETS GOING?
388
00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:08,479
- YOUR ROOM,
NEXT SATURDAY NIGHT AT 8:00.
389
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,051
- YO, KINKY SHOE GIRL,
GOOD NEWS.
390
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:15,553
THE MALAYSIAN FUNGUS HAS
YOUR SISTER DOWN TO THREE TOES,
391
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,522
AND ONE OF THEM IS DANGLING.
392
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,956
- THAT'S SO SAD.
393
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:22,427
- YEAH, AND THAT HOT NEWS FLASH
FROM THE LAWNDALE GOSSIP MILL
394
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,662
HAS LEFT YOU AND TOM
IN THE PROVERBIAL DUST.
395
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:28,032
NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE
ANYMORE, OR LACK THEREOF.
396
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:31,335
- UM, MAKE THAT
FORMER LACK THEREOF.
397
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:32,470
- DARIA!
398
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:35,440
- OR RATHER,
FUTURE FORMER LACK THEREOF.
399
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,775
- OH.
SO WHEN?
400
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:39,777
- SOON.
THIS WEEKEND.
401
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:40,844
- AH.
402
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:42,980
YOU SEEM A TAD--
WHAT'S THE WORD?
403
00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,148
SCARED WITLESS.
404
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,884
- OKAY, SO I AM
A LITTLE VERY NERVOUS.
405
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,152
- OF COURSE YOU ARE.
406
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,788
THIS IS A BIG DECISION,
A DEFINING MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE.
407
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:53,224
- OH, GOOD.
THAT'S NOT TOO MUCH PRESSURE.
408
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,760
- OR POSSIBLY JUST ANOTHER
ADOLESCENT EMBARRASSMENT
409
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,394
YOU'LL NEED TO REPRESS
IN ADULTHOOD
410
00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:58,830
JUST TO GET OUT OF BED
IN THE MORNING.
411
00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:00,131
- HUH.
412
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:03,400
SO FAR, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING
AFTER MY 12TH BIRTHDAY.
413
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:07,338
UM, YOU DON'T THINK THAT'LL
REALLY HAPPEN, DO YOU?
414
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,274
- NO, NO, IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.
415
00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,208
WELL, THEN, CONGRATULATIONS
416
00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:13,745
OR WHATEVER THEY SAY
IN SITUATIONS LIKE THESE.
417
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,280
- I THINK IT'S "S.O.S."
418
00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:21,085
- YOU SAID
I WAS BEING RIDICULOUS.
419
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,820
YOU SAID IT COULDN'T
BE A PARASITE.
420
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:25,623
- OKAY, JAKE. YOU WERE RIGHT.
I WAS WRONG.
421
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,659
- OH, SWEET MUSIC TO MY EARS.
422
00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:29,393
- WHICH ONLY PROVES
THAT I WAS RIGHT
423
00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:32,263
ABOUT TOKYO TOBY'S
BEING POISON IN THE FIRST PLACE.
424
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,065
- OH, YEAH.
425
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,868
UM, DARIA.
426
00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:40,404
- DARIA. HI.
ANYTHING NEW?
427
00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:42,840
- WELL, YOU DIDN'T
HEAR IT FROM ME,
428
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,777
BUT QUINN'S PLAYED HER LAST GAME
OF THIS LITTLE PIGGY.
429
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,912
- HMM, IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT.
430
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,380
AREN'T YOU GOING OUT WITH TOM?
431
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:52,182
- SORRY.
ONLY ONE QUESTION PER CUSTOMER.
432
00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:53,718
PLEASE TRY AGAIN TOMORROW.
433
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,553
- DARIA, ABOUT THAT TALK
WE WERE GOING TO HAVE.
434
00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:58,989
WE DON'T HAVE TO WAIT.
WE COULD HAVE IT--
435
00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:01,625
- NO, NO, THE END OF TIME
IS FINE FOR ME,
436
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,894
AND SPEAKING OF THE TIME--
437
00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:05,329
- OKAY, EVEN IF YOU WERE RIGHT
ABOUT TOBY'S,
438
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:06,898
I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE PARASITE,
439
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,632
AND IT WAS
A DOUBLE-WIDE PARASITE,
440
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,667
SO THAT MAKES ME DOUBLY RIGHT.
441
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:13,671
- JAKE, NOT NOW.
I'M TALKING TO DARIA.
442
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,939
DARIA?
443
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:23,014
- GOD. SATURDAY ALREADY?
444
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,950
- [whistling]
445
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:38,963
- WHEN IS QUINN GOING TO STOP
STORING HER NAIL POLISH IN THE--
446
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,165
OOH, SUNRISE SUBLIME.
447
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,100
[phone ringing]
448
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:47,271
HELLO?
OH, HI, TOM.
449
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:50,407
DARIA?
NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN HER.
450
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:52,310
SURE, I'LL TELL HER.
451
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,111
BYE.
452
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,980
DARIA, IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
453
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,416
- SURE. FINE.
NEVER BEEN BETTER.
454
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,385
- YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER KNOWN YOU
NOT TO WANT TO SPEAK TO TOM
455
00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:03,654
OR WEAR SLICKY FINGERS
NAIL POLISH.
456
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:06,958
- UM, I BELIEVE YOU SHOULD TRY
EVERYTHING ONCE,
457
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,927
NO MATTER HOW
UNMISTAKABLY STUPID IT IS.
458
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,129
ALMOST EVERYTHING.
459
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:13,797
ANYWAY, GOT TO GO.
LOT OF HOMEWORK.
460
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:15,767
BIG ESSAY DUE. BIG ESSAY.
461
00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:19,003
- I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU WERE SEEING TOM TONIGHT.
462
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:21,272
DARIA?
463
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:22,740
- [blowing]
464
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:27,545
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
465
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,452
DARIA.
466
00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:38,322
- DEAR TOM, I'M SORRY
ABOUT LAST NIGHT,
467
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:40,624
BUT WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT
FOR THE 50TH TIME,
468
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,527
I REALIZED I'M JUST NOT READY.
469
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,062
PLEASE LET THIS LETTER SERVE
AS MY ACCEPTANCE
470
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,664
OF THE INEVITABLE BREAKUP.
471
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,065
DARIA.
472
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,366
- DAMN.
473
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,440
- OH.
UM, YOU GOT MY NOTE?
474
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,975
- DARIA, HOW COULD YOU
DO THIS TO ME?
475
00:17:57,977 --> 00:17:59,710
- I CAN'T HELP IT
IF I'M NOT READY.
476
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,178
I CAN'T CHANGE THE WAY I FEEL.
477
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,647
- NOT THAT.
478
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:05,049
I MEAN, HOW COULD YOU DUMP ME
WITHOUT EVEN TALKING IT OVER?
479
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:08,019
- LOOK, WE BOTH AGREED
THAT SLEEPING TOGETHER
480
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:09,119
WOULD BRING US CLOSER,
481
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:12,023
SO NOT DOING IT
MUST BE DRIVING US APART.
482
00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:13,791
- NO, YOU SAID IT WOULD
BRING US CLOSER,
483
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:16,060
AND I SAID, "FINE,
IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU FEEL."
484
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:18,395
I WASN'T PUSHING THIS.
YOU WERE, REMEMBER?
485
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:20,164
I WAS PERFECTLY HAPPY
WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP
486
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,165
JUST THE WAY IT WAS.
487
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:22,834
- PERFECTLY HAPPY?
488
00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:26,037
- OKAY, VERY CONTENT.
THE POINT IS, YOU'RE NOT READY.
489
00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:28,039
I UNDERSTAND.
490
00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:31,175
- NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IT'S NOT THAT I'M NOT READY.
491
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,476
IT'S THAT I'M SCARED.
492
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:34,946
- SAME THING.
- NO, IT'S NOT THE SAME THING.
493
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:36,880
I JUST ADMITTED THAT I'M SCARED.
494
00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:39,016
THE THOUGHT
OF THAT MUCH INTIMACY,
495
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:40,885
IT'S JUST OVERWHELMING TO ME.
496
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,419
- OH.
497
00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:44,989
DARIA, YOU KNOW I WOULD NEVER
DO ANYTHING
498
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:46,423
TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.
499
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:49,726
- AND EVEN IF I COULD HANDLE IT,
WHAT IF YOU WERE DISAPPOINTED?
500
00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:51,529
OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP
COULD BE RUINED.
501
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:52,997
- YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX
502
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:55,065
BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID
IT'LL HURT OUR RELATIONSHIP,
503
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:56,166
AND THEN YOU BREAK UP WITH ME.
504
00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:57,335
DOCTOR, MY HEAD.
505
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:59,269
- I THOUGHT THAT'S
WHAT YOU'D WANT.
506
00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:03,173
- THINK AGAIN.
507
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:05,409
YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT,
DESPITE OURSELVES,
508
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:07,445
WE JUST REACHED
A NEW LEVEL OF INTIMACY.
509
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,513
- AND LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT.
510
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,417
- HMM, FREE AIR FRESHENERS
WITH THE FRAGRANCE OF TUNA?
511
00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:14,718
LET ME THINK ABOUT THAT,
512
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,520
AND, HEY, TOBY,
SPEAKING OF THINKING,
513
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,389
NOW, YOU KNOW I THINK YOUR
SUSHI'S DELICIOUS.
514
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:21,058
- ESPECIALLY THAT RICE
AND ROUNDWORM FILLING.
515
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,893
- BUT YOU MIGHT WANT
TO CHANGE SUPPLIERS.
516
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:25,062
SEE, I GOT A PARASITE FROM IT.
517
00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:26,763
NO, IT WASN'T A LITTLE PARASITE.
518
00:19:26,765 --> 00:19:28,265
IT WAS A BIG, MEAN PARASITE.
519
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:31,202
WELL, I'M FINE NOW.
I AM NOT WHINING.
520
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:33,670
HEY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT
I MISSED THE DRAFT.
521
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,072
THE WAR WAS WINDING DOWN.
522
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:37,674
OH, YEAH?
LISTEN, YOU BIG FAT BLOWFISH--
523
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,510
- CAN I HAVE A RAISE?
- DAMN IT.
524
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:43,146
DARIA, DO YOU BELIEVE THE NERVE
OF THAT GUY AND HIS ROTTEN FISH?
525
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,481
- IF THAT ROTTEN FISH
526
00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:47,084
HAS RESTORED COMMUNICATION
BETWEEN US, FATHER,
527
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:49,720
THEN I SAY HOORAY
FOR SMELLY OLD ROT.
528
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:51,989
- OH. OH.
529
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,924
- JAKE, IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
530
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,393
- YEAH. I MEAN NO.
I MEAN--HUH.
531
00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:58,195
I THINK I FEEL
SOMETHING ELSE IN THERE.
532
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,262
I BET THAT PARASITE
533
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:01,165
LAID A WHOLE
EXTENDED FAMILY OF EGGS.
534
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,599
WHERE'S THAT MIRROR?
535
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,868
- DARIA--
536
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,670
- DOES ANYONE KNOW
HOW I GOT ON THE MAILING LIST
537
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,004
FOR TOOTSIE TECH,
538
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:09,774
WORLD'S LARGEST SUPPLIER
OF PROSTHETIC TOES BY MAIL?
539
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,443
- OOH, DO THEY HAVE THOSE
VINTAGE WOODEN ONES?
540
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:13,744
- UGH.
541
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,279
- UM, DARIA--
542
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:17,347
- TOM AND I DIDN'T HAVE SEX,
543
00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:19,483
AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO
ANY TIME SOON,
544
00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:21,385
UNLESS, OF COURSE,
A BOMB GOES OFF
545
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,953
AND AS EARTH'S
LAST TWO SURVIVORS,
546
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,056
WE MUST REPLENISH
THE HUMAN RACE.
547
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,325
ALTHOUGH, FRANKLY, THAT'S NOT
MOTIVATION ENOUGH FOR ME.
548
00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:29,793
- [sighs]
549
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:32,129
WELL, I CAN'T SAY
I'M NOT SOMEWHAT RELIEVED.
550
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:34,631
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT WHATEVER DECISIONS
551
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:37,034
YOU MAKE IN LIFE,
I'M ON YOUR SIDE AND--
552
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:40,237
- SO INSTEAD, WE'VE DECIDED
TO SUBLIMATE OUR URGES
553
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:43,074
BY TRAVELING CROSS-COUNTRY
WITH A MOTORCYCLE GANG.
554
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,341
- ALL RIGHT.
555
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:46,377
YOU JUST REMEMBER
TO CALL HOME ON SUNDAY NIGHTS.
556
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:47,878
- HEY.
- HA.
557
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,581
- DAMN IT, I THINK I CAN SEE
THEIR BEADY LITTLE EYES.
558
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,249
GOD HELP ME.
559
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,518
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
560
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,455
Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com
561
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,632
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
562
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,270
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
563
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,041
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪