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I must say I'm honored you've chosen to spend your valuable Saturday night with

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me. What happened? Tom's parents send him off for more forty-watt bulbs?

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I was just craving a bit of sisterhood, so long as it doesn't involve my actual

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sister. What'd you do today?

5
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I actually accomplished something... I mean, other than getting up. I applied to

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Lawndale State and State University.

7
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Really? Why? I thought you wanted to go to Boston Fine Arts College?

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I do want to go to BFAC, but unlike Lawndale State and State U, you have to have

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talent to get in. So they give you extra time to put together a killer art portfolio.

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How's that going?

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Why, it's going so well that when you called to go out, I only cried tears of

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relief for ten minutes. What about you? Still thinking about... Bromwell?

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They don't really talk like that there... I hope. Anyway, I'm applying because

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it's an outstanding university, not because the students engage in the rectal

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transport of steel rods.

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The Equestrian Club must be in constant pain.

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What about your safeties?

18
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I've applied to Raft, Ellis, Lloyd...

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Raft's your safety? Gutsy, Morgendorffer.

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No, no, no. Raft's my second choice. My parents won't think I've sent out enough

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applications if I only get rejected from one place.

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Hey, Raft's in Boston, right? Wouldn't it be great if we went to college in the

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same town? We could meet on the weekends to eat pizza and complain.

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Well, they say college is all about broadening your horizons.

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Gaaaah! Six hundred dollars for shoes? That you walk in? On the ground?

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Relax, Jake. I'll take care of it. Quinn! I want you to come downstairs and

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explain yourself!

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Finally, the mystery will be solved.

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Sandi, I'm just saying tangerine isn't as orange as... call you back.

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Sorry, Fashion Club crisis.

31
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Never mind. What's this six hundred dollar charge at Cashman's?

32
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But Mom, I actually saved money by buying faux alligator instead of real alligator.

33
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Well, you can also save your excuses. The shoes are going back.

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But I can't return them. Final markdown. However, if it makes you feel better,

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I promise never to buy on sale again.

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You're not buying anything, period, until you pay off this bill.

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I understand. I shall require a substantial increase in my allowance.

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No!

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But you know I don't have any money. It's why I have to buy on credit. Let's

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work together, Mother, and attack the problem at its source.

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Good idea. You'll have to go out and get a job.

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Uh! Water.

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Hope she doesn't get any on the shoes.

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Gah!

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Sit down, Jake. She's not wearing them.

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Shouldn't you be working on your college applications?

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Hey, yeah! You know, Daria, I'd be happy to give your application to Middleton a

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quick going over. I think I know a thing or two about what they like at the old

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Alma mater.

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Ummm, gee, thanks. Yes... I... uh, you're right. I should be working on my

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applications. Right now.

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You know, Jake, just because we went to Middleton doesn't mean Daria will. She's

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applying to a lot of different places.

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Oh, sure. But why would she want to go to just any old college when she could

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follow in our footsteps? Middleton's a Morgendorffer tradition.

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So's military school.

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Bite your tongue, Helen. No daughter of mine is ever going to share a latrine

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with fifty hateful boys who can sniff out weakness like day-old cheese.

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Let's hope not, dear.

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Everyone hates the message board miscreant, but now you can do something about it!

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Flame wars: the next generation, tonight on Sick, Sad World!

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Finish your college applications yet?

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All except Bromwell's. Mom and Dad want to want to review the alumni section to

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make sure I didn't leave anyone out.

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That shouldn't take more than a week or two.

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Did you ask about going up to Newtown to visit Bromwell with me?

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It's cool with my mother as long as your mother's definitely chaperoning and we

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can drive up to Boston afterwards to check out a couple of other colleges.

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That's the plan. Boston's where all my safeties are.

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Umm, mine, too.

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Hey, don't worry, Daria. You'll get into Bromwell with your incredible test

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scores and grades. I'll get in the old fashioned way: bribery and nepotism.

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Gee, when you put it that way, it all sounds so fair and just.

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Guys, it is so nice of you to take me out on my birthday.

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Our pleasure, Stacy.

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Just because the rest of us had dates on our birthdays...

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Oh, yes, Sandi. You mentioned that. Boy, I can't believe I'm another year older.

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Time goes by so fast.

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I know. Just yesterday I was playing with makeup starter kits, and today I'm

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being forced out in the working world. And I thought these were supposed to be

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the carefree years.

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I know, Quinn. Why don't you get a job here? There are lots of cute guys, and

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the hostesses get to dress up and wear hoopy earrings.

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Stacy! Are you suggesting that a Fashion Club member serve the public?

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Stacy, tsk.

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Uh, geez, Sandi, it's not that bad an idea. This place is sort of fun, and it

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wouldn't be like the kind of job where you'd endanger your nails or anything.

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Mmmm... good point.

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Fine, if you want to sully the fine name...

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Surprise...

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Make a wish, Stacy!

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And don't worry. I'm sure that chocolate won't cause your sensitive skin to

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break out.

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Yay!

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Thanks, guys.

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What'd you wish for?

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Ummm; nothing.

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Come on, Stacy. Tell us! Don't be your usual drippy self.

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Nothing. Anyway, it didn't come true.

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How did your father's meeting at the bank go?

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Not good. My Dad says I can't go to Vance unless they give me a scholarship. We

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can only afford State University, and they don't even have a business school.

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Oh, Mack. You've worked so hard. You've just got to get that scholarship.

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What about you? How are your applications going?

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Well, I got the big ones in today. Turner and Crestmore.

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Crestmore... the dream of dreams.

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Hmmm.

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What's wrong?

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It's a top school and everything, but I'd really rather go to Turner.

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Your father's Alma mater? He must love that.

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He doesn't know I applied.

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Why?

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Because he wouldn't let me go anyway. He says not even a great African-American

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college like Turner can beat the Crestmore name on a resume.

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Oh, man. That sucks.

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You know, my grandmother was in the first Turner graduating class to admit

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women. I'd be carrying on a tradition. Plus, I'd finally get a break from having

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to be the perfect Jodie doll at a mostly-white school.

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I hear that.

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I wish my father did. I can always transfer to Crestmore after a year or two. At

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least, I'd find what Turner's like. But his mind's made up.

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Well, Crestmore hasn't accepted you yet.

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Hey, maybe we should both go to State University. Then we wouldn't have to worry

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about how to get together on weekends.

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Hi, Jodie. Hi, Mack. You know, I applied to State University, too. They've one

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of the best cheerleading squads in the country.

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God help me!

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Ummm, that's nice, Brittany. Kevin, do you know where you're going?

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It's a secret, man.

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Why? Is the school embarrassed?

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Why would it be embarrassed? I'm a QB. It's not like I'm a brain or anything.

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Truer words were never spoken.

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Thanks, man!

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Tsk, tsk. Oh, Kevin. Well, maybe you'll find a job that doesn't require the

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ability to read and write.

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I'm so depressed!

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Janet!

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Do you know what today is? D-Day, the fifth anniversary of my D-vorce.

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Janet, I'm sorry.

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You're sorry? You didn't spend years of your life telling him again and again to

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get his grubby hands off of the remote, quit his damned coughing, stop behaving

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like an imbecile, only to be tossed into the trash like a broken record!

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Um, Janet! I can certainly understand your, um, sadness.

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Why, marriage is a sacred union that's supposed to represent the love and trust

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two people...

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Skinny, what did you say?

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Marriage is a sacred union that...

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Yeeees!

149
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Euh... yes?

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I accept!

151
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Um, hmmm, huh?

152
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My silly, silly Skinny. You don't have to ask again. Yes, I will marry you!

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Oh, dear!

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Daria, the Sloanes are here.

155
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Hey, is Middleton is on this whirlwind college tour of yours, kiddo?

156
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Umm, not this trip.

157
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Oh, um, Daria, you know, some people just aren't cut out for military school.

158
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I know, Dad, but I think it's admirable the way you've managed to pull your life

159
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together despite that early trauma.

160
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Hey, thanks kiddo. I... What?

161
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:18,040
Now Daria, when you meet the college representatives, please try to be enthusiastic!

162
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Less unenthusiastic...?

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At least promise me you won't physically assault anyone.

164
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:30,310
Lindy, this is Quinn. I just hired her to be our new hostess.

165
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,610
Great! I can really use the help. Have you done hostessing before?

166
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Actually, um, this is my first job.

167
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Really? Are you still in high school?

168
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Umm, yeah. Although, people say I dress like I'm older.

169
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Well, this isn't all that different from high school, except instead of telling

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teachers your homework isn't ready, you're telling customers their table isn't

171
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ready. And they can't take a single point off your grade.

172
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Tom, if I'd known you were going to wear those scuffed-up sneakers, I would have

173
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bought you new ones.

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But I just got new ones a year ago.

175
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That's exactly what your father would say. You two are so stuck in your ways.

176
00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:07,940
We're stuck in our ways? Two sugars, a tiny slice of lemon would be dreamy, just

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place it on the saucer, dear, I don't like it in the cup.

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I can't help if I'm particular about my tea. Oh, look. We're here!

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Boy, did I do well tonight. A lot of the guys trying to distract their dates

180
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from their toupees by leaving big tips.

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Hmm. Must be first dates.

182
00:10:25,780 --> 00:10:26,570
Really? Why?

183
00:10:26,770 --> 00:10:31,400
Well, not that I date inconsistent tippers, but some of my friends say that guys

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tip twenty percent on the first date, seventeen on the second, and fifteen on

185
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the third. Although to be fair, a lot of people order more food on the third

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date because they're not as worried about looking like pigs.

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Quinn, you're a riot.

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I know!

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Hey, I don't know if you guys are interested, but my roommate and I are having a

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party on Saturday.

191
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Sounds cool.

192
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I'd love to go!

193
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,620
Great. Let me write down my address.

194
00:10:56,630 --> 00:10:59,870
You call that a tax cut? I've seen haircuts more drastic.

195
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:02,110
Um, Dad? Could I talk to you a second?

196
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:03,640
Sure! What's on your mind?

197
00:11:03,810 --> 00:11:07,110
Well, I've been thinking a lot about Crestmore, and a lot about Turner.

198
00:11:07,260 --> 00:11:10,710
Turner's a great school. Not nearly as elite as Crestmore, though.

199
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That's just it. I don't want to go to an elitist school.

200
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Sure you do.

201
00:11:14,470 --> 00:11:18,060
I want to go to a school where I fit in, where I can be myself and relax for

202
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once and really focus on learning. I want to go to Turner. At least for a year

203
00:11:22,310 --> 00:11:22,780
or two.

204
00:11:22,910 --> 00:11:26,910
You want to go to college to relax? That doesn't sound like my Honor Society daughter.

205
00:11:27,110 --> 00:11:31,120
Relax socially; stop being the black kid, and just being a kid. I'm tired of

206
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being in the extreme minority, and I don't want to go to a place where people

207
00:11:34,530 --> 00:11:37,290
might think I got in just because I'm African-American.

208
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Let people think what they want.

209
00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:42,750
But Dad, you don't know what it's like. You went to a black high school and then

210
00:11:42,850 --> 00:11:43,370
to Turner.

211
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:47,640
Because I HAD to. If I had a Crestmore degree in my pocket... Jodie, their

212
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:51,300
graduates are literally running this country. Think of how that degree can help

213
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:54,410
you catapult ahead. Where is that Landon spirit?

214
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,000
What's shaking, bacon?

215
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:07,430
I don't smell anything. Hey, cool sculpture. It's like a comment on the

216
00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:10,040
underbelly of pain... or something.

217
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:13,430
Actually, it's a comment on BFAC's incredibly high admission standards.

218
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,980
Um, why do you want to go to art college? You're already an artist.

219
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:22,100
I know. But I want to be a starving artist, so I need to ring up more debt.

220
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:26,840
Well, I'd never go to music school. I wouldn't want any teachers trying to

221
00:12:26,950 --> 00:12:28,100
corrupt my vision.

222
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,500
Can you imagine what Spiral would sound like if we were, like,

223
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:35,130
forced to practice, even when we don't want to?

224
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,620
Umm... oh, lookie, missed a spot.

225
00:12:39,850 --> 00:12:44,080
There it is, Tom: the place where your father and I met. I was a sophomore,

226
00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:47,660
Angier was a senior. It was a free concert by the Carpenters.

227
00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:50,840
Um, I hope you weren't injured in the ensuing riot.

228
00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:53,430
Well, I guess Daria and I better go in for our meetings.

229
00:12:53,730 --> 00:12:54,240
Good luck!

230
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:54,980
Thanks.

231
00:12:56,350 --> 00:12:58,100
Hi. We have appointments to see Lisa Goldwin.

232
00:13:01,410 --> 00:13:04,850
So that's why the skating rink has that sign saying "clothes required."

233
00:13:05,060 --> 00:13:08,410
Well, according to my grandfather, anyway. Then again, his motto is, "never let

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00:13:08,510 --> 00:13:10,020
the truth get in the way of a good story."

235
00:13:10,260 --> 00:13:11,880
Tom, it was really nice meeting you.

236
00:13:12,070 --> 00:13:14,880
You too, Lisa. Daria, I guess it's your turn. See you later.

237
00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:18,240
Come on in, Daria. Are you as full of Bromwell lore as Tom?

238
00:13:18,550 --> 00:13:21,640
Um, I doubt it. He seems to be really full of it.

239
00:13:23,910 --> 00:13:28,050
Daria, now that you've had a chance to drink in the campus, so to speak, what

240
00:13:28,210 --> 00:13:29,020
are your impressions.

241
00:13:29,130 --> 00:13:34,250
Talk about the atmosphere? No, that's frivolous. The resources? No, she'll think

242
00:13:34,370 --> 00:13:40,930
I mean money. The campus? No, shallow. Oh no, inappropriately long pause. Talk,

243
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,230
say anything.

244
00:13:42,690 --> 00:13:49,820
Ummm, I like the campus, the dorms, and, um, libraries... the learning... feeling?

245
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,330
The learning feeling? Could I be any less articulate?

246
00:13:53,590 --> 00:13:58,160
Yes, we like those things, too. Tell me, Daria, aside from gaining a first-rate

247
00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:02,220
education from one of the finest faculties around, why did you want to attend

248
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:02,870
Bromwell?

249
00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:06,750
Should I talk about wanting to be a writer and hoping Bromwell will help me find

250
00:14:06,870 --> 00:14:09,910
my voice? Oh, God, how pretentious can I get?

251
00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:15,530
Um, well, I guess I'm hoping that if I come here, I may be exposed to, um,

252
00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:17,840
points of view I never considered.

253
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:22,810
Right, education. But what are you hoping to reap from your Bromwell experience?

254
00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:26,060
Reap? Reap... reap reap!

255
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,120
Um, I hope to reap...

256
00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:30,190
God, what does she want?

257
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:32,810
Ummm, a chance to grow...?

258
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,210
I did not say that!

259
00:14:34,390 --> 00:14:35,240
You're asking me?

260
00:14:35,490 --> 00:14:39,710
Um, well, I think at Bromwell, I can, umm...

261
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:41,940
Find your voice, perhaps?

262
00:14:42,220 --> 00:14:46,000
Hmm, yes, exactly. Find my voice.

263
00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:50,760
Note to self: stop thinking so much, Morgendorffer, you idiot!

264
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:52,950
Daria, is everything all right?

265
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:57,940
Ummm, do you think we might possibly start over, and this time, I'll just answer

266
00:14:58,060 --> 00:15:01,750
your questions instead of agonizing over them internally and then blurting out

267
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:02,810
something asinine?

268
00:15:03,810 --> 00:15:04,330
Sure.

269
00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:07,910
And so I seated this one couple right next to this other couple, and all of a

270
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,750
sudden, the guy at the first table started screaming at the girl at the second

271
00:15:10,850 --> 00:15:13,950
table. I mean, how was I to know that she dumped that guy for the other one?

272
00:15:14,210 --> 00:15:15,330
Quinn, that's terrible!

273
00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:19,510
I know! The first guy was a lot cuter. Hey Sandi!

274
00:15:19,610 --> 00:15:20,240
How are you?

275
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:22,340
What did you say Sandi?

276
00:15:24,230 --> 00:15:25,060
Whaaat?

277
00:15:28,930 --> 00:15:33,920
Can't talk. Laryngitis. Sandi! You lost your voice!

278
00:15:36,420 --> 00:15:40,490
So once I stopped worrying about what to say and just said it, I thought the

279
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,640
interview went okay, but by then, I'd used up five of my fifteen minutes.

280
00:15:44,950 --> 00:15:47,230
Your interview was only fifteen minutes? I mean...

281
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:52,120
Ummm, we should probably be get going if we want to make Boston by dinner.

282
00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:54,140
Right. Mom? We should be...

283
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,780
Look, Tom. It's Bill Woods.

284
00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:59,550
You're right. He's a lit professor here; he was also in the lawn tennis team

285
00:15:59,690 --> 00:16:00,260
with my father.

286
00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:01,030
Of course.

287
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:05,410
Kay! Tom! I don't believe it! Why didn't tell me you were coming to town?

288
00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:09,380
Well, I knew we'd only be here for the day, but... please, Bill, do join us!

289
00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:13,790
Actually, I'm on my way to a meeting. MacArthur winners get so testy if they're

290
00:16:13,910 --> 00:16:15,770
kept waiting. How about lunch tomorrow?

291
00:16:16,750 --> 00:16:17,520
Umm, Mom?

292
00:16:17,660 --> 00:16:20,920
We'd love to, but I'm afraid we have to go to Boston and look at some other schools.

293
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:25,080
How about a 7:30 breakfast? You can still make Boston by noon. What

294
00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:28,270
do you say, Tom? You can update me on your interview here. Maybe I can even

295
00:16:28,430 --> 00:16:30,980
throw a little influence your way. Not that you'll need it.

296
00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:33,180
That would be great. Daria had an interview, too.

297
00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:36,850
Then it's a date. I'll see everyone tomorrow in the faculty dining room.

298
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,380
Daria, you don't mind, do you?

299
00:16:39,690 --> 00:16:41,520
Umm. No, it's fine.

300
00:16:48,980 --> 00:16:51,540
Mom, Bill was supposed to meet us at seven-thirty. It's eight.

301
00:16:51,780 --> 00:16:54,730
I promise. If he's not here in another... there he is!

302
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:58,460
Sorry I'm a little late, but I just couldn't get my publisher off the phone. He

303
00:16:58,570 --> 00:16:59,430
does love to chat.

304
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:08,620
Well, the worst of rush hour should be over, so with a little luck, we'll be in

305
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:09,410
Boston by one.

306
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:10,610
Yeah, that'll be plenty of time.

307
00:17:15,790 --> 00:17:16,390
Oh dear.

308
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:19,770
Oh my.

309
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:26,260
"And so, due to her inability to manage Fashion Club meetings and a minor

310
00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:30,260
part-time job, Quinn has been granted permission to take an officially

311
00:17:30,410 --> 00:17:36,250
sanctioned sabtical..." "sabbactical..."

312
00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:41,190
Let me help. "Saaaa..."

313
00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:46,870
"Vacation from her vice-presidential duties."

314
00:17:47,190 --> 00:17:47,930
Ooohhh.

315
00:17:52,540 --> 00:17:55,730
Daria, my sincerest apologies for arriving here so late.

316
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,930
Mom, it's not your fault. It's raining, and there was that pile-up, and then

317
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,060
that really slow truck.

318
00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:03,430
Daria, if you like, maybe we could stay on an extra day.

319
00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:06,820
Um, I don't think the Admissions Office is open on Saturday.

320
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:10,720
Oh, dear. Well, let's at least drive through the campus and try to get some

321
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:11,370
sense of it.

322
00:18:13,980 --> 00:18:14,950
Wow, deserted.

323
00:18:15,130 --> 00:18:17,370
Daria, just let me know if you want to pull over.

324
00:18:17,570 --> 00:18:19,480
Good thing we didn't get to Bromwell this late, huh?

325
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:27,630
Janet, about our... situation, and all. I was thinking... things are moving

326
00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:28,870
awfully fast.

327
00:18:28,980 --> 00:18:33,930
Exactly. None of this long engagement crap. We've got to get cranking before my

328
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:34,760
eggs dry up!

329
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,830
Janet, we really have to talk.

330
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:40,570
We'll live at my house. Your house, with all those plants and macramé...

331
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,780
See, Janet, that's what I mean. This talk about moving in...

332
00:18:43,910 --> 00:18:47,370
Now, about the honeymoon, I've always had an itch to learn parasailing.

333
00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:48,680
Oh, dear!

334
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:55,800
Absolutely, Eric! Accidents can happen. Listen, they're bound to have pictures

335
00:18:55,910 --> 00:18:59,420
of seagulls covered in oil; maybe we can have pictures of sailors covered in

336
00:18:59,550 --> 00:19:02,840
guano. Okay, Eric, bye.

337
00:19:03,470 --> 00:19:04,930
Daria, how was your trip?

338
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:09,250
Let's see. We spent so much time at Bromwell that we only had time for the

339
00:19:09,410 --> 00:19:13,840
drive-by tour of Raft, but I can safely report it has nice smooth roads.

340
00:19:14,130 --> 00:19:17,930
Oh, that's a shame. But, at least you got to see Bromwell. What did you think?

341
00:19:18,210 --> 00:19:22,150
Well, it's pretty obvious you have to be in Who's Who to teach there, the

342
00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:26,210
libraries are big enough to park a jumbo jet in, and what can I say about the

343
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:30,280
dorm room's high speed computer lines, except that hacking the Pentagon just got

344
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:31,400
a whole lot easier.

345
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:32,630
That sounds wonderful!

346
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:37,060
Yeah. The only drawback is trying to find your classes through the fog of smugness.

347
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:40,480
Yes, it's a small price to pay for a Bromwell education.

348
00:19:40,650 --> 00:19:43,210
So you don't care either that I never got to see Raft.

349
00:19:43,470 --> 00:19:43,930
What?

350
00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:48,410
Hey, Daria! Guess what came in the mail? The Middleton course catalog! And guess

351
00:19:48,530 --> 00:19:52,110
what? They've eliminated all the requirements, so you can take whatever you want!

352
00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:55,320
You know, Bromwell isn't the only university in the world.

353
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,570
Bromwell? I was talking about Middleton.

354
00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:04,680
Wait a minute! Bromwell's not a military school! Yeah, Bromwell! Great idea, Daria!

355
00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:05,570
Leave me alone.

356
00:20:06,130 --> 00:20:06,940
What's the matter with her?

357
00:20:09,230 --> 00:20:12,780
"Will you accept our gift of a dollar just to answer a few simple questions

358
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,770
about potency?" Yeah!

359
00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:22,180
Hey, Quinn, glad you could make it. These are my friends, Cain and Don.

360
00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:24,190
What's your major?

361
00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:28,110
Um, I don't have a major per se. I'm kind of still in high school.

362
00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:30,270
High school? Lucky... not!

363
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:32,980
But I'm planning on going to college.

364
00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:36,890
College is absolutely essential. The concerts and parties are so much better.

365
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,470
I know. I heard "Boys R Guys" are coming.

366
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,850
Yeah. Can you believe it? Are they bad enough?

367
00:20:43,010 --> 00:20:43,380
Awful.

368
00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:48,490
Yeah! They're terrible! So, what bands do you guys like?

369
00:20:52,700 --> 00:21:00,330
I can't submit you to BFAC. You suck. You all suck, too. Or maybe it's time for

370
00:21:00,450 --> 00:21:01,500
Janey's sugar break.

371
00:21:03,130 --> 00:21:11,060
Oh, look, this month's mail. Wow, State University and Lawndale State. "We

372
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:17,250
regret to inform you that..." "Due to an unprecedented number of

373
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,560
applications..." Damn.

374
00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:20,640
Huh?

375
00:21:20,820 --> 00:21:24,170
Both the colleges I applied to rejected me. I knew I shouldn't have taken the

376
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:25,810
math portion of my SATs.

377
00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:30,700
Oh. Hey, sorry. Wasn't there some other college?

378
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:35,420
BFAC? They're waiting for my portfolio. Hmm. No point in busting my ass to

379
00:21:35,530 --> 00:21:36,150
finish that.

380
00:21:36,350 --> 00:21:40,310
No kidding. Who are these people to judge you, anyway?

381
00:21:40,540 --> 00:21:41,260
What do you mean?

382
00:21:41,510 --> 00:21:45,900
Hey Janey, if they could create art, they wouldn't be teaching it.

383
00:21:46,190 --> 00:21:50,260
You know, you're actually beginning to make sense. Why waste four years learning

384
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,910
a bunch of useless technique and theory I'll probably just have to unlearn if I

385
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:55,420
ever want to create my own style?

386
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,230
I've come to a decision. I'm not going to college.

387
00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,450
Good plan.

388
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:03,410
You and I will pursue our muse together, hunker down here in our creative

389
00:22:03,570 --> 00:22:07,510
bunker, periodically issuing forth new works that will invariably rock the art

390
00:22:07,610 --> 00:22:08,890
and music worlds, respectively.

391
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:13,620
Hmmm. This isn't going to require of me to get up for breakfast, is it?

392
00:22:16,470 --> 00:22:20,710
And when my friend woke up, they had stolen his liver. That's what he said.

393
00:22:20,890 --> 00:22:23,740
Although the way he drinks, it's possible he just left it in a bar somewhere.

394
00:22:25,950 --> 00:22:27,710
I wonder who her designer is?

395
00:22:27,910 --> 00:22:29,710
I know, Alicia's dress is awesome!

396
00:22:30,020 --> 00:22:30,590
You like it?

397
00:22:30,910 --> 00:22:34,270
Sure. That's what you meant, right? You weren't trashing her?

398
00:22:34,430 --> 00:22:35,610
No, of course not.

399
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,940
I didn't think so. You're not the type who has to build herself up by putting

400
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:40,950
others down. I hate people like that.

401
00:22:41,210 --> 00:22:45,790
Yeah, me too. This mirror is so pretty. Where did you get it?

402
00:22:45,950 --> 00:22:46,450
I made it.

403
00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:48,560
Really? You know how to make glass?

404
00:22:48,690 --> 00:22:52,150
I bought the actual mirror, but I painted the tiles and put the frame together.

405
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:53,750
I'll make one for you if you like.

406
00:22:53,990 --> 00:22:57,220
Lindy, that's really, really nice, but I can't pay you right away.

407
00:22:57,450 --> 00:23:01,890
Quinn, don't be silly! It's a gift. I make mirrors for all my good friends. I'm

408
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,310
gonna grab another beer, and then you can tell me what colors of tiles you like.

409
00:23:05,470 --> 00:23:06,020
Okay.

410
00:23:11,210 --> 00:23:15,300
Huh? When will Ms. Li stop trying to collect fingerprint samples?

411
00:23:17,470 --> 00:23:17,880
Oh.

412
00:23:21,870 --> 00:23:22,900
The Liquid Dinner?

413
00:23:25,380 --> 00:23:27,170
I hate bad bang fluff days.

414
00:23:27,330 --> 00:23:30,130
Oh, Quinn! I have to talk to you about something just awful!

415
00:23:30,310 --> 00:23:33,400
Hum, Stacy, if this is about how your little toe is all knobbly...

416
00:23:33,550 --> 00:23:36,750
Not that. You know when I made that birthday wish at Governor's Park? Well, I

417
00:23:36,890 --> 00:23:39,930
didn't mean to, but Sandi was talking and it was ruining my concentration, and,

418
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,040
well, I wished she'd just shut up and I blew out the candle and it was too late

419
00:23:43,170 --> 00:23:45,630
to take back the wish and then Sandi came down with laryngitis!

420
00:23:45,810 --> 00:23:49,800
That's terrible! It's like that movie where that lady put that curse on that guy

421
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,740
and he kept losing weight, although I still haven't figured out what was

422
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:53,940
supposed to be bad about that.

423
00:23:54,060 --> 00:23:56,550
I don't know what to do, and I don't want to tell Sandi, because you know how

424
00:23:56,650 --> 00:23:59,940
her eyes get all narrow and her lip curls and she gets that lizard face.

425
00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:02,900
Stacy, this is easily solved. Just lift the curse.

426
00:24:03,060 --> 00:24:05,730
But how do you do that? I didn't know I was cursing her!

427
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:09,980
God, Stacy! What do I look like, a whodoo expert? I don't know how to lift a

428
00:24:10,100 --> 00:24:12,000
curse. You're gonna have to find someone who does.

429
00:24:14,820 --> 00:24:19,460
I'm so excited! I just found out I got in the Great Prairie State University!

430
00:24:19,700 --> 00:24:20,920
You did? Me too!

431
00:24:21,070 --> 00:24:21,490
So did I!

432
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:22,120
Me, too!

433
00:24:22,270 --> 00:24:24,910
Wow! It was really nice of them to take all of us!

434
00:24:25,060 --> 00:24:26,140
Hey, how's it going?

435
00:24:26,260 --> 00:24:30,020
Kevvie! Guess what? Practically the whole cheerleading squad is going to Great

436
00:24:30,170 --> 00:24:31,560
Prairie State University.

437
00:24:31,910 --> 00:24:32,650
That's nice, babe.

438
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,100
Wait, where are you going?

439
00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:34,870
Practice.

440
00:24:35,390 --> 00:24:36,070
Ooh!

441
00:24:36,510 --> 00:24:39,030
Brittany? Didn't you mean where's he going to college?

442
00:24:39,410 --> 00:24:40,270
Hey, yeah!

443
00:24:40,450 --> 00:24:42,330
Brittany, isn't football season over?

444
00:24:42,770 --> 00:24:45,010
Hey, yeah! Kevvie!

445
00:24:47,650 --> 00:24:50,340
Hey, shake the hand of a Vance University man.

446
00:24:50,540 --> 00:24:52,950
You got the scholarship? Oh, Mack! That's great!

447
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:54,860
You're actually shaking my hand?

448
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:55,720
Oh, Mack!

449
00:24:57,050 --> 00:24:57,810
Is something the matter?

450
00:24:58,090 --> 00:25:03,010
What could be the matter? Everything's perfect. I got into Crestmore.

451
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,840
Crestmore took you when Turner didn't? That's weird.

452
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,410
I got into Turner, too.

453
00:25:08,670 --> 00:25:11,130
What? But didn't you tell your father that's where you want to go?

454
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:14,860
I tried, Mack, but he's right. Crestmore is gonna open doors for me that Turner

455
00:25:14,970 --> 00:25:17,130
never could. I think it's a better choice.

456
00:25:17,330 --> 00:25:19,530
No, you don't. Look at you! You're miserable!

457
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:24,020
I don't want to talk about it anymore, okay? I told you, I want to go to Crestmore.

458
00:25:26,460 --> 00:25:30,970
This college waiting game sucks, although it does provide the unexpected benefit

459
00:25:31,090 --> 00:25:33,910
of taking my mind off of every other aspect of my life.

460
00:25:34,100 --> 00:25:36,310
I know the feeling. Well, I did know the feeling.

461
00:25:36,450 --> 00:25:37,750
Or, at least, kind of knew the feeling.

462
00:25:38,060 --> 00:25:39,650
Wait, you heard from BFAC?

463
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:40,910
Um, no.

464
00:25:41,130 --> 00:25:42,810
When do you send in your portfolio?

465
00:25:42,970 --> 00:25:46,490
See, the thing is, Daria, after much thought and consideration, I decided not to

466
00:25:46,610 --> 00:25:48,580
bother. I don't need college to be an artist.

467
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:49,470
You what?

468
00:25:49,580 --> 00:25:53,760
It's not completely my choice. I got rejected by Lawndale State and State University.

469
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:58,750
Oh, sorry. But, you said yourself their art teachers couldn't even draw Spunky.

470
00:25:58,850 --> 00:26:01,900
Exactly, and if college is about placing your fate in the hands of such

471
00:26:02,030 --> 00:26:05,770
untalented dopes, it just seems like a colossal waste of time. Besides, you know

472
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,110
me, I gotta be footloose.

473
00:26:07,290 --> 00:26:11,250
The phrase you're looking for is screw loose. You can't let two rejections from

474
00:26:11,370 --> 00:26:14,440
places you don't even want to go make you afraid to try again.

475
00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:18,500
You know, Daria, not everyone goes to college. In fact, get past the

476
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:22,140
Sloane-esque snobbery, and you'll realize there are a lot of really successful

477
00:26:22,250 --> 00:26:24,870
people with mere high school diplomas, or no diplomas at all.

478
00:26:25,110 --> 00:26:29,620
I'm not saying everyone has to go to college. I'm saying old footloose Jane Lane

479
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:33,460
doesn't know all there is to know yet about art or anything else, and may be

480
00:26:33,530 --> 00:26:37,340
making an ill-advised decision to end her education based on temporary, if

481
00:26:37,470 --> 00:26:39,340
admittedly justified, disappointment.

482
00:26:39,490 --> 00:26:43,400
Daria, you're so predictable. I knew you were going to try to talk me out of this.

483
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:44,810
Is that why you brought it up?

484
00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:48,680
Look, Dr. Freud, I appreciate your concern and all, but our 45 minutes are up.

485
00:26:49,140 --> 00:26:49,750
See you later.

486
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,670
"Sloane-esque snobbery?"

487
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,730
"Welcome to Raft." Great, one down.

488
00:27:06,030 --> 00:27:10,840
"Thank you for your interest in Bromwell... record number of qualified applicants..."

489
00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:15,040
Waiting list! Well, I guess that's settled.

490
00:27:15,350 --> 00:27:16,780
Daria, is everything all right?

491
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,180
I got into Raft.

492
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,700
You did? Congratulations!

493
00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:24,680
Don't put on your party hat just yet. I've been wait-listed at Bromwell.

494
00:27:25,670 --> 00:27:30,900
Oh. Daria, I'm sorry. Although Bromwell's still not out of the question.

495
00:27:31,110 --> 00:27:34,970
You're right. The entire incoming class could still be stricken with a crippling

496
00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,120
disease, moving me up a couple of notches on the waiting list.

497
00:27:38,430 --> 00:27:43,040
Honey, I know you're disappointed, but Raft is a great university, and it's

498
00:27:43,130 --> 00:27:46,730
smaller the Bromwell so you'll probably get more individual attention.

499
00:27:46,860 --> 00:27:50,850
Says the woman who thinks Bromwell is a magic carpet ride to success. Don't

500
00:27:50,970 --> 00:27:51,780
patronize me.

501
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:56,160
Don't patronize me, Daria. I haven't changed my opinion of Bromwell, but I

502
00:27:56,300 --> 00:28:00,000
haven't changed my opinion of Raft, either. It's a wonderful school.

503
00:28:00,140 --> 00:28:02,200
It's just not the wonderful school.

504
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:06,530
One Mai Tai.

505
00:28:09,070 --> 00:28:09,780
Anthony?

506
00:28:09,930 --> 00:28:13,940
Timothy, forgive me if my actions are presumptuous, but I cannot stand idly by

507
00:28:14,100 --> 00:28:18,720
when a colleague and friend teeters on the precipice of unimaginable misery.

508
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,630
Oh, really? It's very refreshing. The citrus adds a tang...

509
00:28:22,790 --> 00:28:26,820
I'm talking about your espousal to the she-devil who walks among us!

510
00:28:27,020 --> 00:28:27,960
Umm... huh?

511
00:28:28,220 --> 00:28:31,040
You... Barch... Engaged!

512
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,440
Eep! You sent me the card! But, how did you know?

513
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:35,420
What'll it be, bub?

514
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,050
I'll have the same, whatever it is.

515
00:28:38,150 --> 00:28:40,160
We're keeping our engagement a secret because of

516
00:28:40,350 --> 00:28:42,400
Ms. Li's rule about faculty fraternization.

517
00:28:42,510 --> 00:28:47,670
Timothy, I cannot be silent! I'm going to help you, help you be strong, help you

518
00:28:47,780 --> 00:28:50,570
stand up for yourself, help you take back the night!

519
00:28:50,830 --> 00:28:57,630
You'd do that for me? Oh, Anthony, I felt so scared, so alone. You're my best

520
00:28:57,730 --> 00:28:58,900
friend in the whole world.

521
00:28:59,850 --> 00:29:04,280
Now, now, Timothy, there's no need for that. You'd do the same for me. Oh, God,

522
00:29:04,620 --> 00:29:06,350
I'm getting dewy-eyed.

523
00:29:17,030 --> 00:29:17,430
Hello?

524
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:18,270
Hey, Daria.

525
00:29:18,450 --> 00:29:18,950
Hi.

526
00:29:19,090 --> 00:29:19,770
What's the matter?

527
00:29:19,900 --> 00:29:24,060
I can't do a thing with my hair. Oh, and I've been wait-listed at Bromwell.

528
00:29:24,170 --> 00:29:26,180
Wait-listed? Nobody gets in from the wait-list.

529
00:29:26,420 --> 00:29:28,390
Stop being so diplomatic, would you?

530
00:29:28,510 --> 00:29:31,300
God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to blurt that out. I'm just shocked.

531
00:29:31,450 --> 00:29:33,020
I did get accepted to Raft.

532
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:34,810
I can't believe it. I was sure you'd get in.

533
00:29:35,020 --> 00:29:37,040
Did I mention that I was accepted at Raft?

534
00:29:37,250 --> 00:29:38,870
Yeah. I mean, that's good.

535
00:29:39,130 --> 00:29:40,870
Try to control your enthusiasm.

536
00:29:41,070 --> 00:29:45,950
Hmm, what about you? You hear anything? You got into Bromwell.

537
00:29:46,470 --> 00:29:47,920
That's sort of why I was calling.

538
00:29:48,100 --> 00:29:51,560
Well, surprise of surprises. A Sloane at Bromwell.

539
00:29:51,810 --> 00:29:53,730
Hey, come on, Daria. It wasn't a sure thing.

540
00:29:53,850 --> 00:29:57,910
Your uncle built them a wing. The only thing that might have kept you out of Bromwell

541
00:29:58,050 --> 00:30:02,330
is a murder conviction, and even then, only if you'd killed the Dean of Students.

542
00:30:02,430 --> 00:30:04,420
Hey, it's not my fault you had a shaky interview.

543
00:30:04,530 --> 00:30:09,130
Yes, well, nothing like dropping a few ancestor anecdotes to convince them of

544
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,950
your qualifications. I got into Raft without any interview at all.

545
00:30:13,150 --> 00:30:14,410
I'm not gonna touch that one.

546
00:30:14,540 --> 00:30:18,280
What are you saying? I got in because they didn't meet me? Screw you!

547
00:30:20,770 --> 00:30:24,470
Quinn, I'm so glad you wanted to see A Kiss Before Heaven. I can't help myself;

548
00:30:24,620 --> 00:30:26,250
I'm a sucker for those tear-jerkers.

549
00:30:26,410 --> 00:30:31,030
Are you kidding? I love hospital room movies. And I hate seeing them with guys.

550
00:30:31,130 --> 00:30:33,160
They always get mad because nothing blows up.

551
00:30:43,270 --> 00:30:45,780
Daria, can we finish our conversation?

552
00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:49,960
Tom got into Bromwell. So you see, they're not rejecting everyone.

553
00:30:50,210 --> 00:30:55,210
Oh, well, some people have a certain... edge over the rest of us.

554
00:30:55,460 --> 00:31:00,570
You don't say. Look, I didn't mean to snap at you, but you're the one who told

555
00:31:00,700 --> 00:31:03,500
me about the advantages of a Bromwell education.

556
00:31:03,660 --> 00:31:04,970
That doesn't mean Raft...

557
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:08,510
I didn't get into the school that I wanted, and you wanted for me. What am I

558
00:31:08,580 --> 00:31:10,350
supposed to think about my prospects?

559
00:31:10,470 --> 00:31:14,760
Your prospects? Daria, you'll be going to your second choice college, not

560
00:31:14,830 --> 00:31:20,070
prison. Look at me: I went to Middleton. It's not half the school that Raft is.

561
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:20,770
What?

562
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:25,680
Middleton's not half the school that Raft is, as you know damned well. I applied

563
00:31:25,830 --> 00:31:29,210
to college during the height of the baby boom. Competition was so fierce I got

564
00:31:29,330 --> 00:31:33,720
rejected from my first and second choices. And, see, I lived to tell about it.

565
00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:34,460
Hmm.

566
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,740
I made the most of the education I did get, and so will you. Raft is an

567
00:31:38,850 --> 00:31:42,850
excellent school. You should be very proud. I know I am.

568
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:46,090
Um, Dad seems to think Middleton's hot stuff.

569
00:31:46,460 --> 00:31:50,250
Your father needs to maintain certain illusions about his youth in order to

570
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,370
function. It's... cute.

571
00:31:53,610 --> 00:31:55,400
I hope I don't end up the same way.

572
00:31:55,640 --> 00:32:00,520
Daria, you're destined for great things no matter where you go to school. I know it.

573
00:32:01,100 --> 00:32:05,410
Hmmm. All right, then. I suppose I can stop worrying about getting into college

574
00:32:05,660 --> 00:32:09,340
and start worrying about this disgusting elitism I have managed to develop

575
00:32:09,430 --> 00:32:10,320
during the process.

576
00:32:10,500 --> 00:32:14,610
Good. That'll keep you from worrying about what kind of weirdo you'll get for a roommate.

577
00:32:16,750 --> 00:32:20,880
Quinn, didn't you love that movie? It was so sad when Eleanor died.

578
00:32:21,110 --> 00:32:24,370
Um, Eleanor didn't die. Her sister Eileen did.

579
00:32:24,580 --> 00:32:28,600
Oh, right. Eileen. What should we do now? Wanna to go clubbing?

580
00:32:28,860 --> 00:32:32,860
Um, thanks, but I'm still in high school. You know, underaged.

581
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:34,280
Oh, yeah. That sucks.

582
00:32:34,530 --> 00:32:38,020
Well, look, it's so nice out, let's just pick up some wine and hang out in the park.

583
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,820
Umm, Lindy, are you sure you want more to drink? It's getting kind of late.

584
00:32:42,010 --> 00:32:45,310
That's what the morning's for. Sleep. Now, where is my car?

585
00:32:45,550 --> 00:32:48,900
Lindy, maybe you shouldn't drive. Come on, I'll call us both a cab.

586
00:32:49,220 --> 00:32:52,660
Well, well, if it isn't Miss Morgendorffer the Younger.

587
00:32:52,910 --> 00:32:54,810
And who is your comely companion?

588
00:32:56,020 --> 00:32:59,250
Upchuck, don't get any ideas or anything, but I need a ride home.

589
00:32:59,450 --> 00:33:00,340
No, you don't.

590
00:33:00,500 --> 00:33:04,830
Do my ears deceive me? A delectable damsel in distress reaching out to Senõr

591
00:33:04,940 --> 00:33:07,250
Suavicito in her hour of need?

592
00:33:07,490 --> 00:33:10,980
Lindy, it's no big deal, he just lives around the corner from me, that's all.

593
00:33:11,090 --> 00:33:14,600
In fact, why don't you come, too? We can pick up your car tomorrow. Do you mind

594
00:33:14,710 --> 00:33:16,000
driving my friend home, Upchuck?

595
00:33:17,050 --> 00:33:21,020
Quinn, the night is so young. I think I'm gonna hit a couple of clubs after all.

596
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:21,970
See you tomorrow.

597
00:33:22,250 --> 00:33:25,540
Lindy, come on, we'll drive you to the clubs! Lindy!

598
00:33:25,780 --> 00:33:29,670
I don't understand the charade about being neighbors, my lissome enchantress,

599
00:33:29,770 --> 00:33:34,880
but it concerns me not. Come, allow me to escort you to my... chariot.

600
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:38,010
Get away from me, you creep. Hello, Cabs 'n Stuff?

601
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:43,450
Hello?

602
00:33:43,630 --> 00:33:45,820
That crack I made was stupid and completely out of line.

603
00:33:46,070 --> 00:33:48,600
Thank you for the bulletin, but I already knew that.

604
00:33:48,780 --> 00:33:49,480
Forgive me?

605
00:33:49,770 --> 00:33:50,950
What's in it for me?

606
00:33:51,110 --> 00:33:54,520
Let's say, for the sake of argument, that my family connections at Bromwell did

607
00:33:54,610 --> 00:33:57,900
help me get in. I'm sure that my parents would be happy to write a letter of

608
00:33:58,010 --> 00:33:59,420
recommendation for you. What do you say?

609
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:04,660
Yes, Virginia, there really is such a thing as noblesse oblige. Thanks, but I'll

610
00:34:04,810 --> 00:34:08,690
pass. I'd rather get in on my own merits, and besides, I think I'm gonna like

611
00:34:08,790 --> 00:34:09,940
Raft just fine.

612
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:10,610
You sure?

613
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,440
Yeah, but thanks.

614
00:34:15,950 --> 00:34:16,950
Your eight o'clock is here.

615
00:34:17,240 --> 00:34:17,860
Send him in.

616
00:34:18,700 --> 00:34:21,730
Come in, Mack. Have a seat, and congratulations about Vance.

617
00:34:21,950 --> 00:34:24,250
Thank you. Thanks for squeezing me in before school.

618
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:28,370
No problem, no problem. You said on the phone you wanted to talk about Jodie?

619
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:29,010
Yeah.

620
00:34:29,130 --> 00:34:32,250
You're not gonna ask me for her hand in marriage, are you? Because I'm too young

621
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:34,070
to be a grandfather, Mack, you understand?

622
00:34:34,230 --> 00:34:37,370
Grandfather? Ummm, no, Mr. Landon, it's nothing like that.

623
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:41,900
Thank you, God! I mean... of course not. So, how can I help you?

624
00:34:42,150 --> 00:34:45,550
I hope you don't think I'm out of line, but Jodie's been acting really unhappy

625
00:34:45,650 --> 00:34:47,300
lately, and I think it's because of Crestmore.

626
00:34:47,430 --> 00:34:51,240
Impossible! We had a long talk about it and she's really looking forward to going.

627
00:34:51,430 --> 00:34:54,670
With all due respect, sir, I don't believe that's true. I think she really needs

628
00:34:54,770 --> 00:34:57,110
a different kind of environment. Like Turner.

629
00:34:57,620 --> 00:35:00,020
How is she gonna go to Turner? She didn't even apply.

630
00:35:00,750 --> 00:35:04,570
Look, Michael, if Jodie passes on Crestmore, she'll end up regretting it for the

631
00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:05,480
rest of her life.

632
00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:08,810
Anyway, if she really wanted to go to Turner, she'd have applied there.

633
00:35:09,050 --> 00:35:10,410
She did. She got in.

634
00:35:10,710 --> 00:35:11,060
What?

635
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:13,320
She got in. She's afraid to tell you.

636
00:35:15,710 --> 00:35:18,640
Well, that was nice of Tom to offer to get his folks to write to Bromwell.

637
00:35:18,810 --> 00:35:22,940
It's just that the whole thing smacks of some crappy romance novel where the

638
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,960
troubled young viscount decides the lowly stable girl is good enough for him

639
00:35:27,070 --> 00:35:27,650
after all.

640
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:29,730
I always saw you as more of a scullery maid.

641
00:35:29,930 --> 00:35:31,960
And why should the Sloane's seal of approval

642
00:35:32,070 --> 00:35:33,990
matter more to Bromwell than my transcripts?

643
00:35:34,230 --> 00:35:38,160
"Dear Dean Skippy, please admit Daria. She's a fine young woman, even if she

644
00:35:38,260 --> 00:35:39,170
isn't one of us."

645
00:35:39,340 --> 00:35:43,620
Exactly. Besides, if they write a recommendation, it'll just make it that much

646
00:35:43,750 --> 00:35:45,710
worse when I do get that ultimate rejection.

647
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:49,060
You are very wise for a humble laundress, and generous, too.

648
00:35:49,410 --> 00:35:50,520
How come you bought the pizza?

649
00:35:50,730 --> 00:35:54,310
To make you feel too guilty to storm off in a huff when I ask if you've sent

650
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:56,150
your portfolio in to BFAC yet.

651
00:35:56,350 --> 00:35:57,820
Why bother? It's too late.

652
00:35:58,070 --> 00:35:59,470
Not for mid-year enrollment.

653
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,430
Daria, I already told you. I'm just not the college type.

654
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:08,430
Oooh, a cheeseless bell pepper pizza! And you don't even like cheeseless.

655
00:36:08,610 --> 00:36:10,460
Hey! Nothing but the best for my babe!

656
00:36:10,610 --> 00:36:14,370
I just love bell peppers. You can almost hear them ringing.

657
00:36:14,660 --> 00:36:18,520
Hey, Brit, even if you're gone away to Great Prairie State next year, you'll

658
00:36:18,650 --> 00:36:22,000
still be my babe, right? I mean, no matter where I go? Right?

659
00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:24,370
Um, sure. Why do you ask?

660
00:36:24,550 --> 00:36:28,400
I just wanted to see how deep is your love, babe. Hey, and speaking of deep,

661
00:36:28,500 --> 00:36:34,820
watch this! I'm a clown, I'm a clown, I'm a... Funny, huh babe?

662
00:36:37,330 --> 00:36:40,250
I couldn't paint anything decent with that application hanging over my head,

663
00:36:40,370 --> 00:36:44,200
anyway. Believe me, that portfolio would never have gotten me into BFAC.

664
00:36:44,610 --> 00:36:47,630
Que ironico, the minute the pressure was off, I started doing some really

665
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:48,710
interesting stuff again.

666
00:36:48,970 --> 00:36:51,850
So it's the old "reject them before they reject me."

667
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,800
Yeah, the same thing you're doing with Bromwell.

668
00:36:53,930 --> 00:36:55,840
I was already rejected by Bromwell.

669
00:36:56,060 --> 00:36:58,520
So was I. By State U and Lawndale State.

670
00:36:58,690 --> 00:37:02,820
But you told me you don't care what their sucky art departments thought of your work.

671
00:37:03,030 --> 00:37:05,330
Really. They're so sucky they didn't even ask to see it.

672
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:05,960
What?

673
00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:09,230
They didn't ask to see any of my stuff, so I didn't send any.

674
00:37:09,410 --> 00:37:13,540
Wait. You get rejected by schools that don't care if you have artistic talent,

675
00:37:13,670 --> 00:37:16,340
but the one that does care, you decide not to go for?

676
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,590
For the same reason you're not gonna let the Sloanes write a letter that might

677
00:37:19,710 --> 00:37:22,500
get you into Bromwell, even though you wouldn't have to lift a finger. Rejection

678
00:37:22,610 --> 00:37:24,250
sucks. You said so yourself.

679
00:37:25,870 --> 00:37:30,560
I'll make you a deal. If I prostrate myself before the Sloanes and ask them for

680
00:37:30,670 --> 00:37:34,100
that letter, will you finish your portfolio and send it to BFAC?

681
00:37:35,170 --> 00:37:37,510
God, Daria! You must really think I have a shot.

682
00:37:38,060 --> 00:37:41,130
You drive a hard bargain, Morgendorffer, but you've got yourself a deal.

683
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:48,010
Hello?

684
00:37:48,450 --> 00:37:50,790
Hey. You know that letter we talked about?

685
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,000
Well, I guess it couldn't hurt.

686
00:37:53,150 --> 00:37:53,720
Great.

687
00:37:53,850 --> 00:37:56,500
I'll ask my parents right now. I'm sure they do this kind of things all the time.

688
00:37:56,910 --> 00:37:59,660
Oh, good. Then they can just send out the form letter.

689
00:37:59,810 --> 00:38:02,710
The good form letter. Let me catch them before they go out. Call me later?

690
00:38:03,070 --> 00:38:05,300
Sure. Um, thanks.

691
00:38:06,580 --> 00:38:06,990
Damn.

692
00:38:10,100 --> 00:38:13,590
Yo, Trent! You're just in time to run me down to Package-Air. I want to get my

693
00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:14,960
portfolio off to BFAC.

694
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:18,230
Whoa. I thought you weren't going to college.

695
00:38:18,380 --> 00:38:21,200
I changed my mind, although first, I kind of have to get them to take me.

696
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,470
What about focusing on your art?

697
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:27,340
See, I can do that at Boston Fine Arts College. That's why they put in the word

698
00:38:27,450 --> 00:38:28,950
"arts." Come on, let's go.

699
00:38:29,210 --> 00:38:33,720
I don't know. I have to get used to this whole selling out thing first.

700
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:37,310
Trent, I'm not selling out. I'm attempting to acquire the skills and knowledge

701
00:38:37,430 --> 00:38:40,720
that will allow me to sell out. Now, are you gonna give me a ride, or do I have

702
00:38:40,830 --> 00:38:43,090
to throw fear into the hearts of pedestrians by myself?

703
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,550
Huh. See you later.

704
00:38:48,650 --> 00:38:50,030
Yeah... later.

705
00:38:53,690 --> 00:38:55,020
Hi, Jodie. What are you doing?

706
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:56,700
Do you need me something? I'll get up.

707
00:38:57,140 --> 00:38:59,150
We just want to talk to you. About Mack.

708
00:38:59,540 --> 00:39:00,160
What about him?

709
00:39:00,310 --> 00:39:01,920
He came to see me at my office.

710
00:39:02,100 --> 00:39:03,810
What? Without telling me? Why?

711
00:39:04,020 --> 00:39:07,790
He's got quite an imagination. He seems to think you want to go to Turner so

712
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:09,870
much you applied there behind our backs.

713
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:15,740
"Curse Begone. For the reversal and elimination of curses, spells and

714
00:39:15,900 --> 00:39:19,610
incantations. No animals were harmed to make this product, other than the ones

715
00:39:19,710 --> 00:39:23,350
we sacrificed." Boy, I hope this stuff works, or Sandi will never talk to me

716
00:39:23,470 --> 00:39:30,220
again. Actually, she'll never talk to anyone again. That's not funny, Stacy!

717
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,320
Sandi, I'm so sorry it took me so long, but I wanted to make sure the ice in

718
00:39:37,470 --> 00:39:40,410
your soda was crushed enough because I know how you hate big or even medium

719
00:39:40,530 --> 00:39:44,290
chunks of ice. You know, my Mom says soda rots your teeth, but if it were really

720
00:39:44,420 --> 00:39:46,530
true, wouldn't you see a lot more people in high school with dentures or no

721
00:39:46,650 --> 00:39:48,020
teeth at all, just tiny little stubs?

722
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:50,750
Stacy. Eww...

723
00:39:50,850 --> 00:39:54,810
Sorry. So, how are the sodas? I mean, not that they shouldn't be okay.

724
00:39:56,610 --> 00:39:58,750
Ewww. What's in this?

725
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,680
Oh, no! I must have given you the one with the potion.

726
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:10,390
Oh, Sandi, I am so sorry. See, when I was blowing out my birthday candles, I

727
00:40:10,510 --> 00:40:13,510
accidentally wished you'd be, well, quiet, and then you lost your voice and I

728
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,850
was afraid to tell you so I got this curse undoer stuff over the Internet and I

729
00:40:16,970 --> 00:40:20,120
guess I used too much because I really wanted you to be cured, and then Tiffany

730
00:40:20,220 --> 00:40:22,720
got it by mistake and I am so sorry!

731
00:40:25,750 --> 00:40:30,080
No, Sandi, I swear! I didn't try to kill you! See, it's only Cayenne pepper,

732
00:40:30,230 --> 00:40:33,970
cooking oil, and some big long name. Sandi, you know I would never hurt anybody,

733
00:40:34,070 --> 00:40:38,010
especially not you. I mean, I really, really care about people. Please, I'll do

734
00:40:38,110 --> 00:40:40,730
anything to make it up to you! Just tell me what to do.

735
00:40:43,050 --> 00:40:47,510
Now, here is my kind of credit card bill. No Cashman's, no Doo Dads, just a

736
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:53,030
single two-hundred dollar charge to Bulk Cat Food dot com. Cat food? This isn't

737
00:40:53,130 --> 00:40:56,720
our address... this isn't my name! Damn idiot mailman!

738
00:40:56,910 --> 00:41:01,900
Jake, settle down! Hmmm, from Bromwell. Daria, look what just came in.

739
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:06,220
Either that's a rejection, or they printed the registration forms on microfilm.

740
00:41:06,430 --> 00:41:08,060
Now, don't jump to any conclusions.

741
00:41:10,740 --> 00:41:14,280
Well, the freshman class is full. I won't be going to Bromwell.

742
00:41:14,710 --> 00:41:15,320
Oh, honey.

743
00:41:15,530 --> 00:41:19,420
That sucks, Daria! Passing on a smart kid like you! They're idiots!

744
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:21,590
You know what? I'm not even sorry.

745
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:23,430
You have nothing to be sorry about.

746
00:41:23,750 --> 00:41:30,650
Stuffy arrogant... "Oh, look at us, we're Bromwell!" But listen, Middleton is a

747
00:41:30,740 --> 00:41:35,810
very good school. Well, a pretty good school. Well, anyway it was good enough

748
00:41:35,930 --> 00:41:36,620
for your mother and me.

749
00:41:36,750 --> 00:41:37,190
Jake...

750
00:41:37,340 --> 00:41:39,970
Um, Dad... about Middleton... I didn't apply there.

751
00:41:40,180 --> 00:41:44,510
You didn't? So... you're going ahead with this crazy notion about military school?

752
00:41:44,720 --> 00:41:45,850
Military school?

753
00:41:46,010 --> 00:41:49,410
Jake! What are you talking about? Daria is going to Raft.

754
00:41:49,620 --> 00:41:54,700
Raft? You mean, no barracks? No buzzcut? No inspection time? Latrine duty?

755
00:41:54,860 --> 00:41:56,490
Training marches at 0600 hours?

756
00:41:56,730 --> 00:42:01,320
Hmmm, if Raft has those things, it was pretty crafty of the brochure just to

757
00:42:01,430 --> 00:42:04,020
show kids on the quad hanging out and throwing frisbees.

758
00:42:04,180 --> 00:42:09,140
Oh, thank God! My daughter, going to college instead of a military academy. Hey,

759
00:42:09,250 --> 00:42:14,100
Raft is a damned good school. Daria, you won't be sorry you did this. There'll

760
00:42:14,210 --> 00:42:15,480
always be time for the army later!

761
00:42:16,580 --> 00:42:20,320
You'll understand when I don't invite my roommate home for Thanksgiving, right?

762
00:42:22,140 --> 00:42:23,050
How long is the wait for two?

763
00:42:23,250 --> 00:42:24,340
Table twenty-one is ready.

764
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:25,510
I'll seat you right now.

765
00:42:27,170 --> 00:42:29,130
I'm sorry. Is there a problem here?

766
00:42:29,300 --> 00:42:31,510
That hostess seated those people who just came in,

767
00:42:31,610 --> 00:42:33,060
and we've been waiting forty minutes.

768
00:42:33,260 --> 00:42:36,440
My apologies. Let me see what I can do, and dessert's on me.

769
00:42:47,110 --> 00:42:50,790
Folks, we've been holding a table for six we can split up. Please, come with me

770
00:42:50,900 --> 00:42:54,200
and I'll get you settled right away. Then the three of us are gonna have a

771
00:42:54,350 --> 00:42:54,900
little talk.

772
00:42:56,050 --> 00:42:56,960
What's that about?

773
00:42:57,110 --> 00:42:59,110
Oh, Quinn, I'd never thought he'd find it there.

774
00:42:59,320 --> 00:42:59,840
Find what?

775
00:43:00,020 --> 00:43:00,830
My screwdriver.

776
00:43:01,130 --> 00:43:02,550
Lindy! You've been drinking?!

777
00:43:02,740 --> 00:43:06,450
Just a little hair of the dog. I wouldn't have done it except I'm really hung over.

778
00:43:06,650 --> 00:43:07,680
But we're at work!

779
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:12,520
I know. Damn, damn, damn! Quinn, listen to me. Normally, I would never, ever ask

780
00:43:12,670 --> 00:43:16,060
you to do something like this, but I'm in college, I'm broke, I really need this

781
00:43:16,180 --> 00:43:19,260
job. Maybe if we said we think one of the bus boys left it there or something?

782
00:43:19,370 --> 00:43:20,900
But then, won't they get in trouble?

783
00:43:21,090 --> 00:43:23,860
Ladies, Shawna's gonna man your post for a while. Come with me.

784
00:43:29,730 --> 00:43:32,870
Okay, I want to know whose cup this is. Quinn?

785
00:43:33,470 --> 00:43:35,000
Umm, it's not mine.

786
00:43:35,210 --> 00:43:36,430
We don't know whose it is.

787
00:43:36,540 --> 00:43:39,010
Then explain to me why this smudge here matches your lipstick.

788
00:43:39,210 --> 00:43:40,580
That could be anybody's lipstick!

789
00:43:40,700 --> 00:43:41,250
Not really.

790
00:43:41,390 --> 00:43:44,770
For instance, Quinn asked me if she could try my lipstick... not that I'm saying

791
00:43:44,910 --> 00:43:45,840
it's hers, of course...

792
00:43:45,980 --> 00:43:46,950
Oh, Lindy...

793
00:43:48,070 --> 00:43:48,690
Come on, Lindy.

794
00:43:49,260 --> 00:43:52,910
Please, Michael, I've never done anything like this before, I swear. I don't

795
00:43:53,030 --> 00:43:55,130
even like to drink. It's just I have this migraine...

796
00:43:55,750 --> 00:43:56,820
I'm gonna have to let you go.

797
00:44:02,050 --> 00:44:03,430
Damn! You know what I've just realized?

798
00:44:03,610 --> 00:44:05,640
The phrase "chicken fingers" is misleading ?

799
00:44:05,850 --> 00:44:08,440
Besides that. We forgot to check out the pizza in Newtown.

800
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:12,120
Oh. Well, I guess you'll just have to send mine Package-Air to Boston.

801
00:44:12,310 --> 00:44:15,860
Won't that be a little messy? Oh, Daria! No!

802
00:44:16,010 --> 00:44:18,870
Yep. It's official. I didn't get into Bromwell.

803
00:44:19,210 --> 00:44:22,960
I'm really sorry. And after my parents wrote such a glowing recommendation, too.

804
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:27,440
Shocking, isn't it? I'm such a loser, even a nod from the Sloanes couldn't help me.

805
00:44:27,650 --> 00:44:28,560
That's not what I meant.

806
00:44:28,710 --> 00:44:33,080
Good. Because I'm not a loser, and even if I didn't go to the right prep school,

807
00:44:33,220 --> 00:44:35,510
or pull the right strings, or donate a wing...

808
00:44:35,660 --> 00:44:36,470
It was my uncle!

809
00:44:37,670 --> 00:44:42,010
Listen. You're a smart guy and a good student. I'm sure you deserve to get into

810
00:44:42,110 --> 00:44:44,410
Bromwell, and I wish you every success there.

811
00:44:44,590 --> 00:44:47,980
Well, that's a nice thing to say, even if that Daria voice of yours makes it

812
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,060
sound like a kiss off... wait...

813
00:44:50,230 --> 00:44:51,320
I think we should break up.

814
00:44:51,500 --> 00:44:52,900
What? When did you decide this?

815
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:53,850
Just now.

816
00:44:54,020 --> 00:44:57,110
Because I got into Bromwell and you didn't? That's not fair, Daria.

817
00:44:57,300 --> 00:44:59,300
It's got nothing to do with Bromwell.

818
00:44:59,460 --> 00:45:01,810
Well, if it's not about Bromwell, then what? Why?

819
00:45:03,070 --> 00:45:05,560
Because you're going one place and I'm going another.

820
00:45:05,740 --> 00:45:07,500
So what? We won't be that far away.

821
00:45:07,660 --> 00:45:11,840
I don't mean physically. I mean you're from one place and I'm from another, and

822
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,000
college is going to make it even more obvious.

823
00:45:14,150 --> 00:45:14,840
I don't believe that.

824
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:19,430
Tom... we have little enough in common as it is. Now we won't see each other for

825
00:45:19,530 --> 00:45:23,130
months at a time, and every time we do, it'll be more difficult to pick up where

826
00:45:23,260 --> 00:45:24,060
we left off.

827
00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:25,200
Not if we work at it.

828
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,580
Why should we work at it when we are already getting bored?

829
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:29,130
Who's bored? I'm not bored.

830
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:32,480
Really? Or are you just upset that I admitted it first?

831
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:37,580
You'll get over it. We both will.

832
00:45:37,870 --> 00:45:39,250
Hey, kids! What's new?

833
00:45:40,740 --> 00:45:43,330
Oops, sorry. Wrong table.

834
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:52,520
Hi.

835
00:45:53,030 --> 00:45:53,370
Hmm.

836
00:45:54,130 --> 00:45:54,930
TV's off.

837
00:45:55,340 --> 00:45:57,840
Yeah. Want something?

838
00:45:58,220 --> 00:46:02,780
No. Just... if you had a friend and you knew she had a problem but she didn't,

839
00:46:02,900 --> 00:46:03,830
would you tell her?

840
00:46:04,060 --> 00:46:04,620
Huh?

841
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:08,710
This girl I was working with... I think she has a drinking problem. If I don't

842
00:46:08,810 --> 00:46:12,020
say anything, I'm afraid she'll get an accident or something, but if I do say

843
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:15,440
something, she'll probably never speak to me again. Not that she is now.

844
00:46:15,820 --> 00:46:20,440
I don't really feel qualified to give any advice on interpersonal relationships today.

845
00:46:20,770 --> 00:46:21,250
Why not?

846
00:46:21,450 --> 00:46:25,730
I just broke up with my boyfriend. It's kind of a first for me. So's this

847
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,420
feeling in my stomach like it's been through a paper shredder.

848
00:46:28,550 --> 00:46:29,660
You broke up with Tom?

849
00:46:29,810 --> 00:46:31,830
You sound almost surprised as I was.

850
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:32,540
Why?

851
00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:36,620
Because I felt we'd come to the end of our relationship, for a bunch of reasons,

852
00:46:36,710 --> 00:46:38,040
and we should both move on.

853
00:46:38,150 --> 00:46:40,000
So you said that to him, just like that?

854
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:44,520
For some reason, I continue to opt for honesty, despite mounting evidence that

855
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:49,160
it's inexorably transforming me into an old woman alone in a one room apartment

856
00:46:49,300 --> 00:46:51,660
filled with thirty year old newspapers and cats.

857
00:46:51,810 --> 00:46:55,920
Oh, Daria, that's not gonna happen to you. I was at a college party. I know what

858
00:46:56,020 --> 00:46:57,920
goes on there. People are smart and nice.

859
00:46:58,130 --> 00:46:59,750
So it's the opposite of high school?

860
00:46:59,930 --> 00:47:02,840
You're gonna have friends and everything. I know it sounds hard to believe.

861
00:47:03,010 --> 00:47:05,490
Gee, thanks. But, um, thanks.

862
00:47:06,300 --> 00:47:08,690
You were right to be honest. That's what I'm gonna do.

863
00:47:08,870 --> 00:47:11,040
Good. You can help me feed the cats.

864
00:47:14,720 --> 00:47:19,470
Daria, your face at the pizza place. Your face now... did that bastard dump you?

865
00:47:19,780 --> 00:47:21,450
I was always afraid he'd do that!

866
00:47:21,610 --> 00:47:23,000
No, I dumped him.

867
00:47:23,210 --> 00:47:26,520
You dumped... you're the bastard? Whoa.

868
00:47:26,620 --> 00:47:30,190
Yes, I'm the bastard, and the bastard is hurting like hell.

869
00:47:38,550 --> 00:47:41,250
Oh, hi. I didn't think I'd ever see you again.

870
00:47:41,530 --> 00:47:43,500
Why not? We're friends, right?

871
00:47:43,810 --> 00:47:47,510
I mean, that was a really crappy thing I said about you borrowing my lipstick. I

872
00:47:47,610 --> 00:47:49,650
can't believe I did it. I was desperate.

873
00:47:49,830 --> 00:47:50,330
I know.

874
00:47:50,490 --> 00:47:53,810
It was, like, the worst thing I've ever done in my life, and I'm really sorry.

875
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:57,510
Lindy, I know I'm only in high school and I'm not really used to be around

876
00:47:57,620 --> 00:48:00,850
people who drink except for my father, but that's only when he's really mad and

877
00:48:00,950 --> 00:48:04,490
talking about military school and even then... and okay, my mother had a few too

878
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:07,410
many at this wedding, but if you knew my aunt Rita, and I think you have a

879
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:08,150
drinking problem.

880
00:48:10,540 --> 00:48:13,240
All right, I hurt you, you hurt me, fair enough.

881
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:17,010
I'm not trying to hurt you, Lindy. You really need to think about your drinking.

882
00:48:17,350 --> 00:48:20,900
Quinn, I'm in college. Everybody drinks. If I had a problem, it would be

883
00:48:21,020 --> 00:48:23,210
affecting my schoolwork or personal life, wouldn't it?

884
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:24,920
But you got fired because of it!

885
00:48:25,070 --> 00:48:28,820
I got fired because Michael's a jerk. And guess what? I already found another job.

886
00:48:29,010 --> 00:48:32,440
But you just said that what happened in Michael's office was the worst thing you

887
00:48:32,580 --> 00:48:35,560
ever did in your life. Doesn't that mean it's affecting you?

888
00:48:35,700 --> 00:48:39,230
That was out of panic, and now with your nasty little accusations, you've gotten

889
00:48:39,410 --> 00:48:42,680
me back for. Which is what I guess you came over in the first place. So, we're

890
00:48:42,780 --> 00:48:43,950
even, okay? So goodbye.

891
00:48:44,270 --> 00:48:44,830
Goodbye?

892
00:48:45,150 --> 00:48:48,320
I've got a paper due tomorrow and I've got a lot of writing left to go. You

893
00:48:48,420 --> 00:48:51,460
noticed I said writing, not drinking. You'll noticed I've a got a book opened,

894
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:54,270
not a bottle And now the door's open, too.

895
00:49:10,710 --> 00:49:11,110
Hello?

896
00:49:20,130 --> 00:49:22,390
All right! Last day of school. No more classes.

897
00:49:22,530 --> 00:49:23,090
Or homework!

898
00:49:23,250 --> 00:49:24,620
Or those things with the pages!

899
00:49:25,370 --> 00:49:25,740
Books?

900
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:26,690
Yeah, that's it.

901
00:49:27,630 --> 00:49:29,370
I want to talk to you. Alone.

902
00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:33,160
Okay. Obviously, you found out that I went to see your father.

903
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:35,010
And told him what I confided in you.

904
00:49:35,250 --> 00:49:36,650
Look, I was just trying to help.

905
00:49:36,830 --> 00:49:41,750
Yeah? Well, as a result of your butting in... I'm going to Turner! I'm going to Turner!

906
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:42,930
You are? That's great!

907
00:49:43,110 --> 00:49:46,240
My parents said that if I was so upset about Crestmore that I applied to Turner

908
00:49:46,310 --> 00:49:49,850
behind their backs, they had to respect my feelings. They told me I'd earned the

909
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:51,300
right to be treated like an adult.

910
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:52,450
I knew you'd work it out.

911
00:49:52,630 --> 00:49:56,720
I wouldn't have worked it out without you. Did I ever tell you how lucky I am to

912
00:49:56,820 --> 00:49:57,430
have you?

913
00:49:58,580 --> 00:50:01,030
Jodie! Mack! Have you seen Mr. O'Neill?

914
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:02,560
Nope, haven't seen him.

915
00:50:02,780 --> 00:50:05,970
Oh sure. All you males stick together!

916
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:12,970
Kevvie, do you want to go to the place we have to go to get the cap and gown

917
00:50:13,110 --> 00:50:13,610
with me?

918
00:50:13,790 --> 00:50:16,280
Mmmm, nah! But, you go ahead.

919
00:50:16,430 --> 00:50:18,420
Why? Did you already get yours?

920
00:50:18,650 --> 00:50:22,400
Um, Brit... remember when you said you'd still be my babe, no matter where I

921
00:50:22,510 --> 00:50:23,010
went to school?

922
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:25,260
Umm... I think so.

923
00:50:25,420 --> 00:50:26,280
But you will, right?

924
00:50:26,420 --> 00:50:28,210
Sure! Where are you going?

925
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:29,610
Right here, babe!

926
00:50:30,020 --> 00:50:30,400
Huh?

927
00:50:30,810 --> 00:50:36,130
Right here. Lawndale High. See, um, my grades were so good, they want to see if

928
00:50:36,250 --> 00:50:36,900
I can do it again.

929
00:50:37,110 --> 00:50:43,270
Ohhh. Wait a minute... your grades aren't good... Kevvie, you flunked!

930
00:50:43,420 --> 00:50:45,740
No, no, no! I just, um, didn't pass.

931
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:49,340
But, see, if I repeat this year, then my grades will be really good.

932
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:52,310
Mr. O'Neill says I can go away to any college in the country!

933
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:52,940
Really?

934
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:57,630
Or did he say some college way out in the country? Anyway, we're still, like,

935
00:50:57,770 --> 00:50:58,820
boyfriend and girlfriend, right?

936
00:50:59,170 --> 00:51:00,800
Ummm, sure.

937
00:51:04,130 --> 00:51:09,310
Timothy, you've got to be firm. Now, repeat after me: "Barch, it'll be a cold

938
00:51:09,410 --> 00:51:14,430
day in hell before I kiss my common sense and will to live goodbye, and enter

939
00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:19,890
the bonds of unholy matrimony with such a shrew!" Now, you!

940
00:51:20,110 --> 00:51:23,400
Um, Janet, it'll be a chilly day in Hades...

941
00:51:23,530 --> 00:51:24,080
LOUDER!

942
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:25,280
Uh, Janet...

943
00:51:25,550 --> 00:51:29,510
There you are. If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were hiding from me!

944
00:51:29,690 --> 00:51:31,150
Oh. Me? Hiding?

945
00:51:32,450 --> 00:51:36,700
Madam? Timothy has something he'd like to say to you! Don't you, Timothy?

946
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:40,650
Well, what is it? And make it snappy, Skinny, we have to go pick our honeymoon

947
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:41,420
cruise wear.

948
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:45,120
Um, Janet, about the wedding, well, um, you see...

949
00:51:45,310 --> 00:51:49,060
There's not gonna be a wedding, so you can dig your talons into the flesh of

950
00:51:49,240 --> 00:51:50,220
some other prey!

951
00:51:50,340 --> 00:51:50,820
WHAT?

952
00:51:50,900 --> 00:51:51,550
You heard him.

953
00:51:51,670 --> 00:51:55,870
Uh, you see, Janet, It's not that you wouldn't make a very desirable life partner...

954
00:51:56,080 --> 00:52:01,540
All right then, Mr. Gigolo, you hear this: if there's no wedding, then that's

955
00:52:01,650 --> 00:52:06,940
it. It's over, buster. We will never play farmwife and National Geographic

956
00:52:07,050 --> 00:52:08,410
photographer again.

957
00:52:09,220 --> 00:52:10,090
Timothy?

958
00:52:11,210 --> 00:52:12,020
As you wish.

959
00:52:12,220 --> 00:52:12,850
Aargh!

960
00:52:13,170 --> 00:52:16,340
Congratulations! You stood up to her like a man!

961
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:17,350
Exactly!

962
00:52:18,720 --> 00:52:22,050
Ow! My good eye! Aaaaaah!

963
00:52:28,690 --> 00:52:32,190
Stacy, of course Sandi didn't say anything about being mad at you.

964
00:52:32,310 --> 00:52:33,560
She can't talk, remember?

965
00:52:36,220 --> 00:52:41,520
Stacy, I've got to call you back. Um, hi, Lindy. Come in! How are you?

966
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:45,730
I'm just fine, really great. Um, I forgot to give this to you when you came over

967
00:52:45,870 --> 00:52:46,330
the other day.

968
00:52:47,420 --> 00:52:50,140
Lindy! The mirror; it's beautiful!

969
00:52:50,310 --> 00:52:51,220
You really like it?

970
00:52:51,330 --> 00:52:52,850
I love it! Thank you!

971
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:58,820
Um, listen, about our conversation. Maybe every now and then I do go a little

972
00:52:58,950 --> 00:53:03,190
overboard when I drink, but that doesn't mean I've got a problem. Believe me, I

973
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:05,540
you'd had my mother, you know how the real problem looks like.

974
00:53:05,820 --> 00:53:06,240
Oh.

975
00:53:06,420 --> 00:53:09,420
You know how I'm sure I can handle it? Whenever I think I'm drinking too much, I

976
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:11,700
stop for a week, just to prove to myself that I can.

977
00:53:11,950 --> 00:53:12,320
Really?

978
00:53:12,500 --> 00:53:14,870
Yeah. I do it all the time. So you see?

979
00:53:15,130 --> 00:53:16,950
Yeah, that's great, Lindy.

980
00:53:17,670 --> 00:53:19,520
Anyway, I'm glad you like the mirror.

981
00:53:19,690 --> 00:53:20,880
It's beautiful.

982
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:22,270
Thanks. I'll see you around.

983
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:25,710
Um, Lindy? Do you want to go to a movie or something?

984
00:53:25,930 --> 00:53:28,140
I can't today, but I'll give you a call, okay?

985
00:53:28,770 --> 00:53:29,970
Okay, sure.

986
00:53:34,390 --> 00:53:34,760
Hey.

987
00:53:35,110 --> 00:53:37,340
Wow, you're talking to a sellout like me?

988
00:53:37,540 --> 00:53:38,510
About that...

989
00:53:38,740 --> 00:53:39,210
Yes?

990
00:53:39,410 --> 00:53:41,840
I don't really think you're a sellout.

991
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:45,640
Well, that's not exactly an apology, but you know what they say about beggars.

992
00:53:45,900 --> 00:53:48,120
That they only spend it on booze?

993
00:53:48,270 --> 00:53:48,900
Never mind.

994
00:53:49,100 --> 00:53:50,470
Um, Janey?

995
00:53:50,750 --> 00:53:51,680
Um, Trent?

996
00:53:51,860 --> 00:53:57,720
This college thing... I gave it... thought... and, um, I kind of understand if

997
00:53:57,820 --> 00:53:58,680
you want to go.

998
00:53:58,930 --> 00:54:01,660
What I don't get is why you were so against it in the first place.

999
00:54:01,840 --> 00:54:06,870
I guess I didn't want you to go because... well... you would be there...

1000
00:54:07,070 --> 00:54:08,850
Admirable grasp of the situation.

1001
00:54:09,070 --> 00:54:10,580
...and I would be here.

1002
00:54:10,930 --> 00:54:13,450
Oh. You're worried about losing me?

1003
00:54:13,860 --> 00:54:19,530
Well, the house gets kind of spooky at night. Maybe I should get a puppy.

1004
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:22,830
Hey, Trent, do you really think I'm gonna let you slack off being my brother

1005
00:54:22,930 --> 00:54:24,300
just because of an address change?

1006
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:25,160
Hmm.

1007
00:54:25,260 --> 00:54:28,940
Now, listen. My guess is Mom and Dad won't be back from the Azores until monsoon

1008
00:54:29,060 --> 00:54:32,220
season's over. You want to represent the Lane family at my graduation?

1009
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:35,550
I didn't even go to my own graduation.

1010
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:36,930
So you did graduate.

1011
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:38,330
I'm pretty sure...

1012
00:54:44,130 --> 00:54:47,820
Hmm. What's Tom doing out there? He looks unhappy about something.

1013
00:54:48,020 --> 00:54:50,720
He's probably mad at those stuck-up Bromwell goons, too!

1014
00:54:50,970 --> 00:54:53,500
Lousy, tea-drinking, pinky-raising...

1015
00:54:53,610 --> 00:54:57,310
Jake! Tom got into Bromwell. Oh!

1016
00:55:02,060 --> 00:55:03,150
Um, hello.

1017
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:03,880
Hey, Daria.

1018
00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:05,450
I'm not getting into that car.

1019
00:55:05,670 --> 00:55:08,000
That's how all this trouble started in the first place.

1020
00:55:08,210 --> 00:55:10,500
Trouble? Is that how you think of our relationship?

1021
00:55:10,710 --> 00:55:12,120
I'm just kidding. What's up?

1022
00:55:12,670 --> 00:55:16,650
Oh, Jake! I think something bad is happening! And she's already had one

1023
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:20,010
disappointment. Oh, no! I was dreading this day!

1024
00:55:20,210 --> 00:55:23,050
Sounds like I should do something! I think I'll go clean the attic!

1025
00:55:23,210 --> 00:55:23,650
Jake!

1026
00:55:26,020 --> 00:55:29,550
Um, I've been thinking a lot about why you said we should break up, and I don't

1027
00:55:29,730 --> 00:55:33,080
disagree. I just wanted to know: you liked me for a while, right?

1028
00:55:33,240 --> 00:55:38,360
Tom, come on. I still like you. You're a good guy. A little spoiled, a hair

1029
00:55:38,500 --> 00:55:40,120
smug, a triffle egotistical...

1030
00:55:40,290 --> 00:55:41,700
This isn't going quite the way I hoped.

1031
00:55:41,820 --> 00:55:45,420
...but a smart, funny guy who's basically very caring and sensitive in the

1032
00:55:45,530 --> 00:55:49,610
not-pukey way. I'm glad we went out. It was a really good experience.

1033
00:55:49,860 --> 00:55:50,360
You mean that?

1034
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:53,010
Yeah, of course. What's the matter with you?

1035
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:57,630
Nothing. It's just... I really look up to you, and your opinion's important to me.

1036
00:55:57,730 --> 00:55:59,430
You look up to me? Huh.

1037
00:55:59,610 --> 00:56:02,850
Do you think next year I could call you from school, and we could compare notes

1038
00:56:02,990 --> 00:56:06,130
on our lives in a completely non-romantic fashion? You know, like friends?

1039
00:56:06,310 --> 00:56:10,830
Hmm, yeah. Yeah! That's a good idea. Call me. That'll be nice.

1040
00:56:11,060 --> 00:56:13,830
OK. I'm starting to feel a little better. How about you?

1041
00:56:16,030 --> 00:56:18,880
I've got one more bed of hot coals to walk through first.

1042
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:25,570
Daria! Hi! How was the last day of school? Do you want to lie down?

1043
00:56:25,750 --> 00:56:27,280
I have an announcement to make.

1044
00:56:27,430 --> 00:56:30,250
Oh, God, Daria! It'll be all right, I promise!

1045
00:56:30,470 --> 00:56:32,610
I have broken up with my boyfriend.

1046
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:36,790
Yes, it hurts, but it was my idea, and despite the pain I feel,

1047
00:56:36,910 --> 00:56:38,960
I remain convinced it is for the best.

1048
00:56:39,140 --> 00:56:41,990
I am looking forward to summer, and, to my amazement,

1049
00:56:42,170 --> 00:56:43,920
excited about college next year.

1050
00:56:44,150 --> 00:56:46,680
Now I shall go to my room without taking questions.

1051
00:56:47,310 --> 00:56:50,780
Ignore any muffled screams you may hear, especially if they're Quinn's.

1052
00:56:51,940 --> 00:56:55,650
She and Tom broke up? Just like that? No clues, no warning signs? I'd better go

1053
00:56:55,770 --> 00:56:59,100
talk to her! This could drive her back to military school! What should I say?

1054
00:56:59,420 --> 00:57:01,740
Damn it, Helen! Where's our copy of Mr. Spock?

1055
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:06,300
Jake, your concern is very sweet, but I think she's going to be okay.

1056
00:57:08,710 --> 00:57:12,510
Just tell me what I did to make you drag me to Jodie's graduation party?

1057
00:57:12,710 --> 00:57:15,850
You need a break from the break-up. One more night with those whose stupidity

1058
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:20,370
has so tormented and entertained us, lo, these many years. A farewell to dopes!

1059
00:57:24,150 --> 00:57:28,730
Andrea, my dark-eyed mistress of sweet, sweet pain. Are you, like me, finding

1060
00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:33,900
this party a bit too... festive? Let us depart for a darker place, where we can

1061
00:57:34,020 --> 00:57:38,770
explore the melancholia that always accompanies true, unbridled passion!

1062
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:40,470
You're hitting on me?

1063
00:57:40,850 --> 00:57:41,290
Um...

1064
00:57:41,970 --> 00:57:42,340
Okay.

1065
00:57:42,720 --> 00:57:47,420
Really?! I mean, say no more, my raven-haired ravisher!

1066
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:51,590
Behold, Daria! The group dynamic you crave so much!

1067
00:57:51,850 --> 00:57:56,000
I suppose pulling out a can of mace right now would be considered bad form.

1068
00:57:56,310 --> 00:57:57,510
Hey, guys. Thanks for coming.

1069
00:57:57,720 --> 00:57:58,470
No Tom tonight?

1070
00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:00,600
Um, no Tom no more.

1071
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:03,140
What? He dumped both of you? I mean...

1072
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:05,740
Au contraire! Tom was the dumpee!

1073
00:58:05,940 --> 00:58:06,350
Wow!

1074
00:58:06,500 --> 00:58:11,360
Yes, I terminated the relationship so I could indulge my compulsive need to play

1075
00:58:11,540 --> 00:58:12,010
the field.

1076
00:58:12,230 --> 00:58:14,920
Hi, Daria! Hi, Jane! Where's Tom?

1077
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:16,730
Um, covert mission.

1078
00:58:16,940 --> 00:58:19,440
Really? I didn't know he was religious.

1079
00:58:19,650 --> 00:58:21,380
Hey, Daria! Where's that guy you know?

1080
00:58:21,610 --> 00:58:22,840
He joined a mission!

1081
00:58:23,110 --> 00:58:24,820
Really? He's going to Mars?

1082
00:58:27,100 --> 00:58:30,540
So, once I paid off my credit card bill, I just quit. My friend was already

1083
00:58:30,690 --> 00:58:34,550
gone, and I mean, who works in the summer? Puh-lease!

1084
00:58:34,710 --> 00:58:36,140
You're so good with money, Quinn!

1085
00:58:36,260 --> 00:58:37,380
Could you balance my checkbook?

1086
00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:38,720
You've got fiscal smarts!

1087
00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:43,540
Well, I see I'm the only one who still believes in arriving fashionably late.

1088
00:58:43,750 --> 00:58:45,560
Sandi! You got your voice back!

1089
00:58:45,740 --> 00:58:47,040
That's great, Sandi!

1090
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:48,950
Yeah... great...

1091
00:58:49,350 --> 00:58:54,400
Stacy, you'll be happy to know I figured how you can almost make it up to me for

1092
00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:56,590
the physical and emotional anguish you caused.

1093
00:58:56,710 --> 00:59:02,370
You have? Oh, Sandi, thank you! Organize your Waif magazine inventory, ironing

1094
00:59:02,510 --> 00:59:05,950
any and all wrinkled pages... take over babysitting your brothers all summer...

1095
00:59:06,100 --> 00:59:07,270
clean your lipstick tubes...

1096
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:10,670
Whoa, Stacy... I pity you.

1097
00:59:10,770 --> 00:59:14,210
Um, Sandi, I'm really, really sorry about what happened and all, but this seems

1098
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:18,920
kind of... unfair. I mean, we don't know if I really made you lose your voice, right?

1099
00:59:19,130 --> 00:59:23,150
Are you saying you don't care if you jeopardize your status in the Fashion Club?

1100
00:59:24,090 --> 00:59:28,140
Sandi, if this is what it'll take to keep me in the Fashion Club, maybe I'm

1101
00:59:28,260 --> 00:59:30,140
better off taking a sabbatical like Quinn.

1102
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:36,510
Um... fine. But you're missing out, because Quinn is coming back. Right, Quinn?

1103
00:59:36,830 --> 00:59:41,030
Um, actually, Sandi, the time off was a nice change of pace. I'm thinking of

1104
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:42,310
extending my sabbatical.

1105
00:59:42,490 --> 00:59:42,990
What?

1106
00:59:43,220 --> 00:59:46,710
Huh. I think I'll take a sabbatical, too.

1107
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:54,910
Well, that is certainly an amusing coincidence, because tonight I was going to

1108
00:59:55,070 --> 00:59:59,200
announce my sabbatical from the Fashion Club. Yes, I find that your precious

1109
00:59:59,390 --> 01:00:03,980
club no longer serves my needs as a multi-faceted young woman of today. It's

1110
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:05,400
just too confining.

1111
01:00:05,750 --> 01:00:08,640
Gosh! Does this mean there isn't any more Fashion Club?

1112
01:00:09,370 --> 01:00:11,090
I guess it's time to move on.

1113
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:12,700
It's like the end of an era.

1114
01:00:13,510 --> 01:00:14,330
I'm gonna miss it.

1115
01:00:14,710 --> 01:00:15,660
Me, too.

1116
01:00:20,110 --> 01:00:24,740
You want to come over tomorrow and discuss what we'll do with all our new free time?

1117
01:00:25,090 --> 01:00:26,670
That's a great idea, Sandi!

1118
01:00:26,820 --> 01:00:28,440
I'll bring some magazines to look at.

1119
01:00:28,620 --> 01:00:31,210
I can't wait to brainstorm.

1120
01:00:31,450 --> 01:00:32,390
Then it's a date.

1121
01:00:35,210 --> 01:00:36,230
He said he looked up to you?

1122
01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:39,160
Isn't that weird? Flattering, but weird.

1123
01:00:39,500 --> 01:00:42,070
Well, I kind of take what you say seriously.

1124
01:00:42,220 --> 01:00:46,160
That's why, after your constant haranguing and brow-beating, I went ahead and

1125
01:00:46,310 --> 01:00:48,710
sent my portfolio to BFAC... and got in.

1126
01:00:49,570 --> 01:00:51,830
Jane Lane! What did you say?

1127
01:00:52,110 --> 01:00:56,470
You. Me. College. Same town. Be ready to have your ass dragged to more parties.

1128
01:00:56,700 --> 01:00:58,310
I knew you could do it. I knew it!

1129
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:00,510
Why the hell didn't you tell me?

1130
01:01:00,770 --> 01:01:04,650
I just found out today. Besides, you know what a drama queen I am. So, what do

1131
01:01:04,740 --> 01:01:07,820
you say? Make a pledge right now to go up there and get separate boyfriends?

1132
01:01:09,500 --> 01:01:10,830
Thanks for talking me into applying.

1133
01:01:11,380 --> 01:01:13,230
Thanks for helping me get through high school.

1134
01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:18,150
Me at BFAC, you at Raft. You think it's true that things happen for a reason?

1135
01:01:19,020 --> 01:01:19,520
Naah!

1136
01:01:21,410 --> 01:01:24,810
... for today we leave the days of our youth behind and begin our journey into

1137
01:01:24,910 --> 01:01:28,480
adulthood. Many years from now, I'm sure we will look back on our days at

1138
01:01:28,590 --> 01:01:33,020
Lawndale High with a great fondness, for what once was, and will never be again.

1139
01:01:33,390 --> 01:01:34,970
That last part sounded good.

1140
01:01:35,220 --> 01:01:35,710
Thank you.

1141
01:01:39,540 --> 01:01:43,580
Thank you, Jodie Landon, valedictorian of the graduating class of Laaawndale

1142
01:01:43,710 --> 01:01:47,140
High. And remember, parents, your child doesn't have to be a current student for

1143
01:01:47,250 --> 01:01:52,140
us to accept your generous donations. And now, people, and now... and now,

1144
01:01:52,260 --> 01:01:56,020
awards time! We'll do the sports and other good prizes after I get these

1145
01:01:56,170 --> 01:02:00,200
academic jobbies is out of the way. Now, as you know, at Lawndale High we prefer

1146
01:02:00,330 --> 01:02:04,150
to reward students for both their scholarship and contribution to student life.

1147
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:08,170
But, occasionally, a student does so well in one area that we are forced to

1148
01:02:08,320 --> 01:02:12,350
recognize him or her despite crippling deficiencies in the other. And so, I give

1149
01:02:12,460 --> 01:02:16,060
you the winner of this year's Lawndale High School Diane Fossey Award for

1150
01:02:16,220 --> 01:02:20,770
dazzling academic achievement in the face of near-total misanthropy...

1151
01:02:21,210 --> 01:02:23,000
Ms. Daria Morgendorffer!

1152
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:26,220
Bravo, bravo!

1153
01:02:26,500 --> 01:02:28,570
Very good, Daria! You go, girlfriend!

1154
01:02:28,860 --> 01:02:30,090
Brav... oh!

1155
01:02:30,290 --> 01:02:34,320
All right, Timothy! This is it! You've gone this far; you can't turn back now!

1156
01:02:34,790 --> 01:02:36,170
Anthony! Where are you going?

1157
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:38,560
Sorry, but that right hook is a killer!

1158
01:02:38,930 --> 01:02:40,950
Now, Janet, I know you're disappointed...

1159
01:02:41,100 --> 01:02:43,560
No, I'm not! I'm intrigued...

1160
01:02:43,670 --> 01:02:48,660
...but as the poet said, time will heal thy wounded heart in... you're what?

1161
01:02:48,860 --> 01:02:52,970
Intrigued by this alluring new backbone of yours. Where have you been hiding

1162
01:02:53,110 --> 01:02:56,200
that erogenous chutzpah all these years, you big lug?

1163
01:02:56,390 --> 01:02:57,850
Oh, well, I...

1164
01:03:08,900 --> 01:03:14,250
Um... thank you. I'm not much for public speaking, or much for speaking, or,

1165
01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:18,570
come to think of it, much for the public. And I'm not very good at lying. So let

1166
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:23,520
me just say that, in my experience, high school sucks. If I had to do it all

1167
01:03:23,620 --> 01:03:27,520
over again, I'd have started advanced placement classes in preschool so I could

1168
01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:29,510
go from eighth grade straight to college.

1169
01:03:30,130 --> 01:03:35,080
However, given the unalterable fact that high school sucks, I'd like to add that

1170
01:03:35,190 --> 01:03:39,120
if you're lucky enough to have a good friend and a family that cares, it doesn't

1171
01:03:39,220 --> 01:03:40,550
have to suck quite as much.

1172
01:03:41,210 --> 01:03:46,210
Otherwise, my advice is: stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless

1173
01:03:46,310 --> 01:03:50,800
logic and experience prove you wrong; remember, when the emperor looks naked,

1174
01:03:50,910 --> 01:03:55,520
the emperor is naked; the truth and a lie are not "sort of the same thing"; and

1175
01:03:55,650 --> 01:04:01,140
there's no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza.

1176
01:04:02,020 --> 01:04:02,630
Thank you.

1177
01:04:13,910 --> 01:04:17,390
So, dazzling academic achievement, eh? What a sellout.

1178
01:04:17,650 --> 01:04:22,190
I know. And then I had the perfect opportunity to beat Ms. Li senseless with my

1179
01:04:22,300 --> 01:04:25,220
trophy, and what do I do? Give a heart-warming speech.

1180
01:04:25,500 --> 01:04:27,640
You're getting soft around the edges, Morgendorffer.

1181
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:30,090
Maybe, or maybe you've got glaucoma.

1182
01:04:31,010 --> 01:04:34,700
To college! I can't wait! What do you think we'll find when we get there?

1183
01:04:34,900 --> 01:04:39,470
Hmm. That the students are shockingly ignorant, the professors self-centered and

1184
01:04:39,580 --> 01:04:43,320
corrupt, and the entire system geared soley to the pursuit of funding?

1185
01:04:43,500 --> 01:04:46,430
Hmmm, yes. You know that thing I said about you getting soft?

1186
01:04:46,660 --> 01:04:47,240
Yeah?

1187
01:04:47,710 --> 01:04:48,600
I take it back.