1 00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,342 Hey, look at that. 2 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,892 Well, I guess we're finally getting some new neighbors. 3 00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:25,191 I tell you if that boy handles a football 4 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,944 half as good as he handles a cardboard box, 5 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,613 Arlen's high got herself a new tight end. 6 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,450 You think the dad's a good bowler? 7 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,285 He looks like a good bowler. 8 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,287 Maybe he needs a... you know, fella to bowl with. 9 00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,623 Notice how he lifts with his legs. 10 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:43,251 I think they're going to fit in just fine. 11 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:44,878 - Howdy, fellas. 12 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,254 What brings you to Arlen? 13 00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:47,255 Well, uh... 14 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:49,758 - This family hired us to move their stuff. 15 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:33,968 {\an8}Well, I'll be darned. 16 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,678 {\an8}They look Japanese. 17 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,972 {\an8}Nope. I think they're Chinese. 18 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,140 {\an8}How can you tell? 19 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:41,476 {\an8}Japanese guys usually have glasses 20 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:44,187 {\an8}and a suit and a tie and stuff like that. 21 00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,105 {\an8}Uh-huh. 22 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,190 {\an8}Well, a neighbor's a neighbor. 23 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,067 {\an8}Let's go over and say hi. 24 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,319 {\an8}You reckon they even speak English? 25 00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:52,779 {\an8}Yeah, man, them Chinese, man 26 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,031 {\an8}you can't understand dang ol' word they say, man. 27 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,242 {\an8}Try to listen... All upside-down whatnot. 28 00:01:58,827 --> 00:01:59,702 {\an8}Hi there. 29 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:00,870 {\an8}I'm Hank Hill. 30 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,498 {\an8}I live next door, which means I'm your neighbor 31 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:04,749 {\an8}and you're my friend. 32 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:09,087 {\an8}I think you'll find we have a great little community here. 33 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:11,047 What do you think of it so far? 34 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,299 I am Kahn Souphanousinphone. 35 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,467 Hmm... 36 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,554 So that's pronounced "Kahn," right? 37 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,222 Nice to meet you. 38 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,018 What the heck are you trying to do? 39 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,857 So, are you Chinese or Japanese? 40 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:32,819 I live in California last 20 years but first come from Laos. 41 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:33,820 Huh? 42 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:34,737 Laos. 43 00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:35,822 We Laotian. 44 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:36,781 The ocean? 45 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:37,991 What ocean? 46 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,200 We are Laotian! 47 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,618 From Laos, stupid! 48 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,912 It's a landlocked country in Southeast Asia. 49 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,831 It's between Vietnam and Thailand, okay? 50 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,041 4.7 million. 51 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,921 So, are you Chinese or Japanese? 52 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:52,964 D-aw... 53 00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,133 This is so very exciting. 54 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:57,051 It's like we get to travel to the orient 55 00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:59,053 without having to worry about diarrhea 56 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,598 or being jailed for our pro-democracy beliefs. 57 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,933 You know, at the Beauty Academy 58 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:07,353 they teach us that people aren't black or white 59 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:11,399 or yellow or red, but their hair can be. 60 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,902 I'm going to invite our new neighbors to dinner. 61 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,362 We can't expect them to break the ice. 62 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:19,073 These people are by nature shy and reserved. 63 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,576 I read somewhere that the Chinese language 64 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:25,038 has 70 words for "Rice," but no word for "Friend." 65 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:28,082 "Howdy, you all..." 66 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:29,709 Howdy, howdy, howdy. 67 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,920 Can you believe this crap? 68 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,380 You want to live in this country, learn to speak English! 69 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,590 I'm not going. 70 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:36,758 But you promised. 71 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,551 - Why go? I could stay home 72 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,720 order a bucket of chicken and watch hee haw. 73 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,763 Same thing. 74 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:42,764 Kahn, please. 75 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,766 For once, try not to piss off neighbor. 76 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:46,476 We kicked out of Laos. 77 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,061 We kicked out of Anaheim. 78 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,687 I'm tired of running. 79 00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,025 - Hello, Kahn. 80 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:55,902 Hank. 81 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:59,614 Oh, darn it... Darn... You have darn fine house. 82 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,867 Lead-free since 1988. 83 00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:05,787 This is my wife, Minh, and daughter Kahn Jr. 84 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,414 - And this is Peggy Hill. 85 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:10,416 On behalf of Arlen, Texas, 86 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,211 I would like to welcome you to our country. 87 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,505 Now, please make yourselves at home 88 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,839 and take off your shoes. 89 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:17,882 Why? 90 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,384 You just shampoo carpet? 91 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,762 Come on, Bobby, Have some seconds. 92 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,681 The girl's lapping you. 93 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:27,225 I've never had beef chop suey before. 94 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,184 Really? 95 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,560 Oh, you poor dear. 96 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:32,647 You know, I read somewhere that in certain parts of China 97 00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,775 meat is as scarce as toilet paper. 98 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,443 Oh, where you read that? 99 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:38,653 Who can remember? 100 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:39,779 As a substitute teacher, 101 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:42,490 I have to review all sorts of learning materials. 102 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,242 Maybe it was on a placemat. 103 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:45,785 So you're a teacher. 104 00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:49,455 Ah, maybe you can tell me why Arlen test scores are so low. 105 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,332 I know why. 106 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,001 It's because Kahn Jr. not there 107 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,502 to bring up average. 108 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,254 You know, my boy here might not be 109 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,131 the best test-taker 110 00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,591 - but he's got near-perfect attendance. 111 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,218 - Tell them, Bobby. 112 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,262 - I hope you all saved some room... 113 00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,264 ...for my famous apple brown betty. 114 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,058 The recipe is a closely guarded family secret. 115 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:13,521 Passed on from my mother's mother to my mother, to me, and someday 116 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:14,731 I will give it to my Bobby. 117 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:18,693 - Well, at least the brown betty was good. 118 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,403 You must give me recipe. 119 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,822 Oh, Minh, you know I can't do that. 120 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,700 But what I can do is offer you some leftovers. 121 00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,952 Here. Now, just reheat this for ten minutes... 122 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,872 I have already said way too much. 123 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,499 Well, y'all come back now, you hear? 124 00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:36,210 That's Texan for Sayonara. 125 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:37,462 Oh, my! 126 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:39,672 Peggy Hill, what big feet you have! 127 00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:40,882 Like boat! 128 00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:43,760 Well, that's just the way God made me. 129 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:48,681 Hey, look at me. 130 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:51,142 I'm like little girl in mama's shoes. 131 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,394 Okay, bye-bye now, bye-bye. 132 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:57,482 Now, honey, she didn't mean anything by it. 133 00:05:57,482 --> 00:06:01,069 You do not come into a woman's home and insult her feet. 134 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,028 You just don't. 135 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,488 Aw, come on, Peg. 136 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:06,449 Remember when you first moved here from Montana? 137 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,993 You called pop "Sodee-pop" 138 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:12,330 and you thought 93 in the shade was hot. 139 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,916 Our new neighbors are just like you. 140 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,876 All they need is a little bit of time. 141 00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:19,045 And Hank Hill to watch out for them. 142 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,589 Well, do you think my feet are too big? 143 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:22,590 Naw. 144 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,509 There's just more of you to love. 145 00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:26,594 Ow. 146 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,637 Uh... Sorry. 147 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,105 Be careful, Bobby. 148 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,190 That's one of them Chinese fighting dogs. 149 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,109 No, it's a West Highland terrier. 150 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:42,318 Yeah, that's it. 151 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,778 So what's his name? 152 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:44,946 Doggie. 153 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,823 Yes, Kahn Jr., he's a doggie. 154 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,366 Can you tell me his name? 155 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,575 He's called Doggie. 156 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,494 And that's called a doggie, too. 157 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,371 But her name is Lady Bird. 158 00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:56,040 She's a purebred Georgia bloodhound. 159 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,418 Her mama tracked down James Earl Ray. 160 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,503 Whoo! 161 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,754 Aren't kids great? 162 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,466 They're too young to know about fear or prejudice. 163 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,594 They won't have to learn that till high school. 164 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:11,806 Yep, there's a real lesson here for all of us. 165 00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,099 Move, please. 166 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,475 You're standing on my hose. 167 00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:21,315 Dad, look! 168 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,443 Ladybird and Doggie like each other. 169 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,735 Of course, they do, son. 170 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:25,695 They're neighbors. 171 00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:29,532 You know, Kahn, I just found a breeding partner for my Lady Bird. 172 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,659 If you're interested in having a real American dog, 173 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,161 - I can give... 174 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,245 What the hell...! 175 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:37,415 - Get him off! Get him off of her! 176 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,625 - Your Lady Bird, she real slut. 177 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,627 Lady Bird is not a slut. 178 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,129 She is in heat. 179 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:46,757 Her hormones have overwhelmed her natural modesty. 180 00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:51,304 For Pete's sake, would you tie up your dog? 181 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,430 You tie your dog. 182 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:53,639 She seduce my Doggie. 183 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:54,599 That's ridiculous. 184 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:58,436 Lady Bird can only love another purebred Georgia bloodhound. 185 00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,354 You know what I think, Hank Hill? 186 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,440 I think you're a narrow-minded redneck! 187 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,734 Oh, I get it, just because I'm from Texas 188 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,569 I got to be a redneck. 189 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,363 - Chinese and their stupid stereotypes. 190 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,865 Get off my property! 191 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,536 Sorry, Lady Bird. 192 00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:19,707 I know you didn't mean to, uh... have relations with that dog 193 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,292 but I got to tie you up anyway. 194 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:24,212 If only to protect your virtue and good name. 195 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:32,303 Mm-hm. Oh, man. 196 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,806 Well, hey, look at that. 197 00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:39,393 Maybe Kahn will let you borrow his sexy little import. 198 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,146 I'd cut my entire quarter acre with the lady bic 199 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,398 before I'd borrow that man's mower. 200 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,900 I just don't like him. 201 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,527 Why? 'Cause he's Chinese? 202 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:48,569 No. 203 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:49,570 So, he's Korean? 204 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,739 - What the hell's the difference? 205 00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:52,990 I don't like the man. 206 00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,825 That has nothing to do with where he's from. 207 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,536 I'm no redneck. 208 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,913 He could be from Mars for all I care. 209 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,499 Believe me, Hank, if Kahn were from Mars, 210 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:02,708 you'd care. 211 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,168 Especially after he's stolen 212 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,754 every last drop of Earth's drinkable water 213 00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:09,090 to transport back to his home planet. 214 00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:11,592 Mars. 215 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:15,221 Come on. Stop dawdling, Luanne. We have got to pick up that pizza 216 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,473 before the cheese gets cold and the pineapple gets hot. 217 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,849 - What's the rush? 218 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,269 If we're not there in 30 minutes, it's free. 219 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,273 Peggy Hill! Peggy Hill! 220 00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:27,024 Wait Aunt Peggy, it's Minh. 221 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,025 - Mm-hmm. - Stop! 222 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,611 Oh, why, Minh, 223 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,822 I almost did not see you there. 224 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,282 Peggy Hill... 225 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:37,034 I feel deeply, deeply sorry about dinner. 226 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,619 We get off to bad start. 227 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,038 I say things I should only have thought. 228 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,749 Oh, Minh, thank you. 229 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:47,211 It must have taken a lot of courage to apologize like that. 230 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:50,172 And I know, I was once the new girl in town myself. 231 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:53,509 Me, Kahn, Kahn Jr. have a barbecue tomorrow. 232 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,678 It mean so much if you come. 233 00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:56,679 Well, thank you, Minh. 234 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,389 We would be honored to come. 235 00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:00,683 And if you need any help with the barbecue 236 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:03,352 or if you just want to know what a barbecue is 237 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,520 you give me a call. 238 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:07,982 Uh-uh, Peggy. 239 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,900 I can't go. I won't. 240 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:12,236 Not after what he said about Lady Bird. 241 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,946 Oh, Hank, come on. 242 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,823 Now, Minh and I just made up. 243 00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:16,907 We have to go. 244 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,159 And if you stay home, 245 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,827 people will think you don't like Kahn 246 00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:21,370 just because he's oriental. 247 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,622 That is ridiculous. 248 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:25,458 I hate the man because he's rude and nasty, 249 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:29,211 not because of what his people did to us in WWII. 250 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,505 Well, Hank, I know that, but everyone else... 251 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,507 They'll say, "Hank Hill is a racist." 252 00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,926 What the heck kind of country is this? 253 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,179 Where I can only hate a man if he's white? 254 00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,431 Hank Hill, you will go to that party 255 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:41,891 you will pretend to like Kahn 256 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,185 and you will drink until you actually do. 257 00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:49,106 Go on. 258 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,524 - Uh... 259 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,318 Uh, howdy, Kahn. 260 00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:53,986 Howdy, howdy, howdy. 261 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,237 Here you go. 262 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,739 I thought you might enjoy 263 00:10:56,739 --> 00:11:00,493 7.5 gallons of pure premium propane. 264 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,619 Are you kidding? 265 00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,537 No, I cook with mesquite. 266 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,581 Give meat nice taste of wood. 267 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,083 - And I cook with propane. 268 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,168 Gives meat nice taste of meat. 269 00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,169 Hank Hill... 270 00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:11,087 Hey, whatever. 271 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:14,006 Some cultures like mesquite, some prefer propane. 272 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:15,966 Doesn't mean we can't all get along. 273 00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:18,552 Just because I happen to sell propane 274 00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,137 and propane accessories... 275 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,431 All right, go stick tank on a table. 276 00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:24,058 Keep napkins from blowing away. 277 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,227 Kahn Souphanousinphone... 278 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,728 - Ah, okay. 279 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,439 You honor me by giving me gas. 280 00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:32,608 - Doggie's just like me. 281 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,944 He's new in town and he's only got one friend. 282 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,153 Yeah. 283 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:38,114 But at least you're not tied up. 284 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,616 If I were, I'd just dislocate my shoulders 285 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:41,951 and slip out of the knot 286 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,703 I'd chew through the leash. 287 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,330 I bet it tastes just like a bible cover. 288 00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,958 Hey, let's untie him. 289 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,167 They belong together. 290 00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:52,837 And it's fun to watch them play piggyback. 291 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:54,588 There you go, boy. 292 00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,298 Go play with Lady Bird. 293 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,175 Be with your true love. 294 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:03,806 Wait! 295 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,099 Come back! 296 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,475 You're in love! 297 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,893 Doggie! Doggie, no, no! 298 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:08,894 Come back! 299 00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:16,110 Oh, look, it's Peggy Hill, my new best friend! 300 00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,947 She's so pretty in her little yellow sundress. 301 00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:22,700 Oh, Minh, you are so sweet 302 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,161 I could just mix you up in some Jell-O 303 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,412 and eat you for dessert. 304 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,706 Oh, Peggy Hill, look at husbands. 305 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:31,208 Too bad men don't get along like we do. 306 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,626 We get along. 307 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,003 - Men stupid. 308 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,171 Women smart. 309 00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:37,298 Mm-hmm, the whole world over. 310 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,883 Heh-heh-heh. Peggy Hill. 311 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,427 Look what I make, Peggy Hill brown betty. 312 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,179 Oh... But that's impossible. 313 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,555 I never gave you the... 314 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,933 Where'd you get my granny's recipe? 315 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,811 I figure it out myself, and then make it better. 316 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,355 Her recipe missing one thing, flavor. 317 00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:54,523 I beg your "P"? 318 00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:56,317 I add flavor, nutmeg flavor. 319 00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:58,569 Now taste much better, don't you think, Peggy Hill? 320 00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:00,905 Please to try Peggy brown betty. 321 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,615 Would you like a Peggy brown betty? 322 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,200 It's tasty. Delicious. 323 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,618 Why, Peggy, to be honest 324 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,287 I have always had trouble keeping your brown betty down 325 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,538 but this here is pure heaven. 326 00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,418 Those burgers look pretty done to me. 327 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,503 Not yet. 328 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,671 You might want to turn them now. 329 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:18,672 Too soon. 330 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:19,632 Okay. 331 00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:22,843 Uh... 332 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,475 You might want to turn them now. 333 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,018 No. Please go away. 334 00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,978 Please, Kahn, you're burning them. 335 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,188 That's too much char. 336 00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,773 Shut mouth and open mouth. 337 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,443 Mmm. 338 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,737 Boy, howdy. 339 00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:44,990 That is the best damn burger I ever ate. 340 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:47,993 Stop. Stop pushing. 341 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:49,829 There's enough for everyone... 342 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,580 If three of you go home right now. 343 00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:52,998 Ha-ha-ha-ha! Joke! 344 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:54,834 - Doggie? 345 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,627 Doggie? 346 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,170 Kahn Jr.? 347 00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,213 Yeah? 348 00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:01,465 Why are you named Kahn Jr.? 349 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,175 My father wanted a boy. 350 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:04,635 Yeah, so did mine. 351 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,220 My dad is so lame. 352 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,681 He makes me practice violin five hours a day. 353 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:12,226 My dad won't let me watch TV more than five hours a day. 354 00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:16,230 Well, my dad's making me memorize 2,000 words for the S.A.T. 355 00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,940 He's such an autocrat. 356 00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:20,818 What's a S.A.T.? 357 00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:23,320 I'll tell you, Peggy. 358 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,990 There's nothing these people can't make better. 359 00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:29,118 First the automobile, then the color TV 360 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,870 and now the hamburger. 361 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,288 How do they do it? 362 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,789 With a dash of nutmeg, Hank. 363 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,708 A dash of nutmeg. 364 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,709 Oh, Peggy Hill... 365 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,586 Your husband like burger so much 366 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,879 I give you recipe. 367 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,338 Now you can please him. 368 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:44,967 I don't care what country he's from. 369 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:47,052 Any man who can make a burger like that 370 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:48,304 is okay by me. 371 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:50,848 You said it. 372 00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,183 Boy, it was so good, it's almost a shame 373 00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,936 to lose it to the process of digestion. 374 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,187 Yeah, man, I'll tell you what. 375 00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:58,731 That dang old onion soup powder 376 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,316 you just put a little bit of that 377 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,151 you don't need no grilled onions, man. 378 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,737 How about you, Dale? How many you got under your belt? 379 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:05,654 Zero. 380 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,197 Huh? How come. 381 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:09,700 Don't eat dog. 382 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,285 Huh? 383 00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:19,710 - Okay, here are the facts as I see 'em. 384 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,545 Kahn served you dog. 385 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,881 - Kahn did not serve us dog. 386 00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:26,258 That's just an awful stereotype. 387 00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,469 Chinese people don't really do that. 388 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,511 Well, I don't know. 389 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,640 Anyone crazy enough to put nutmeg in brown betty. 390 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,767 Well, they'd be crazy enough to do anything. 391 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,811 I... Hey, even if they did feed us dog 392 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:38,979 you know, who are we, huh? 393 00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:40,981 Who are we to judge other cultures? 394 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,775 You know, maybe they're onto something. 395 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,028 They did invent paper, you know. 396 00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,321 Quit talking like that. 397 00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:48,948 Dog is man's best friend. 398 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,783 You wouldn't eat your best friend, would you? 399 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,159 'Course not. 400 00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:54,954 Wait. Are we talking about some lifeboat situation here? 401 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,039 'Cause I don't want to paint myself into a corner. 402 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:59,291 Look, I can settle this right now. 403 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,293 - That woman gave us a recipe. 404 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:03,921 See? Right here, it says, "chopped meat" 405 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,089 not chopped dog. 406 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,632 Dog is meat. 407 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,009 Mmm. You said it, friend. 408 00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,012 Oh. I... I was trying to get 409 00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:14,682 that awful taste off my fingers. 410 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,739 Doggie? Doggie? 411 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,658 Hello? Dog pound? 412 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:33,909 Yes, hello? 413 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,036 I'm looking for dog. 414 00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:38,247 Sweet, sweet dog. 415 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,208 - Have big barbecue today, and dog run out. 416 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:43,168 Oh, about 20, 25 pound. 417 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,129 Good lord, it's true! 418 00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:46,755 Oh, I call you back. 419 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,132 Hank Hill! 420 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,633 What a nice surprise. 421 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:50,968 Hey, Kahn, come quick. 422 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,761 Your best friend is here. 423 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:53,679 O-oh, no. 424 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,097 Uh, uh, that's okay. 425 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,682 What you doing here? 426 00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:59,059 - Uh... 427 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:02,146 I can't hear you over my weed whacker! 428 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,565 Hey, where you going, Hank Hill? Stop! 429 00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:05,858 I can't hear you. 430 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,151 My chrysanthemum! 431 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,360 What you doing? 432 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,195 Ah! You ruin my yard! 433 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,822 You crazy redneck! 434 00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:17,244 We're never going to find Doggie. 435 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:18,537 I know. 436 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,164 Want to ride bikes? 437 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:21,915 Hey... 438 00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:24,293 Lady Bird's a bloodhound. 439 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,003 Maybe she can find Doggie. 440 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,046 Yeah! 441 00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:29,089 - Come on, Lady Bird. 442 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,382 Lead us to Doggie. 443 00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:38,932 Ah. 444 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,566 My God, Dale, you were right. 445 00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:48,942 - Their dog is gone. 446 00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:49,902 All gone. 447 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,070 I caught Minh on the phone 448 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,113 with some kind of doggie butcher. 449 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:54,698 She was placing an order. 450 00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:56,700 This is very dangerous. 451 00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,118 They know that you know. 452 00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,037 And now, they got to come after you. 453 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,371 - They do? - Yup. 454 00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:03,082 They'll get you with a blow dart. 455 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,249 That's their way. 456 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,085 But you'll just think it's a mosquito bite 457 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,252 until you die. 458 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,587 Then you'll know the truth. 459 00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,297 Why? Why would they shoot people? 460 00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:12,341 Human meat's tough, flavorless. 461 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,968 They should be out hunting for more dog. 462 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:19,723 Good gad! 463 00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:22,142 - He's got Lady Bird! 464 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,438 It's still wet. 465 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,856 Maybe there's time. 466 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,317 Come on, guys. We got to save Lady Bird. 467 00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,781 D'ah! I've been hit! 468 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,534 Quick, somebody suck out the poison! 469 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,635 - Oh, no! 470 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:57,636 Lady Bird! 471 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,808 Whoa... That psycho redneck is back. 472 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,226 - Why he so mad? 473 00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:05,769 We do something wrong? 474 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,896 You're the one who insulted his propane. 475 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,314 You're the one who made fun 476 00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:10,732 of Peggy Hill's monster feet. 477 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,359 - Open up, Kahn! 478 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:13,485 Open up now! 479 00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:14,528 Get my bat. 480 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,113 I know you're in there! 481 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:17,364 Go away! 482 00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:18,657 I do nothing wrong. 483 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,325 Look, Kahn, I understand 484 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:22,077 that life is valued differently 485 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,871 - in your part of the world 486 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:26,832 Largely as a result of overcrowding and famine 487 00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:28,876 but you're in my country now. 488 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,460 You a crazy man! 489 00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:31,712 I call the police. 490 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,463 If anyone's calling the police 491 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:34,590 it's going to be me. 492 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,842 Please, what you want from me? 493 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:38,969 I want my Lady Bird. 494 00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:40,345 You understand me? 495 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,222 Give me my dog back or else. 496 00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,933 Oh-ho-ho... Tough guy. 497 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,018 I so scared. 498 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,603 You want a piece of this? 499 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:48,604 Dad, no! 500 00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:49,563 It's all our fault. 501 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:50,814 We lost the dogs. 502 00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:52,399 They wanted to play with each other 503 00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:54,026 so we untied them, and they ran away 504 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,777 and now, we can't find them. 505 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,904 - You what? 506 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:58,155 You mean you... 507 00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,615 The, the dogs... 508 00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:01,158 They're still alive? 509 00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,492 What you think happen? 510 00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,912 Well, I... Uh... Nothing. 511 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,121 We're sorry, dad. 512 00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:07,748 We looked everywhere. 513 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:09,333 We really did. 514 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,668 Bobby, you really screwed up this time. 515 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:14,379 Kahn Jr., you fall in with a bad crowd. 516 00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,173 You made me fight with my neighbor. 517 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,008 You made the neighbor man crazy. 518 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,509 - Go to your room! - Go your room! 519 00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,971 Wha...? You say, "Go to your room"? 520 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,807 Huh. I say, "Go your room." 521 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,100 You spank? 522 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,101 No, sir. 523 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:29,269 Don't believe in it. 524 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,437 No, me neither. 525 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:31,647 I think it barbaric. 526 00:20:32,105 --> 00:20:33,899 - How about bed without dessert? 527 00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,067 Never fail. 528 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,986 Huh. Wouldn't figure a child could be motivated 529 00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:40,781 by a fortune cookie and an orange slice. 530 00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:43,533 Oh, the cookie may be small 531 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,702 but it contain great wisdom. 532 00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:48,038 And orange is sweet and juicy. 533 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:50,874 You know, Kahn, we may deny our kids 534 00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:53,001 completely different desserts. 535 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:57,297 But they both go to bed hungry, and that's what really matters. 536 00:20:57,381 --> 00:21:01,677 Well... Guess we're not so different after all. 537 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:03,679 Boy howdy. 538 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:08,267 Lady Bird! 539 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,476 Doggie! 540 00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:12,479 Doggie's home! 541 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:14,940 Welcome to the neighborhood, 542 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:19,236 Kahn... Sou-pha-nou-sin-phone. 543 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:20,529 Just call me Kahn. 544 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,572 I don't got all damn day. 545 00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:27,119 I'm running out of time! 546 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,414 Give me the antidote, man! 547 00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:44,594 {\an8}This is my granny's five-alarm jambalaya. 548 00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:49,683 {\an8}Mmm. You want less hot, more spicy. 549 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,268 {\an8}- Add nutmeg. 550 00:21:51,476 --> 00:21:52,811 {\an8}- Less hot, more spicy. 551 00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:54,062 {\an8}Add nutmeg, of course. 552 00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,857 {\an8}Okay. Aunt Lavern's chicken fried chicken. 553 00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:59,443 Mmm. Too much Mrs. Dash. 554 00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:00,944 {\an8}Add nutmeg. 555 00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:05,282 {\an8}- And this here is my very own rabbit stew. 556 00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:08,118 {\an8}Ugh! Rabbit? 557 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,953 {\an8}You rednecks will eat anything.