1
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,785
{\an8}This grout is supposed to stay white
2
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,704
{\an8}- for 20 years.
3
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,622
{\an8}What's it been? 17, 18?
4
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:41,499
{\an8}Peggy, where's that receipt?
5
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:42,834
- Uncle Hank!
6
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,628
- Don't you know not to barge in here
7
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,213
{\an8}when I'm in the shower?
8
00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:48,840
{\an8}For goodness' sakes, Hank.
9
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,008
{\an8}You are fully clothed.
10
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,969
{\an8}This time.
Next time, I might not be so lucky.
11
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,929
{\an8}- Just look at Lady Bird.
12
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,473
{\an8}Aw, Lady Bird.
13
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:59,517
{\an8}Didn't Luanne make you
look pretty, pretty dog?
14
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:00,894
{\an8}- Who's a pretty dog?
15
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,479
{\an8}Get that stuff off of her.
16
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,314
{\an8}She looks like Fran Drescher.
17
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,732
{\an8}I didn't put it on.
18
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,735
{\an8}Your dog ate all my cruelty-free makeups.
19
00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:10,278
{\an8}Okay, honey, calm down.
20
00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:11,529
{\an8}If she tries it again
21
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:14,491
{\an8}just tap her on the fanny
with a rolled-up newspaper.
22
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:17,494
{\an8}I spent extra money to buy cruelty-free.
23
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:19,704
{\an8}I'll do a lot more than tap her.
24
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:23,917
I found a spark plug.
25
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,168
Great!
26
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:27,170
Now all we need are five more of those
27
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:30,173
an engine, four wheels, some kind of frame
28
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,633
and a cassette radio
29
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,468
and we've got our death cart!
30
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:34,803
- Hey...
31
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,763
Look what I found.
32
00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:41,392
A Manitoba 100.
33
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:47,524
The official cigarette
of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
34
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,025
Wow!
35
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:51,027
I never had one of those.
36
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,822
You ever had any cigarette?
37
00:01:53,988 --> 00:01:56,491
Well... No. How about you?
38
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:59,160
- Only secondhand from my dad.
39
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,830
You want to spark it?
40
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:04,916
Now, now, now!
41
00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:12,757
- Mmm...
42
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:13,883
Mmm...
43
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,804
Quick! Pull the knob.
44
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:20,974
Is someone in there?
45
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,226
Is this john occupied?
46
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:26,938
Es esta juan occupado?
47
00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:28,273
Si.
48
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:29,774
- Bobby, is that you?
49
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,155
Well, do you wantto lose a lung?
50
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,740
Because if you do, I am sure there's
another little boy out there
51
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,075
who would take it in a second.
52
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,535
Didn't you read this?
53
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,580
"Cancer, heart disease, emphysema."
54
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,999
Well, I thought those were
the ingredients.
55
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,459
Hey, do not be a smart-mouth.
56
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,254
Now, I gave up smoking
so you could be free of birth defects
57
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,047
and this is how you repay me?
58
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,842
Yeah, you don't know
how hard it is to quit.
59
00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:58,386
Your mother and I went through hell
trying to...
60
00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:01,556
Hey, don't recline on mine
while I'm talking to you.
61
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:04,809
Bobby, smoking is a nasty, filthy,
filthy habit
62
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:07,061
and only trailer trash smoke nowadays.
63
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,063
Now, do you want to look like
trailer trash?
64
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,399
That's not fair! I don't smoke!
65
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,610
Lua... Ah!
66
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,320
Lord, Hank, you finish this.
67
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,447
Oh, honey, you are not trash.
68
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,115
Just 'cause you grew up in a trailer
69
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,366
and your mama's in prison.
70
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,035
All right, Joe Camel,
71
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,995
you want to smoke, let's go smoke.
72
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,497
Now look here.
73
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:27,874
- You are going to smoke...
74
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,250
...this entire carton.
75
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,713
- I thought you said
76
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,673
you didn't want me to smoke anymore.
77
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:38,468
Oh, this will take care of
that, believe me.
78
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,095
I wish my daddy had the parenting skills
79
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,139
to do this for me, I tell you what.
80
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,434
- Start puffin', boy.
81
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,853
We got to get through 200 of these.
82
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,939
Joseph, I understand you smoked
83
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,857
your first cigarette today.
84
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,275
I'm sorry, dad.
85
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,902
I'll never smoke again.
86
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,737
Whoa, hold on, son.
87
00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,656
I want you to keep an open mind
88
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,824
- so you can make an informed decision.
89
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,243
If you want, you can read
90
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,370
a bloated government report on smoking
91
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:07,413
or go straight to the horse's mouth
92
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:08,331
and get the facts
93
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,041
from the tobacco industry.
94
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,427
For God's sakes, Bobby,
95
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,346
what nationality are you?
96
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,472
American.
97
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:26,975
Then why are you holding your cigarette
98
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,061
like some kind
of European Nazi in a movie?
99
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:31,479
Why's it matter?
100
00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:33,064
That's not the right sort
101
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,691
of attitude for you to have.
102
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:37,360
Whatever you do, you should do right
103
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,320
even if it's something wrong.
104
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,238
Okay.
105
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,534
No, no, no. I said American.
106
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:45,743
Here, let me show you.
107
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,801
That is not how to inhale, Bobby.
108
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,094
You're hot-boxing it.
109
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:05,221
You got to inhale slow.
110
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,230
You see?
111
00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:17,150
Slow, like that.
112
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,985
Okay.
113
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,404
Wait a minute.
Let me show you one more time.
114
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,574
No two ways about it
115
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:27,327
smoking is a filthy, disgusting habit.
116
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,332
- How come you smoked?
117
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:35,084
Well, it wasn't as bad for you back then.
118
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,129
- Wow!
119
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,839
Pretty keen, huh?
120
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,467
The trick is to get your thumb
under the filter.
121
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,552
But of course, smoking is wrong,
122
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,929
so uh, you'll have to
try this with a dowel
123
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,015
- Or something.
124
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,229
Come on, only one pack left.
125
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,023
I think I'm going to barf.
126
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,192
- That's what I wanted to hear.
127
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,651
Good job, son.
128
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,701
Uh... When you're finished,
129
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:11,120
you want to get that with a hose?
130
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:13,456
You see, raising a boy
131
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,333
- is like fixing a radiator.
132
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,502
You don't talk it into working right.
133
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,128
- You have to take it out back
134
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,296
and flush it clean.
135
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,256
Huh...
136
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:38,231
What's wrong, Hank?
137
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,941
Why are you always asking me that?
138
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,568
What's wrong with you?
How does that sound for a change?
139
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,362
I just asked once.
140
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,323
Oh, is it about Bobby
and that cigarette today?
141
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:48,825
No, I took care of that.
142
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:51,327
I made him smoke a whole carton
143
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,871
until he was as sick
as he's ever been in his life.
144
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:55,039
Hank Hill!
145
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,125
What on God's earth were you thinking?
146
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,793
He is just a little boy.
147
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:01,254
You stunt his growth,
he will stay that way.
148
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,755
Peggy, it's late.
149
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:03,714
I'm tired.
150
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,216
Let's just go to sleep.
151
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,093
Okay.
152
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:11,055
Uh, I got to go do some stuff.
153
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:14,225
- I think I might have left the blender on.
154
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,359
Hmm.
155
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:09,071
Hmm.
156
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,328
Mm-hm.
157
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:23,044
- Hey, there, Enrique.
158
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,921
Uh, sorry, Mr. Hill.
159
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:26,923
I know I'm not supposed to be smoking.
160
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,799
Aw, hell, what's a rule for
161
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,801
if you can't break i once in a while?
162
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:35,723
And times got hard
163
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,934
after NAFTA sent the pinata jobs north.
164
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,228
That's quite a story, Enrique.
165
00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:41,771
I like stories.
166
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:44,982
I like stories about pinatas.
167
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,985
In fact, I like everything
you have to say.
168
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:51,072
Let's me and you
visit your hometown sometime
169
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,449
the way you had the courtesy
to come see mine.
170
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:55,618
I'd be honored for you to meet my family.
171
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:58,287
- And I'd be honored for you to meet my...
172
00:08:58,454 --> 00:09:00,039
Oh, no, my wife!
173
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:01,415
Hey, Hank.
174
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,417
Honey, can you take a lunch break?
175
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:04,794
Uh, sure.
176
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:11,259
Huh!
177
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,927
Oh, dios mio! Ooh.
178
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,232
Ha-ha!
179
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,734
How do you like that, hmm?
180
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:31,571
Is your heart racing?
181
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,364
Are you upset?
182
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:37,243
Now you know how I feel
when you eat my makeups.
183
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:38,911
Oh, for heaven's sake.
184
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,330
That flesh-eating virus
has claimed another victim.
185
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,165
Well, don't let it worry you, Peggy.
186
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:46,294
Sometimes you just got
to relax and enjoy life
187
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:48,963
- for all its rich, mellow flavor.
188
00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:51,007
Hank, what are you doing?
189
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,551
Uh, oh, uh, oh, uh...
190
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:57,179
Well, Bobby vomited with one pack to go.
191
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:58,639
I couldn't throw them out.
192
00:09:58,723 --> 00:09:59,890
That would be wasteful.
193
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,059
But we haven't smoked for 12 years.
194
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:04,061
I know, but, well...
195
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,897
Hey, doesn't the smell take you back?
196
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:11,902
- Hmm.
197
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,738
-♪ What do you get ♪
- Woo-hoo!
198
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:16,032
-♪ When you fall in love? ♪
199
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:19,660
-♪ A guy with a pin to burst your bubble ♪
200
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,997
♪ That's what you get
For all your trouble ♪
201
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:29,587
-♪ I'll never fall in love again ♪
202
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:30,963
Hey, wait a minute.
203
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,799
-♪ I'll never fall in love again... ♪
204
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,052
Oh, Hank...
205
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,605
Oh, that feels like, what, 100 years ago?
206
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,982
- It doesn't have to.
207
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,485
Mm, mm.
208
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:58,032
Mmm.
209
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:01,285
♪ What do you get when you kiss a guy... ♪
210
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,413
Ah. Shouldn't we be getting home?
211
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,706
Mmm, no, Hank.
212
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,042
Let's just stay a moment longer.
213
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:10,252
♪ I'll never fall in love again. ♪
214
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,962
- Ooh! Oh, boy!
215
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,006
Ooh, boy!
216
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:17,134
Oh, I feel so alive with pleasure!
217
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,936
- Fine day, isn't it, boy?
218
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,229
- Uh, Hank.
219
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:32,608
There is a tile in the bathroom
that I think we missed.
220
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:33,818
Really?
221
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,861
Well, I better check that out.
222
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:40,991
Heh-heh-heh.
223
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,454
Well, I found the tile,
224
00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:47,081
thank you very much, Peggy,
225
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,332
and I looked at it
226
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:51,961
but there's still some more tile
for you to look at.
227
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,839
You know, I think I will save
the rest of my tile
228
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,298
for after breakfast.
229
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:59,218
Will you stop talking
about your stupid tile!
230
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,178
If it's so dirty, go clean it
231
00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:03,389
and if it's clean, you can shut up!
232
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,560
Hey, I've got an idea.
233
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,603
Let's go eat at that place
234
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,564
we used to go when we smoked
235
00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:13,858
with the jazz combo.
236
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:14,775
Smokey's?
237
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,152
Yeah, that's the one.
238
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,540
- Yup.
239
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,125
- Yep.
240
00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:40,885
Mmm...
241
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:41,844
Hmm!
242
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:44,388
Hey, man, y'all put
that dang ol' thing out, man.
243
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,182
Y'all go lightin' up like that, man,
244
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,726
like a dang ol' junkie, man,
go messin' up my head
245
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:51,520
with that dang ol' secondary
nicotine like that, man.
246
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,315
Aw, Hank, I thought you gave that up.
247
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:56,859
Welcome back, friend!
248
00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:59,111
I knew this day would come!
249
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,696
Dale, get off of me.
250
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,452
Yep. Same old Smokey's.
251
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,746
Place hasn't changed a bit.
252
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:09,997
Now, where is old Smokey?
253
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,165
We would love to say hi.
254
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,751
Oh, Smokey's no longer with us.
255
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,628
Oh, I'm so sorry.
256
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,254
Well, it's for the best, darlin'.
257
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:20,299
Those last few years
when it spread to his bones...
258
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,676
Smoking or non-smoking?
259
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,470
Uh... Smoking.
260
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,043
What's going on in here?
261
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:57,670
Bobby, what are you doing
with the cigarette?
262
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,380
You are going to burn this house down.
263
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,464
Hey, all right!
264
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,132
You guys smoke, too?
265
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,926
What we do is none of your business.
266
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,011
I told you not to smoke.
267
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:07,972
Do I have to take you out back
268
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,974
with another carton of cigarettes?
269
00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:11,809
I think you do.
270
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,687
I cannot believe that you're all smoking!
271
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,398
Don't you know
that more people die of smoking
272
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:21,944
than die of...
war in... Vietnam every day?
273
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,405
I'm begging you, put out your cigarettes
274
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,031
and keep them out!
275
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,324
She's right, Hank.
276
00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:29,869
How can we expect Bobby to quit
277
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,078
when we won't?
278
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:32,538
We're the adults.
279
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:33,747
We have to set an example.
280
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,458
- Hey, that's my rug!
281
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,962
No one said it was
going to be easy, son.
282
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:47,136
{\an8}Future non-smokers.
283
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:48,470
Take a look to your left.
284
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,432
Now take a look to your right.
285
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:52,808
Who do you see?
286
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:53,893
Don't be shy.
287
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,936
There are no wrong answers here.
288
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,479
I see a caring human being?
289
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,564
No.
290
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:02,026
You see your "Buddies for a better life."
291
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,069
I've got the strangest feeling
292
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,821
someone's going to kick his ass.
293
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:06,989
Oh, come on, Hank.
294
00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:08,616
Will you just give it a chance?
295
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,952
Yes, buddy, give it a chance.
296
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:12,995
Bill?
297
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,455
What are you doing here?
298
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,248
Well, I... I know you think of me
299
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,833
as a pretty together guy but
300
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,002
sometimes I need a little help.
301
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,587
Just six nights a week
302
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,756
for... twenty years.
303
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,591
Looks like someone found a buddy.
304
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,885
Hey, there, why don't you
tell us your name
305
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,261
and how long you've been smoking?
306
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,263
Uh, I'd rather not.
307
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:32,848
I understand.
308
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,517
It's not easy to admit we're weak.
309
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,061
You're calling me weak?
310
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,146
Look at your little birdy arms.
311
00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:41,065
They're no thicker than a cigarette.
312
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,524
I could smoke them little arms.
313
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,902
Come on, dad, open up.
314
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,862
Ah... Is this your son?
315
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:50,115
It's beautiful how you came out
to support your daddy.
316
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,533
I'm a smoker, too.
317
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,704
Oh, no... How long
have you been addicted to cigarettes?
318
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,791
Since my dad let me smoke a whole carton.
319
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,085
Oh.
320
00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:02,920
Wait a minute, I didn't let him.
321
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,046
I made him.
322
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,506
It was a punishment.
323
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:07,925
Can I get a new buddy?
324
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,385
What is wrong with him?
325
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:10,844
You are sick, sir.
326
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,513
You shouldn't be allowed to have children.
327
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,556
Now, hold on a minute here.
328
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,601
I didn't bring my family here
to be yelled at.
329
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:19,687
I don't think I like this club.
330
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,355
You all whine too much
331
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:22,856
and the coffee's bad.
332
00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:24,650
I'll tell you what you need to do.
333
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,735
You need to take a thirteenth step...
334
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,529
down off your high horse.
335
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,656
Yeah!
336
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,077
Huh.
337
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:37,496
Here's to three of the bravest individuals
338
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:39,373
- in all of Arlen.
339
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,959
To the Hills
and their tobacco-free future!
340
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,545
My gosh, are you still talking?
341
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:47,589
Why's my potato got skin on it?
342
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,049
- I hate skin!
343
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:52,344
I will not sit here
and have my work insulted.
344
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:55,723
What? Do you think the potatoes
just fly into the bowl
345
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,099
and mash themselves?!
346
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,852
I know y'all don't mean
none of those harsh words.
347
00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:02,563
It's just the nicotine withdrawal.
348
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,898
Why is she still talking?
349
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:13,073
Oh, my God!
350
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,075
Drop it. Drop.
351
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:16,577
Drop it.
352
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,041
Bobby, Hank, hold on.
353
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,083
I got it.
354
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,923
When's this thing supposed to kick in?
355
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,341
It's not working.
356
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:32,342
It's broken.
357
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,305
Bobby, the patch goes
on your shoulder.
358
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,640
Bobby... Bobby!
359
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,480
Bobby, spit it out! Spit it out!
360
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,689
Hank, you hold him.
361
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:46,899
I'll get a stick.
362
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,450
- Ah. Ah. Ah.
- I...
363
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,994
I wasn't going to smoke it, I swear.
364
00:17:59,078 --> 00:17:59,912
I know.
365
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:00,829
You did it.
366
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:02,748
Good boy.
367
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:04,917
Here's your treat.
368
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,461
- Bobby, Aunt Peg, come in here.
369
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,130
Uncle Hank's clean.
370
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,091
- He's going to be okay.
371
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,342
Oh, yeah? Good job.
372
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:14,593
Well done. So proud.
373
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,011
Let's celebrate.
374
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,180
I'll make an icebox cake.
375
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,973
Bobby, why don't you...
376
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,017
Hey, uh...
377
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,060
Where's Aunt Peggy?
378
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,854
The cigarette's gone!
379
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:27,898
- Mom?
380
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,276
- I found her.
- Close the darn door.
381
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,861
Can't you see that I am knitting?
382
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,864
Mom, hand over the cigarette.
383
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:36,782
No.
384
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:39,034
Mom, this is not your son.
385
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,119
This is your buddy.
386
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,204
- No.
- Hand it over.
387
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:43,789
Who's your buddy?
388
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,207
Who's your buddy?
389
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,210
Well done, Bobby.
390
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,963
- Hey, wait a minute!
- Give me that! Give it to me!
391
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:51,880
What are you doing?
392
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,424
All of you, just stop it!
393
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:56,760
You want the cigarette?
394
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,971
- You want it so bad?
395
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:00,889
Come and get it.
396
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,099
Come on.
397
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,268
- Oooh!
- Hey, hey, hey. Out of there.
398
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,353
- Hey, what are you doing, Luanne?
399
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:08,480
- Unlock this door, right now!
400
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:10,440
I'm crating you all in
401
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,234
like an unruly dog.
402
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,195
I am sick of dysfunctional families.
403
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:16,530
I came from one
404
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,866
and I'm not going to let it happen to you.
405
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:19,783
Function!
406
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,785
Function, darn you!
407
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:24,663
Okay...
408
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,415
Women and children first.
409
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:28,542
I take the first puff
410
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,711
Bobby here gets the second.
411
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,505
If there's anything left...
412
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:34,423
You.
413
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:35,966
Who are you trying to kid?
414
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:38,135
We all know there won't be anything left.
415
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,429
Let's you and me split it, Peg.
416
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:41,930
It'll be romantic.
417
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,141
You know, like the old days.
418
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:45,934
Before he came along.
419
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,478
Mama, it's your son.
420
00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:50,939
Nine months inside, remember?
421
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:53,400
Those were good times, too.
422
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,484
- I don't know.
423
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,777
All of this is happening too fast.
424
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,695
I just don't know.
425
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:57,696
Well, I do.
426
00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,489
Come on, Bobby, you and me can take her.
427
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,909
- You go high, I'll go low.
428
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,076
Hey, back off!
429
00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:05,287
- I will drop it. I will.
430
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:06,455
I will drop this.
431
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,044
- No!
- No!
432
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:16,798
Well, look at us,
433
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,050
at each other's throats.
434
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,552
And after all we've been through.
435
00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:23,597
This family has survived fires
and twisters
436
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:26,433
and every strain of flu
the orient could throw at us.
437
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,644
Well, we are not going to be done in
438
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,354
by a lousy tobacco leaf.
439
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,772
We're going to make it...
440
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:32,898
together!
441
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,566
Now, who's with me? Hands in the center.
442
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,109
- Come on!
443
00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:01,551
Huh!
444
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:10,435
Oh, Hank.
445
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,853
I know.
446
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,147
Isn't it the most beautiful day
447
00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:15,607
you've ever seen?
448
00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:17,943
What a day to be alive.
449
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,573
Hey, dad. Over here!
450
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:24,783
Go deep, Bobby!
451
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:25,701
- Ah.
452
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,869
Here, Bobby, Bobby! Over here! Aah.
453
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:28,954
All right.
454
00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:30,455
Me! Me now! Hoo-hoo.
455
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:31,707
- Over here, Peggy!
456
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,333
- Uh... Okay.
457
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,676
{\an8}Y'all listen up, man.
458
00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:43,927
{\an8}This is Boomhauer.
459
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,554
{\an8}This is your lungs on air.
460
00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,014
{\an8}This is your lungs on smoke.
461
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:48,432
{\an8}See the difference, man?
462
00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:50,100
{\an8}It's going to stunt your growth all over
463
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:52,936
{\an8}end up in that dang old hospital
bed like Morton Downey Jr.
464
00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:54,855
{\an8}Robert Downey Jr. even worse, man.
465
00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:58,150
{\an8}Yo, think talking about oral gratification
466
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,610
{\an8}all that dang, it going to give
you a low sperm count, man,
467
00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:01,945
{\an8}give you ear hair.
468
00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:06,158
{\an8}- Yo, it just ain't... ain't no good.