1
00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:40,832
Hmm. Two and an eighth.
2
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,627
{\an8}And two and a sixteenth.
3
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,380
{\an8}Better let some air out of my left tires.
4
00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:51,092
{\an8}Hey, you getting your lawn ready
for cinco de mayo, Hank?
5
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:54,262
{\an8}Bill, my lawn is
in a constant state of readiness.
6
00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:57,015
{\an8}The block party is just
an opportunity to trot her out
7
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,141
{\an8}and show what she can do.
8
00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,476
- Hey, Hank,
9
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,604
{\an8}since you let your lawn go to heck,
okay, if Doggie make on it?
10
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:05,065
Hey, if you've got
something to say, say it.
11
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:08,902
{\an8}It's not my place to point out
low density patches here... over there...
12
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,237
- And behind other side of house.
13
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,948
Sucky lawn bring down value
of my property.
14
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,409
- Now, you listen here, Kahn.
15
00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:18,119
{\an8}If anyone's bringing down
16
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,789
{\an8}the value of this neighborhood, it's me.
17
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:24,084
{\an8}My lawn's nothing
but ragweed and auto parts.
18
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,878
I should be ashamed
to live next to Hank Hill.
19
00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:29,172
He's got the best lawn in Arlen.
20
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:31,508
Oh, best lawn... after mine.
21
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:32,801
- Ha!
22
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:33,885
Ha!
23
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:36,930
Oh, don't worry, Hank.
24
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:40,100
We might be able to tell Kahn's lawn
is better than yours,
25
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,727
{\an8}but all those people
at the block party, they won't.
26
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,270
They'll be drunk.
27
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,275
Darn.
28
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:52,070
I've poured my whole life into this lawn.
29
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,155
{\an8}My heart, my soul...
30
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:57,826
{\an8}the tender feelings
I've held back from my family.
31
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:02,080
Now, Hank, you don't want to win that way.
32
00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:06,167
Why don't you just switch those back
and go in and hug your wife.
33
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:12,549
Bethany, it does not matter
if your avocados are hard.
34
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:14,300
Life is hard.
35
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:19,222
You cannot make authentic guacamole
out of lima beans and ritz crackers.
36
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:21,391
Ah, these people...
37
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,976
- Gringos.
38
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,604
I'm just glad you're in charge
of the block party this year, Aunt Peggy.
39
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:29,732
Last year it was all tex and no mex.
40
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:34,696
I don't know why everyone's so gaga
over Kahn's lawn all of a sudden.
41
00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:38,116
For God's sakes,
the man mows with the grain.
42
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:39,159
Oh, he's the devil.
43
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,286
Anyway, Hank.
Would you please tell Boomhauer
44
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,288
swiss cheese is not Mexican?
45
00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:44,789
It is American.
46
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:48,126
I want him to bring some monterrey hack.
47
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,878
I'm the block captain.
48
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:53,131
I should have the best lawn
for cinco de mayo.
49
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:54,841
But look at her, something's wrong.
50
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,635
She's like a pretty girl with short hair.
51
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:02,348
Hey, Hank, what do you say
to another lawn spraying
52
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,225
from your favorite exterminator?
53
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,311
Well, uh, I don't know.
54
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:10,398
I guess those twice-a-week sprayings
have been doing the job, Dale.
55
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,150
I lost another client.
56
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,486
Thinks I use too much chemicals.
57
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:19,365
I say Sara Lee
uses more chemicals than I do.
58
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,951
Come on, I need to make up the income.
59
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,077
I'll do it for free.
60
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:26,623
Uh, well... Okay.
61
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,082
Wingo, man!
62
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:29,584
I'll get my stuff.
63
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:32,086
You know, maybe
that's what's wrong with your lawn.
64
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,380
- Dale's spraying too much poison on it?
65
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,924
What? No...
66
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,051
He's always sprayed my lawn.
67
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,470
And if I can give
some business to my friend
68
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,263
and keep my lawn bug-free,
69
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:44,015
it's worth two dollars a week.
70
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:47,393
Well, then, good for you
for choosing your friend over your lawn.
71
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,396
- All right.
72
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,983
Turn your cuffs down, boys
and make sure you're zipped.
73
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,902
Uh, you know what, Dale?
74
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,988
I thought it over,
and I think I'll take a rain check.
75
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,908
But I was going to spray
for fire ants today.
76
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,202
All the same, I'll give it a pass.
77
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,329
Oh, I wouldn't advise that.
78
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:07,956
You risk getting a queen.
79
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:09,540
Look at her!
80
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,836
She can lay a million eggs
in a 24-hour period.
81
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,046
Wow...
82
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:18,341
That's more than a human woman
does in a lifetime.
83
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:22,553
These fire ants are well-organized,
highly trained insects.
84
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,472
They'll swarm all over you
85
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:28,518
and sting you all at once
without warning on a single command.
86
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:31,271
It's how they killed L. Ron Hubbard.
87
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:35,400
Ah, Dale, fire ants
don't sting you all at once.
88
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:38,945
Half of them bite,
the other half are on defense.
89
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,530
That's not true.
90
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:41,948
I don't know, man, Hank's the man.
91
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,950
He knows, dang ol' Hank's the man.
92
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,202
What are you guys listening to Hank for?
93
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:51,749
I have dedicated my professional career
to the study and control of arthropods.
94
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:56,462
I have personally taste-tested
each and every household insecticide.
95
00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:58,047
I have read a book.
96
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,675
Now, who do you believe, me or Hank?
97
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,969
- Hank.
- Dang ol' Hank's more believable.
98
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,096
Fine, side with him.
99
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:07,849
Just to show you what a big man I am
100
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:10,059
I'll still spray your lawn.
101
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,938
Dale, I don't want you
to spray my lawn anymore.
102
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,024
- Not now, not ever.
103
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:19,235
I see what's going on here.
104
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,279
You got another exterminator.
105
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:22,864
Is he licensed?
106
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,407
Is he bonded?
107
00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:25,533
Is that it?
108
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,328
Did you want someone
who's licensed and bonded?
109
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:31,748
Dale, let's not make this any harder
than it has to be.
110
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:32,915
It's over.
111
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,459
- But...
112
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,127
I'm your exterminator.
113
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:38,087
You were my exterminator.
114
00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:40,048
Now we're just friends.
115
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,636
Don't do this to me in front of everybody.
116
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,681
Let me just spray a little
to keep up appearances.
117
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:49,640
No.
118
00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,026
All done, Hank.
119
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:03,112
Just keep the dog
in the house for an hour.
120
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,074
I did what had to be done.
121
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:08,868
- I got rid of an anti-lawn element.
122
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:12,747
Sure, he's a friend,
but I have lots of friends.
123
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,916
I only have the one lawn.
124
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:20,880
Hmm...
125
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,715
- What do you think?
126
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,884
Does this say Hank Hill?
127
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,512
I thought we just came
for seed and fertilizer.
128
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:30,098
Why are men so attracted to hoes?
129
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,849
Peggy...
130
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,518
- Peggy, look!
131
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,937
- It's Raleigh St. Augustine.
132
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,689
The heck with fertilizer and seed.
I want this.
133
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,776
Hank, it's $1.25 a square foot.
134
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:44,195
- So what? It's worth it.
135
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:47,782
Look, some people hoist a flag
to show they love our country.
136
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,742
Well, my lawn is my flag.
137
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:51,744
It tells the world,
138
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:55,039
here lives a competent,
trustworthy salesman
139
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:58,084
of propane and propane accessories.
140
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:01,629
A man who can't keep up a lawn
is either inept or stupid.
141
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,507
Without my lawn, I am Bill.
142
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,968
Do you want to be married to Bill?
143
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:16,727
Well, mister
144
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:20,022
you have just installed
the finest lawn on the block.
145
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,442
Oh, Peggy, I didn't do it for me.
146
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,818
I did it for Arlen.
147
00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:27,155
Ooh, it looks so nice. Can I touch it?
148
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,906
Sure. It's a lawn.
149
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:30,741
It's meant to be enjoyed.
150
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,326
- Ooh...
151
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:37,832
It feels so... good against my skin.
152
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:47,758
Uh, okay, that's enough.
153
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,093
Ahh.
154
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,346
- Hey, Hank.
155
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,682
Congrats on the lawn, friend.
156
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,518
Well, I'm glad you came.
157
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:58,561
May I?
158
00:07:58,686 --> 00:07:59,687
Just a little.
159
00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:03,691
Oh, yeah... That's nice.
160
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:06,319
Feels like a shag carpet with dirt.
161
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,654
Feels like... home.
162
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:09,864
Hey!
163
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,240
Get off my property!
164
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,035
Luanne!
165
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,411
For God's sakes...
166
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,295
Ouch.
167
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,642
Ahh.
168
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,187
Boy, it does feel good against the skin.
169
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,355
Hank Hill,
170
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,565
somebody steal my TV guide out of mailbox.
171
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:48,945
First I think it Bill,
but then I think, "Can Bill read?"
172
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,196
Well, hey, Kahn.
173
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,240
- Just letting my feet air out here.
174
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,116
Well, Hillbilly barefoot.
175
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,368
Big surprise.
176
00:08:55,368 --> 00:09:00,540
Yep. Just walking around
on my lush, super-plush new lawn.
177
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,709
I noticed.
Raleigh st. Augustine, very expensive.
178
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:07,129
Well, I think it was worth it
for the best lawn in Arlen.
179
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,006
Yes, yes, all right. You win. Best lawn.
180
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,841
Tomorrow maybe we compare salary.
181
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,177
Kahn Jr., get fertilizer.
182
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,012
Minh, get my tax return.
183
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:20,268
Hmm, don't want to get a hose imprint.
184
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,271
Ow! What the...
185
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:25,690
A fire ant?
186
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:29,193
Oh, God, no!
187
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,320
An anthill on my new lawn!
188
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:34,156
Oh, so that's what that is.
189
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,992
How did I get fire ants?
190
00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:38,661
I'm only a professional exterminator.
191
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,246
I don't know how you get 'em.
192
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,998
I only know how you get rid of 'em.
193
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,041
Welp, got to go.
194
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,628
It's called eco-kill, Hank.
195
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:50,172
The government would not
let them use the word "Eco"
196
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,091
- unless it was ecologically safe.
197
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,552
I don't know, Peggy.
198
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:57,722
It seems to me it's going
to take more than a bag of flies
199
00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:00,683
to scare off these red devil bastards.
200
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:03,811
No-ho-ho-ho-ho,
they do more than scare 'em.
201
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:08,107
"The phorid fly injects its egg
into the fire ant's head.
202
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:10,568
The egg hatches into a maggot
203
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,612
which eats awa at the ant's brain
204
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,946
until the head falls off.
205
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,324
- Repeat as necessary.
- I like it.
206
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,869
This is exactly what
those environmentalists
207
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,829
should be spending their time on,
208
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:25,583
finding ways to use nature
against other forms of nature
209
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,585
that are inconvenient to man.
210
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:30,546
Wow. Look how busy this ant is.
211
00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:33,507
It's got so many places to go
212
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,217
and so many things to do.
213
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:36,469
- Oops.
214
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:38,596
Ooh.
215
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,806
Your parents got eco-kill.
216
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,350
Cool.
217
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,977
We can collect the empty ant heads
when they're done.
218
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,104
What a terrible way to die.
219
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:48,606
- Oops.
220
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:51,609
Come on, if we save them,
we can play with them.
221
00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:06,999
Hey, look at that chubby white one.
222
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:10,836
He reminds me of me,
before my growth spurt.
223
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,463
That's the queen, stupid.
224
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,424
It looks just like
the one on my dad's truck.
225
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,176
You mean, Dale Gribble's truck?
226
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,386
Yeah, yeah. My dad.
227
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,304
The queen is cool.
228
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:21,931
She lets out smells
229
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,225
that make the other ants
do whatever she wants.
230
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:26,060
Wow.
231
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,231
Hmm.
232
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:31,732
Well, well, well.
233
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:35,027
Looks like those fire ants
played you like a darn fiddle.
234
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,821
Yeah, well, the opera ain't over yet.
235
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:40,866
Okay, ants, put your heads
between your six legs...
236
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,785
- ...and kiss your butt good-bye.
237
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,588
"Celebration of local graffiti artists?"
238
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,007
I'll give you a headline,
239
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:59,510
"Local man cancels
newspaper subscription."
240
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:03,681
Hey, Hank!
241
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:06,058
You got a permit
for all that construction?
242
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,561
You've got ants.
243
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,038
Yes, my queen.
244
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:41,677
Yo, Peggy wants me to barbecue
20 pounds of Mexican sausage.
245
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,514
I got half a tank of propane left.
You think that's enough?
246
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,684
I figure I could top it off
with some lighter fluid or something.
247
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:52,605
Whoa, Bill, you don't want to be mixing
and matching your petrochemicals.
248
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:55,649
The propane association recommends that...
249
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,067
It'll be fine, Bill.
250
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,402
Burn is burn.
251
00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,695
"Burn is burn."
252
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,155
I got to remember that.
253
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,908
No, no. I'm telling you, that's dangerous.
254
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,993
Propane is what I know best.
255
00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,787
Well, it sure ain't lawns.
256
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:12,166
Yeah, man, you're dang sure
right about that, yo.
257
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:16,921
Hey, guys, I kind of got
to talk to Dale alone.
258
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:23,844
Hank, I was just telling
the guys about Stonehenge.
259
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:27,807
It seems the druids used it
as some kind of sophisticated celestial...
260
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,684
Uh, Dale, I didn't come here to...
261
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:33,813
Oh, no. For once you will hear me out.
262
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:35,773
Calendar.
263
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,526
Now, what can I do for you?
264
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,152
You can save my lawn.
265
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,279
Those fire ants are out of control.
266
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,907
Dale, you're the only one who can help me.
267
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,743
That's right. I am.
268
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,162
The question is, why should I?
269
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,248
Well, I'll give you two dollars.
270
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,834
Ha! Two dollars.
271
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,254
Because you're my friend.
272
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,298
Ooh, I'm Hank's "Friend."
273
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,259
Tie a ribbon around me.
274
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,470
Because I'm coming to you, man to man
275
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:11,016
offering a genuine apology
for choosing my lawn over our friendship.
276
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,604
Geez, Hank, I was just
holding out for $2.50.
277
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,023
- Hey, what's that? What are you spraying?
278
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,859
There won't be bleaching, will there?
279
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:20,818
Hell, no.
280
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:25,114
Uh... I'd put that mask back on
if I were you.
281
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:27,783
You should have come to me sooner.
282
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,202
- I got to pull out the big gun...
283
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:34,540
...dioxaphilaphide 6,000 with techroline.
284
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,085
And don't forget,
it is cuatro de mayo.
285
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:39,962
That's right, brother.
286
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,171
- That's right man.
287
00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:56,312
It's not fair.
288
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,188
She was so young
289
00:14:58,272 --> 00:14:59,440
and green.
290
00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:02,776
I never even got a chance to mow her.
291
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,904
- Oh, it'll be okay, Hank.
292
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:08,073
You will grow a new lawn
by next year's Cinco de mayo.
293
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,784
Uh-uh. I can't go through this again.
294
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:14,288
From now on, wood chips and gravel.
295
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,372
Now, you do not mean that.
296
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:17,833
Ashes to ashes, man.
297
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,293
That dang ol' ashes to ashes.
298
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:24,840
I only used as much poison as necessary
and not a 55-gallon drum more.
299
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,258
Poor Hank.
300
00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,011
- Serves him right.
- Darn straight.
301
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,179
Yeah, yeah, does.
302
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,764
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, where I come from
303
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,015
we got a thing called karma.
304
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,017
You do something bad,
305
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:37,394
it come back and bite you in the ass!
306
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,229
Big, white stubborn ass.
307
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,608
Uh, guys, I can hear you.
308
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,443
- Aunt Peggy.
309
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,403
Buckley wants to bring his .38
310
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,030
to shoot off at the block party,
311
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,158
but Uncle Hank said nothing
bigger than a .22.
312
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:53,911
Well, now, he is
the block captain, Luanne.
313
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,415
Now, I coat the churros
314
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,167
with azucar or sugar.
315
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,754
- Well, how very odd.
316
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,090
Now what the heck was that?
317
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:10,636
- Feast, my queen, feast.
318
00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:25,776
I just hope Hank doesn't blame Dale
for what happened.
319
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,069
Oh, no, Nancy.
320
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,279
He knows Dale was only doing his job.
321
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:31,156
That's it. He gave him a 50-cent raise.
322
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,409
Oh, sugar.
323
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:34,868
We're out of sugar, shug.
324
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:37,162
You know, I think there's some
more in the basement.
325
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,831
Oh, no, I'll go get it.
326
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,010
Dale?
327
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,561
- Mm.
328
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:12,990
Oh, my goodness.
329
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:13,991
Hey, Peggy.
330
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,451
How could you do it?
331
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:18,954
How could you plant fire ants on our lawn?
332
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,540
Uh, I'm denying that. That's my position.
333
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,375
Dale, you wrote it on this map...
334
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,127
3:00 AM, planted ants.
335
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,588
If all you're going on
is my confession, forget it.
336
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,506
- I'm simply not credible.
337
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:33,594
Well, then, what on God's green earth
are you doing with all these fire ants?
338
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:36,096
Uh... they're silkworms.
339
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,056
Uh-huh.
340
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:40,184
If you keep your mouth shut,
I'll make you a business suit.
341
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:45,773
No. I cannot allow you
to leave the safety of the bowl.
342
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:47,816
It is too dangerous out there.
343
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:51,820
Forgive me, my queen.
344
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,280
I spoke out of turn.
345
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:03,040
Yes, your majesty,
I will tell my people about you.
346
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:08,128
And may I be so bold as to ask you
to tell your subjects about...
347
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:10,047
- Uh-oh.
348
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:15,469
I'm telling you, Hank, it is Dale
with those fire ants...
349
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,387
- Dale!
350
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:19,973
Oh, man.
351
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:22,226
- Dale, you went too far this time.
352
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,019
- Come back here.
353
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,188
- Come here! I'm going to kick your ass.
- No!
354
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:28,524
- No.
- I'm going to kick it harder
355
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:29,858
if you don't come over here.
356
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,610
You shouldn't have fired me!
357
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,153
You know what I'm like!
358
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,364
I'm capable of any crazy thing!
359
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:36,865
But my lawn, Dale?
360
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,076
You don't mess with a man's lawn!
361
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,494
I had no choice!
362
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:43,580
I tried planting the ants in your driveway
but they didn't take.
363
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,624
They couldn't bite through cement.
364
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,417
They're weak, like me!
365
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,128
Um, Dad...
366
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,547
Not now, Bobby,
I'm in the middle of something.
367
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,173
This really can't wait.
368
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:56,760
Aah, Bobby, what are you doing?
369
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,512
- Take 'em off.
370
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,222
Bobby, don't move a muscle.
371
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,265
What?
372
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,474
Listen to him, Bobby.
373
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,476
If you move,
they're all gonna sting at once.
374
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,894
Take my hand, Bobby.
375
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,646
The ants will swarm on me.
376
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:08,981
What if they don't?
377
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,899
Oh, they will.
378
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,945
They've been waiting to get
a piece of me for 15 years.
379
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:17,990
Come and get it, boys.
380
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,453
Youch.
381
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,373
D-Dale?
382
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:29,376
Mr. Gribble?
383
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,086
Dale, no!
384
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:32,671
Oh.
385
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:34,965
- Oh, God.
386
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:38,844
You sacrificed your life to save my son.
387
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:43,515
I guess that makes us even
for you ruining my lawn.
388
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:47,227
What am I saying?
Of course it makes us even.
389
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:55,194
While I was blacked out,
was anything inserted into me?
390
00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:57,279
You're alive?
391
00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:58,822
Answer the question.
392
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:10,751
...And it's on the green.
393
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,002
Beautiful.
394
00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,087
It's on the green.
395
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:15,839
So green and soothing.
396
00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:17,507
Oh, yeah.
397
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,218
Come join the block party.
398
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:22,721
How about at least one margarrrrita
before Bill finishes them all.
399
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:26,183
It's not... Margarrrrita.
400
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:28,644
Okay. It's margarita.
401
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:34,191
- Oh, Hank. Hank, come quick.
402
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:36,944
Well, I'll be.
403
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,279
- Here, Hank.
404
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:42,115
I've been saving this for someone special.
405
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,369
But I guess she's never coming back.
406
00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:47,913
Try and make lawn nice, neighbor.
407
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:51,458
Organically grown. No chemicals.
408
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:53,961
I killed all the bugs with my fingers.
409
00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:55,587
Whoo-ee, man.
410
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,589
That dang ol' Hank, man.
411
00:20:57,673 --> 00:21:00,050
Everybody's best friend, man.
Richest man in the world.
412
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:03,470
Just like the dang old, jimmy... Yo.
413
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:06,139
Well, this is a very friendly gesture.
414
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:09,476
I-I-I like you all a whole lot.
415
00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:11,270
If any of you weren't here,
416
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,730
- I'd miss you some.
417
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:16,191
I especially want to thank Dale Gribble.
418
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:20,821
Without his paranoid,
and... well, hateful nature,
419
00:21:21,321 --> 00:21:22,281
I never would've learned
420
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,950
what kind of beating
a friendship can survive.
421
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,868
You're my best friend, Dale.
422
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:29,162
Oh, I thought
I was your best friend, Hank.
423
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:31,707
Yeah, well...