1
00:00:00,542 --> 00:00:02,085
(birds chirping)
2
00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:03,461
(car approaching)
3
00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:04,921
Sensors detect a ship
4
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,757
on an intercept course at warp speed.
5
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,426
Should we go to red alert?
6
00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:11,136
Make it so.
7
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,388
-(birds chirping)
-(car approaching)
8
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,640
JOSEPH: I'm having a party next Sunday.
9
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:16,891
BOBBY: Can I come?
10
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,476
I guess.
11
00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:21,688
Arm the photon torpedoes.
12
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:22,689
(birds squealing)
13
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,983
(both hawking up loogies)
14
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,735
Is there going to be cake?
15
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,571
Nope. This party's going to be different.
16
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:31,114
Different how?
17
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,616
There's going to be girls.
18
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,826
Fire!
19
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,911
-(Joseph spits)
-(Bobby swallows)
20
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,330
(light music)
21
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,917
(fast-paced light music)
22
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:07,984
(light music)
23
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,861
WOMAN: In 1983,
24
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,905
disaster struck Mrs. Alma Campbell
25
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,907
when she got her hair chemically relaxed
26
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,451
at the casa linda salon in las cruces.
27
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,453
What was the issue?
28
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:20,663
Miss Platter?
29
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,335
It didn't look good?
30
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:29,214
No. Miss Johnson, enlighten us, please.
31
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:31,049
The stylist failed to detect
32
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,051
the subject's habitual overuse of henna
33
00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,345
which can prevent penetration
of chemical relaxants
34
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:38,056
like sodium hydroxide
and ammonium thioglycolate.
35
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:41,935
Bravo. Remember,
the most difficult cut in beauty school
36
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,061
is the cut that separates
37
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,855
first-year students
from second-year students.
38
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,732
Think about that
while you study for next week's
39
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:50,026
final exam, Miss Platter.
40
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,694
(somber music)
41
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:52,904
BOBBY: "A manicurist
42
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:55,824
with a seven-inch file
is on a train heading east
43
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,242
{\an8}at 80 miles per hour."
44
00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:00,161
{\an8}Oh, not another manicure question!
45
00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:02,705
{\an8}Why do I need to learn all this stuff?
46
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:04,958
{\an8}Beauty is an art.
47
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,043
{\an8}It's not something you can learn in school
48
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,170
{\an8}like gym or study hall.
49
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:12,757
{\an8}-(door slams)
- Bill's, Bill's, Bill's...
50
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:15,677
Why do we keep getting Bill's mail?
51
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:18,721
Uncle Hank, want me
to give you a whole new look?
52
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,265
Why would I want to do that?
53
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,808
You don't mess with success.
54
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,561
{\an8}But I need as much practice as I can get
55
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,478
{\an8}before my final.
56
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,147
Please!
57
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:31,234
Well, it has been almost a week
since my last haircut.
58
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:32,443
Aw, what the heck.
59
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:33,361
I could use a trim.
60
00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:34,320
{\an8}Great!
61
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,073
{\an8}I'll be right with you.
62
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,118
(squeaks)
63
00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:42,579
I can't see any highlights.
64
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:43,496
Yes, you can.
65
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,039
You love them. Next.
66
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:48,126
Hey, what's cooking, good-loo...
(gasps in shock)
67
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,336
Well, I do not like it either,
68
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,673
but I am trying to be supportive
of Luanne's education,
69
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,675
and I expect you to do the same.
70
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,177
LUANNE: Uncle Hank!
71
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,429
One chair, no waiting!
72
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,598
No way, Peggy. Uh-uh.
73
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:04,017
My hair is our livelihood.
74
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:07,687
The advantages of propane
don't always sell themselves.
75
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,772
All set, Uncle Hank.
76
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,566
Uh, Luanne...
77
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:14,402
I'm thinking about
just letting my hair grow.
78
00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:15,778
Oh.
79
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,990
Well, have you... ever
considered a different color?
80
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,241
(chuckles)
81
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,993
Men don't do that.
82
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,037
Oh, sure, they do.
83
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,456
-(clattering)
- Even President Reagan did.
84
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,791
Hey, now, if Ron Reagan dyed his hair,
85
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,668
and I'm not saying he did,
86
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:34,047
it was only to show his strength
to the communists.
87
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:34,964
(hisses)
88
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:37,967
Joseph's having a party.
89
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,428
A boy-girl party.
90
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,222
- With girls.
-(squeaks)
91
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,015
You're going to need some chaperones,
92
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,350
especially if my Bobby's there.
93
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,726
(Hank and Dale chuckle)
94
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:47,644
Don't worry.
95
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,187
- I got it all under control.
-(car approaching)
96
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:52,148
There's not going to be
any hanky-panky at my house.
97
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,359
Hey, John Redcorn.
98
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:56,694
(country music over radio)
99
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,571
Huh... Yeah.
100
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:03,159
You know, it's about time
Bobby got bit by the love bug.
101
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,494
(chuckles)
102
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,622
Boy, when I was his age,
I was so girl-crazy.
103
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:10,166
They called me Ricardo Montalban.
104
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,417
(Bill slurps)
105
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,002
Heh. After the actor.
106
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,671
Yep. Joseph's getting to be
107
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,923
a real lady-killer, too.
108
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,299
(exhales)
109
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:21,261
I reckon he gets that from his old man.
110
00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:24,013
(quirky music)
111
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:25,765
Hey, there, Bobby.
112
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:28,309
I guess they found a cure for the cooties.
113
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,519
(chuckles)
114
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:30,603
I don't know.
115
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:31,562
What are cooties?
116
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,147
Well, when I was a boy,
117
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,441
that's what we called
the germs you got from girls.
118
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,819
- Oh, you mean like chlamydia?
-(birds chirping)
119
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:38,736
Huh?
120
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,571
What on earth are you two talking about?
121
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,825
Bobby was invited
to his first boy-girl party.
122
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,410
A boy-girl party?
123
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:46,744
Already?
124
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,871
Well, I don't think I want to go.
125
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,873
Well, that's just fine, Bobby.
126
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,500
Would you like a juice box?
127
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,710
Wait a minute.
128
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:57,630
Son, why would you not want
to go to a boy-girl party?
129
00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,008
Parties are fun, Bobby.
130
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:03,886
Everybody dresses up
and get to touch dance...
131
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,096
Touch dance?
132
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:07,015
I... I don't know.
133
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,683
What if I get felt up?
134
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:11,227
Oh, you just need some practice.
135
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,857
Luanne's right. All you need is practice.
136
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,400
You think Jeff Foxworthy
137
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,902
just woke up one day
and took some funny pills?
138
00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:24,073
And that's why blonds don't necessarily
have more fun.
139
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,327
All right, class.
Let's take a few moments to discuss
140
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,370
next week's final exam.
141
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,538
Mr. Hernandez,
142
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,040
hand them their heads.
143
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,083
-(clatters)
- You will be required to demonstrate
144
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,961
a year's worth of theory
on your practice head.
145
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,379
Be advised,
146
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:42,133
in beauty school, as in life,
you only get one head.
147
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:45,219
You will need to use both
to pass the exam.
148
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:46,596
Miss Platter.
149
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,807
-(light music)
-(children chattering)
150
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,184
(indistinct chatter)
151
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,352
(hisses)
152
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,479
-(coughing)
-(girls laughing)
153
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,606
Hey, watch where you're going.
154
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:57,815
BOBBY: Okay.
155
00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,025
GIRL: Oh, no.
156
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:03,112
-(clanks)
-(girls laugh)
157
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,322
-(clanks)
-(thuds)
158
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,409
(girls laughing)
159
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,953
(upbeat dramatic music)
160
00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:12,538
(hissing)
161
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:13,456
(gasps)
162
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,291
(girls giggling)
163
00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:19,128
-(girls laughing)
-(hissing)
164
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,463
(coughs)
165
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:23,549
(girls laughing)
166
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:26,552
(in sluggish voice)
What have we here?
167
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:31,724
(screaming)
168
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,393
Hey, Bobby, want to eat?
169
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,812
- What? Okay.
-(clattering)
170
00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:39,065
Are you going to Joseph's party?
171
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,401
No. My dad won't let me be around boys
172
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,819
until after I'm married.
173
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:43,986
Are you going?
174
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,071
Nah.
175
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,281
Joseph's got a birthday in nine weeks,
176
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,659
and I, I don't want to get partied out.
177
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:53,871
Bobby, which bolo tie do you
want to wear to the party?
178
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:56,124
The cow skull or the bull skull?
179
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,208
It doesn't matter.
180
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,584
- I'm not going.
- What?
181
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,670
BOBBY: It's just a dumb party.
182
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,463
A dumb party with girls.
183
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,048
Well, I don't like girls.
184
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,885
Peg, honey, close the screen door.
185
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,387
Hank, can I speak with you?
186
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,139
- In a minute.
- In the kitchen.
187
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,141
This better be about dinner.
188
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,143
PEGGY: Well, Hank Hill,
189
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,854
why don't you just
drive him out to Hollywood
190
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,647
and put him on The Dating Game?
191
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,649
HANK: He's almost a teenager.
192
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,985
It ain't normal not to be curious.
193
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,320
Oh. It is perfectly normal
for a late bloomer--
194
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,364
Hey, he is not a late bloomer.
195
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,951
How can you even think something like that
about your own son?
196
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,663
Well, he obviously is not ready
to socialize with the opposite sex, Hank.
197
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:38,374
The way you baby him, he never will be.
198
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:40,501
Mm.
199
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,715
Do you know anyone
who would like a hot fudge sundae?
200
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,676
Look, Aunt Peggy. I got my practice head!
201
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:51,179
It's got real hair and everything!
202
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:52,805
Well, Luanne, it's a very nice head...
203
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:53,973
(yells)
Don't touch it!
204
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:58,019
Aunt Peggy, I can't let anything
happen to it before my final exam.
205
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,271
This is my chance to show everyone
206
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:04,108
it doesn't matter that I wasn't
paying any attention. I may not be...
207
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:06,235
-(Luanne chattering fading)
- Oh...
208
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,737
(sensual music)
209
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,491
(crickets chirping)
210
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,118
(dramatic music)
211
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:22,001
(dramatic music)
212
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,505
(yawns)
213
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:29,842
Hmm.
214
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:31,719
(light music)
215
00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:33,346
(birds chirping)
216
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,680
(clicking)
217
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,353
PEGGY: Well, Bobby and I
are going to the mall.
218
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,480
There's a sale on jockey shorts at sears.
219
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,398
Oh, maybe I'll go with you.
220
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,566
(clicking)
221
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,194
Okay, Bobby, vamanos. Come on.
222
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,862
BOBBY: Ooh, I just remembered
223
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:52,031
there's an after-school special on.
224
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,783
It's about Jesus.
225
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:57,537
Oh. Well, you cannot miss that.
226
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:00,748
Okay, Luanne, it's just you and me.
227
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,918
- Okay, bye.
-(door closes)
228
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,671
(engine revs)
229
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:11,342
(clanks)
230
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:13,678
(squeaks)
231
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,305
(clears throat)
232
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,223
Hi.
233
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,058
(sighs)
234
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,435
Hi. I'm Bobby.
235
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:23,688
(clinking)
236
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:25,690
I'm sorry.
237
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,400
We're all out of diet.
238
00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:33,322
You look really special tonight.
239
00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,032
You want to dance?
240
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,329
(salsa music)
241
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:47,962
-(car honks)
- Uh-oh.
242
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,839
(salsa music continues)
243
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:51,424
-(car door closes)
- Oh.
244
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,341
(squeaks)
245
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:57,471
-(door opens, closes)
-(slurping)
246
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:01,892
- Hello, sweetheart...
- Nothing!
247
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,312
(birds chirping)
248
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:05,646
HANK: Hey, Dale.
249
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,481
Bill, Boomhauer.
250
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,443
Don't you "Dale, Bill, Boomhauer" us.
251
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,694
You said noon.
252
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,154
It's 12:15.
253
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,905
Do you have any idea
254
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:16,324
how long we've been waiting?
255
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,700
HANK: I overslept.
256
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,535
My damn hair's getting so long.
257
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,663
It's rustling on my pillow
and keeping me up all night.
258
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,958
Uncle Hank, I never seen you
with such long hair.
259
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,251
Come on. Let me trim it.
260
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:28,419
Nope. Sorry.
261
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,838
I love my long, long hair.
262
00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:33,215
Why don't you practice
on your practice head?
263
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,760
But I only get one chance
to cut that hair.
264
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:39,013
Hey, we got a whole
busload of new recruits
265
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,473
coming on the base today.
266
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,891
You could practice on them.
267
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,809
Thanks, Mr. Dauterive.
268
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:46,062
I'll go get my instruments.
269
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,480
Boy, I can't wait
270
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,149
for her to get that damn test over with.
271
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,401
Yeah, I know.
You know, I feel for that kid.
272
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,153
I remember when I was starting out
273
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:56,697
as a young barber, I felt so alone.
274
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,199
Nobody cares, Bill.
275
00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:03,371
- DRILL SERGEANT: Left, right, left...
-(scissor clinking)
276
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,706
BILL: Mm-hmm. Clean lines,
277
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,667
nice shape on the cowlick, uh...
278
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,876
Primo cut, Luanne.
279
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:11,212
Thank you, Mr. Dauterive.
280
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:15,716
(whirring)
281
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,177
(Peggy whistle)
282
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,595
PEGGY: Wow, you look good.
283
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,180
You look better than good.
284
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,515
You look like a weatherman.
285
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:27,019
I'm just going to have some fruit
and a glass of skim milk.
286
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,606
I want to slim down for Joseph's party.
287
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,607
Attaboy.
288
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,609
But Bobby, you said you didn't wanna go.
289
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:34,985
I changed my mind.
290
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,946
He changed his mind.
291
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,948
Bet I know why.
292
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,991
LUANNE: Bobby Hill has a girlfriend.
293
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:43,661
- He does not! Do you?
- No.
294
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:46,038
There's nothing to be embarrassed about.
295
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,248
Hell, I'm proud of you.
296
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:48,999
Hell, I'm proud of you too, Dad.
297
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:49,959
Bye.
298
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,129
See Peggy? Our boy is perfectly normal.
299
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,046
(clicks)
300
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,132
(light music)
301
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:02,138
♪ Wouldn't it be nice if we were older ♪
302
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:06,058
♪ And we wouldn't have to wait so long? ♪
303
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:09,687
♪ And wouldn't it be nice
to live together ♪
304
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:15,317
♪ In the kind of world where we belong? ♪
305
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:18,487
♪ You know it's gonna
make it that much better ♪
306
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:25,244
♪ When we can say good night
and stay together ♪
307
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:29,415
♪ Wouldn't it be nice
if we could wake up ♪
308
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:33,043
♪ In the morning when the day is new? ♪
309
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:36,213
♪ And after having
spent the day together ♪
310
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:39,633
♪ Hold each other close
the whole night through... ♪
311
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:40,843
Hey, Courtney.
312
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,386
How you doing, Ashley?
313
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,096
Looking good, Maria.
314
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,182
I'll catch you later, Bonnie.
315
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:49,977
Man, when did you get to be so slick?
316
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:51,520
What do you mean?
317
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,856
Yo, Charisse, you stone cold fox, what up?
318
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:57,151
You're gonna be the most popular guy
at my party.
319
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,737
I hope your lips don't fall off.
320
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,030
From what?
321
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,698
From kissing.
322
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,409
We're going to play spin the bottle.
323
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:06,619
(groans)
324
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:07,912
(birds chirping)
325
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,914
(romantic music)
326
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,582
BOBBY: Guess who?
327
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,627
(giggles)
You look...
328
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,462
So tense.
329
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:19,590
I have something special
planned for tonight.
330
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,349
Bobby?
331
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:31,185
Honey, I need some help
with the groceries.
332
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:34,939
Bobby?
333
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:36,941
(whirring)
334
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:39,026
(romantic music)
335
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,406
BOBBY: Relax, baby.
336
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,699
It's just you...
337
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,076
- and me.
-(gasps)
338
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,913
(scary music)
339
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,206
(both scream)
340
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,290
- Bobby!
- Mom!
341
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:54,500
(both scream)
342
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,127
-(door clams)
-(panting)
343
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,550
You must have got it wrong.
344
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,426
Maybe he just fell on it or something.
345
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,679
Hank, he was kissing it!
346
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,973
I saw it with my own two eyes.
347
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,225
I'm going to be seeing it
for the rest of my life.
348
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,435
Now, Peggy, it's not your fault.
349
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,688
Well... Why'd you say that?
350
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,648
I just said it's not your fault.
351
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:19,441
Well, it did not need saying.
352
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,777
I know it is not my fault.
353
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,405
If anything, this is your fault.
354
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,907
you made him go to that
camp with no toilet doors.
355
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,909
Don't point at me, woman!
356
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,412
You're the one who parks him
in front of the TV
357
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:33,205
and makes him watch them muppets.
358
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,708
They got frogs kissing pigs...
359
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,668
What the hell did they
think was going to happen?
360
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:40,754
We are not going to get anywhere
by attacking each other.
361
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,882
We have to do the sensible thing.
362
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,092
We'll move to berlin.
363
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:47,511
- What?
- Bobby will be accepted there.
364
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,681
I read somewhere that Germans
are a very tolerant people.
365
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,142
Their culture admires all kinds of freaks.
366
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,977
Our boy is not a freak!
367
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,896
He's just confused.
368
00:14:56,896 --> 00:15:00,441
Now, I'm gonna cut those apron strings
you got him tied down with,
369
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,902
and set that boy straight,
I'll tell you what.
370
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:03,903
(fingers tapping)
371
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:04,820
HANK: Bobby.
372
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:08,908
We're heading down the hall
towards your room, son.
373
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,162
(knocks on door)
374
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,872
HANK: That's us knocking.
375
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,165
Your mother and me.
376
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,333
Come in.
377
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,667
HANK: Okay, then.
378
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,044
We're coming on in.
379
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,842
(door squeaking)
380
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,388
Bobby! How'd you like
to go for a car ride?
381
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,434
Look, Bobby, I'm as
open-minded as the next guy,
382
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:36,810
but just so you know,
383
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:39,480
most states won't let you
marry a plastic head.
384
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,815
I don't won't to marry it! Ugh!
385
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,360
I just need it to practice my first kiss,
386
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,070
so I don't look like an idiot.
387
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,655
You're kissing aplastic head,
388
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,657
and you're afraid
of looking like an idiot?
389
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,619
Son, I'm doing this for your own good.
390
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,829
You're just using this head as a crutch.
391
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,414
It's not a crutch, Dad!
392
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,584
It's something I've come to rely on
to get me through life.
393
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:01,502
(cabinet door closes)
394
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:04,213
Well, I'll make you a deal,
go to your party.
395
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:07,091
Afterwards, if you still want this head,
you can have it.
396
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:09,218
But I won't need it after the party!
397
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,344
Exactly.
398
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:11,261
(clicks)
399
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:14,264
HANK: Let this be the end of it.
400
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,141
(crickets chirping)
401
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,518
(snoring in distance)
402
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,603
(suspenseful music)
403
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,105
(clatters)
404
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:22,356
(dogs barking in distance)
405
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,442
(snoring continues)
406
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,778
(suspenseful music)
407
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:29,780
(clicks)
408
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:33,701
(snoring)
409
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,244
(cabinet door squeaking)
410
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:36,412
(snoring continues)
411
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,288
(scary music)
412
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:40,457
-(gasps)
- Well, that just tears it!
413
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,376
I have tried to be patient,
414
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,294
but now it's time for a little tough love.
415
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,046
(grunts, gasps)
416
00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:47,631
No!
(grunts)
417
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:49,633
Wait!
418
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:50,759
LUANNE: What's going on?
419
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:51,802
I don't know.
420
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:54,888
BOBBY (screaming): No, Dad! No!
421
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:56,557
Hank!
422
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:57,641
(machinery whirring)
423
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,018
- Stop, Hank!
-(whirring)
424
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,227
Please!
425
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:01,645
LUANNE: Oh, no!
426
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:03,605
Please, not my head.
427
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,399
My test!
428
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,067
What about my test?
429
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:09,445
(birds chirping)
430
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:10,988
(quirky music)
431
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,531
TEACHER: Passable.
432
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,243
Hm. Good.
433
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:19,747
First, this is not the plastic head
you were issued.
434
00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:22,624
Second, just look at the way
you shaved against the grain,
435
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,543
here, here and here.
436
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:27,171
And these are the worst sideburns
437
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,006
I've seen since chair three,
438
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,008
which makes me suspect you cheated.
439
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,217
"F."
440
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,344
That means you fail.
441
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:35,763
(sobbing)
442
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:40,726
What a bitch.
443
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,103
Ah, don't cry, Luanne.
444
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,522
This is the best haircut I ever had.
445
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:48,067
The hair is all nice and uniform
446
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:51,653
which is tough,
'cause I have bumps here and here.
447
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,030
LUANNE: I noticed.
448
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,948
I layered on the upslopes
449
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,575
and tapered on the down.
450
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:59,787
Yep, this is my all-time favorite haircut.
451
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:02,247
Oh... Thanks, Uncle Hank.
452
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,042
Miss Platter, I...
453
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:06,877
I'm sorry.
454
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,421
I've been mean and unfair.
455
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,632
I guess I just got so far from the hair,
456
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,468
and so into the whole power trip
of running the academy
457
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,846
I forgot the most important principle
458
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,723
of the beautician's art,
459
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,434
repeat business and referrals.
460
00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:24,686
You pleased your customer.
461
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,522
You pass.
462
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,731
(gasps)
463
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,609
(clapping slowly)
464
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:34,571
(students applauding, cheering)
465
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:38,742
(students whistling, cheering)
466
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:39,743
Ow!
467
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,121
Come here, Lady Bird.
468
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,080
Come here.
469
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,081
You're so pretty.
470
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:46,458
(smooching)
471
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:52,631
PEGGY: Bobby,
472
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:55,801
your father told me you were
just kissing the headfor practice.
473
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,679
Now, I know he made that up to protect me,
474
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:01,473
but I am your mother, and I have decided
475
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:04,309
that I am gonna love you no matter what.
476
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:05,727
Okay.
477
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:08,063
I realize I am just as much to blame
478
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,358
for your condition
as the media and the devil.
479
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:13,026
I have been overprotective.
480
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,486
You're not a baby anymore.
481
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:18,282
You are going to have
a long and interesting life ahead of you,
482
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:20,325
and it's time for me to just let go.
483
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:21,702
Just let go.
484
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:22,870
So you go on.
485
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:24,913
-(grunting)
- You go to the party.
486
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,999
That's right, just spread your wings
487
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,709
and fly away, little bird.
488
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,420
(grunting)
489
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,382
(light music)
490
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:42,222
(light music)
491
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,224
(gulps)
492
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,272
- KAHN JR: Watch out!
-(Bobby screams)
493
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,483
Hey, aren't you going to Joseph's party?
494
00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:55,944
I can't. It's a make-out party,
495
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,946
and my dad took away my plastic head.
496
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,031
What a buzzkill.
497
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,490
I've been practicing, too.
498
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,159
Look.
(kisses)
499
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,870
What a great idea!
500
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,289
I want my first kiss
to be perfect, you know?
501
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,708
Something sweet I can
keep with me my whole life.
502
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:11,418
Hey, Bobby.
503
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:12,711
Can we practice on each other?
504
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,213
You want to kiss me?
505
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,256
No! Just practice.
506
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,966
Oh. Okay.
507
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:19,635
Close your eyes.
508
00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:21,845
-(thuds)
-(both grunt)
509
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,388
This is stupid.
510
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,474
Let's try it with our eyes open.
511
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,853
(soft music)
512
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:30,812
(kisses)
513
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,064
Was that right?
514
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,398
I think so.
515
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:34,650
Do I have any hickeys?
516
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:36,818
I don't see anything.
517
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,820
MINH: Kahn, Jr.! Come home for dinner!
518
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,322
Your prawns getting cold!
519
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,035
Well, I better get to that party.
520
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:46,787
Hey...
521
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:47,704
Good luck.
522
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:49,248
Thanks.
523
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:51,833
(sighs)
524
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:54,419
(crickets chirping)
525
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:01,969
(whirring)
526
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:06,932
DALE: All right!
527
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,850
Why is it so quiet down here?
528
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,519
What are you kids up to?
529
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,603
Dad?
530
00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:14,940
(whirring continues)
531
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,567
Oh, Dale, let's leave 'em alone.
532
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:18,735
DALE: You can't leave 'em alone.
533
00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:20,153
NANCY: Oh, for Pete's sake.
534
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,739
I told you it's gonna happen when
you get boys and girls leave 'em alone.
535
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,450
- NANCY: So what?
- You get all that hanky-panky going on.
536
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:26,827
That's what supposed
to happen when you get
537
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:28,328
girls and boys together.
538
00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:30,330
DALE: It's the damn sugar.
(echoes)
539
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:32,040
Sugar, what? Sugar, what?
(echoes)
540
00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:35,877
(yells)
541
00:21:42,342 --> 00:21:45,345
(closing theme music)