1
00:00:37,115 --> 00:00:41,551
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome
to my underground lair.

2
00:00:41,619 --> 00:00:43,886
I have gathered here before me

3
00:00:43,954 --> 00:00:46,889
the world's deadliest assassins,

4
00:00:46,957 --> 00:00:52,596
and yet each of you has
failed to kill Austin Powers.

5
00:00:52,663 --> 00:00:56,483
That makes me angry, and
when Dr. Evil gets angry,

6
00:00:56,551 --> 00:00:59,019
Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset.

7
00:00:59,086 --> 00:01:01,938
And when Mr. Bigglesworth
gets upset...

8
00:01:02,006 --> 00:01:04,591
People die!

9
00:01:04,659 --> 00:01:05,675
Aah!

10
00:01:05,743 --> 00:01:06,943
Ha ha ha!

11
00:01:07,011 --> 00:01:08,094
Aaah!

12
00:01:08,162 --> 00:01:09,696
Whoaaaa!

13
00:01:09,764 --> 00:01:10,931
Aaaah!

14
00:01:10,999 --> 00:01:14,785
Why must I be surrounded
by frickin' idiots?

15
00:01:14,852 --> 00:01:16,403
Aah! Aah!

16
00:01:16,470 --> 00:01:18,405
Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah!

17
00:01:20,808 --> 00:01:24,311
Mustafa, Frau Farbissina,

18
00:01:24,379 --> 00:01:28,031
I spared your lives because I
need you to help me rid the world

19
00:01:28,332 --> 00:01:30,250
of britain's top secret agent,

20
00:01:30,585 --> 00:01:33,770
the only man who can stop me now.

21
00:01:33,838 --> 00:01:36,973
We must kill Austin Powers!

22
00:01:43,514 --> 00:01:44,614
Yeah!

23
00:02:15,997 --> 00:02:18,865
Come on, babies. Work
with me, people. All right.

24
00:02:18,933 --> 00:02:20,033
Show me love.

25
00:02:23,171 --> 00:02:24,972
Great, babies! Yeah!

26
00:02:25,957 --> 00:02:27,590
Oh, behave.

27
00:02:29,227 --> 00:02:31,361
Woman: It's Austin Powers!

28
00:02:31,428 --> 00:02:33,529
[Women squealing]

29
00:02:51,633 --> 00:02:54,735
It's Austin Powers! Aah!

30
00:03:36,928 --> 00:03:39,029
[Beep beep]

31
00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:49,372
Hello, Mrs. Kensington.

32
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,041
Hello, Austin.

33
00:03:51,108 --> 00:03:54,144
Why don't you ever model
for me, Mrs. Kensington?

34
00:03:54,211 --> 00:03:57,647
You know how Mr.
Kensington feels about that.

35
00:03:57,949 --> 00:03:59,700
Oh, behave.

36
00:03:59,767 --> 00:04:01,835
Heh heh heh, yeah!

37
00:04:01,903 --> 00:04:05,672
Yeah, baby! Yeah, heh heh heh.

38
00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:06,673
Ow!

39
00:04:06,741 --> 00:04:10,060
[Musical beeping]

40
00:04:10,127 --> 00:04:11,894
Hello, Austin.

41
00:04:11,963 --> 00:04:15,031
I'm basil exposition
with British intelligence.

42
00:04:15,099 --> 00:04:18,501
We have just received
word that Dr. Evil

43
00:04:18,569 --> 00:04:20,287
is planning a trap for
you tonight

44
00:04:20,354 --> 00:04:23,673
at the electric psychedelic
pussycat swinger's club

45
00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:25,208
here in swinging London.

46
00:04:25,276 --> 00:04:27,077
We'll be there.

47
00:04:38,789 --> 00:04:40,156
[Women squealing]

48
00:04:40,224 --> 00:04:42,342
Yeah, have a look, baby!

49
00:04:42,409 --> 00:04:44,027
Whoo!

50
00:04:44,095 --> 00:04:45,862
There you go. Come on, baby.

51
00:04:45,929 --> 00:04:48,465
Yeah, yeah!

52
00:04:48,532 --> 00:04:51,634
<i>[The strawberry alarm clock
plays incense and peppermints]</i>

53
00:04:54,205 --> 00:04:56,906
Austin, it's a swinging shindig.

54
00:04:56,974 --> 00:05:00,276
It's my happening, baby,
and it freaks me out!

55
00:05:00,344 --> 00:05:03,079
Yeah, man!

56
00:05:03,147 --> 00:05:06,683
♪ Little to win,♪
♪but nothing to lose ♪

57
00:05:06,751 --> 00:05:10,387
♪ incense and peppermints,
meaningless finds ♪

58
00:05:10,454 --> 00:05:13,590
♪ turn on, tune in,
turn your eyes around ♪

59
00:05:13,657 --> 00:05:17,560
♪ look at yourself,
look at yourself ♪

60
00:05:17,628 --> 00:05:21,364
♪ yeah, yeah

61
00:05:21,432 --> 00:05:23,633
Can I get you a drink,
Mr. Powers?

62
00:05:23,701 --> 00:05:24,301
Sure!

63
00:05:24,368 --> 00:05:27,437
Austin, we've got
to look for Dr. Evil.

64
00:05:27,738 --> 00:05:28,421
Wait.

65
00:05:28,489 --> 00:05:30,423
I've got an idea.

66
00:05:30,491 --> 00:05:31,491
Uhh!

67
00:05:31,559 --> 00:05:34,493
Austin! Why on earth
did you hit that woman?

68
00:05:34,561 --> 00:05:36,395
Right. Let me show you, baby.

69
00:05:36,463 --> 00:05:38,397
That ain't no woman.

70
00:05:38,465 --> 00:05:40,700
It's a man, man.

71
00:05:40,767 --> 00:05:43,336
[Crowd gasps]

72
00:05:43,403 --> 00:05:45,037
One of Dr. Evil's assassins.

73
00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:47,974
Man: Look out! He's got a knife!

74
00:05:53,914 --> 00:05:55,198
Good work, Mrs. Kensington.

75
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:56,466
All right, get up. Get up!

76
00:05:56,533 --> 00:06:00,419
Right...Where's Dr. Evil, huh?

77
00:06:00,487 --> 00:06:01,488
Where is he?

78
00:06:01,555 --> 00:06:02,739
Uhh!

79
00:06:02,806 --> 00:06:03,807
[Women scream]

80
00:06:03,809 --> 00:06:05,091
There's the bastard.

81
00:06:07,561 --> 00:06:08,995
Come on. Let's go.

82
00:06:09,062 --> 00:06:09,996
Coming through.

83
00:06:10,063 --> 00:06:11,631
Excuse me.

84
00:06:14,585 --> 00:06:16,853
I've got you now, Dr. Evil.

85
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,488
Not this time.

86
00:06:18,556 --> 00:06:20,990
Come, Mr. Bigglesworth!

87
00:06:21,292 --> 00:06:24,310
See you in the future, Mr. Powers.

88
00:06:24,545 --> 00:06:26,796
[Maniacal laughter]

89
00:06:28,566 --> 00:06:29,665
My God!

90
00:06:29,733 --> 00:06:32,085
He's freezing himself.

91
00:06:57,928 --> 00:07:00,013
Basil: And so Dr. Evil escaped

92
00:07:00,081 --> 00:07:02,515
and had himself
cryogenically frozen

93
00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:05,886
to return at a time when
free love no longer reigned

94
00:07:05,953 --> 00:07:08,521
and greed and
corruption ruled again.

95
00:07:22,803 --> 00:07:24,320
[Telephone rings]

96
00:07:24,388 --> 00:07:25,321
Yes?

97
00:07:25,389 --> 00:07:26,456
Commander gilmour?

98
00:07:26,524 --> 00:07:27,524
Speaking.

99
00:07:27,591 --> 00:07:29,526
Commander, this is
ritter in sou-west com 3.

100
00:07:29,593 --> 00:07:31,961
We have a potential bogey
with erratic vectoring

101
00:07:32,029 --> 00:07:33,696
and an unorthodox entry angle.

102
00:07:33,764 --> 00:07:36,132
What are you saying, son?

103
00:07:36,199 --> 00:07:39,636
Well, it appears to be
in the shape of a big boy.

104
00:07:39,703 --> 00:07:41,638
Good God... He's back.

105
00:07:41,705 --> 00:07:44,641
Well, in many ways, the
big boy never left, sir.

106
00:07:44,708 --> 00:07:48,511
He's always offered the same high
quality meals at competitive prices.

107
00:07:48,579 --> 00:07:49,646
Shut up.

108
00:07:49,713 --> 00:07:52,314
Shall I scramble tac
hq for an intercept?

109
00:07:52,382 --> 00:07:53,983
What's its current position?

110
00:07:54,051 --> 00:07:56,986
I'm presently tracking
it over Nevada.

111
00:07:57,054 --> 00:07:59,355
Oh, my God! The big boy's gone.

112
00:07:59,423 --> 00:08:00,623
Listen, son...

113
00:08:00,691 --> 00:08:03,793
I want you to forget
what you saw here today.

114
00:08:04,094 --> 00:08:08,181
Phillips... call
the president, sir.

115
00:08:08,248 --> 00:08:11,685
Prepare the jet,
bring my overnight bag,

116
00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:14,987
and, uh, Phillips, feed my fish?

117
00:08:15,055 --> 00:08:16,823
Not too much.

118
00:08:18,058 --> 00:08:20,894
I'm off to
London, eng-a-land.

119
00:08:25,749 --> 00:08:28,351
Basil: Powers volunteered
to have himself frozen

120
00:08:28,419 --> 00:08:30,520
in case Dr. Evil
should ever return.

121
00:08:30,588 --> 00:08:32,855
Gilmour: Well, I hope
your boy's up to it.

122
00:08:32,923 --> 00:08:35,891
We don't wanna have to
bail you guys out again

123
00:08:35,959 --> 00:08:38,027
like after w.W.Ii.

124
00:08:39,796 --> 00:08:42,265
Basil: This is our celebrity vault.

125
00:08:53,009 --> 00:08:54,477
Please.

126
00:08:54,778 --> 00:08:57,130
Russian officer: So, who
is this Austin Powers?

127
00:08:57,198 --> 00:08:59,299
The ultimate gentleman spy:

128
00:08:59,367 --> 00:09:02,268
Irresistible to women,
deadly to his enemies,

129
00:09:02,336 --> 00:09:05,938
a legend in his own time.

130
00:09:06,007 --> 00:09:07,940
Woman over speaker:
Attention. Stage one:

131
00:09:08,009 --> 00:09:10,076
Laser cutting begins.

132
00:09:12,079 --> 00:09:14,147
Laser cutting complete.

133
00:09:25,026 --> 00:09:30,096
Stage 2: Warm liquid
goo phase beginning.

134
00:09:33,334 --> 00:09:36,369
Warm liquid goo phase complete.

135
00:09:36,704 --> 00:09:40,790
Stage 3: Reanimation beginning.

136
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,145
Reanimation complete.

137
00:09:45,579 --> 00:09:48,181
[Coughing]

138
00:09:48,248 --> 00:09:52,969
Stage 4: Cleansing beginning.

139
00:09:57,274 --> 00:09:59,042
Cleansing complete.

140
00:10:21,549 --> 00:10:26,352
Stage 5: Evacuation beginning.

141
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:28,488
[Urinates heavily]

142
00:10:39,549 --> 00:10:42,268
[Urination continues]

143
00:10:52,747 --> 00:10:54,814
[Urination stops]

144
00:10:55,599 --> 00:10:57,033
Evacuation
comp--

145
00:10:57,101 --> 00:11:00,703
[urination resumes]

146
00:11:05,642 --> 00:11:06,909
[Urination stops]

147
00:11:06,977 --> 00:11:08,444
Evacuation
com--

148
00:11:08,512 --> 00:11:09,362
[trickling]

149
00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:10,363
Com--

150
00:11:10,431 --> 00:11:11,364
[trickling]

151
00:11:11,432 --> 00:11:12,365
Com--

152
00:11:12,433 --> 00:11:13,666
[trickling]

153
00:11:13,734 --> 00:11:15,451
Evacuation
com--

154
00:11:15,519 --> 00:11:17,820
[urination resumes]

155
00:11:17,888 --> 00:11:19,955
[Mumbling]

156
00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:27,397
Uh...Uh... Wh-where am I?

157
00:11:27,464 --> 00:11:30,716
You're in the ministry of defence.

158
00:11:30,785 --> 00:11:33,119
It's 1997.

159
00:11:33,187 --> 00:11:35,288
You've been cryogenically frozen

160
00:11:35,355 --> 00:11:36,322
for 30 years.

161
00:11:36,390 --> 00:11:37,857
<i>Who are these people?!</i>

162
00:11:37,925 --> 00:11:39,375
The shouting is a
temporary side effect of

163
00:11:39,443 --> 00:11:41,177
the unfreezing process.

164
00:11:41,245 --> 00:11:45,814
<i>Yes. I'm having difficulty
controlling the volume of my voice!</i>

165
00:11:45,882 --> 00:11:47,716
This is commander gilmour,

166
00:11:47,784 --> 00:11:49,152
U.S. strategic command,

167
00:11:49,586 --> 00:11:51,204
and general borschevsky,

168
00:11:51,272 --> 00:11:52,088
Russian intelligence.

169
00:11:52,156 --> 00:11:55,608
Russian intelligence? Are you mad?

170
00:11:55,676 --> 00:11:57,843
A lot's happened
since you were frozen.

171
00:11:57,911 --> 00:12:00,246
The cold war's over.

172
00:12:00,681 --> 00:12:04,017
Well, finally, those capitalist
pigs will pay for their crimes, eh?

173
00:12:04,084 --> 00:12:06,035
Eh, comrades? Eh?

174
00:12:06,102 --> 00:12:08,438
Austin... We won.

175
00:12:08,505 --> 00:12:11,724
Oh, groovy. Smashing.
Yay, capitalism.

176
00:12:11,792 --> 00:12:13,059
Hello.

177
00:12:13,126 --> 00:12:14,360
Hello!

178
00:12:14,428 --> 00:12:17,263
Mr. Powers... the
president's quite concerned.

179
00:12:17,331 --> 00:12:19,365
We've got a madman on
the loose in Nevada.

180
00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:21,584
Dr. Evil.

181
00:12:21,651 --> 00:12:23,252
When do I begin?

182
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,287
Immediately.

183
00:12:24,354 --> 00:12:26,389
You'll be working
with miss Kensington.

184
00:12:26,457 --> 00:12:28,624
Mrs. Kensington!

185
00:12:28,692 --> 00:12:32,695
Austin, Mrs. Kensington
has long since retired.

186
00:12:32,762 --> 00:12:36,865
<i>Miss Kensington is her daughter.</i>

187
00:12:36,933 --> 00:12:38,501
Ah, here she is.

188
00:12:41,271 --> 00:12:45,674
Vanessa is one of our top agents.

189
00:12:50,231 --> 00:12:53,666
My God, Vanessa's
got a fabulous body...

190
00:12:53,734 --> 00:12:56,936
And I bet she shags like a minx.

191
00:12:57,921 --> 00:13:01,023
How do I tell them that because
of the unfreezing process,

192
00:13:01,091 --> 00:13:03,192
I have no inner monologue?

193
00:13:04,928 --> 00:13:08,898
I...Hope I didn't say
that out loud just now.

194
00:13:08,966 --> 00:13:11,601
Heh heh heh...

195
00:13:13,103 --> 00:13:17,206
Mr. Powers, my job is to
acclimatize you to the nineties.

196
00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:19,509
You know, a lot's
changed since 1967.

197
00:13:19,576 --> 00:13:22,778
No doubt, love, but as long
as people are still having

198
00:13:22,846 --> 00:13:26,315
promiscuous sex with many anonymous
partners without protection,

199
00:13:26,383 --> 00:13:30,119
while at the same time experimenting
with mind-expanding drugs

200
00:13:30,187 --> 00:13:32,288
in a consequence-free environment,

201
00:13:32,356 --> 00:13:34,457
I'll be sound as a pound.

202
00:13:38,479 --> 00:13:41,080
Danger Powers--
personal effects.

203
00:13:41,148 --> 00:13:44,183
Actually, my name is Austin Powers.

204
00:13:44,618 --> 00:13:46,252
It says here "name--
danger Powers."

205
00:13:46,319 --> 00:13:48,821
No, no, no, no, no.

206
00:13:48,889 --> 00:13:51,157
Danger's my middle name.

207
00:13:52,226 --> 00:13:55,128
Ok. Austin
danger Powers--

208
00:13:55,195 --> 00:13:58,297
one blue crushed velvet suit...

209
00:13:58,365 --> 00:13:59,298
Hey, all right.

210
00:13:59,366 --> 00:14:01,033
One frilly lace cravat...

211
00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:02,101
There it is.

212
00:14:02,169 --> 00:14:05,504
One silver medallion
with "male" symbol...

213
00:14:05,572 --> 00:14:08,340
One pair of Italian boots...

214
00:14:08,408 --> 00:14:09,508
<i>Buon giorno, boys.</i>

215
00:14:09,576 --> 00:14:11,177
One vinyl record album:

216
00:14:11,245 --> 00:14:13,379
<i>Burt bacharach plays his hits...</i>

217
00:14:13,446 --> 00:14:14,781
Hey, Burt!

218
00:14:14,848 --> 00:14:20,603
One Swedish-made...
Penis enlarger pump...

219
00:14:21,804 --> 00:14:23,039
That's not mine.

220
00:14:23,106 --> 00:14:27,910
One credit card receipt for
Swedish-made penis enlarger

221
00:14:27,977 --> 00:14:29,912
signed by Austin Powers...

222
00:14:29,979 --> 00:14:32,381
I'm telling you,
baby, that's not mine.

223
00:14:32,449 --> 00:14:36,585
One warranty card for
Swedish-made penis enlarger pump

224
00:14:36,653 --> 00:14:38,587
filled out by... Austin Powers...

225
00:14:38,655 --> 00:14:40,622
I don't even know what this is.

226
00:14:40,690 --> 00:14:43,092
This sort of thing
ain't my bag, baby.

227
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,627
<i>One book: Swedish-made
penis enlarger pumps and me:</i>

228
00:14:45,695 --> 00:14:49,898
<i>(This sort of thing
is my bag, baby)...</i>

229
00:14:49,966 --> 00:14:52,301
By...Austin Powers.

230
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:55,137
Uh...Just sign the form.

231
00:14:55,205 --> 00:14:57,223
Ok, don't get heavy,
man, I'll sign it,

232
00:14:57,291 --> 00:14:59,958
just to get things
moving, you know.

233
00:15:00,026 --> 00:15:01,727
You're all right, baby.

234
00:15:01,795 --> 00:15:03,996
Listen, Mr. Powers.

235
00:15:04,331 --> 00:15:06,082
I look forward to working with you,

236
00:15:06,149 --> 00:15:08,817
but do me a favor and
stop calling me "baby."

237
00:15:08,885 --> 00:15:12,354
You can address me
as... Agent Kensington.

238
00:15:12,422 --> 00:15:13,655
Oh, come on.

239
00:15:15,092 --> 00:15:16,992
All right, then... Vanessa.

240
00:15:17,060 --> 00:15:18,760
Was that so hard?

241
00:15:19,896 --> 00:15:22,364
Now come along. We have
to leave immediately.

242
00:15:22,432 --> 00:15:25,334
We preserved your private
jet just as you left it.

243
00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:27,169
It's waiting at Heathrow airport.

244
00:15:27,237 --> 00:15:30,206
My jumbo jet! Smashing, baby!

245
00:15:30,273 --> 00:15:31,840
Oop...Sorry.

246
00:15:32,742 --> 00:15:34,009
Mr. Powers?

247
00:15:37,614 --> 00:15:39,181
Quickly.

248
00:15:39,249 --> 00:15:41,517
Quickly. Come on, lad. Let's go.

249
00:15:55,749 --> 00:15:59,001
Dr. Evil: Gentlemen, welcome
to my underground lair.

250
00:15:59,069 --> 00:16:02,288
It's been 30 years, but I'm back.

251
00:16:02,355 --> 00:16:04,490
Everything's gone perfectly to plan

252
00:16:04,558 --> 00:16:06,625
except for one
small flaw--

253
00:16:06,693 --> 00:16:09,962
due to a technical error
by my henchman Mustafa,

254
00:16:10,029 --> 00:16:14,083
complications arose in
the unfreezing process.

255
00:16:14,518 --> 00:16:16,602
But my design was perfect.

256
00:16:16,669 --> 00:16:19,671
Look what you did
to Mr. Bigglesworth!

257
00:16:20,690 --> 00:16:24,326
But, Dr. Evil, we were
unable to anticipate

258
00:16:24,394 --> 00:16:27,563
feline complications to
the reanimation process--

259
00:16:27,631 --> 00:16:28,865
silence!

260
00:16:28,932 --> 00:16:30,649
Aah!

261
00:16:30,717 --> 00:16:34,536
Aaaaaaaaah!

262
00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:39,191
Let this be a reminder to you all

263
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:42,161
that this organization
will not tolerate failure.

264
00:16:42,229 --> 00:16:47,383
[Mustafa moans in agony]

265
00:16:47,450 --> 00:16:51,170
Gentlemen, let's
get down to business.

266
00:16:51,238 --> 00:16:54,807
[Mustafa moans in agony]

267
00:16:54,875 --> 00:16:57,042
We've got a lot of work to do.

268
00:16:57,110 --> 00:16:58,778
Mustafa: Someone help me!

269
00:16:58,845 --> 00:17:02,881
I-I'm...Still alive, only
I'm very... Badly burned.

270
00:17:04,751 --> 00:17:06,252
Some of you I know,

271
00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:08,854
some of you I'm meeting
for the first time.

272
00:17:08,921 --> 00:17:12,224
Mustafa: Ah-ah! Hello
out there! Anyone!

273
00:17:12,659 --> 00:17:13,893
Could someone call an ambulance?

274
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,295
I'm in quite... A lot of pain.

275
00:17:16,362 --> 00:17:18,597
Ok, you've all been
gathered here to form--

276
00:17:18,665 --> 00:17:21,600
ohhh! Excuse me.

277
00:17:21,668 --> 00:17:23,302
Yes. He's down there.

278
00:17:23,370 --> 00:17:27,105
No, not dead--
burned. Badly.

279
00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:29,941
Yes.

280
00:17:31,044 --> 00:17:31,943
Right.

281
00:17:32,011 --> 00:17:33,279
Mustafa: If somebody

282
00:17:33,346 --> 00:17:35,481
could open the retrieval
hatch down here,

283
00:17:35,549 --> 00:17:36,615
I could get out.

284
00:17:36,683 --> 00:17:38,450
See, I designed
this device myself--

285
00:17:38,518 --> 00:17:40,619
[hatch opens] Oh! Hi. Good.

286
00:17:40,687 --> 00:17:42,621
I'm glad you found me. Listen...

287
00:17:42,689 --> 00:17:43,955
I'm very badly burned,

288
00:17:44,023 --> 00:17:45,457
so if you
could just--

289
00:17:45,525 --> 00:17:47,159
[gunshot]

290
00:17:47,227 --> 00:17:48,827
You shot me!

291
00:17:48,895 --> 00:17:50,296
Ok, moving
along--

292
00:17:50,363 --> 00:17:52,130
you shot me right in the arm!

293
00:17:52,199 --> 00:17:53,131
Why
did--

294
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,300
[gunshot]

295
00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:04,860
[Retrieval hatch closes]

296
00:18:04,928 --> 00:18:06,062
Right.

297
00:18:06,129 --> 00:18:08,931
Let me go around the table
and introduce everyone.

298
00:18:08,999 --> 00:18:14,070
Frau Farbissina: Founder of the
militant wing of the salvation army.

299
00:18:14,504 --> 00:18:17,607
Random task: Korean ex-wrestler,

300
00:18:17,674 --> 00:18:20,676
Evil handyman extraordinaire.

301
00:18:20,744 --> 00:18:24,096
Random task, show them what you do.

302
00:18:34,190 --> 00:18:36,441
[Neck cracking]

303
00:18:37,944 --> 00:18:38,944
Patty o'brien:

304
00:18:39,011 --> 00:18:41,113
Ex-Irish assassin.

305
00:18:41,180 --> 00:18:43,299
His trademark-- a
superstitious man,

306
00:18:43,367 --> 00:18:46,785
he leaves a tiny keepsake
from his good luck bracelet

307
00:18:46,853 --> 00:18:48,653
on every victim he kills.

308
00:18:48,721 --> 00:18:51,173
Scotland yard would
love to get their hands

309
00:18:51,241 --> 00:18:53,643
on that piece of evidence.

310
00:18:53,710 --> 00:18:56,695
[Irish accent] Yeah, they're
always after me lucky charms.

311
00:18:56,763 --> 00:18:59,331
[Tittering]

312
00:18:59,766 --> 00:19:01,166
[Chortling]

313
00:19:01,234 --> 00:19:05,470
What? Why's everyone always
laugh when I say that?

314
00:19:05,538 --> 00:19:08,090
<i>They are after me lucky charms!</i>

315
00:19:08,158 --> 00:19:09,875
What?

316
00:19:09,943 --> 00:19:13,312
[German accent] It's a
television commercial...

317
00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:15,697
With this cartoon leprechaun,

318
00:19:15,765 --> 00:19:18,000
and all of these childrens
are trying to chase him--

319
00:19:18,068 --> 00:19:19,902
"hey, leprechaun man!

320
00:19:19,970 --> 00:19:22,622
Won't you give your lucky charms?"

321
00:19:22,689 --> 00:19:23,839
Oh, and there's always

322
00:19:23,907 --> 00:19:26,008
these little, tiny
bits of marshmallows

323
00:19:26,075 --> 00:19:27,676
just stuck right in the cereal

324
00:19:27,744 --> 00:19:29,678
so that when the kids
eat them, they think,

325
00:19:29,746 --> 00:19:31,981
"oh, this is candy.
I'm having fun!"

326
00:19:35,251 --> 00:19:37,669
Finally, we come to
my number-two man.

327
00:19:37,737 --> 00:19:40,005
His name:

328
00:19:40,073 --> 00:19:41,307
Number Two.

329
00:19:41,374 --> 00:19:44,343
For 30 years, number
Two has run virtucon,

330
00:19:44,411 --> 00:19:47,513
the legitimate face
of my evil empire.

331
00:19:49,316 --> 00:19:52,334
Dr. Evil, over the last 30 years,

332
00:19:52,402 --> 00:19:55,103
virtucon has grown
by leaps and bounds.

333
00:19:55,171 --> 00:19:59,975
About 15 years ago, we
changed from volatile chemicals

334
00:20:00,410 --> 00:20:03,045
to the communications industry.

335
00:20:03,113 --> 00:20:06,165
We own cable
companies in 38 states.

336
00:20:06,233 --> 00:20:08,834
We own a steel mill in Cleveland,

337
00:20:09,302 --> 00:20:12,388
shipping in Texas, oil
refineries in Seattle,

338
00:20:12,455 --> 00:20:13,805
and a factory in Chicago

339
00:20:13,873 --> 00:20:16,675
that makes miniature
models of factories.

340
00:20:16,743 --> 00:20:19,011
Naturally, yes.

341
00:20:19,078 --> 00:20:20,146
Gentlemen...

342
00:20:22,582 --> 00:20:24,150
I have a plan.

343
00:20:28,087 --> 00:20:29,321
[Meow]

344
00:20:34,093 --> 00:20:36,162
It's called blackmail.

345
00:20:36,229 --> 00:20:38,831
As you know, the
royal family of britain

346
00:20:38,899 --> 00:20:41,500
are the wealthiest
landowners in the world.

347
00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:45,604
Either the royal family pays us
an exorbitant amount of money,

348
00:20:45,672 --> 00:20:48,874
or we make it seem
that prince Charles

349
00:20:48,942 --> 00:20:50,659
has had an affair
outside of marriage,

350
00:20:50,726 --> 00:20:54,696
and therefore...
Would have to divorce.

351
00:20:55,765 --> 00:20:57,299
Ahem.

352
00:20:57,367 --> 00:20:59,368
Prince Charles did have an affair,

353
00:20:59,436 --> 00:21:02,237
he admitted it, and
they are now divorced.

354
00:21:02,305 --> 00:21:03,539
Right. Ok, people,

355
00:21:03,606 --> 00:21:06,091
you have to tell me
these things, all right?

356
00:21:06,159 --> 00:21:09,711
I've been frozen for 30 years, ok?

357
00:21:09,779 --> 00:21:12,047
Throw me a frickin' bone here.

358
00:21:12,114 --> 00:21:16,235
I'm the boss. Need the info.

359
00:21:16,303 --> 00:21:18,070
Ok, no problem.

360
00:21:18,137 --> 00:21:19,672
Here's my second plan:

361
00:21:19,739 --> 00:21:21,039
Back in the sixties,

362
00:21:21,107 --> 00:21:23,041
I developed a
weather-changing machine,

363
00:21:23,109 --> 00:21:27,313
which was, in essence, a sophisticated
heat beam which we called a "laser."

364
00:21:27,380 --> 00:21:30,482
Using these "lasers,"
we punch a hole

365
00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:32,884
in the protective
layer around the world,

366
00:21:32,952 --> 00:21:36,054
which we call the "ozone" layer.

367
00:21:36,122 --> 00:21:39,808
Slowly, but surely,
ultraviolet rays would pour in,

368
00:21:39,875 --> 00:21:42,561
increasing the risk of skin cancer.

369
00:21:42,628 --> 00:21:49,902
That is unless... the world
pays us... A hefty ransom.

370
00:21:51,504 --> 00:21:52,905
Ahem.

371
00:21:54,473 --> 00:21:58,376
That also... already has happened.

372
00:21:58,444 --> 00:21:59,878
Shit.

373
00:22:01,748 --> 00:22:04,149
Oh, hell, let's just
do what we always do--

374
00:22:04,217 --> 00:22:07,786
hijack some nuclear weapons and
hold the world hostage. Good.

375
00:22:07,854 --> 00:22:09,855
Gentlemen, it's
come to my attention

376
00:22:09,923 --> 00:22:12,191
that a breakaway Russian
Republic-- kreplachistan--

377
00:22:12,258 --> 00:22:14,526
is about to transfer
a nuclear warhead

378
00:22:14,594 --> 00:22:16,895
to the united
nations in a few days.

379
00:22:16,963 --> 00:22:18,496
Here's the plan:

380
00:22:18,564 --> 00:22:23,869
We get the warhead, and we
hold the world ransom for...

381
00:22:23,937 --> 00:22:27,305
$1 million!

382
00:22:27,373 --> 00:22:29,157
Ahem.

383
00:22:30,577 --> 00:22:32,561
Don't you think we should maybe ask

384
00:22:32,629 --> 00:22:34,563
for more than a million dollars?

385
00:22:34,631 --> 00:22:38,601
A million dollars isn't exactly
a lot of money these days.

386
00:22:38,668 --> 00:22:42,220
Virtucon alone makes
over $9 billion a year.

387
00:22:42,288 --> 00:22:43,689
Really? Mm-hmm.

388
00:22:43,757 --> 00:22:45,891
That's a lot more.

389
00:22:45,958 --> 00:22:47,393
Ok, then.

390
00:22:47,460 --> 00:22:51,229
We hold the world ransom for...

391
00:22:51,297 --> 00:22:55,567
$100...Billion!

392
00:22:59,656 --> 00:23:02,057
Pretty groovy jumbo jet, eh?

393
00:23:02,125 --> 00:23:04,226
When you see this jet a-rockin',

394
00:23:04,293 --> 00:23:06,495
don't come a-knockin', baby! Yeah!

395
00:23:06,563 --> 00:23:09,031
I'm going to need you to
sign these release forms.

396
00:23:09,098 --> 00:23:09,999
Release forms?

397
00:23:10,066 --> 00:23:12,017
Yes. You're not officially working

398
00:23:12,084 --> 00:23:13,318
for ministry of defence,

399
00:23:13,386 --> 00:23:15,687
and these forms indemnify
the ministry against any...

400
00:23:15,755 --> 00:23:18,174
Mishaps that may occur
in the line of duty.

401
00:23:18,241 --> 00:23:20,176
Mishaps? But isn't that what being

402
00:23:20,243 --> 00:23:24,463
an international man
of mystery's all about?

403
00:23:24,531 --> 00:23:29,218
Ok. "Name." Austin...
Danger Powers.

404
00:23:29,286 --> 00:23:31,904
"Sex." Yes, please!

405
00:23:31,971 --> 00:23:33,906
How does a hot chick like you

406
00:23:33,973 --> 00:23:37,159
end up working in the
ministry of defence?

407
00:23:37,226 --> 00:23:39,411
Oh. Well, I went to Oxford,

408
00:23:39,479 --> 00:23:41,680
where I excelled
in several subjects,

409
00:23:41,748 --> 00:23:44,516
but I ended up specializing
in foreign languages.

410
00:23:44,584 --> 00:23:46,184
I really wanted to travel.

411
00:23:46,252 --> 00:23:48,587
You know, sort of see the world?

412
00:23:48,655 --> 00:23:49,438
That's fascinating, Vanessa.

413
00:23:49,506 --> 00:23:51,807
Listen, why don't we
go in the back and shag?

414
00:23:51,874 --> 00:23:53,091
What?

415
00:23:53,159 --> 00:23:54,343
I've been frozen for 30 years.

416
00:23:54,411 --> 00:23:56,812
I've gotta see if my bits
and pieces are still working.

417
00:23:56,879 --> 00:23:58,113
Excuse me?

418
00:23:58,181 --> 00:23:59,715
My wedding tackle.

419
00:23:59,782 --> 00:24:00,749
I'm
sorry--

420
00:24:00,817 --> 00:24:03,419
my meat and 2 veg,
my twig and berries.

421
00:24:03,486 --> 00:24:05,387
Hello, lads, you still awake?

422
00:24:05,455 --> 00:24:06,605
Mr. Powers, please.

423
00:24:06,673 --> 00:24:07,539
I'd appreciate it

424
00:24:07,606 --> 00:24:09,875
if you could concentrate
on our mission

425
00:24:09,943 --> 00:24:12,577
and give your libido a rest.

426
00:24:13,512 --> 00:24:15,747
Can I, uh...

427
00:24:15,815 --> 00:24:17,883
Can I show you something?

428
00:24:17,951 --> 00:24:22,287
♪ If you're feeling
sad and lonely ♪

429
00:24:22,355 --> 00:24:25,958
♪ there's a service
I can render ♪

430
00:24:26,025 --> 00:24:29,928
♪ tell the one who
loves you only ♪

431
00:24:29,996 --> 00:24:32,164
♪ I can be so warm
and tender... ♪

432
00:24:32,232 --> 00:24:36,034
I won't bite...Hard.

433
00:24:40,573 --> 00:24:41,974
All right.

434
00:24:43,542 --> 00:24:47,212
Let me ask you a
question, and be honest.

435
00:24:48,214 --> 00:24:49,181
Oh!

436
00:24:49,249 --> 00:24:50,815
Do I make you horny?

437
00:24:50,884 --> 00:24:52,084
Randy?

438
00:24:52,151 --> 00:24:55,453
Do I make you horny,
baby? Yeah, do I?

439
00:24:55,521 --> 00:24:58,641
I hope this is part of
the unfreezing process.

440
00:24:58,708 --> 00:25:01,059
Oh, turbulence! Oh, look at that!

441
00:25:01,127 --> 00:25:03,829
Oh, turbulence! Oh, I've gone over!

442
00:25:03,897 --> 00:25:05,497
Oh, I fell over again!

443
00:25:05,565 --> 00:25:08,634
Oh! Mr. Powers!

444
00:25:08,701 --> 00:25:10,619
I will never have
sex with you, ever!

445
00:25:10,687 --> 00:25:12,454
If you were the last man on earth

446
00:25:12,522 --> 00:25:14,456
and I was the last woman on earth

447
00:25:14,524 --> 00:25:16,125
and the future of the human race

448
00:25:16,192 --> 00:25:18,627
depended on our having
sex simply for procreation,

449
00:25:18,695 --> 00:25:21,196
I still would not
have sex with you.

450
00:25:21,264 --> 00:25:24,182
What's your point, Vanessa?

451
00:25:27,871 --> 00:25:32,207
♪ Don't be afraid,
you can call me ♪

452
00:25:32,275 --> 00:25:35,594
♪ maybe it's late,
but just call me ♪

453
00:25:35,662 --> 00:25:40,316
♪ tell me and I'll be around ♪

454
00:25:40,383 --> 00:25:41,717
Yeah!

455
00:25:41,785 --> 00:25:44,235
Remember when we froze your semen?

456
00:25:44,303 --> 00:25:47,005
You said if it didn't look
like you were coming back,

457
00:25:47,072 --> 00:25:49,474
we should try to make you a son

458
00:25:49,542 --> 00:25:51,009
so that a part of you
could live forever.

459
00:25:51,077 --> 00:25:52,278
Oh, sure.

460
00:25:52,345 --> 00:25:54,029
Well, after a couple of years,

461
00:25:54,096 --> 00:25:57,599
we...Got a little impatient.

462
00:25:57,667 --> 00:26:02,070
Dr. Evil, I want
you to meet your son.

463
00:26:02,138 --> 00:26:03,289
My son?

464
00:26:03,356 --> 00:26:04,706
<i>Ja.</i>

465
00:26:04,774 --> 00:26:07,543
Scott!

466
00:26:07,610 --> 00:26:10,979
[Grunge rock playing]

467
00:26:14,751 --> 00:26:16,501
Hello, Scott.

468
00:26:16,569 --> 00:26:18,303
Hi.

469
00:26:18,370 --> 00:26:19,938
I'm your father...

470
00:26:21,173 --> 00:26:23,608
Dr. Evil.

471
00:26:25,545 --> 00:26:27,612
I haven't seen you my whole life,

472
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:29,448
and now you come back

473
00:26:29,515 --> 00:26:31,950
and just expect a relationship?

474
00:26:32,017 --> 00:26:33,718
I hate you.

475
00:26:36,689 --> 00:26:37,989
What?

476
00:26:38,057 --> 00:26:40,492
Could I have a hug?

477
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,394
No.

478
00:26:42,462 --> 00:26:43,812
Give me a hug. No way.

479
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,480
Come here. I'm not
coming over there.

480
00:26:45,548 --> 00:26:46,748
Let's go. Forget it.

481
00:26:46,816 --> 00:26:48,684
Pronto. What are you doing?

482
00:26:48,751 --> 00:26:52,153
I'm with it. I'm hip.

483
00:26:52,221 --> 00:26:54,990
♪ Dukka-dukka, dukka-dukka,
dukka-dukka, dukka-dukka ♪

484
00:26:55,058 --> 00:26:57,659
♪ dukka-dukka, dukka-dukka,
dukka-dukka, dukka-dukka ♪

485
00:26:57,727 --> 00:27:01,196
♪ dukka-dukka, dukka-dukka,
dukka-dukka, dukka-dukka ♪

486
00:27:01,263 --> 00:27:02,497
♪ haa!

487
00:27:05,935 --> 00:27:08,503
Don't look at me like
I'm frickin' frankenstein.

488
00:27:08,571 --> 00:27:10,005
Give your father a hug.

489
00:27:10,073 --> 00:27:12,207
You're--hey,
don't touch me!

490
00:27:12,274 --> 00:27:14,509
Hug...Hug...Hug...

491
00:27:14,577 --> 00:27:17,762
Get away from me,
you lazy-eyed psycho!

492
00:27:33,279 --> 00:27:36,915
Austin: Viva Las Vegas, baby! Yeah!

493
00:27:44,490 --> 00:27:48,227
Whoa. Whoo! Whoo!

494
00:27:48,294 --> 00:27:49,661
Welcome to Las Vegas, sir.

495
00:27:53,065 --> 00:27:54,199
So...

496
00:27:54,267 --> 00:27:56,702
Which side of the bed do you want?

497
00:27:56,769 --> 00:27:59,371
You're sleeping on
the sofa, Mr. Powers.

498
00:27:59,439 --> 00:28:02,624
In fact, I'd like to take
this opportunity to remind you

499
00:28:02,692 --> 00:28:04,376
that the only reason
we're sharing a room

500
00:28:04,443 --> 00:28:05,543
is to keep up the context

501
00:28:05,611 --> 00:28:07,261
that we're a married
couple on vacation.

502
00:28:07,329 --> 00:28:08,697
Right.

503
00:28:08,764 --> 00:28:11,766
Should we shag now,
or shall we shag later?

504
00:28:11,834 --> 00:28:12,900
How do you like to do it?

505
00:28:12,968 --> 00:28:14,669
Do you like to wash up first,

506
00:28:14,737 --> 00:28:17,422
you know, top and
tails, whore's bath?

507
00:28:17,490 --> 00:28:18,924
Personally, before I'm on the job,

508
00:28:18,992 --> 00:28:20,225
I like to give my undercarriage

509
00:28:20,293 --> 00:28:22,995
a bit of a
how's-your-father.

510
00:28:24,197 --> 00:28:25,397
I'm just joking, Vanessa.

511
00:28:25,464 --> 00:28:27,782
I'm just trying to get a
rise out of you, that's all.

512
00:28:27,850 --> 00:28:29,684
For shits and giggles.

513
00:28:29,752 --> 00:28:31,653
Let's unpack.

514
00:28:37,926 --> 00:28:39,661
Gor blimey...

515
00:28:39,728 --> 00:28:41,296
Nude alert!

516
00:28:55,595 --> 00:28:57,396
How did this get in here?

517
00:28:57,463 --> 00:28:59,598
Somebody's playing a prank on me.

518
00:28:59,666 --> 00:29:02,401
Honestly, it's not mine.

519
00:29:02,835 --> 00:29:04,602
Hey, Americans, yeah!

520
00:29:04,670 --> 00:29:06,405
Enjoy that wine.

521
00:29:06,472 --> 00:29:07,672
Hey, there you are.

522
00:29:07,740 --> 00:29:09,074
Hi. Do I know you?

523
00:29:09,142 --> 00:29:10,943
No, but that's where
you are. You're there.

524
00:29:11,010 --> 00:29:13,111
Hey, viva Las Vegas, baby.

525
00:29:13,179 --> 00:29:14,179
Hey...

526
00:29:14,247 --> 00:29:15,180
Ok, Austin...

527
00:29:15,248 --> 00:29:16,214
Yes.

528
00:29:16,282 --> 00:29:17,515
Austin, there's a
company in Las Vegas

529
00:29:17,583 --> 00:29:18,850
called virtucon

530
00:29:18,918 --> 00:29:21,353
which we think may
be linked to Dr. Evil.

531
00:29:21,421 --> 00:29:23,188
Plenty of the virtucon executives

532
00:29:23,256 --> 00:29:25,090
are gambling in this casino.

533
00:29:25,158 --> 00:29:27,025
Smashing. Let's go.

534
00:29:27,092 --> 00:29:28,560
Look. There's one over there.

535
00:29:28,628 --> 00:29:30,411
Changing 1,000.

536
00:29:30,479 --> 00:29:31,913
Hello.

537
00:29:31,981 --> 00:29:33,414
Excuse me.

538
00:29:36,519 --> 00:29:38,553
Do you mind if I join you?

539
00:29:38,621 --> 00:29:40,589
Not at all.

540
00:29:41,907 --> 00:29:43,341
Dealer: The game is
Blackjack, gentlemen.

541
00:29:43,408 --> 00:29:45,960
$10,000 minimum bet.

542
00:29:46,028 --> 00:29:48,597
King for you, sir, and a 3 for you.

543
00:29:51,033 --> 00:29:52,483
17?

544
00:29:59,842 --> 00:30:01,426
Hit me.

545
00:30:01,494 --> 00:30:03,962
You have 17, sir.

546
00:30:04,030 --> 00:30:06,197
I like to live dangerously.

547
00:30:10,086 --> 00:30:12,387
4. 21.

548
00:30:18,828 --> 00:30:19,645
5.

549
00:30:22,398 --> 00:30:25,183
I'll stay.

550
00:30:25,250 --> 00:30:27,969
I suggest you hit, sir.

551
00:30:30,023 --> 00:30:33,358
I also like to live dangerously.

552
00:30:33,426 --> 00:30:35,193
Dealer: As you wish, sir.

553
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,515
20 beats your 5.

554
00:30:40,583 --> 00:30:42,350
I'm sorry, sir.

555
00:30:42,418 --> 00:30:44,570
Well, I won't lie to you.

556
00:30:44,637 --> 00:30:47,489
Cards are not my bag, baby.

557
00:30:47,557 --> 00:30:51,309
Allow myself to introduce...

558
00:30:51,376 --> 00:30:53,578
Myself.

559
00:30:53,645 --> 00:30:56,414
My name is Richie Cunningham,

560
00:30:56,481 --> 00:30:59,417
and this is my wife Oprah.

561
00:31:01,036 --> 00:31:03,254
My name is Number Two.

562
00:31:03,322 --> 00:31:05,390
This is my Italian
confidential secretary.

563
00:31:05,458 --> 00:31:07,092
Her name is alotta...

564
00:31:07,159 --> 00:31:09,861
Alotta Fagina.

565
00:31:10,646 --> 00:31:11,880
Come again?

566
00:31:11,948 --> 00:31:14,165
Alotta Fagina.

567
00:31:14,233 --> 00:31:15,383
Ah, I'm sorry. I'm
just not getting it.

568
00:31:15,451 --> 00:31:19,487
It sounded like you said
your name was a lot of, uh...

569
00:31:19,555 --> 00:31:20,956
Never mind.

570
00:31:23,759 --> 00:31:26,427
What exactly do you
do, Mr. Number Two?

571
00:31:26,495 --> 00:31:27,929
That's my business.

572
00:31:27,997 --> 00:31:29,280
Oh.

573
00:31:29,348 --> 00:31:30,115
Now, if you'll excuse me,

574
00:31:30,182 --> 00:31:33,719
I have to go to the
little boys' room.

575
00:31:33,786 --> 00:31:35,871
You keep your eye
on the Italian bird.

576
00:31:35,938 --> 00:31:39,091
We'll rendezvous back
at the hotel suite.

577
00:31:55,241 --> 00:31:57,142
You didn't happen to see...

578
00:31:57,210 --> 00:31:59,611
Anything at all.

579
00:31:59,679 --> 00:32:01,730
Ah. Sorry.

580
00:32:14,527 --> 00:32:15,660
Ow!

581
00:32:15,728 --> 00:32:16,794
Howdy.

582
00:32:20,065 --> 00:32:22,033
[Coughing]

583
00:32:22,101 --> 00:32:23,201
Whoo!

584
00:32:23,268 --> 00:32:26,104
That is one crazy getup
you got there, fella.

585
00:32:26,171 --> 00:32:27,438
Oh, thank you.

586
00:32:27,507 --> 00:32:28,940
Are you in the show?

587
00:32:29,008 --> 00:32:31,342
Uh, no. Actually, I'm English.

588
00:32:31,410 --> 00:32:34,345
Whew. I'm sorry.

589
00:32:34,413 --> 00:32:36,180
Right.

590
00:32:45,124 --> 00:32:46,858
Hey, partner?

591
00:32:46,925 --> 00:32:48,560
Have a good one.

592
00:32:48,628 --> 00:32:49,761
Ok.

593
00:33:03,893 --> 00:33:05,994
Ughhh...

594
00:33:06,061 --> 00:33:09,964
Ughhh...

595
00:33:10,032 --> 00:33:13,167
Ughhh...

596
00:33:13,235 --> 00:33:14,335
Hey, partner, come on,

597
00:33:14,403 --> 00:33:15,437
you gotta relax. Don't force it.

598
00:33:15,504 --> 00:33:17,972
Gonna blow out your
o-ring, drop a log.

599
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,608
Ughhh...

600
00:33:22,227 --> 00:33:26,197
[Whistling]

601
00:33:31,119 --> 00:33:35,924
Who does Number Two work for?

602
00:33:35,991 --> 00:33:40,194
Who does Number Two work for?

603
00:33:40,262 --> 00:33:43,064
That's right, buddy. You
show that turd who's boss.

604
00:33:46,101 --> 00:33:47,953
Hey...Hey, just grab
ahold of something,

605
00:33:48,020 --> 00:33:50,689
bite your lip, and
give it hell. Come on.

606
00:33:50,756 --> 00:33:53,157
We're gonna get through this.

607
00:33:53,225 --> 00:33:55,460
[Gurgling]

608
00:33:57,296 --> 00:33:58,546
Hey, that sounds pretty nasty.

609
00:33:58,613 --> 00:34:00,882
How about a courtesy
flush over there?

610
00:34:00,950 --> 00:34:02,383
[Flushes toilet]

611
00:34:09,242 --> 00:34:11,409
Jesus Christ, boy.

612
00:34:11,477 --> 00:34:13,995
What did you eat?

613
00:34:24,206 --> 00:34:25,607
Gentlemen,

614
00:34:25,674 --> 00:34:28,009
the warhead is ours.

615
00:34:28,076 --> 00:34:32,881
Patch me through to the united
nations security secret meeting room.

616
00:34:32,948 --> 00:34:34,549
[Beep]

617
00:34:34,617 --> 00:34:37,168
Gentlemen, my name is Dr. Evil.

618
00:34:37,236 --> 00:34:40,972
In a little while you'll notice
that the kreplachistani warhead

619
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:42,707
has gone missing.

620
00:34:42,775 --> 00:34:44,008
If you want it back,

621
00:34:44,076 --> 00:34:47,279
you're going to have to pay me...

622
00:34:47,346 --> 00:34:50,348
$1 million!

623
00:34:50,416 --> 00:34:52,751
[Laughter]

624
00:34:52,818 --> 00:34:54,068
Ahem.

625
00:34:56,805 --> 00:34:58,506
Sorry.

626
00:34:59,692 --> 00:35:02,327
$100 billion.

627
00:35:02,395 --> 00:35:03,895
Oh! Oh!

628
00:35:03,962 --> 00:35:05,547
Gentlemen, silence.

629
00:35:05,614 --> 00:35:08,315
Now, Mr.
Evil--

630
00:35:08,383 --> 00:35:09,517
<i>Dr. Evil.</i>

631
00:35:09,585 --> 00:35:11,753
I didn't spend 6 years
in evil medical school

632
00:35:11,820 --> 00:35:14,488
to be called mister,
thank you very much.

633
00:35:14,557 --> 00:35:17,258
It is the policy of
the united nations

634
00:35:17,325 --> 00:35:20,194
not to negotiate with terrorists.

635
00:35:20,262 --> 00:35:22,513
Really?

636
00:35:22,581 --> 00:35:23,915
So long.

637
00:35:28,270 --> 00:35:29,487
[All talking]

638
00:35:30,790 --> 00:35:33,424
Gentlemen, in exactly 5 days

639
00:35:33,492 --> 00:35:37,862
we will be $100 billion richer.

640
00:35:37,930 --> 00:35:40,031
Heh heh ha ha ha...

641
00:35:40,099 --> 00:35:42,500
Ha ha ha ha ha!

642
00:35:42,568 --> 00:35:45,203
Ha ha ha ha ha...

643
00:35:45,270 --> 00:35:47,972
Ho ho ha ha ha ha hah!

644
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,341
Ha ha ha ha ha...

645
00:35:50,409 --> 00:35:52,476
Ha ha ha ha ha...

646
00:35:52,544 --> 00:35:54,412
Ha ha ha ha ha...

647
00:35:54,479 --> 00:35:56,748
Ha ha ha ha ha...

648
00:35:56,816 --> 00:35:58,917
Ha ha ha ha ha...

649
00:35:58,984 --> 00:36:01,219
Ha ha ha ha ha...

650
00:36:01,286 --> 00:36:03,188
Uh, ha ha ha ha...

651
00:36:03,255 --> 00:36:05,256
Heh heh heh heh...

652
00:36:05,324 --> 00:36:06,657
Uh, ha ha ha...

653
00:36:06,726 --> 00:36:08,459
Ooh, Whoo...

654
00:36:08,527 --> 00:36:09,861
Uh, heh heh...

655
00:36:09,929 --> 00:36:13,564
Uh, heh...

656
00:36:13,632 --> 00:36:14,983
Hello, mummy?

657
00:36:15,050 --> 00:36:17,118
Oh, hello, Vanessa.

658
00:36:17,186 --> 00:36:18,920
And how's Austin?

659
00:36:18,988 --> 00:36:20,822
He's asleep.

660
00:36:20,890 --> 00:36:22,390
You didn't.

661
00:36:22,457 --> 00:36:23,557
No!

662
00:36:23,625 --> 00:36:25,860
I made him sleep on the sofa.

663
00:36:25,928 --> 00:36:28,897
Vanessa, I'm proud of you.

664
00:36:28,964 --> 00:36:29,931
Why?

665
00:36:29,999 --> 00:36:32,600
Because you've managed to resist

666
00:36:32,668 --> 00:36:34,502
Austin Powers' charms.

667
00:36:34,569 --> 00:36:36,971
Oh, well, God knows
he tried, mummy.

668
00:36:37,039 --> 00:36:39,573
I actually had to end up
being rather firm with him.

669
00:36:39,641 --> 00:36:42,844
What about his teeth?
It's really bizarre.

670
00:36:42,912 --> 00:36:44,796
Darling, you have to understand,

671
00:36:44,863 --> 00:36:47,365
in britain in the sixties,

672
00:36:47,433 --> 00:36:49,034
you could be a sex symbol

673
00:36:49,101 --> 00:36:50,501
and still have bad teeth.

674
00:36:50,569 --> 00:36:51,669
It didn't matter.

675
00:36:51,737 --> 00:36:53,204
Did you ever?

676
00:36:53,272 --> 00:36:55,907
Me? No, of course not.

677
00:36:55,975 --> 00:36:57,842
I was married to your father.

678
00:36:57,910 --> 00:36:59,744
Did you ever want to?

679
00:36:59,812 --> 00:37:02,547
Austin is very charming,

680
00:37:02,614 --> 00:37:04,782
very debonair.

681
00:37:04,850 --> 00:37:07,285
He's handsome, witty,

682
00:37:07,353 --> 00:37:09,520
has a knowledge of fine wines.

683
00:37:09,588 --> 00:37:10,988
Women want him,

684
00:37:11,056 --> 00:37:13,091
and men want to be him.

685
00:37:13,158 --> 00:37:16,594
He's every bit an
international man of mystery.

686
00:37:16,662 --> 00:37:19,130
Yeah, well, you didn't
answer my question, mummy.

687
00:37:19,198 --> 00:37:21,333
I know.

688
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:23,634
Let me just
say this--

689
00:37:23,702 --> 00:37:26,304
Austin was the most loyal and...

690
00:37:26,372 --> 00:37:29,441
Caring friend I ever had.

691
00:37:29,508 --> 00:37:32,510
I will always love him.

692
00:37:32,578 --> 00:37:34,545
Oh...Ohh...

693
00:37:34,613 --> 00:37:35,981
Do you want to speak to him?

694
00:37:36,048 --> 00:37:38,432
No. It's been too long.

695
00:37:38,500 --> 00:37:39,951
Ok, well, I'm going
to have to go, mummy,

696
00:37:40,019 --> 00:37:41,186
but I love you.

697
00:37:41,253 --> 00:37:42,587
Ciao, darling.

698
00:37:48,227 --> 00:37:50,795
A limo's just pulled up.

699
00:37:50,863 --> 00:37:52,497
Let me see.

700
00:37:54,666 --> 00:37:56,284
That's Dr. Evil's cat.

701
00:37:56,352 --> 00:37:57,318
How can you tell?

702
00:37:57,386 --> 00:37:59,387
I never forget a pussy...

703
00:37:59,455 --> 00:38:00,554
Cat.

704
00:38:02,958 --> 00:38:06,211
Oh, no. He's gone away.

705
00:38:07,929 --> 00:38:09,731
My God, Vanessa,

706
00:38:09,798 --> 00:38:12,433
you are so incredibly beautiful.

707
00:38:13,352 --> 00:38:14,319
Oh...

708
00:38:14,387 --> 00:38:15,653
That's it...Yes...

709
00:38:15,721 --> 00:38:16,804
Yes...Yes...

710
00:38:16,872 --> 00:38:18,339
Come on, darling,

711
00:38:18,407 --> 00:38:21,809
I'm gonna take you out
for a night on the town.

712
00:38:21,877 --> 00:38:23,861
[Piano plays]

713
00:38:32,171 --> 00:38:35,306
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Burt bacharach.

714
00:38:35,374 --> 00:38:37,909
♪ What the world

715
00:38:37,976 --> 00:38:39,944
♪ needs now

716
00:38:40,012 --> 00:38:41,712
♪ is love

717
00:38:41,780 --> 00:38:44,249
♪ sweet love

718
00:38:44,316 --> 00:38:47,218
♪ no, not just for some

719
00:38:47,286 --> 00:38:51,156
♪ but everyone

720
00:38:51,223 --> 00:38:53,741
♪ what the world

721
00:38:53,809 --> 00:38:55,910
♪ needs now

722
00:38:55,978 --> 00:38:57,678
♪ is love

723
00:38:57,746 --> 00:39:00,214
♪ sweet love

724
00:39:00,282 --> 00:39:04,585
♪ no, not just for some ♪

725
00:39:04,653 --> 00:39:06,421
♪ but for...

726
00:39:06,488 --> 00:39:12,493
[Up tempo] ♪ everyone

727
00:39:38,737 --> 00:39:39,303
oh, yeah.

728
00:39:39,371 --> 00:39:40,671
Oh, go on, Austin, get on with it.

729
00:39:40,739 --> 00:39:41,672
I'm gonna do it...

730
00:39:41,740 --> 00:39:43,006
Do it a bit.

731
00:39:43,074 --> 00:39:46,410
Oh, go on...Yes!

732
00:39:46,478 --> 00:39:47,411
Oh...

733
00:39:47,479 --> 00:39:49,146
Right hand green!

734
00:39:49,214 --> 00:39:51,649
Oh, no, no... Aah!

735
00:39:53,818 --> 00:39:55,686
You all right?

736
00:39:55,754 --> 00:39:57,321
You all right? Oh, you know what?

737
00:39:57,389 --> 00:39:59,741
Wait a tick. I forgot
something in the lobby.

738
00:40:01,042 --> 00:40:03,844
Why don't I take the stairs?

739
00:40:07,682 --> 00:40:11,785
Why take the stairs when
I could take the escalator?

740
00:40:16,425 --> 00:40:20,694
Why take the escalator when
I've got a perfectly good canoe?

741
00:40:20,762 --> 00:40:23,597
Ha ha ha!

742
00:40:23,665 --> 00:40:24,932
I know
what--

743
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,867
I'll take the elevator.

744
00:40:31,106 --> 00:40:32,073
Austin.

745
00:40:32,141 --> 00:40:33,207
Yes?

746
00:40:33,275 --> 00:40:36,110
Come have some champagne with me.

747
00:40:36,178 --> 00:40:37,762
Ok.

748
00:40:37,829 --> 00:40:40,331
Oh, I tripped. Oh...

749
00:40:40,399 --> 00:40:42,833
You know, I haven't had
this much fun since college.

750
00:40:42,901 --> 00:40:44,435
Well, I'm sorry.

751
00:40:44,503 --> 00:40:45,670
Why?

752
00:40:45,737 --> 00:40:48,923
I'm sorry that bug up
your ass had to die.

753
00:40:52,327 --> 00:40:54,028
Always wanting to have fun, Austin.

754
00:40:54,096 --> 00:40:55,596
That's you in a nutshell.

755
00:40:55,664 --> 00:40:56,931
<i>No. This is me in a nutshell.</i>

756
00:40:56,998 --> 00:40:58,832
Help! I'm in a nutshell!

757
00:40:58,900 --> 00:41:01,169
How did I get into this nutshell?

758
00:41:01,236 --> 00:41:03,371
Look at the size of this
bloody great big nutsh--

759
00:41:03,439 --> 00:41:06,140
what sort of shell
has a nut like this?

760
00:41:06,208 --> 00:41:08,242
This is crazy.

761
00:41:08,310 --> 00:41:10,178
Yes. Look at you.

762
00:41:10,245 --> 00:41:11,412
No.

763
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:12,447
You're smashed.

764
00:41:12,514 --> 00:41:13,414
No, I'm not.

765
00:41:13,482 --> 00:41:14,415
Yes, you are.

766
00:41:14,483 --> 00:41:15,616
No, I'm not. I'm the sensible one.

767
00:41:15,684 --> 00:41:18,519
I'm always the designated driver.

768
00:41:20,889 --> 00:41:21,922
Oh, kiss me.

769
00:41:21,990 --> 00:41:23,091
I can't, darling.

770
00:41:23,158 --> 00:41:24,058
Why not?

771
00:41:24,126 --> 00:41:25,460
'Cause you're drunk.
It's not right.

772
00:41:25,527 --> 00:41:26,427
No, I'm not drunk.

773
00:41:26,495 --> 00:41:27,695
I'm just beginning to see

774
00:41:27,762 --> 00:41:29,863
what my mummy was talking
about all those years ago.

775
00:41:29,931 --> 00:41:31,365
I can't.

776
00:41:31,433 --> 00:41:33,534
Ohh...

777
00:41:33,602 --> 00:41:34,569
All right, well,

778
00:41:34,636 --> 00:41:36,237
tell me all about my
mummy in the sixties.

779
00:41:36,305 --> 00:41:37,972
I'm dying to know
what she was like.

780
00:41:38,974 --> 00:41:41,442
She was very groovy.

781
00:41:44,279 --> 00:41:46,847
Your dad loved her very much.

782
00:41:49,251 --> 00:41:51,352
If there was one
other cat in this world

783
00:41:51,420 --> 00:41:52,520
that could have loved her

784
00:41:52,588 --> 00:41:55,055
and treated her as
well as your dad,

785
00:41:55,124 --> 00:41:58,058
well, it was me.

786
00:41:58,127 --> 00:42:00,428
But unfortunately...

787
00:42:00,496 --> 00:42:02,196
For yours truly...

788
00:42:05,434 --> 00:42:07,535
That train has sailed.

789
00:42:11,773 --> 00:42:13,508
Vanessa?

790
00:42:13,575 --> 00:42:16,244
Vanessa, hello?

791
00:42:16,311 --> 00:42:18,179
Come on, roll over.

792
00:42:18,247 --> 00:42:19,747
Sleepytime.

793
00:42:21,250 --> 00:42:24,902
[Musical beeping]

794
00:42:24,969 --> 00:42:26,404
Ok, Austin needs his hand back.

795
00:42:26,471 --> 00:42:28,406
[Musical beeping]

796
00:42:30,075 --> 00:42:32,760
[Musical beeping]

797
00:42:32,827 --> 00:42:34,996
[Telephone speed dials]

798
00:42:35,063 --> 00:42:36,314
Computer: You've got mail!

799
00:42:37,399 --> 00:42:38,899
Hello, Austin.

800
00:42:38,967 --> 00:42:41,619
This is basil exposition
from British intelligence.

801
00:42:41,686 --> 00:42:43,787
Now, I want you to find out

802
00:42:43,855 --> 00:42:48,292
what part virtucon plays in
something called project vulcan.

803
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:51,695
I'll need you to go to alotta
fagina's penthouse immediately.

804
00:43:08,096 --> 00:43:09,397
Ahh...

805
00:43:19,775 --> 00:43:21,241
Hello, hello.

806
00:43:22,394 --> 00:43:23,995
[Click click]

807
00:43:26,564 --> 00:43:28,215
Yes, yes, ok, great.

808
00:43:32,153 --> 00:43:34,087
Project vulcan.

809
00:43:34,155 --> 00:43:36,223
Yeah, ok.

810
00:43:36,291 --> 00:43:37,675
Cheeky, huh? Yeah.

811
00:43:37,742 --> 00:43:39,343
Come on, baby, give it to me.

812
00:43:39,411 --> 00:43:40,661
Yes, yes, yes,

813
00:43:40,729 --> 00:43:42,062
no, no!

814
00:43:42,130 --> 00:43:43,514
[Footsteps]

815
00:43:49,487 --> 00:43:51,439
You seem surprised to see me,

816
00:43:51,506 --> 00:43:53,057
miss fagina.

817
00:43:53,125 --> 00:43:57,862
What do you want,
Mr...Cunningham, was it?

818
00:43:57,930 --> 00:44:00,698
Your boss--
Number Two--

819
00:44:00,765 --> 00:44:05,937
I understand that cat's involved
in big underground drills.

820
00:44:06,004 --> 00:44:07,939
How did you know?

821
00:44:08,006 --> 00:44:09,756
I didn't, baby.

822
00:44:09,824 --> 00:44:12,159
You just told me.

823
00:44:12,227 --> 00:44:14,761
We can talk about business later.

824
00:44:14,829 --> 00:44:17,531
Let me slip into
something more comfortable.

825
00:44:17,599 --> 00:44:19,700
Oh, behave.

826
00:44:19,767 --> 00:44:22,002
♪ The look

827
00:44:22,070 --> 00:44:24,105
♪ of love

828
00:44:24,172 --> 00:44:26,607
♪ is in

829
00:44:26,674 --> 00:44:29,477
♪ your eyes

830
00:44:29,544 --> 00:44:30,478
♪ a look

831
00:44:30,545 --> 00:44:32,045
good God.

832
00:44:32,113 --> 00:44:34,098
♪ Your smile

833
00:44:34,165 --> 00:44:37,485
♪ can't disguise

834
00:44:39,254 --> 00:44:41,873
♪ the look

835
00:44:41,940 --> 00:44:45,192
♪ of love

836
00:44:45,260 --> 00:44:48,846
♪ it says so much more

837
00:44:48,914 --> 00:44:53,351
♪ than words could ever say ♪

838
00:44:55,637 --> 00:44:58,739
♪ and what my heart has heard ♪

839
00:44:58,806 --> 00:45:03,427
♪ well, it takes
my breath away ♪

840
00:45:03,495 --> 00:45:06,897
♪ I can hardly
wait to hold you ♪

841
00:45:06,965 --> 00:45:09,533
♪ feel my arms around you ♪

842
00:45:09,601 --> 00:45:11,302
Come in...

843
00:45:11,370 --> 00:45:14,355
And I'll show you
everything you need to know.

844
00:45:14,422 --> 00:45:16,223
♪ You've got that
look of love ♪

845
00:45:16,291 --> 00:45:18,509
♪ that's in

846
00:45:18,576 --> 00:45:20,961
♪ your face

847
00:45:22,597 --> 00:45:26,167
♪ and what my heart has heard ♪

848
00:45:26,234 --> 00:45:30,654
♪ well, it takes
my breath away ♪

849
00:45:30,722 --> 00:45:34,358
♪ I can hardly
wait to hold you ♪

850
00:45:34,426 --> 00:45:37,661
♪ feel my arms around you ♪

851
00:45:37,729 --> 00:45:40,932
♪ you've got the look

852
00:45:40,999 --> 00:45:43,167
♪ of love

853
00:45:43,235 --> 00:45:45,403
♪ it's on your face

854
00:45:45,470 --> 00:45:47,571
may I wash you?

855
00:45:47,639 --> 00:45:50,041
Oh, groovy, baby.

856
00:46:00,352 --> 00:46:02,987
Mm, yes...

857
00:46:03,055 --> 00:46:07,624
That feels yummy. Ha ha. Mm...

858
00:46:12,564 --> 00:46:15,466
In Japan, men come first

859
00:46:15,534 --> 00:46:17,768
and women come second.

860
00:46:17,836 --> 00:46:20,170
Or sometimes not at all.

861
00:46:23,041 --> 00:46:25,743
Care for some sake?

862
00:46:25,811 --> 00:46:28,045
Sake it to me, baby.

863
00:46:31,450 --> 00:46:32,383
Yes.

864
00:46:32,451 --> 00:46:34,218
Kinky.

865
00:46:34,285 --> 00:46:35,386
Klinky.

866
00:46:42,427 --> 00:46:43,861
Ooh...

867
00:46:43,928 --> 00:46:44,928
Ohh...

868
00:46:44,996 --> 00:46:47,698
How do you feel, Mr. Cunningham?

869
00:46:47,766 --> 00:46:52,202
Mm, I feel extreme relaxation.

870
00:46:54,506 --> 00:46:55,606
Oh...

871
00:46:57,576 --> 00:47:00,310
How dare you break wind before me?

872
00:47:00,379 --> 00:47:03,447
I'm sorry, baby. I didn't
know it was your turn.

873
00:47:07,118 --> 00:47:08,452
Pardon me for being rude.

874
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,153
It was not me. It was my food.

875
00:47:10,221 --> 00:47:11,622
It just popped up to say hello,

876
00:47:11,690 --> 00:47:14,358
and now it's gone back down below.

877
00:47:14,426 --> 00:47:16,126
That's beautiful.

878
00:47:16,194 --> 00:47:17,261
Thank you.

879
00:47:18,630 --> 00:47:20,230
Let's make love,

880
00:47:20,298 --> 00:47:24,902
you silly, hairy, little man.

881
00:47:24,969 --> 00:47:27,170
I say! Hello, vicar.

882
00:47:28,573 --> 00:47:32,510
Ooh. That's the spot, all right.

883
00:47:32,577 --> 00:47:36,297
That's the spot right there.
Look at that, now. Good God.

884
00:47:41,019 --> 00:47:44,338
Austin Powers is getting too close.

885
00:47:44,406 --> 00:47:45,923
Any suggestions?

886
00:47:45,990 --> 00:47:47,507
<i>Jawohl, herr doctor.</i>

887
00:47:47,575 --> 00:47:49,710
I have created the ultimate weapon

888
00:47:49,778 --> 00:47:52,646
to defeat Austin Powers.

889
00:47:53,715 --> 00:47:56,516
Bring in the fembots!

890
00:47:56,584 --> 00:47:59,687
<i>[These boots are made
for walkin' plays]</i>

891
00:48:05,259 --> 00:48:06,927
♪ You keep sayin'

892
00:48:06,995 --> 00:48:09,830
♪ you've got
something for me... ♪

893
00:48:11,616 --> 00:48:13,050
Go, fembots!

894
00:48:13,117 --> 00:48:15,803
♪ ...but confess...

895
00:48:15,870 --> 00:48:20,074
These are the latest word in
android replicant technology.

896
00:48:20,141 --> 00:48:22,710
Lethal, efficient,

897
00:48:22,777 --> 00:48:24,144
brutal.

898
00:48:24,212 --> 00:48:26,980
No man can resist their charm.

899
00:48:27,048 --> 00:48:28,449
Send in the guards!

900
00:48:28,516 --> 00:48:31,652
♪ These boots are
made for walkin' ♪

901
00:48:31,720 --> 00:48:33,153
♪ and that's just
what they'll do ♪

902
00:48:33,221 --> 00:48:35,656
Frau: Kill these women.

903
00:48:35,724 --> 00:48:39,426
♪ These boots are gonna
walk all over you ♪

904
00:48:45,166 --> 00:48:47,267
♪ are ya ready, boots?

905
00:48:47,335 --> 00:48:48,119
[Meow]

906
00:48:48,186 --> 00:48:49,653
♪ Start walkin'

907
00:48:59,698 --> 00:49:01,699
quite impressive.

908
00:49:01,766 --> 00:49:04,502
Thank you, herr doctor.

909
00:49:04,569 --> 00:49:09,239
I like to see girls
of that...Caliber.

910
00:49:13,277 --> 00:49:14,712
By caliber, of course,

911
00:49:14,779 --> 00:49:17,314
I mean both the size
of their gun barrels

912
00:49:17,382 --> 00:49:19,383
and the high quality
of their character.

913
00:49:19,450 --> 00:49:20,384
It's 2 meanings.

914
00:49:20,451 --> 00:49:23,888
Caliber--it's
a homonym.

915
00:49:26,858 --> 00:49:27,925
Forget it.

916
00:49:31,546 --> 00:49:32,946
At ease, boys.

917
00:49:34,849 --> 00:49:38,752
Austin, I want to
show you something.

918
00:49:38,820 --> 00:49:40,721
We're going to
outfit you with this.

919
00:49:40,788 --> 00:49:41,872
It looks like a watch,

920
00:49:41,939 --> 00:49:45,775
but in fact it's a
geosynchronous positioning device.

921
00:49:45,843 --> 00:49:47,211
Very shagadelic.

922
00:49:47,278 --> 00:49:50,080
And then there's this.

923
00:49:50,148 --> 00:49:51,448
Ok, let me guess.

924
00:49:51,516 --> 00:49:52,850
The floss is garrote wire,

925
00:49:52,917 --> 00:49:56,353
the toothpaste is
plastic explosives,

926
00:49:56,421 --> 00:49:59,590
and the toothbrush is
the detonation device.

927
00:49:59,657 --> 00:50:00,991
No, actually.

928
00:50:01,058 --> 00:50:02,993
Well, since you've been frozen,

929
00:50:03,060 --> 00:50:04,528
there have been fabulous advances

930
00:50:04,596 --> 00:50:05,929
in the field of dentistry.

931
00:50:05,997 --> 00:50:08,231
W-what do you mean?

932
00:50:08,299 --> 00:50:09,533
Nothing.

933
00:50:09,601 --> 00:50:11,618
Oh, look, here's basil.

934
00:50:11,686 --> 00:50:12,586
Hello, exposition.

935
00:50:12,654 --> 00:50:13,620
Austin.

936
00:50:13,688 --> 00:50:15,956
Let me bring you up to speed.

937
00:50:16,024 --> 00:50:18,859
Dr. Evil has hijacked
a nuclear warhead

938
00:50:18,927 --> 00:50:20,161
from kreplachistan.

939
00:50:20,228 --> 00:50:22,229
Only 2 things scare me,

940
00:50:22,297 --> 00:50:24,531
and one is nuclear war.

941
00:50:24,599 --> 00:50:25,800
What's the other?

942
00:50:25,867 --> 00:50:26,834
Excuse me?

943
00:50:26,902 --> 00:50:28,535
What's the other
thing that scares you?

944
00:50:29,504 --> 00:50:30,871
Carnies.

945
00:50:30,939 --> 00:50:31,906
What?

946
00:50:31,973 --> 00:50:33,407
Circus folk.

947
00:50:33,474 --> 00:50:34,741
Nomads, you know.

948
00:50:34,810 --> 00:50:36,576
Smell like cabbage.

949
00:50:36,644 --> 00:50:38,378
Small hands.

950
00:50:38,446 --> 00:50:40,981
Oh...Indeed.

951
00:50:41,049 --> 00:50:43,651
Perhaps these photographs are
the last piece of the puzzle.

952
00:50:43,718 --> 00:50:44,718
Aha.

953
00:50:44,786 --> 00:50:47,070
I've uncovered the
details of project vulcan.

954
00:50:47,138 --> 00:50:50,106
Oh, good God. An
underground missile?

955
00:50:50,174 --> 00:50:51,825
Austin, where did you find these?

956
00:50:51,893 --> 00:50:54,027
Austin did some
reconnaissance work last night

957
00:50:54,095 --> 00:50:56,597
at Alotta Fagina's penthouse.

958
00:50:56,665 --> 00:50:57,665
Oh.

959
00:50:57,732 --> 00:51:01,101
Our next move is to
infiltrate virtucon.

960
00:51:01,169 --> 00:51:03,437
Any ideas?

961
00:51:03,505 --> 00:51:04,638
Oh, yes.

962
00:51:04,706 --> 00:51:07,808
Virtucon runs a tour of
its facility every hour.

963
00:51:07,875 --> 00:51:10,777
I thought perhaps we could
disguise ourselves as tourists

964
00:51:10,845 --> 00:51:13,380
and do some onsite reconnaissance.

965
00:51:13,448 --> 00:51:15,115
Top drawer, Kensington.

966
00:51:15,183 --> 00:51:18,952
Oh, uh, Austin, I'd like
you to meet somebody.

967
00:51:19,020 --> 00:51:20,521
This is
my mother--

968
00:51:20,589 --> 00:51:21,988
Mrs. exposition.

969
00:51:22,056 --> 00:51:23,957
How do you do?

970
00:51:24,742 --> 00:51:26,109
Vanessa: Austin!

971
00:51:27,178 --> 00:51:28,879
My God, man, what have you done?

972
00:51:28,947 --> 00:51:32,115
That's not your mother.
It's a man, baby!

973
00:51:32,183 --> 00:51:33,951
Get off! Get off! Come on!

974
00:51:34,018 --> 00:51:36,587
Why won't this wig come off?!

975
00:51:36,654 --> 00:51:38,088
Uhh! Uhh!

976
00:51:38,155 --> 00:51:39,089
Austin!

977
00:51:39,156 --> 00:51:40,557
Yeah, hold on. Hold on one second.

978
00:51:40,625 --> 00:51:42,425
No, no. Let go of my mother!

979
00:51:42,494 --> 00:51:44,294
Oh...Oh, mother.

980
00:51:44,362 --> 00:51:45,562
Mother, are you all right?

981
00:51:45,630 --> 00:51:47,798
Austin, have you gone mad?

982
00:51:47,866 --> 00:51:49,032
No.

983
00:51:49,100 --> 00:51:51,568
You have a lot of explaining to do.

984
00:51:51,636 --> 00:51:54,371
I'm sorry, basil. I
thought she was a man.

985
00:51:54,438 --> 00:51:57,140
Damn it, man, you're
talking about my mother!

986
00:51:57,208 --> 00:51:59,009
Well, you have to admit,
she is rather mannish.

987
00:51:59,076 --> 00:52:00,010
Austin!

988
00:52:00,077 --> 00:52:01,044
Well, no offense,

989
00:52:01,112 --> 00:52:02,412
but if that is a woman,

990
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:05,682
it does look like she was
beaten with an ugly stick.

991
00:52:05,750 --> 00:52:07,784
Really, Austin.

992
00:52:12,590 --> 00:52:17,961
Ok, give in to the beauty of
your feelings and say the words.

993
00:52:18,029 --> 00:52:19,629
Come on.

994
00:52:19,697 --> 00:52:22,616
I love you, dad.

995
00:52:22,683 --> 00:52:26,320
I love you, too, son.

996
00:52:30,574 --> 00:52:32,209
Ok, group,

997
00:52:32,276 --> 00:52:34,327
we have some newcomers
here today with us.

998
00:52:34,395 --> 00:52:39,366
Say hello to Scott and
his father Mr. avil?

999
00:52:39,433 --> 00:52:41,902
Evil, actually.

1000
00:52:43,972 --> 00:52:47,107
Dr. Evil.

1001
00:52:47,175 --> 00:52:50,777
All: Hello, Dr. Evil. Hello, Scott.

1002
00:52:50,845 --> 00:52:52,479
Hello, everybody.

1003
00:52:52,546 --> 00:52:53,947
So, Scott, why don't
we start with you?

1004
00:52:54,015 --> 00:52:57,384
What brings you here with us today?

1005
00:52:57,451 --> 00:52:59,303
Well, I just really met my dad

1006
00:52:59,371 --> 00:53:00,737
for the first time 5 days ago.

1007
00:53:00,805 --> 00:53:03,607
I was partially
frozen his whole life.

1008
00:53:03,674 --> 00:53:05,659
That is beautiful

1009
00:53:05,726 --> 00:53:07,928
that you can admit to that.

1010
00:53:07,996 --> 00:53:08,812
He comes back,

1011
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,115
and now he wants me to take
over the family business.

1012
00:53:11,182 --> 00:53:14,684
But, Scott, who's going to
take over the world when I die?

1013
00:53:14,752 --> 00:53:16,553
Listen to the
words he used--

1014
00:53:16,621 --> 00:53:19,406
"who's going to take over
the world when I die?"

1015
00:53:19,474 --> 00:53:23,710
It feels like that to some
of us sometimes, doesn't it?

1016
00:53:23,778 --> 00:53:26,813
<i>So what do you want to do, Scott?</i>

1017
00:53:26,881 --> 00:53:27,514
I don't know.

1018
00:53:27,581 --> 00:53:30,150
I was thinking I like animals.

1019
00:53:30,218 --> 00:53:31,185
Maybe I'd be a vet.

1020
00:53:31,252 --> 00:53:32,820
An evil vet?

1021
00:53:32,887 --> 00:53:35,588
No. Maybe, like,
work in a petting zoo.

1022
00:53:35,656 --> 00:53:37,524
An evil petting zoo?

1023
00:53:37,591 --> 00:53:39,226
You always do that!

1024
00:53:41,696 --> 00:53:44,064
I just think, like, he hates me.

1025
00:53:44,132 --> 00:53:46,433
I really think he wants to kill me.

1026
00:53:46,500 --> 00:53:49,553
Now, Scott, we don't want
to kill each other in here.

1027
00:53:49,620 --> 00:53:51,521
We might say that we do sometimes,

1028
00:53:51,589 --> 00:53:54,023
but we really don't.

1029
00:53:54,092 --> 00:53:55,758
Actually, the boy's quite astute.

1030
00:53:55,826 --> 00:53:57,861
I really am trying to kill him,

1031
00:53:57,929 --> 00:54:00,164
but so far, unsuccessfully.

1032
00:54:00,231 --> 00:54:02,899
He's quite wily like his old man.

1033
00:54:04,669 --> 00:54:07,571
This is what I'm talking about.

1034
00:54:07,638 --> 00:54:10,574
Ok, well, we've
heard from you, Scott.

1035
00:54:10,641 --> 00:54:14,344
Now, uh, you tell us
something about yourself.

1036
00:54:14,412 --> 00:54:17,531
The details of my life
are quite inconsequential.

1037
00:54:17,599 --> 00:54:19,082
Oh, no, please, please.

1038
00:54:19,150 --> 00:54:20,917
Let's hear about your childhood.

1039
00:54:20,985 --> 00:54:22,819
Yeah. Come on.

1040
00:54:25,373 --> 00:54:26,773
Very well.

1041
00:54:26,841 --> 00:54:28,808
Where do I begin?

1042
00:54:28,876 --> 00:54:31,978
My father was a
relentlessly self-improving

1043
00:54:32,046 --> 00:54:33,780
<i>boulangerie owner from Belgium</i>

1044
00:54:33,848 --> 00:54:37,117
with low-grade narcolepsy
and a penchant for buggery.

1045
00:54:37,285 --> 00:54:42,990
My mother was a 15-year-old French
prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

1046
00:54:43,057 --> 00:54:45,859
My father would
womanize, he would drink.

1047
00:54:45,926 --> 00:54:47,894
He would make outrageous claims

1048
00:54:47,962 --> 00:54:50,364
like he invented the question mark.

1049
00:54:50,431 --> 00:54:54,334
Sometimes he would accuse
chestnuts of being lazy,

1050
00:54:54,402 --> 00:55:01,174
the sort of general malaise that only
the genius possess and the insane lament.

1051
00:55:01,242 --> 00:55:03,377
My childhood was typical.

1052
00:55:03,444 --> 00:55:06,880
Summers in rangoon, luge lessons.

1053
00:55:06,947 --> 00:55:10,083
In the spring, we'd
make meat helmets.

1054
00:55:10,151 --> 00:55:15,589
When I was insolent, I was placed in
a burlap bag and beaten with reeds.

1055
00:55:15,657 --> 00:55:17,557
Pretty standard, really.

1056
00:55:17,625 --> 00:55:20,244
At the age of 12, I
received my first scribe.

1057
00:55:20,311 --> 00:55:22,079
At the age of 14,

1058
00:55:22,147 --> 00:55:25,982
a zoroastrian named vilma
ritualistically shaved my testicles.

1059
00:55:26,051 --> 00:55:28,985
There really is nothing
like a shorn scrotum.

1060
00:55:29,054 --> 00:55:32,322
It's breathtaking.
I suggest you try it.

1061
00:55:32,390 --> 00:55:35,092
You know, we have to stop.

1062
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:38,044
Vanessa: Austin, can
I have a word with you?

1063
00:55:38,112 --> 00:55:40,046
Of course you may, love.

1064
00:55:41,782 --> 00:55:44,184
Look, I know I'm being neurotic,

1065
00:55:44,252 --> 00:55:48,755
but I can't shake off this suspicious
feeling about that Italian secretary.

1066
00:55:48,823 --> 00:55:50,090
You know, miss fagina.

1067
00:55:50,158 --> 00:55:51,992
I don't want to sound paranoid,

1068
00:55:52,060 --> 00:55:54,995
but I've had some bad
relationships in the past,

1069
00:55:55,063 --> 00:55:57,564
and I have been
known to be jealous.

1070
00:55:57,631 --> 00:55:58,531
I'm sorry.

1071
00:55:58,599 --> 00:56:01,034
No. Don't be sorry, baby.

1072
00:56:01,102 --> 00:56:02,819
You're right to be suspicious.

1073
00:56:02,886 --> 00:56:04,621
I shagged her.

1074
00:56:04,689 --> 00:56:05,822
What?

1075
00:56:05,889 --> 00:56:08,725
I shagged her rotten, baby, yeah!

1076
00:56:08,793 --> 00:56:12,362
I don't believe you,
Austin. She was repellent.

1077
00:56:12,430 --> 00:56:14,981
Saucer of milk, table 2. Meowr.

1078
00:56:15,049 --> 00:56:16,483
But did you use protection?

1079
00:56:16,551 --> 00:56:19,386
Of course. I had my 9mm automatic.

1080
00:56:19,454 --> 00:56:22,922
You know I meant
did you use a condom?

1081
00:56:22,990 --> 00:56:26,676
Ha ha ha. Only sailors
use condoms, baby.

1082
00:56:26,744 --> 00:56:27,894
Not in the nineties, Austin.

1083
00:56:27,962 --> 00:56:29,679
Well, they should,
those filthy beggars.

1084
00:56:29,747 --> 00:56:31,081
They go from port to port.

1085
00:56:31,149 --> 00:56:34,318
Vanessa, don't have a thrombo.

1086
00:56:34,385 --> 00:56:36,786
Alotta meant nothing to me.

1087
00:56:36,854 --> 00:56:38,255
Well, it means something to me.

1088
00:56:38,323 --> 00:56:40,790
Austin, if you want us
to have a relationship,

1089
00:56:40,858 --> 00:56:43,594
you have to get it into your
head that times have changed.

1090
00:56:43,661 --> 00:56:46,363
You can't just go off
shagging anybody anymore.

1091
00:56:46,431 --> 00:56:49,682
And if you could, I wouldn't
because I'm not like that.

1092
00:56:49,750 --> 00:56:51,335
Vanessa...

1093
00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:55,255
You're everything to me.

1094
00:56:55,323 --> 00:56:57,790
You just don't get it, do you?

1095
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:01,027
Good night, Austin.

1096
00:57:01,095 --> 00:57:03,129
Welcome to the nineties.

1097
00:57:03,197 --> 00:57:05,766
You're going to be very lonely.

1098
00:57:27,672 --> 00:57:29,540
Hey. Check this guy out.

1099
00:57:31,176 --> 00:57:32,609
Peace. Peace.

1100
00:57:32,677 --> 00:57:34,545
Yeah.

1101
00:57:39,250 --> 00:57:40,400
Jimi Hendrix...

1102
00:57:40,468 --> 00:57:42,536
Deceased...

1103
00:57:42,603 --> 00:57:43,553
Drugs.

1104
00:57:44,622 --> 00:57:45,722
Janis joplin.

1105
00:57:46,990 --> 00:57:48,925
Deceased, alcohol.

1106
00:57:48,992 --> 00:57:50,210
Mama cass.

1107
00:57:50,278 --> 00:57:53,880
Deceased, ham sandwich.

1108
00:58:03,691 --> 00:58:07,126
[Static]

1109
00:58:11,866 --> 00:58:18,037
[Squeaks]

1110
00:58:18,105 --> 00:58:18,922
[Pooshh]

1111
00:58:20,675 --> 00:58:22,075
Astronaut: Oh, gee, that's great.

1112
00:58:22,142 --> 00:58:23,577
Is the lighting halfway decent?

1113
00:58:23,644 --> 00:58:25,479
Announcer: Yes, indeed.
They got the flag up now.

1114
00:58:25,546 --> 00:58:27,296
You can see the stars and stripes.

1115
00:58:27,365 --> 00:58:29,031
Astronaut: Beautiful.
Just beautiful.

1116
00:58:29,099 --> 00:58:32,702
[Crowd chanting]

1117
00:58:34,304 --> 00:58:35,972
Vanessa: Good morning, Austin.

1118
00:58:36,039 --> 00:58:37,974
You know, I sometimes forget

1119
00:58:38,041 --> 00:58:41,644
you've missed out
on the last 30 years.

1120
00:58:41,712 --> 00:58:43,613
Fall of the Berlin wall,

1121
00:58:43,681 --> 00:58:45,615
the first female
British prime minister,

1122
00:58:45,683 --> 00:58:47,617
end of apartheid.

1123
00:58:47,685 --> 00:58:50,620
Yeah, and I can't
believe liberace was gay.

1124
00:58:50,688 --> 00:58:52,655
I mean, women loved him.

1125
00:58:52,723 --> 00:58:55,592
I didn't see that one coming, no.

1126
00:58:55,659 --> 00:58:57,628
Guide: The tour is about to begin,

1127
00:58:57,695 --> 00:59:00,179
so if you'll please
take your seats.

1128
00:59:00,247 --> 00:59:03,049
Welcome to virtucon,
company of the future.

1129
00:59:03,117 --> 00:59:05,218
Virtucon is a leading
manufacturer of many items

1130
00:59:05,286 --> 00:59:07,754
you can find right
in your very own home.

1131
00:59:07,821 --> 00:59:09,672
Do you think she's
prettier than me?

1132
00:59:09,740 --> 00:59:10,640
Who?

1133
00:59:10,708 --> 00:59:12,141
You know who.

1134
00:59:12,209 --> 00:59:13,643
Oh, the Italian bird.

1135
00:59:13,711 --> 00:59:16,145
No, baby. She's rancid.

1136
00:59:16,213 --> 00:59:18,648
I think you're shagadelic, baby.

1137
00:59:18,716 --> 00:59:21,017
You're switched
on. You're smashing.

1138
00:59:21,084 --> 00:59:25,488
We make steel, petroleum
products, and volatile chemicals.

1139
00:59:25,556 --> 00:59:28,692
But don't worry about
the Italian bird, ok?

1140
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:30,694
She's the village bicycle.

1141
00:59:30,762 --> 00:59:33,863
Everyone's had a ride.

1142
00:59:33,931 --> 00:59:38,668
On your right, you'll notice a
door leading to a restricted area.

1143
00:59:38,736 --> 00:59:40,703
Only authorized
personnel are allowed...

1144
00:59:40,771 --> 00:59:41,971
Austin: I'll take him.

1145
00:59:42,039 --> 00:59:43,740
You take her.

1146
00:59:55,536 --> 00:59:56,603
All right.

1147
00:59:58,606 --> 01:00:00,139
Let's go.

1148
01:00:00,207 --> 01:00:03,276
It's Bolton. We've got a problem.

1149
01:00:03,344 --> 01:00:04,578
[Alarm buzzes]

1150
01:00:04,645 --> 01:00:06,680
P.A.: Intruders in the complex.
Intruders in the complex.

1151
01:00:06,747 --> 01:00:07,947
Watch out.

1152
01:00:09,684 --> 01:00:11,451
Guard: Halt. This way.

1153
01:00:11,518 --> 01:00:13,386
Judo chop!

1154
01:00:15,957 --> 01:00:17,791
They're coming!

1155
01:00:17,858 --> 01:00:19,793
Hang on. I'm going to floor it.

1156
01:00:19,860 --> 01:00:21,360
Watch out. Move!

1157
01:00:21,428 --> 01:00:23,229
Move! Move!

1158
01:00:25,550 --> 01:00:26,549
Careful, Austin.

1159
01:00:26,617 --> 01:00:31,304
Nooooo!

1160
01:00:31,371 --> 01:00:32,305
Watch out!

1161
01:00:32,372 --> 01:00:33,306
Watch out!

1162
01:00:33,373 --> 01:00:35,775
Aaaah!

1163
01:00:35,843 --> 01:00:37,026
Watch out!

1164
01:00:37,094 --> 01:00:40,747
Aaaaah!

1165
01:00:40,815 --> 01:00:42,682
Eew. Ohh.

1166
01:00:42,750 --> 01:00:44,851
Let's go. Come on, let's go.

1167
01:00:47,354 --> 01:00:49,623
Oh! Thank goodness
we made it, Austin.

1168
01:00:49,690 --> 01:00:51,891
All right. Stay very cool, baby.

1169
01:00:51,959 --> 01:00:53,093
Ok.

1170
01:01:16,951 --> 01:01:21,955
Mr. Powers, welcome
to my underground lair.

1171
01:01:22,023 --> 01:01:23,923
You're just in time.

1172
01:01:23,991 --> 01:01:26,292
Enjoy the show.

1173
01:01:32,182 --> 01:01:36,202
Gentlemen, I give you the vulcan...

1174
01:01:36,270 --> 01:01:40,273
The world's most powerful
subterranean drill.

1175
01:01:40,340 --> 01:01:42,058
Does that make you horny?

1176
01:01:42,126 --> 01:01:43,527
Not now, Austin.

1177
01:01:43,594 --> 01:01:46,530
So powerful it can
penetrate the earth's crust,

1178
01:01:46,597 --> 01:01:48,532
delivering a 50-kiloton
nuclear warhead

1179
01:01:48,599 --> 01:01:51,568
deep into the liquid
hot core of the planet.

1180
01:01:51,636 --> 01:01:56,773
Upon detonation, every
volcano on earth will erupt.

1181
01:01:56,841 --> 01:01:58,575
[People gasp]

1182
01:01:58,643 --> 01:01:59,459
[All talking]

1183
01:01:59,527 --> 01:02:01,961
It seems we have no choice

1184
01:02:02,029 --> 01:02:03,797
but to pay your ransom.

1185
01:02:03,864 --> 01:02:06,465
You have my instructions. Bye-bye.

1186
01:02:09,336 --> 01:02:10,520
Check it out, butt-head.

1187
01:02:10,588 --> 01:02:13,590
This chick has 3
boobs. Heh heh heh.

1188
01:02:13,657 --> 01:02:16,125
How many butts does she have?

1189
01:02:18,045 --> 01:02:22,915
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

1190
01:02:22,983 --> 01:02:26,419
Do you like your quasi-futuristic
clothes, Mr. Powers?

1191
01:02:26,487 --> 01:02:29,088
I designed them myself.

1192
01:02:41,835 --> 01:02:42,935
Oww!

1193
01:02:44,104 --> 01:02:47,006
Scott! Scott, my boy, how are you?

1194
01:02:47,074 --> 01:02:48,575
How was your day?

1195
01:02:48,642 --> 01:02:49,842
Well, my friend sweet Jay

1196
01:02:49,910 --> 01:02:51,544
took me to that video
arcade in town, right?

1197
01:02:51,612 --> 01:02:53,045
And they don't speak English there,

1198
01:02:53,113 --> 01:02:55,515
so Jay got into a fight, and
he's all, "hey, quit hassling me

1199
01:02:55,583 --> 01:02:57,483
'cause I don't speak
French" or whatever.

1200
01:02:57,551 --> 01:02:59,285
And then the guy says
something in Paris talk,

1201
01:02:59,353 --> 01:03:00,920
and I'm like, "just back off."

1202
01:03:00,987 --> 01:03:02,271
And they're all, "get out."

1203
01:03:02,340 --> 01:03:03,807
And we're like, "make me."

1204
01:03:03,874 --> 01:03:05,442
It was cool.

1205
01:03:06,444 --> 01:03:08,144
Fascinating.

1206
01:03:08,212 --> 01:03:09,946
What are your plans
for this evening?

1207
01:03:10,013 --> 01:03:11,681
I thought I'd stay in.

1208
01:03:11,749 --> 01:03:13,383
There's a good tittie
movie on skinimax.

1209
01:03:13,451 --> 01:03:16,669
And that's how you'd like
to live your life, is it?

1210
01:03:16,737 --> 01:03:17,920
Yeah.

1211
01:03:18,956 --> 01:03:20,423
Pretty much, right.

1212
01:03:20,491 --> 01:03:22,058
Scott: What?

1213
01:03:23,176 --> 01:03:24,227
[Slap]

1214
01:03:24,295 --> 01:03:25,445
Ow!

1215
01:03:28,199 --> 01:03:31,917
Scott, I want you to
meet daddy's Nemesis,

1216
01:03:31,985 --> 01:03:34,420
Austin Powers.

1217
01:03:34,488 --> 01:03:35,988
What, are you feeding him?

1218
01:03:36,056 --> 01:03:37,490
Why don't you just kill him?

1219
01:03:37,558 --> 01:03:41,026
No, Scott. I have
an even better idea.

1220
01:03:41,094 --> 01:03:44,497
I'm going to place him in
an easily escapable situation

1221
01:03:44,565 --> 01:03:47,333
involving an overly
elaborate and exotic death.

1222
01:03:48,902 --> 01:03:50,453
Scott: Why don't you
just shoot him now?

1223
01:03:50,521 --> 01:03:52,622
I mean, I'll go get a gun.
We'll shoot him together.

1224
01:03:52,690 --> 01:03:53,723
It'll be fun. Bang!

1225
01:03:53,791 --> 01:03:54,957
Dead. Done.

1226
01:03:55,025 --> 01:03:57,494
One more peep out of you
and you are grounded, mister,

1227
01:03:57,561 --> 01:03:59,129
and I am not joking.

1228
01:04:02,199 --> 01:04:03,533
All right. Let's begin.

1229
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:08,138
Dr. Evil, do you really
expect them to pay?

1230
01:04:08,205 --> 01:04:10,573
No, Mr. Powers.

1231
01:04:10,641 --> 01:04:14,577
I expect them to die.

1232
01:04:14,645 --> 01:04:16,913
Even after they pay me the money,

1233
01:04:16,980 --> 01:04:22,018
I'm still going to melt every city
on the planet with liquid hot magma.

1234
01:04:23,721 --> 01:04:25,422
Release the sharks!

1235
01:04:25,489 --> 01:04:27,957
Mr. Powers, you'll
notice that all the sharks

1236
01:04:28,025 --> 01:04:30,460
have laser beams
attached to their heads.

1237
01:04:30,528 --> 01:04:33,612
I figure every creature
deserves a warm meal.

1238
01:04:34,882 --> 01:04:38,635
Ahem. Dr. Evil, it's
about the sharks.

1239
01:04:38,702 --> 01:04:43,139
When you were frozen, they were
put on the endangered species list.

1240
01:04:43,206 --> 01:04:45,141
We tried to get some,

1241
01:04:45,208 --> 01:04:48,478
but it would've taken months
to clear up the red tape.

1242
01:04:48,546 --> 01:04:52,148
You know, I have
one simple request,

1243
01:04:52,216 --> 01:04:54,617
and that is to have sharks

1244
01:04:54,685 --> 01:04:57,587
with frickin' laser beams
attached to their heads.

1245
01:04:57,654 --> 01:05:03,275
Now, evidently my cycloptic colleague
informs me that that can't be done.

1246
01:05:03,343 --> 01:05:05,895
Can you remind me what
I pay you people for?

1247
01:05:05,963 --> 01:05:08,665
Honestly, throw me a bone here.

1248
01:05:08,732 --> 01:05:10,282
What do we have?

1249
01:05:10,350 --> 01:05:12,202
Sea bass.

1250
01:05:15,539 --> 01:05:17,707
Right.

1251
01:05:17,774 --> 01:05:20,977
They are mutated sea bass.

1252
01:05:21,044 --> 01:05:24,114
Really? Are they ill-tempered?

1253
01:05:24,181 --> 01:05:24,981
Absolutely.

1254
01:05:25,048 --> 01:05:27,550
That's a start, you know.

1255
01:05:27,618 --> 01:05:32,388
All right, guard, begin the unnecessarily
slow-moving dipping mechanism.

1256
01:05:33,273 --> 01:05:34,240
Oh!

1257
01:05:34,307 --> 01:05:36,609
Close the tank!

1258
01:05:37,328 --> 01:05:39,162
A-aren't you even
going to watch them?

1259
01:05:39,230 --> 01:05:40,730
They could get away.

1260
01:05:40,797 --> 01:05:43,600
No, no, no. I'm going
to leave them alone

1261
01:05:43,667 --> 01:05:45,635
and not actually
witness them dying.

1262
01:05:45,703 --> 01:05:47,604
I'm just going to assume
it all went to plan--what?

1263
01:05:47,671 --> 01:05:50,640
I have a gun in my room.

1264
01:05:50,708 --> 01:05:51,674
You give me 5 seconds, I'll get it.

1265
01:05:51,742 --> 01:05:53,643
I'll come back down here, boom!

1266
01:05:53,711 --> 01:05:55,378
I'll blow their brains out.

1267
01:05:55,445 --> 01:05:56,513
Scott.

1268
01:05:57,414 --> 01:06:00,550
You just don't get it, do you?

1269
01:06:00,618 --> 01:06:01,818
You don't.

1270
01:06:03,654 --> 01:06:04,871
It's no hassle.

1271
01:06:04,938 --> 01:06:05,838
Shh.

1272
01:06:05,906 --> 01:06:07,539
Shh!
But--

1273
01:06:07,607 --> 01:06:09,292
all I'm
say-- shh!

1274
01:06:09,360 --> 01:06:10,676
Shh! They're
gonna get--

1275
01:06:10,744 --> 01:06:11,677
I--
shh!

1276
01:06:11,745 --> 01:06:12,945
Shh!
I'm--

1277
01:06:13,013 --> 01:06:13,946
would--
shh!

1278
01:06:14,014 --> 01:06:15,248
Knock knock. Who's there?

1279
01:06:15,315 --> 01:06:17,116
Shh!

1280
01:06:17,184 --> 01:06:18,117
Shh!
Look--

1281
01:06:18,185 --> 01:06:19,618
let me tell you a little story

1282
01:06:19,686 --> 01:06:21,187
about a man
named--shh!

1283
01:06:21,255 --> 01:06:22,655
Shh! Even before you start,

1284
01:06:22,722 --> 01:06:25,124
that was a preemptive shh!

1285
01:06:25,192 --> 01:06:29,695
Just know that I have a whole
bag of shh! With your name on it.

1286
01:06:32,166 --> 01:06:33,365
Aah!

1287
01:06:34,301 --> 01:06:35,734
What's your plan?

1288
01:06:35,803 --> 01:06:38,838
First, I plan to soil myself.

1289
01:06:38,906 --> 01:06:41,640
Then I'm going to regroup
and come up with a new plan.

1290
01:06:41,708 --> 01:06:43,910
Any thoughts?

1291
01:06:43,977 --> 01:06:45,061
Wait a minute.

1292
01:06:46,163 --> 01:06:49,131
I always have this
with me, just in case.

1293
01:06:49,199 --> 01:06:50,382
Ok. I get it.

1294
01:06:50,450 --> 01:06:52,318
I have bad teeth.

1295
01:06:52,385 --> 01:06:56,505
No, Austin. The floss is to
swing ourselves onto the ledge.

1296
01:06:56,574 --> 01:06:58,107
Ohh!

1297
01:06:58,175 --> 01:06:59,558
All right. Hold on.

1298
01:07:01,728 --> 01:07:04,897
Austin: Got it. Ok. Toothpaste.

1299
01:07:04,965 --> 01:07:05,832
Hello.

1300
01:07:09,753 --> 01:07:10,720
Judo chop!

1301
01:07:10,788 --> 01:07:12,822
Aah!

1302
01:07:12,890 --> 01:07:15,024
Hang on!

1303
01:07:19,145 --> 01:07:20,213
Hoh!

1304
01:07:23,817 --> 01:07:25,317
Judo trip.

1305
01:07:27,571 --> 01:07:28,805
No!

1306
01:07:33,627 --> 01:07:35,294
Eww! Aw!

1307
01:07:35,362 --> 01:07:37,697
Eww!

1308
01:07:38,599 --> 01:07:39,866
[Belch]

1309
01:07:39,933 --> 01:07:43,469
Not a good time to lose one's head.

1310
01:07:43,537 --> 01:07:45,004
Indeed.

1311
01:07:46,072 --> 01:07:48,508
That's not the way
to get ahead in life.

1312
01:07:48,575 --> 01:07:49,675
No.

1313
01:07:50,777 --> 01:07:53,846
It's a shame he
wasn't more headstrong.

1314
01:07:55,015 --> 01:07:57,683
He'll never be the head
of a major corporation.

1315
01:07:57,751 --> 01:07:59,519
Ok. That'll do. Ok.

1316
01:08:05,358 --> 01:08:07,593
Oh, no! What are we gonna do?

1317
01:08:07,660 --> 01:08:10,179
Oh, look. There's an
emergency exit. Go get help.

1318
01:08:10,247 --> 01:08:12,665
I'm gonna stay here and
keep an eye on Dr. Evil.

1319
01:08:12,733 --> 01:08:14,950
Ok. I'll hurry back.

1320
01:08:17,087 --> 01:08:19,489
Listen, Vanessa.

1321
01:08:20,573 --> 01:08:23,542
Whatever happens,
I want you to know

1322
01:08:23,610 --> 01:08:27,679
that I feel really bad
about that Italian bird.

1323
01:08:28,916 --> 01:08:31,150
What I'm trying to say is...

1324
01:08:31,218 --> 01:08:34,686
That if you want me
to be a one-woman man,

1325
01:08:34,754 --> 01:08:37,323
well, that's just groovy, baby.

1326
01:08:37,391 --> 01:08:40,492
Behave.

1327
01:09:17,064 --> 01:09:18,497
Come, everyone.

1328
01:09:18,565 --> 01:09:21,734
Let us repair to the main chamber.

1329
01:09:21,802 --> 01:09:24,870
Project vulcan is about to begin.

1330
01:09:28,108 --> 01:09:31,644
Scott, don't you want to see
what daddy does for a living?

1331
01:09:31,712 --> 01:09:32,645
Blow me.

1332
01:09:32,713 --> 01:09:34,513
Excuse me?

1333
01:09:34,581 --> 01:09:35,648
Show me.

1334
01:09:37,084 --> 01:09:38,383
Ok.

1335
01:09:49,312 --> 01:09:51,914
Dr. Evil: Position the vulcan.

1336
01:10:05,646 --> 01:10:08,147
Dr. Evil: Bring in the warhead.

1337
01:10:21,662 --> 01:10:22,828
Ooh.

1338
01:10:37,044 --> 01:10:38,577
Hello, hello.

1339
01:10:38,645 --> 01:10:40,079
Hello, Mr. Powers.

1340
01:10:40,147 --> 01:10:42,248
Hello, Mr. Powers.
Hello, Mr. Powers.

1341
01:10:42,315 --> 01:10:43,733
Care to have a little fun?

1342
01:10:43,801 --> 01:10:45,601
Care to have a little fun?

1343
01:10:45,669 --> 01:10:46,819
No, actually, I, uh...

1344
01:10:46,887 --> 01:10:48,921
I have to save the world.

1345
01:10:48,989 --> 01:10:50,422
Oh. Oh.

1346
01:10:59,465 --> 01:11:01,967
Is it cold in here?

1347
01:11:18,552 --> 01:11:20,002
Arm the probe.

1348
01:11:33,700 --> 01:11:35,768
Yeah...

1349
01:11:35,836 --> 01:11:36,802
Yeah...

1350
01:11:36,870 --> 01:11:40,272
No! No. No, I've
got to get Dr. Evil.

1351
01:11:40,340 --> 01:11:42,775
I've got to get Dr. Evil.

1352
01:11:42,843 --> 01:11:45,778
No, no, no. Um, baseball,
uh, cold showers.

1353
01:11:45,846 --> 01:11:47,279
Baseball. Cold showers.

1354
01:11:47,347 --> 01:11:49,281
Give it up, Mr. Powers.

1355
01:11:49,349 --> 01:11:51,784
Margaret Thatcher
naked on a cold day.

1356
01:11:51,852 --> 01:11:54,519
Margaret Thatcher
naked on a cold day.

1357
01:11:54,587 --> 01:11:55,421
Man: Right up positions.

1358
01:11:55,489 --> 01:11:56,555
Vanessa: Gentlemen.

1359
01:12:00,861 --> 01:12:02,261
Let's lock and load.

1360
01:12:02,328 --> 01:12:05,531
Man: Right, lads. Hup,
hup, hup, move, move, move!

1361
01:12:05,599 --> 01:12:06,616
Don't go.

1362
01:12:06,683 --> 01:12:08,384
Stay with us. Don't go.

1363
01:12:08,452 --> 01:12:09,284
Please don't go.

1364
01:12:09,352 --> 01:12:11,721
You can't resist us, Mr. Powers.

1365
01:12:11,788 --> 01:12:14,356
You can't resist us, Mr. Powers.

1366
01:12:14,424 --> 01:12:16,258
<i>Au contraire, baby.</i>

1367
01:12:16,326 --> 01:12:19,194
I think you can't resist me.

1368
01:12:19,262 --> 01:12:21,263
Woman: ♪ you're the one

1369
01:12:21,331 --> 01:12:23,766
♪ who makes me come runnin' ♪

1370
01:12:23,833 --> 01:12:28,320
♪ you're the sun
who makes me shine ♪

1371
01:12:28,388 --> 01:12:32,792
♪ when you're around,
I'm always laughing ♪

1372
01:12:32,859 --> 01:12:36,796
♪ I want to make you mine

1373
01:12:36,863 --> 01:12:38,798
♪ I close my eyes

1374
01:12:38,865 --> 01:12:41,233
♪ and see you before me

1375
01:12:41,301 --> 01:12:43,536
♪ I think I would die

1376
01:12:43,603 --> 01:12:45,288
♪ if you were to ignore me

1377
01:12:45,355 --> 01:12:47,022
♪ have a good see

1378
01:12:47,090 --> 01:12:50,326
♪ just how much I adore you ♪

1379
01:12:50,394 --> 01:12:51,661
♪ I'd get down on my knees ♪

1380
01:12:51,728 --> 01:12:54,730
♪ I'd do anything for you

1381
01:12:54,798 --> 01:12:59,302
♪ I don't want anybody else ♪

1382
01:12:59,369 --> 01:13:03,556
♪ when I think about
you, I touch myself ♪

1383
01:13:03,623 --> 01:13:08,126
♪ ah-ah-ah, I don't
want anybody else ♪

1384
01:13:08,194 --> 01:13:12,431
♪ oh, no, oh, no, oh, no

1385
01:13:12,498 --> 01:13:14,216
I want you.

1386
01:13:14,284 --> 01:13:16,468
I don't want anybody else.

1387
01:13:16,536 --> 01:13:18,821
When I think about you,

1388
01:13:18,888 --> 01:13:20,489
I touch myself.

1389
01:13:20,557 --> 01:13:21,890
Ooh.

1390
01:13:22,676 --> 01:13:25,077
♪ I

1391
01:13:25,144 --> 01:13:29,699
♪ I don't want anybody else ♪

1392
01:13:29,766 --> 01:13:33,302
♪ when I think about
you, I touch myself ♪

1393
01:13:33,369 --> 01:13:38,324
♪ ah-ah-ah, I don't
want anybody else ♪

1394
01:13:38,391 --> 01:13:42,094
♪ when I think about
you, I touch myself ♪

1395
01:13:42,162 --> 01:13:44,163
♪ I touch myself

1396
01:13:44,231 --> 01:13:45,931
Austin?

1397
01:13:45,999 --> 01:13:46,932
Vanessa!

1398
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:50,235
Uh, it's not what it seems.

1399
01:13:51,771 --> 01:13:52,905
At ease, boys.

1400
01:13:52,973 --> 01:13:54,173
Likewise.

1401
01:13:55,808 --> 01:13:57,276
Vanessa, I can explain.

1402
01:13:57,344 --> 01:14:00,363
What happened was I broke
in trying to get to Dr. Evil.

1403
01:14:00,430 --> 01:14:03,232
Then all of a sudden,
the fembots came by,

1404
01:14:03,299 --> 01:14:04,800
and smoke started to come
out of their jumblies.

1405
01:14:04,868 --> 01:14:06,769
So I thought I'd
work my mojo, right?

1406
01:14:06,836 --> 01:14:08,437
To counter their mojo.

1407
01:14:08,505 --> 01:14:10,756
We got cross-mojonations, and
their heads started exploding.

1408
01:14:10,824 --> 01:14:14,276
You know, that thing, and I
ended up in my knickers here,

1409
01:14:14,344 --> 01:14:15,411
and then...

1410
01:14:16,413 --> 01:14:18,347
Ok, Austin, I believe you.

1411
01:14:18,415 --> 01:14:19,948
Now, get dressed.

1412
01:14:20,016 --> 01:14:21,800
Smashing, baby.

1413
01:14:22,635 --> 01:14:23,835
Onward, boys.

1414
01:14:27,974 --> 01:14:31,910
Launching the subterranean probe.

1415
01:14:35,198 --> 01:14:38,684
P.A.: Begin initial
surface penetration.

1416
01:14:41,822 --> 01:14:47,326
Subterranean nuclear detonation
in 3 minutes and counting.

1417
01:14:47,394 --> 01:14:49,962
Uhh. Aah!

1418
01:14:56,769 --> 01:14:58,070
Man: Watch out!

1419
01:15:02,042 --> 01:15:03,675
Man: ♪ there's a man who leads

1420
01:15:03,744 --> 01:15:04,676
right front!

1421
01:15:04,745 --> 01:15:06,011
♪ A life of danger

1422
01:15:06,079 --> 01:15:08,230
subterranean nuclear detonation
in 3 minutes and counting.

1423
01:15:08,298 --> 01:15:12,985
♪ To everyone he meets,
he stays a stranger ♪

1424
01:15:13,052 --> 01:15:16,038
♪ every move he makes

1425
01:15:16,106 --> 01:15:19,408
♪ another chance he takes

1426
01:15:19,476 --> 01:15:21,142
oh, I tripped!

1427
01:15:21,210 --> 01:15:22,911
Ow! Ow! Ow!

1428
01:15:22,979 --> 01:15:25,080
Open the frickin' door!

1429
01:15:25,147 --> 01:15:28,734
♪ Secret agent man,
secret agent man ♪

1430
01:15:28,801 --> 01:15:31,653
P.A.: Probe destruction
beginning in...

1431
01:15:31,721 --> 01:15:37,659
♪ They've given you a number
and taken away your name ♪

1432
01:15:37,727 --> 01:15:38,693
Aah!

1433
01:15:38,761 --> 01:15:40,229
P.A.: 6...

1434
01:15:40,296 --> 01:15:41,497
5...

1435
01:15:41,564 --> 01:15:42,764
4...

1436
01:15:42,832 --> 01:15:44,416
3...

1437
01:15:44,484 --> 01:15:45,333
2...

1438
01:15:45,402 --> 01:15:47,536
1...

1439
01:15:47,604 --> 01:15:51,590
Nooooo!

1440
01:15:54,361 --> 01:15:57,963
P.A.: Abort. Abort. Abort.

1441
01:15:58,031 --> 01:16:01,100
[Cheering]

1442
01:16:02,803 --> 01:16:04,203
Now to Dr. Evil.

1443
01:16:05,205 --> 01:16:07,907
Din-din.

1444
01:16:07,974 --> 01:16:10,742
♪ I want chicken,
I want liver ♪

1445
01:16:10,811 --> 01:16:13,545
♪ meow mix, meow
mix, please deliver ♪

1446
01:16:14,447 --> 01:16:17,049
I've got you now, Dr. Evil.

1447
01:16:17,984 --> 01:16:20,585
Well done, Mr. Powers.

1448
01:16:20,653 --> 01:16:24,790
We're not so different, you and I.

1449
01:16:24,858 --> 01:16:27,459
However, isn't it ironic

1450
01:16:27,527 --> 01:16:30,329
that the very things
that you stand for--

1451
01:16:30,396 --> 01:16:34,399
free love,
swinging parties--

1452
01:16:34,467 --> 01:16:37,236
are all now in the nineties

1453
01:16:37,304 --> 01:16:40,672
considered to be...

1454
01:16:40,740 --> 01:16:41,773
Evil?

1455
01:16:41,842 --> 01:16:43,075
No, man.

1456
01:16:43,143 --> 01:16:45,577
What we swingers
were rebelling against

1457
01:16:45,645 --> 01:16:47,546
is uptight squares like you

1458
01:16:47,613 --> 01:16:50,582
whose bag was money
and world domination.

1459
01:16:50,650 --> 01:16:52,051
We were innocent, man.

1460
01:16:52,118 --> 01:16:55,554
If we'd known the consequences
of our sexual liberation,

1461
01:16:55,621 --> 01:16:57,556
we would have done
things differently,

1462
01:16:57,623 --> 01:17:00,059
but the spirit would've
remained the same.

1463
01:17:00,126 --> 01:17:01,560
It's freedom, baby.

1464
01:17:01,627 --> 01:17:02,828
Yeah!

1465
01:17:02,896 --> 01:17:03,963
Face it.

1466
01:17:04,865 --> 01:17:06,265
Freedom failed.

1467
01:17:06,333 --> 01:17:08,533
No, man, freedom didn't fail.

1468
01:17:08,601 --> 01:17:12,571
Right now we've got
freedom and responsibility.

1469
01:17:12,638 --> 01:17:14,773
It's a very groovy time.

1470
01:17:14,841 --> 01:17:18,344
There's nothing more pathetic
than an aging hipster.

1471
01:17:18,411 --> 01:17:21,046
All right, baldy.
Shut your cakehole.

1472
01:17:21,114 --> 01:17:23,582
Come on. Let's go. On your bike.

1473
01:17:23,649 --> 01:17:26,018
Not so fast.

1474
01:17:26,086 --> 01:17:29,521
It seems the tables
have turned, Mr. Powers.

1475
01:17:29,589 --> 01:17:32,157
Go ahead, Austin.
Don't worry about me.

1476
01:17:32,225 --> 01:17:35,160
Hey, I can take my
sega, right, dad?

1477
01:17:35,228 --> 01:17:38,764
It seems the tables have
turned again, Dr. Evil.

1478
01:17:38,831 --> 01:17:40,699
Not really. Kill
the little bastard.

1479
01:17:40,767 --> 01:17:41,800
See what I care.

1480
01:17:41,868 --> 01:17:44,270
But, dad, we just had
a breakthrough in group.

1481
01:17:44,337 --> 01:17:46,805
I had the group
liquidated, you little shit.

1482
01:17:46,873 --> 01:17:48,340
They were insolent.

1483
01:17:48,408 --> 01:17:50,842
I hate you! I hate you!

1484
01:17:50,910 --> 01:17:53,111
I wish I was never
artificially created in a lab.

1485
01:17:53,179 --> 01:17:56,448
Scott, that hurts daddy
when you say that, honestly.

1486
01:17:56,516 --> 01:18:01,153
Ah, Number Two. Your
timing is impeccable.

1487
01:18:01,221 --> 01:18:03,488
Go ahead. Take Mr. Powers away.

1488
01:18:03,556 --> 01:18:05,274
No.

1489
01:18:05,341 --> 01:18:07,059
What?

1490
01:18:07,127 --> 01:18:10,462
Dr. Evil, I've spent
30 years of my life

1491
01:18:10,530 --> 01:18:15,935
turning this two-bit evil empire
into a world-class multinational.

1492
01:18:16,002 --> 01:18:18,703
<i>I was going to have a
cover story in Forbes.</i>

1493
01:18:18,771 --> 01:18:22,524
But, you, like an idiot,
wanted to take over the world.

1494
01:18:22,592 --> 01:18:25,160
And you don't realize
there is no world anymore.

1495
01:18:25,228 --> 01:18:27,128
It's only corporations.

1496
01:18:27,197 --> 01:18:28,797
Silence, Number Two!

1497
01:18:28,864 --> 01:18:29,748
No!

1498
01:18:29,816 --> 01:18:32,751
[Whining] I've had enough
of you pushing me around.

1499
01:18:32,819 --> 01:18:34,119
[Sobbing]

1500
01:18:35,555 --> 01:18:37,056
Mr. Powers...

1501
01:18:37,123 --> 01:18:39,058
I have a business proposition

1502
01:18:39,125 --> 01:18:41,226
you might find very interesting.

1503
01:18:42,329 --> 01:18:44,530
All right. I've had enough.

1504
01:18:44,597 --> 01:18:46,965
Whoa!

1505
01:18:47,033 --> 01:18:49,000
Aah!

1506
01:18:49,068 --> 01:18:50,569
Judo chop!

1507
01:18:51,805 --> 01:18:53,706
[Alarm buzzes]

1508
01:18:53,773 --> 01:18:56,191
P.A.: The complex
will self-destruct.

1509
01:19:01,681 --> 01:19:02,814
Let's split! Let's go!

1510
01:19:05,352 --> 01:19:07,753
This place is gonna blow!

1511
01:19:10,507 --> 01:19:12,558
[People shouting]

1512
01:19:13,409 --> 01:19:15,728
P.A.: The complex
will self-destruct.

1513
01:19:17,831 --> 01:19:19,598
Come on. Let's go.

1514
01:19:22,835 --> 01:19:25,437
P.A.: The complex
will self-destruct.

1515
01:19:26,239 --> 01:19:27,205
This way, Austin.

1516
01:19:27,273 --> 01:19:28,674
Come on, baby! It's gonna blow!

1517
01:19:28,741 --> 01:19:30,742
Let's go. Move it!

1518
01:19:30,810 --> 01:19:33,028
Alley-oop!

1519
01:19:33,095 --> 01:19:37,483
Aag. Ohh!

1520
01:19:37,551 --> 01:19:38,884
Ooooh...

1521
01:19:43,222 --> 01:19:45,607
[Alarm buzzes]

1522
01:19:53,783 --> 01:19:56,218
[Bells chime]

1523
01:19:56,286 --> 01:19:58,353
[Man laughs]

1524
01:20:00,589 --> 01:20:02,057
[Vanessa chuckles]

1525
01:20:02,125 --> 01:20:03,558
[Austin groans]

1526
01:20:03,626 --> 01:20:05,861
Yeah. Mmm.

1527
01:20:07,297 --> 01:20:08,697
[Chuckles]

1528
01:20:08,764 --> 01:20:11,200
I love you, Mr. Powers.

1529
01:20:11,267 --> 01:20:14,870
And I love you, Mrs. Powers.

1530
01:20:16,272 --> 01:20:17,706
[Musical beeping]

1531
01:20:17,773 --> 01:20:19,541
Oh, that'll be basil exposition.

1532
01:20:20,293 --> 01:20:22,227
Oh, ignore it, Austin.
Come back to bed.

1533
01:20:22,295 --> 01:20:24,546
Duty calls, baby.

1534
01:20:27,300 --> 01:20:27,983
[Beep]

1535
01:20:28,051 --> 01:20:29,218
Hello, Austin.

1536
01:20:29,285 --> 01:20:32,771
Oh, I--I hope I'm not
interrupting your honeymoon.

1537
01:20:32,839 --> 01:20:35,474
No, not at all, basil.

1538
01:20:35,542 --> 01:20:37,843
Did you get that fruit
basket I sent you?

1539
01:20:37,911 --> 01:20:40,412
Yes, we did, basil,
but you sent too much.

1540
01:20:40,480 --> 01:20:42,915
I'm gonna have to
send some to my mother.

1541
01:20:42,983 --> 01:20:44,750
Oh, don't forget these.

1542
01:20:44,818 --> 01:20:45,751
Oh, thanks.

1543
01:20:45,819 --> 01:20:47,285
There you go.

1544
01:20:47,353 --> 01:20:49,237
Did you get my other gift?

1545
01:20:49,305 --> 01:20:50,289
We did.

1546
01:20:50,357 --> 01:20:53,659
Yes, basil, nice rack.

1547
01:20:53,727 --> 01:20:56,995
But who in the world
gave us this drawing?

1548
01:20:57,063 --> 01:20:58,297
It's bizarre.

1549
01:20:58,365 --> 01:21:02,251
Well, as you know, Dr. Evil
has escaped in his rocket,

1550
01:21:02,318 --> 01:21:05,270
which has disappeared
from our tracking system.

1551
01:21:05,338 --> 01:21:06,805
Oh, dear, hold on. Coffee?

1552
01:21:06,873 --> 01:21:07,973
Oh, yes, please.

1553
01:21:08,041 --> 01:21:09,341
Ok. Thank you.

1554
01:21:09,408 --> 01:21:11,010
Oh, and Vanessa, by the way,

1555
01:21:11,077 --> 01:21:13,779
you have been made a full agent.

1556
01:21:13,847 --> 01:21:15,964
Oh, that's fantastic,
basil! Thanks.

1557
01:21:16,032 --> 01:21:16,999
Milk?

1558
01:21:17,066 --> 01:21:18,600
Oh, yes, please.

1559
01:21:18,667 --> 01:21:23,405
And, Austin, her majesty the queen
informs me that you are to be knighted.

1560
01:21:23,472 --> 01:21:25,473
Very shagadelic!

1561
01:21:25,541 --> 01:21:27,826
Well, the best of
luck to both of you!

1562
01:21:27,894 --> 01:21:29,177
Thanks, basil.

1563
01:21:29,245 --> 01:21:31,113
Good-bye.

1564
01:21:31,180 --> 01:21:32,330
You know, Vanessa,

1565
01:21:32,398 --> 01:21:35,901
I'll never forget the
first time I saw you.

1566
01:21:35,969 --> 01:21:38,253
You were so incredibly beautiful...

1567
01:21:39,789 --> 01:21:41,840
So incredibly sexy...

1568
01:21:42,942 --> 01:21:44,576
I knew I had to have you.

1569
01:21:45,879 --> 01:21:47,612
Right then and there.

1570
01:21:49,482 --> 01:21:52,284
Did you feel the same way?

1571
01:21:52,351 --> 01:21:54,703
Actually, I couldn't stop
staring at your teeth.

1572
01:21:54,771 --> 01:21:55,737
Oh.

1573
01:21:57,273 --> 01:21:58,240
[Knock on door]

1574
01:21:58,308 --> 01:22:00,608
Oh, I ordered some
champagne. Come in!

1575
01:22:00,676 --> 01:22:02,477
Vanessa: Oh, lovely, Austin.

1576
01:22:02,545 --> 01:22:04,612
Austin: Right over
there's fine. Thank you.

1577
01:22:04,680 --> 01:22:05,280
Let's go out on the terrace.

1578
01:22:05,347 --> 01:22:06,247
It's a beautiful night.

1579
01:22:06,315 --> 01:22:08,349
We can look at the stars.

1580
01:22:08,417 --> 01:22:10,652
Smashing idea, baby, yeah.

1581
01:22:10,720 --> 01:22:11,620
Look at you.

1582
01:22:11,688 --> 01:22:12,888
Yeah.

1583
01:22:12,956 --> 01:22:14,255
[Neck cracks]

1584
01:22:14,323 --> 01:22:15,974
[Gasps] Look out!

1585
01:22:19,361 --> 01:22:21,830
That really hurt!

1586
01:22:21,898 --> 01:22:24,232
I'm going to have a
lump there, you idiot.

1587
01:22:24,300 --> 01:22:27,703
Who throws a shoe? Honestly.

1588
01:22:28,771 --> 01:22:30,839
You fight like a woman.

1589
01:22:32,592 --> 01:22:37,429
Ha!
Ahhhh-ahhhh-ahhhh.

1590
01:22:37,496 --> 01:22:38,513
Grr!

1591
01:22:45,855 --> 01:22:46,705
Austin.

1592
01:22:48,441 --> 01:22:50,876
Honestly, it's not mine.

1593
01:22:50,943 --> 01:22:52,544
No, use it.

1594
01:22:52,612 --> 01:22:54,279
Uhh!

1595
01:22:57,250 --> 01:22:59,118
Uhh!

1596
01:22:59,185 --> 01:23:01,720
Uhh!

1597
01:23:12,232 --> 01:23:13,632
[Crash]

1598
01:23:13,699 --> 01:23:15,433
[Woman screams]

1599
01:23:15,501 --> 01:23:17,619
♪ 'Cause you will
never show... ♪

1600
01:23:17,686 --> 01:23:20,188
Look how beautiful
the night sky is.

1601
01:23:20,256 --> 01:23:22,690
Hey, isn't that the big dipper?

1602
01:23:22,758 --> 01:23:25,960
Yeah, and that looks
just like uranus.

1603
01:23:26,029 --> 01:23:27,129
Austin.

1604
01:23:27,196 --> 01:23:28,497
Well, you know.

1605
01:23:28,564 --> 01:23:30,698
Hey, I've never seen
that big star before.

1606
01:23:30,766 --> 01:23:32,300
Yeah. What is that?

1607
01:23:35,254 --> 01:23:37,605
Austin: Good God.

1608
01:23:41,828 --> 01:23:45,096
I'm gonna get you, Austin Powers.

1609
01:23:45,164 --> 01:23:48,867
It's frickin' freezing
in here, Mr. Bigglesworth.

1610
01:23:48,935 --> 01:23:51,537
[Trembling meow]

1611
01:23:56,142 --> 01:23:57,476
♪ Austin Powers

1612
01:23:57,543 --> 01:24:00,646
♪ he's the man for you

1613
01:24:07,987 --> 01:24:10,289
♪ Austin

1614
01:24:10,356 --> 01:24:13,958
♪ Powers

1615
01:24:18,598 --> 01:24:19,831
darling, you look fabulous.

1616
01:24:19,899 --> 01:24:21,400
Ok, baby.

1617
01:24:21,467 --> 01:24:22,734
All right.

1618
01:24:22,801 --> 01:24:23,501
There we go.

1619
01:24:23,569 --> 01:24:25,687
Look at that face.
Show me. Come on.

1620
01:24:25,755 --> 01:24:27,356
There. Bit of hair, bit of hair.

1621
01:24:27,423 --> 01:24:28,840
Smashing. Ok.

1622
01:24:28,908 --> 01:24:32,043
It's coming around
now. Coming around. Yes.

1623
01:24:32,111 --> 01:24:34,212
Yes. Great. Yes. Yes.

1624
01:24:34,280 --> 01:24:35,797
Yes. No! No!

1625
01:24:35,815 --> 01:24:37,615
No, it's not working!

1626
01:24:37,683 --> 01:24:39,134
Go change. There you go.

1627
01:24:39,202 --> 01:24:41,186
Can you change her? Is
that ok? Is that all right?

1628
01:24:41,254 --> 01:24:42,821
Very good.

1629
01:24:42,888 --> 01:24:43,939
Very good.

1630
01:24:44,006 --> 01:24:45,189
And right here.

1631
01:24:45,257 --> 01:24:47,575
Right here. Looking right there.

1632
01:24:47,643 --> 01:24:49,477
I'm not even looking.

1633
01:24:49,512 --> 01:24:50,812
Oh, you're wicked!

1634
01:24:50,879 --> 01:24:53,898
You got your mojo working
overtime, darling. Yeah.

1635
01:24:53,966 --> 01:24:56,184
Look. I'm not even
shooting it. It's insane.

1636
01:24:56,251 --> 01:24:57,569
Smashing.

1637
01:24:57,637 --> 01:25:00,239
Come on. Can I get a smile?

1638
01:25:00,306 --> 01:25:01,623
Ok, come on.

1639
01:25:01,691 --> 01:25:03,992
Come on, you boys.
Get together. Come on.

1640
01:25:05,344 --> 01:25:06,912
Ok, good. Lovin' it.

1641
01:25:06,979 --> 01:25:08,647
Let's make a Vanessa sandwich.

1642
01:25:08,714 --> 01:25:10,282
The winged horn, the winged horn.

1643
01:25:10,349 --> 01:25:13,201
Come on, Austin.
Give it to me. Go. Go.

1644
01:25:13,269 --> 01:25:15,036
Oh, behave.

1645
01:25:15,104 --> 01:25:17,188
Ok, you're an animal!

1646
01:25:17,256 --> 01:25:18,223
An animal!

1647
01:25:18,291 --> 01:25:20,024
Yes.

1648
01:25:22,778 --> 01:25:23,978
Yes! That's it.

1649
01:25:24,046 --> 01:25:25,246
Yeah. Yeah.

1650
01:25:25,314 --> 01:25:26,698
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1651
01:25:26,766 --> 01:25:28,183
Just the top of the
hair. That's all I want.

1652
01:25:28,251 --> 01:25:29,851
Born and shoot.

1653
01:25:29,919 --> 01:25:31,203
Again. Try it one more time.

1654
01:25:31,271 --> 01:25:33,371
And, um, born and shoot.

1655
01:25:33,439 --> 01:25:35,473
That's it. Yeah.

1656
01:25:35,541 --> 01:25:36,825
Let's go. Come on. Come on.

1657
01:25:36,893 --> 01:25:38,259
Come on!

1658
01:25:38,327 --> 01:25:40,195
Ignore this. Ignore this.

1659
01:25:40,262 --> 01:25:41,479
Ignore me doing this.

1660
01:25:41,547 --> 01:25:43,448
♪ Watch out, someone's
gonna get me ♪

1661
01:25:43,515 --> 01:25:45,200
♪ I know it's never gonna... ♪

1662
01:25:45,267 --> 01:25:46,702
Fabulous, darling.

1663
01:25:46,769 --> 01:25:49,838
♪ That's just the way it
tends to be these days ♪

1664
01:25:49,905 --> 01:25:51,123
♪ I try, it never...

1665
01:25:51,190 --> 01:25:52,874
Go! Go! Go!

1666
01:25:52,959 --> 01:25:54,276
♪ What it gonna get me

1667
01:25:54,344 --> 01:25:58,013
♪ that's just the way it
tends to be these days ♪

1668
01:25:58,081 --> 01:26:00,164
Lord. Lord.

1669
01:26:00,232 --> 01:26:01,716
♪ These days

1670
01:26:01,784 --> 01:26:03,669
♪ these days yes, yes, yes, yes.

1671
01:26:03,736 --> 01:26:05,520
Show me the eye.

1672
01:26:05,587 --> 01:26:07,705
Yes. Yes.

1673
01:26:07,773 --> 01:26:09,841
Yes. No! No! No!

1674
01:26:09,909 --> 01:26:12,794
Never get up. Oh, spit!

1675
01:26:12,829 --> 01:26:14,029
We'll take you... [Camera breaks]

1676
01:26:14,096 --> 01:26:15,563
And we'll go out on the town

1677
01:26:15,631 --> 01:26:18,199
and swing, baby. Yeah.

1678
01:26:24,573 --> 01:26:25,640
♪ Missis

1679
01:26:27,043 --> 01:26:28,309
♪ will ya

1680
01:26:29,711 --> 01:26:31,179
♪ make me tea?

1681
01:26:32,448 --> 01:26:34,916
♪ Make love to me

1682
01:26:34,983 --> 01:26:36,484
♪ put on the telly

1683
01:26:37,786 --> 01:26:39,320
♪ to the BBC

1684
01:26:40,556 --> 01:26:44,159
♪ to the BBC,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

1685
01:26:44,226 --> 01:26:45,360
♪ BBC 1

1686
01:26:45,428 --> 01:26:46,794
♪ BBC 2

1687
01:26:46,862 --> 01:26:48,163
♪ BBC 3

1688
01:26:48,230 --> 01:26:49,297
♪ BBC 4

1689
01:26:49,365 --> 01:26:50,631
♪ BBC 5

1690
01:26:50,699 --> 01:26:51,899
♪ BBC 6

1691
01:26:51,967 --> 01:26:53,501
♪ BBC 7

1692
01:26:53,569 --> 01:26:55,002
♪ BBC heaven

1693
01:26:56,305 --> 01:26:57,605
♪ missis

1694
01:26:58,941 --> 01:27:00,275
♪ will ya

1695
01:27:01,643 --> 01:27:03,111
♪ make me tea?

1696
01:27:04,447 --> 01:27:06,013
♪ Make love to me

1697
01:27:07,349 --> 01:27:09,784
♪ put on the telly

1698
01:27:09,851 --> 01:27:12,103
♪ to the BBC

1699
01:27:12,171 --> 01:27:16,224
♪ to the BBC,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

1700
01:27:16,292 --> 01:27:17,392
♪ BBC 1

1701
01:27:17,460 --> 01:27:18,693
♪ BBC 2

1702
01:27:18,760 --> 01:27:20,095
♪ BBC 3

1703
01:27:20,162 --> 01:27:21,429
♪ BBC 4

1704
01:27:21,497 --> 01:27:22,848
♪ BBC 5

1705
01:27:22,915 --> 01:27:24,215
♪ BBC 6

1706
01:27:24,283 --> 01:27:25,416
♪ BBC 7

1707
01:27:25,485 --> 01:27:26,952
♪ BBC heaven

1708
01:27:50,359 --> 01:27:51,425
♪ missis

1709
01:27:52,561 --> 01:27:54,195
♪ will ya

1710
01:27:55,798 --> 01:27:56,965
♪ make me tea?

1711
01:27:58,433 --> 01:27:59,901
♪ Make love to me

1712
01:28:01,137 --> 01:28:02,837
♪ put on the telly

1713
01:28:03,806 --> 01:28:05,306
♪ to the BBC

1714
01:28:06,508 --> 01:28:10,011
♪ to the BBC,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

1715
01:28:10,079 --> 01:28:11,312
♪ BBC 1

1716
01:28:11,781 --> 01:28:12,697
♪ BBC 2

1717
01:28:12,765 --> 01:28:14,132
♪ BBC 3

1718
01:28:14,200 --> 01:28:15,267
♪ BBC 4

1719
01:28:15,334 --> 01:28:16,734
♪ BBC 5

1720
01:28:16,802 --> 01:28:18,052
♪ BBC 6

1721
01:28:18,120 --> 01:28:19,487
♪ BBC 7

1722
01:28:19,555 --> 01:28:20,855
♪ BBC heaven

1723
01:28:22,057 --> 01:28:23,858
♪ BBC peace

1724
01:28:43,679 --> 01:28:48,349
♪ a thousand thundering
thrills awake me ♪

1725
01:28:48,417 --> 01:28:52,587
♪ facing insurmountable
odds greatly ♪

1726
01:28:52,655 --> 01:28:55,756
♪ the female of the species ♪

1727
01:28:55,824 --> 01:28:58,660
♪ is more deadlier
than the male ♪

1728
01:29:01,397 --> 01:29:03,899
♪ shock, shock,
horror, horror ♪

1729
01:29:03,950 --> 01:29:05,684
♪ shock, shock, horror

1730
01:29:05,751 --> 01:29:07,568
♪ I'll shout myself hoarse

1731
01:29:07,636 --> 01:29:10,121
♪ for your supernatural force ♪

1732
01:29:10,189 --> 01:29:13,224
♪ the female of the species ♪

1733
01:29:13,292 --> 01:29:16,094
♪ is more deadlier
than the male ♪

1734
01:29:18,197 --> 01:29:23,201
♪ oh, she deals
in witchcraft... ♪