1 00:01:00,851 --> 00:01:04,327 2 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:01,105 Goddamn bugs. 3 00:03:21,082 --> 00:03:22,814 Oh, shit! 4 00:03:27,589 --> 00:03:29,178 Oh, crap. 5 00:03:33,528 --> 00:03:35,260 6 00:03:41,369 --> 00:03:44,002 Well, Nick the Dick. What a surprise. 7 00:03:44,105 --> 00:03:45,421 Where you coming from, Nick? 8 00:03:46,107 --> 00:03:48,088 Fishing in Cuernavaca. 9 00:03:48,209 --> 00:03:50,641 Sure you are. Let's take a look at your catch. 10 00:03:51,879 --> 00:03:53,089 Come on. 11 00:04:00,622 --> 00:04:02,460 Me? I would've thrown them back. 12 00:04:08,963 --> 00:04:11,810 What do you get? . 00 bucks a head? 200? 13 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:15,613 Hope you saved it all for your lawyer. You are gonna need it. 14 00:04:20,541 --> 00:04:21,407 We'll take it from here. 15 00:04:21,976 --> 00:04:23,150 Who the hell are you? 16 00:04:23,311 --> 00:04:24,770 I.N.S., Division 6. 17 00:04:24,913 --> 00:04:27,309 Division 6? I never heard of Division 6. 18 00:04:27,415 --> 00:04:28,518 Really? 19 00:04:29,483 --> 00:04:30,657 Who you got your money on, Dee? 20 00:04:31,419 --> 00:04:32,807 Tough call, Kay. 21 00:04:33,955 --> 00:04:36,351 22 00:04:36,457 --> 00:04:38,011 23 00:04:38,759 --> 00:04:40,811 24 00:04:40,929 --> 00:04:43,431 25 00:04:43,998 --> 00:04:46,252 26 00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:48,267 27 00:04:48,603 --> 00:04:50,192 28 00:04:50,504 --> 00:04:51,892 29 00:04:52,273 --> 00:04:53,862 30 00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:55,964 31 00:04:56,844 --> 00:04:59,477 32 00:05:01,782 --> 00:05:04,142 33 00:05:05,954 --> 00:05:08,065 34 00:05:09,290 --> 00:05:10,643 - We've got a winner here. 35 00:05:10,791 --> 00:05:12,320 - Oh, I know. 36 00:05:12,693 --> 00:05:15,018 37 00:05:15,129 --> 00:05:16,683 38 00:05:16,831 --> 00:05:19,084 39 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,266 Sir-- 40 00:05:20,434 --> 00:05:21,963 Don't ''sir'' me, young man. 41 00:05:22,103 --> 00:05:25,092 You have no idea who you're dealing with. 42 00:05:26,741 --> 00:05:29,695 43 00:05:31,045 --> 00:05:33,512 We're going to chat with our friend. You can hit the road. 44 00:05:35,049 --> 00:05:38,690 Keep on protecting us from the dangerous aliens. 45 00:05:42,890 --> 00:05:44,943 You ever hear of Division 6? 46 00:05:45,059 --> 00:05:47,040 There is no Division 6. 47 00:05:47,161 --> 00:05:48,229 - This is bullshit. 48 00:05:48,396 --> 00:05:49,535 - Hell, yeah. 49 00:05:50,998 --> 00:05:54,188 Looks like you fell off the bus in the wrong part of town, amigo. 50 00:05:54,402 --> 00:05:57,391 I'll bet dollars to pesos you're not from anywhere near here. 51 00:06:01,242 --> 00:06:02,558 Mikey? 52 00:06:09,850 --> 00:06:12,246 When did they let you out of jail? 53 00:06:13,454 --> 00:06:15,364 Political refugee. Right. 54 00:06:15,489 --> 00:06:17,814 You know how many treaties you just violated? 55 00:06:18,426 --> 00:06:20,300 - One! - Try seven. 56 00:06:23,264 --> 00:06:24,924 That's enough, Mikey. You hand me that head. 57 00:06:30,604 --> 00:06:32,157 Put up your arms and all your flippers. 58 00:06:44,118 --> 00:06:45,055 Shit. 59 00:06:49,457 --> 00:06:50,880 Shoot him! 60 00:07:21,589 --> 00:07:22,526 That. 61 00:07:25,593 --> 00:07:29,234 Was not human. I know. You got some entrails on you, pal. 62 00:07:30,498 --> 00:07:31,506 What the hell? 63 00:07:31,665 --> 00:07:33,254 The situation's under control. Calm down, please. 64 00:07:33,434 --> 00:07:38,044 Give me your attention for a moment. I'll tell you what happened. 65 00:07:46,614 --> 00:07:49,081 This is called a neuralizer. 66 00:07:49,183 --> 00:07:51,330 It's a gift from some friends from out of town. 67 00:07:51,452 --> 00:07:53,397 This red eye isolates... 68 00:07:53,521 --> 00:07:56,712 the electronic impulses in your brains, specifically memory. 69 00:07:57,191 --> 00:07:59,480 Fellas, give me a splay 70 00:07:59,593 --> 00:08:00,724 burn around the perimeter with holes... 71 00:08:00,724 --> 00:08:04,330 at 40, 60 and 80 meters from right here. Thank you. 72 00:08:09,904 --> 00:08:10,770 Good. Thank you. 73 00:08:11,472 --> 00:08:12,788 - What in the hell is going on? 74 00:08:12,973 --> 00:08:14,562 - Excellent question. 75 00:08:14,708 --> 00:08:17,413 The answer you're looking for lies right here. 76 00:08:20,381 --> 00:08:22,326 Who are you, really? 77 00:08:22,450 --> 00:08:23,316 Really? 78 00:08:24,385 --> 00:08:27,611 I am just a figment of your imagination. 79 00:08:31,826 --> 00:08:33,973 Damn, what a gullible breed. 80 00:08:35,062 --> 00:08:38,775 I'm serious, fellas. You're lucky to be alive after a blast like that. 81 00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:39,734 - What blast? 82 00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:41,524 - The underground gas vein, genius. 83 00:08:41,669 --> 00:08:43,995 You should exercise a lot more caution before firing. 84 00:08:44,239 --> 00:08:46,670 I'll tell you that right now. Especially you. 85 00:08:48,109 --> 00:08:51,134 Have yourselves checked out with E.M.S. before you leave. 86 00:09:03,858 --> 00:09:05,555 I'm sorry about back there. 87 00:09:05,693 --> 00:09:07,046 That happens. 88 00:09:07,194 --> 00:09:08,747 Didn't used to. 89 00:09:10,764 --> 00:09:13,196 The spirit's willing, Kay, but... 90 00:09:14,368 --> 00:09:15,992 the rest of me-- 91 00:09:19,106 --> 00:09:20,804 They're beautiful, aren't they? 92 00:09:20,804 --> 00:09:21,876 What? 93 00:09:21,876 --> 00:09:23,501 The stars. 94 00:09:24,545 --> 00:09:26,692 We never just look anymore. 95 00:09:27,448 --> 00:09:28,587 No. 96 00:09:32,219 --> 00:09:33,951 I'll tell you, Kay... 97 00:09:34,788 --> 00:09:36,724 I will miss the chase. 98 00:09:36,724 --> 00:09:36,961 I will miss the chase. 99 00:09:42,263 --> 00:09:43,129 No, Dee... 100 00:09:44,298 --> 00:09:45,507 you won't. 101 00:09:47,401 --> 00:09:48,859 Freeze! 102 00:09:49,136 --> 00:09:51,152 N.Y.P.D., freeze! 103 00:09:52,574 --> 00:09:53,997 All yours, Edwards. 104 00:09:55,910 --> 00:09:57,570 Freeze means stop! 105 00:10:04,151 --> 00:10:05,645 What the hell? 106 00:10:14,161 --> 00:10:17,043 It just be raining black people in New York. 107 00:10:42,122 --> 00:10:43,819 Do you see this? 108 00:10:43,958 --> 00:10:45,939 N.Y.P.D.! 109 00:10:46,126 --> 00:10:48,866 It means I will knock your punk-ass down! 110 00:10:48,963 --> 00:10:50,387 He's coming! 111 00:10:50,531 --> 00:10:53,485 Yeah, and when he gets here, I'll arrest his ass too. 112 00:10:57,204 --> 00:10:59,635 You trying to catch a beat down? 113 00:12:06,940 --> 00:12:08,150 What's up? 114 00:12:09,777 --> 00:12:11,165 He's coming. 115 00:12:11,378 --> 00:12:14,367 He's coming because I failed. Now he'll kill me. 116 00:12:14,448 --> 00:12:16,844 You pissing everybody off today, huh? 117 00:12:18,552 --> 00:12:20,284 You don't understand. 118 00:12:20,454 --> 00:12:22,707 Your world's going to end. 119 00:12:25,726 --> 00:12:26,971 What the hell are you? 120 00:12:32,901 --> 00:12:34,977 Watch that ledge. Watch it. 121 00:12:35,469 --> 00:12:38,909 Come down. We'll get those eyes fixed. Don't even worry about it. 122 00:12:38,972 --> 00:12:41,226 Wait a minute. Let me talk to you! 123 00:12:48,816 --> 00:12:50,963 I go out. I work my butt off to make a liing. 124 00:12:51,085 --> 00:12:55,255 All I want is to come home to a nice clean house... with a nice fat steak on the table... 125 00:12:55,255 --> 00:12:56,890 but instead I get this. Looks like poison. 126 00:12:56,890 --> 00:12:57,127 but instead I get this. Looks like poison. 127 00:12:57,324 --> 00:13:01,630 Don't you take that away! I'm eating that, damn it! It is poison, isn't it? 128 00:13:01,662 --> 00:13:04,402 I swear to God, I wouldn't be surprised if it was... 129 00:13:04,498 --> 00:13:08,282 the way you skulk around like a dog been hit too much.Or ain't been hit enough! 130 00:13:08,335 --> 00:13:09,687 I can't make up my mind. 131 00:13:09,837 --> 00:13:11,711 You're useless, Beatrice. 132 00:13:11,839 --> 00:13:15,837 The only thing that pulls its weight around here is my goddamn truck! 133 00:13:26,019 --> 00:13:27,513 Figures. 134 00:13:36,463 --> 00:13:38,123 What the heck is it, Edgar? 135 00:13:39,299 --> 00:13:41,552 Get your big butt back in the house. 136 00:13:54,047 --> 00:13:57,760 Place projectile weapon on the ground. 137 00:13:57,818 --> 00:13:59,585 You can have my gun... 138 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,937 when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. 139 00:14:02,055 --> 00:14:04,416 Your proposal is acceptable. 140 00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:48,574 Edgar, what on earth was that? 141 00:14:48,702 --> 00:14:49,911 Sugar. 142 00:14:50,204 --> 00:14:52,636 I've never seen sugar do that. 143 00:14:53,774 --> 00:14:55,790 Give me sugar. 144 00:15:00,614 --> 00:15:01,966 In water. 145 00:15:08,388 --> 00:15:09,598 More. 146 00:15:13,126 --> 00:15:14,336 More. 147 00:15:28,809 --> 00:15:31,027 Your skin is hanging off your bones. 148 00:15:42,656 --> 00:15:43,759 Is that better? 149 00:16:13,153 --> 00:16:15,929 ''The perpetrator then blinked two sets of eyelids.'' 150 00:16:16,023 --> 00:16:17,825 You mean blinked with both eyes? 151 00:16:17,958 --> 00:16:21,219 No, sir. He blinked one set, then a completely different set. 152 00:16:21,295 --> 00:16:23,892 You know, like high beams and low beams. 153 00:16:24,965 --> 00:16:26,661 Was that before... 154 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,397 or after he drew the weapon that you 155 00:16:29,503 --> 00:16:31,235 claim evaporated into a million pieces? 156 00:16:31,371 --> 00:16:33,103 After, sir. 157 00:16:33,907 --> 00:16:37,834 Why is it that no other officers saw either of these events? 158 00:16:37,878 --> 00:16:40,795 Some other officers are soggy around the midsection. 159 00:16:40,881 --> 00:16:43,063 I guess that's why they couldn't keep up. 160 00:16:43,216 --> 00:16:44,640 If you were half the man I am-- 161 00:16:44,885 --> 00:16:47,458 What the hell? I am half the man that you are. 162 00:16:47,554 --> 00:16:49,251 - What is your problem? 163 00:16:49,423 --> 00:16:50,668 - You being all up in my damn face. 164 00:16:50,824 --> 00:16:53,077 - I think he threw him off the roof. - Maybe you're next. 165 00:16:53,493 --> 00:16:54,561 - I want to talk to you. Now. 166 00:16:54,795 --> 00:16:56,977 - Ten minutes, take your best shot. 167 00:16:58,398 --> 00:17:01,874 Take ten minutes on a Stairmaster, you pudgy bastard. 168 00:17:07,341 --> 00:17:10,152 I believe you. Laurel Weaver, Deputy Medical Examiner. 169 00:17:10,243 --> 00:17:12,260 Find me at the morgue on 26th. I'll show you. 170 00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:13,244 Wait. 171 00:17:13,513 --> 00:17:14,545 Wait a minute! 172 00:17:15,515 --> 00:17:19,999 You're Dr. Weaver with the coroner's office working on theJohn Doe? 173 00:17:20,020 --> 00:17:22,452 - Yes, that's right. - Will you look at this, please? 174 00:17:29,696 --> 00:17:31,250 Some night, huh? 175 00:17:31,565 --> 00:17:32,430 Yeah, some night. 176 00:17:32,599 --> 00:17:34,616 They were gills, not eyelids. 177 00:17:35,936 --> 00:17:38,012 Gills. He was out of breath. 178 00:17:38,772 --> 00:17:39,946 Who are you? 179 00:17:40,107 --> 00:17:41,910 Did he say anything to you? 180 00:17:42,042 --> 00:17:44,094 Yeah, the world was coming to an end. 181 00:17:45,112 --> 00:17:46,500 Did he say when? 182 00:17:52,552 --> 00:17:55,470 Would you recognize his weapon if you saw it again? 183 00:17:55,555 --> 00:17:56,943 Absolutely. 184 00:17:58,558 --> 00:18:00,290 Come on. Let's take a ride. 185 00:18:00,460 --> 00:18:03,378 Wait a minute. Look, I got tons of paperwork-- 186 00:18:03,463 --> 00:18:04,472 - Right. It's all done. 187 00:18:04,631 --> 00:18:05,639 - Good work, Edwards. 188 00:18:05,799 --> 00:18:08,824 You really ran this dude down on foot? That's tough, kid. 189 00:18:08,902 --> 00:18:10,456 That's double tough. 190 00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:20,747 So who exactly are you with? 191 00:18:20,747 --> 00:18:22,823 So who exactly are you with? 192 00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:25,346 F.B.I.? N.S.A.? 193 00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:30,057 I'm part of a bureau that licenses, monitors and polices... alien actiity on the planet Earth. 194 00:18:30,057 --> 00:18:31,480 Whateer. 195 00:18:31,625 --> 00:18:33,119 We're here. 196 00:18:34,795 --> 00:18:36,527 - This is where we're going? - Yeah. 197 00:18:37,297 --> 00:18:38,756 This is JackJeebs' spot. 198 00:18:38,899 --> 00:18:41,532 He buys from chain snatchers. 199 00:18:41,635 --> 00:18:42,500 - He doesn't even sell guns. - Really? 200 00:18:43,136 --> 00:18:44,145 All right, look. 201 00:18:44,304 --> 00:18:46,451 I'll slide in and put my thing down. 202 00:18:46,573 --> 00:18:48,518 But when I come out I want answers. 203 00:18:48,642 --> 00:18:50,374 Go put your thing down. 204 00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:57,946 Officer Eduardo. 205 00:18:58,085 --> 00:19:01,074 How did these get here? I thought I turned them in to the authorities. 206 00:19:01,154 --> 00:19:04,701 The way I hear it you're into something hotter than stolen Rolexes. 207 00:19:04,758 --> 00:19:07,605 I'm a huge crack dealer now, but I work here as I love the hours. 208 00:19:07,994 --> 00:19:10,911 I'm talking about guns, smart ass. 209 00:19:11,465 --> 00:19:14,347 - Weird ones. - Come on. What you see is what I got. 210 00:19:16,670 --> 00:19:18,224 Why don't you show him the imports,Jeebs? 211 00:19:19,273 --> 00:19:21,040 - Hiya, Kay. How are you? 212 00:19:21,174 --> 00:19:22,527 - Show him the imports right now. 213 00:19:22,676 --> 00:19:24,550 I got out of that business a long time ago. 214 00:19:24,678 --> 00:19:26,066 - Why do you lie to me? I hate it. 215 00:19:26,446 --> 00:19:27,727 -Just hold on a second. 216 00:19:28,115 --> 00:19:29,182 - I'm gonna count to three. - He'll do it,Jeebs. 217 00:19:29,349 --> 00:19:33,418 - One... - That man does not look stable. 218 00:19:33,453 --> 00:19:35,398 - He's crazy when he's like this. - He's always crazy. 219 00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:37,503 Why don't you get a massage? 220 00:19:37,624 --> 00:19:38,525 Take a cruise. 221 00:19:39,293 --> 00:19:41,724 - Drop the weapon. Hands on your head! - I warned him. 222 00:19:41,862 --> 00:19:44,222 - Drop it! Don't make me kill you. - You warned him. 223 00:19:44,464 --> 00:19:47,240 You insensitive prick! 224 00:19:51,371 --> 00:19:53,767 Do you have any idea how much that stings? 225 00:19:54,141 --> 00:19:56,572 Show us the merchandise or you'll lose another head,Jeebs. 226 00:20:09,289 --> 00:20:10,190 Mr. Edwards? 227 00:20:15,662 --> 00:20:17,714 Right there. The one in the middle. 228 00:20:20,734 --> 00:20:24,518 You sold a reverberating carbonizer with mutate capacity... 229 00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:27,074 to an unlicensed cephlapoid! Jeebs, you piece of-- 230 00:20:27,507 --> 00:20:28,931 He looked all right to me. 231 00:20:29,075 --> 00:20:31,019 - Assassination. Who's the target? 232 00:20:31,144 --> 00:20:32,010 - I don't know. 233 00:20:32,245 --> 00:20:34,227 - Goddamn it,Jeebs! - I don't know! 234 00:20:35,582 --> 00:20:37,041 All that's confiscated. 235 00:20:37,184 --> 00:20:41,414 I want you on the next transport off this rock... or I'll shoot you where it don't grow back. 236 00:20:45,358 --> 00:20:48,548 And I'm going to be back to talk about them Rolexes. 237 00:21:11,051 --> 00:21:13,304 Searching for a handle on the moment? 238 00:21:14,888 --> 00:21:16,442 I can't help you. 239 00:21:17,390 --> 00:21:19,086 The only comfort I can offer... 240 00:21:19,226 --> 00:21:22,701 is my promise that tomorrow morning you won't remember a thing. 241 00:21:23,129 --> 00:21:25,869 That's not exactly some shit you just forget. 242 00:21:25,966 --> 00:21:27,460 Ever seen one of these? 243 00:21:30,971 --> 00:21:33,544 She looks over to her husband... 244 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,902 then sets it back down in her lap and says... 245 00:21:36,977 --> 00:21:40,275 '' Honey, this one's eating my popcorn.'' 246 00:21:43,483 --> 00:21:44,587 Get it? 247 00:21:44,751 --> 00:21:46,139 - Yeah. - '' Eating my popcorn.'' 248 00:21:48,421 --> 00:21:50,709 Gotta go. Thanks for the egg rolls, kid. 249 00:21:50,824 --> 00:21:52,212 Wait a minute. 250 00:21:52,425 --> 00:21:53,326 Who are you? 251 00:21:53,493 --> 00:21:56,234 See what I mean about tequila? You're a bright young man,James. 252 00:21:56,329 --> 00:21:58,238 But you need to lay off the sauce. 253 00:21:58,365 --> 00:22:00,726 I'll see you bright and early, 9:00. 254 00:22:00,834 --> 00:22:01,700 Be there... 255 00:22:02,502 --> 00:22:04,056 or be square. 256 00:22:10,577 --> 00:22:11,787 MIB 257 00:22:12,145 --> 00:22:14,221 258 00:22:18,418 --> 00:22:20,921 259 00:22:25,258 --> 00:22:26,848 Well, well, well. 260 00:22:26,993 --> 00:22:30,219 Moving right in, are we? Think we own the place? 261 00:22:30,530 --> 00:22:32,713 I got an eviction notice for you boys. 262 00:22:32,832 --> 00:22:35,678 Just what exactly do you think you're doing here? 263 00:22:35,769 --> 00:22:37,880 Taking care of your pest problem. 264 00:22:38,004 --> 00:22:39,427 Pest problem? 265 00:22:40,274 --> 00:22:41,483 Pest? 266 00:22:42,375 --> 00:22:43,869 Yeah, you got a hell of an infestation. 267 00:22:44,010 --> 00:22:46,892 You know, I've noticed an infestation here. 268 00:22:47,013 --> 00:22:52,686 Everywhere I look in fact. Nothing but undeveloped, unevolved, barely conscious pond scum... 269 00:22:52,686 --> 00:22:55,462 totally convinced of their own superiority... 270 00:22:55,622 --> 00:22:57,840 as they scurry about their short... 271 00:22:57,958 --> 00:22:59,761 pointless lives. 272 00:23:02,696 --> 00:23:04,641 Don't you want to get rid of them? 273 00:23:04,798 --> 00:23:06,530 In the worst way. 274 00:23:28,488 --> 00:23:29,556 275 00:23:29,556 --> 00:23:30,280 276 00:23:42,335 --> 00:23:43,793 Help you? 277 00:23:44,070 --> 00:23:46,122 This dude gave me this card-- 278 00:23:46,239 --> 00:23:47,627 Elevator. 279 00:24:12,265 --> 00:24:14,626 You're late. Sit down. 280 00:24:21,541 --> 00:24:23,095 My name is Zed. 281 00:24:23,543 --> 00:24:26,284 You're all here because you're the best of the best. 282 00:24:26,379 --> 00:24:31,065 Marines, Air Force, Navy SEALs, Army Rangers, N.Y.P.D. 283 00:24:31,217 --> 00:24:32,462 And we're looking for one of you. 284 00:24:32,952 --> 00:24:34,126 Just one. 285 00:24:34,288 --> 00:24:37,205 What will follow is a series of simple tests... 286 00:24:37,291 --> 00:24:41,217 for motor skills, concentration, stamina. 287 00:24:41,628 --> 00:24:43,158 I see we have a question. 288 00:24:43,297 --> 00:24:47,045 I'm sorry, maybe you already answered this but... 289 00:24:47,167 --> 00:24:48,661 why exactly are we here? 290 00:24:48,802 --> 00:24:49,810 Son. 291 00:24:50,304 --> 00:24:53,565 Second LieutenantJakeJensen. West Point. Graduate with honors. 292 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,558 We're here because you want the best of the best of the best, sir! 293 00:25:02,649 --> 00:25:04,558 What's so funny, Edwards? 294 00:25:04,918 --> 00:25:07,065 Your boy, Captain America, here. 295 00:25:07,587 --> 00:25:10,257 ''The best of the best of the best, sir!'' 296 00:25:10,490 --> 00:25:11,391 ''With honors.'' 297 00:25:12,158 --> 00:25:14,031 He's just really excited, 298 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,212 and he has no clue why we're here. 299 00:25:16,329 --> 00:25:18,866 That's very funny to me. 300 00:25:20,166 --> 00:25:21,898 Y'all ain't laughing, though. 301 00:25:29,676 --> 00:25:31,693 Okay, let's get going. 302 00:26:56,329 --> 00:26:57,503 Want to get down on this? 303 00:27:23,389 --> 00:27:25,192 Edwards, what the hell happened? 304 00:27:26,159 --> 00:27:27,025 Hesitated. 305 00:27:29,829 --> 00:27:33,684 May I ask why you felt little Tiffany deserved to die? 306 00:27:33,733 --> 00:27:36,306 She was the only one that actually seemed dangerous at the time, sir. 307 00:27:36,402 --> 00:27:37,790 How'd you decide that? 308 00:27:38,004 --> 00:27:40,815 First, I was going to pop this guy hanging from the streetlight... 309 00:27:40,907 --> 00:27:42,604 but I realized he's just working out. 310 00:27:42,775 --> 00:27:46,808 How'd I feel if somebody bust me in my ass while I'm on the treadmill? 311 00:27:46,846 --> 00:27:48,719 Then I saw this snarling beast guy... 312 00:27:48,848 --> 00:27:52,038 and I noticed he had a tissue in his hand and realized... 313 00:27:52,852 --> 00:27:54,275 he's not snarling, he's sneezing. 314 00:27:54,420 --> 00:27:55,879 Ain't no real threat there. 315 00:27:56,022 --> 00:27:57,196 Then I saw Tiffany. 316 00:27:57,357 --> 00:28:00,453 I'm thinking, eight-year-old white girl, middle of the ghetto... 317 00:28:00,526 --> 00:28:03,515 bunch of monsters at night with quantum physics books. 318 00:28:03,630 --> 00:28:05,433 She about to start some shit, Zed. 319 00:28:05,665 --> 00:28:08,334 She's about eight. Those books are way too advanced for her. 320 00:28:08,434 --> 00:28:10,936 If you ask me, she's up to something. 321 00:28:11,104 --> 00:28:13,986 Honestly, I'd appreciate it if you eased up off my back about it. 322 00:28:18,044 --> 00:28:20,096 Or do I owe her an apology? 323 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:29,108 That was a good shot though, right? 324 00:28:34,627 --> 00:28:36,679 He's got a real problem with authority. 325 00:28:36,796 --> 00:28:38,112 So do I. 326 00:28:38,398 --> 00:28:41,838 But this kid ran down a cephlapoid on foot, boss. 327 00:28:41,901 --> 00:28:43,704 That's got to be tough enough. 328 00:28:44,637 --> 00:28:46,998 Let's hope you know what you're doing. 329 00:28:55,214 --> 00:28:56,080 Gentlemen. 330 00:28:56,649 --> 00:29:01,587 Congratulations. You're all we've come to expect... from years of government training. 331 00:29:01,587 --> 00:29:06,178 If you'll just follow me, we have one more test. An eye exam. 332 00:29:19,939 --> 00:29:21,327 Where are you going? 333 00:29:23,109 --> 00:29:24,698 Hey, man, what the hell is all this? 334 00:29:24,844 --> 00:29:28,390 In the mid-. 950s the government started an underfunded agency... 335 00:29:28,448 --> 00:29:32,861 with the simple and laughable purpose of establishing contact... with a race not of this planet. 336 00:29:33,186 --> 00:29:35,440 Look directly at the end of this device. 337 00:29:35,688 --> 00:29:38,605 Everyone thought the agency was a joke, except the aliens... 338 00:29:38,691 --> 00:29:42,131 who made contact March 2, . 96. , outside New York. 339 00:29:42,195 --> 00:29:43,690 There were nine of us the first night. 340 00:29:44,298 --> 00:29:46,409 Seven agents, one astronomer... 341 00:29:46,532 --> 00:29:48,750 and one dumb kid who got lost on the wrong back road. 342 00:29:48,868 --> 00:29:51,822 Oh, you brought that tall man some flowers. 343 00:29:52,306 --> 00:29:53,515 This way. 344 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,107 They were a group of intergalactic refugees. 345 00:29:57,210 --> 00:30:00,994 Wanted Earth for an apolitical zone for creatures without a planet. 346 00:30:01,047 --> 00:30:02,671 Did you ever see ''Casablanca''? 347 00:30:02,815 --> 00:30:04,689 Same thing, except no Nazis. 348 00:30:04,817 --> 00:30:08,186 We agreed and concealed all the evidence of their landing. 349 00:30:09,055 --> 00:30:13,476 So these are real flying saucers... and the World's Fair was a cover-up for their landing? 350 00:30:13,493 --> 00:30:14,846 Why else hold it in Queens? 351 00:30:14,994 --> 00:30:17,911 More nonhumans arrive every year and live among us in secret. 352 00:30:17,997 --> 00:30:23,002 Look, I'm sorry. Not to change the subject... but when was the last time you had a CAT scan? 353 00:30:23,002 --> 00:30:24,876 Six months ago. It's company policy. 354 00:30:25,004 --> 00:30:26,771 Make another appointment. 355 00:30:26,906 --> 00:30:30,346 Tell your boy Zed I had an absolutely wonderful time... 356 00:30:30,410 --> 00:30:33,601 and thank you for everything but show me the door. 357 00:30:33,679 --> 00:30:36,941 All right. I'm going to get some coffee. You want some coffee? 358 00:30:37,016 --> 00:30:38,925 No, thank you, I'm fine. 359 00:30:43,990 --> 00:30:44,855 How you doing, fellas? 360 00:30:45,626 --> 00:30:46,693 - Shit! - Okay. 361 00:30:47,860 --> 00:30:48,928 - That's not decaf, is it? 362 00:30:49,095 --> 00:30:50,482 - Viennese cinnamon. 363 00:30:50,696 --> 00:30:54,860 Don't tell me we only got powdered stuff for cream. I hate that stuff. 364 00:30:56,702 --> 00:30:58,956 Well, that's good. Good. Good. 365 00:30:59,772 --> 00:31:01,432 You guys getting along all right? 366 00:31:03,109 --> 00:31:04,662 Don't work too hard. 367 00:31:06,546 --> 00:31:08,598 So, you guys seen the cahuengas on-- 368 00:31:08,714 --> 00:31:10,102 Sure you don't want coffee? 369 00:31:11,317 --> 00:31:14,757 Cahuengas, yeah, but how about the zapoata? 370 00:31:16,789 --> 00:31:18,592 All right, kid, here's the deal. 371 00:31:18,724 --> 00:31:22,164 At any given time there are around . ,500 aliens on the planet. 372 00:31:22,228 --> 00:31:24,280 Most of them right here in Manhattan. 373 00:31:24,397 --> 00:31:27,492 Most of them are decent enough. Just trying to make a living. 374 00:31:27,567 --> 00:31:30,165 - Cab drivers. - Not as many as you'd think. 375 00:31:30,570 --> 00:31:33,832 Humans, for the most part, don't have a clue. Don't want or need one. 376 00:31:33,906 --> 00:31:38,592 They're happy. They think they have a good bead on things. 377 00:31:39,078 --> 00:31:41,889 Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it. 378 00:31:41,981 --> 00:31:43,190 A person is smart. 379 00:31:43,483 --> 00:31:47,446 People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals. You know it. 380 00:31:47,487 --> 00:31:50,263 Fifteen hundred years ago, everybody knew... 381 00:31:50,823 --> 00:31:52,804 the Earth was the center of the universe. 382 00:31:52,925 --> 00:31:56,436 Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat. 383 00:31:56,496 --> 00:32:00,767 And fifteen minutes ago, you knew that people were alone on this planet. 384 00:32:02,502 --> 00:32:04,519 Imagine what you'll know... 385 00:32:04,837 --> 00:32:06,153 tomorrow. 386 00:32:08,341 --> 00:32:09,894 - What's the catch? - The catch. 387 00:32:11,177 --> 00:32:13,917 The catch is you will sever every human contact. 388 00:32:14,013 --> 00:32:17,239 Nobody will ever know you exist anywhere. 389 00:32:18,619 --> 00:32:20,172 Ever. 390 00:32:23,289 --> 00:32:25,614 I'll give you to sunrise to think it over. 391 00:32:31,030 --> 00:32:32,489 Is it worth it? 392 00:32:32,633 --> 00:32:34,091 Yeah, it's worth it... 393 00:32:36,536 --> 00:32:38,196 if you're strong enough. 394 00:33:38,105 --> 00:33:39,659 What's up, pops? 395 00:33:50,117 --> 00:33:51,220 All right, I'm in... 396 00:33:51,385 --> 00:33:54,896 because there's some next-level shit going on here, and I'm with that. 397 00:33:54,957 --> 00:33:58,326 But before y'all beam me up, there's a few things to understand. 398 00:33:58,392 --> 00:34:00,504 First off, you chose me... 399 00:34:00,628 --> 00:34:02,252 so you recognize the skills. 400 00:34:02,396 --> 00:34:06,359 I don't want nobody calling me ''son'' or ''kid'' or ''sport.'' Cool? 401 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:07,645 Whatever you say, slick. 402 00:34:07,803 --> 00:34:10,863 But I need to tell you something about all your skills. 403 00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:13,207 As of right now... As of right now... 404 00:34:13,207 --> 00:34:15,710 they mean precisely... 405 00:34:15,811 --> 00:34:17,020 dick. 406 00:34:30,424 --> 00:34:31,598 - Purpose of trip? 407 00:34:31,759 --> 00:34:33,075 - Diplomatic mission. 408 00:34:33,261 --> 00:34:34,270 - Duration of stay? 409 00:34:34,428 --> 00:34:35,781 - Lunch. 410 00:34:35,930 --> 00:34:37,839 Any fruits or vegetables? 411 00:34:50,279 --> 00:34:52,876 You want to stay away from that guy. 412 00:34:54,016 --> 00:34:55,474 He's grouchy. 413 00:34:55,616 --> 00:35:00,688 Three-hour delay in customs after a . 7 trillion mile trip... gonna make anybody cranky. Right? 414 00:35:00,688 --> 00:35:02,740 What branch of the government do we report to? 415 00:35:02,858 --> 00:35:05,598 - None, they ask too many questions. - So who pays for all this? 416 00:35:05,693 --> 00:35:10,319 We hold patents on a few gadgets we confiscated from the visitors. 417 00:35:10,364 --> 00:35:12,689 Velcro, microwave ovens, liposuction. 418 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,709 This is a fascinating little gadget. 419 00:35:15,137 --> 00:35:16,560 It'll replace CDs soon. 420 00:35:16,704 --> 00:35:18,851 Guess I'll have to buy the ''White Album'' again. 421 00:35:18,973 --> 00:35:20,917 That's fun. It's a universal translator. 422 00:35:21,043 --> 00:35:23,260 We're not even supposed to have it. I'll tell you why. 423 00:35:23,377 --> 00:35:25,429 Human thought is so primitive it's looked upon... 424 00:35:25,546 --> 00:35:28,986 as an infectious disease in some of the better galaxies. 425 00:35:29,051 --> 00:35:30,924 That kind of makes you proud, doesn't it? 426 00:35:31,053 --> 00:35:32,191 What's this? 427 00:35:35,990 --> 00:35:37,306 Just be calm. 428 00:35:37,491 --> 00:35:38,523 Relax! 429 00:35:39,260 --> 00:35:40,612 Watch your head! 430 00:35:41,095 --> 00:35:42,862 Somebody get him some ice. 431 00:35:43,831 --> 00:35:46,891 Move!Just move when it's coming at you! 432 00:35:52,975 --> 00:35:53,840 Damn! 433 00:35:54,008 --> 00:35:56,226 I'm going to pay for that! 434 00:36:07,421 --> 00:36:10,647 This thing caused the . 977 New York blackout. 435 00:36:11,193 --> 00:36:13,766 Practical joke by the Great Attractor. 436 00:36:13,861 --> 00:36:15,593 He thought it was funny as hell. 437 00:36:16,864 --> 00:36:18,287 Sorry, y'all. 438 00:36:18,766 --> 00:36:21,055 It was a accident. Sorry. 439 00:36:21,435 --> 00:36:23,761 Observation, the heart of our little endeavor. 440 00:36:23,871 --> 00:36:26,160 Meet the twins Blblup and Bob. 441 00:36:26,273 --> 00:36:29,820 This map shows the location of every registered alien on Earth... 442 00:36:29,877 --> 00:36:31,929 at any given time. Some are under constant surveillance. 443 00:36:32,279 --> 00:36:34,426 Everyone on those screens is an alien. 444 00:36:34,548 --> 00:36:37,609 In public, they're normal as you are, but in private, well... 445 00:36:38,052 --> 00:36:39,120 You'll get the idea. 446 00:36:40,287 --> 00:36:41,711 Oh, man. 447 00:36:42,124 --> 00:36:43,784 Doesn't make any sense, does it? 448 00:36:44,892 --> 00:36:47,739 Well, no, it makes perfect sense. 449 00:36:48,130 --> 00:36:50,703 When I was in third grade, everyone said I was crazy... 450 00:36:50,798 --> 00:36:53,680 but I knew our teacher was from Venus or something like that. 451 00:36:54,068 --> 00:36:55,622 Ms. Edelson.Jupiter, actually. 452 00:36:55,803 --> 00:36:56,906 Well, one of the moons. 453 00:36:59,473 --> 00:37:00,789 Class... 454 00:37:01,143 --> 00:37:03,681 be quiet and pay attention! 455 00:37:04,312 --> 00:37:08,380 If I hae to tell you one more time-- 456 00:37:08,883 --> 00:37:10,306 Edwards! 457 00:37:10,484 --> 00:37:11,729 Let's put it on. 458 00:37:12,521 --> 00:37:13,386 Put what on? 459 00:37:13,988 --> 00:37:16,526 The last suit you'll ever wear. 460 00:37:29,003 --> 00:37:31,814 You will dress only in attire specially sanctioned... 461 00:37:31,906 --> 00:37:33,982 by MIB special serices. 462 00:37:34,342 --> 00:37:37,366 You'll conform to the identity we gie you. 463 00:37:37,446 --> 00:37:40,363 Eat where we tell you. Lie where we tell you. 464 00:37:40,848 --> 00:37:41,951 From now on... 465 00:37:42,116 --> 00:37:44,749 you'll hae no identifying marks of any kind. 466 00:37:44,852 --> 00:37:47,557 You'll not stand out in any way. 467 00:37:47,888 --> 00:37:49,905 Your entire image is crafted to leae... 468 00:37:50,024 --> 00:37:53,084 no lasting memory with anyone you encounter. 469 00:37:53,294 --> 00:37:54,362 You are a rumor... 470 00:37:54,528 --> 00:37:59,012 recognizable only as deja u and dismissed just as quickly. 471 00:37:59,033 --> 00:38:01,500 You don't exist. You were neer een born. 472 00:38:04,106 --> 00:38:06,182 Anonymity is your name. 473 00:38:06,307 --> 00:38:08,323 Silence,your natie tongue. 474 00:38:09,043 --> 00:38:10,739 You're no longer part of the system. 475 00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,768 You're aboe the system. Oer it. 476 00:38:14,216 --> 00:38:15,769 Beyond it. 477 00:38:16,917 --> 00:38:18,198 We're ''them. '' We're ''they. '' 478 00:38:19,387 --> 00:38:21,984 We are the Men in Black. 479 00:38:23,991 --> 00:38:27,431 480 00:38:29,397 --> 00:38:31,994 You know what the difference is between you and me? 481 00:38:34,835 --> 00:38:36,911 I make this look good. 482 00:38:37,371 --> 00:38:41,226 We're going to go for a ride. 483 00:38:41,242 --> 00:38:44,883 I'll put you down here for a minute then Daddy will be right back. 484 00:39:16,377 --> 00:39:19,532 Okay, now we're ready to go for a little ride. 485 00:39:19,613 --> 00:39:23,540 We're going to meet with Daddy's friend who you'll like. 486 00:39:26,287 --> 00:39:28,303 Let's see. 487 00:39:28,889 --> 00:39:29,957 Bee... 488 00:39:30,124 --> 00:39:32,485 we've got the deposed sur-prefect of Singalee... 489 00:39:32,626 --> 00:39:35,651 touching down in the forest outside Portland tonight. 490 00:39:35,796 --> 00:39:36,733 - Humanoid? 491 00:39:36,897 --> 00:39:38,487 - You wish. Bring a sponge. 492 00:39:39,633 --> 00:39:41,780 And here. Red letter from last night. 493 00:39:42,303 --> 00:39:45,494 We had an unauthorized landing somewhere in upstate New York. 494 00:39:45,573 --> 00:39:47,684 Kay, keep your ears open on this one. 495 00:39:47,808 --> 00:39:51,391 We're not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here. 496 00:39:53,147 --> 00:39:54,677 Well, we got a skimmer. 497 00:39:54,982 --> 00:39:57,034 Landed alien out of zone. Who is it? 498 00:39:57,151 --> 00:39:58,219 Redgick. 499 00:39:58,419 --> 00:40:00,471 He's not cleared to leave Manhattan... 500 00:40:00,588 --> 00:40:02,913 but he's way out of town now, stuck on the New Jersey Turnpike. 501 00:40:03,824 --> 00:40:05,805 Why don't you take junior with you? 502 00:40:05,926 --> 00:40:08,702 This is a good one for him to warm up on. 503 00:40:09,263 --> 00:40:10,331 Go get him, tiger. 504 00:40:14,602 --> 00:40:16,678 505 00:40:17,304 --> 00:40:19,878 ''We're not hosting an intergalactic kegger.'' 506 00:40:21,175 --> 00:40:22,563 Zed. 507 00:40:23,344 --> 00:40:24,660 He just... 508 00:40:26,180 --> 00:40:28,783 Unlimited technology from the whole universe... 509 00:40:28,783 --> 00:40:31,910 and we cruise around in a Ford P.O.S. 510 00:40:34,355 --> 00:40:36,087 Fasten your seat belt. 511 00:40:36,824 --> 00:40:38,484 We got to work on your people skills. 512 00:40:38,626 --> 00:40:41,437 You'd get a much better reaction if you were more polite. 513 00:40:41,529 --> 00:40:42,703 - Fasten your seat belt, please. 514 00:40:43,197 --> 00:40:45,035 - Good. Did you hurt yourself? 515 00:40:48,803 --> 00:40:51,507 Oh, the red button there. Don't ever, ever touch it. 516 00:41:02,383 --> 00:41:05,265 All right, pop, that'll be $72 there. 517 00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:09,124 Okay, sweetie, let me pay the impolite driver. 518 00:41:38,786 --> 00:41:43,234 519 00:41:43,257 --> 00:41:45,831 520 00:41:45,926 --> 00:41:49,046 521 00:41:49,130 --> 00:41:53,198 522 00:41:53,267 --> 00:41:55,592 523 00:41:55,736 --> 00:41:57,266 524 00:41:58,739 --> 00:42:00,613 525 00:42:00,741 --> 00:42:03,411 526 00:42:03,511 --> 00:42:04,791 527 00:42:05,479 --> 00:42:09,062 528 00:42:12,119 --> 00:42:13,614 Six is up! 529 00:42:14,889 --> 00:42:16,063 - Where is Ivan? 530 00:42:16,223 --> 00:42:17,777 - Gave him a break. 531 00:42:28,402 --> 00:42:31,593 532 00:42:31,672 --> 00:42:33,724 533 00:42:40,915 --> 00:42:44,141 You can kill us both, but you will not find the galaxy. 534 00:42:44,251 --> 00:42:47,276 You're right about one thing. 535 00:43:01,502 --> 00:43:03,234 You're not going anywhere, pal. 536 00:43:06,374 --> 00:43:08,106 What's going on? 537 00:43:20,121 --> 00:43:22,409 I'd like to see your license and registration, please. 538 00:43:25,959 --> 00:43:29,328 Like to see your other license and registration, please. 539 00:43:36,037 --> 00:43:40,165 You're restricted to Manhattan. Where are you going, Redgie? 540 00:43:40,808 --> 00:43:43,477 It's my wife. She's-- Well, look. 541 00:43:48,149 --> 00:43:49,394 All right. No big deal. 542 00:43:49,550 --> 00:43:51,732 Okay, you come with me, Redge. 543 00:43:53,888 --> 00:43:56,106 And you handle this. 544 00:43:56,223 --> 00:43:57,124 What! Me? 545 00:43:57,825 --> 00:43:59,248 It's easy. You just catch. 546 00:43:59,393 --> 00:44:01,196 - He knows what he's doing? - He does it all the time. 547 00:44:01,329 --> 00:44:02,538 Let the man work. 548 00:44:11,172 --> 00:44:13,425 Damn, man! So-- Something's peaking! 549 00:44:13,808 --> 00:44:16,654 Croagg the midwife is at 54th and Madison. 550 00:44:16,743 --> 00:44:18,795 You're headed out of town. What's going on? 551 00:44:18,913 --> 00:44:20,087 - We're meeting someone. 552 00:44:20,247 --> 00:44:21,315 - Who you meeting? 553 00:44:21,482 --> 00:44:22,347 It's a ship. 554 00:44:22,516 --> 00:44:24,568 I saw no departure clearance for today. 555 00:44:24,685 --> 00:44:25,694 - You didn't? - No. 556 00:44:25,853 --> 00:44:28,178 - It's an emergency. - Kay! Kay! 557 00:44:28,689 --> 00:44:30,113 - You're doing fine, ace. - Kiss my ass! 558 00:44:30,257 --> 00:44:33,160 What kind of emergency? What's the rush to get off the planet? 559 00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:34,695 Excuse me, miss. 560 00:44:34,695 --> 00:44:37,020 We just don't like the neighborhood anymore. 561 00:44:37,131 --> 00:44:39,076 Some of the new arrivals. 562 00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:42,711 New arrivals? Have anything to do with the crash last night? 563 00:44:42,769 --> 00:44:44,192 Excuse me, miss! 564 00:44:47,774 --> 00:44:49,328 Oh, man. 565 00:44:49,844 --> 00:44:51,611 Oh, man! 566 00:44:53,614 --> 00:44:54,622 Look. 567 00:44:54,781 --> 00:44:56,619 Oh, man. 568 00:44:58,051 --> 00:45:00,304 Congratulations, Redge. It's a... 569 00:45:01,122 --> 00:45:02,093 squid. 570 00:45:05,893 --> 00:45:06,865 He's... 571 00:45:07,794 --> 00:45:09,775 actually kind of... 572 00:45:16,069 --> 00:45:17,278 cute. 573 00:45:25,146 --> 00:45:27,364 Anything about that seem unusual to you? 574 00:45:29,917 --> 00:45:31,577 What would scare Redgick so badly 575 00:45:31,718 --> 00:45:34,079 he'd risk a warp jump with a newborn? 576 00:45:34,655 --> 00:45:36,672 We'll check the hot sheets. 577 00:45:39,894 --> 00:45:42,147 578 00:45:42,262 --> 00:45:43,507 These are the hot sheets? 579 00:45:43,664 --> 00:45:45,811 Best investigative reporting on the planet. 580 00:45:45,933 --> 00:45:49,195 Read the '' New York Times'' if you want. They get lucky sometimes. 581 00:45:49,269 --> 00:45:53,267 I cannot believe you're looking for tips in the supermarket tabloids. 582 00:45:54,508 --> 00:45:56,168 Not looking for. 583 00:45:57,010 --> 00:45:59,750 Found. 584 00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:13,747 Wait, slow down. 585 00:46:13,995 --> 00:46:14,860 Why? 586 00:46:15,028 --> 00:46:18,148 Give her time to get the wrong impression. Makes things smoother. 587 00:46:19,367 --> 00:46:20,896 Can I help you, gentlemen? 588 00:46:21,034 --> 00:46:24,580 Yes, ma'am. I'm Agent Manheim, this is Agent Black, with the F.B.I. 589 00:46:24,638 --> 00:46:26,406 We'd like to talk about your visitor. 590 00:46:26,540 --> 00:46:28,070 You here to make fun of me too? 591 00:46:28,209 --> 00:46:32,408 We at the F.B.I. do not have a sense of humor we're aware of. May we come in? 592 00:46:33,648 --> 00:46:35,035 Sure. 593 00:46:35,383 --> 00:46:36,663 - Thank you. - Lemonade? 594 00:46:36,817 --> 00:46:38,276 Oh, yes, please. 595 00:46:42,723 --> 00:46:45,393 The chief of police himself come up to the house... 596 00:46:45,493 --> 00:46:47,569 and did a full-out professional investigation. 597 00:46:47,995 --> 00:46:51,257 Took a police report and writ down everything I said... 598 00:46:51,331 --> 00:46:53,240 from A to Z, not believing one thing I said. 599 00:46:53,401 --> 00:46:55,203 Sort of poking fun at me. 600 00:46:55,335 --> 00:46:57,588 Then they asked, ''If he was murdered... 601 00:46:57,738 --> 00:47:00,241 how was he able to walk back in the house?'' 602 00:47:00,340 --> 00:47:03,294 I gotta admit to you that one got me sorta stumped. 603 00:47:03,644 --> 00:47:06,314 But I know Edgar and that wasn't Edgar. 604 00:47:07,682 --> 00:47:10,801 It was like something was wearing Edgar. 605 00:47:11,485 --> 00:47:13,967 Like a suit. 606 00:47:14,588 --> 00:47:16,047 An Edgar suit. 607 00:47:23,597 --> 00:47:26,373 Dude was that ugly before he was an alien. 608 00:47:29,202 --> 00:47:31,147 I'm sorry. 609 00:47:31,371 --> 00:47:32,474 Go on. 610 00:47:33,441 --> 00:47:34,721 Anyway... 611 00:47:34,875 --> 00:47:37,022 I come to and he's gone. 612 00:47:37,944 --> 00:47:38,952 - Did he say anything? 613 00:47:39,246 --> 00:47:40,112 - Yes. 614 00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,118 He asked me for some water. 615 00:47:42,717 --> 00:47:44,626 Some sugar water. 616 00:47:44,951 --> 00:47:46,125 - Sugar water? 617 00:47:46,286 --> 00:47:49,382 - Yeah, I remember that right.'Cause I thought that was odd. 618 00:47:49,557 --> 00:47:53,899 That he asked me for sugar water and not lemonade or ice water or... 619 00:47:54,161 --> 00:47:55,477 regular water or... 620 00:47:55,629 --> 00:47:56,945 tap water. 621 00:47:57,964 --> 00:48:00,811 All right, Beatrice. There was no alien. 622 00:48:00,901 --> 00:48:03,368 The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a U.F.O. 623 00:48:03,471 --> 00:48:07,974 Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket... and refracted the light from Venus. 624 00:48:07,974 --> 00:48:09,327 Wait a minute. 625 00:48:09,477 --> 00:48:13,082 You flash that thing it erases her memory and you just make up a new one? 626 00:48:13,146 --> 00:48:15,020 A standard-issue neuralizer. 627 00:48:15,148 --> 00:48:17,853 That weak-ass story is the best you can come up with? 628 00:48:18,085 --> 00:48:18,986 All right. 629 00:48:19,152 --> 00:48:20,646 On a more personal note, 630 00:48:21,254 --> 00:48:25,109 Edgar ran off with an old girlfriend.You'll go stay with your mom a couple nights. 631 00:48:25,158 --> 00:48:26,617 You'll get over it and decide you're better off. 632 00:48:26,761 --> 00:48:30,580 Yeah, because he never appreciated you anyway. 633 00:48:30,997 --> 00:48:33,014 In fact, you know what? 634 00:48:33,166 --> 00:48:36,083 You kicked him out. And now that he's gone... 635 00:48:36,169 --> 00:48:39,431 you'll go into town, find yourself some nice dresses. 636 00:48:39,507 --> 00:48:43,813 Get yourself some shoes. Find somewhere you could get a facial. 637 00:48:43,844 --> 00:48:45,018 And... 638 00:48:45,178 --> 00:48:48,582 hire a decorator to come here quick because, damn! 639 00:48:55,222 --> 00:48:56,590 Yo, Kay, check it out. 640 00:48:56,590 --> 00:48:58,500 When do I get my own flashy... 641 00:48:58,625 --> 00:49:00,119 memory messer-upper thing? 642 00:49:00,260 --> 00:49:01,398 When you grow up. 643 00:49:05,365 --> 00:49:06,468 Please, not green. 644 00:49:07,868 --> 00:49:10,538 Damn. 645 00:49:10,538 --> 00:49:13,598 I don't suppose you know what kind of alien life-form...leaves a green spectral trail 646 00:49:13,673 --> 00:49:15,167 and craves sugar water? 647 00:49:15,942 --> 00:49:18,303 Wait. That was on '' FinalJeopardy'' last night. 648 00:49:18,713 --> 00:49:20,136 - Damn, Alex said it was-- 649 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:21,940 - Zed, we have a bug. 650 00:49:22,616 --> 00:49:23,791 So. 651 00:49:23,950 --> 00:49:25,480 What? We don't like bugs? 652 00:49:25,619 --> 00:49:27,873 Bugs thrive on carnage, tiger. 653 00:49:28,288 --> 00:49:31,408 They consume, infest, destroy, 654 00:49:31,491 --> 00:49:32,807 live off the destruction of other species. 655 00:49:32,959 --> 00:49:35,035 - You were stung as a child, right? - Listen, kid. 656 00:49:35,463 --> 00:49:39,353 Imagine a giant cockroach with unlimited strength... 657 00:49:39,399 --> 00:49:43,254 a massive inferiority complex, and a real short temper... 658 00:49:43,303 --> 00:49:46,743 is tear-assing around Manhattan Island in a brand-new Edgar suit. 659 00:49:47,642 --> 00:49:48,957 Sound like fun? 660 00:49:51,244 --> 00:49:52,454 What's the move? 661 00:49:53,413 --> 00:49:56,010 With the bug in town, we'll watch the morgues. 662 00:50:08,161 --> 00:50:10,308 Where do you want contestant number three? 663 00:50:10,430 --> 00:50:11,960 Just leave it there. 664 00:50:12,098 --> 00:50:13,166 What's with the cat? 665 00:50:13,333 --> 00:50:16,594 There's a problem with the cat. Sign here. 666 00:50:16,671 --> 00:50:19,588 - What's the problem with the cat? - It's your problem. 667 00:50:22,777 --> 00:50:24,401 I hate the living. 668 00:50:26,346 --> 00:50:27,734 Shall we? 669 00:50:57,377 --> 00:50:59,286 Oh, my God! 670 00:51:03,316 --> 00:51:05,392 Buddy, what are you? 671 00:51:13,728 --> 00:51:17,167 Subject was approximately . . 2 degrees at time of autopsy... 672 00:51:17,230 --> 00:51:19,555 indicating an increase in body temperature. 673 00:51:19,666 --> 00:51:23,972 Examiner tried to verify this rectally...only to find the subject was without rectum. 674 00:51:24,005 --> 00:51:25,534 - Which is, needless to say, really-- 675 00:51:25,672 --> 00:51:26,703 - Weird. 676 00:51:27,407 --> 00:51:31,570 I'm Dr. Leo Manville, Department of Public Health.This is Dr. White. 677 00:51:32,679 --> 00:51:34,897 You boys must not have much of a home life. 678 00:51:35,016 --> 00:51:38,349 We watch the morgues very carefully. Seen something unusual? 679 00:51:38,418 --> 00:51:40,814 I'd say so. Triple homicide. 680 00:51:40,921 --> 00:51:42,757 The first body was pretty normal, except he was broken in half. 681 00:51:42,757 --> 00:51:44,381 The first body was pretty normal, except he was broken in half. 682 00:51:44,524 --> 00:51:47,406 But when I opened up the other two, well-- 683 00:51:47,495 --> 00:51:48,669 Let me show you. 684 00:51:54,935 --> 00:51:58,541 There's a skeletal structure unlike any I've ever seen before. 685 00:51:58,605 --> 00:52:00,064 I'll look at it. 686 00:52:00,206 --> 00:52:02,424 Dr. White, why don't you and Dr. Weaver check out the other body? 687 00:52:02,542 --> 00:52:03,930 This way, Doctor. 688 00:52:04,544 --> 00:52:06,525 This one's even stranger. 689 00:52:07,380 --> 00:52:08,554 I did a full laparotomy. 690 00:52:08,715 --> 00:52:10,447 I began with the stomach. 691 00:52:10,584 --> 00:52:13,740 We can start with the gastroesophageal junction.Whichever you prefer. 692 00:52:14,889 --> 00:52:17,914 Let's start wherever you started at. 693 00:52:18,224 --> 00:52:19,612 Okeydokey. 694 00:52:28,301 --> 00:52:30,104 - Your cat? - Guess it is now. 695 00:52:30,236 --> 00:52:32,703 It came in with the body. Dive right in. 696 00:52:32,807 --> 00:52:34,195 I'm sure he won't mind. 697 00:52:37,979 --> 00:52:39,995 You have really pretty eyes. 698 00:52:40,915 --> 00:52:42,124 Thank you. 699 00:52:45,752 --> 00:52:46,760 Feel that? 700 00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:50,040 Where the pyloric junction would be? Push it aside. 701 00:52:50,323 --> 00:52:53,585 Notice anything strange? Stomach, liver, lungs? 702 00:52:53,660 --> 00:52:54,798 No, all fine. 703 00:52:55,929 --> 00:52:57,553 Doctor, they're all missing. 704 00:52:58,164 --> 00:52:59,173 Well, of course. 705 00:52:59,332 --> 00:53:02,558 That's obviously the first thing I noticed. 706 00:53:02,837 --> 00:53:05,956 What I was pointing out is the fact that there are no... 707 00:53:07,008 --> 00:53:08,395 pieces... 708 00:53:08,608 --> 00:53:10,162 of them left. 709 00:53:10,343 --> 00:53:13,297 You know, so they're intact. 710 00:53:13,848 --> 00:53:15,236 Wherever they are. Whole, somewhere. 711 00:53:15,515 --> 00:53:17,211 That we can be sure of. 712 00:53:17,350 --> 00:53:18,738 Have we met before? 713 00:53:19,452 --> 00:53:21,778 I'm having the strangest feeling of deja vu. 714 00:53:23,024 --> 00:53:25,455 - Yeah, me too. - Really? 715 00:53:26,192 --> 00:53:28,766 Okay, you want to know what I really think? 716 00:53:28,863 --> 00:53:30,559 But don't tell him, he's under enough stress. 717 00:53:30,697 --> 00:53:32,500 I don't think it's a real body. 718 00:53:32,632 --> 00:53:35,966 I think it's some kind of transport unit for something else altogether. 719 00:53:36,037 --> 00:53:37,946 The question is, what? 720 00:53:38,705 --> 00:53:40,365 Is this freaking you out? 721 00:53:42,809 --> 00:53:44,197 No, girl. 722 00:53:46,047 --> 00:53:48,300 You know what I like to do sometimes when it's late? 723 00:53:51,484 --> 00:53:52,694 No. 724 00:53:53,386 --> 00:53:54,774 Dr. White. 725 00:53:56,489 --> 00:53:57,877 Excuse me. 726 00:54:02,495 --> 00:54:03,705 What do you think? 727 00:54:04,065 --> 00:54:07,778 Very interesting. She got a real Queen-of-the-Undead thing going-- 728 00:54:07,834 --> 00:54:09,079 - Of the body. 729 00:54:09,235 --> 00:54:10,101 - Great body. 730 00:54:10,336 --> 00:54:11,961 The dead body. 731 00:54:12,739 --> 00:54:14,577 Man, you have to look at that thing. 732 00:54:15,008 --> 00:54:16,632 You recognize him? 733 00:54:17,178 --> 00:54:20,855 Yeah, he looks like the big guy I saw down at headquarters, only deader. 734 00:54:20,915 --> 00:54:22,124 What do you think killed him? 735 00:54:23,516 --> 00:54:24,548 - A bug? - Dr. White. 736 00:54:25,352 --> 00:54:26,739 You're up, slugger. 737 00:54:30,690 --> 00:54:31,971 Look at this. 738 00:54:33,693 --> 00:54:35,318 What the hell is that? 739 00:54:53,380 --> 00:54:55,182 Must... 740 00:54:56,883 --> 00:54:58,508 To prevent... 741 00:55:01,222 --> 00:55:03,203 contest. 742 00:55:04,125 --> 00:55:05,749 It's okay. What are you trying to say? 743 00:55:05,892 --> 00:55:07,422 To prevent... 744 00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:09,114 ''To prevent...'' 745 00:55:09,295 --> 00:55:10,505 Struggle? 746 00:55:11,132 --> 00:55:12,626 No. 747 00:55:12,799 --> 00:55:14,008 To prevent... 748 00:55:14,401 --> 00:55:15,432 War? 749 00:55:15,635 --> 00:55:17,023 War. 750 00:55:19,472 --> 00:55:21,026 The galaxy... 751 00:55:22,409 --> 00:55:24,211 ...is on... 752 00:55:24,577 --> 00:55:26,559 ...Orion's... 753 00:55:28,982 --> 00:55:29,847 ...be- be-- 754 00:55:32,752 --> 00:55:34,211 What is word? 755 00:55:34,821 --> 00:55:36,209 The bed? 756 00:55:36,656 --> 00:55:38,839 Belt? Orion's belt? 757 00:55:58,945 --> 00:56:02,658 ''To prevent war the galaxy is on Orion's belt.'' 758 00:56:03,283 --> 00:56:04,492 What the hell does that mean? 759 00:56:07,954 --> 00:56:09,651 Doctor... 760 00:56:09,789 --> 00:56:11,034 - whatever, come here! 761 00:56:11,192 --> 00:56:15,189 - Dr. ''Whatever''?You guys aren't really from the Department of Health, are you? 762 00:56:15,528 --> 00:56:17,580 Rosenberg! Ah, damn. 763 00:56:17,697 --> 00:56:22,145 The Arquillians will not like this. He was one of the royal family. 764 00:56:22,203 --> 00:56:23,555 I knew it. This is an alien. 765 00:56:23,703 --> 00:56:27,249 And you're from some government agency trying to keep it under wraps. 766 00:56:27,307 --> 00:56:30,640 He said, ''To prevent war, the galaxy is on Orion's belt.'' 767 00:56:30,710 --> 00:56:32,979 This makes total sense. How else do you explain New York? 768 00:56:32,979 --> 00:56:35,577 The other day I was in this cab and this guy-- 769 00:56:37,384 --> 00:56:39,709 ''Galaxy on Orion's belt'' doesn't make sense. 770 00:56:39,819 --> 00:56:42,322 That's what the little dude inside the big dude's head said. Right? 771 00:56:42,322 --> 00:56:43,710 Right after-- 772 00:56:43,990 --> 00:56:47,086 Damn, man. You did the flashy thing already. 773 00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:49,971 Whoever you are, you have to show I.D. if you're gonna be in the morgue. 774 00:56:50,063 --> 00:56:53,159 Of course, young lady. Look at this for me, please. 775 00:56:53,234 --> 00:56:55,286 - Would you stop that? - What? 776 00:56:55,402 --> 00:56:58,142 That thing is gonna give her brain cancer or something. 777 00:56:58,239 --> 00:57:02,307 Never hurt her before. We have to close all the doors here.Special Services will be here any minute. 778 00:57:02,342 --> 00:57:05,331 '' Before''! How many times have you flashy-thinged that poor woman? 779 00:57:05,412 --> 00:57:06,420 Couple. 780 00:57:06,579 --> 00:57:09,806 - No worries about no long-term damage? - Little. 781 00:57:09,916 --> 00:57:11,968 - Have you ever flashy-thinged me? - No. 782 00:57:12,085 --> 00:57:14,623 - I ain't playing with you! Have you? - No. 783 00:57:24,197 --> 00:57:27,531 I think I should be in charge of the flashy thing department. 784 00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:29,130 Not while I'm around, ace. 785 00:57:29,269 --> 00:57:31,594 You won't be happy till you fricassee someone's brain out. 786 00:57:31,705 --> 00:57:35,773 We got two dead aliens and a Deputy Medical Examiner...- that needs a new memory. - Yes, sir. 787 00:57:38,278 --> 00:57:40,354 Make it a happy memory. 788 00:58:13,747 --> 00:58:15,894 Where is it? 789 00:58:37,937 --> 00:58:42,101 790 00:58:49,716 --> 00:58:51,554 791 00:58:52,185 --> 00:58:54,403 792 00:58:59,625 --> 00:59:01,178 Hey, Zed. 793 00:59:01,627 --> 00:59:04,616 Doesn't anyone ever get any sleep around here? 794 00:59:04,698 --> 00:59:08,826 The twins keep us on Centaurian time. It's a 37-hour day. 795 00:59:08,868 --> 00:59:11,157 Give it a few months, you'll get used to it. 796 00:59:11,271 --> 00:59:13,038 Or have a psychotic episode. 797 00:59:13,473 --> 00:59:14,338 Here's Orion. 798 00:59:14,808 --> 00:59:17,963 It's a grouping of the brightest stars in the northern sky. 799 00:59:18,044 --> 00:59:20,784 - And here's Orion's belt. - That's what the little guy said. 800 00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:24,486 ''To prevent war, the galaxy is on Orion's belt.'' 801 00:59:24,551 --> 00:59:27,124 Junior, there are no galaxies on Orion's belt. 802 00:59:27,220 --> 00:59:30,933 The belt is just these three stars.Galaxies are huge. 803 00:59:30,990 --> 00:59:35,154 They're made up of billions of stars.You heard wrong. 804 00:59:35,895 --> 00:59:38,433 Look, whatever, I know what I heard. 805 01:00:15,435 --> 01:00:16,823 Pretty lady. 806 01:00:19,539 --> 01:00:20,927 807 01:00:23,376 --> 01:00:28,062 The grumpy guy's story is starting to come into focus a little bit here. 808 01:00:28,548 --> 01:00:31,917 You were the guy in the picture you showed me with the flowers. 809 01:00:32,718 --> 01:00:36,193 And, I take it, she never got those flowers. 810 01:00:36,790 --> 01:00:39,744 So, what, she ever get married or anything? 811 01:00:40,894 --> 01:00:43,811 You know what they say.''It's better to have loved and lost 812 01:00:43,897 --> 01:00:45,878 than never to have loved at all.'' 813 01:00:46,399 --> 01:00:47,502 Try it. 814 01:00:53,139 --> 01:00:54,313 Take a look at this. 815 01:00:54,474 --> 01:00:56,098 My God, they're all leaving. 816 01:00:56,242 --> 01:01:00,311 We've had . 2 jump in the last hour. Redgick was just the first. 817 01:01:01,147 --> 01:01:03,021 What do they know that we don't? 818 01:01:03,149 --> 01:01:04,679 Why does a rat desert a ship? 819 01:01:04,818 --> 01:01:08,815 Give me Lem Sat 4 with a proton induction thermoscan, please. 820 01:01:10,490 --> 01:01:13,028 Thank you. Okay. Lem Sat . 8. 821 01:01:14,994 --> 01:01:16,310 All right, 4,000. 822 01:01:20,666 --> 01:01:22,018 - That's an Arquillian battle cruiser. 823 01:01:22,168 --> 01:01:24,944 - We've got a dead Arquillian prince. 824 01:01:26,606 --> 01:01:28,160 Speak of the devil. 825 01:01:29,175 --> 01:01:30,184 They sound pissed. 826 01:01:30,343 --> 01:01:32,003 Boys, translate that. Step on it. 827 01:01:32,178 --> 01:01:35,819 Go to Rosenberg's jewelry store and see what you can turn up. 828 01:01:41,855 --> 01:01:42,993 Give the kid a weapon. 829 01:01:52,698 --> 01:01:54,227 - Series 4 de-atomizer. 830 01:01:54,367 --> 01:01:57,072 - That's what I'm talking about.Noisy cricket. 831 01:01:59,972 --> 01:02:02,083 Kay, no, no, come on, man. 832 01:02:02,208 --> 01:02:04,878 You get a Series 4 de-atomizer... 833 01:02:04,977 --> 01:02:06,080 I get a midget cricket? 834 01:02:10,816 --> 01:02:12,797 Feel like I'm going to break this damn thing. 835 01:02:57,197 --> 01:02:59,866 Hey, this is my truck! 836 01:03:00,533 --> 01:03:03,831 Make sure you tell them that down at the impound. 837 01:03:11,043 --> 01:03:13,024 Please. 838 01:03:22,455 --> 01:03:26,002 Who breaks into a jewelry store and leaves all the jewels? 839 01:03:26,058 --> 01:03:27,338 Somebody not looking for jewelry. 840 01:03:29,562 --> 01:03:32,232 He had a serious crush on his cat. 841 01:03:34,634 --> 01:03:35,606 Get down! 842 01:03:40,906 --> 01:03:42,116 Man! 843 01:03:43,809 --> 01:03:45,956 That's him. That's the bug! 844 01:03:46,078 --> 01:03:47,466 In the Edgar suit! 845 01:04:08,834 --> 01:04:11,930 We do not discharge our weapons in view of the public! 846 01:04:12,004 --> 01:04:14,222 We ain't got time for this cover-up bullshit! 847 01:04:14,340 --> 01:04:16,843 Have you forgotten? There's an alien battle cruiser-- 848 01:04:16,942 --> 01:04:20,097 There's always an alien battle cruiser or a Korilian death ray... 849 01:04:20,180 --> 01:04:23,097 or an intergalactic plague about to wipe out life on this planet. 850 01:04:23,183 --> 01:04:26,208 The only way people get on with their happy lives... 851 01:04:26,286 --> 01:04:29,132 is they do not know about it! 852 01:04:33,626 --> 01:04:35,608 Don't worry about the bug. 853 01:04:35,861 --> 01:04:38,114 He's not leaving town. We've got his ship. 854 01:04:46,038 --> 01:04:48,256 Zed, we need a containment crew... 855 01:04:48,375 --> 01:04:50,213 on MacDougal Street south of Houston. 856 01:04:50,810 --> 01:04:54,773 Containment may be a moot point, friend. The exodus continues. 857 01:04:54,814 --> 01:04:58,492 It's like the party's over and the last one to leave gets stuck with the check. 858 01:04:58,551 --> 01:05:01,327 You sorry little ingrates! 859 01:05:09,328 --> 01:05:11,060 What about the Arquillians? 860 01:05:11,231 --> 01:05:14,944 We've only translated part of the message so far:- '' Deliver the galaxy.'' 861 01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:16,068 - They don't want much, do they? 862 01:05:16,236 --> 01:05:18,217 Oh, it gets better. 863 01:05:18,337 --> 01:05:19,926 They hold us responsible. 864 01:05:20,072 --> 01:05:24,591 865 01:05:28,748 --> 01:05:31,073 Where do you keep your dead? 866 01:05:31,183 --> 01:05:32,807 I don't have any dead. 867 01:05:33,352 --> 01:05:34,526 Where? 868 01:05:34,688 --> 01:05:35,862 I don't know. 869 01:05:36,021 --> 01:05:38,168 The city morgue? 870 01:05:48,535 --> 01:05:51,037 That's three for a dollar, sir! 871 01:05:51,538 --> 01:05:54,633 It was some light that refracted off of Venus... 872 01:05:54,708 --> 01:05:56,297 into some swamp gas... 873 01:05:56,443 --> 01:05:58,067 and that's what made the-- 874 01:05:58,210 --> 01:05:59,669 All right, kid! 875 01:06:00,379 --> 01:06:01,908 Excuse me. What's up? 876 01:06:02,047 --> 01:06:04,965 The Arquillians want the galaxy, whatever the hell that means. 877 01:06:05,050 --> 01:06:06,888 We need help, a professional. 878 01:06:07,019 --> 01:06:09,830 Somebody with years of experience in intergalactic politics. 879 01:06:10,457 --> 01:06:13,093 I just hope the little prick hasn't skipped town. 880 01:06:13,093 --> 01:06:15,346 May I hae your attention? Thank you. 881 01:06:15,562 --> 01:06:17,506 If you'll gather oer here. 882 01:06:17,630 --> 01:06:20,925 That's right, moe in closer. That's good. 883 01:06:20,925 --> 01:06:24,045 If you look right here, I'd appreciate it. Thank you. 884 01:06:37,308 --> 01:06:39,882 That's the worse disguise ever. He's obviously an alien. 885 01:06:40,311 --> 01:06:43,194 You don't like it, you can kiss my furry little butt. 886 01:06:43,714 --> 01:06:44,579 You busy, Frank? 887 01:06:44,882 --> 01:06:47,349 Can't talk now. My flight's leaving in-- 888 01:06:47,452 --> 01:06:48,317 - Get your paws off me! 889 01:06:48,486 --> 01:06:49,839 - Call the pound! We got a stray. 890 01:06:49,987 --> 01:06:52,276 The dog owes my friend money. 891 01:06:52,390 --> 01:06:54,015 Arquillians and bugs, Frank, what do you know? 892 01:06:54,158 --> 01:06:55,510 - Nothing. - Nothing? 893 01:06:58,396 --> 01:07:01,101 Stop it. Stop it. Okay. Okay. 894 01:07:01,232 --> 01:07:03,629 Rosenberg wasn't some two-bit Arquillian. 895 01:07:03,734 --> 01:07:07,174 He was the guardian of a whole galaxy. They thought he'd be safe on Earth. 896 01:07:07,238 --> 01:07:08,342 The bug had other plans. 897 01:07:08,506 --> 01:07:12,469 The galaxy is the best source for subatomic energy in the universe. 898 01:07:12,510 --> 01:07:15,428 If the bugs get their slimy claws on it, kiss the Arquillians good-bye. 899 01:07:15,513 --> 01:07:16,866 Ask about the belt. 900 01:07:17,014 --> 01:07:19,647 Rosenberg mentioned a galaxy on Orion's belt. 901 01:07:19,750 --> 01:07:20,758 - What's he mean? - Beats me. 902 01:07:22,386 --> 01:07:23,560 Not around. 903 01:07:26,457 --> 01:07:28,604 They're rehearsing a ventriloquist act. 904 01:07:28,726 --> 01:07:30,707 The galaxy is here! 905 01:07:31,429 --> 01:07:32,295 What do you mean ''here''? 906 01:07:32,463 --> 01:07:35,203 Galaxy's millions of stars and planets. How's it here? 907 01:07:35,299 --> 01:07:37,932 You humans! When will you learn size doesn't matter? 908 01:07:38,302 --> 01:07:41,457 Just because something's important, doesn't mean it's not very small. 909 01:07:41,639 --> 01:07:42,743 - How small? 910 01:07:42,907 --> 01:07:45,054 - Tiny. Like a marble or a jewel. 911 01:07:45,476 --> 01:07:48,251 If you'll excuse me, I gotta be walked before my flight. 912 01:07:48,412 --> 01:07:49,277 All right. Get out of here. 913 01:07:51,816 --> 01:07:55,292 If the galaxy's here, it's not on Orion's belt. 914 01:08:15,439 --> 01:08:17,586 Boy, when you want attention-- 915 01:08:18,976 --> 01:08:19,841 Orion. 916 01:08:20,011 --> 01:08:21,849 That's a pretty name. 917 01:08:22,280 --> 01:08:23,905 What's this? 918 01:09:18,336 --> 01:09:20,554 Yes, good, thank you. 919 01:09:20,671 --> 01:09:24,040 Thank you for making sure the bell works. 920 01:09:26,510 --> 01:09:28,242 What's up, FarmerJohn? 921 01:09:29,747 --> 01:09:32,451 A man came in here earlier. 922 01:09:32,917 --> 01:09:33,818 A dead man. 923 01:09:34,019 --> 01:09:36,035 And that means what to me? 924 01:09:38,021 --> 01:09:40,975 It was a very dear friend of mine. 925 01:09:41,592 --> 01:09:43,810 I believe he had an animal with him. 926 01:09:43,928 --> 01:09:46,598 It was a gift I gave him. A pet cat. 927 01:09:46,697 --> 01:09:48,464 It means worlds to me. 928 01:09:48,599 --> 01:09:50,472 I'd like to have it back. 929 01:09:50,601 --> 01:09:52,474 I'm gonna need a picture I.D... 930 01:09:52,603 --> 01:09:54,132 written proof of ownership of the cat... 931 01:09:54,272 --> 01:09:57,950 notarized proof of kinship with...the deceased. 932 01:09:58,776 --> 01:10:00,270 Don't do that. 933 01:10:01,946 --> 01:10:03,050 Do what? 934 01:10:04,215 --> 01:10:05,769 Don't do it. 935 01:10:08,286 --> 01:10:09,674 Oh, man. 936 01:10:15,293 --> 01:10:16,229 937 01:10:25,303 --> 01:10:27,699 - Look, Kay, let me handle this one. - What? 938 01:10:27,805 --> 01:10:30,829 All we gotta do is get a cat. It's not really that hard. 939 01:10:30,908 --> 01:10:35,391 But if you go in, you'll lay yourJack Webb on her.Flash your brain ray all in her face. 940 01:10:35,413 --> 01:10:37,181 She'll wind up with leukemia. 941 01:10:37,315 --> 01:10:41,277 She's a doctor. She don't need you flashing away her med school classes. 942 01:10:41,319 --> 01:10:42,707 - Five minutes. - Two minutes. 943 01:10:45,156 --> 01:10:46,259 - Where's the animal? 944 01:10:46,424 --> 01:10:48,013 - I told you I don't know. 945 01:10:48,159 --> 01:10:49,369 Let's see if we can find it. 946 01:10:55,833 --> 01:10:56,971 Hello! 947 01:11:06,177 --> 01:11:07,387 Hello! 948 01:11:11,782 --> 01:11:12,991 - How you doing? - Hello. 949 01:11:13,517 --> 01:11:16,613 I'm Sergeant Friday, from the 26th precinct. 950 01:11:16,687 --> 01:11:19,427 A cat came in with a corpse the other day. 951 01:11:19,523 --> 01:11:21,741 - ''Orion'' on the name tag. - Yes, that's right. 952 01:11:21,859 --> 01:11:23,768 This cat is a... 953 01:11:24,528 --> 01:11:25,536 a witness 954 01:11:25,696 --> 01:11:26,949 in a murder case.I'm gonna need to take him, 955 01:11:26,949 --> 01:11:28,366 ask him a few questions. 956 01:11:28,366 --> 01:11:30,026 - I don't know where the cat is. 957 01:11:30,201 --> 01:11:31,589 - You don't? 958 01:11:32,035 --> 01:11:34,882 No, but maybe you could take me with you instead. 959 01:11:36,807 --> 01:11:39,903 Damn, you do start fast, don't you? 960 01:11:39,977 --> 01:11:41,886 I'd really like to go with you... 961 01:11:42,146 --> 01:11:43,177 now. 962 01:11:44,081 --> 01:11:46,583 And exactly why is that? 963 01:11:53,758 --> 01:11:55,834 There's something I need to show you. 964 01:11:56,327 --> 01:11:57,359 Slow down, girl. 965 01:11:57,561 --> 01:12:01,001 You ain't got to hit the gas like that. 966 01:12:01,065 --> 01:12:03,390 You don't understand. You really need to see this. 967 01:12:03,501 --> 01:12:08,365 I will, I will. One thing, I got to drive. It's not some macho trip. 968 01:12:08,739 --> 01:12:10,815 I'm saying that's the way I get down. 969 01:12:21,919 --> 01:12:24,350 Look, stud, you're really not getting this. 970 01:12:24,455 --> 01:12:26,743 There's something I need you to help me with. 971 01:12:38,702 --> 01:12:39,912 - Freeze it, bug! 972 01:12:40,104 --> 01:12:41,242 - Christ, you are thick! 973 01:12:41,439 --> 01:12:42,613 - How was I to know? 974 01:12:42,807 --> 01:12:44,052 - Should I have sung it for you? 975 01:12:44,208 --> 01:12:45,868 If you weren't coming on like-- 976 01:12:46,043 --> 01:12:50,111 That is so typical. A woman shows a hint of sexual independence-- 977 01:12:50,147 --> 01:12:51,012 - Shut up! 978 01:12:51,182 --> 01:12:52,048 - Let her go, shiteater. 979 01:12:52,216 --> 01:12:54,125 Listen, monkey-boy. 980 01:12:54,285 --> 01:12:57,619 Compared to you humans, I'm on the top rung of the evolutionary ladder. 981 01:12:57,721 --> 01:12:58,860 - So can it. 982 01:12:59,056 --> 01:13:01,689 - You're breaking my heart.Show me your face and I'll cure all your ills. 983 01:13:01,859 --> 01:13:05,405 Ever pull wings off a fly? Care to see the fly get even? 984 01:13:05,463 --> 01:13:06,957 How far can you go with no ship? 985 01:13:07,131 --> 01:13:10,155 If that's what you call that space trash we got locked in the office. 986 01:13:10,234 --> 01:13:12,807 - Put your weapons down! - Never going to happen, insect. 987 01:13:12,903 --> 01:13:13,768 - It's okay. 988 01:13:14,071 --> 01:13:15,660 - How is it okay? 989 01:13:15,806 --> 01:13:18,024 I'm saying it's going to be okay. 990 01:13:18,175 --> 01:13:20,156 Don't bet on it, meat sack. 991 01:13:29,820 --> 01:13:31,480 Let me go! 992 01:13:42,333 --> 01:13:43,649 Go on! 993 01:13:47,605 --> 01:13:48,958 - Take me here. 994 01:13:49,106 --> 01:13:49,971 - No way. 995 01:13:51,475 --> 01:13:52,340 Take me! 996 01:14:10,360 --> 01:14:11,226 He's in a cab! 997 01:14:33,651 --> 01:14:36,154 Don't move! Don't move! Don't move! 998 01:14:37,073 --> 01:14:38,805 Hey, man, what? 999 01:14:49,400 --> 01:14:51,202 He's not leaving the planet in a cab. 1000 01:14:51,335 --> 01:14:52,200 Let's go. 1001 01:14:57,074 --> 01:14:59,920 Come with me. Put up a bio-net all the way around Manhattan. 1002 01:15:00,010 --> 01:15:02,442 If it's not human, I don't want it to leave this island. 1003 01:15:03,681 --> 01:15:05,378 What do we hear from our friends upstairs? 1004 01:15:05,516 --> 01:15:06,939 Same thing. '' Deliver the galaxy.'' 1005 01:15:07,084 --> 01:15:10,073 The bug has the galaxy but we have his ship. He's looking for a way out. 1006 01:15:13,123 --> 01:15:16,563 Warning. Protonic fusion detection. 1007 01:15:21,065 --> 01:15:23,496 1008 01:15:23,601 --> 01:15:25,261 What the hell they shooting at us for? 1009 01:15:25,402 --> 01:15:26,268 Battle rules, kid. 1010 01:15:26,437 --> 01:15:30,885 First, we get an ultimatum...then a warning shot, then a galactic standard week to respond. 1011 01:15:31,275 --> 01:15:33,944 A galactic standard week? How long is that? 1012 01:15:34,044 --> 01:15:35,147 One hour. 1013 01:15:35,546 --> 01:15:36,755 One hour? 1014 01:15:37,214 --> 01:15:38,317 Then what? 1015 01:15:40,985 --> 01:15:45,019 1016 01:15:45,055 --> 01:15:49,254 That's bullshit. Kid, to keep the bugs from getting it, the Arquillians will destroy the galaxy. 1017 01:15:49,293 --> 01:15:50,681 And whatever planet it's on. 1018 01:15:52,896 --> 01:15:54,485 - You're talking about us. 1019 01:15:54,632 --> 01:15:56,127 - Sucks, huh? 1020 01:15:58,636 --> 01:16:01,661 I'm getting the location of every interstellar vehicle within . 00 miles. 1021 01:16:01,739 --> 01:16:04,027 I already did. Frank took the last ship. 1022 01:16:04,141 --> 01:16:07,095 - Snedens Landing and Throg's Neck. - They're gone. 1023 01:16:07,177 --> 01:16:08,316 - Atlantic City. - Adios. 1024 01:16:08,479 --> 01:16:10,008 - Bayonne? - Gone. 1025 01:16:10,147 --> 01:16:12,887 - There's Three Mile Island. - Gone. 1026 01:16:12,983 --> 01:16:15,165 - Y'all. - Staten Island?- Gone, thank God. - Fellas! 1027 01:16:15,486 --> 01:16:18,855 We're running out of time. If the bug leaves with the galaxy-- 1028 01:16:18,922 --> 01:16:20,761 Hey, old guys! 1029 01:16:25,663 --> 01:16:27,395 Do those still work? 1030 01:16:42,846 --> 01:16:44,863 - You're coming with me. - What? 1031 01:16:45,449 --> 01:16:47,251 It's a long trip. I'll need a snack. 1032 01:16:47,251 --> 01:16:48,389 It's a long trip. I'll need a snack. 1033 01:16:54,191 --> 01:16:55,365 Wait, the tunnel? 1034 01:16:55,526 --> 01:16:57,435 - You know a better way to Queens? 1035 01:16:57,561 --> 01:16:58,462 - It's gonna be packed. 1036 01:16:58,629 --> 01:17:00,705 1037 01:17:11,875 --> 01:17:13,263 - Remember the little red button? - Yeah. 1038 01:17:13,811 --> 01:17:15,507 Push the red button. 1039 01:17:16,146 --> 01:17:17,640 You may want to wear a seat belt. 1040 01:17:30,160 --> 01:17:32,865 You're much too tense. You're a young man. 1041 01:17:32,963 --> 01:17:34,872 You need to relax. Learn to take some joy in your work. 1042 01:17:34,998 --> 01:17:36,208 You like music? 1043 01:17:36,400 --> 01:17:37,503 1044 01:17:37,668 --> 01:17:38,771 Man! 1045 01:17:40,337 --> 01:17:41,440 That's better. 1046 01:18:12,936 --> 01:18:14,810 You do know Elvis is dead? 1047 01:18:14,938 --> 01:18:17,536 No, Elvis is not dead. He just went home. 1048 01:18:32,790 --> 01:18:34,379 You don't want to eat me. 1049 01:18:34,558 --> 01:18:37,547 I'm important on my planet. A queen! 1050 01:18:37,628 --> 01:18:41,233 A goddess, even. There are those who worship me. 1051 01:18:41,331 --> 01:18:44,321 I'm not trying to impress you.Just letting you know it could start a war! 1052 01:18:44,968 --> 01:18:47,638 Good, war. That means more food for my family. 1053 01:18:47,738 --> 01:18:51,284 All 7 8 million of them.- That's a lot of mouths to feed. 1054 01:18:51,341 --> 01:18:54,082 - Wonderful, but I'm staying here! 1055 01:19:15,599 --> 01:19:17,852 Now, that's what I'm talking about. 1056 01:19:19,036 --> 01:19:20,945 Roaches check in. 1057 01:19:23,040 --> 01:19:24,214 But they don't check out. 1058 01:19:29,046 --> 01:19:30,255 Warning. 1059 01:19:30,614 --> 01:19:33,117 Eight minutes to the destruction of Earth. 1060 01:19:34,785 --> 01:19:36,173 Eight minutes 1061 01:19:36,320 --> 01:19:37,672 to destruction. 1062 01:20:22,766 --> 01:20:25,791 We'll use pulsar level 5, with a sub-sonic implosion factor. 1063 01:20:25,869 --> 01:20:27,043 What? 1064 01:20:27,404 --> 01:20:30,286 Just shoot the damn thing on the count of three. One... 1065 01:20:30,374 --> 01:20:32,141 two, three. 1066 01:21:32,336 --> 01:21:33,960 You idiots! 1067 01:21:35,172 --> 01:21:37,081 You don't get it! 1068 01:21:37,240 --> 01:21:38,105 I've won. 1069 01:21:38,909 --> 01:21:39,042 It's over 1070 01:21:39,042 --> 01:21:40,810 It's over. . 1071 01:21:41,178 --> 01:21:43,159 You milk suckers! 1072 01:21:43,747 --> 01:21:45,407 You don't matter. 1073 01:21:45,682 --> 01:21:48,280 In a few seconds, you won't even be matter. 1074 01:21:48,417 --> 01:21:51,442 You're under arrest for violating sections of the Tycho Treaty. 1075 01:21:51,521 --> 01:21:54,261 So hand over whatever galaxy you are carrying and step away... 1076 01:21:54,358 --> 01:21:57,204 from your busted-ass vehicle and put your hands on your head. 1077 01:22:02,032 --> 01:22:03,941 I'll put my hands... 1078 01:22:06,436 --> 01:22:07,716 on my head. 1079 01:22:12,109 --> 01:22:13,140 Like this? 1080 01:22:42,406 --> 01:22:44,695 That did not go at all how I'd planned. 1081 01:22:44,808 --> 01:22:46,505 Whatever happens, don't let him on the second ship. 1082 01:22:46,643 --> 01:22:49,739 - What are you talking about? - Keep him on this planet. 1083 01:22:49,813 --> 01:22:51,889 Kay, where are you going? 1084 01:22:52,416 --> 01:22:54,325 I'm getting my gun back. 1085 01:22:57,087 --> 01:22:57,953 Hey, bug! 1086 01:22:58,155 --> 01:23:01,251 You know how many of your kind I've swatted with a newspaper? 1087 01:23:01,324 --> 01:23:03,993 You're nothing but a smear on the sports page to me... 1088 01:23:04,094 --> 01:23:07,119 you slimy, gut-sucking, intestinal parasite! 1089 01:23:07,497 --> 01:23:08,955 Eat me! 1090 01:23:09,266 --> 01:23:10,546 Eat me! 1091 01:23:28,785 --> 01:23:29,685 What's up? 1092 01:23:30,287 --> 01:23:33,656 You just going to eat and run, huh? What about dessert? 1093 01:23:39,463 --> 01:23:40,922 That's it? 1094 01:23:41,298 --> 01:23:43,587 Where you going? This party's just getting started. 1095 01:23:45,535 --> 01:23:46,922 Where're you going? 1096 01:23:47,871 --> 01:23:49,603 Where you going? 1097 01:23:50,707 --> 01:23:51,917 Listen. 1098 01:23:52,074 --> 01:23:55,621 There's one way off this planet, baby, and that's through me. 1099 01:24:39,089 --> 01:24:40,583 Where're you going? 1100 01:24:41,358 --> 01:24:42,983 Why you runnin', huh? 1101 01:24:43,360 --> 01:24:45,163 I'm still standing. 1102 01:24:45,695 --> 01:24:47,771 Come on. Bring it. Bring it. 1103 01:25:07,551 --> 01:25:10,148 I'm sorry. Was that your auntie? 1104 01:25:12,255 --> 01:25:14,164 That must mean that's your uncle, huh? 1105 01:25:17,059 --> 01:25:18,412 You know you all look alike. 1106 01:25:26,736 --> 01:25:28,645 Well, well. 1107 01:25:28,805 --> 01:25:32,446 Big bad bug got a bit of a soft spot, huh? 1108 01:25:35,979 --> 01:25:38,162 What I can't understand is why you... 1109 01:25:38,315 --> 01:25:42,799 got to come down here bringing all this ruckus.Snatching up galaxies and everything. 1110 01:25:43,920 --> 01:25:48,226 My attitude is, don't start nothing, won't be nothing. 1111 01:25:54,331 --> 01:25:57,914 You need to ease up out my face before something bad happen to you. 1112 01:26:00,103 --> 01:26:01,206 Too late. 1113 01:26:30,867 --> 01:26:33,440 Call the Arquillians. Tell them we have the galaxy. 1114 01:26:33,536 --> 01:26:35,445 You got it, friend. 1115 01:26:37,040 --> 01:26:39,258 Going to get your gun back, huh? 1116 01:26:39,376 --> 01:26:40,930 I like this gun. 1117 01:26:42,812 --> 01:26:46,252 While you were in there playing around, I was here doing all the work. 1118 01:26:46,316 --> 01:26:49,412 First, I had to bean him in the head with this big rock. 1119 01:26:49,486 --> 01:26:51,254 Then I was going to hit him with a two-by-four. 1120 01:26:51,420 --> 01:26:53,080 He kicked me. You know, it hurt. 1121 01:26:53,223 --> 01:26:55,821 Then I got the fire. I was ''yah'' with the fire. 1122 01:26:56,226 --> 01:26:58,658 Not bad for your second day of work, is it? 1123 01:26:59,529 --> 01:27:03,004 This definitely rates about a 9.0 on my weird-shit-o-meter. 1124 01:27:03,300 --> 01:27:07,190 Should've been here for the Zeronion migration in . 968. 1125 01:27:09,639 --> 01:27:12,414 I guess you weren't even alive in '68. 1126 01:27:17,981 --> 01:27:20,484 Interesting job you guys have. 1127 01:27:36,732 --> 01:27:39,306 Look, I know we got rules and everything, but... 1128 01:27:39,402 --> 01:27:41,169 she did help us bust that bug. 1129 01:27:41,304 --> 01:27:44,115 Maybe we don't have to flashy thing her. 1130 01:27:45,675 --> 01:27:49,008 Come on. Who she gonna tell? She hang out with all dead people. 1131 01:27:49,079 --> 01:27:50,847 It's not for her. 1132 01:27:51,014 --> 01:27:52,046 It's for me. 1133 01:27:54,017 --> 01:27:55,405 What? 1134 01:27:57,520 --> 01:27:58,836 They're beautiful, aren't they? 1135 01:28:00,557 --> 01:28:01,423 Stars. 1136 01:28:02,025 --> 01:28:05,181 I never look at them anymore, but they actually are quite... 1137 01:28:07,864 --> 01:28:08,967 beautiful. 1138 01:28:14,604 --> 01:28:16,300 Kay, you're frightening your partner. 1139 01:28:16,439 --> 01:28:19,665 I haven't been training a partner. I've been training a replacement. 1140 01:28:20,610 --> 01:28:22,342 Wait a minute, Kay. 1141 01:28:22,779 --> 01:28:25,175 I cannot do this job by myself. 1142 01:28:25,281 --> 01:28:28,128 Hey, guys. My apartment isn't anywhere near here. 1143 01:28:28,218 --> 01:28:30,199 It's not even on the same island. 1144 01:28:31,554 --> 01:28:32,419 Days... 1145 01:28:32,889 --> 01:28:34,169 months... 1146 01:28:34,391 --> 01:28:35,601 years. 1147 01:28:35,892 --> 01:28:37,624 Always face it forward. 1148 01:28:47,237 --> 01:28:49,633 I've just been down the gullet of an interstellar cockroach, kid. 1149 01:28:49,739 --> 01:28:52,514 That's one of a hundred memories that I don't want. 1150 01:29:09,659 --> 01:29:11,047 See you around,Jay. 1151 01:29:17,267 --> 01:29:18,477 No... 1152 01:29:18,802 --> 01:29:19,668 you won't. 1153 01:29:22,839 --> 01:29:27,986 1154 01:29:28,111 --> 01:29:30,507 1155 01:29:30,613 --> 01:29:33,116 1156 01:29:33,349 --> 01:29:35,567 1157 01:29:35,685 --> 01:29:37,938 1158 01:29:56,372 --> 01:29:59,326 Zed called. The Solaxiant 9 consulate 1159 01:29:59,408 --> 01:30:00,867 wants floor seats for the Knicks game. 1160 01:30:01,010 --> 01:30:03,750 Put in a call for Dennis Rodman, he's from that planet. 1161 01:30:05,815 --> 01:30:07,547 Rodman? You're kidding. 1162 01:30:07,717 --> 01:30:08,855 Nope. 1163 01:30:09,385 --> 01:30:11,461 Not much of a disguise.