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LARS: Hold your end up higher.
You're not holding it.
4
00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:10,694
I am, too.
5
00:01:10,778 --> 00:01:13,697
-You are not.
-Don't worry about me.
6
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,202
Hey, isn't that suit charcoal?
7
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,162
No.
8
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:23,582
ERNIE: Looks charcoal gray to me.
Some gray polyester blend.
9
00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:25,626
You'd think
you could find a black suit
10
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:27,503
for your own father's funeral.
11
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:30,006
-It's black.
-No. I'm sure it's gray.
12
00:01:30,089 --> 00:01:31,131
-It's black.
-Gray.
13
00:01:31,215 --> 00:01:32,216
-Black.
-Gray.
14
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,301
-Black.
-Fine, it's black.
15
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:37,263
It's the grayest black I've ever seen.
16
00:01:37,346 --> 00:01:39,181
It doesn't matter what color it is!
17
00:01:39,348 --> 00:01:40,349
(GROANS)
18
00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:43,393
(THUNDERCLAP)
19
00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:46,272
I'm sorry, Pop. I'm sorry!
20
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:00,953
Quick! Get him out of there!
21
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:03,330
He's halfway to the harbor
by now, bub.
22
00:02:03,914 --> 00:02:04,915
Oh, well.
23
00:04:10,374 --> 00:04:14,544
LAWYER: "I leave you
not just a model factory,
24
00:04:14,628 --> 00:04:18,256
"but something
infinitely more valuable.
25
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:20,968
"The future of string...
26
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:23,720
"itself.
27
00:04:23,804 --> 00:04:25,639
(EXPLOSIONS)
28
00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:27,224
(WORKERS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
29
00:04:33,647 --> 00:04:37,192
"And thus, it is my dying wish
30
00:04:37,276 --> 00:04:40,862
"that my two sons
run Smuntz String together."
31
00:04:40,946 --> 00:04:43,365
Great. Let's stick
a "For Sale" sign up on the lawn
32
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,533
and see what we can get.
33
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:48,245
Ernie, we're not supposed to sell it.
We're supposed to run it. Together.
34
00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:51,248
Either way,
this godforsaken museum piece
35
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,584
-is not worth a dime. Now, is it, Lars?
-(SIGHS)
36
00:04:53,667 --> 00:04:56,503
Some things are more important
than money, Ernie.
37
00:04:56,587 --> 00:05:00,299
Notice it's always the financially
challenged who say that.
38
00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:02,009
Please, please.
39
00:05:03,385 --> 00:05:06,846
"I also bequeath to you
my personal effects,
40
00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:11,143
"including my ceramic egg,
41
00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:17,650
"half box of Cuban cigars.. ."
42
00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:19,526
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
43
00:05:20,861 --> 00:05:23,488
"My collection of spoons." (CHUCKLES)
44
00:05:23,989 --> 00:05:24,990
(SPOONS CLATTER)
45
00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:28,744
ERNIE: My goodness, what a treasure.
What a legacy.
46
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:33,874
Spoons! Spoons!
So many spoons, so little time.
47
00:05:34,708 --> 00:05:38,253
Oh. And, of course, something
no household should be without.
48
00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:40,130
The ceramic egg ! (LAUGHS)
49
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:43,133
Can I have the egg? Can I, huh? Huh?
50
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:47,805
-No, I want you to have it.
-Fine, I'll take it!
51
00:05:47,888 --> 00:05:50,223
Look, if you find any real estate
on that desk, you let me know.
52
00:05:50,307 --> 00:05:53,768
Well, it seems there is also a house.
53
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:56,772
-A house?
-Yes, "5120 Nortondale."
54
00:05:58,065 --> 00:06:02,565
Your father acquired it
many years ago as payment of a debt.
55
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:06,574
He never lived there,
but it's interesting.
56
00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:11,157
It seems the previous owner was found
locked in a trunk in the attic.
57
00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:14,164
Wait a minute. Is it worth anything?
58
00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:17,960
Well, he was able to borrow $50,000
against it to pay his workers.
59
00:06:18,043 --> 00:06:19,919
Really? So, what is its value today?
60
00:06:21,213 --> 00:06:22,422
Fifty thousand dollars.
61
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:24,925
Great.
62
00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:27,428
A worthless house
and a broken-down string factory.
63
00:06:28,178 --> 00:06:31,890
Oh, well, at least
the day wasn't a total loss.
64
00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:33,684
Thanks for the stogies, Pop.
65
00:06:35,477 --> 00:06:37,270
Wait. You can't go, Ernie.
66
00:06:37,354 --> 00:06:38,938
We have to go through
all these papers.
67
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,528
You'll have to excuse me.
68
00:06:46,071 --> 00:06:47,572
I've got a date with the Mayor.
69
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,160
-(THUNDER RUMBLES)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
70
00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:56,957
REPORTER: Mr. Mayor!
Mr. Mayor, over here! Mr. Mayor!
71
00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:59,209
Mr. Mayor, do you think
your recent triple heart bypass
72
00:06:59,293 --> 00:07:00,544
will affect your campaign strategy?
73
00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:02,254
Now, Leslie, I'm just here to eat.
74
00:07:04,506 --> 00:07:09,006
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Monsieur le maire,
madame maire, welcome to Chez Ernie.
75
00:07:09,803 --> 00:07:13,264
What an honor it is to have you
in my humble bistro.
76
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:14,683
Suivez-moi.
77
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:18,020
Oh, you brought the little ones.
The little bicycle thieves.
78
00:07:18,103 --> 00:07:20,980
Bonjour! Our very best table.
79
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:23,108
-Have you lost a little weight?
-I...
80
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:25,777
I think so! I think you may be buff.
81
00:07:25,861 --> 00:07:27,112
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
82
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,867
-(IN ENGLISH) You know what I mean?
-Oh, Monsieur Ernie!
83
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,536
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
84
00:07:37,873 --> 00:07:38,915
(SIGHS)
85
00:07:38,999 --> 00:07:41,251
(NORMAL VOICE) The air's not so thin
at the top.
86
00:07:43,462 --> 00:07:46,047
Just like the old man to die
before I hit it big.
87
00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:53,805
Remember, everyone.
Attention to detail is vital!
88
00:07:53,889 --> 00:07:57,475
Presentation is everything.
89
00:07:58,435 --> 00:08:02,105
No, no, no!
These I must deliver myself.
90
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:14,910
Duck a l'Orange avec du quack sauce.
91
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:18,831
And for ze Mayor,
la specialité de la maison,
92
00:08:18,914 --> 00:08:22,375
Lobster Loaf à la Ernest
ou la bibliotheque.
93
00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:24,169
Bon appetit.
94
00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:25,963
(EXHALES)
95
00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:29,508
Ah, bonjour!
96
00:08:29,591 --> 00:08:31,134
Chef Ernie,
how does it feel to be serving
97
00:08:31,218 --> 00:08:33,136
the Mayor on the eve
of his campaign re-election?
98
00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:36,431
-Well, Leslie. May I call you Leslie?
-Of course.
99
00:08:40,769 --> 00:08:44,481
Crunchy! I love the almonds.
100
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:47,734
Leslie, cuisine,
she is a fickle mistress...
101
00:08:48,318 --> 00:08:50,236
Ew, look!
102
00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:53,072
A cockroach!
103
00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:54,283
(ALL GASPING)
104
00:08:54,366 --> 00:08:56,076
(REPORTERS CHATTERING)
105
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,662
That's only half a cockroach.
106
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:01,415
Daddy! You ate the head!
107
00:09:01,498 --> 00:09:03,082
Honey, are you okay?
108
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:04,668
(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
109
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:10,257
(GASPING)
110
00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:16,137
(SCREAMS)
111
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:17,973
Not again!
112
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,601
REPORTER 1 : Was this an accident
or murder...
113
00:09:21,518 --> 00:09:23,102
-Clear!
-(DEFIBRILLATOR ZAPS)
114
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,564
GIRL: I can do that better!
115
00:09:25,647 --> 00:09:26,939
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
116
00:09:35,991 --> 00:09:39,577
MAN: Smuntz String
is a relic of history.
117
00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:44,332
You don't make string by twining
two strands together anymore.
118
00:09:44,416 --> 00:09:48,670
No. You make it simple,
singular, strong, with nylon.
119
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:51,339
But that's not string. That's cord.
120
00:09:51,423 --> 00:09:52,507
Exactly.
121
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:55,552
Twine is yesterday.
Single strong cord is today.
122
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:58,639
Zeppco International has been
interested in your factory for years,
123
00:09:58,722 --> 00:10:00,390
but your father refused to sell.
124
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,392
We're hoping
you would be a little smarter.
125
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:04,895
Zeppco is willing to buy you out
126
00:10:04,978 --> 00:10:08,147
and bring this museum
into the 21 st century.
127
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:10,567
Of course, we will keep you on
as a string consultant,
128
00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:12,986
with a huge salary
and a hefty pension.
129
00:10:14,446 --> 00:10:15,447
-So.. .
-Well...
130
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,118
What do you say?
131
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:25,207
(GROANS)
132
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:43,308
-My sons.. .
-Ernie.
133
00:10:44,726 --> 00:10:47,979
-Ernie!
-Yeah. Just a sec.
134
00:10:48,063 --> 00:10:52,563
I want you to have something.
135
00:10:52,734 --> 00:10:55,862
My most prized possession.
136
00:10:57,197 --> 00:10:59,741
Oh, it's a piece of string.
137
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:04,325
Not just any string. The string.
138
00:11:05,038 --> 00:11:09,538
I found it my first day in America.
139
00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:10,711
What's with the string?
140
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,547
It's been in my pocket for 60 years.
141
00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:16,716
Here! I want you two to share it.
142
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,595
Maybe it'll bring you closer together.
143
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:24,307
-You haven't talked much lately.
-Yeah.
144
00:11:24,391 --> 00:11:27,560
-(GRUNTS) What are you doing?
-ERNIE: I'm breaking it in half.
145
00:11:27,644 --> 00:11:28,895
-No!
-No?
146
00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:31,189
I want you to share it.
147
00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:34,192
-Forever.
-Sure, Pop, sure.
148
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:36,903
Here. You carry it the first 50 years,
I'll take the next.
149
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,030
Sure.
150
00:11:38,113 --> 00:11:40,240
And turn up
the morphine drip a little.
151
00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:42,075
RUDOLPH: I heard that.
152
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:49,499
Promise me that you will never sell
153
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:52,836
Smuntz String
154
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,923
to one of those big conglomerates.
155
00:11:56,006 --> 00:12:00,506
Keep it between you... brothers, family.
156
00:12:02,095 --> 00:12:03,096
Promise.
157
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:05,223
I promise, Pop.
158
00:12:06,516 --> 00:12:09,852
-I promise.
-So, you were saying?
159
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:12,981
I'll have to pass.
160
00:12:14,107 --> 00:12:15,108
What?
161
00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:20,989
"A world without string is chaos."
162
00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:23,659
(PANTING)
163
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:26,703
For once the Smuntz name
was worth something!
164
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:28,038
LARS: No, no! Don't!
165
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,626
You used to love string!
166
00:12:32,709 --> 00:12:33,835
That was before,
167
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:37,088
when I was dating the son
of a wealthy string magnate!
168
00:12:37,172 --> 00:12:38,173
Not now,
169
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:42,219
when I am married to the half-owner
of a worthless deathtrap!
170
00:12:44,137 --> 00:12:47,348
I thought you'd be happy!
I stood up for myself today!
171
00:12:48,308 --> 00:12:50,435
April, I've got new ideas
for the factory.
172
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,020
You know, I've got big plans!
173
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,106
Don't you see, Lars?
174
00:12:54,189 --> 00:12:56,941
That's all you've ever had are plans.
175
00:12:57,025 --> 00:13:01,525
But my life is passing me by,
and I need more!
176
00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:04,824
There's no air
in the middle class, Lars.
177
00:13:04,908 --> 00:13:06,659
I can't breathe here.
178
00:13:06,743 --> 00:13:08,077
Please, April, don't go.
179
00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:10,872
(SCOFFS) I'm not going anywhere.
180
00:13:28,181 --> 00:13:31,934
In a few brief moments,
the joy of the holidays was shattered
181
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:34,312
and the world changed for many people.
182
00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:37,399
Mayor McKrinkle died
this afternoon at 4:30 p.m.
183
00:13:37,482 --> 00:13:39,609
at Our Lady of Sorrows Hospital.
184
00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:43,697
Doctors here say the official cause
of death is heart failure
185
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:46,574
due to the Mayor's recent
culinary disaster.
186
00:13:46,658 --> 00:13:49,994
And once the hottest restaurants
on the wharf, Chez Ernie
187
00:13:50,078 --> 00:13:51,287
has been condemned and...
188
00:13:51,371 --> 00:13:53,206
Excuse me, I'm sorry,
189
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:56,418
I don't think I ordered
my cheese sandwich with capers.
190
00:13:56,501 --> 00:13:58,461
NEWSREADER: (OVER TV) We go live
to Leslie Reinhart for more updates.
191
00:13:58,545 --> 00:13:59,587
LARS: I'm sorry.
192
00:13:59,671 --> 00:14:02,674
If there is a villain in this tragedy,
it is Ernie Smuntz.
193
00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:05,927
WAITRESS: Hey, Ernie.
You're on the TV again!
194
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,929
What? Oh.
195
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:10,682
You know what this is? I'll tell ya.
196
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,435
-Guilt by accusation.
-No capers.
197
00:14:13,935 --> 00:14:15,186
No capers?
198
00:14:15,270 --> 00:14:17,188
But that's just grilled cheese.
What's the point?
199
00:14:17,272 --> 00:14:19,148
Why don't they eat out of a trough?
200
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:22,110
All right, which one of you
palateless sheep
201
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:23,445
sent my sandwich back?
202
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,073
-Hi, Ernie!
-Lars?
203
00:14:29,826 --> 00:14:31,202
ERNIE: When I'm in the kitchen, I cook.
204
00:14:31,286 --> 00:14:34,330
I can't control every single thing
that goes on in there.
205
00:14:34,414 --> 00:14:37,542
LARS: You know, it really isn't fair
for everybody to blame you.
206
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,085
You didn't do anything wrong.
207
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:42,797
ERNIE: Yes. But society always needs
somebody to persecute,
208
00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:47,381
a scapegoat, someone to demonize.
The same thing happened to Galileo.
209
00:14:47,552 --> 00:14:49,762
LARS: Really? That's unbelievable.
210
00:14:50,430 --> 00:14:52,056
With a cockroach and everything?
211
00:14:52,849 --> 00:14:53,975
No.
212
00:14:54,601 --> 00:14:57,395
The point is, I put everything I had
into that restaurant.
213
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,731
It was my livelihood and my home.
214
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:03,151
In one fatal bite,
it was all taken away from me.
215
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,320
If only we could sell the factory.
216
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:09,904
I'd let you stay with me, you know,
but April threw me out.
217
00:15:10,992 --> 00:15:12,159
Oh, that's too bad.
218
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:15,246
Yeah, well, don't worry about me,
though Ernie.
219
00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:16,497
This is temporary.
220
00:15:16,581 --> 00:15:18,207
April's been like this
since high school.
221
00:15:18,291 --> 00:15:20,209
She'll be back. I...
222
00:15:20,293 --> 00:15:24,793
Would you look at that?
Sleeping in the street. Pitiful.
223
00:15:27,717 --> 00:15:30,344
If I had a house, I'd sleep in it!
224
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:33,849
LARS: Ernie, do you remember
how close we were as kids?
225
00:15:33,932 --> 00:15:34,933
ERNIE: No.
226
00:15:35,642 --> 00:15:37,727
Hey! Merry Christmas!
227
00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:41,815
Yeah, I was on top once, too.
228
00:15:41,898 --> 00:15:43,608
But there's only one way
to go from there,
229
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:46,653
and that's down, baby, down!
230
00:15:48,613 --> 00:15:50,156
-(COINS CLATTERING)
-(LARS SIGHS)
231
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,324
Ernie.
232
00:15:52,784 --> 00:15:56,746
Ernie, there was a quarter in there.
233
00:15:56,830 --> 00:16:00,542
-A quarter? You think so small, Lars.
-(CHOIR SINGING HYMN)
234
00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:02,668
Look at the bigger picture.
235
00:16:02,752 --> 00:16:05,546
You have no home, you have no wife,
you have no money.
236
00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:09,091
You have no discernible talents.
How can you ignore that?
237
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,053
Ernie, it's Christmas.
238
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,264
Instead of dwelling
on what we don't have,
239
00:16:15,348 --> 00:16:17,641
we should be thankful
for what we do have.
240
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:12,655
ERNIE: What a dump.
241
00:17:22,832 --> 00:17:26,001
(SIGHS) I can't believe
Pops never told us about this house.
242
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:29,172
It's huge.
243
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,676
ERNIE: This is just the kind of house
I'd expect him to have.
244
00:17:33,468 --> 00:17:35,887
It's just like him. Cold and spooky.
245
00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:38,681
(FAINT RUSTLING)
246
00:17:40,433 --> 00:17:44,270
-LARS: (GASPS) Did you feel that?
-What?
247
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:45,730
I got a chill.
248
00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:47,524
You shouldn't talk
about Pop like that.
249
00:17:48,066 --> 00:17:50,234
Really? What's this do for you?
250
00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:55,444
Thanks for nothing,
you string-sucking old loon!
251
00:17:57,450 --> 00:17:59,410
(SIGHS) He didn't mean it, Pop.
252
00:18:03,331 --> 00:18:04,874
Ernie! Ernie!
253
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:15,677
Only one bed. I'll flip you for it.
254
00:18:18,888 --> 00:18:19,889
Heads.
255
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,619
-(WOOD SCRAPING INTERMITTENTLY)
-Ernie?
256
00:18:43,371 --> 00:18:44,580
Ernie. Ernie.
257
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:46,458
(ERNIE GROANS)
258
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:51,045
-You asleep?
-(SIGHS) I was.
259
00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:52,463
How can you sleep through that?
260
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,800
-What? I don't hear anything.
-(SHUSHING) That.
261
00:18:56,968 --> 00:19:00,346
Listen. Hear it?
It's coming from upstairs.
262
00:19:01,681 --> 00:19:03,140
(SCRAPING CONTINUES)
263
00:19:05,143 --> 00:19:06,352
(DOOR CREAKS)
264
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:22,577
Mothballs.
265
00:19:25,705 --> 00:19:26,706
(BOTH SCREAMING)
266
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:29,626
Hey, stop it! Hey! (YOWLS)
267
00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:31,585
-(GROANS)
-(LARS WHIMPERING)
268
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:41,929
(WHISPERS) Ernie. Ernie.
269
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:43,682
(ERNIE GROANS)
270
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,767
(SIGHING)
271
00:19:47,727 --> 00:19:49,520
(METAL RATTLING)
272
00:19:52,565 --> 00:19:53,566
(ERNIE GRUNTS)
273
00:19:57,737 --> 00:19:59,739
(METAL CONTINUES RATTLING)
274
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:13,128
-(THUNDER CRASHES)
-(BOTH SCREAMING)
275
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,722
-Wait. Wait a minute. Stop. Stop!
-(STOPS SCREAMING)
276
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,474
-Look. Look, look, look.
-(PANTING)
277
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:28,017
It's only a toy.
278
00:20:33,606 --> 00:20:35,608
(SCREAMING)
279
00:20:36,317 --> 00:20:37,318
-Oh, shut up!
-(STOPS SCREAMING)
280
00:20:38,778 --> 00:20:40,780
(WOOD SCRAPING)
281
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:46,119
(WHISPERING) It's coming from up there!
282
00:20:49,789 --> 00:20:52,875
One, two, three!
283
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:55,503
-(GROANING)
-(GRUNTING)
284
00:20:58,965 --> 00:21:00,925
(PANTING) Oh!
285
00:21:01,801 --> 00:21:04,595
-It's just a mouse.
-What?
286
00:21:04,679 --> 00:21:07,765
It's just a mouse. Never mind.
287
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:08,933
(GRUNTING)
288
00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:11,394
Hey, there are some posters up here.
289
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:12,854
-(EXCLAIMING)
-Oh!
290
00:21:12,937 --> 00:21:14,313
Stand still!
291
00:21:15,648 --> 00:21:17,608
(GRUNTS AND GASPS)
292
00:21:19,652 --> 00:21:20,903
(GRUNTING)
293
00:21:20,987 --> 00:21:23,406
-(EXCLAIMS)
-(YELLS)
294
00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:24,866
(ERNIE GRUNTS)
295
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:27,285
(SPUTTERS)
296
00:21:28,953 --> 00:21:31,705
-They're blueprints.
-Wow.
297
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:35,168
Wait a minute.
Look at this date, 1876.
298
00:21:35,919 --> 00:21:38,463
A centennial house
could actually be worth something.
299
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:41,716
Look, this must be the architect.
Here, look.
300
00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:44,636
"Charles Lyle LaRue."
301
00:21:46,554 --> 00:21:51,054
-Charles Lyle LaRue.
-Charles Lyle LaRue?
302
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:57,899
Charles Lyle LaRue.
303
00:22:00,443 --> 00:22:03,028
Charles Lyle LaRue!
304
00:22:04,030 --> 00:22:06,157
Charles Lyle LaRue!
305
00:22:07,158 --> 00:22:11,658
I'm actually standing
in the missing LaRue!
306
00:22:12,413 --> 00:22:15,874
-It's bold yet subtle.
-Classical yet non-traditional.
307
00:22:16,417 --> 00:22:17,626
The missing LaRue.
308
00:22:18,419 --> 00:22:19,753
The rumored design completed
309
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:22,924
shortly before his committal
is a rumor no more.
310
00:22:23,007 --> 00:22:24,383
Before his committal?
311
00:22:24,467 --> 00:22:26,510
(CHUCKLES) Well, I'm just glad
he finished the place
312
00:22:26,594 --> 00:22:29,013
before they carted him off
to the laughing academy.
313
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:30,181
(LAUGHING)
314
00:22:32,308 --> 00:22:33,851
So, what do you think
315
00:22:33,935 --> 00:22:35,811
a magnificent edifice
like this is worth?
316
00:22:37,021 --> 00:22:38,564
Properly restored, of course.
317
00:22:39,357 --> 00:22:43,069
Well, his Parma Charnel House
went for six...
318
00:22:43,152 --> 00:22:44,319
But that was 10 years ago,
319
00:22:44,404 --> 00:22:46,447
and it didn't have
this exquisite molding.
320
00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:48,950
I see.
I can't get enough of good molding.
321
00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:51,119
(ERNIE CLEARS THROAT)
322
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:54,414
-(SOFTLY) Did you hear that? $600,000.
-(EXHALES)
323
00:22:54,497 --> 00:22:55,498
(DOOR OPENS)
324
00:22:55,582 --> 00:22:57,208
QUINCY: Alexander Falko!
325
00:22:58,126 --> 00:22:59,377
Back!
326
00:22:59,460 --> 00:23:02,463
Gentlemen, congratulations.
327
00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:06,717
Congratulations on your find.
I'm a great admirer of LaRue.
328
00:23:06,801 --> 00:23:07,885
Glass of rainwater, please.
329
00:23:07,969 --> 00:23:11,263
Yes, Mr. Falko was the world's
leading collector of LaRues.
330
00:23:11,347 --> 00:23:13,182
Sort of like collecting stamps,
331
00:23:13,266 --> 00:23:15,476
-but they're bigger, right?
-(CHUCKLES)
332
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:20,060
I'll get to the point. LaRue.
I have his books and his letters.
333
00:23:20,231 --> 00:23:22,358
You see these shoes?
334
00:23:22,442 --> 00:23:23,443
-LaRues?
-LaRues?
335
00:23:23,526 --> 00:23:24,944
No, but I'm sure
he would have loved them.
336
00:23:25,028 --> 00:23:26,863
Vegetarian snack.
337
00:23:26,946 --> 00:23:31,446
(MOUTHFUL) I own 42 LaRue houses, 42.
I want to make it 43.
338
00:23:32,994 --> 00:23:35,204
You tell me how I'm going to do this.
339
00:23:35,288 --> 00:23:38,666
Tell me how I will do this.
Help me. How will I do this?
340
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:40,752
Well, I'm glad you asked.
341
00:23:40,835 --> 00:23:43,462
His, Parma Charnel House went for six,
342
00:23:43,546 --> 00:23:46,006
but that was 10 years ago
and it didn't have this molding.
343
00:23:46,090 --> 00:23:48,717
I'd say a find like this
in today's market
344
00:23:48,801 --> 00:23:49,802
is worth twice as much.
345
00:23:49,886 --> 00:23:51,554
He's a LaRue connoisseur.
346
00:23:52,055 --> 00:23:53,306
Guilty as charged.
347
00:23:53,890 --> 00:23:56,475
Gentlemen, I'm going
to make you an offer.
348
00:23:56,559 --> 00:23:58,727
No, no, no,
I couldn't possibly be so crass
349
00:23:58,811 --> 00:24:00,145
as to allow you to do that.
350
00:24:00,229 --> 00:24:02,898
But you are welcome
to come to the auction.
351
00:24:02,982 --> 00:24:04,858
-Auction?
-Auction, yes.
352
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:06,653
It would be grossly unfair of us
353
00:24:06,736 --> 00:24:09,613
to deprive others of the chance
to bid on the missing LaRue.
354
00:24:10,365 --> 00:24:11,366
Um...
355
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:15,369
May I have just one moment
with my brother, please?
356
00:24:15,453 --> 00:24:16,620
-Sure. Of course.
-Thank you.
357
00:24:16,704 --> 00:24:17,705
-Excuse me, please.
-(LARS CLEARS THROAT)
358
00:24:19,248 --> 00:24:21,458
-What is this?
-It's the...
359
00:24:21,542 --> 00:24:23,001
-What is this?
-It's the first I've heard...
360
00:24:23,086 --> 00:24:24,087
No. No.
361
00:24:26,422 --> 00:24:27,840
What are you doing?
362
00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:29,884
What am I doing?
I'm answering your prayers.
363
00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:31,678
These pigeons are ripe for plucking.
364
00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:33,971
Put them in a room together
try and outbid each other?
365
00:24:34,055 --> 00:24:37,892
-We'll make $700,000, $800,000 easy.
-Oh, man, you're smart!
366
00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:39,060
-(THUD)
-(GROANS)
367
00:24:40,436 --> 00:24:42,271
-You're going to get this.. .
-Don't talk to me! Shh!
368
00:24:42,897 --> 00:24:46,108
So, when is the earliest
we can set the auction?
369
00:24:46,192 --> 00:24:50,692
Well, I suppose all arrangements
could be completed within the week.
370
00:24:50,989 --> 00:24:52,407
-A week it is.
-Great!
371
00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:54,241
You're smarter than you look.
372
00:24:54,325 --> 00:24:55,617
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
373
00:24:57,662 --> 00:24:58,663
But know this.
374
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:01,874
I have never paid
more than $10 million
375
00:25:01,958 --> 00:25:03,542
for a house in my life!
376
00:25:18,933 --> 00:25:20,517
Okay, see you, then.
377
00:25:20,601 --> 00:25:23,270
Yeah. Thanks for stopping by.
378
00:25:29,485 --> 00:25:31,153
Ten million linen napkins.
379
00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:35,741
Five million bales
of top-grade cotton fiber.
380
00:25:36,784 --> 00:25:40,746
Forty thousand hot lamps complete
with rotating plate-warming trays.
381
00:25:40,830 --> 00:25:44,542
Two thousand twine threaders,
gleaming under real lights.
382
00:25:44,625 --> 00:25:47,419
ERNIE: My own chain
of fine gourmet restaurants.
383
00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:51,090
LARS: April can have
anything she's ever wanted!
384
00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:55,386
Cars, coats, china. She loves china.
385
00:25:57,972 --> 00:25:59,974
ERNIE: I'm gonna build
an Olympic size swimming pool
386
00:26:00,058 --> 00:26:02,769
fill it with pina coladas
and college girls.
387
00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:09,984
LARS: If only Pop were here
to see this house!
388
00:26:10,068 --> 00:26:12,612
He did. He just wasn't smart enough
to sell it.
389
00:26:12,695 --> 00:26:16,532
Lars, we've turned a corner.
Our future is staring us in the face.
390
00:26:16,616 --> 00:26:21,116
And all we have to do is grab it,
baste it and scarf it down!
391
00:26:31,714 --> 00:26:34,675
A-ha. We've finally found
our friend's home!
392
00:26:34,759 --> 00:26:36,886
Well, I bought
a little present for ya, buddy.
393
00:26:38,221 --> 00:26:42,600
Ernie, it's just a little mouse.
Do we really have to kill it?
394
00:26:42,683 --> 00:26:46,561
Yes. Listen to me.
A single vermin can bring you down.
395
00:26:46,646 --> 00:26:47,938
Believe me, I know.
396
00:26:48,022 --> 00:26:49,440
-(SNAPS)
-Ah!
397
00:26:51,192 --> 00:26:52,776
(FAINT SCURRYING)
398
00:26:56,197 --> 00:26:57,698
(BOTH SNORING)
399
00:27:23,224 --> 00:27:24,225
-(MOUSETRAP SNAPS)
-(BOTH GASP)
400
00:27:36,279 --> 00:27:39,907
-I trust you slept well.
-Oh, like a baby.
401
00:27:49,250 --> 00:27:51,710
Hey, last night,
did you happen to hear the, uh...
402
00:27:52,336 --> 00:27:55,339
-Oh, yeah. Let's see.
-Yeah.
403
00:28:03,097 --> 00:28:04,890
-Well, where'd he go?
-I don't know.
404
00:28:04,974 --> 00:28:06,558
Maybe it snapped by itself.
405
00:28:07,643 --> 00:28:08,644
(ERNIE SIGHS)
406
00:28:08,728 --> 00:28:09,729
I don't believe it.
407
00:28:11,397 --> 00:28:15,897
He snapped the trap, ate the olive,
and left the pit just to mock us.
408
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,447
I think you're giving him
a little too much credit.
409
00:28:20,948 --> 00:28:22,157
Mice don't mock.
410
00:28:22,241 --> 00:28:24,826
They don't have
a sense of humor or irony.
411
00:28:24,911 --> 00:28:27,246
He's not sitting in his hole
in a smoking jacket,
412
00:28:27,330 --> 00:28:30,750
sipping cognac and giggling
to himself, "I left the pit."
413
00:28:30,833 --> 00:28:34,169
The trap snapped itself,
the olive flew off, and he ate it.
414
00:28:34,253 --> 00:28:35,420
It's just that simple.
415
00:28:35,504 --> 00:28:38,840
But now that he knows we're here,
he won't come within a mile of us.
416
00:28:38,925 --> 00:28:41,677
I don't think we'll be seeing
any more of that... (SCREAMS) Mouse!
417
00:28:41,761 --> 00:28:43,637
(SHRIEKING)
418
00:28:43,721 --> 00:28:45,472
(ERNIE LAUGHING MENACINGLY)
419
00:28:45,556 --> 00:28:47,099
(ERNIE YELLING IN PAIN)
420
00:28:47,183 --> 00:28:48,475
(CONTINUES SHRIEKING)
421
00:28:48,559 --> 00:28:52,145
-What are you doing, you stupid nitwit?
-(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
422
00:28:53,856 --> 00:28:56,483
Don't! Give me that!
Don't let him get away!
423
00:29:01,739 --> 00:29:02,740
(LAUGHS)
424
00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:06,077
(YELLS AND LAUGHS)
425
00:29:06,577 --> 00:29:08,579
(YELLING)
426
00:29:09,997 --> 00:29:11,999
(GRUNTING)
427
00:29:15,169 --> 00:29:16,170
Ow!
428
00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:21,676
(YELLS IN PAIN)
429
00:29:22,510 --> 00:29:23,511
(LARS BLOWING)
430
00:29:23,928 --> 00:29:24,929
-(GRUNTS)
-(GROANS)
431
00:29:25,012 --> 00:29:27,389
Are you trying to kill me? (GRUNTING)
432
00:29:29,267 --> 00:29:30,893
-The mouse!
-(BOTH GRUNTING)
433
00:29:33,938 --> 00:29:35,397
ERNIE: Let me see. Let me see!
434
00:29:36,357 --> 00:29:37,399
LARS: Can you see him?
435
00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:40,194
Get me my Gouda.
436
00:29:44,156 --> 00:29:48,160
-Careful, careful !
-Don't touch me. You'll snap it.
437
00:29:48,244 --> 00:29:50,746
-Well, you're not doing it right.
-Please, let me concentrate, will ya?
438
00:29:50,830 --> 00:29:52,540
ERNIE: I'm putting it on carefully.
I'm not...
439
00:29:53,374 --> 00:29:55,209
Oh, relax. It's cheese.
440
00:29:58,254 --> 00:29:59,755
Bon appetit.
441
00:30:02,675 --> 00:30:03,842
That takes care of that.
442
00:30:08,889 --> 00:30:10,056
(HAMMERING)
443
00:30:17,606 --> 00:30:20,442
-(BUCKET CLATTERS)
-(ERNIE GROANING)
444
00:30:26,907 --> 00:30:27,908
Hey!
445
00:30:29,577 --> 00:30:31,829
-Hey! What are you doing?
-(IMPERCEPTIBLE)
446
00:32:07,216 --> 00:32:08,884
(NAIL GUN CLICKING)
447
00:32:18,227 --> 00:32:19,228
(SQUEAKS)
448
00:32:33,117 --> 00:32:34,118
(SQUEAKS)
449
00:32:34,869 --> 00:32:36,036
(AIR HISSES)
450
00:32:50,676 --> 00:32:52,427
Lars! Gimme a hand with this.
451
00:32:55,848 --> 00:32:57,266
(FOOTSTEPS FADING)
452
00:32:58,267 --> 00:33:00,894
LARS: You sure this tub fits in
with the rest of the house?
453
00:33:00,978 --> 00:33:03,647
Jacuzzi tub, Lars. It's a Jacuzzi tub.
454
00:33:03,731 --> 00:33:06,316
And this isn't just a house.
It's a LaRue.
455
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,276
Of course it fits in with the decor.
456
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,613
-Luxury is timeless.
-How much, Ernie?
457
00:33:11,697 --> 00:33:14,783
(SIGHS) It was a steal at $1 ,200.
458
00:33:14,867 --> 00:33:16,952
LARS: $1 ,200?
459
00:33:17,036 --> 00:33:19,496
You spent our last money on a tub!
460
00:33:19,580 --> 00:33:21,373
ERNIE: A Jacuzzi tub!
461
00:33:21,457 --> 00:33:23,459
You have to spend money to make money.
462
00:33:23,542 --> 00:33:26,795
They threw in the cardboard lady
just to sweeten the deal.
463
00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:30,341
(SCREAMS)
464
00:33:33,219 --> 00:33:35,221
-(EXCLAIMING)
-Ah ! Oh!
465
00:33:36,931 --> 00:33:38,933
(ERNIE AND LARS SCREAMING)
466
00:33:40,392 --> 00:33:42,560
(ERNIE AND LARS GRUNTING)
467
00:33:43,103 --> 00:33:45,105
-(LARS SHRIEKING)
-(ERNIE YELLING)
468
00:33:59,161 --> 00:34:01,163
(ERNIE AND LARS PANTING)
469
00:34:02,581 --> 00:34:03,582
(GRUNTS)
470
00:34:06,001 --> 00:34:07,919
(BOTH SIGH)
471
00:34:08,003 --> 00:34:09,004
Well...
472
00:34:17,096 --> 00:34:20,557
LARS: (SIGHS) Don't you think
this is a little... much?
473
00:34:21,725 --> 00:34:23,560
Never underestimate your opponent.
474
00:34:24,979 --> 00:34:27,189
Let's say he has mastered a way
475
00:34:27,273 --> 00:34:29,441
to empty a mousetrap
without getting caught.
476
00:34:30,442 --> 00:34:32,819
If he snaps one of these babies,
477
00:34:32,903 --> 00:34:35,947
a chain reaction
will start snapping them all.
478
00:34:36,031 --> 00:34:37,157
He'll panic,
479
00:34:37,241 --> 00:34:39,576
and the law of averages
says one has to nab him.
480
00:34:42,705 --> 00:34:43,706
Not bad.
481
00:34:44,373 --> 00:34:47,584
Yes. Well, I like
to use both sides of my brain.
482
00:34:47,668 --> 00:34:49,002
Come on, let's hit the sack. (GRUNTS)
483
00:35:11,150 --> 00:35:12,734
(ROOSTER CROWING)
484
00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:19,783
(BIRD CAWING)
485
00:35:23,037 --> 00:35:24,038
(ERNIE SIGHS)
486
00:35:26,582 --> 00:35:29,293
-(SIGHS) Have you figured it out yet?
-Shut up.
487
00:35:29,376 --> 00:35:31,336
I'm thinking. I'm thinking!
488
00:35:45,517 --> 00:35:47,268
(WHISPERING) Ernie. Ernie!
489
00:35:52,399 --> 00:35:56,694
Keep perfectly still. This is it.
490
00:36:16,090 --> 00:36:18,509
-What's he doing?
-I don't know.
491
00:36:31,146 --> 00:36:32,147
That was good.
492
00:36:54,128 --> 00:36:56,421
Shh ! He's goin' for the cherries!
493
00:36:59,967 --> 00:37:01,593
But you said mice like Gouda.
494
00:37:01,677 --> 00:37:03,470
Not in the morning !
Cheese tires them out.
495
00:37:03,554 --> 00:37:05,097
They need fruit for energy.
496
00:37:07,933 --> 00:37:09,309
(BOTH SCREAM)
497
00:37:10,310 --> 00:37:12,312
(BOTH WHIMPERING)
498
00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:17,735
(LARS GASPS)
499
00:37:24,199 --> 00:37:25,200
(SCREAMING)
500
00:37:25,659 --> 00:37:27,869
ERNIE: (YELLING) Oh, no!
501
00:37:27,953 --> 00:37:29,704
(BOTH SCREAMING)
502
00:37:34,126 --> 00:37:35,127
(BOTH STOP SCREAMING)
503
00:37:35,919 --> 00:37:37,921
(BOTH GROANING)
504
00:37:48,807 --> 00:37:50,725
Ouch ! (STUTTERING)
505
00:37:50,851 --> 00:37:52,519
-Ah !
-Ah ! (SPUTTERS)
506
00:37:57,316 --> 00:37:58,859
There he goes!
507
00:38:02,237 --> 00:38:04,906
-Juice!
-Got it!
508
00:38:07,242 --> 00:38:08,868
(ERNIE LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
509
00:38:08,952 --> 00:38:10,995
This game is over!
510
00:38:11,079 --> 00:38:12,914
(LARS EXCLAIMING)
511
00:38:15,542 --> 00:38:16,543
(ERNIE GRUNTS)
512
00:38:18,420 --> 00:38:19,587
(BOTH LAUGHING)
513
00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:28,138
-I think it's working !
-Yeah.
514
00:38:33,602 --> 00:38:34,603
-(VACUUM CLEANER CLANGS)
-Whoa!
515
00:38:34,978 --> 00:38:36,729
Ah. I felt something.
516
00:38:38,607 --> 00:38:39,774
LARS: Keep sucking!
517
00:38:47,241 --> 00:38:51,495
-Goddamn, that mouse stinks!
-(BOTH LAUGH)
518
00:38:51,578 --> 00:38:53,955
-Dead animals always do.
-Oh.
519
00:38:54,039 --> 00:38:55,874
-(LAUGHING)
-(LAUGHING)
520
00:39:02,422 --> 00:39:04,424
(BOTH CONTINUE LAUGHING)
521
00:39:06,301 --> 00:39:09,137
-LARS: Keep sucking, Ernie!
-(GURGLING)
522
00:39:10,055 --> 00:39:11,389
Oh, yeah, this'll get him!
523
00:39:11,473 --> 00:39:13,475
(LOUD GURGLING)
524
00:39:17,855 --> 00:39:18,939
(THUD)
525
00:39:30,951 --> 00:39:32,953
(PANTING)
526
00:39:34,580 --> 00:39:35,581
What's this?
527
00:39:36,582 --> 00:39:38,458
We're foreclosing on your house.
528
00:39:38,542 --> 00:39:40,210
You quit paying your mortgage.
529
00:39:40,294 --> 00:39:44,381
Oh, wait a minute, there's been
some mistake, this house is paid for.
530
00:39:44,464 --> 00:39:47,550
No, it was paid for,
but you borrowed against it.
531
00:39:47,634 --> 00:39:51,095
If you don't pay the $1 ,200 overdue,
we repossess it.
532
00:39:51,179 --> 00:39:55,016
-$1 ,200?
-Well, how long do we have?
533
00:39:56,310 --> 00:40:00,439
One week from, five days ago.
534
00:40:00,522 --> 00:40:03,608
But, that's two days!
535
00:40:03,692 --> 00:40:05,193
Look, we don't have
the time or the energy
536
00:40:05,277 --> 00:40:06,820
to deal with these petty problems now.
537
00:40:06,904 --> 00:40:09,156
We're in the midst
of an extensive renovation.
538
00:40:09,907 --> 00:40:11,491
Looks like
you're off to a great start.
539
00:40:14,328 --> 00:40:16,288
LARS: You can ask your boss at Wimpy's
for an advance.
540
00:40:16,371 --> 00:40:17,747
You can pay him back
after the auction.
541
00:40:17,831 --> 00:40:19,040
ERNIE: Couldn't you ask your workers
542
00:40:19,124 --> 00:40:20,542
to forfeit their salaries
for a few weeks?
543
00:40:20,626 --> 00:40:21,710
You are the boss.
544
00:40:21,793 --> 00:40:24,587
Well, if you hadn't spent
all our money on that Jacuzzi tub,
545
00:40:24,671 --> 00:40:26,255
we still might be able
to pay the mortgage.
546
00:40:26,340 --> 00:40:27,758
It doesn't help to start crying now,
does it?
547
00:40:27,841 --> 00:40:32,341
(SHRIEKING) No, Fluffy! No!
548
00:40:32,679 --> 00:40:35,390
No! I want my kitty!
549
00:40:36,141 --> 00:40:40,145
(WAILING) No, no! No!
550
00:40:41,730 --> 00:40:44,441
(CAMERA MOTOR WHIRRING)
551
00:40:48,153 --> 00:40:49,320
(BELL RINGS)
552
00:40:52,783 --> 00:40:53,784
(KITTEN MEOWS)
553
00:40:53,867 --> 00:40:55,368
That one's cute.
554
00:40:55,452 --> 00:40:56,828
-(KITTEN PURRING)
-Nah.
555
00:40:56,912 --> 00:40:58,663
He doesn't have that killer instinct.
556
00:41:01,041 --> 00:41:03,043
(KITTEN WHIMPERING)
557
00:41:03,794 --> 00:41:04,878
(BELL RINGS)
558
00:41:10,467 --> 00:41:12,469
(BELL RINGING)
559
00:41:16,556 --> 00:41:20,434
Morning, gentlemen. I'm Maury.
Anything I can help you with?
560
00:41:20,519 --> 00:41:22,979
Hi, Maury. We need a cat.
561
00:41:23,063 --> 00:41:24,939
(CATS MEOWING)
562
00:41:25,023 --> 00:41:28,609
MAURY: Find the one you want
and I'll spay or neuter it myself.
563
00:41:29,236 --> 00:41:31,947
LARS: Well, these are all kittens.
564
00:41:32,030 --> 00:41:35,616
We were hoping for an older cat.
One with experience.
565
00:41:35,701 --> 00:41:36,868
MAURY: That's a switch.
566
00:41:36,952 --> 00:41:39,704
Most people like the cute little ones.
Experience with what?
567
00:41:39,788 --> 00:41:41,831
-Mouse hunting.
-All cats are good mousers.
568
00:41:41,915 --> 00:41:45,376
Yes. But we have huge rats
the size of sumo wrestlers
569
00:41:45,460 --> 00:41:46,502
and lots of them.
570
00:41:46,586 --> 00:41:49,589
So, we really need a ferocious feline,
571
00:41:49,673 --> 00:41:51,299
preferably with a history
of mental illness.
572
00:41:51,383 --> 00:41:53,510
I'm talking one mean pussy.
573
00:41:53,593 --> 00:41:56,554
Yeah ! A vicious cat,
difficult to love.
574
00:41:56,638 --> 00:41:59,682
Do you have any of those
knocking around your cages?
575
00:41:59,766 --> 00:42:04,228
Funny you should ask. I had all
but given up on anyone wanting him.
576
00:42:04,980 --> 00:42:07,190
We were about to gas him again.
577
00:42:09,109 --> 00:42:10,360
-Again?
-Again?
578
00:42:10,986 --> 00:42:14,030
He's spent most of his whole life
in that box, I expect.
579
00:42:14,114 --> 00:42:15,156
(CAT HISSES)
580
00:42:15,824 --> 00:42:16,950
ERNIE: "Catzilla"?
581
00:42:17,367 --> 00:42:19,118
You know,
the guys who clean up call him that.
582
00:42:19,202 --> 00:42:21,871
But you can call him
anything you want.
583
00:42:21,955 --> 00:42:24,499
I'd say he looks like a "Fluffy."
584
00:42:24,583 --> 00:42:26,585
(CATZILLA GROWLS)
585
00:42:28,462 --> 00:42:30,088
Ugh.
586
00:42:30,172 --> 00:42:32,716
-Poor little Catzilla.
-(CATZILLA GROWLS)
587
00:42:32,799 --> 00:42:35,676
You want a home, don't you?
You wanna get out of here.
588
00:42:36,636 --> 00:42:39,930
Well, you're gonna have
to kill, kill, kill for it.
589
00:42:40,015 --> 00:42:41,975
You're a stupid cat, aren't you?
590
00:42:42,059 --> 00:42:45,645
Yes, you are. And ugly. Extremely...
591
00:42:45,729 --> 00:42:47,063
-(CATZILLA MEOWING ANGRILY)
-(ERNIE AND LARS EXCLAIM)
592
00:42:47,147 --> 00:42:48,648
(ZAPPING)
593
00:42:48,982 --> 00:42:50,525
(CATZILLA YOWLING)
594
00:42:50,609 --> 00:42:51,610
Oh.
595
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,695
-Oh, you little bastard.
-We'll take him.
596
00:42:57,616 --> 00:42:59,618
-(LARS GRUNTS)
-(CATZILLA MEOWS)
597
00:42:59,701 --> 00:43:00,993
-Here, boy.
-(CATZILLA YOWLS)
598
00:43:02,496 --> 00:43:04,498
-(CATZILLA GROWLS)
-(LARS PANTING)
599
00:43:08,335 --> 00:43:09,336
(TOY SQUEAKS)
600
00:43:09,419 --> 00:43:11,421
(CATZILLA MEOWING ANGRILY)
601
00:43:14,674 --> 00:43:15,966
He's got the scent now.
602
00:43:16,051 --> 00:43:18,094
Yeah, go get him, boy.
603
00:43:18,178 --> 00:43:19,888
(LARS GASPS)
604
00:43:21,098 --> 00:43:23,100
Easy, easy, easy, easy!
605
00:43:23,350 --> 00:43:25,352
(CATZILLA GRUNTING)
606
00:43:30,982 --> 00:43:32,066
Wow.
607
00:43:32,275 --> 00:43:34,402
I almost feel sorry
for the little fella.
608
00:43:35,487 --> 00:43:37,030
-Almost!
-Almost!
609
00:43:37,447 --> 00:43:38,448
(LAUGHS)
610
00:43:39,825 --> 00:43:41,827
(CATZILLA GROWLING)
611
00:43:48,792 --> 00:43:49,793
(THUD)
612
00:44:04,516 --> 00:44:05,517
(SNIFFING)
613
00:44:06,059 --> 00:44:08,102
(GROWLING AND HISSING)
614
00:44:09,104 --> 00:44:11,106
(ROARS)
615
00:44:16,194 --> 00:44:18,196
(YOWLING)
616
00:44:26,413 --> 00:44:27,997
(PIANO KEYS PLAYING)
617
00:44:32,127 --> 00:44:33,419
(JARRING CHORD PLAYS)
618
00:44:33,503 --> 00:44:35,505
(TUNE PLAYING)
619
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,762
-(CATZILLA YOWLS)
-(PIANO KEYS SWEEPING)
620
00:44:45,390 --> 00:44:47,433
ERNIE: It's time to stop worrying
about that mouse
621
00:44:47,517 --> 00:44:49,977
and start thinking about
how we're gonna locate $1 ,200.
622
00:44:50,061 --> 00:44:52,646
LARS: Don't worry, Ernie.
The workers will help us out.
623
00:44:54,274 --> 00:44:57,110
(NERVOUSLY) You see, the truth is,
(PANTING)
624
00:44:57,194 --> 00:45:00,655
(VOICE BREAKING)
we don't actually have any money.
625
00:45:00,739 --> 00:45:02,741
(WORKERS MURMURING)
626
00:45:03,283 --> 00:45:05,285
(LARS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
627
00:45:09,998 --> 00:45:12,500
We may have to defer your next paycheck
628
00:45:12,584 --> 00:45:14,711
-or two.
-(WORKERS GROANING)
629
00:45:14,794 --> 00:45:17,713
So my brother and I can pay
the mortgage on the house.
630
00:45:17,797 --> 00:45:19,548
It's the missing LaRue!
631
00:45:20,717 --> 00:45:22,343
There's no need for violence!
632
00:45:24,054 --> 00:45:25,180
Wait!
633
00:45:25,263 --> 00:45:26,722
Put that thing down.
634
00:45:26,806 --> 00:45:28,182
Whoa!
635
00:45:29,851 --> 00:45:31,352
(LARS TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
636
00:45:37,484 --> 00:45:39,486
(METAL CLANGING AT DISTANCE)
637
00:45:45,867 --> 00:45:47,869
-(WORKERS YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
-(LARS PANTING)
638
00:45:48,078 --> 00:45:49,079
Ernie!
639
00:45:50,664 --> 00:45:51,873
What's the matter?
640
00:45:51,957 --> 00:45:56,419
Well, the workers, they didn't react
as positively as I'd hoped.
641
00:45:56,503 --> 00:45:58,505
(WORKERS CLAMORING)
642
00:45:59,381 --> 00:46:00,548
No?
643
00:46:02,008 --> 00:46:03,175
What are you doing?
644
00:46:03,260 --> 00:46:04,970
You could fit
through this window, right?
645
00:46:05,053 --> 00:46:07,430
What? (SCOFFS) I guess so.
646
00:46:07,514 --> 00:46:09,224
Come on. (YELLS)
647
00:46:11,559 --> 00:46:12,560
Aah!
648
00:46:12,644 --> 00:46:13,728
(WORKERS CLAMORING)
649
00:46:13,812 --> 00:46:16,898
Oh, but, Lars, that was our last resort!
650
00:46:16,982 --> 00:46:19,401
We're gonna have to find the money
some place else.
651
00:46:21,903 --> 00:46:23,404
(GLASS SHATTERS)
652
00:46:37,585 --> 00:46:41,130
Gosh, it's a shame nobody's interested
in buying the factory.
653
00:46:41,214 --> 00:46:43,633
Yeah, yeah, it's a shame.
654
00:46:43,717 --> 00:46:45,927
But who'd be stupid enough
to buy the factory, right?
655
00:46:46,011 --> 00:46:47,929
(LAUGHING) Yeah.
656
00:46:54,519 --> 00:46:56,521
(GROWLING)
657
00:47:02,193 --> 00:47:03,694
(SNARLS)
658
00:47:18,376 --> 00:47:20,378
(CATZILLA YOWLING)
659
00:47:20,462 --> 00:47:21,838
-(MOUSETRAPS SNAPPING)
-(CATZILLA YELPING)
660
00:47:23,173 --> 00:47:24,465
(SNARLING)
661
00:47:40,148 --> 00:47:41,482
(GROWLING)
662
00:47:44,152 --> 00:47:45,319
(SNARLS)
663
00:47:48,031 --> 00:47:50,033
(WHINES)
664
00:47:50,367 --> 00:47:51,743
(GROWLS)
665
00:47:52,369 --> 00:47:54,371
(CATZILLA YOWLING)
666
00:48:00,293 --> 00:48:02,295
(EXCLAIMS AND YOWLS)
667
00:48:04,047 --> 00:48:05,214
(CRASHES)
668
00:48:08,426 --> 00:48:10,428
(CATZILLA HOWLS)
669
00:48:33,451 --> 00:48:36,454
Oh, you must be... Caesar.
670
00:48:36,538 --> 00:48:39,624
Well, Mr. Caesar, we're glad
you could get here so quickly.
671
00:48:39,707 --> 00:48:40,708
(SHUSHES)
672
00:48:55,682 --> 00:48:56,933
(KNOCKING UPSTAIRS)
673
00:49:06,985 --> 00:49:08,069
(SNIFFS)
674
00:49:12,740 --> 00:49:13,741
(SOFTLY) You have mice.
675
00:49:16,077 --> 00:49:17,244
(WHISPERS) He's good.
676
00:49:18,329 --> 00:49:19,872
5120 Nortondale.
677
00:49:20,790 --> 00:49:23,584
January 4th, 0800 hours.
678
00:49:23,668 --> 00:49:25,920
Don't forget to get toothpaste
and Saran Wrap.
679
00:49:26,588 --> 00:49:29,382
We're in sort of a hurry. I just
wanna warn you about this mouse.
680
00:49:29,466 --> 00:49:32,385
(LOUDLY) Yeah !
You got asbestos, all right!
681
00:49:34,262 --> 00:49:36,472
I'll bet
it's up in the ceiling, mostly!
682
00:49:38,266 --> 00:49:42,520
Shouldn't take me more than a day
or two to remove it.
683
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:44,731
(INAUDIBLE)
684
00:49:45,982 --> 00:49:50,482
Okay, then. Um, uh.. .
So, we're gonna go upstairs!
685
00:49:51,863 --> 00:49:54,282
All right, well,
we'll all go upstairs!
686
00:49:54,365 --> 00:49:55,366
Yeah.
687
00:49:55,450 --> 00:49:56,701
(STOMPING)
688
00:49:58,036 --> 00:49:59,829
Okay, then. Yeah.
689
00:50:04,876 --> 00:50:06,043
What are you doing?
690
00:50:08,254 --> 00:50:09,964
(SOFTLY) He's not listening anymore.
691
00:50:10,548 --> 00:50:11,549
Oh.
692
00:50:11,633 --> 00:50:14,135
Good. Well, you're the expert.
693
00:50:14,219 --> 00:50:16,512
I just hope you can take care
of this, whatever it takes.
694
00:50:16,596 --> 00:50:19,098
We've been trying
to catch this menace all week.
695
00:50:20,308 --> 00:50:21,851
Here's your problem.
696
00:50:21,935 --> 00:50:23,895
Normal people are not...
697
00:50:24,604 --> 00:50:28,024
psychologically equipped
to catch mice.
698
00:50:28,107 --> 00:50:31,527
You have to get inside their mind.
699
00:50:31,611 --> 00:50:34,822
You have to know
what they want... need.
700
00:50:34,906 --> 00:50:37,700
You have to think like a mouse.
701
00:50:37,784 --> 00:50:41,245
If you can do that,
if you can think like a mouse,
702
00:50:41,329 --> 00:50:44,206
you can anticipate their moves.
703
00:50:44,290 --> 00:50:48,502
Then, boom ! Sayonara, mouse.
704
00:50:48,586 --> 00:50:51,338
(SIGHING) Well,
you got some great stuff.
705
00:50:52,674 --> 00:50:55,176
-(LOUDLY) Whoa! Never touch that!
-Whoa.
706
00:50:55,260 --> 00:50:56,261
(ERNIE AND LARS YELLING AND EXCLAIMING)
707
00:50:56,553 --> 00:50:59,347
-All right!
-What is it?
708
00:51:01,432 --> 00:51:02,433
The big one.
709
00:51:03,643 --> 00:51:05,269
It's a flea bomb!
710
00:51:05,353 --> 00:51:06,979
Works on mice, too.
711
00:51:07,689 --> 00:51:12,189
Yeah? It better. Because we can't
handle any more intrusions.
712
00:51:12,318 --> 00:51:15,029
Sure. That's how you perceive it.
713
00:51:17,448 --> 00:51:18,991
But to that mouse,
714
00:51:19,075 --> 00:51:21,994
you are the intruder.
715
00:51:22,078 --> 00:51:24,080
(WORKERS CLAMORING)
716
00:51:33,715 --> 00:51:36,759
I think if we work fast, we can make
enough string to meet our orders.
717
00:51:36,843 --> 00:51:39,136
That's the spirit. Just a few cases
so we can keep the LaRue.
718
00:51:39,220 --> 00:51:41,055
-Good luck.
-Yeah. No. Wait! Where are you going?
719
00:51:41,139 --> 00:51:42,640
-Aren't you going to help?
-I have to run a little errand.
720
00:51:42,724 --> 00:51:43,766
I'll see you later.
721
00:51:43,850 --> 00:51:46,269
All you have to do is make
$1 ,200 worth. How long can that take?
722
00:51:46,352 --> 00:51:49,021
Light a match,
they're frightened by fire!
723
00:51:53,151 --> 00:51:55,153
(LARS GRUNTING)
724
00:52:14,213 --> 00:52:16,215
(MACHINERY CREAKING)
725
00:52:50,249 --> 00:52:52,251
(GRUNTING)
726
00:53:03,638 --> 00:53:05,640
(CONTINUES GRUNTING)
727
00:53:05,723 --> 00:53:07,141
(STEAM HISSING)
728
00:53:13,147 --> 00:53:14,773
(WHIMPERS)
729
00:53:18,945 --> 00:53:20,947
(GASPS AND EXCLAIMS)
730
00:53:24,075 --> 00:53:26,077
(WHIMPERING AND GRUNTING)
731
00:53:33,459 --> 00:53:35,461
(YELLING)
732
00:53:54,939 --> 00:53:56,565
(SOFTLY) Unsanitary creature.
733
00:53:59,235 --> 00:54:02,821
Defecating... in the dining room.
734
00:54:07,034 --> 00:54:09,536
0915. Evidence found.
735
00:54:13,791 --> 00:54:17,753
Mus communis. Ugh. Male.
736
00:54:22,049 --> 00:54:26,386
Ten to, uh, 12 centimeters long,
737
00:54:28,931 --> 00:54:29,932
with a...
738
00:54:31,392 --> 00:54:32,476
Hmm...
739
00:54:34,729 --> 00:54:37,815
What's this?
A slight calcium deficiency.
740
00:54:39,275 --> 00:54:40,442
That's interesting.
741
00:54:48,576 --> 00:54:51,161
Uh, hi. This is Ernest Smuntz
of Smuntz String.
742
00:54:51,245 --> 00:54:53,747
Is this the business representative
for Zeppco International?
743
00:54:54,749 --> 00:54:57,835
Vinny? Hi, Vinny.
Oh, I'm glad I can call you Vinny.
744
00:54:58,044 --> 00:55:01,881
Uh, my brother and I have decided
to reconsider your generous offer.
745
00:55:01,964 --> 00:55:04,800
I'd love to discuss
selling our factory to you.
746
00:55:04,884 --> 00:55:06,886
Oh, no, not at the office.
747
00:55:06,969 --> 00:55:10,180
How about Ellman Square
under the big clock at noon?
748
00:55:32,286 --> 00:55:33,287
(WOMAN 1 CHUCKLES)
749
00:55:37,208 --> 00:55:39,210
(BOTH LAUGHING)
750
00:55:55,309 --> 00:55:56,935
-(WIND BLOWING)
-WOMAN 1 : Ooh!
751
00:56:12,743 --> 00:56:14,369
-WOMAN 1 : Ooh !
-(WOMEN APPLAUDING)
752
00:56:18,457 --> 00:56:19,791
(VEHICLE HORN BLARES)
753
00:56:19,876 --> 00:56:21,460
-(TIRES SQUEAL)
-(METAL THUDS)
754
00:56:22,545 --> 00:56:23,879
(BELL TOLLS)
755
00:56:32,430 --> 00:56:33,514
(KNOCKING)
756
00:56:36,225 --> 00:56:40,562
You, you must be Mrs. Lars Smuntz?
757
00:56:40,646 --> 00:56:43,273
I'm afraid
that status is in transition.
758
00:56:43,357 --> 00:56:47,857
Oh, well, is Lars in? I'd like to
discuss preparations for the auction.
759
00:56:48,654 --> 00:56:50,072
The auction?
760
00:56:50,156 --> 00:56:52,158
(MACHINERY CLANKING)
761
00:56:55,703 --> 00:56:57,705
(LARS PANTING)
762
00:57:06,047 --> 00:57:09,258
Careful, Lars. You might catch a cold.
763
00:57:10,593 --> 00:57:11,594
April!
764
00:57:14,263 --> 00:57:17,349
You look like you could use
some warming up.
765
00:57:23,814 --> 00:57:28,314
CAESAR: Thirteen hundred hours.
I've activated the Squeak Seeker 2000.
766
00:57:28,736 --> 00:57:31,029
I'm about to join with the prey.
767
00:57:47,546 --> 00:57:51,424
I'm experiencing malfunction
with the plasma screen. Stand by.
768
00:57:57,014 --> 00:57:58,473
(SCRAPING)
769
00:58:02,478 --> 00:58:03,729
Junk.
770
00:58:13,364 --> 00:58:14,531
Nothing works.
771
00:58:29,797 --> 00:58:31,006
(GRUNTS)
772
00:58:43,853 --> 00:58:44,854
What?
773
00:58:47,106 --> 00:58:48,232
(GRUNTING)
774
00:58:49,775 --> 00:58:51,651
(WIRE WHIRRING)
775
00:58:52,403 --> 00:58:53,404
Ah, nuts!
776
00:58:55,322 --> 00:58:56,865
(YELLING)
777
00:59:03,122 --> 00:59:05,124
(CONTINUES YELLING)
778
00:59:39,992 --> 00:59:43,954
EKG, a C-spine, a chest x-ray
and pelvis. Now move!
779
00:59:44,038 --> 00:59:45,748
Twelve hundred dollars...
780
00:59:45,831 --> 00:59:47,916
Lie still, Mr. Smuntz,
you've just been hit by a bus.
781
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:50,711
I feel fine. What time is it?
782
00:59:50,795 --> 00:59:53,339
You may have had a concussion.
We're gonna do a series of x-rays.
783
00:59:53,923 --> 00:59:54,924
You don't understand, Doc.
784
00:59:55,007 --> 00:59:57,259
I have to get out of here.
I might still have a chance.
785
00:59:57,343 --> 00:59:59,595
-We saved your hat.
-Ah!
786
00:59:59,678 --> 01:00:02,180
-I'm sorry. Are you family?
-Yes, we are sisters.
787
01:00:02,264 --> 01:00:04,432
Great. There's some paperwork
I need for you to fill out.
788
01:00:04,517 --> 01:00:05,518
Is he an organ donor?
789
01:00:05,601 --> 01:00:07,311
Don't let them fill anything.
I don't even know them.
790
01:00:07,645 --> 01:00:09,897
Oh, I'm Hilde and this is Ingrid.
791
01:00:09,980 --> 01:00:14,025
-We are hair models from Belgium.
-Belgian hair models. How exotic.
792
01:00:14,110 --> 01:00:16,445
Listen to me, Doc.
I need to find a phone
793
01:00:16,529 --> 01:00:19,198
before I miss out
on the most important deal of my life.
794
01:00:19,281 --> 01:00:20,740
I think your brother
is a little delirious.
795
01:00:20,825 --> 01:00:23,577
I am not their brother.
I don't have any sisters!
796
01:00:23,661 --> 01:00:26,330
Ernie, are you okay?
I came as soon as I heard.
797
01:00:27,081 --> 01:00:28,832
Why are you wearing a pink overcoat?
798
01:00:30,417 --> 01:00:33,711
Because April gave us the $1 ,200!
799
01:00:38,050 --> 01:00:40,052
So she just up and gave you the money?
800
01:00:40,136 --> 01:00:42,138
You don't think
she heard about the auction?
801
01:00:42,221 --> 01:00:44,681
No. I didn't even tell her
about the auction
802
01:00:44,765 --> 01:00:46,850
until after she took me back.
803
01:00:46,934 --> 01:00:48,977
She just showed up at the factory
804
01:00:49,061 --> 01:00:51,730
took off her coat
and begged me to take her.
805
01:00:52,064 --> 01:00:53,065
(SIGHS)
806
01:00:53,149 --> 01:00:56,485
We made love in a way
I've only ever seen in nature films.
807
01:00:57,027 --> 01:00:58,028
Wow.
808
01:00:58,112 --> 01:00:59,279
I almost can't believe it.
809
01:00:59,363 --> 01:01:02,824
I'll be able to open another
restaurant, you're back with April,
810
01:01:02,908 --> 01:01:05,535
and you'll even be able to keep
that worthless factory.
811
01:01:06,370 --> 01:01:08,789
You know it's funny that
you call the factory worthless,
812
01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:11,458
because, well, there's something
813
01:01:11,542 --> 01:01:14,127
I probably should have
mentioned before.
814
01:01:14,211 --> 01:01:18,173
Yeah? Well, I guess
I have something to confess, too.
815
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:21,718
Hey, isn't that Caesar's truck?
816
01:01:34,565 --> 01:01:36,900
-Oh, my God !
-Caesar! What happened?
817
01:01:36,984 --> 01:01:40,153
-Please, sir. He's not well.
-Try to think. Did you kill the mouse?
818
01:01:40,237 --> 01:01:42,948
What's that? Horse?
819
01:01:43,032 --> 01:01:45,993
-Fiendish ! I won't eat it.
-No.
820
01:01:46,076 --> 01:01:47,160
-Aah !
-ERNIE: Ah!
821
01:01:47,244 --> 01:01:49,537
(GROWLING)
822
01:01:51,582 --> 01:01:53,542
(CAESAR SQUEAKING)
823
01:01:53,626 --> 01:01:54,877
How'd you find him? Where was he?
824
01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:57,963
-911 call. No voice.
-(CAESAR SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
825
01:01:58,047 --> 01:01:59,923
We could hear screaming
in the background.
826
01:02:00,007 --> 01:02:01,842
He was locked in a trunk in the attic.
827
01:02:01,926 --> 01:02:04,136
We'll call you if we get any leads.
828
01:02:22,279 --> 01:02:23,280
(TAPE REWINDING)
829
01:02:26,825 --> 01:02:27,826
-What's that?
-(TAPE PLAYING)
830
01:02:27,910 --> 01:02:29,912
(FOOTSTEPS THUDDING)
831
01:02:30,287 --> 01:02:31,663
(DOOR CREAKING)
832
01:02:31,747 --> 01:02:34,291
-CAESAR: Put that down. What is that?
-(TOOL WHIRRING)
833
01:02:34,792 --> 01:02:37,127
-(MUFFLED GROANING)
-(OBJECTS CLATTERING)
834
01:02:38,254 --> 01:02:39,421
-That tickles!
-(LIQUID SPLATTERS)
835
01:02:39,505 --> 01:02:41,548
-(CAESAR SCREAMING)
-(BODY THUDS)
836
01:02:42,925 --> 01:02:43,926
(RECORDER STOPS)
837
01:02:45,344 --> 01:02:48,180
I don't think we're dealing
with an ordinary mouse.
838
01:02:49,306 --> 01:02:51,308
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-(ERNIE GASPS)
839
01:03:00,484 --> 01:03:01,776
My kitchen!
840
01:03:09,368 --> 01:03:12,496
Looks like Caesar decided
to make himself a sandwich.
841
01:03:14,873 --> 01:03:18,877
Pickles, arugula and capers.
842
01:03:19,628 --> 01:03:21,671
He toasted the side with the cheese...
843
01:03:23,424 --> 01:03:27,924
but not the other side,
so the arugula doesn't wilt.
844
01:03:29,972 --> 01:03:31,556
How did he know that?
845
01:03:42,318 --> 01:03:43,736
-Hello.
-Hello.
846
01:03:45,112 --> 01:03:47,114
(BOTH YELL)
847
01:03:50,409 --> 01:03:51,410
Ow!
848
01:03:53,370 --> 01:03:54,371
Ow!
849
01:04:03,255 --> 01:04:04,256
(YELLS)
850
01:04:05,424 --> 01:04:06,425
(GRUNTS)
851
01:04:06,884 --> 01:04:07,885
A-ha!
852
01:04:07,968 --> 01:04:08,969
(PANTS)
853
01:04:13,182 --> 01:04:14,683
(LAUGHING)
854
01:04:20,314 --> 01:04:23,567
-Do you see him?
-Yeah, I see him.
855
01:04:23,650 --> 01:04:24,651
(GRUNTS)
856
01:04:26,779 --> 01:04:28,781
(STRAINING)
857
01:04:30,824 --> 01:04:34,452
Lars, I'm stuck!
Get me out of here! I can't breathe.
858
01:04:34,536 --> 01:04:36,329
I'll get a flashlight.
859
01:04:37,456 --> 01:04:38,457
ERNIE: Hurry!
860
01:04:39,708 --> 01:04:40,834
(GAS HISSING)
861
01:04:46,090 --> 01:04:49,051
-Here, Ernie, I got it.
-I can see that.
862
01:04:50,803 --> 01:04:52,346
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
863
01:04:52,596 --> 01:04:56,683
Hang on, Ernie.
The flashlight's broken.
864
01:05:03,065 --> 01:05:06,568
-Okay, Ernie. (LAUGHS) I got a light.
-Great.
865
01:05:07,361 --> 01:05:08,362
(SIGHS)
866
01:05:08,445 --> 01:05:10,447
(SNIFFING)
867
01:05:12,408 --> 01:05:14,535
-(HISSING)
-ERNIE: Lars, do you smell something?
868
01:05:18,038 --> 01:05:19,247
Smells like gas.
869
01:05:22,209 --> 01:05:23,210
(SCREAMS)
870
01:05:23,293 --> 01:05:25,211
(SCREAMING)
871
01:05:27,047 --> 01:05:28,048
(GRUNTS)
872
01:05:28,132 --> 01:05:30,134
(ERNIE YELLING)
873
01:05:33,011 --> 01:05:35,013
(ERNIE CONTINUES YELLING)
874
01:05:49,820 --> 01:05:50,821
(GRUNTS)
875
01:05:52,990 --> 01:05:54,992
(LARS GROANING)
876
01:06:01,832 --> 01:06:03,834
(GASPING, GROANS)
877
01:06:04,501 --> 01:06:06,503
(GRUNTING)
878
01:06:08,255 --> 01:06:09,464
(WHIMPERS)
879
01:06:13,302 --> 01:06:15,304
(WHIMPERING)
880
01:06:24,521 --> 01:06:25,522
Wha...
881
01:06:25,939 --> 01:06:27,482
(MUMBLES)
882
01:06:27,900 --> 01:06:30,319
(MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)
883
01:06:30,402 --> 01:06:32,404
(IMITATES WHOOSHING)
884
01:06:32,988 --> 01:06:33,989
(GRUNTS)
885
01:06:34,239 --> 01:06:35,949
(MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)
886
01:06:36,408 --> 01:06:38,284
(WHIMPERING)
887
01:06:38,368 --> 01:06:39,744
(CRIES OUT)
888
01:06:44,333 --> 01:06:45,876
What are you gonna do?
889
01:06:45,959 --> 01:06:49,212
I'm gonna kill that unspeakable thing
once and for all.
890
01:06:49,296 --> 01:06:52,007
-Come on, Ernie, no, no.. .
-Stand back, Lars!
891
01:06:52,090 --> 01:06:53,633
I'm a man on a mission!
892
01:06:53,717 --> 01:06:55,719
Look, this is how accidents happen !
Come on, Ernie.
893
01:06:55,802 --> 01:06:57,011
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
894
01:06:57,179 --> 01:06:58,638
Put the gun down. Calm down. Come on.
895
01:06:59,056 --> 01:07:01,725
I'm gonna blow
his furry little head off,
896
01:07:01,808 --> 01:07:04,560
and I'm gonna splatter
his devious little mouse brain
897
01:07:04,645 --> 01:07:06,521
from here to kingdom come!
898
01:07:06,605 --> 01:07:08,565
No! You're gonna blow
a hole in the wall.
899
01:07:08,649 --> 01:07:10,192
-Come on !
-It'll be worth it!
900
01:07:10,275 --> 01:07:12,193
-Think of the auction !
-(BOTH GRUNTING)
901
01:07:12,277 --> 01:07:13,486
For God's sakes!
902
01:07:13,570 --> 01:07:15,905
Think of the money, Ernie, huh?
The money!
903
01:07:15,989 --> 01:07:18,408
They're gonna cut our price
if there's bullet holes in the walls.
904
01:07:18,492 --> 01:07:21,328
-The money?
-Yeah, the money. The moolah. Yeah.
905
01:07:21,411 --> 01:07:22,912
(PANTING)
906
01:07:22,996 --> 01:07:25,665
-There he goes.
-Shoot! Shoot!
907
01:07:29,169 --> 01:07:30,170
(JARRING CHORD PLAYS)
908
01:07:30,254 --> 01:07:34,049
Yes! You hit the piano!
You hit the piano.
909
01:07:34,132 --> 01:07:35,925
-Look.
-Shh.
910
01:07:45,060 --> 01:07:46,102
(GUNSHOT)
911
01:07:48,272 --> 01:07:51,108
What are you, crazy?
You're blowing the whole house up.
912
01:07:51,191 --> 01:07:53,193
The only thing you haven't hit so far
is the mouse!
913
01:07:53,277 --> 01:07:55,612
Would you give somebody else
a chance with that gun?
914
01:07:55,696 --> 01:07:56,697
(GUN COCKING)
915
01:07:56,822 --> 01:07:58,240
You're doing a wonderful job.
916
01:08:06,331 --> 01:08:07,332
Whoa!
917
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:09,584
-You got him !
-(BLOWS)
918
01:08:11,837 --> 01:08:13,797
(LAUGHS)
919
01:08:14,172 --> 01:08:16,007
(WHIMPERS) Get him ! Get him ! Get him!
920
01:08:19,219 --> 01:08:21,971
See you in hell, mouse! (CHUCKLES)
921
01:08:25,726 --> 01:08:26,977
Fire!
922
01:08:29,313 --> 01:08:31,315
(BOTH SCREAM)
923
01:08:46,371 --> 01:08:48,373
(COUGHING)
924
01:08:54,338 --> 01:08:56,256
God, I hate that mouse.
925
01:08:57,507 --> 01:08:59,509
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
926
01:09:04,765 --> 01:09:07,058
ERNIE: (OVER RECORDING)
When you hear the beep, start talking.
927
01:09:07,142 --> 01:09:11,642
(OVER SPEAKER) Mr. Smuntz,
this is Vinny from Zeppco calling.
928
01:09:12,439 --> 01:09:15,150
We waited at the square
for over an hour,
929
01:09:15,233 --> 01:09:16,734
but you never showed.
930
01:09:16,818 --> 01:09:19,403
We do not appreciate
being treated this way,
931
01:09:19,488 --> 01:09:20,989
especially after your brother
932
01:09:21,073 --> 01:09:23,617
already turned down
our generous offer.
933
01:09:23,700 --> 01:09:26,577
Consider our proposal withdrawn.
934
01:09:29,790 --> 01:09:31,166
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
935
01:09:32,084 --> 01:09:35,253
-Betrayed by my own brother!
-Betrayal?
936
01:09:36,254 --> 01:09:37,964
Don't talk to me about betrayal.
937
01:09:38,048 --> 01:09:40,133
You should have told me
about that offer!
938
01:09:40,217 --> 01:09:44,638
-Half that factory is mine.
-And half is...
939
01:09:44,721 --> 01:09:49,016
And half is mine, including the half
that you tried to sell.
940
01:09:49,101 --> 01:09:52,104
Yes, and would have
if not for that stinking' bus!
941
01:09:52,187 --> 01:09:53,313
Bus?
942
01:09:53,397 --> 01:09:57,897
You can't leave well enough alone,
can you? You ruin everything!
943
01:09:58,026 --> 01:10:00,695
Me? You blame me for this?
944
01:10:00,779 --> 01:10:03,072
Look! You blew a hole in the floor!
945
01:10:03,156 --> 01:10:07,368
I distinctly remember
somebody yelling, "Shoot! Shoot!"
946
01:10:07,452 --> 01:10:10,079
Yeah. Well, you never
listened to me before!
947
01:10:10,163 --> 01:10:12,331
-And you know why?
-Why?
948
01:10:12,416 --> 01:10:15,544
Because I have no respect for you!
949
01:10:15,627 --> 01:10:19,839
Spending your whole life
in that stupid factory!
950
01:10:19,923 --> 01:10:21,382
It's tragic.
951
01:10:21,466 --> 01:10:24,302
You think I didn't have other things
I wanted to do with my life?
952
01:10:24,386 --> 01:10:26,805
You think I didn't have
ambitions of my own?
953
01:10:26,888 --> 01:10:30,349
-Come on. You loved string.
-I didn't love string!
954
01:10:30,434 --> 01:10:31,560
Well, you could have fooled me.
955
01:10:31,643 --> 01:10:33,019
You and Pop
were always huddled together
956
01:10:33,103 --> 01:10:34,938
running some piece of something
through your fingers.
957
01:10:35,647 --> 01:10:37,649
It didn't matter what I did.
I didn't even exist.
958
01:10:38,316 --> 01:10:40,985
I made him my special rack of lamb
for his 70th birthday.
959
01:10:41,069 --> 01:10:43,529
-Oh, no!
-Yes! You remember.
960
01:10:44,239 --> 01:10:48,076
I slaved over that meal,
making sure everything was perfect.
961
01:10:49,119 --> 01:10:51,079
Did he say,
"Thanks, Ernie, it was delicious"?
962
01:10:52,164 --> 01:10:53,290
No.
963
01:10:53,790 --> 01:10:56,501
He only noticed the string
I had tied it with.
964
01:10:57,043 --> 01:10:58,044
(SIGHS)
965
01:10:59,546 --> 01:11:00,880
He was crazy!
966
01:11:02,841 --> 01:11:04,467
But I still wanted his approval.
967
01:11:05,719 --> 01:11:07,971
I didn't leave, Lars. I was cast out.
968
01:11:10,265 --> 01:11:12,141
There you go again!
969
01:11:12,225 --> 01:11:14,685
Blaming everything else but yourself.
970
01:11:14,770 --> 01:11:17,230
You think you're a success? Huh?
971
01:11:17,314 --> 01:11:21,814
Well, you... can't... cook!
972
01:11:23,153 --> 01:11:26,281
-I hate you !
-And I hate you!
973
01:11:26,364 --> 01:11:28,157
Not as much as I hate you!
974
01:11:28,241 --> 01:11:30,576
-Yeah?
-Yeah. Double. Double!
975
01:11:30,660 --> 01:11:34,914
Give me something !
I'm gonna brain you!
976
01:11:34,998 --> 01:11:35,999
Here it is!
977
01:11:36,082 --> 01:11:38,542
Yeah, give it to me, then ! Go ahead !
(YELLS)
978
01:11:42,631 --> 01:11:45,925
You killed him ! (LAUGHING)
979
01:11:47,469 --> 01:11:49,554
I didn't even know he was there!
980
01:11:49,638 --> 01:11:51,640
Let's think of all the trouble
we could've saved ourselves
981
01:11:51,723 --> 01:11:53,850
if we'd just thrown
fruit at him in the first place.
982
01:11:55,060 --> 01:11:57,020
LARS: Oh, look! He's still breathing!
983
01:11:57,103 --> 01:11:58,479
-Well, kill him !
-Yeah!
984
01:11:58,563 --> 01:11:59,981
-Find a blunt object!
-Yeah...
985
01:12:00,899 --> 01:12:02,984
-There it is.
-There you go. Get that...
986
01:12:03,068 --> 01:12:04,527
-Let him have it.
-I...
987
01:12:04,611 --> 01:12:05,778
What the hell are you waiting for?
988
01:12:05,862 --> 01:12:08,573
-I can't just hit him with a shovel.
-Why not?
989
01:12:08,657 --> 01:12:11,076
Well, look at him. He's pathetic.
990
01:12:11,159 --> 01:12:13,452
ERNIE: Pathetic?
He's Hitler with a tail.
991
01:12:13,537 --> 01:12:15,121
This is The Omen with whiskers.
992
01:12:15,205 --> 01:12:17,832
Nostradamus didn't
see this thing coming.
993
01:12:17,916 --> 01:12:21,753
-Well, he's a living thing.
-Not for long. Gimme that!
994
01:12:21,837 --> 01:12:23,839
(GRUNTING)
995
01:12:26,299 --> 01:12:27,550
I can't!
996
01:12:28,051 --> 01:12:30,053
(CRYING)
997
01:12:32,472 --> 01:12:34,474
Look at him just lying there.
998
01:12:34,558 --> 01:12:37,352
It just doesn't feel
very sportsmanlike.
999
01:12:37,435 --> 01:12:39,854
We gotta do something quick!
I think he's coming to.
1000
01:12:43,024 --> 01:12:45,317
(MOUSE SCRATCHING)
1001
01:12:46,444 --> 01:12:49,947
Oh. I forgot to put holes in the box.
1002
01:12:50,699 --> 01:12:52,742
(CHUCKLING)
1003
01:13:10,844 --> 01:13:13,513
Hasta la vista,
you little rat bastard!
1004
01:13:15,390 --> 01:13:17,266
Come on. We got work to do.
1005
01:13:17,350 --> 01:13:19,185
Two days till payday, my friend.
1006
01:14:03,772 --> 01:14:05,774
(IN SPANISH)
1007
01:14:10,695 --> 01:14:12,071
(VIOLINS PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC)
1008
01:14:13,031 --> 01:14:15,158
(IN ENGLISH) Perfect.
It's the architectural find
1009
01:14:15,241 --> 01:14:17,409
of the decade. Let's go...
1010
01:14:18,495 --> 01:14:20,538
-Shall we?
-Yes.
1011
01:14:30,090 --> 01:14:32,467
Well, it wasn't easy,
1012
01:14:32,550 --> 01:14:35,177
-but we finally made it.
-Mmm-hmm.
1013
01:14:36,137 --> 01:14:39,682
Ernie, I want you to have something.
1014
01:14:42,602 --> 01:14:44,103
(SIGHS)
1015
01:14:45,563 --> 01:14:47,606
Pop's lucky piece of string.
1016
01:14:49,651 --> 01:14:50,818
I'm glad you kept it.
1017
01:14:51,987 --> 01:14:55,573
He, uh, wanted us to share it.
I don't know why,
1018
01:14:56,825 --> 01:15:00,620
but I think if he were here right now,
he'd be proud of you.
1019
01:15:02,831 --> 01:15:04,666
I think he'd be proud of us.
1020
01:15:05,917 --> 01:15:07,919
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1021
01:15:10,422 --> 01:15:13,883
Hello, ladies. How magnificent!
1022
01:15:13,967 --> 01:15:15,385
-Welcome!
-(WOMEN GIGGLE)
1023
01:15:15,468 --> 01:15:18,220
Lars, you remember Ingrid and Hilde.
1024
01:15:18,304 --> 01:15:19,305
-Hello.
-INGRID: Hello.
1025
01:15:19,389 --> 01:15:22,850
Oh, ladies, your hair
looks positively biblical!
1026
01:15:23,226 --> 01:15:24,227
HILDE: Oh.
1027
01:15:24,310 --> 01:15:26,020
-INGRID AND HILDE: Thank you.
-(LAUGHS)
1028
01:15:27,147 --> 01:15:30,608
Well, if you will excuse me,
I have to check on my crêpes.
1029
01:15:36,114 --> 01:15:37,865
Keep the champagne coming, boys.
1030
01:15:37,949 --> 01:15:39,700
The more they drink,
the higher they bid.
1031
01:15:39,826 --> 01:15:42,662
Hey! You boys put on
quite a shindig here.
1032
01:15:42,746 --> 01:15:44,664
Thank you so much, Mr. Falko.
1033
01:15:45,081 --> 01:15:46,582
Mmm.
1034
01:15:57,927 --> 01:16:00,763
You know, it would be very, very sad
1035
01:16:01,389 --> 01:16:04,642
if you boys put on this auction
and nobody bid.
1036
01:16:04,726 --> 01:16:07,478
That would put a real crimp
in our evening,
1037
01:16:07,562 --> 01:16:09,438
but I don't think there's any danger
of that happening.
1038
01:16:09,522 --> 01:16:13,025
I don't know. There's a lot
of Eurotrash scarfing up the shrimps.
1039
01:16:14,527 --> 01:16:16,278
I tell you what.
1040
01:16:16,362 --> 01:16:19,281
You call off the auction. Now.
1041
01:16:20,408 --> 01:16:23,285
And I will write you a check
1042
01:16:23,369 --> 01:16:25,412
for ten millions.
1043
01:16:28,500 --> 01:16:32,754
(SIGHS) As insanely generous as that is,
I have to decline,
1044
01:16:32,837 --> 01:16:35,923
but I do appreciate
your thoughtful concern.
1045
01:16:36,007 --> 01:16:37,174
Enjoy the party.
1046
01:16:38,551 --> 01:16:40,970
Are you interested in spooling?
1047
01:16:41,846 --> 01:16:43,514
Oh, sure. My father...
1048
01:16:43,598 --> 01:16:47,143
I mean, my brother and I
own a string factory.
1049
01:16:47,769 --> 01:16:48,770
-Really?
-LARS: Mmm.
1050
01:16:49,854 --> 01:16:51,230
Oh.
1051
01:16:51,314 --> 01:16:54,025
I would love
to see your factory sometime.
1052
01:16:54,109 --> 01:16:55,110
Really?
1053
01:16:55,193 --> 01:16:56,360
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1054
01:16:57,821 --> 01:17:00,281
Oh, hello, April. What a surprise.
1055
01:17:00,365 --> 01:17:02,575
Just dropping by
for no reason, I suppose?
1056
01:17:02,659 --> 01:17:04,577
-Does a wife need a reason?
-Ah.
1057
01:17:04,661 --> 01:17:06,496
Oh, are you entertaining?
1058
01:17:06,579 --> 01:17:09,415
-Don't you mean "ex-wife"?
-Not quite yet.
1059
01:17:11,626 --> 01:17:15,921
-Ah, hakuna matata.
-This crêpe. C'est magnifique.
1060
01:17:16,005 --> 01:17:19,258
-The raisins are a nice touch.
-They are good, aren't they?
1061
01:17:20,927 --> 01:17:21,928
Raisins?
1062
01:17:44,409 --> 01:17:45,785
(SCREAMS)
1063
01:17:48,163 --> 01:17:50,623
Ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.
1064
01:17:50,707 --> 01:17:52,583
We are about to start the auction.
1065
01:17:56,087 --> 01:17:59,173
Lars, I don't know whether
to congratulate you or wish you luck.
1066
01:17:59,257 --> 01:18:01,467
-Wish us luck!
-Hello, April.
1067
01:18:02,177 --> 01:18:04,637
-Hello. (CHUCKLES)
-Nice to see you again.
1068
01:18:04,721 --> 01:18:08,808
-I didn't know you knew our lawyer.
-It's just an expression.
1069
01:18:12,187 --> 01:18:13,438
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,
1070
01:18:13,521 --> 01:18:15,814
for joining us
for this momentous occasion,
1071
01:18:15,899 --> 01:18:20,399
the auction of our one item
out for bid, the missing LaRue.
1072
01:18:21,196 --> 01:18:23,198
(ALL APPLAUDING)
1073
01:18:23,489 --> 01:18:24,615
MAN: Before we start,
1074
01:18:24,699 --> 01:18:27,118
I would like to introduce you
to the very fortunate owner
1075
01:18:27,202 --> 01:18:31,164
of this architectural wonder,
Mr. Ernest Smuntz.
1076
01:18:45,386 --> 01:18:47,763
Thank you, all, for coming.
1077
01:18:47,847 --> 01:18:52,347
When my father left this extraordinary
house to my brother Lars...
1078
01:18:58,191 --> 01:18:59,775
and myself,
1079
01:19:00,401 --> 01:19:04,901
uh, we had no idea
what surprises were in store for us
1080
01:19:05,657 --> 01:19:08,117
or what was going to happen next.
1081
01:19:18,544 --> 01:19:20,212
Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
1082
01:19:20,296 --> 01:19:21,338
When Quincy Thorpe
1083
01:19:21,422 --> 01:19:24,675
of the Historical Society
told us of its value,
1084
01:19:25,677 --> 01:19:26,678
you, uh...
1085
01:19:27,428 --> 01:19:29,388
-you could have knocked.. .
-(BANGS GAVEL)
1086
01:19:31,516 --> 01:19:33,017
Us over with a feather.
1087
01:19:33,643 --> 01:19:34,644
We...
1088
01:19:35,895 --> 01:19:37,479
didn't know what hit us!
1089
01:19:41,651 --> 01:19:45,363
The renovation was exhausting,
but ultimately, rewarding.
1090
01:19:45,446 --> 01:19:48,282
The house was in terrible disrepair,
1091
01:19:49,200 --> 01:19:51,827
but nothing that a few nails...
1092
01:19:54,247 --> 01:19:55,373
(MICROPHONE SQUEAKS)
1093
01:19:55,456 --> 01:19:57,082
(CONTINUES BANGING GAVEL)
1094
01:20:03,923 --> 01:20:06,967
And some old-fashioned
elbow grease couldn't fix.
1095
01:20:07,051 --> 01:20:09,386
I'm sure the people are eager
to get to the bidding.
1096
01:20:09,470 --> 01:20:10,846
What? The bidding?
1097
01:20:10,930 --> 01:20:14,183
-The bidding !
-All right. Thank you.
1098
01:20:14,267 --> 01:20:15,476
Thank you, Mr. Smuntz.
1099
01:20:15,560 --> 01:20:17,562
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
1100
01:20:20,857 --> 01:20:22,984
No matter what happens, keep going.
1101
01:20:30,533 --> 01:20:35,033
Built in 1876, the last LaRue
in existence has five bedrooms...
1102
01:20:35,872 --> 01:20:37,248
-Did you see him?
-Yes!
1103
01:20:37,332 --> 01:20:38,916
I thought so.
1104
01:20:39,000 --> 01:20:41,961
-He ate the string.
-What?
1105
01:20:42,045 --> 01:20:44,839
-The string. Pop's lucky string !
-(SIGHS)
1106
01:20:44,922 --> 01:20:46,798
The son of a bitch ate it!
1107
01:20:46,883 --> 01:20:49,969
-Why didn't you tell me you saw him?
-I didn't, I found this.
1108
01:20:50,511 --> 01:20:51,637
(ERNIE GRUNTS)
1109
01:20:51,721 --> 01:20:53,389
I told you,
you should have weighed him.
1110
01:20:53,473 --> 01:20:54,474
I'm sorry.
1111
01:20:56,559 --> 01:20:59,353
-Did you see where it went?
-No. But it can't have gone far.
1112
01:21:00,730 --> 01:21:03,315
Well, shall we start
the bidding at $1 million?
1113
01:21:04,192 --> 01:21:07,486
Now, we all know we're here
to bid on the missing LaRue.
1114
01:21:07,570 --> 01:21:10,197
Shall we start the bidding
at $500,000?
1115
01:21:11,824 --> 01:21:15,244
Very good. I have $500,000
from the gentleman from Japan.
1116
01:21:15,328 --> 01:21:18,831
-Now can I hear a million?
-A million.
1117
01:21:19,791 --> 01:21:21,459
I'll give you one and a half.
1118
01:21:21,542 --> 01:21:24,419
I have $1 .5 million.
Will someone give me two?
1119
01:21:24,504 --> 01:21:25,755
(GASPS)
1120
01:21:25,838 --> 01:21:26,880
-There he is!
-(LARS GASPS)
1121
01:21:27,799 --> 01:21:30,092
AUCTIONEER: Ladies and gentleman,
I'd like to remind you,
1122
01:21:30,176 --> 01:21:33,429
that all the carpets and tapestries
were woven by hand
1123
01:21:33,513 --> 01:21:34,514
in an honest valley
1124
01:21:34,597 --> 01:21:36,724
-in Northern Turkey.
-(CHUCKLES)
1125
01:21:36,808 --> 01:21:41,308
Now, can I have an advance
on 1 .5? May I have two?
1126
01:21:42,814 --> 01:21:44,732
Can I have two, ladies and gentlemen?
1127
01:21:45,733 --> 01:21:48,527
-Two million !
-I have $2 million.
1128
01:21:50,613 --> 01:21:52,948
I have $2 million,
ladies and gentlemen.
1129
01:21:53,032 --> 01:21:55,159
-Can I have an advance?
-(ERNIE CHUCKLES)
1130
01:21:55,243 --> 01:21:57,119
-Can I have an advance on $2 million?
-(WHISPERS) So beautiful.
1131
01:21:58,371 --> 01:22:00,623
AUCTIONEER: Ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to draw your attention
1132
01:22:00,706 --> 01:22:02,165
to the Lincrusta details
1133
01:22:02,250 --> 01:22:05,461
of the gold and silver-leafed
copper and pewter...
1134
01:22:05,795 --> 01:22:06,962
-(GRUNTING)
-(HILDE GASPS)
1135
01:22:07,046 --> 01:22:08,964
Ladies and gentlemen,
can I have an advance?
1136
01:22:09,632 --> 01:22:11,425
An advance on $2 million?
1137
01:22:11,968 --> 01:22:13,469
-(HILDE EXCLAIMS)
-AUCTIONEER: May I hear $3 million?
1138
01:22:13,553 --> 01:22:15,388
I have $3 million from the lady
1139
01:22:15,471 --> 01:22:16,472
-from New York City.
-(LARS CONTINUES GRUNTING)
1140
01:22:16,848 --> 01:22:21,018
-What are you doing?
-(GASPS) Nothing!
1141
01:22:21,102 --> 01:22:23,813
Get your hand
out of there immediately!
1142
01:22:24,689 --> 01:22:25,690
(GRUMBLING INDISTINCTLY)
1143
01:22:26,399 --> 01:22:29,235
Wait! Wait just a minute!
1144
01:22:29,318 --> 01:22:32,571
-Wait!
-Now may I hear $4 million?
1145
01:22:32,655 --> 01:22:35,532
-Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah ! (GRUNTING)
-Ooh. Ooh.
1146
01:22:35,825 --> 01:22:37,451
LARS: Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah!
1147
01:22:37,535 --> 01:22:38,536
AUCTIONEER: Four million.
1148
01:22:38,619 --> 01:22:40,495
Four million from the gentleman
in Japan.
1149
01:22:41,581 --> 01:22:42,623
I got it!
1150
01:22:47,920 --> 01:22:50,047
Uh, the Sheikh bids $5 million.
Thank you, sir.
1151
01:22:50,131 --> 01:22:51,132
-I have $5 million.
-Ah!
1152
01:22:51,841 --> 01:22:53,133
AUCTIONEER: Five million dollars.
1153
01:22:53,217 --> 01:22:54,885
(LARS LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
1154
01:22:54,969 --> 01:22:57,513
Can I have an advance on $5 million?
1155
01:22:57,597 --> 01:22:59,682
Ladies and gentlemen, $5 million.
1156
01:23:00,391 --> 01:23:01,683
Can I have an advance?
1157
01:23:01,767 --> 01:23:04,269
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's the missing LaRue.
1158
01:23:04,353 --> 01:23:07,397
The bidding stands at $5 million,
ladies and gentlemen.
1159
01:23:07,482 --> 01:23:09,692
I've got you now, my little friend.
1160
01:23:09,775 --> 01:23:11,359
Hold onto it, I'm gonna get it out.
1161
01:23:11,444 --> 01:23:13,320
(GRUNTING)
1162
01:23:14,405 --> 01:23:16,115
Five million dollars
for the missing LaRue.
1163
01:23:16,532 --> 01:23:18,909
-Have you got it yet?
-I'm not sure.
1164
01:23:19,702 --> 01:23:23,831
Ladies and gentlemen, will
someone give me $6 million?
1165
01:23:23,915 --> 01:23:24,916
Six million.
1166
01:23:24,999 --> 01:23:26,333
Thank you, sir.
I have $6 million.
1167
01:23:26,417 --> 01:23:28,794
-Hilde, the spool is smoking !
-The bidding stands at $6 million.
1168
01:23:28,920 --> 01:23:30,755
-(ERNIE GRUNTS)
-May I have an advance?
1169
01:23:30,838 --> 01:23:32,047
(HILDE AND INGRID WHIMPERING)
1170
01:23:32,131 --> 01:23:33,674
-An advance, ladies and gentlemen.
-(SCREAMING)
1171
01:23:35,134 --> 01:23:37,344
Can I have an advance on six?
1172
01:23:37,428 --> 01:23:40,347
The bidding stands at $6 million.
1173
01:23:40,431 --> 01:23:42,933
-Seven million.
-$7 million. Thank you.
1174
01:23:43,809 --> 01:23:46,311
-Any advance on seven?
-(LAUGHING)
1175
01:23:46,395 --> 01:23:49,356
Seven million dollars, I have seven.
1176
01:23:50,358 --> 01:23:51,359
(CHOKING)
1177
01:23:51,984 --> 01:23:53,986
(WOMEN SCREAMING)
1178
01:23:55,446 --> 01:23:58,449
Keep her away from the walls!
The house is priceless!
1179
01:23:58,533 --> 01:24:01,577
-Keep going !
-Can I have 7.5?
1180
01:24:06,332 --> 01:24:07,875
I have $8 million.
1181
01:24:07,959 --> 01:24:11,379
$8 million going once,
$8 million going twice...
1182
01:24:11,462 --> 01:24:14,840
$8 million?
You should have taken the check!
1183
01:24:14,924 --> 01:24:16,759
You shut up! You...
1184
01:24:18,052 --> 01:24:21,096
-Ten millions!
-$10 million. Can I have 11 ?
1185
01:24:21,180 --> 01:24:23,307
I have $11 million
from the gentleman from Japan.
1186
01:24:24,433 --> 01:24:26,726
Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.
1187
01:24:27,353 --> 01:24:28,354
A-ha!
1188
01:24:28,437 --> 01:24:31,648
-$16 million from Ernie Smuntz. Oh.
-No!
1189
01:24:33,317 --> 01:24:35,652
-Seventeen million.
-$17 million. Thank you, sir.
1190
01:24:35,736 --> 01:24:37,946
I have $17 million. Any advance on 17?
1191
01:24:38,030 --> 01:24:40,032
(ALL YELLING INCOHERENTLY)
1192
01:24:48,749 --> 01:24:49,750
Good idea.
1193
01:24:54,630 --> 01:24:57,799
When I tell you to, turn it on
full blast. We'll flush him out.
1194
01:25:00,928 --> 01:25:01,929
Now!
1195
01:25:08,978 --> 01:25:10,229
$18 million.
1196
01:25:10,313 --> 01:25:13,190
Eighteen million dollars from the lady
from New York City. Thank you.
1197
01:25:13,274 --> 01:25:15,192
You don't have that kind of money.
1198
01:25:18,863 --> 01:25:19,989
-Ernie?
-Not now.
1199
01:25:20,072 --> 01:25:21,281
(AUCTIONEER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
1200
01:25:26,245 --> 01:25:28,497
-Twenty millions.
-20 million. Thank you, Mr. Falko.
1201
01:25:28,581 --> 01:25:30,374
I have 20. Can I hear 21 ?
1202
01:25:32,501 --> 01:25:33,585
(CREAKS)
1203
01:25:50,311 --> 01:25:52,688
Twenty-one million dollars
from the gentleman from Japan.
1204
01:25:57,318 --> 01:26:01,030
-Any advance on 21 ?
-22 million. That's my last offer.
1205
01:26:05,201 --> 01:26:07,286
22 million going once...
1206
01:26:10,414 --> 01:26:14,418
-Twenty-five millions.
-AUCTIONEER: $25 million.
1207
01:26:18,214 --> 01:26:21,550
Thank you, sir. $25 million.
1208
01:26:22,593 --> 01:26:24,219
$25 million.
1209
01:26:24,303 --> 01:26:28,598
The bidding stands at $25 million.
Do I have an advance?
1210
01:26:30,351 --> 01:26:33,020
$25 million going once,
1211
01:26:35,231 --> 01:26:37,191
$25 million going twice...
1212
01:26:40,569 --> 01:26:41,903
-Uh.. .
-(RUMBLING)
1213
01:26:44,031 --> 01:26:46,033
-(AUCTIONEER YELLING)
-(GUESTS SCREAMING)
1214
01:27:03,968 --> 01:27:05,844
Going... going...
1215
01:27:05,928 --> 01:27:08,221
(INGRID GRUMBLING INDISTINCTLY)
1216
01:27:10,516 --> 01:27:12,726
-Hey! Don't go!
-(GUESTS CHATTERING)
1217
01:27:14,437 --> 01:27:17,064
-The water was just a.. .
-(WOMEN EXCLAIMING)
1218
01:27:17,606 --> 01:27:22,106
A demonstration of how durable
a LaRue really is. (LAUGHING)
1219
01:27:23,696 --> 01:27:24,822
How about that?
1220
01:27:26,031 --> 01:27:29,826
Now you know
this house will last forever.
1221
01:27:45,676 --> 01:27:47,469
(APRIL LAUGHS)
1222
01:27:48,220 --> 01:27:49,638
(MAN LAUGHS)
1223
01:28:39,188 --> 01:28:40,856
(SOFTLY) Pop's lucky string.
1224
01:28:41,607 --> 01:28:43,400
I guess we got him.
1225
01:28:46,487 --> 01:28:48,780
Yeah, I guess we did.
1226
01:29:18,269 --> 01:29:19,478
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
1227
01:29:58,434 --> 01:30:00,436
(SWITCHES CLANGING)
1228
01:30:08,360 --> 01:30:10,153
(MACHINERY STARTING)
1229
01:30:17,119 --> 01:30:18,411
What was that?
1230
01:30:31,675 --> 01:30:33,635
Lars! Look!
1231
01:31:05,876 --> 01:31:07,669
It's string.
1232
01:31:15,344 --> 01:31:16,595
It's cheese.
1233
01:31:43,956 --> 01:31:46,083
And the entire factory
has been retrofitted
1234
01:31:46,166 --> 01:31:49,377
to facilitate the manufacturing
of cheese-based products.
1235
01:31:49,461 --> 01:31:50,545
I see.
1236
01:31:50,629 --> 01:31:54,299
And over here we are developing
our new lactose-free line.
1237
01:31:54,383 --> 01:31:56,510
-What is that?
-Oh, that's quality control.
1238
01:31:57,678 --> 01:31:59,388
Here you go. Knock yourself out.
1239
01:32:01,515 --> 01:32:04,976
Oh, no good, huh?
Otis, more curry.
1240
01:32:05,060 --> 01:32:06,227
Okay. Try this one.
1241
01:32:08,188 --> 01:32:09,397
Huh?
1242
01:32:10,190 --> 01:32:13,526
It's mozzarella and herring.
You can taste the herring, right?
1243
01:32:13,610 --> 01:32:16,863
I've also got a great idea
for caviar-brie swirl,
1244
01:32:16,947 --> 01:32:19,407
and a peanut butter and jelly
provolone for the kids.
1245
01:32:19,491 --> 01:32:22,285
But what I really want to talk to you
about is expansion and marketing.
1246
01:32:22,369 --> 01:32:24,120
I think
you should be our spokesperson.
1247
01:32:24,204 --> 01:32:26,706
I know some people who've used
a mouse as a spokesperson
1248
01:32:26,790 --> 01:32:28,583
and it seemed to work out pretty well.
1249
01:32:28,667 --> 01:32:29,751
You see, I want to turn this
1250
01:32:29,835 --> 01:32:32,254
into the string cheese factory
of tomorrow...