1 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,166 Hello, Helen... I' d almost forgotten you work here 2 00:02:48,908 --> 00:02:51,536 I know, I know, you'd almost forgotten I work here... 3 00:02:51,643 --> 00:02:54,911 but I swear I was up all night toying with ideas for the fashion show... 4 00:02:55,013 --> 00:02:56,777 ...and I've really hit on something. You see... 5 00:02:59,885 --> 00:03:00,750 What? 6 00:03:05,692 --> 00:03:08,629 I took four bottles of vodka on Friday, it was my birthday, you know that 7 00:03:08,729 --> 00:03:11,721 I was having a party and I was running late, so I borrowed some 8 00:03:11,831 --> 00:03:13,561 I bought some more to replace it 9 00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:16,228 Not a lot of use to me when I had nothing to offer the executives 10 00:03:16,338 --> 00:03:17,862 who dropped by late Friday 11 00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:21,703 Off the top of my head, you could have told them you'd run out 12 00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:24,007 It's, it's popular stuff 13 00:03:24,678 --> 00:03:27,275 Bullshit, bullshit... We're in PR. That's what we do, isn't it? 14 00:03:30,216 --> 00:03:32,380 But you didn't do that, did you, Paul? 15 00:03:33,222 --> 00:03:34,187 No 16 00:03:35,289 --> 00:03:37,385 So I'm out... am I? 17 00:03:42,797 --> 00:03:44,232 Well, this is just perfect 18 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,268 Congratulations. You've wanted me out for ages, now you've done it. 19 00:03:48,372 --> 00:03:49,895 Very well done 20 00:03:52,843 --> 00:03:56,042 For theft. Pretty foolproof 21 00:03:56,144 --> 00:03:59,776 Okay, I'll go... I'll go 22 00:03:59,881 --> 00:04:02,852 I was getting a bit choked up with all the testosterone flying about the place 23 00:04:02,952 --> 00:04:05,113 Best I get out before I start growing a penis 24 00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:10,058 Oh! Told you... lesbian 25 00:04:25,742 --> 00:04:29,235 I really didn't think it'd be so easy to crack, did you? 26 00:04:29,347 --> 00:04:30,836 No Oops 27 00:04:33,384 --> 00:04:34,613 Thank you 28 00:06:47,359 --> 00:06:50,295 District Line information. Due to a derailment at Victoria... 29 00:06:50,396 --> 00:06:52,864 ...District Line trains are subject to extensive delay 30 00:06:52,965 --> 00:06:55,765 We suggest you find alternative means of transport 31 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:30,336 Are you all right, love? Oh, it's a bit of a nasty cut 32 00:07:31,204 --> 00:07:32,832 Might need a couple of stitches... Come on 33 00:07:43,818 --> 00:07:46,150 Oh-oh... Ah, Beatles' lyrics, eh? 34 00:07:46,252 --> 00:07:47,119 What? 35 00:07:47,222 --> 00:07:50,350 'Elastic Thrombosis'. They're guilty of lyric poaching 36 00:07:50,459 --> 00:07:51,950 They're Beatles' lyrics, aren't they? 37 00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:53,687 I don't know, sorry 38 00:07:54,596 --> 00:07:55,528 Of course you do. Come on, everyone is born knowing all 39 00:07:55,631 --> 00:07:56,791 the Beatles' lyrics instinctively 40 00:07:56,897 --> 00:07:59,799 They're passed into the foetus subconsciously along with all the amniotic stuff 41 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:03,394 In fact, they should be called 'The Foetles' 42 00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:08,937 Not a fan, clearly 43 00:08:31,034 --> 00:08:33,197 It's funny the way nobody talks on the tubes, isn't it? 44 00:08:34,005 --> 00:08:36,634 I mean, I rarely catch the tube myself but, er... or lifts 45 00:08:37,674 --> 00:08:39,906 Confined spaces, everybody shuts down. Why is that? 46 00:08:40,913 --> 00:08:43,575 Perhaps we think everyone else in the tube or the lift 47 00:08:43,681 --> 00:08:44,978 is a potential psychopath or a drunk... 48 00:08:45,082 --> 00:08:47,417 ...so we close down and pretend to... read a book or something 49 00:08:47,518 --> 00:08:49,579 You've got a terrible tea stain on your book 50 00:08:49,687 --> 00:08:52,885 Look, I don't think you're a psychopath. I just want to read my book 51 00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:54,652 I, I understand. I apologise 52 00:08:56,261 --> 00:08:59,721 I'm in a little bit of a good mood today as a matter of fact so I'll just 53 00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:00,958 ...sorry 54 00:09:03,035 --> 00:09:04,591 Have we met before? 55 00:09:04,703 --> 00:09:08,233 No, no, honestly, honestly, I'm, you... you seem familiar 56 00:09:08,341 --> 00:09:09,830 I don't think so 57 00:09:10,475 --> 00:09:12,775 Yes... Yes, you were in the lift just now 58 00:09:13,313 --> 00:09:14,804 You dropped your earring, I picked it up 59 00:09:15,781 --> 00:09:18,080 Oh yes, you did... Thank you 60 00:09:18,184 --> 00:09:19,516 Pleasure 61 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:21,548 Do you work there? 62 00:09:21,654 --> 00:09:24,215 I did do but I've just been fired. Okay? 63 00:09:25,658 --> 00:09:28,628 Oh no, that's... that's horrible, I'm sorry 64 00:09:28,728 --> 00:09:30,698 It's okay, you didn't do it 65 00:09:30,796 --> 00:09:34,996 I thank you for your concern and glad you're in a good mood, et cetera 66 00:09:35,101 --> 00:09:38,368 I thank you for picking up my earring but... I just want to read my book 67 00:09:51,651 --> 00:09:54,555 Well, I get off at this stop. I'm only telling you in case 68 00:09:54,656 --> 00:09:55,781 you get off at this stop, too... 69 00:09:55,889 --> 00:09:57,222 ...and you get up before me and then I get up and you think 70 00:09:57,325 --> 00:09:58,224 I'm following you which I'm not 71 00:09:58,327 --> 00:10:01,025 I mean, I wouldn't. I mean... 72 00:10:01,763 --> 00:10:02,753 ...you know 73 00:10:04,199 --> 00:10:06,668 I really didn't mean any offence. Please forgive me 74 00:10:07,569 --> 00:10:09,937 I'm really not a nutcase... I apologise 75 00:10:16,846 --> 00:10:19,747 Excuse me. Um, I'm sorry 76 00:10:20,416 --> 00:10:23,751 I, I'm sure you're not a nutcase or a psycho or anything, it's just that, um 77 00:10:23,853 --> 00:10:28,156 ...I'm not, I'm not that good at, um... you know, um... 78 00:10:29,959 --> 00:10:32,258 Constructing sentences? 79 00:10:32,362 --> 00:10:33,420 Anyway... 80 00:10:34,130 --> 00:10:35,155 I'm James 81 00:10:36,099 --> 00:10:37,089 Helen 82 00:10:45,374 --> 00:10:47,605 I never figured out why we didn't make it, Gerry 83 00:10:48,444 --> 00:10:51,210 You went back to America, remember? I couldn't afford the bus fares 84 00:10:51,315 --> 00:10:52,613 I came back though 85 00:10:54,351 --> 00:10:58,984 Turn my back for three lousy years and you callously ditch me for another woman 86 00:10:59,857 --> 00:11:02,726 Mmm, I know, I suppose I'm just naturally impetuous 87 00:11:03,794 --> 00:11:06,993 I live with someone. A man. I live with a man 88 00:11:07,098 --> 00:11:08,224 Really? 89 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:12,127 Mmm! I have people consider soul mates who don't confide in me this much 90 00:11:12,237 --> 00:11:16,869 And what would he say if he knew you were walking up from the tube in broad daylight 91 00:11:16,975 --> 00:11:18,102 ...with a complete stranger? Mmm, big deal 92 00:11:24,416 --> 00:11:26,943 Well, it was nice to meet you, Helen... Sorry about your job, really 93 00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:29,352 I suppose being a Gemini can have its down sides 94 00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:32,750 Hey, remember what the Monty Python boys say? 95 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:35,721 What..."Always look on the bright side of life"? 96 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,297 No..."Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition" 97 00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:36,589 What? 98 00:12:48,839 --> 00:12:50,967 I didn't think you liked Elton John 99 00:12:52,542 --> 00:12:54,204 I, I do, I do sometimes 100 00:13:05,490 --> 00:13:08,220 You really shouldn't just stop like that. Set a woman back three days 101 00:13:08,327 --> 00:13:10,227 doing a thing like that 102 00:13:13,165 --> 00:13:14,462 Who is she? 103 00:13:15,832 --> 00:13:17,300 She's Lydia 104 00:13:30,717 --> 00:13:32,082 Well, I've had a dreadful day 105 00:13:32,885 --> 00:13:36,379 I got sacked. And so did you it would seem 106 00:13:38,723 --> 00:13:40,022 Cup of tea? 107 00:13:40,928 --> 00:13:41,987 That'd be nice 108 00:13:43,428 --> 00:13:46,400 You bastard! You bastard! 109 00:13:46,499 --> 00:13:48,865 You useless shagging bastard! 110 00:13:57,044 --> 00:14:02,451 I come home and catch you up to your nuts in Lady Shagging Godiva 111 00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:08,287 I am working all hours to support you while you are supposedly writing your first novel 112 00:14:11,127 --> 00:14:12,956 How long? Huh? 113 00:14:15,096 --> 00:14:17,122 Do you love her? 114 00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:20,327 No, don't tell me, I'm not interested 115 00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:26,908 I'm only asking because I need to know exactly how big a mug I am 116 00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:30,875 Look, er... Iook... 117 00:15:40,252 --> 00:15:41,685 Hello? Helen? Is that you? 118 00:15:41,787 --> 00:15:46,750 No, it's your bit of stuff. Wednesday... shag day, remember? 119 00:15:55,068 --> 00:15:56,900 Have you just got up, you lazy git? 120 00:15:57,002 --> 00:15:59,439 Er, no. Er... well I, er... 121 00:16:00,207 --> 00:16:02,175 ...I didn't sleep that well last night and then, er... 122 00:16:03,777 --> 00:16:07,078 you know when you left I kind of... I went into a really, er... 123 00:16:07,181 --> 00:16:10,948 ...a really, really deep, deep, er, deep, deep sleep 124 00:16:11,718 --> 00:16:14,952 And, er... I think I might be, er, coming, coming down with, er... anyway, er 125 00:16:15,624 --> 00:16:17,387 ...what are you doing home at this time of... 126 00:16:19,894 --> 00:16:22,729 Oh my God, what happened to you? 127 00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:27,794 Well, it depends. Which story do you want first? 128 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,097 What? 129 00:16:29,204 --> 00:16:32,175 Well... I got mugged. And... 130 00:16:36,178 --> 00:16:37,236 What are you doing? 131 00:16:38,948 --> 00:16:40,472 I can't stand Elton John. You know that 132 00:16:42,518 --> 00:16:45,614 Well, anyway... listen, tell me... 133 00:16:45,721 --> 00:16:47,350 ...what happened? What happened to your head? 134 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:50,717 Well, I got mugged and sacked only not in that order 135 00:16:50,826 --> 00:16:52,419 Although it wasn't an actual mugging, it was only an attempted mugging 136 00:16:52,528 --> 00:16:53,496 according to the policeman... 137 00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:55,963 ...because they didn't... 138 00:16:56,066 --> 00:16:57,966 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... wait a sec, wait a sec. 139 00:16:58,067 --> 00:16:59,263 Come here... Come here 140 00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:03,095 Now sit down. Just sit here. Okay? 141 00:17:04,975 --> 00:17:09,914 Now... now you're in shock, darling, okay. You've had a bit of 142 00:17:10,013 --> 00:17:11,446 a little bit of a shock. Okay? Now just relax 143 00:17:13,984 --> 00:17:15,816 Um... do you want a brandy? 144 00:17:17,288 --> 00:17:18,846 It's four in the afternoon 145 00:17:18,958 --> 00:17:20,483 Of course it is... sorry 146 00:17:21,825 --> 00:17:23,192 Gerry! 147 00:17:24,295 --> 00:17:25,728 Are you okay? 148 00:17:25,830 --> 00:17:29,233 Me? I'm fine... Um, I'm fine. I'm just... No, anyway, anyway 149 00:17:29,802 --> 00:17:31,564 Tell, tell, tell me what happened 150 00:17:58,666 --> 00:18:00,725 And I just couldn't help thinking... 151 00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:04,532 if I had just caught that bloody train it would never have happened 152 00:18:04,638 --> 00:18:06,630 I'd have been home ages ago 153 00:18:06,739 --> 00:18:10,700 Oh, well, you don't want to go wondering about things like that 154 00:18:10,809 --> 00:18:13,803 You know, um,'if only this', and 'what if that'. I mean... 155 00:18:17,784 --> 00:18:19,275 It's done now 156 00:18:20,521 --> 00:18:21,647 Come on 157 00:18:23,123 --> 00:18:24,284 Follow 158 00:18:25,526 --> 00:18:26,755 Splash 159 00:18:26,862 --> 00:18:28,693 I'm going to take you out... 160 00:18:28,796 --> 00:18:31,766 and get you alarmingly out of your head on Grolsch and then... 161 00:18:31,866 --> 00:18:34,462 Dry Thank you 162 00:18:34,568 --> 00:18:37,266 Um, and then follow, follow, follow, follow, follow... 163 00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:39,974 and then when you've sung all your favourite Barbra Streisand songs 164 00:18:40,074 --> 00:18:41,373 at the top of your voice... 165 00:18:41,477 --> 00:18:43,741 and got us slung out of the pub... 166 00:18:45,347 --> 00:18:46,609 Ah, here we are. Yeah, put this on 167 00:18:47,214 --> 00:18:50,244 I'm going to let you have intimate carnal knowledge of a Lamb Passanda 168 00:18:50,354 --> 00:18:52,151 ...which I know your diet does not allow, with a... 169 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,588 ...double Tarka Dahl which you can then, er... 170 00:18:54,691 --> 00:18:56,216 ...puke up all over the, er... pristine doorstep of Herr 171 00:18:56,324 --> 00:18:57,350 and Frau Goebbels next door and... 172 00:18:57,459 --> 00:19:00,021 I'll help you 173 00:19:01,565 --> 00:19:03,225 Oh, I love you, Gerry 174 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,269 Gerry! She's not here! 175 00:19:06,370 --> 00:19:09,203 Anna, you're Helen's best friend. I mean, where else would she be? 176 00:19:09,304 --> 00:19:11,297 Come in and search the place if you want. She's not here, Gerry 177 00:19:11,408 --> 00:19:16,815 What is it you've done anyway? It can't be that nice if she's walked out on you 178 00:19:16,914 --> 00:19:19,407 Okay, look, I, I'm sorry. Look, if she comes here... 179 00:19:19,516 --> 00:19:22,350 ...just let me know or, or get her to ring me or, or something 180 00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,217 That's all I ask 181 00:19:24,321 --> 00:19:26,517 Like you say, Gerry, I'm Helen's best friend 182 00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:28,717 If she comes here I'll do what she asks 183 00:19:55,756 --> 00:19:58,454 Well, she's got a point... You can't stand Elton John 184 00:19:58,557 --> 00:20:01,426 Russell, forget about Elton John. That's not the issue. What do I do? 185 00:20:01,527 --> 00:20:02,551 Gerry... 186 00:20:02,662 --> 00:20:04,564 you've been telling me for weeks you couldn't hack it juggling 187 00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:05,961 between Helen and Lydia... 188 00:20:06,066 --> 00:20:08,330 ...and you wish you hadn't got involved with her again 189 00:20:08,435 --> 00:20:09,265 I know 190 00:20:09,369 --> 00:20:11,600 And you didn't think you were cut out for infidelity 191 00:20:11,705 --> 00:20:12,535 I know 192 00:20:12,638 --> 00:20:15,370 But you couldn't end it with Lydia, 'cause you weren't sure how she'd take it 193 00:20:16,778 --> 00:20:20,307 And I told you that something if you remember my words, 194 00:20:20,414 --> 00:20:22,406 something 'ungoverned by you' would happen... 195 00:20:22,516 --> 00:20:24,781 ...to bring the situation to a head 196 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:27,882 And... something has 197 00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:35,218 It's not funny actually, Russell 198 00:20:35,798 --> 00:20:37,858 No, I'm sorry, old man... I beg to differ 199 00:20:38,499 --> 00:20:40,798 It is funny. It's very, very, very funny 200 00:20:42,404 --> 00:20:44,635 And look at you, it's not as though you're rushing frantically 201 00:20:44,739 --> 00:20:46,299 about the place trying to find her 202 00:20:46,408 --> 00:20:47,967 I went to Anna's. She wasn't there 203 00:20:48,077 --> 00:20:51,979 Oh, you went to Anna's. Boy, you're a one man SAS crack unit 204 00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:56,482 You want my opinion? 205 00:20:56,585 --> 00:20:58,143 Will I like it? 206 00:20:58,253 --> 00:21:00,815 Well, of course not... It'll be based on reality 207 00:21:09,832 --> 00:21:12,201 No, no, no. You don't advertise a new restaurant. It's very uncool 208 00:21:13,435 --> 00:21:15,405 It's word of mouth... People talk 209 00:21:16,005 --> 00:21:19,635 And how do these people who talk know where you are so that they can talk about you? 210 00:21:20,243 --> 00:21:22,577 Hey, listen, it's your restaurant, Clive. I just want it to work 211 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,478 Helen 212 00:21:24,581 --> 00:21:28,715 Hello, James. Rather annoying chatty bloke on the tube 213 00:21:29,787 --> 00:21:31,254 Oh yes, hi 214 00:21:31,589 --> 00:21:34,491 You look all stressed up with nowhere to go 215 00:21:34,592 --> 00:21:37,118 It's only a job, you'll get another one 216 00:21:37,228 --> 00:21:39,494 No, it's something else, isn't it? 217 00:21:39,597 --> 00:21:42,658 You know sometimes it helps to just say whatever it is out loud 218 00:21:44,035 --> 00:21:45,934 Of course it also helps if people just mind their own business 219 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,503 and leave you alone. I'm sorry 220 00:21:47,605 --> 00:21:50,839 When I left you at the tube earlier, I went home and found my boyfriend... 221 00:21:50,942 --> 00:21:52,239 ...in bed with another woman. Shit! 222 00:21:52,344 --> 00:21:57,250 Oh, I'm sorry. It's... I mean, what an idiot 223 00:21:58,016 --> 00:21:59,746 It's okay, you weren't to know 224 00:21:59,853 --> 00:22:01,787 No, not me, your boyfriend. He's an idiot 225 00:22:03,957 --> 00:22:06,153 Sorry, it's not my place 226 00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:08,425 It's okay 227 00:22:09,263 --> 00:22:12,234 Well, look, if it makes you feel any better, you see that bloke over there? 228 00:22:12,798 --> 00:22:15,667 Not only does he own a personalised matching set of crocodile skin luggage... 229 00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:17,931 ...but his favourite TV programme is'Baywatch' 230 00:22:19,137 --> 00:22:20,971 So you see there's always someone sadder than you 231 00:22:24,011 --> 00:22:25,171 Do you love him? 232 00:22:25,979 --> 00:22:29,073 No, I could never love a 'Baywatch' fan 233 00:22:30,951 --> 00:22:34,352 Hey, you did a joke in the midst of your turbulent emotional state 234 00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:36,390 That's very positive 235 00:22:37,158 --> 00:22:38,989 Listen, you decide you want company we're over here... Okay? 236 00:22:41,762 --> 00:22:42,923 I'm really sorry, Helen 237 00:22:56,312 --> 00:22:59,806 Two of your most disgustingly large Grolsches, please... 238 00:22:59,915 --> 00:23:03,215 ...and a large Jack Daniels with ice, and I'll have the same 239 00:23:08,323 --> 00:23:10,623 You're behind. Can we have another? 240 00:23:14,462 --> 00:23:15,796 Fifteen? 241 00:23:43,127 --> 00:23:45,096 Gerry came looking for you 242 00:23:45,197 --> 00:23:46,459 Is it what I think? 243 00:23:47,498 --> 00:23:48,989 Depends 244 00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:53,539 Is what you think that I walked in on him shagging 'Lydia' in my bed and I walked out? 245 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:55,835 Pretty much 246 00:23:56,208 --> 00:23:57,939 Then, yes 247 00:24:12,792 --> 00:24:13,851 Oh, hold up... hold up 248 00:24:15,260 --> 00:24:17,559 This morning was sensational 249 00:24:17,662 --> 00:24:19,689 Oh, I can't... sorry, I can't hear you 250 00:24:19,799 --> 00:24:21,289 I can't hear you 251 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:22,868 Gerry, can you hear me? 252 00:24:22,969 --> 00:24:23,833 Didn't know it was on 253 00:24:23,936 --> 00:24:25,928 Ready, steady, go! 254 00:24:28,708 --> 00:24:29,697 I'll see you, Clive 255 00:24:34,881 --> 00:24:36,144 Who's that? 256 00:24:36,250 --> 00:24:37,444 My friend 257 00:24:39,786 --> 00:24:42,278 Come on, you... Let's get you home. You drunken eejit 258 00:24:45,125 --> 00:24:46,422 And again 259 00:24:47,828 --> 00:24:49,058 Come along 260 00:24:50,963 --> 00:24:52,489 Can I give you a lift anywhere? 261 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,467 Er... yeah. That, that'll be great, thank you 262 00:24:55,568 --> 00:24:57,801 Oh, hands up if you drank too much, eh? 263 00:24:59,441 --> 00:25:01,534 Hey... I'm not as drunk as thinkle peep I am 264 00:25:01,643 --> 00:25:03,909 Put a wick in her mouth and she'd burn for a fortnight 265 00:25:10,317 --> 00:25:12,753 Um, 9 Menlove Avenue. Thanks a lot 266 00:25:17,393 --> 00:25:18,223 French bean, some chicken, some rice... 267 00:25:18,327 --> 00:25:19,885 ...one more little Indian 268 00:25:19,994 --> 00:25:22,659 No. Oh, come on. Really, I'll be sick 269 00:25:22,766 --> 00:25:24,529 Well, we're on schedule for that but we've gotta move location... 270 00:25:24,633 --> 00:25:26,295 ...so just don't swallow for ten minutes 271 00:25:30,941 --> 00:25:32,604 He didn't fancy me 272 00:25:32,709 --> 00:25:35,508 He, he offered us a lift. He was just being concerned 273 00:25:36,713 --> 00:25:39,343 Uh-huh... Well let me tell you, if he was being that concerned about me 274 00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:41,475 ...I wouldn't be helping you into bed right now 275 00:25:42,853 --> 00:25:43,877 Am lin bed? 276 00:25:43,986 --> 00:25:46,352 Yes... You're staying with me for a while 277 00:25:46,455 --> 00:25:48,288 Don't worry... You'll be fine 278 00:25:48,392 --> 00:25:49,882 Just fine 279 00:25:52,696 --> 00:25:55,690 There we go. There we go 280 00:26:01,073 --> 00:26:06,445 Are you some peculiar, thus far undefined breed of dickhead? 281 00:26:07,247 --> 00:26:10,307 You have two head problems 282 00:26:10,414 --> 00:26:15,217 One: That was close... Very close 283 00:26:15,854 --> 00:26:18,619 Put in layman's terms... she nearly caught you 284 00:26:19,726 --> 00:26:24,130 And two... and this is far more worrying than the first one 285 00:26:26,265 --> 00:26:28,393 You're talking to yourself in the mirror again 286 00:26:30,804 --> 00:26:32,135 Really bad sign 287 00:26:47,489 --> 00:26:51,584 No, bigger sip... big, bigger sip. Bigger sip... Don't throw up all over me 288 00:26:55,694 --> 00:26:57,687 There are no PR jobs 289 00:27:00,366 --> 00:27:02,358 I'm going to need some part-time work, Gerry 290 00:27:05,942 --> 00:27:07,739 What you need is a change of image 291 00:27:07,843 --> 00:27:12,281 Er, you know that goes back like and then like I don't know sort of comes like slant 292 00:27:47,250 --> 00:27:50,086 No, no... That's for you, sir 293 00:28:20,518 --> 00:28:24,957 Hey, gorgeous. What do you do when you're not serving up 'mad cow' burgers in here, eh? 294 00:28:25,056 --> 00:28:26,523 Well now then, let me see 295 00:28:26,625 --> 00:28:28,117 I get up about seven thirty a. M... 296 00:28:28,227 --> 00:28:30,720 ...make and deliver sandwiches in the West End during the day... 297 00:28:30,830 --> 00:28:33,355 ...before I come here about six o' clock and finish at midnight 298 00:28:33,465 --> 00:28:36,834 After that, if I've got any energy left, I give my boyfriend a blow job 299 00:28:36,937 --> 00:28:39,201 Would you like some mayonnaise with that? 300 00:28:40,873 --> 00:28:41,638 You don't mean that 301 00:28:41,740 --> 00:28:43,505 I do... Really 302 00:28:45,045 --> 00:28:47,742 So... you were together two and a half years, and... 303 00:28:49,114 --> 00:28:51,709 ...you've been sitting here like suicide on a stick for a week 304 00:28:51,818 --> 00:28:53,811 Nine days, Anna 305 00:28:54,988 --> 00:28:56,286 But bollocks to him? 306 00:28:56,389 --> 00:29:01,227 Yes. I mean why hasn't he even called to see if I'm okay to admit that he's a twat? 307 00:29:02,630 --> 00:29:04,030 "Hello, Helen, it's Gerry 308 00:29:04,131 --> 00:29:06,760 I'm a twat. Please come home, I love you. " All that shit 309 00:29:06,867 --> 00:29:09,961 Oh, I don't care anyway Bollocks to him. I'm over him 310 00:29:10,273 --> 00:29:12,137 Oh... you're over him 311 00:29:12,239 --> 00:29:15,676 Yes. Totally and utterly and completely over him 312 00:29:15,777 --> 00:29:16,574 No, you're not 313 00:29:16,678 --> 00:29:17,405 I am 314 00:29:17,511 --> 00:29:18,240 You're not 315 00:29:18,348 --> 00:29:21,477 Anna, I'm over him. What do you mean I'm not? How do you know I'm not? 316 00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:24,918 Well, two things really 317 00:29:25,021 --> 00:29:27,546 One: You're still counting how long you've been apart in days... 318 00:29:27,656 --> 00:29:29,487 ...and probably hours and minutes 319 00:29:29,591 --> 00:29:32,927 But... the big flashing red light way of telling you're not really over someone 320 00:29:33,029 --> 00:29:34,894 ...is when you're still reading their horoscope... 321 00:29:34,997 --> 00:29:37,763 in the hope that they're going to get wiped out in some freak napalming incident 322 00:29:38,334 --> 00:29:39,496 Smart arse 323 00:29:41,004 --> 00:29:41,972 What is he? 324 00:29:42,070 --> 00:29:43,162 A wanker 325 00:29:44,207 --> 00:29:46,004 Oh, Aries 326 00:29:46,110 --> 00:29:48,044 Aries. Aries 327 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,539 Well... just shows how much I know 328 00:29:53,648 --> 00:29:57,916 With Mars your ruler in the ascendancy... you will get wiped out in a freak napalming incident 329 00:29:58,022 --> 00:30:00,185 ...and Helen says bollocks to you This guy's very good 330 00:30:05,728 --> 00:30:08,220 You go. No, I will. No, you 331 00:30:08,999 --> 00:30:12,460 I'm not in, I'm out. You don't know where or who with 332 00:30:12,570 --> 00:30:14,264 Specially who with 333 00:30:15,407 --> 00:30:16,931 Quickly, go on 334 00:30:17,043 --> 00:30:19,477 I am not answering the door like this 335 00:30:19,576 --> 00:30:22,776 Anna, please, you have to. It won't be him anyway 336 00:30:23,381 --> 00:30:24,644 So there's no big deal, is there? 337 00:30:30,590 --> 00:30:32,580 Bollocks to him 338 00:30:32,691 --> 00:30:34,853 Bollocks to him. Bollocks to him. Bollocks to him. Bollocks to him. Bollocks to him 339 00:30:34,961 --> 00:30:37,086 Bollocks to him 340 00:30:48,674 --> 00:30:52,945 Come on. You don't drink your fatty drinks, you'll never really achieve quality cellulite 341 00:30:54,647 --> 00:30:56,479 Haircut suits you by the way. No, it does. It does, no gag 342 00:30:56,583 --> 00:31:02,583 Never make a joke about women's hair, clothes or menstrual cycles, page one 343 00:31:02,689 --> 00:31:05,488 Look, James, maybe I shouldn't be here 344 00:31:05,592 --> 00:31:08,392 I'm sorry, I'm not being fair 345 00:31:09,963 --> 00:31:14,903 You know, under normal... circumstances, et cetera... you're really nice... and funny 346 00:31:15,002 --> 00:31:18,404 My friend Anna thinks you're cute 347 00:31:18,506 --> 00:31:20,099 Wait, hold, hold 348 00:31:20,210 --> 00:31:23,645 Your friend Anna thinks I'm cute? Your friend Anna thinks I'm cute?! 349 00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,378 Shit, I just blew, wait... 350 00:31:28,315 --> 00:31:30,581 Two eighty-five, two eighty-five on the wrong girl 351 00:31:32,352 --> 00:31:33,651 Helen, listen... 352 00:31:34,089 --> 00:31:37,151 sometimes we are plonked into people's lives when they just need to be cheered up and reassured 353 00:31:37,258 --> 00:31:42,758 ...and it turns out that for some reason it's your job 354 00:31:42,866 --> 00:31:44,528 We don't know why. In your case it's my job 355 00:31:44,634 --> 00:31:47,297 But I'll be honest... 356 00:31:48,504 --> 00:31:52,772 the fact that I find you... moderately attractive just makes the job easier on my part 357 00:31:53,609 --> 00:31:57,674 My intentions are completely honourable I have no desire to overstep the mark, seriously 358 00:31:59,582 --> 00:32:01,643 D'you prefer diamonds or sapphires? 359 00:32:01,752 --> 00:32:03,013 Sorry, nothing 360 00:32:03,118 --> 00:32:04,883 'Moderately attractive'? 361 00:32:04,989 --> 00:32:07,753 Uh-huh, I knew you were listening 362 00:32:07,858 --> 00:32:11,489 Well, you know, lose the sad eyes, the droopy mouth, I could get you an upgrade 363 00:32:13,497 --> 00:32:16,229 So... having firml y established the ground rules... 364 00:32:16,333 --> 00:32:18,167 ...what are you doing two weeks on Saturday? 365 00:32:18,337 --> 00:32:19,494 Probably killing myself 366 00:32:19,603 --> 00:32:21,663 Excellent. What time does that finish? 367 00:32:21,772 --> 00:32:23,206 Do you like boats? 368 00:32:26,276 --> 00:32:28,405 D'you know we haven't done that for two months 369 00:32:28,511 --> 00:32:30,448 Don't be daft 370 00:32:30,550 --> 00:32:33,385 Two months... Almost to the day 371 00:32:34,218 --> 00:32:37,212 Almost to the day? Listen to you what are we, a survey? 372 00:32:38,822 --> 00:32:40,019 Gerry... 373 00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:44,662 ...how did one of my Waterford crystal brandy glasses get into the laundry basket? 374 00:32:45,766 --> 00:32:46,595 To the where? 375 00:32:46,700 --> 00:32:48,030 The laundry basket 376 00:32:49,534 --> 00:32:53,064 I don't know. Can I answer questions on 70s pop music? 377 00:32:53,172 --> 00:32:56,768 Last week, when I got the sack and I came back, am I going mad? 378 00:32:56,876 --> 00:33:00,439 But there was a bottle of brandy and two glasses on the dressing table, wasn't there? 379 00:33:01,447 --> 00:33:03,211 I don't know. I mean, I couldn't really say 380 00:33:03,317 --> 00:33:04,875 Well, there were, I'm sure 381 00:33:04,985 --> 00:33:07,715 Oh, hang on, no, wait a minute. No, I, no, I could say 382 00:33:07,821 --> 00:33:10,756 There was a bottle and one glass because if you... 383 00:33:10,856 --> 00:33:13,121 No, I'm certain there were two glasses, Gerry 384 00:33:13,226 --> 00:33:17,165 Helen, I'm... not sure I like where this conversation is going 385 00:33:17,264 --> 00:33:21,602 I, I told you, I couldn't sleep so I got up in the night... 386 00:33:21,703 --> 00:33:23,136 to get a drink to knock myself out It was still there 387 00:33:23,238 --> 00:33:24,170 in the afternoon when you got home 388 00:33:24,272 --> 00:33:27,141 I mean you had also, that day if, if you remember had taken a blow 389 00:33:27,241 --> 00:33:29,142 to the, the, the, the head 390 00:33:30,445 --> 00:33:31,641 We'd just had a party 391 00:33:31,747 --> 00:33:35,114 Maybe one of y our mad friends like Anna threw it there 392 00:33:36,217 --> 00:33:37,344 I mean, Jesus 393 00:33:38,455 --> 00:33:41,856 Let's, let's spoil the moment properly, shall we? 394 00:33:41,957 --> 00:33:43,084 What are you trying to say? 395 00:33:43,193 --> 00:33:45,684 Am I shagging a brandy drinker? Yes 396 00:33:45,793 --> 00:33:49,492 Gerry, ease up, will you, for Christ's sake. I'm only asking 397 00:33:50,033 --> 00:33:53,937 Oh, no, women never ask. No, they don't ask, they insinuate 398 00:33:54,038 --> 00:33:57,700 And you are insinuating, not very subtly, may I add, that I am... 399 00:34:02,378 --> 00:34:03,277 Thanks 400 00:34:04,313 --> 00:34:07,750 No, no, no. No, no, no, no, thank you, thanks 401 00:34:09,319 --> 00:34:11,653 I mean... I mean thank you... thank you 402 00:34:12,790 --> 00:34:15,520 I mean this, you know, this, this is the... this is the right time, 403 00:34:15,625 --> 00:34:18,061 isn't it, to address our, our relationship, isn't it? 404 00:34:18,162 --> 00:34:21,327 I mean, it's, it's, it's perfect. Perfect moment 405 00:34:21,432 --> 00:34:24,596 Gerry, for God's sakes, I asked a simple question 406 00:34:24,701 --> 00:34:26,534 There's no need to become Woody Allen 407 00:34:39,184 --> 00:34:42,177 Thanks, James. I'm sorry if you had a lousy time 408 00:34:42,285 --> 00:34:43,346 Are you kidding? 409 00:34:43,454 --> 00:34:45,947 In my book getting to drink two chocolate milkshakes 410 00:34:46,059 --> 00:34:47,924 in the one sitting represents social splendour 411 00:34:48,025 --> 00:34:49,790 It's one of the perks of being shallow 412 00:34:50,663 --> 00:34:52,598 Take care, Helen. You'll be fine 413 00:35:09,751 --> 00:35:11,047 Thank you very much 414 00:35:20,059 --> 00:35:23,930 It's amazing how you can actually learn to despise inanimate objects... 415 00:35:24,029 --> 00:35:25,727 ...like tin openers that don't open tins... 416 00:35:25,834 --> 00:35:28,166 ...egg mayonnaise and skipjack tuna 417 00:35:28,935 --> 00:35:29,700 Are you going out? 418 00:35:30,505 --> 00:35:32,030 Yeah. I was just writing you a note 419 00:35:32,140 --> 00:35:34,132 I'm off to the library. I have some stuff to read up on 420 00:35:35,110 --> 00:35:35,805 Okay 421 00:35:36,644 --> 00:35:38,772 Yeah, well... I won't be more than a couple of hours 422 00:35:40,848 --> 00:35:42,373 Would you rather I didn't go? 423 00:35:42,484 --> 00:35:44,349 Oh no, no, of course not. Go 424 00:35:46,055 --> 00:35:47,181 Okay, bye 425 00:36:36,807 --> 00:36:39,210 Lydia, what are you talking about? She followed me 426 00:36:39,310 --> 00:36:41,540 I said I was going to the library... 427 00:36:41,645 --> 00:36:44,377 ...so I've come to the library, for God's sake! 428 00:36:46,417 --> 00:36:48,613 Of course I can't come now, I mean what if she's still lurking 429 00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,621 or waiting round the corner or something? 430 00:36:52,524 --> 00:36:53,752 Lydia, I don't know why she followed me. 431 00:36:53,858 --> 00:36:55,087 I'm not a sleuth! I have taken two hours off work, Gerry... 432 00:36:55,728 --> 00:36:58,594 Oh, look, look, please. No, okay, please don't get hysterical 433 00:36:58,696 --> 00:37:01,064 Don't get hysterical. Look, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry 434 00:37:01,333 --> 00:37:03,928 I've booked a hotel in Dorset. Are we still going? 435 00:37:04,036 --> 00:37:07,269 Do you wanna cancel it? I mean, is, is she gonna follow us there? 436 00:37:07,372 --> 00:37:09,171 Do you wanna end this Gerry because I am... 437 00:37:09,276 --> 00:37:11,870 Yes, I, I, I mean no. I, I mean, no, I, I don't want 438 00:37:11,977 --> 00:37:15,505 Of course we're still going. I don't... don't, don't... 439 00:37:16,817 --> 00:37:18,511 Don't, don't, don't, don't what? 440 00:37:19,085 --> 00:37:20,451 I don't know 441 00:37:20,554 --> 00:37:24,356 Look... we're going to dorset, okay. We're going to have a great time... and, er 442 00:37:26,427 --> 00:37:27,655 ...I'll talk to you tomorrow 443 00:37:36,805 --> 00:37:41,003 Right, that's the lot. You don't live there anymore 444 00:37:41,777 --> 00:37:43,267 Thanks for going again, Anna 445 00:37:44,844 --> 00:37:46,871 Any evidence of 'her'? 446 00:37:46,981 --> 00:37:48,348 Nothing that stood out 447 00:37:52,655 --> 00:37:53,519 Hello? 448 00:37:54,389 --> 00:37:55,980 Hi, it's James. Is Helen there? 449 00:37:56,090 --> 00:37:57,321 Helen 450 00:37:59,261 --> 00:38:00,286 It's James 451 00:38:05,166 --> 00:38:06,758 Hello? 452 00:38:07,938 --> 00:38:11,500 Yes, 'tonight' tonight, you know the tonight that comes immediately after today 453 00:38:12,308 --> 00:38:14,710 He wants to go out tonight 454 00:38:14,810 --> 00:38:16,403 Go 455 00:38:16,513 --> 00:38:18,208 Please come, it'll be a laugh 456 00:38:18,314 --> 00:38:20,909 Um... okay 457 00:38:21,617 --> 00:38:23,745 See you 458 00:38:26,658 --> 00:38:27,283 Okay? 459 00:38:27,391 --> 00:38:29,484 She doesn't wanna leave here 460 00:38:30,527 --> 00:38:31,494 I know 461 00:38:31,694 --> 00:38:34,996 She's really frail, James. Do you want me to postpone my trip? 462 00:38:35,098 --> 00:38:36,621 There's another course later in the year 463 00:38:36,732 --> 00:38:38,725 It's only a couple of weeks. You should go 464 00:38:38,835 --> 00:38:40,234 Are you sure? It's not that important 465 00:38:40,338 --> 00:38:43,035 It is important. I want you to go 466 00:38:43,141 --> 00:38:44,199 Okay 467 00:38:45,143 --> 00:38:47,305 It's going to be hard to leave this place, James, but... 468 00:38:47,411 --> 00:38:49,746 But you've still got the London flat 469 00:38:50,515 --> 00:38:53,712 You'll be nearer the hospital and you can get much better crack in twon 470 00:38:56,588 --> 00:38:58,454 Hey, you know what the Monty Python boys say... 471 00:38:58,557 --> 00:39:01,926 "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition", I know 472 00:39:02,727 --> 00:39:03,625 Exactly 473 00:39:03,728 --> 00:39:05,163 ...sorry, let me just... 474 00:39:06,366 --> 00:39:08,301 ...Lydia's becoming more and more demanding... 475 00:39:08,401 --> 00:39:10,231 and you, you feel bad because Helen's working night and 476 00:39:10,336 --> 00:39:12,238 day to keep the money coming in 477 00:39:12,738 --> 00:39:15,731 But you've asked Helen to come on a research trip to Dorset with you... 478 00:39:16,508 --> 00:39:20,970 knowing that she wouldn't be able to... to cover up the fact... 479 00:39:21,549 --> 00:39:23,447 that you're really taking Lydia And, and despite the fact that... 480 00:39:23,548 --> 00:39:26,485 Lydia gave you an 'out' on the phone, which you didn't take... 481 00:39:26,585 --> 00:39:28,052 ...you are having a moral dilemma 482 00:39:28,655 --> 00:39:31,318 Gerry... you are a morality free zone 483 00:39:31,425 --> 00:39:33,893 If I had no morals, would I be discussing it? 484 00:39:34,961 --> 00:39:37,932 Whose idea was this trip... yours or Lydia's? 485 00:39:40,601 --> 00:39:42,331 You wanna get out of this Lydia thing 486 00:39:42,436 --> 00:39:44,132 I foresee problems 487 00:39:44,538 --> 00:39:47,440 And I wouldn't mind betting you're talking to yourself in the mirror again 488 00:39:49,409 --> 00:39:50,742 Very bad sign 489 00:39:50,845 --> 00:39:53,407 You've no compassion... None 490 00:39:53,513 --> 00:39:56,347 Why do I bother confiding in you? 491 00:39:56,449 --> 00:39:59,385 I'm your mate. I'm here to help you 492 00:40:04,861 --> 00:40:06,329 I'm here to help you 493 00:40:11,634 --> 00:40:13,864 Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! 494 00:40:13,970 --> 00:40:16,303 Our chief weapon is surprise 495 00:40:16,406 --> 00:40:16,805 Surprise and fear. Fear and surprise 496 00:40:16,906 --> 00:40:20,276 Our two, two chief weapons are surprise and fear 497 00:40:20,377 --> 00:40:21,969 And a ruthless efficiency. Our three... 498 00:40:22,077 --> 00:40:25,104 ...three main weapons are fear, surprise and a ruthless efficiency 499 00:40:25,748 --> 00:40:27,081 I'll come in again 500 00:40:30,755 --> 00:40:31,846 Here we go 501 00:40:34,425 --> 00:40:35,892 Pass me your plate 502 00:40:35,993 --> 00:40:37,985 How do you do, Nigel? Very nice to meet you 503 00:40:40,697 --> 00:40:42,633 You all right? 504 00:40:47,438 --> 00:40:49,270 I am deadly serious 505 00:40:49,373 --> 00:40:51,707 Oh, just set up my own PR company? 506 00:40:51,810 --> 00:40:53,335 Yeah, well, why not? 507 00:40:53,446 --> 00:40:56,280 You've got the experience... the know-how, the contacts 508 00:40:57,082 --> 00:40:58,845 You want to spend the rest of your life working for other people? 509 00:40:59,615 --> 00:41:01,642 Hey, what's the worst that could possibly happen? 510 00:41:02,222 --> 00:41:05,521 Um, I could fail miserably and look like a complete tosser 511 00:41:05,623 --> 00:41:07,718 Exactly, so what is there to worry about? 512 00:41:16,101 --> 00:41:17,967 I had a really nice time, James 513 00:41:18,070 --> 00:41:21,199 Did you? Oh, shit. Sorry, that's against the rules, isn't it? 514 00:41:21,306 --> 00:41:24,175 Yes, it is, so just bear that in mind in the future, would you? 515 00:41:24,277 --> 00:41:26,404 I'm getting over a major break-up 516 00:41:26,512 --> 00:41:28,880 Yeah, sorry... Won't happen again 517 00:41:36,090 --> 00:41:37,215 Goodnight, Helen 518 00:41:41,761 --> 00:41:44,231 Hey... you know everything happens for the best 519 00:41:44,331 --> 00:41:46,493 You'll never know if you don't try 520 00:41:46,601 --> 00:41:49,798 Wear something warm on Saturday... Can get cold on the river 521 00:41:50,606 --> 00:41:51,664 Take care 522 00:42:09,825 --> 00:42:12,055 So, what other ideas has James run by you? 523 00:42:12,660 --> 00:42:15,861 Anna, don't do that. Don't do 'desperate mother' acting with me 524 00:42:15,966 --> 00:42:18,297 He's a friend. Okay? A friend 525 00:42:22,870 --> 00:42:24,704 not remotely in him No 526 00:42:25,475 --> 00:42:28,377 So how come last night was the first night since you've been here... you didn't ask 527 00:42:28,476 --> 00:42:30,412 if anyone had called the second you walked in the door? 528 00:43:16,963 --> 00:43:18,864 You're sorry? 529 00:43:18,965 --> 00:43:22,767 You're sorry that four of the staff here have been cut down... with food poisoning 530 00:43:22,868 --> 00:43:24,896 after eating your sandwiches? 531 00:43:25,604 --> 00:43:27,073 And before you speak, yes... 532 00:43:27,172 --> 00:43:30,736 ...they all had the same sandwiches and the same symptoms at the same time 533 00:43:31,776 --> 00:43:33,802 Are you trained in the catering trade, may I ask? 534 00:43:34,647 --> 00:43:36,548 No, actually I worked in PR but I... 535 00:43:36,649 --> 00:43:40,313 Well, you're not doing a particularly good PR job this morning, are you? 536 00:43:40,621 --> 00:43:44,490 Luckily for you I've convinced my colleagues not to take the matter any further 537 00:43:44,590 --> 00:43:46,423 This time 538 00:43:46,525 --> 00:43:49,155 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have five people's work to do 539 00:43:51,565 --> 00:43:52,624 Sorry? 540 00:43:52,732 --> 00:43:55,566 Helen has been delivering sandwiches to your office? 541 00:43:55,669 --> 00:43:58,334 Yes... And today I had reason to summon her 542 00:43:59,340 --> 00:44:01,242 Well I made up a reason, to be brutally honest 543 00:44:02,409 --> 00:44:05,642 She's quite pretty in a British horsey sort of way, isn't she? 544 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:08,348 Lydia... what are you playing at? 545 00:44:08,449 --> 00:44:11,010 Have you gone raving mad? She's not bloody stupid, you know 546 00:44:11,118 --> 00:44:16,118 I wanted to see what the woman you ditched me for is like 547 00:44:16,690 --> 00:44:19,786 Now, now, now, now wait a sec. Now I did not ditch you for... 548 00:44:19,894 --> 00:44:21,226 I mean, you went back to America for... 549 00:44:21,329 --> 00:44:25,462 I wanted to see what this girl you seem to have no intention of leaving... 550 00:44:25,567 --> 00:44:30,006 despite the occasional pre-orgasmic suggestion that you are... 551 00:44:30,106 --> 00:44:32,438 ...has that is so unleavable 552 00:44:32,541 --> 00:44:35,670 And I have to say that I ended our brief meeting at a bit of a loss 553 00:44:36,212 --> 00:44:38,236 Now, Lydia, don't talk like this. Now it sounds ugly 554 00:44:38,348 --> 00:44:42,046 Now I've told you before, I cannot leave Helen for... for... 555 00:44:43,987 --> 00:44:44,955 you know 556 00:44:45,054 --> 00:44:46,079 For me? 557 00:44:48,892 --> 00:44:50,985 Is that what you're trying say? 558 00:44:51,759 --> 00:44:54,356 You can't leave her for me? 559 00:44:55,266 --> 00:44:57,258 Well, you haven't said you wanted that, have you? 560 00:44:57,367 --> 00:44:59,428 Gerry, I'm a woman 561 00:44:59,536 --> 00:45:01,836 We don't say what we want. 562 00:45:01,939 --> 00:45:04,875 But we reserve the right to be pissed off if we don't get it 563 00:45:04,976 --> 00:45:07,675 That's what makes us so fascinating 564 00:45:07,777 --> 00:45:09,540 And not a little bit scary 565 00:45:12,051 --> 00:45:13,142 Hello? 566 00:45:13,252 --> 00:45:16,118 Ah, Gerald Flannigan, at last 567 00:45:16,220 --> 00:45:18,553 This is your kindly Uncle Russell here 568 00:45:19,757 --> 00:45:20,588 Listen... 569 00:45:20,692 --> 00:45:24,152 ...wherever you were tonight as if we need to ask, you weren't with me 570 00:45:24,262 --> 00:45:26,025 Helen called here looking for you 571 00:45:26,131 --> 00:45:27,291 Okay 572 00:45:27,398 --> 00:45:28,196 Yeah, all right 573 00:45:28,301 --> 00:45:29,598 Okay, thanks, mate. Bye 574 00:45:31,069 --> 00:45:33,936 Oh, thank God, I was so worried. Where have you been? 575 00:45:34,808 --> 00:45:37,901 I went to Anna's. I needed to see a friendly face 576 00:45:39,212 --> 00:45:40,907 I've had a horrible day 577 00:45:41,014 --> 00:45:44,415 I met Cruella de Ville's less nice sister this morning... 578 00:45:44,517 --> 00:45:46,179 ...she completely deflated me 579 00:45:46,286 --> 00:45:47,981 I know 580 00:45:48,087 --> 00:45:50,079 How do you know? 581 00:45:50,189 --> 00:45:53,718 Oh, no, I mean I can tell. Jesus, you look terrible 582 00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:02,527 Where were you earlier? I really needed to talk to you 583 00:46:03,537 --> 00:46:07,704 Oh, I had some stuff to read up on so I went to the library 584 00:46:08,442 --> 00:46:10,741 God, you're always at the library 585 00:46:12,147 --> 00:46:14,171 I'm sich of waiting on tables 586 00:46:14,582 --> 00:46:17,483 I know when you finish the book we'll be millionaires but... 587 00:46:19,288 --> 00:46:21,017 ...when are you going to finish it? 588 00:46:22,856 --> 00:46:24,348 I'm going to finish it very soon, Helen 589 00:46:26,528 --> 00:46:27,826 Very soon 590 00:46:30,833 --> 00:46:34,030 Helen, there's something I want to tell you 591 00:46:35,403 --> 00:46:37,168 I need to tell you 592 00:46:38,441 --> 00:46:43,814 Er... it's a little bit to do with the... brandy glass and, er... 593 00:46:43,914 --> 00:46:46,678 ...a little bit to do with that woman... you met today 594 00:46:47,884 --> 00:46:51,821 Only... please let me finish before you say anything 595 00:46:53,389 --> 00:46:54,619 Okay? 596 00:46:58,962 --> 00:47:00,055 Helen? 597 00:47:04,202 --> 00:47:05,361 Bollocks 598 00:47:06,071 --> 00:47:08,595 Come on, James! 599 00:47:10,842 --> 00:47:12,606 Come on, come on! 600 00:47:14,711 --> 00:47:17,147 Come on, come on! 601 00:47:37,236 --> 00:47:38,567 That's really weird 602 00:47:38,669 --> 00:47:41,265 I knew there'd be a boat race going by with purple and white shirts 603 00:47:42,674 --> 00:47:44,074 Sorry? 604 00:47:44,178 --> 00:47:46,408 Why hasn't he asked you to go with him to Dorset? 605 00:47:46,513 --> 00:47:48,539 He has... I've got to work 606 00:47:48,648 --> 00:47:51,619 Anyway it'll be good for him to get away. We need a bit of space 607 00:47:53,986 --> 00:47:55,978 Anna, can I ask you a daft question? 608 00:47:56,556 --> 00:47:59,856 Did you drop a glass in the laundry basket at our party? 609 00:48:00,793 --> 00:48:03,457 Sounds like a ridiculous thing to do. It was almost certainly me 610 00:48:05,498 --> 00:48:06,523 Are you okay? 611 00:48:06,634 --> 00:48:08,124 Just going quietly mad 612 00:48:08,235 --> 00:48:09,462 Thank God for that. I was worried 613 00:48:12,505 --> 00:48:14,737 Faster 614 00:48:20,681 --> 00:48:22,673 And to my left... 615 00:48:22,784 --> 00:48:24,776 And to my right... 616 00:48:24,884 --> 00:48:27,048 And with my left... 617 00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:28,783 And with my right... 618 00:48:29,557 --> 00:48:32,356 And with the 'head'... 619 00:48:34,028 --> 00:48:39,767 Father Abraham 'head' had seven sons, head', '¡head' 620 00:48:39,868 --> 00:48:43,705 Seven sons had Father Abraham 'head' 621 00:48:45,707 --> 00:48:47,676 Are you sure it's just writer's block? 622 00:48:48,678 --> 00:48:50,110 I mean, you seem so distant 623 00:48:52,281 --> 00:48:55,481 I'm here, Gerry, if you need to talk to me about anything 624 00:48:56,186 --> 00:48:57,414 Hey, that's Helen in there 625 00:49:01,724 --> 00:49:03,057 Look, she's got blonde hair 626 00:49:04,428 --> 00:49:07,990 There's loads of them... having some kind of sponsored epileptic fit 627 00:49:12,636 --> 00:49:13,762 Lydia 628 00:49:14,805 --> 00:49:17,402 Maybe it isn't writer's block at all, Gerry 629 00:49:18,507 --> 00:49:20,534 Maybe it's Helen block 630 00:49:21,479 --> 00:49:27,512 I don't want to hear about Helen. I don't care about Helen 631 00:49:30,855 --> 00:49:35,227 The trouble is... you do quite clearly 632 00:49:37,963 --> 00:49:40,124 I just thought of a great finish for your book! 633 00:49:41,864 --> 00:49:43,801 The End! 634 00:49:57,953 --> 00:49:59,782 Yes, you are, Clive 635 00:49:59,886 --> 00:50:02,550 He's opening his first restaurant in six days... 636 00:50:02,656 --> 00:50:04,955 ...and he's completely disorganised 637 00:50:05,058 --> 00:50:09,556 Well, you know at my old company we had 'wars ' getting Pierre Claude's restaurant open 638 00:50:09,663 --> 00:50:11,824 You did Pierre Claude? 639 00:50:12,698 --> 00:50:16,261 Mmm Er, he's my hero. You did his launch? 640 00:50:17,003 --> 00:50:19,734 Well I heard that was a really classy do. People went on about it 641 00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:22,669 I mean, six days is... 642 00:50:24,244 --> 00:50:26,214 ...could I come down and take a look? 643 00:50:26,314 --> 00:50:28,612 I can't promise anything stupendous 644 00:50:28,714 --> 00:50:32,120 Sure, yeah. Yeah, no problem... You're kidding? 645 00:50:32,653 --> 00:50:33,882 Yeah, come down 646 00:50:33,989 --> 00:50:36,481 Pierre Claude? Oh, wow! 647 00:50:40,962 --> 00:50:44,399 You're very thoughtful, James. You give out an incredible amount 648 00:50:45,166 --> 00:50:48,730 Oh, you're the same. You encouraged me today 649 00:50:48,837 --> 00:50:50,964 I saw you jumping up and down like a mad thing 650 00:50:52,207 --> 00:50:53,540 Spurred me on 651 00:50:56,777 --> 00:51:00,147 I love this bridge. My great grandfather helped to build it 652 00:51:02,150 --> 00:51:05,849 I often come and... stand on it when I want to, um... 653 00:51:07,457 --> 00:51:09,153 Build a bridge? 654 00:51:09,993 --> 00:51:11,393 I'm sorry 655 00:51:20,037 --> 00:51:21,232 Oh God, James, don't 656 00:51:22,907 --> 00:51:24,807 Oh... I'm sorry. I, I... 657 00:51:25,542 --> 00:51:30,310 ...I know this is an ideal sort of kissing moment... 658 00:51:30,413 --> 00:51:33,511 ...you know, night, moon, boat, water lapping... 659 00:51:34,086 --> 00:51:37,147 ...you know, it's, um... i t's perfect and I'm... 660 00:51:37,254 --> 00:51:40,590 ...I'm not feeling that it would be nice... 661 00:51:40,693 --> 00:51:43,322 ...but I don't really know anything about you and I'm... 662 00:51:44,697 --> 00:51:46,823 ...I'm still on the rebound 663 00:51:46,931 --> 00:51:49,662 Oh God, I hate that word but I am 664 00:51:49,768 --> 00:51:51,932 Ah, who isn't? Everyone is 665 00:51:52,038 --> 00:51:55,166 I'm on the rebound myself... in a way... 666 00:51:57,609 --> 00:51:59,771 So, who are you on the rebound from? 667 00:52:01,114 --> 00:52:03,105 A girl called Pamela 668 00:52:03,216 --> 00:52:06,117 My whole life pivots around. Pam and I breaking up 669 00:52:06,219 --> 00:52:07,346 When was that? 670 00:52:07,454 --> 00:52:09,479 1973, we were eight 671 00:52:10,890 --> 00:52:13,156 I bloody loved that woman 672 00:52:13,260 --> 00:52:17,129 No warning, just up gone... left me for somebody else 673 00:52:17,799 --> 00:52:18,925 Who? 674 00:52:19,032 --> 00:52:21,227 Gary Glitter! The cow 675 00:52:21,333 --> 00:52:24,931 Gary Glitter, for crying out loud! 676 00:52:25,672 --> 00:52:30,078 I mean all my friends were being left for Donny Osmond or David Cassidy or... 677 00:52:30,179 --> 00:52:32,409 I could have come to terms with that, given time 678 00:52:33,045 --> 00:52:36,211 But Gary. Oh she wanted to 'touch him there, yeah' 679 00:52:37,153 --> 00:52:38,380 You know? 680 00:52:38,486 --> 00:52:40,683 Well, I went to pieces as you can imagine 681 00:52:40,789 --> 00:52:43,225 And there was no 'junior Prozac' to see me through so... 682 00:52:55,270 --> 00:52:57,203 So I, er, I, um... 683 00:52:57,305 --> 00:52:58,273 I kissed you 684 00:52:58,374 --> 00:53:00,466 Yeah, yeah, I spotted that too 685 00:53:00,576 --> 00:53:02,477 You weren't gonna do that 686 00:53:04,314 --> 00:53:08,046 Um, hmm... would you mind, um... just putting that down to 687 00:53:08,149 --> 00:53:10,552 a momentary lapse of, um, concentration? 688 00:53:11,186 --> 00:53:12,278 Is that what it was? 689 00:53:12,388 --> 00:53:13,753 No 690 00:53:13,856 --> 00:53:16,453 Y-yes, I don't... Oh, help 691 00:53:22,732 --> 00:53:26,795 I, I don't want to be a confusion in your life, Helen. I don't truly 692 00:53:27,103 --> 00:53:30,700 But something's happened to me since I've met you and... 693 00:53:31,609 --> 00:53:35,740 ...that I wasn't expecting and... and I don't really... 694 00:53:37,114 --> 00:53:39,549 ...well, well wasn't expecting 695 00:53:40,085 --> 00:53:42,645 Repetition of expecting. Must buy a thesaurus 696 00:53:42,753 --> 00:53:43,687 Anyway, I... 697 00:54:52,994 --> 00:54:55,521 You did remember to take a full page ad in 'Adulterer's Weekly'? Jesus! 698 00:55:01,270 --> 00:55:02,965 Lydia, get in the car, will you? 699 00:55:03,071 --> 00:55:05,336 How many years have you been going to paint that stain off? 700 00:56:31,164 --> 00:56:32,461 He didn't even pay the bill? Of course not. What do you think? 701 00:56:32,564 --> 00:56:35,035 Um I'm, I'm just... Would you excuse me, please? I've just remembered I, I'm... 702 00:56:39,507 --> 00:56:41,703 What do you mean you want to see me? 703 00:56:41,809 --> 00:56:45,338 Jesus Christ, Gerry, what... How did you get in? 704 00:56:45,446 --> 00:56:48,883 One of the waiters is, is a, a friend of Russell's 705 00:56:48,981 --> 00:56:51,178 He got me a ticket. It's a great do, Helen 706 00:56:51,285 --> 00:56:53,447 I, I hear your company's really taken off... 707 00:56:53,554 --> 00:56:56,752 Gerry, you can't just turn up like this 708 00:56:56,857 --> 00:56:58,486 This is a really important nights for me 709 00:56:58,592 --> 00:57:00,184 Yes, I can, Helen 710 00:57:00,294 --> 00:57:04,393 I can 'just turn up'. It, it's the most important 'just turn up' I've ever done 711 00:57:04,999 --> 00:57:06,694 Oh God. We, we can't talk in here 712 00:57:14,109 --> 00:57:17,376 We've been through too much just to drop this. Haven't we? Surely 713 00:57:21,616 --> 00:57:22,708 Helen... 714 00:57:23,219 --> 00:57:24,813 ...please, look at me 715 00:57:27,791 --> 00:57:28,850 I'm sorry 716 00:57:31,227 --> 00:57:32,787 Really sorry 717 00:57:34,162 --> 00:57:36,326 You're too good not to fight for. The last... 718 00:57:36,433 --> 00:57:39,096 Oh God, Gerry, don't talk about fight. I... 719 00:57:45,842 --> 00:57:47,778 Good looking bloke 720 00:57:48,547 --> 00:57:49,980 Are you seeing him? Er... 721 00:57:50,081 --> 00:57:53,018 I, I'm sorry, it's not my place to ask 722 00:57:55,621 --> 00:57:57,052 Is that him? 723 00:57:57,153 --> 00:57:58,555 Guess so 724 00:57:59,523 --> 00:58:00,890 Does she know about Claudia? 725 00:58:00,992 --> 00:58:01,982 No 726 00:58:02,827 --> 00:58:04,352 I really like her, Clive 727 00:58:05,264 --> 00:58:07,426 I'm confused. I feel a bit lost suddenly 728 00:58:08,933 --> 00:58:11,530 Gerry, I really have to go back inside 729 00:58:11,637 --> 00:58:13,128 Will you come and see me, Helen? 730 00:58:15,105 --> 00:58:18,977 Please, Helen, there's so much more I want to say. I miss you 731 00:58:21,279 --> 00:58:23,011 Will you come and see me? 732 00:58:25,484 --> 00:58:26,712 Please, Helen 733 00:58:27,754 --> 00:58:28,515 I'll go. 734 00:58:31,058 --> 00:58:32,457 Thanks for listening. I... 735 00:58:33,626 --> 00:58:34,785 ...I'm really proud of you 736 00:58:58,887 --> 00:59:00,684 Are you okay? 737 00:59:00,788 --> 00:59:03,520 Yes. Just a bit dizzy 738 00:59:03,625 --> 00:59:05,114 Too much champagne 739 00:59:17,171 --> 00:59:18,298 Oh, sorry 740 00:59:25,081 --> 00:59:26,778 Bye now 741 00:59:27,450 --> 00:59:29,681 Hey... It's official... I love you 742 00:59:31,255 --> 00:59:33,781 Thank you. You're... you're a genius. I'm ecstatic 743 00:59:34,755 --> 00:59:36,384 Have you, er, have you seen James? 744 00:59:37,126 --> 00:59:40,723 Yeah. Yeah, he had to go... early start. He apologised 745 01:00:00,684 --> 01:00:04,213 Business trip... Newcastle or something. I didn't want to pry 746 01:00:04,956 --> 01:00:06,950 His secretary wasn't very forthcoming 747 01:00:07,724 --> 01:00:08,851 D'you believe he's away? 748 01:00:08,959 --> 01:00:10,121 Don't know 749 01:00:10,228 --> 01:00:11,593 Or do you think he's just avoiding you? 750 01:00:11,697 --> 01:00:12,357 I don't know 751 01:00:12,463 --> 01:00:13,395 Did you leave a message? 752 01:00:13,498 --> 01:00:14,123 No 753 01:00:14,232 --> 01:00:17,601 D'you think maybe you should have? Did he actually see Gerry kiss you? 754 01:00:17,703 --> 01:00:18,863 I don't know 755 01:00:18,971 --> 01:00:21,303 D'you think he might be hoping you've called and not known that you have? 756 01:00:21,407 --> 01:00:22,999 I mean... did you not check if he has a mobile? 757 01:00:23,108 --> 01:00:25,599 Anna! Ease up, will you? Bloody hell! 758 01:00:26,411 --> 01:00:29,211 They have less questions than this on 'Jeopardy' 759 01:00:29,316 --> 01:00:32,809 I was nervous. I wanted to get off the phone. I felt awkward 760 01:00:33,652 --> 01:00:36,417 Well, it's such a piddly little thing. It's hardly worth him getting up tight about 761 01:00:36,521 --> 01:00:38,889 Oh, Gerry called by the way 762 01:00:39,426 --> 01:00:42,624 Terrific. That's just... 763 01:00:43,329 --> 01:00:45,891 Two months ago I want Gerry to come round, James comes round 764 01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,228 Now I want James to call, Gerry calls 765 01:00:59,011 --> 01:01:01,538 It was the weirdest dream. You were there 766 01:01:02,215 --> 01:01:05,846 And you had a funny mask over your face... 767 01:01:05,953 --> 01:01:09,789 ...and you had something that you needed to tell me but you couldn't say it 768 01:01:10,358 --> 01:01:13,761 Well that does it, I'm afraid. I'm, er, taking away your class one drugs for a week 769 01:01:15,463 --> 01:01:20,095 Anyway... um... there's something else I wanted to tell you 770 01:01:22,903 --> 01:01:24,804 I fainted at work the other night 771 01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:28,137 Oh, sweetheart. Are you okay? 772 01:01:28,243 --> 01:01:32,545 Yes, but I don't normally faint so I, um... 773 01:01:34,816 --> 01:01:36,580 What was that? 774 01:01:37,186 --> 01:01:40,179 I don't know. The people next door are plainly engaged in some bizarre sexual ritual 775 01:01:40,288 --> 01:01:43,455 I may pop in later and introduce myself 776 01:01:44,493 --> 01:01:46,086 What were you saying? 777 01:01:46,194 --> 01:01:47,686 Anyway... 778 01:01:47,798 --> 01:01:51,064 ...I don't normally faint so I was a little curious... 779 01:01:56,941 --> 01:01:58,203 Oh shit... 780 01:01:58,676 --> 01:02:02,076 ...I stubbed my foot on the side of the shagging bath 781 01:02:02,779 --> 01:02:04,544 God, sounds horrific 782 01:02:04,648 --> 01:02:05,842 I know 783 01:02:06,983 --> 01:02:08,212 Ssshhh! Anyway... 784 01:02:11,823 --> 01:02:13,619 Listen, there, there's the landlady. 785 01:02:13,725 --> 01:02:14,749 She keeps coming up with these, er... corned beef sandwiches 786 01:02:14,859 --> 01:02:18,125 Look I, I'll phone you back when, er, world war twelve has stopped for tea. Okay 787 01:02:18,229 --> 01:02:19,630 Okay, bye 788 01:02:22,300 --> 01:02:25,064 So I did a test and it turns out that I'm pregnant 789 01:02:27,505 --> 01:02:29,337 I just though you might like to know 790 01:02:32,378 --> 01:02:35,280 Have you gone completely insane? 791 01:02:35,380 --> 01:02:36,541 What are you trying to do? 792 01:02:36,648 --> 01:02:39,551 What do you mean 'what am I trying to do'? I think I've broke my toe 793 01:02:39,652 --> 01:02:44,318 Lydia, I'm on the pissing phone to Helen, for goodness sake 794 01:02:45,391 --> 01:02:48,054 In case you've forgotten, she doesn't know you're here 795 01:02:48,561 --> 01:02:51,759 She thinks I'm on a research trip... along. Remember? 796 01:02:52,399 --> 01:02:53,696 I remeber 797 01:02:54,700 --> 01:02:57,068 Don't worry, I remeber. It's pretty hard to forget 798 01:02:57,170 --> 01:02:59,105 So what are you trying to do? Huh?! 799 01:02:59,638 --> 01:03:03,805 Coming in here... screeching the place down when I'm on the phone 800 01:03:05,010 --> 01:03:06,638 Don't you know, Gerry? 801 01:03:07,782 --> 01:03:10,582 Don't you know what I am trying to do?! 802 01:03:11,953 --> 01:03:15,083 I am trying to be your girlfriend, Gerry 803 01:03:15,789 --> 01:03:17,952 I am trying to win you back! 804 01:03:18,059 --> 01:03:23,019 It's fairly simple. I am standing on the platform at Limbo Central... 805 01:03:23,130 --> 01:03:26,364 ...with my heart and soul packed in my suitcase... 806 01:03:26,468 --> 01:03:30,963 ...waiting for the Gerry fucking Express to roll in... 807 01:03:31,073 --> 01:03:34,773 ...and tell me that my ticket is still valid, that I may reboard the train 808 01:03:35,878 --> 01:03:41,843 Only the station announcer keeps coming on and telling me that my train has been delayed 809 01:03:41,950 --> 01:03:47,288 ...as the driver has suffered a major panic attack in Indecision City! 810 01:03:47,390 --> 01:03:50,360 "We suggest you take the bus!" 811 01:03:50,926 --> 01:03:53,898 That's what I am trying to do, you cripple! 812 01:04:02,138 --> 01:04:07,875 Except it's quite clear... 813 01:04:09,212 --> 01:04:11,909 ...that that is never going to happen 814 01:04:13,516 --> 01:04:14,950 Is it? 815 01:04:16,619 --> 01:04:18,350 No reply 816 01:04:20,257 --> 01:04:21,247 Perfect 817 01:04:22,661 --> 01:04:26,153 So I... I'm not waiting any more, Gerry 818 01:04:27,531 --> 01:04:31,994 I am cashing my ticket in. I am taking that bus 819 01:04:32,871 --> 01:04:34,168 Oh God... 820 01:04:34,673 --> 01:04:38,167 I tell all my friends "never go back" 821 01:04:39,412 --> 01:04:41,312 Look at me, I must be crazy 822 01:04:42,547 --> 01:04:44,345 Don't phone me for a while 823 01:04:48,421 --> 01:04:52,052 Ow! Oh! No... don't phone me at all! 824 01:04:52,158 --> 01:04:53,182 Ever! 825 01:04:54,594 --> 01:04:56,153 It's over! 826 01:04:57,564 --> 01:04:59,327 Again! 827 01:05:01,435 --> 01:05:04,404 I've done it, Russell. I've bloody done it! 828 01:05:04,938 --> 01:05:06,929 EXcellent. Congratulations. Done what? 829 01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:08,303 I've finished it 830 01:05:08,408 --> 01:05:10,809 Oh, the book... Oh well, great, mate, that's great 831 01:05:11,377 --> 01:05:13,348 Not the book, not the book, Russell 832 01:05:13,447 --> 01:05:15,440 I'm a novelist, I'm never gonna finish the book... 833 01:05:15,549 --> 01:05:17,381 The affair! 834 01:05:17,484 --> 01:05:19,420 The affair! The sordid affair with Lydia 835 01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:21,489 I've blown her out... in Dorset 836 01:05:21,589 --> 01:05:23,921 I was decisive but fair 837 01:05:24,025 --> 01:05:25,549 I've just got back 838 01:05:25,659 --> 01:05:28,357 Oh God, I feel like I've got out of jail 839 01:05:28,463 --> 01:05:32,422 No more deceit, no more I ying to Helen. It was such a mistake 840 01:05:32,531 --> 01:05:35,561 "Never go back", Russell. But it's over 841 01:05:35,869 --> 01:05:39,170 God, I can't tell you it's such a good feeling 842 01:05:40,407 --> 01:05:43,846 Well, I'm, I'm very pleased. How does she feel about it, Lydia? 843 01:05:44,580 --> 01:05:48,109 Well, you know, she's not jumping through hoops obviously, I mean... 844 01:05:48,218 --> 01:05:51,585 ...but, but it's the best thing by far. By far and away the best thing 845 01:05:51,687 --> 01:05:53,987 I mean she, she knows that. I mean, she will do when she... 846 01:05:55,090 --> 01:05:59,120 well, she was upsel I mean bit farught, you know... obviously 847 01:05:59,228 --> 01:06:01,128 Oh God, oh God, oh God, I feel good 848 01:06:01,228 --> 01:06:04,463 I've got to go home. I wanna be home before Helen comes back from work 849 01:06:09,004 --> 01:06:09,836 Er, no 850 01:06:10,975 --> 01:06:12,909 Because you never buy me flowers when you're meant to... 851 01:06:13,008 --> 01:06:14,873 ...let alone when you're not meant to 852 01:06:14,979 --> 01:06:16,344 So, yes, I'm a little suspicious 853 01:06:16,446 --> 01:06:18,608 I want to know what else you've been doing that you're not meant to 854 01:06:18,715 --> 01:06:20,115 Wait, hang on 855 01:06:20,217 --> 01:06:23,675 Let me get this straight 'cause this is just about brilliant 856 01:06:23,786 --> 01:06:25,916 I buy you flowers on a whim in a... 857 01:06:26,023 --> 01:06:30,827 in a, in a fit of, of, of, um, of romance but... 858 01:06:31,395 --> 01:06:33,058 See... you couldn't even think of the word 859 01:06:33,165 --> 01:06:36,191 But instead of being, of being grateful, instead of being 'romanced'... 860 01:06:36,300 --> 01:06:41,569 ...you're instantly convinced that I'm ensconced in some decrepit tacky, 861 01:06:41,670 --> 01:06:44,303 underhand clandestine affair! 862 01:06:44,977 --> 01:06:46,307 In a nutshell 863 01:06:57,657 --> 01:06:58,850 Gerry? 864 01:07:02,161 --> 01:07:03,526 Are you back? 865 01:07:05,198 --> 01:07:07,190 I missed you so I came home early to see you 866 01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:08,768 God 867 01:07:11,837 --> 01:07:13,135 What are they? 868 01:07:14,107 --> 01:07:15,598 Well they're flowers 869 01:07:16,409 --> 01:07:17,639 For you. Um... 870 01:07:19,011 --> 01:07:20,309 ...d'you not like them? 871 01:07:21,881 --> 01:07:25,615 That image of her sitting on top of you, oh God, I... 872 01:07:26,185 --> 01:07:28,211 ...I, I really don't know why I agreed to come 873 01:07:28,321 --> 01:07:31,021 Please stop, Gerry, don't, I, I don't want you to touch me 874 01:07:31,625 --> 01:07:33,390 I'm, I'm sorry. Um, um, don't go 875 01:07:34,095 --> 01:07:37,793 Please try and... put her out of your mind 876 01:07:38,966 --> 01:07:40,936 She's, she's out of mine 877 01:07:41,035 --> 01:07:43,094 It's finished... over 878 01:07:43,204 --> 01:07:45,229 I made a mistake. Such a big... big mistake and I'm sorry 879 01:07:45,339 --> 01:07:47,435 I'm truly, truly sorry 880 01:07:50,345 --> 01:07:53,145 I mean this new bloke, this James Hammerton that you're seeing... 881 01:07:53,249 --> 01:07:55,548 ...does he not make mistakes? 882 01:07:55,650 --> 01:07:57,448 How do y ouknow his name? 883 01:07:57,552 --> 01:08:00,284 A mate of Russell's works at the restaurant 884 01:08:00,389 --> 01:08:04,418 They're... mutual friends. I... I mean, it's not especially important 885 01:08:04,527 --> 01:08:07,861 Well I don't want to talk about James Hammerton or anyone else. I have to go 886 01:08:08,998 --> 01:08:10,590 Oh, by the, by the way I've, er... 887 01:08:12,436 --> 01:08:13,926 ...I've stopped writing the book 888 01:08:16,572 --> 01:08:21,535 Helen... the truth is I can't write without you 889 01:08:22,180 --> 01:08:23,941 I can't do anything without you 890 01:08:26,582 --> 01:08:28,415 I want you to come back to me, Helen 891 01:08:31,521 --> 01:08:33,250 We were so good together 892 01:08:34,723 --> 01:08:36,750 Remeber, remember how good we are together? 893 01:08:40,730 --> 01:08:42,427 Sorry... Just wait 894 01:08:46,303 --> 01:08:46,736 Yeah? 895 01:08:46,839 --> 01:08:49,740 I'm late, Gerry... Four days. I'm never late 896 01:08:50,374 --> 01:08:53,275 Oh, Russell. Er, look, hi 897 01:08:53,377 --> 01:08:55,210 Er, look, mate. Look, er, can I ring you back in a few minutes, yeah? 898 01:08:55,314 --> 01:08:58,045 Yeah... Yeah, okay. Okay. Thanks, mate, cheers. Bye 899 01:08:59,051 --> 01:09:00,245 It's, er... Russell 900 01:09:01,919 --> 01:09:04,218 I'm, I'm dying for the loo 901 01:09:22,610 --> 01:09:26,638 Telephone number 01714443184 902 01:09:26,745 --> 01:09:28,806 To return the call press three 903 01:09:33,855 --> 01:09:36,222 Why are you pretending I'm Russell? You know I hate that 904 01:09:36,791 --> 01:09:38,656 What's going on? 905 01:09:39,659 --> 01:09:41,993 Gerry, answer me. Who's there? 906 01:09:42,096 --> 01:09:44,565 It's Helen actually. We met once 907 01:09:44,664 --> 01:09:46,964 I interrupted you faking your orgasm 908 01:09:47,068 --> 01:09:49,059 Sorry I can't be more specific 909 01:09:52,773 --> 01:09:54,365 You know what I was thinking? 910 01:09:55,608 --> 01:09:57,133 You're not going, are you? 911 01:09:57,578 --> 01:10:02,348 You wanker. You sad, sad wonker 912 01:10:04,520 --> 01:10:07,081 God, I feel like such a mug! 913 01:10:07,189 --> 01:10:09,590 The useless, no good... 914 01:10:09,692 --> 01:10:12,684 ...shagging, horrible, despicable, I ying... 915 01:10:12,795 --> 01:10:15,389 ...two-faced pissing, shagging... 916 01:10:15,497 --> 01:10:16,193 You said shagging 917 01:10:20,972 --> 01:10:22,336 You know the worst bit? 918 01:10:23,473 --> 01:10:25,374 All I could think about was James 919 01:10:25,475 --> 01:10:28,740 I felt like I was being unfaithful to James just by being there 920 01:10:29,881 --> 01:10:31,941 That sounds like the best bit. And you were 921 01:10:32,049 --> 01:10:33,847 He didn't call, did he? 922 01:10:36,187 --> 01:10:37,778 That's nearly a week 923 01:10:39,690 --> 01:10:41,249 I think I've blown it. I've blown it, haven't I? 924 01:10:42,659 --> 01:10:44,594 I blame British Telecom. All this new technology 925 01:10:47,164 --> 01:10:50,431 This number if you want to know who called... 926 01:10:50,535 --> 01:10:54,439 ...another one if you don't want them to know you called... 927 01:10:54,538 --> 01:10:58,031 ...itemised bills, take away the first number you thought of 928 01:10:58,142 --> 01:11:01,774 I mean they are single-handedly condemning the average red-blooded Englishman... 929 01:11:01,879 --> 01:11:03,643 ...to a life of terminal monogamy 930 01:11:03,748 --> 01:11:05,910 What are they after? The Nobel Peace Prize? 931 01:11:06,717 --> 01:11:08,118 And Lydia might be pregnant 932 01:11:14,727 --> 01:11:17,755 Oh no more, please... I can't take it 933 01:11:19,431 --> 01:11:21,400 Oh this is terrific stuff 934 01:11:21,835 --> 01:11:24,531 I must say, being with you makes the wait for the next episode of 935 01:11:24,636 --> 01:11:26,799 'Seinfeld' much easier to bear 936 01:11:26,906 --> 01:11:29,535 I didn't reckon on things turning out this way 937 01:11:29,643 --> 01:11:33,375 Everything's a cock up. What's going on? 938 01:11:34,013 --> 01:11:36,950 Well... to use boxing parlance, if I may... it's quite simple 939 01:11:37,717 --> 01:11:39,879 You've just lost 940 01:11:41,555 --> 01:11:43,455 Are you sure? You've been a bit... 941 01:11:44,190 --> 01:11:46,854 ...I don't know, a bit distant since I've got back 942 01:11:46,961 --> 01:11:48,429 I know 943 01:11:49,262 --> 01:11:50,560 Well, okay... there are a couple of things. 944 01:11:50,664 --> 01:11:52,692 Which one do you want to hear first? 945 01:11:53,401 --> 01:11:54,766 I don't mind 946 01:11:54,969 --> 01:11:58,739 Well the 'small'thing is that I've got an interview for a job 947 01:11:58,841 --> 01:12:00,467 A PR job, a proper one 948 01:12:02,376 --> 01:12:04,539 International company opening up in London 949 01:12:05,246 --> 01:12:09,581 Chairwoman herself called, said she had heard a lot about me and... 950 01:12:09,684 --> 01:12:12,780 she's invited me to her apartment tomorrow evening for a serious chat 951 01:12:14,624 --> 01:12:15,920 Jesus Christ! 952 01:12:17,926 --> 01:12:18,723 What? 953 01:12:18,827 --> 01:12:24,825 Jesus Christ, I mean that's... that's not a small thing, that's... that's huge 954 01:12:24,934 --> 01:12:28,235 I mean it's... I mean it's... it's brilliant. I mean that's the best 955 01:12:28,336 --> 01:12:29,965 Is the blind buggered again? 956 01:12:30,074 --> 01:12:31,769 No. Er... no 957 01:12:31,874 --> 01:12:33,343 Well, I... 958 01:12:41,452 --> 01:12:42,477 Are you all right? 959 01:12:42,585 --> 01:12:46,991 Yeah, no, I'm fine, darling. My sweetheart, that's great, it's tremendous 960 01:12:47,090 --> 01:12:48,525 I'm thrilled. I'm so thrill... 961 01:12:49,493 --> 01:12:50,255 Hello? 962 01:12:50,360 --> 01:12:51,987 I really need to talk to you 963 01:12:53,331 --> 01:12:54,424 Hi, Russ. How are you? 964 01:12:54,533 --> 01:12:58,469 Come by my apartment tomorrow night at eight. It's important 965 01:12:59,303 --> 01:13:02,762 Ah, really, mate. No, what a drag 966 01:13:02,874 --> 01:13:04,172 Oh no, yeah. Okay, yeah, sure. Sure, sure, yeah 967 01:13:04,275 --> 01:13:06,438 Yeah, yeah, I'll help you 968 01:13:06,544 --> 01:13:08,011 Yeah, yeah, cheers, mate. Cheers. Bye 969 01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:11,345 It's Russell's family is descending unannounced 970 01:13:11,649 --> 01:13:13,641 Yeah, he wants me to, er, go round tomorrow evening and, 971 01:13:13,752 --> 01:13:16,953 er... help him clear out, er, his spare room 972 01:13:18,956 --> 01:13:20,619 Er, right. Okay. So... 973 01:13:26,265 --> 01:13:28,532 Sorry, what was the other thing you wanted to tell me? 974 01:13:30,337 --> 01:13:32,169 Doesn't matter. It's not important 975 01:13:59,733 --> 01:14:01,258 Hammerton Enterprises 976 01:14:07,408 --> 01:14:08,774 Rachael, I'm going out to the shops 977 01:14:09,243 --> 01:14:10,939 Can I get you anything? No thanks 978 01:14:12,615 --> 01:14:13,946 Are you okay? 979 01:14:14,049 --> 01:14:15,848 Yes 980 01:14:16,884 --> 01:14:19,080 Yes. Yes, I'm fine 981 01:14:19,689 --> 01:14:22,681 I just... you know, I go to the shops, just I'll be, um... 982 01:14:58,729 --> 01:14:59,958 Sorry 983 01:15:02,899 --> 01:15:04,527 Hello! Hi. Hi Hi 984 01:15:06,571 --> 01:15:07,935 How... how are you? 985 01:15:08,038 --> 01:15:10,165 I'm... I'm great 986 01:15:10,274 --> 01:15:11,743 Er, how are you? 987 01:15:11,844 --> 01:15:14,210 Sorry, you're great 988 01:15:18,518 --> 01:15:19,414 Business lunch? 989 01:15:19,517 --> 01:15:21,508 Yeah, just a chat, you know 990 01:15:22,287 --> 01:15:23,754 Well my office is just round the corner 991 01:15:23,854 --> 01:15:28,258 I know. Um... I, I, I thought you were away on business 992 01:15:28,359 --> 01:15:31,762 Yeah, I was. I just, I, um, got back last night as a matter of, er 993 01:15:34,933 --> 01:15:37,734 Helen, look, please don't think that I, that I... 994 01:15:38,471 --> 01:15:40,963 Ah... it's okay, I... I haven't thought 995 01:15:41,074 --> 01:15:43,405 I mean I, I, I didn't think that or not 996 01:15:43,975 --> 01:15:47,209 No, I mean... don't think that I have not called you 997 01:15:47,312 --> 01:15:49,304 I haven't 'not' called you 998 01:15:49,415 --> 01:15:51,317 I mean, I don't... I don't mean I haven't 'not' called you 999 01:15:51,419 --> 01:15:53,581 because that's a double negative... 1000 01:15:53,686 --> 01:15:55,212 ...so as to say that I 'have' called you 1001 01:15:55,322 --> 01:15:56,517 When did you call? 1002 01:15:56,624 --> 01:15:58,419 Er, well I, I didn't 1003 01:15:59,191 --> 01:16:04,257 But I... I didn't 'not' call you in the way that you might think I didn't call you 1004 01:16:04,364 --> 01:16:06,356 Oh dear 1005 01:16:08,369 --> 01:16:10,861 I wanted to call you 1006 01:16:10,971 --> 01:16:13,567 I even did that dial all but the last number thing and then not, er... 1007 01:16:15,109 --> 01:16:16,941 It's... ridiculous behaviour 1008 01:16:17,045 --> 01:16:18,604 Totally 1009 01:16:19,881 --> 01:16:23,113 You see, I... I thought you still had to deal with, with your other, er... 1010 01:16:24,353 --> 01:16:25,685 Gerry?! 1011 01:16:25,788 --> 01:16:27,779 Well I don't know, is that... yeah, if... 1012 01:16:27,889 --> 01:16:30,017 And I thought it was best if I allowed youto... 1013 01:16:30,124 --> 01:16:32,559 Gerry is why you haven't called me? 1014 01:16:32,694 --> 01:16:36,724 Well, after Clive's party I didn't want to just presume that you'd, that we had 1015 01:16:36,832 --> 01:16:40,065 You think I just go to bed with all successful oarsmen that I come across? 1016 01:16:42,739 --> 01:16:44,401 Sorry, nervous humour 1017 01:16:45,341 --> 01:16:46,742 Well I hoped not 1018 01:16:50,579 --> 01:16:51,979 Sorry, excuse me 1019 01:16:53,551 --> 01:16:54,540 Hello? 1020 01:16:56,886 --> 01:16:58,252 Oh, I see. I'll, um... 1021 01:17:00,591 --> 01:17:03,219 ...I'll come straight away. Okay, thanks 1022 01:17:04,527 --> 01:17:07,054 My... mum had to go into hospital 1023 01:17:07,163 --> 01:17:09,724 She's had some tests done. The results are through. I should, er, go 1024 01:17:11,502 --> 01:17:13,162 Do you want me to come with you? 1025 01:17:16,374 --> 01:17:18,433 Yeah, that's really nice of you 1026 01:17:21,245 --> 01:17:22,213 Er... well maybe, um... 1027 01:17:23,248 --> 01:17:25,842 I don't... she's quite frail and I, and I don't know how she's gonna... 1028 01:17:25,950 --> 01:17:27,249 It's okay 1029 01:17:28,286 --> 01:17:29,719 but, um... thanks 1030 01:17:33,224 --> 01:17:35,626 I'm, er, well some friends are having dinner at Clive's tonight... 1031 01:17:35,727 --> 01:17:39,095 ...if you're, if you're not doing anything, you want to come along 1032 01:17:41,768 --> 01:17:43,134 Well some other time 1033 01:17:43,236 --> 01:17:45,137 I'd love to if that's okay 1034 01:17:46,306 --> 01:17:51,872 Yeah, yeah. Of course, crikey, it's, it's, it's very, very okay, yeah 1035 01:17:53,846 --> 01:17:57,248 But well, at the risk of sounding old-fashioned, I'll pick you up at eight 1036 01:17:57,350 --> 01:18:00,150 Is that a 'will' pick me up, or a 'haven't, not, didn't, might'? 1037 01:18:02,857 --> 01:18:05,690 Listen... don't worry about your mum. She'll be okay 1038 01:18:06,627 --> 01:18:08,619 Remember Monty Python 1039 01:18:10,830 --> 01:18:12,298 Well I'll see you later 1040 01:18:15,435 --> 01:18:16,733 Bye 1041 01:18:28,583 --> 01:18:30,552 How are you? Yeah, just... you know... 1042 01:18:34,789 --> 01:18:36,622 Is Gerry excited about being a daddy? 1043 01:18:36,724 --> 01:18:38,556 I haven't told him yet 1044 01:18:38,661 --> 01:18:41,893 Never seems to be the right moment somehow 1045 01:18:43,066 --> 01:18:45,295 Come on... let's celebrate with a proper drink 1046 01:18:46,136 --> 01:18:47,729 Bloody marvellous idea 1047 01:18:49,572 --> 01:18:52,941 I really shouldn't in my condition but I'm really going to 1048 01:18:53,042 --> 01:18:54,477 What have you got? 1049 01:18:55,444 --> 01:18:57,275 Um... brandy 1050 01:18:57,379 --> 01:18:59,348 Oh, no, yuk. Makes me vomit 1051 01:20:18,333 --> 01:20:19,767 Half day? 1052 01:20:25,540 --> 01:20:27,202 James?! 1053 01:20:29,912 --> 01:20:31,378 Since last night? 1054 01:20:34,149 --> 01:20:35,548 Sorry 1055 01:20:37,086 --> 01:20:38,347 You can't tell from one 1056 01:20:39,321 --> 01:20:40,687 They can be inaccurate 1057 01:20:41,591 --> 01:20:43,023 I bought three packets 1058 01:20:43,625 --> 01:20:45,459 Two in a packet, that's six 1059 01:20:46,194 --> 01:20:47,891 You can tell from six 1060 01:20:49,630 --> 01:20:50,894 What are you gonna do? 1061 01:20:58,039 --> 01:20:59,703 Is James Hammerton in? 1062 01:20:59,809 --> 01:21:01,369 I'm afraid not 1063 01:21:01,477 --> 01:21:03,139 Um, do you know when he's due back? 1064 01:21:03,247 --> 01:21:06,581 I'm not sure. He's gone to visit his mother in hospital with his wife 1065 01:21:06,881 --> 01:21:08,943 Would you like to leave a message? 1066 01:21:10,821 --> 01:21:12,255 What? 1067 01:21:12,357 --> 01:21:14,416 Can I take a name and number? Get him to call you 1068 01:21:18,962 --> 01:21:20,258 Um... no, thank you 1069 01:22:07,279 --> 01:22:08,871 There's something I want you to know 1070 01:22:11,384 --> 01:22:13,980 Anna doesn't drink Brandy, Gerry, it makes her vomit 1071 01:22:17,358 --> 01:22:19,485 and those glasses were not used at the party 1072 01:22:19,593 --> 01:22:21,857 They only come out for special dinners, you know that 1073 01:22:24,499 --> 01:22:27,059 Am I meant to immediately get the reference here? 1074 01:22:27,899 --> 01:22:29,768 Are you having an affair? 1075 01:22:31,072 --> 01:22:33,064 Just tell me yes or no 1076 01:22:36,912 --> 01:22:39,381 No, I'm not 1077 01:22:48,824 --> 01:22:51,420 Helen, look into my eyes 1078 01:22:52,259 --> 01:22:54,992 I am not having an affair 1079 01:22:57,534 --> 01:22:58,761 I'm not 1080 01:23:03,840 --> 01:23:06,469 Well, I shouldn't have brought this up now, I've got to go to my interview 1081 01:23:08,911 --> 01:23:10,345 We'll talk later 1082 01:23:12,382 --> 01:23:14,543 Are you going to be here when I get back? 1083 01:23:14,650 --> 01:23:16,846 Yes. Of course 1084 01:23:20,590 --> 01:23:22,457 Helen... listen 1085 01:23:24,028 --> 01:23:25,620 Good luck, okay 1086 01:23:35,839 --> 01:23:36,601 Hello 1087 01:23:36,708 --> 01:23:38,733 Hi, Anna, is Helen there? 1088 01:23:38,842 --> 01:23:40,605 You've got a damned nerve phoning here 1089 01:23:41,246 --> 01:23:42,679 What? 1090 01:23:46,918 --> 01:23:50,116 Anna, please, just open the door. I don't know what's going on 1091 01:23:51,122 --> 01:23:52,350 You dono't know what's going on? 1092 01:23:52,455 --> 01:23:56,362 I'll tell you then. She saw you, James, at the hospital. With your wife 1093 01:23:56,463 --> 01:23:58,259 You know, the one with the wedding ring 1094 01:23:58,363 --> 01:23:59,353 What is it with you bloody men? We're not just here... 1095 01:23:59,465 --> 01:24:01,695 Anna, let me see her. I can... She's not here 1096 01:24:01,801 --> 01:24:03,290 Where is she? 1097 01:24:03,402 --> 01:24:04,768 What's it to you? I don't know 1098 01:24:05,938 --> 01:24:07,736 Oh shit, shit. Bollocks 1099 01:24:08,475 --> 01:24:10,102 Oh God. You idiot! 1100 01:24:30,497 --> 01:24:31,987 Clive, you seen Helen? 1101 01:24:32,098 --> 01:24:33,896 No. Why? 1102 01:25:04,467 --> 01:25:05,627 Helen! 1103 01:25:08,504 --> 01:25:09,699 Helen! 1104 01:25:13,743 --> 01:25:16,679 Helen... Helen, you've made a mistake 1105 01:25:16,777 --> 01:25:18,974 Oh, I am such an idiot. Helen, look at me 1106 01:25:19,081 --> 01:25:20,050 Listen to me, please 1107 01:25:20,150 --> 01:25:24,611 No, you listen! I never want to see you again 1108 01:25:25,455 --> 01:25:28,290 I have been throught enough for one year 1109 01:25:28,958 --> 01:25:32,555 I stupidly believed that here was a man who was different from 'men ' 1110 01:25:32,663 --> 01:25:35,258 But it is clear that I made a mistake 1111 01:25:35,899 --> 01:25:39,667 Now please... do me a favour and go away! 1112 01:25:40,638 --> 01:25:43,436 I am married, Helen, but I am separated 1113 01:25:43,541 --> 01:25:45,874 Walk away if you want but take this with you 1114 01:25:45,976 --> 01:25:49,436 The woman you saw today was the woman I married three years ago 1115 01:25:49,547 --> 01:25:52,642 We separated six months ago and soon we'll be divorced 1116 01:25:54,419 --> 01:25:56,353 Nothing aggressive 1117 01:25:56,453 --> 01:25:58,116 I didn't tell you before because... 1118 01:25:59,757 --> 01:26:03,786 ...I don't know why, I... I have wanted to tell you so many times and 1119 01:26:05,064 --> 01:26:08,295 ...and now you've found out another way I wish I had told y ou 1120 01:26:10,235 --> 01:26:12,535 My mother is ill in hospital as you know... 1121 01:26:12,638 --> 01:26:16,236 ...and Claudia agreed to keep up the pretence that we were okay still for my mum 1122 01:26:17,542 --> 01:26:20,775 As a favour. She's a very decent woman 1123 01:26:23,517 --> 01:26:25,212 Do you have a mum, Helen? 1124 01:26:29,356 --> 01:26:30,652 Ten minutes, Lydia 1125 01:26:30,756 --> 01:26:33,248 And don't ever turn up at my kitchen window again like that 1126 01:26:34,295 --> 01:26:36,855 It's over. You know? You said it yourself 1127 01:26:36,963 --> 01:26:39,262 I know. Sorry, I wasn't thinking 1128 01:26:39,366 --> 01:26:41,062 I just want to show you something 1129 01:26:49,577 --> 01:26:50,544 Oh, Helen... 1130 01:26:51,546 --> 01:26:54,072 if we are not gonna be together then let's make sure it's for the right reason 1131 01:26:54,181 --> 01:26:56,948 And right now there is no reason, none 1132 01:26:57,052 --> 01:27:00,180 there is just confusion and it can be erased in a split second 1133 01:27:04,093 --> 01:27:05,458 Get that, would you? 1134 01:27:20,344 --> 01:27:22,174 Of course, if you don't want to keep it, darling... 1135 01:27:23,077 --> 01:27:24,443 Who is it? 1136 01:27:25,081 --> 01:27:27,607 Oh, hello again. You're right on time 1137 01:27:30,654 --> 01:27:32,486 Is this the truth, James? 1138 01:27:44,834 --> 01:27:46,894 Permission to engage the enemy, sir? 1139 01:27:53,144 --> 01:27:55,707 Thing is, I can't take the interview just now 1140 01:27:55,813 --> 01:27:59,182 I'm discussing whether or not I'm going to keep your boyfriend's baby 1141 01:28:02,486 --> 01:28:03,613 James... 1142 01:28:04,924 --> 01:28:06,653 ...there's something I have to tell you 1143 01:28:07,293 --> 01:28:09,660 I'm so sorry you had to hear it this way, Helen 1144 01:28:13,197 --> 01:28:15,962 Er, I really should just phone Anna and tell her I'm okay 1145 01:28:18,937 --> 01:28:20,269 Helen 1146 01:28:22,274 --> 01:28:23,742 I love you 1147 01:28:24,043 --> 01:28:25,510 Helen, wait, please. Wait! 1148 01:28:26,045 --> 01:28:27,034 Let me go! 1149 01:28:27,145 --> 01:28:28,409 Helen! Helen! 1150 01:29:26,208 --> 01:29:28,700 James... are you her husband? 1151 01:29:30,646 --> 01:29:32,877 Er... I will be. We're, we're getting married 1152 01:29:33,916 --> 01:29:35,510 If I could have a quick word? 1153 01:29:37,788 --> 01:29:40,723 Helen has suffered major internal injuries, James 1154 01:29:42,059 --> 01:29:44,619 Helen has lost her baby, I'm afraid, Gerry 1155 01:29:45,997 --> 01:29:48,023 I'm afraid she's lost her baby 1156 01:29:49,700 --> 01:29:51,429 You did know she was pregnant? 1157 01:29:52,937 --> 01:29:54,496 Did you know she was pregnant? 1158 01:29:58,976 --> 01:30:00,808 She will be okay though, won't she? 1159 01:30:01,979 --> 01:30:04,278 She is, she is going to wake up, isn't she, Doctor? 1160 01:30:56,104 --> 01:30:59,666 Helen, for some reason I know you can hear me 1161 01:31:03,778 --> 01:31:06,679 I'm glad we got things sorted out... tonight 1162 01:31:22,463 --> 01:31:25,195 I'm glad you caught the train that day 1163 01:31:41,183 --> 01:31:43,515 I am going to make you so happy 1164 01:31:47,557 --> 01:31:49,047 I promise 1165 01:32:00,070 --> 01:32:01,263 Helen? 1166 01:32:03,841 --> 01:32:05,399 Helen! 1167 01:32:08,780 --> 01:32:10,247 Helen! 1168 01:32:40,812 --> 01:32:42,338 Can you hear me? 1169 01:32:44,116 --> 01:32:45,914 Can you hear me, Helen? 1170 01:33:15,014 --> 01:33:16,779 I'm sorry I'm late Ah, no problem 1171 01:33:16,884 --> 01:33:19,981 I'm pleased to say your mother's showing some signs of improvement this morning 1172 01:33:20,089 --> 01:33:22,215 She's sitting up and she's had a full breakfast 1173 01:33:22,323 --> 01:33:23,586 That's great 1174 01:33:44,746 --> 01:33:46,238 Helen, I swear... 1175 01:33:52,789 --> 01:33:54,654 I'll do anything you want, Helen 1176 01:33:56,160 --> 01:33:57,456 Will you? 1177 01:33:59,930 --> 01:34:01,863 In that case, I want you to stand up... 1178 01:34:02,999 --> 01:34:04,697 ...walk over to the door... 1179 01:34:05,302 --> 01:34:07,533 ...open it... walk through it... 1180 01:34:08,439 --> 01:34:10,203 ...then close it behind you 1181 01:34:26,559 --> 01:34:27,719 Ta-ta, mum 1182 01:34:34,665 --> 01:34:36,396 Call us if you have any problems at all 1183 01:34:36,501 --> 01:34:37,367 Thank you 1184 01:34:37,468 --> 01:34:40,735 You're very fortunate, Helen. You had a lucky escape 1185 01:34:40,839 --> 01:34:42,705 Say that again 1186 01:34:44,008 --> 01:34:44,908 Thank you 1187 01:35:35,229 --> 01:35:36,697 Thank you 1188 01:35:36,798 --> 01:35:39,791 Cheer up. You know what the Monty Python boys say 1189 01:35:39,900 --> 01:35:42,096 "Nobody expects the spanish Inquisition"