1
00:03:34,990 --> 00:03:36,628
Well done, girls.
Excellent performance.

2
00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:39,138
You weren't even watching,
Clifford.

3
00:03:39,190 --> 00:03:41,704
- Yes, I was.
- No, you weren't.

4
00:03:41,750 --> 00:03:44,548
- I sensed the vibes.
- Yeah, right.

5
00:03:44,590 --> 00:03:48,344
- He doesn't love us any more.
- I love you like a wildebeeste

6
00:03:48,390 --> 00:03:52,383
loves five lionesses
chewing at his legs.

7
00:03:52,430 --> 00:03:55,024
Hello.
I'm Piers Cuthbertson Smythe.

8
00:03:55,070 --> 00:03:58,346
Today, I'm spending
the first of five days

9
00:03:58,390 --> 00:04:00,062
with the Spice Girls.

10
00:04:00,110 --> 00:04:01,748
- Elton!
- Elton!

11
00:04:01,790 --> 00:04:03,701
- Hey!
- Hello.

12
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:07,982
- Good to see ya.
- Hi there.

13
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:10,385
- Great glasses, Elton.
- Thank you.

14
00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:12,580
We've gotta go. Sorry, Elton.

15
00:04:16,230 --> 00:04:18,027
Soon, the Spice Girls

16
00:04:18,070 --> 00:04:20,265
will be stampeding
down this corridor

17
00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:24,940
in a frenzy of chaos and energy
which is their hallmark.

18
00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:26,901
Chickens? How many?

19
00:04:26,950 --> 00:04:29,987
Why are we going round the back?

20
00:04:30,030 --> 00:04:33,022
You said
they were coming this way.

21
00:04:33,070 --> 00:04:35,026
I never said that.

22
00:04:35,070 --> 00:04:38,699
- Want me to cut?
- That would be wise.

23
00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:42,982
There won't be any fans out
here. They're around the front.

24
00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:53,265
- Girls! It's Andy from the Sun!
- Not up the skirts.

25
00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:55,949
What was that, Clifford?

26
00:05:09,150 --> 00:05:10,344
Bye!

27
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:12,108
Come on. Come on.

28
00:05:12,150 --> 00:05:13,981
Hands off my fluffy toys.

29
00:05:14,030 --> 00:05:15,827
Nobody come in my bit.

30
00:05:15,870 --> 00:05:17,508
Don't touch my wardrobe.

31
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:20,986
Can you get changed?
We're there in 15 minutes.

32
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:22,463
Dennis, Albert Hall.

33
00:05:22,510 --> 00:05:25,900
Partner...
we're heavy and rolling.

34
00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:37,902
OK, horoscopes!

35
00:05:37,950 --> 00:05:39,508
I don't believe star signs.

36
00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:43,099
You're Aquarian. Aquarians
don't believe in anything.

37
00:05:43,150 --> 00:05:44,742
I don't believe that, either.

38
00:05:44,790 --> 00:05:48,260
Oh, no! I can't find my boots!

39
00:05:50,830 --> 00:05:54,743
It's always the same.
I never know what to wear.

40
00:05:54,790 --> 00:05:56,940
It must be hard to decide

41
00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:01,029
whether to wear the little Gucci
dress, the little Gucci dress,

42
00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:03,345
or...the little Gucci dress.

43
00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:04,743
Exactly.

44
00:06:04,790 --> 00:06:09,022
I know. Why don't you wear
the little Gucci dress?

45
00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:10,219
Thanks, Em.

46
00:06:15,390 --> 00:06:17,346
- There they are!
- What?

47
00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:22,908
- You're wearing my boots!
- How did that happen?

48
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:25,259
Typical Leo, borrowing stuff
without asking.

49
00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:29,667
- No, that's Capricorn.
- Don't start on Capricorns.

50
00:06:29,710 --> 00:06:31,063
That's it!

51
00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:33,908
- Have them back!
- I don't want 'em!

52
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,898
- Excuse me!
- What?

53
00:06:38,950 --> 00:06:42,067
- What do you think of this?
- It's great.

54
00:06:43,510 --> 00:06:46,308
A press conference's coming up.

55
00:06:46,350 --> 00:06:50,263
That means smiling
and answering dumb questions.

56
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:54,189
It really is exciting.
We're breaking the news now.

57
00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:56,744
Next Saturday, the Spice Girls

58
00:06:56,790 --> 00:06:59,907
perform live at the Albert Hall.

59
00:06:59,950 --> 00:07:02,862
- Are you excited?
- Very excited.

60
00:07:02,910 --> 00:07:04,582
It'll be fantastic.

61
00:07:04,630 --> 00:07:07,303
It's gonna be broadcast live
throughout the world.

62
00:07:07,350 --> 00:07:08,908
How many countries?

63
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,747
- Millions.
- Maybe more.

64
00:07:10,790 --> 00:07:13,179
Have you a message
for your fans?

65
00:07:13,230 --> 00:07:14,424
Yes.

66
00:07:16,390 --> 00:07:17,903
To the people in France.

67
00:07:20,910 --> 00:07:22,787
They're huge in Portugal.

68
00:07:22,830 --> 00:07:25,788
And to the people in Leeds:
"Northerners!"

69
00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:29,743
I don't know what that means,
but it's gonna be great.

70
00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:31,508
They are adorable.

71
00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:36,021
- You haven't shaved for us.
- Well, I...

72
00:07:36,070 --> 00:07:38,664
- I've got what you want.
- Watch this!

73
00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:40,507
These are the Spice Girls.

74
00:07:40,550 --> 00:07:43,348
I've seen them.
I like the blonde one.

75
00:07:43,390 --> 00:07:45,950
- No, Sporty.
- Yeah, sporty one's good.

76
00:07:45,990 --> 00:07:48,663
This is what our movie
should be about.

77
00:07:48,710 --> 00:07:50,826
They're cute.
They're hip, they're wacky.

78
00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:52,269
But can they act?

79
00:07:52,310 --> 00:07:55,382
Did anyone care
if Marilyn Monroe could act?

80
00:07:55,430 --> 00:07:57,227
All they cared,
was she in focus?

81
00:07:57,270 --> 00:08:00,819
I've got an idea.
You're gonna love it.

82
00:08:00,870 --> 00:08:03,862
It's the Spice Girls.

83
00:08:03,910 --> 00:08:07,300
There's five of them,
and they're singers...

84
00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:09,989
I love it.
We pitch this afternoon.

85
00:08:14,270 --> 00:08:15,259
Yes, Chief.

86
00:08:15,310 --> 00:08:18,382
Are the girls ready
for Saturday?

87
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:22,742
They've got fire in their eyes,
hunger in their bellies

88
00:08:22,790 --> 00:08:24,428
and great big shoes
on their feet.

89
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:27,268
They're raring to go.

90
00:08:27,310 --> 00:08:30,746
Remember that now
is the dangerous time.

91
00:08:30,790 --> 00:08:33,179
They've had success
very quickly,

92
00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:35,698
so get ready for the backlash.

93
00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:38,981
When the speeding melon
hits the wall...

94
00:08:39,030 --> 00:08:42,466
it's Christmas for the crows.

95
00:08:42,510 --> 00:08:45,786
Shall I go after the paparazzi?

96
00:08:45,830 --> 00:08:49,186
'I could start kicking
arses, stir things up.'

97
00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:51,186
There's no need
for any stirring.

98
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:53,300
Put cats among the pigeons.

99
00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:56,422
Leave the pigeons alone.

100
00:08:56,470 --> 00:09:00,986
Watch the feathers fly,
get some blood on the walls.

101
00:09:01,030 --> 00:09:04,227
- No!
- Sorry, Chief, just an idea.

102
00:09:04,270 --> 00:09:07,819
There'll be time
for that soon enough.

103
00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:11,829
The drummer who is
without sticks has no backbeat.

104
00:09:11,870 --> 00:09:13,542
Absolutely.

105
00:09:14,590 --> 00:09:16,103
Right, Puss?

106
00:09:16,150 --> 00:09:19,108
- What did he say?
- I haven't a clue...

107
00:09:19,150 --> 00:09:21,948
but I know that he's right.

108
00:09:21,990 --> 00:09:24,709
Drummer? Drummer.

109
00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:58,579
Remember, the camera is
the window to the soul.

110
00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:00,382
- Window to the soul.
- That's it.

111
00:10:00,430 --> 00:10:02,102
Through the eyes, obviously.

112
00:10:02,150 --> 00:10:05,779
I wanna take my audience
into their mind's eye,

113
00:10:05,830 --> 00:10:08,264
and focus on their
deepest subconscious.

114
00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:09,789
Deepest subconscious.

115
00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:12,503
That's it, Enzo. Got it? Great.

116
00:10:12,550 --> 00:10:16,259
So track, track, track,
track, and then...

117
00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:18,585
We'll need a longer lens.

118
00:10:21,190 --> 00:10:22,589
What's going on?

119
00:10:23,310 --> 00:10:24,823
Sorry. My fault.

120
00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:27,907
- Sort your fingers out!
- Left your boxing gloves on?

121
00:10:27,950 --> 00:10:29,463
Once again, please.

122
00:10:29,510 --> 00:10:31,307
That was absolutely perfect

123
00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:33,705
without being actually any good.

124
00:10:33,750 --> 00:10:35,183
Once again, then.

125
00:10:35,230 --> 00:10:37,664
- Hiya.
- Hi, Nic!

126
00:10:37,710 --> 00:10:40,178
Let's keep the momentum
going, please.

127
00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:43,188
- Time to quit.
- After a short break then.

128
00:10:43,230 --> 00:10:45,619
Are you all right?

129
00:10:45,670 --> 00:10:48,980
Look at that emotion.
Real, raw emotion.

130
00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:51,590
Come on, boys!
Capture that magic!

131
00:10:51,630 --> 00:10:53,222
Quickly.

132
00:10:53,270 --> 00:10:54,942
How are you feeling?

133
00:10:54,990 --> 00:10:58,824
All right,
except my back's done in

134
00:10:58,870 --> 00:11:01,782
and I haven't seen
my feet for weeks.

135
00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:04,708
- I hear they're really fat.
- They are...not.

136
00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:06,183
How's baby?

137
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:09,984
How would you feel being
carried around in a waterbed?

138
00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:11,622
Very lucky.

139
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,103
It kicked!

140
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:15,380
- When's it due?
- Last week.

141
00:11:15,430 --> 00:11:17,785
You ought to charge it storage.

142
00:11:17,830 --> 00:11:21,140
- So...how's Trevor?
- Trevor's left me.

143
00:11:21,190 --> 00:11:22,908
I don't believe it.

144
00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:24,588
Sound running.

145
00:11:24,630 --> 00:11:27,622
Would you mind
not filming, please?

146
00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:28,898
Cut.

147
00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:32,659
I knew Trevor was irresponsible,
but now he's proved it.

148
00:11:32,710 --> 00:11:34,382
What a complete...

149
00:11:34,430 --> 00:11:37,786
I want to show
the real Spice Girls.

150
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:41,379
I want to crash through
the show-biz facade

151
00:11:41,430 --> 00:11:43,227
and reveal the truth.

152
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:47,786
So long as you crash through
the show-biz facade on schedule.

153
00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:50,583
And don't get in anybody's way.

154
00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:55,907
Yes, well,
a smile costs nothing.

155
00:11:55,950 --> 00:11:58,384
Nic, it'll be all right.

156
00:11:58,430 --> 00:11:59,579
Oh, no.

157
00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:00,585
- What?
- What?

158
00:12:00,630 --> 00:12:03,861
- I think I am getting broody.
- Oh, no!

159
00:12:03,910 --> 00:12:08,381
Wait till you start having kids.
That'd be really weird.

160
00:12:13,590 --> 00:12:17,378
How does my Gloria
gets her clothes so dirty?

161
00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:18,749
Bless her.

162
00:12:18,790 --> 00:12:23,500
My poor back.

163
00:12:23,550 --> 00:12:27,941
How can you have more kids?
You've got six already.

164
00:12:27,990 --> 00:12:30,345
Is it six?

165
00:12:30,390 --> 00:12:32,142
They're cute
when they're little,

166
00:12:32,190 --> 00:12:35,023
then they grow up
to be little bleeders.

167
00:12:35,070 --> 00:12:38,506
Thank God for boarding school.

168
00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,780
- Our Terry goes to me...
- Cheers.

169
00:12:40,830 --> 00:12:43,185
He goes,
"Ma, I wanna be a singer."

170
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:46,540
I said,
"Get yourself a proper job."

171
00:12:46,590 --> 00:12:49,024
Does he listen? No.

172
00:12:49,070 --> 00:12:51,345
They never do. I mean...

173
00:12:51,390 --> 00:12:54,223
Darling, kids today,
they don't know...

174
00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:55,749
how lucky they are!

175
00:12:57,150 --> 00:13:00,904
Brucey! Demi!
Turn that bloody racket down!

176
00:13:00,950 --> 00:13:02,986
There's the small matter

177
00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:05,749
of an extremely live gig
on Saturday.

178
00:13:05,790 --> 00:13:07,064
We're coming.

179
00:13:07,110 --> 00:13:08,941
I don't want you to go.

180
00:13:08,990 --> 00:13:11,265
- Take care.
- See you later.

181
00:13:11,310 --> 00:13:12,629
We're coming.

182
00:13:12,670 --> 00:13:14,786
- I need to wee.
- Yeah, so do I.

183
00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:18,019
Down here. Quick.

184
00:14:18,070 --> 00:14:19,389
Baby Spice! Get her shoes!

185
00:14:19,430 --> 00:14:22,706
- Which one's Baby?
- The blonde one.

186
00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:46,942
- Posh one.
- Which one?

187
00:14:46,990 --> 00:14:48,662
The one that looks posh.

188
00:15:21,110 --> 00:15:23,908
Across to Geri. Hips. Good.
This is a good bit.

189
00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:07,186
"Spice Girls set
to conquer the globe."

190
00:16:09,710 --> 00:16:11,985
Look at that, Brad.

191
00:16:12,030 --> 00:16:14,498
"Spice Girls set
to conquer the globe."

192
00:16:14,550 --> 00:16:16,381
Why can't I pick up a paper

193
00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:18,785
without seeing them
all over the front page?

194
00:16:18,830 --> 00:16:23,381
- You told us to write that.
- I know, I know!

195
00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:27,901
As long as they sell newspapers,
we'll have to write about them.

196
00:16:27,950 --> 00:16:31,943
I'm sick of them!
We need a new angle.

197
00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:35,949
Who cares if the Spice Girls
get to Number One again?

198
00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:40,268
Who cares if they climb
up Mount Everest on an ostrich,

199
00:16:40,310 --> 00:16:42,699
or find a cure for déjà vu?

200
00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:43,819
Not me.

201
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:46,748
Or if they find a cure
for déjà vu?

202
00:16:46,790 --> 00:16:48,189
Not me.

203
00:16:48,230 --> 00:16:51,984
I've got a better idea.
Try this for size.

204
00:16:52,030 --> 00:16:57,707
"Spice Girls' live show
cancelled."

205
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,627
That's not bad.

206
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:03,822
"Spice Girls fall out."

207
00:17:04,950 --> 00:17:08,067
"Spice Girls...split up!"

208
00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:13,069
Think how many copies
that headline will sell.

209
00:17:13,110 --> 00:17:16,022
- I like it!
- I can make it happen!

210
00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:17,583
Me, Kevin McMaxford.

211
00:17:17,630 --> 00:17:20,667
I put them there,
I can bring 'em down!

212
00:17:20,710 --> 00:17:23,270
- Yes!
- Who's gonna help me?

213
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:26,347
Who is gonna help me
take on Girl Power

214
00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:28,984
and bring it crashing
to the ground?

215
00:17:29,030 --> 00:17:30,782
I'll find someone, Kevin.

216
00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:33,424
I just wish
you wouldn't get so upset.

217
00:17:33,870 --> 00:17:37,385
It is dangerous
to store moisurising cream

218
00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:39,102
in the refrigerator.

219
00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:42,108
It can be mistaken
for mayonnaise.

220
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:44,988
Check.

221
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:48,989
- What do you mean, "Check"?
- My bishop's got your king.

222
00:17:49,030 --> 00:17:50,986
- Where?
- There.

223
00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:54,067
Move it in front
or out of the way.

224
00:17:54,110 --> 00:17:56,385
I'll move that fairground horse.

225
00:17:56,430 --> 00:17:58,705
- Sort that out.
- You can't do that.

226
00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:00,706
- Says who?
- Says Mr Chess.

227
00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:04,060
- It's in the rules.
- I'm gonna break the rules

228
00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:08,069
and set this fairground
horse free. There.

229
00:18:08,110 --> 00:18:10,021
I'll slap you in a minute.

230
00:18:14,110 --> 00:18:17,739
It's obvious that the
Spice Girls are movie stars.

231
00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:22,102
We've worked
on this idea for months.

232
00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:25,142
Can we turn off
our cellphones?

233
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:27,067
Respect for the writer.

234
00:18:29,870 --> 00:18:32,145
OK, five girls, five lives.

235
00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:37,105
One story as old as time itself,
but as fresh as newly-cut grass.

236
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:40,426
- And that's fresh.
- The girls play five sisters

237
00:18:40,470 --> 00:18:43,701
whose parents disappeared
during the Harrod's sale

238
00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:45,706
and were never seen again.

239
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,502
As if ripped
from today's headlines.

240
00:18:47,550 --> 00:18:49,063
Now they live at home,

241
00:18:49,110 --> 00:18:51,544
struggling to support
a grandmother

242
00:18:51,590 --> 00:18:53,865
who suffers from some
mysterious wasting disease.

243
00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:55,229
I've got tears.

244
00:18:55,270 --> 00:19:00,185
Their only hope lies with
the middle sister, Melanie C,

245
00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:04,303
who's convinced she could be
an Olympic ski-jump champion

246
00:19:04,350 --> 00:19:08,263
if only she could overcome
her fear of heights and snow

247
00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:10,301
and find a pair of skis.

248
00:19:12,070 --> 00:19:13,344
That's amazing.

249
00:19:13,390 --> 00:19:14,505
That's fantastic.

250
00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:17,462
- What do you think?
- It stinks.

251
00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:21,269
Of course it stinks,
but it's a start.

252
00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:25,667
We're cooking here.
This is a stew, a gumbo -

253
00:19:25,710 --> 00:19:27,985
a jambalaya, if you will.

254
00:19:28,030 --> 00:19:29,543
We're just jamming.

255
00:19:29,590 --> 00:19:31,660
OK, here's another idea.

256
00:19:33,230 --> 00:19:34,345
Crocodiles...

257
00:19:38,990 --> 00:19:43,347
If you want tickets
to the Spice Girls' live gig,

258
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:47,906
you're too late.
But they're with me now...

259
00:19:47,950 --> 00:19:50,464
- Oh, turn it off.
- All right.

260
00:19:50,510 --> 00:19:53,502
What's it like to be Baby Spice?

261
00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:56,860
Do you think I'm always
gonna be seen as Baby Spice,

262
00:19:56,910 --> 00:19:59,583
even when I'm...30.

263
00:19:59,630 --> 00:20:04,385
- You play up to it, Emma.
- No, I don't.

264
00:20:04,430 --> 00:20:07,900
- You're doing it now.
- I am not!

265
00:20:07,950 --> 00:20:10,942
Em, you've got this
dead cute little smile,

266
00:20:10,990 --> 00:20:13,424
so you can get away
with anything.

267
00:20:14,830 --> 00:20:17,469
Ladies and gentlemen....

268
00:20:18,470 --> 00:20:20,540
Four horrible murders...

269
00:20:20,590 --> 00:20:22,501
perpetrated by the same...

270
00:20:22,550 --> 00:20:24,142
ruthless psychopath.

271
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:28,866
Each victim riddled
with 100 machine-gun bullets.

272
00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:30,502
But who is it?

273
00:20:30,550 --> 00:20:32,381
Professor Schutzman?

274
00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:34,660
Father Conan Murphy?

275
00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:36,462
Lady Matilda Davenport?

276
00:20:36,510 --> 00:20:37,659
Or...

277
00:20:37,710 --> 00:20:39,940
Miss Emma...

278
00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:41,662
Bunton?

279
00:20:41,710 --> 00:20:44,861
The murderer is...

280
00:20:45,990 --> 00:20:47,582
Father Conan Murphy!

281
00:20:48,990 --> 00:20:51,424
I am fed up with people

282
00:20:51,470 --> 00:20:53,984
thinking I talk
about clothes all the time.

283
00:20:54,030 --> 00:20:56,942
People only judge you
on what you look like.

284
00:20:56,990 --> 00:20:58,343
Exactly.

285
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:00,426
It's the same with fish.

286
00:21:00,470 --> 00:21:03,587
You've got the spotty one
that's wacky,

287
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:06,064
the fluffy one that's cute,

288
00:21:06,110 --> 00:21:08,066
and this ugly loser one

289
00:21:08,110 --> 00:21:11,580
that reminds me
of my ex-boyfriend Steven.

290
00:21:12,870 --> 00:21:17,785
Did you know the largest fish
in the world is the manta ray?

291
00:21:17,830 --> 00:21:19,627
And there's the ginger one

292
00:21:19,670 --> 00:21:23,106
that is full of useless
information about manta rays.

293
00:21:23,150 --> 00:21:24,629
I don't get it.

294
00:21:24,670 --> 00:21:28,629
Why do people
stereotype us all the time?

295
00:21:33,830 --> 00:21:36,549
We're getting predictable.

296
00:21:36,590 --> 00:21:38,820
Maybe I should stop being loud.

297
00:21:38,870 --> 00:21:41,145
Fat chance.

298
00:21:41,190 --> 00:21:43,067
Hold it there.

299
00:21:43,110 --> 00:21:44,987
Now give it to me.

300
00:21:45,030 --> 00:21:47,260
Why don't we give
each other new characters?

301
00:21:47,310 --> 00:21:50,780
- Like what?
- What about Bricklayer Spice?

302
00:21:50,830 --> 00:21:55,950
- Sexy! Come on, energy!
- Or Trainspotting Spice.

303
00:21:55,990 --> 00:21:57,742
Smashing!

304
00:21:57,790 --> 00:22:01,226
How about Sporty-But-Interested-
In-Other-Things Spice?

305
00:22:01,270 --> 00:22:03,181
Go for it, girls!

306
00:22:03,230 --> 00:22:05,664
Cheesed-Off-With-Cheesy-
Photo-Sessions Spice.

307
00:22:05,710 --> 00:22:08,668
- There you are.
- Thank you!

308
00:22:08,710 --> 00:22:09,620
And again.

309
00:22:09,670 --> 00:22:10,989
Let's go do our own thing.

310
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:11,985
Come on.

311
00:23:04,710 --> 00:23:09,101
Hello, Mr Bond.
Or can I call you James?

312
00:23:14,870 --> 00:23:16,667
Do you want that
shaken or stirred?

313
00:23:16,710 --> 00:23:19,668
That's it. I'm off. I'm going.

314
00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:26,188
Hup, hup, hup, hup!

315
00:23:26,230 --> 00:23:28,186
I'm so sporty!

316
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:40,502
My mummy's my best friend.

317
00:23:42,790 --> 00:23:44,985
I'm just too posh.

318
00:23:46,350 --> 00:23:48,386
When are Liverpool gonna
win the cup, like, eh?

319
00:23:48,430 --> 00:23:49,909
Are we finished yet?

320
00:23:51,310 --> 00:23:52,902
Girl Power.

321
00:23:52,950 --> 00:23:54,906
Feminism.
Do you know what I mean?

322
00:23:54,950 --> 00:23:56,542
Oh, no.

323
00:24:01,550 --> 00:24:03,268
I feel as if
I'm being strangled.

324
00:24:05,350 --> 00:24:08,342
I nearly fell off these shoes
and sprained my ankle.

325
00:24:08,390 --> 00:24:11,302
These are really tight.
They go right up my bum.

326
00:24:11,350 --> 00:24:14,228
- These are really comfy.
- Don't even think about it.

327
00:24:14,270 --> 00:24:16,625
- I'm getting these off.
- I need some platforms.

328
00:24:16,670 --> 00:24:18,023
How can you wear these, Geri?

329
00:24:18,070 --> 00:24:20,425
You look crap
in my clothes anyway.

330
00:24:20,830 --> 00:24:23,105
Yes! I've got
the man for the job.

331
00:24:23,150 --> 00:24:25,266
He did the Fergie
toe-sucking pictures,

332
00:24:25,310 --> 00:24:27,540
he got the Teletubbies
taking a poo,

333
00:24:27,590 --> 00:24:30,423
and he can get Clinton tucking
his T-shirt into his underpants.

334
00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:32,540
Sounds great,
but where the hell is he?

335
00:24:32,590 --> 00:24:33,659
I'm here.

336
00:24:35,550 --> 00:24:38,064
How do we know you're any good?

337
00:24:38,110 --> 00:24:41,819
7.45. You sniffing your socks
before putting them on.

338
00:24:41,870 --> 00:24:45,704
8.55. You in the lift,
picking your nose.

339
00:24:45,750 --> 00:24:46,899
Another bogey breakfast.

340
00:24:46,950 --> 00:24:48,508
He's good.

341
00:24:48,550 --> 00:24:50,142
You again.

342
00:24:50,190 --> 00:24:53,182
Behind the bike sheds
with Eileen when you were 12.

343
00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:56,142
He's very good.

344
00:24:56,190 --> 00:24:57,703
He's gone.

345
00:25:05,230 --> 00:25:07,698
Now hear this.

346
00:25:07,750 --> 00:25:10,025
After using the showers,

347
00:25:10,070 --> 00:25:14,382
could people please pick up
the hair in the plugholes?

348
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:17,547
It's unhygienic
and can lead to flooding.

349
00:25:17,590 --> 00:25:20,343
Clifford, can't you
just tell us normally?

350
00:25:23,270 --> 00:25:26,546
Next stop - publicity party.

351
00:25:26,590 --> 00:25:28,182
Beautiful people,
reporters, interviews,

352
00:25:28,230 --> 00:25:30,619
lots of finger food. Have fun.

353
00:25:30,670 --> 00:25:31,898
That is all.

354
00:25:31,950 --> 00:25:34,259
- They're here. Don't look.
- I'm not looking.

355
00:25:34,310 --> 00:25:37,222
I hate these parties.
Everyone dresses over the top.

356
00:25:37,270 --> 00:25:41,149
They all ask how you are,
and they don't even care.

357
00:25:41,190 --> 00:25:46,662
I should be at the footie now
and... Do you know him?

358
00:25:46,710 --> 00:25:47,938
Sorry.

359
00:25:48,430 --> 00:25:51,502
- Do you know who I am?
- Who are you?

360
00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:52,665
Piers Cuthbertson Smythe.

361
00:25:52,710 --> 00:25:54,587
I'm with the Spice Girls.

362
00:25:54,630 --> 00:25:57,747
Your name's not down,
you're not coming in.

363
00:25:57,870 --> 00:25:59,986
You said he'd recognise you.

364
00:26:00,030 --> 00:26:03,705
I have to go to all the shows -
Gucci, Pucci, Fendi...

365
00:26:03,750 --> 00:26:05,980
I was very disappointed
with their spring collections.

366
00:26:06,030 --> 00:26:09,784
As for McQueen and Galliano,
I could go either way.

367
00:26:09,830 --> 00:26:12,628
What do you think
about manta rays?

368
00:26:14,110 --> 00:26:16,066
Oh, yes.

369
00:26:16,110 --> 00:26:19,102
Marvellous designer, Manta Ray.
I love Manta Ray.

370
00:26:19,150 --> 00:26:22,620
These are Manta Ray shoes.
These are his glasses.

371
00:26:22,670 --> 00:26:26,948
Bob, we have to sort your hair
out. I'm gonna do your hair.

372
00:26:26,990 --> 00:26:30,380
What's wrong with the hair?
Everybody's going on about it.

373
00:26:30,430 --> 00:26:33,467
We don't want to
threaten a man's masculinity.

374
00:26:33,510 --> 00:26:35,501
- Of course not.
- Or be dominating.

375
00:26:35,550 --> 00:26:36,744
Of course not.

376
00:26:36,790 --> 00:26:40,942
Men sometimes get all nervous
and don't know what to say.

377
00:26:40,990 --> 00:26:45,188
Well, um...things...

378
00:26:45,230 --> 00:26:47,380
I'm gonna go to the toilet.

379
00:26:47,430 --> 00:26:48,579
Hello, Trish!

380
00:26:48,630 --> 00:26:53,067
I've been talking
to a Spice Girl.

381
00:26:53,110 --> 00:26:54,384
I know.

382
00:26:54,430 --> 00:26:57,103
Bob, I think you look great.

383
00:26:57,150 --> 00:26:59,186
What the hell have you done?

384
00:26:59,230 --> 00:27:02,347
- Nicola, Nicola! Remember me?
- Yes. Hi.

385
00:27:02,390 --> 00:27:05,109
We're with her.
We have to get in.

386
00:27:05,150 --> 00:27:06,299
Spare ticket.

387
00:27:06,350 --> 00:27:08,181
We have a ticket.

388
00:27:08,230 --> 00:27:10,790
"And tonight is the night,

389
00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:13,025
"When three become one."

390
00:27:13,070 --> 00:27:15,664
- Thank you.
- He's great, isn't he?

391
00:27:15,710 --> 00:27:18,224
I've got something
important to ask you.

392
00:27:18,270 --> 00:27:20,500
If you don't want
to do it, it's all right.

393
00:27:20,550 --> 00:27:24,907
I was thinking one of you
could be godmother to the baby.

394
00:27:24,950 --> 00:27:30,308
But you're all my best mates.
I want you all to be godmothers.

395
00:27:30,350 --> 00:27:33,422
It's got to be
a Liverpool supporter.

396
00:27:33,470 --> 00:27:36,860
Hang on. Do godmothers
get stretch marks?

397
00:27:36,910 --> 00:27:40,539
Sorry to interrupt,
it's interview and photo time.

398
00:27:40,590 --> 00:27:43,662
- Do we have to?
- Yes, it's your job.

399
00:27:43,710 --> 00:27:46,782
- I'm so sorry.
- See you later.

400
00:27:48,950 --> 00:27:51,942
Girls, it's publicity
for Saturday's show.

401
00:27:55,750 --> 00:27:58,389
Are you part
of the Spice phenomenon?

402
00:27:58,430 --> 00:28:00,785
No, I'm just nobody.

403
00:28:00,830 --> 00:28:03,185
Excuse me a minute.

404
00:28:15,270 --> 00:28:17,989
So we're on a wide-angled lens?

405
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:19,383
Running.

406
00:28:19,430 --> 00:28:20,783
And now tonight,

407
00:28:20,830 --> 00:28:23,264
I'll be asking
the big questions.

408
00:28:23,310 --> 00:28:27,428
How are relationships moulded
in this kaleidoscopic world

409
00:28:27,470 --> 00:28:28,983
the Spice Girls inhabit?

410
00:28:29,030 --> 00:28:31,544
Let's find out, shall we?

411
00:28:31,590 --> 00:28:35,139
So do you have
any time for boys?

412
00:28:35,190 --> 00:28:37,750
Boys? Doesn't ring a bell.

413
00:28:37,790 --> 00:28:41,385
I think you should just
be able to wheel them in,

414
00:28:41,430 --> 00:28:43,421
then they're there,
and then that's it.

415
00:28:43,470 --> 00:28:44,664
Really?

416
00:28:44,710 --> 00:28:46,985
And order them like a pizza.

417
00:28:47,030 --> 00:28:50,943
I'll have a deep pan, 6-foot,
green eyes, pair of loafers,

418
00:28:50,990 --> 00:28:52,469
and no socks.

419
00:28:52,510 --> 00:28:54,023
Yeah, no cheese.

420
00:28:54,070 --> 00:28:56,823
But you like boys,
don't you, Geri?

421
00:28:56,870 --> 00:28:59,065
Come on.
Is the Pope a Catholic?

422
00:28:59,110 --> 00:29:01,704
Apparently he is, yes.

423
00:29:04,510 --> 00:29:06,580
Church leaders
have reacted with shock

424
00:29:06,630 --> 00:29:08,780
to reports that the Spice Girls

425
00:29:08,830 --> 00:29:11,788
have cast doubt on the religious
conviction of the Pope.

426
00:29:11,830 --> 00:29:13,343
That's more like it!

427
00:29:13,390 --> 00:29:16,700
A Vatican spokesman said
the pontiff was confused

428
00:29:16,750 --> 00:29:20,584
by the suggestion that
he might not be Catholic.

429
00:29:20,630 --> 00:29:23,906
We asked the Bishop
of Candleford what he thought.

430
00:29:23,950 --> 00:29:26,305
It's a terrible suggestion,
almost blasphemous.

431
00:29:26,350 --> 00:29:28,386
Of course
the Pope's a Catholic!

432
00:29:28,430 --> 00:29:31,581
Otherwise he wouldn't
have become Pope, would he?

433
00:29:31,630 --> 00:29:35,145
What evidence do they have
to support these allegations?

434
00:29:35,190 --> 00:29:39,069
Here we go.
The backlash has started.

435
00:29:41,870 --> 00:29:44,100
When the rabbit
of chaos is pursued

436
00:29:44,150 --> 00:29:47,062
by the ferret of disorder
through the fields of anarchy,

437
00:29:47,110 --> 00:29:50,580
it is time to hang your pants
on the hook of darkness.

438
00:29:50,630 --> 00:29:51,619
Yup.

439
00:29:51,670 --> 00:29:53,945
Whether they're clean or not.

440
00:29:56,950 --> 00:29:58,349
London to Milan
Flight SG 1919
6.30am
Why Milan?

441
00:29:58,390 --> 00:30:01,348
London to Milan
Flight SG 1919
6.30am
A TV special.
Screaming kids. The usual.

442
00:30:01,390 --> 00:30:02,982
London to Milan
Flight SG 1919
6.30am
Are we there yet?

443
00:30:26,150 --> 00:30:27,868
What is this?

444
00:30:31,470 --> 00:30:32,664
No way.

445
00:30:32,710 --> 00:30:35,224
Clifford,
what is going on here?

446
00:30:36,630 --> 00:30:38,222
Stop, stop, stop.

447
00:30:38,270 --> 00:30:39,828
Why are you stop-a?

448
00:30:39,870 --> 00:30:42,668
We didn't agree to have
them dancing with us.

449
00:30:42,710 --> 00:30:46,259
You said it was going to be
tacky, but this IS tacky.

450
00:30:46,310 --> 00:30:47,789
Hey, Bobby Charlton.

451
00:30:47,830 --> 00:30:49,582
Why are they stop-a?

452
00:30:49,630 --> 00:30:53,225
They're stopping because
these clowns suddenly appeared.

453
00:30:53,270 --> 00:30:54,988
Molto, molto good dancer.

454
00:30:55,030 --> 00:30:59,581
Sure, but they should be
on another show, or in a zoo.

455
00:30:59,630 --> 00:31:02,622
Look at his muscles. He's got
ferrets burrowing under there.

456
00:31:02,670 --> 00:31:06,663
I know. I'm sorting it out.
Over here.

457
00:31:06,710 --> 00:31:08,666
You think that's real
down there?

458
00:31:08,710 --> 00:31:10,621
Looks like
a pair of rolled-up socks.

459
00:31:10,670 --> 00:31:14,379
You carry on like this,
I take the girls back.

460
00:31:14,430 --> 00:31:18,105
You take the girls back?
What about the contract?

461
00:31:18,150 --> 00:31:19,219
Contract?

462
00:31:19,270 --> 00:31:22,899
In my bed I've got two teddies,
a rabbit and two dollies.

463
00:31:22,950 --> 00:31:24,144
Susan's got a bad eye.

464
00:31:24,190 --> 00:31:28,183
The boys a-stay here.
The girls a-go, I a-sue you.

465
00:31:28,230 --> 00:31:31,506
A.C. Milan? Nah.
You're weak in your midfield.

466
00:31:31,550 --> 00:31:33,381
I've got a green giraffe.

467
00:31:33,430 --> 00:31:35,944
I felt sorry for him.

468
00:31:38,310 --> 00:31:42,428
Then there's Buzz, the alien,
and a fluffy pink water bottle.

469
00:31:42,470 --> 00:31:45,382
So there's not
enough room for you, mate.

470
00:31:46,950 --> 00:31:49,464
- Hey, your mother.
- My mother?

471
00:31:49,510 --> 00:31:51,785
Si. Your mother.

472
00:31:51,830 --> 00:31:54,219
Hey. YOUR mother!

473
00:31:54,270 --> 00:31:56,784
- Mi mama?
- Si, your big fat mother,

474
00:31:56,830 --> 00:31:59,390
and your brother-in-law
and your mad cousin

475
00:31:59,430 --> 00:32:01,580
and your next-door
neighbour's goat!

476
00:32:02,670 --> 00:32:03,739
I kill you.

477
00:32:03,790 --> 00:32:05,189
Go for it!

478
00:32:05,230 --> 00:32:07,061
Boys, boys, boys.

479
00:32:07,110 --> 00:32:08,509
Calm down.

480
00:32:08,550 --> 00:32:10,506
Have you not heard
of "compromisation"?

481
00:32:10,550 --> 00:32:11,665
What?

482
00:32:11,710 --> 00:32:13,428
E pazzo.

483
00:32:14,550 --> 00:32:16,859
Crazy, crazy.

484
00:33:15,390 --> 00:33:18,348
- That looks better.
- We agreed on a compromise.

485
00:33:18,390 --> 00:33:22,463
You'll never believe it

486
00:33:22,510 --> 00:33:25,707
- What on earth's that?
- That's the compromise.

487
00:33:28,630 --> 00:33:30,586
Hey, Bobby Charlton!

488
00:33:30,630 --> 00:33:33,428
Culi bellissimi!

489
00:33:45,350 --> 00:33:47,739
Milan to London
Flight SG 1819
Midnight
Was that really worth it?

490
00:33:47,790 --> 00:33:49,621
Milan to London
Flight SG 1819
Midnight
I'm glad we've got
the morning off.

491
00:33:49,670 --> 00:33:51,467
Milan to London
Flight SG 1819
Midnight
First one in a month.

492
00:33:51,510 --> 00:33:53,387
Milan to London
Flight SG 1819
Midnight
Are we there yet?

493
00:33:54,510 --> 00:33:57,388
- I'm dying for the loo.
- So am I.

494
00:33:57,430 --> 00:33:59,261
Can we stop the bus?

495
00:33:59,310 --> 00:34:01,665
Dennis, pull over.

496
00:34:01,710 --> 00:34:04,941
The girls need to go
to the bathroom...again.

497
00:34:08,230 --> 00:34:10,585
I'm bursting to go wee.

498
00:34:12,630 --> 00:34:14,780
Geri, I borrowed your shoes.

499
00:34:14,830 --> 00:34:16,468
Mind the spiders!

500
00:34:18,270 --> 00:34:21,182
Doesn't matter
how successful you are.

501
00:34:21,230 --> 00:34:23,221
Sometimes you have
to pee in the woods.

502
00:34:23,270 --> 00:34:27,388
How can all the toilets
break down at the same time?

503
00:34:27,430 --> 00:34:28,863
It's not my fault.

504
00:34:28,910 --> 00:34:31,185
It's hard to get a plumber
to your house,

505
00:34:31,230 --> 00:34:33,141
and that stays in one place.

506
00:34:33,190 --> 00:34:36,227
Try calling one
out to a bus. Impossible.

507
00:34:36,270 --> 00:34:38,306
Can't you do
something about them?

508
00:34:38,350 --> 00:34:41,501
- Like what?
- Fix them!

509
00:34:41,550 --> 00:34:47,466
Listen. I love these girls,
and I'll do anything for 'em.

510
00:34:48,710 --> 00:34:50,029
But I won't do that.

511
00:34:51,830 --> 00:34:54,549
Let's not go any further.
I'm scared.

512
00:34:54,590 --> 00:34:57,866
Why is the countryside
so bloody muddy?

513
00:34:57,910 --> 00:35:01,141
Something just brushed past me.

514
00:35:01,190 --> 00:35:04,102
It's only a beast
that wants to eat you.

515
00:35:06,310 --> 00:35:09,302
- Oh, pack it in, Mel.
- It wasn't me.

516
00:35:09,350 --> 00:35:11,705
I think we're lost.

517
00:35:13,750 --> 00:35:15,661
What's that?

518
00:35:17,070 --> 00:35:19,459
Oh, my God, run for it!

519
00:35:19,510 --> 00:35:21,978
I can't move!

520
00:35:42,070 --> 00:35:45,380
It's them! It's them! Look!

521
00:35:45,430 --> 00:35:47,386
Are you sure?

522
00:35:47,430 --> 00:35:50,581
Yes! There's
the little blonde one.

523
00:35:50,630 --> 00:35:52,746
That's what you said before...

524
00:35:52,790 --> 00:35:55,463
..and it was a sheep!

525
00:35:59,750 --> 00:36:01,547
Get off!

526
00:36:01,590 --> 00:36:03,979
I told you - shake hands!

527
00:36:04,030 --> 00:36:05,861
Geri, say something to them.

528
00:36:05,910 --> 00:36:07,821
Say something.

529
00:36:07,870 --> 00:36:10,589
What do you want with us?

530
00:36:12,070 --> 00:36:15,346
Are you the Spice Girls?

531
00:36:15,390 --> 00:36:16,618
Yes.

532
00:36:17,470 --> 00:36:20,223
Can we have tickets
for your Albert Hall gig?

533
00:36:20,270 --> 00:36:23,546
I'm sorry,
but they've all sold out.

534
00:36:23,590 --> 00:36:26,423
I told you
we should've booked early!

535
00:36:28,270 --> 00:36:30,306
What's that?

536
00:36:30,350 --> 00:36:32,625
Can I have your autograph?

537
00:36:33,110 --> 00:36:34,702
It's for my brother.

538
00:36:34,750 --> 00:36:35,865
What's his name?

539
00:36:38,190 --> 00:36:41,705
- Is that 3 or 4 Ks?
- I think that's 4.

540
00:36:41,750 --> 00:36:44,389
Could you sign this,
please, Posh?

541
00:36:44,430 --> 00:36:46,819
Oh, gosh, you're fat.

542
00:36:46,870 --> 00:36:48,940
Give us a kiss, Ginger one!

543
00:36:48,990 --> 00:36:52,107
He wants you to snog him.

544
00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:01,818
Say "khttttyakkk"!

545
00:37:02,070 --> 00:37:03,742
Smile.

546
00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:07,505
What do you mean, aliens?

547
00:37:07,550 --> 00:37:09,063
Aliens from outer space.

548
00:37:09,110 --> 00:37:11,305
They had little squidgy faces.

549
00:37:11,350 --> 00:37:13,386
And cheap green coats.

550
00:37:13,430 --> 00:37:15,466
You're obviously under stress.

551
00:37:15,510 --> 00:37:17,262
You need some time off.

552
00:37:17,310 --> 00:37:20,620
I'm going to stand up
to the chief. Be assertive.

553
00:37:20,670 --> 00:37:22,945
I'll ask him...no, tell him...

554
00:37:22,990 --> 00:37:25,185
the girls'll have
the morning off.

555
00:37:26,510 --> 00:37:28,978
The answer is no, Clifford.

556
00:37:29,030 --> 00:37:30,179
Chief?

557
00:37:30,230 --> 00:37:32,300
The girls cannot have
the morning off.

558
00:37:32,350 --> 00:37:33,624
Of course not, Chief.

559
00:37:33,670 --> 00:37:35,900
The fact that they've
been working hard

560
00:37:35,950 --> 00:37:37,303
and they're exhausted is...

561
00:37:37,350 --> 00:37:39,386
- Irrelevant.
- Irrelevant.

562
00:37:39,430 --> 00:37:42,661
Without sacrifice,
there is no success.

563
00:37:42,710 --> 00:37:45,304
Without pain,
there is no pleasure.

564
00:37:45,350 --> 00:37:48,387
And without something,
there is no nothing.

565
00:37:59,630 --> 00:38:02,986
Very assertive, Clifford.
You'd better go and tell them.

566
00:38:03,030 --> 00:38:05,100
- I know.
- Go on, then.

567
00:38:05,150 --> 00:38:06,822
I'm going on, then.

568
00:38:09,550 --> 00:38:10,744
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye.

569
00:38:10,790 --> 00:38:13,065
Hold on, hold on.
Where are you going?

570
00:38:13,110 --> 00:38:14,862
We're going home to sleep.

571
00:38:14,910 --> 00:38:17,788
I'm sorry.
There's been a change of plan.

572
00:38:17,830 --> 00:38:21,106
The schedule's too tight.
No morning off.

573
00:38:21,150 --> 00:38:25,143
- Oh, nice one, Clifford.
- You nearly had us there.

574
00:38:25,190 --> 00:38:27,021
You're not good at telling fibs.

575
00:38:27,070 --> 00:38:30,062
I'm sorry.
There's too much to get through.

576
00:38:30,110 --> 00:38:33,227
- You're not joking, are you?
- Oh, no.

577
00:38:33,270 --> 00:38:35,579
We've got to see
Nicola in the morning

578
00:38:35,630 --> 00:38:37,143
'cause the baby's overdue.

579
00:38:37,190 --> 00:38:41,069
Babies are allowed
to be overdue. You're not.

580
00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:42,987
Please.

581
00:38:43,030 --> 00:38:46,147
I'll buy you a milk
chocolate Magnum each.

582
00:38:46,190 --> 00:38:48,750
- OK.
- No.

583
00:38:48,790 --> 00:38:52,499
- You can only push us so far.
- Yeah, right.

584
00:38:52,550 --> 00:38:54,939
You just better watch it, mate.

585
00:38:54,990 --> 00:38:59,222
From now on, there's
no more Mr Nice Spice.

586
00:39:04,590 --> 00:39:06,103
My God.

587
00:39:08,550 --> 00:39:10,984
- What do you think?
- I don't know, mate.

588
00:39:11,030 --> 00:39:13,498
Fooled you!

589
00:39:13,550 --> 00:39:16,018
- Gotcha.
- See you in the morning!

590
00:39:16,070 --> 00:39:18,106
Don't forget my Magnum.

591
00:39:18,150 --> 00:39:20,869
Now hear this.

592
00:39:20,910 --> 00:39:23,424
You are about
to enter dance camp.

593
00:39:23,470 --> 00:39:25,506
You will be
under the instruction

594
00:39:25,550 --> 00:39:28,223
of the toughest
dance teacher ever, Mr Step.

595
00:39:28,270 --> 00:39:29,703
Right, you horrible lot!

596
00:39:29,750 --> 00:39:31,149
Left, right, left.

597
00:39:31,190 --> 00:39:33,385
Whoo. Yaah.

598
00:39:33,430 --> 00:39:35,785
Don't give me
any of that Julie Andrews

599
00:39:35,830 --> 00:39:37,422
high-on-a-hill type claptrap.

600
00:39:37,470 --> 00:39:40,382
I'm your mother now,
and I don't mean superior.

601
00:39:40,430 --> 00:39:43,024
Take that sweet
out of your mouth!

602
00:39:45,230 --> 00:39:48,745
Right, now, shooo-tanoo.

603
00:39:48,790 --> 00:39:49,939
Shimmy, shimmy.

604
00:39:49,990 --> 00:39:51,981
Are you the dance teacher?

605
00:39:52,030 --> 00:39:54,624
That is correct.

606
00:39:54,670 --> 00:39:58,982
I'll show you my pas de bra,
though that won't apply to you.

607
00:39:59,030 --> 00:40:00,702
Pay attention.

608
00:40:02,390 --> 00:40:03,459
One...

609
00:40:03,510 --> 00:40:05,262
Two, one...

610
00:40:18,510 --> 00:40:20,944
- This is ridiculous.
- We can't dance like that.

611
00:40:20,990 --> 00:40:23,424
Yes, I know.
I've seen your videos.

612
00:40:24,870 --> 00:40:27,668
That's enough.
Shall we do our own thing?

613
00:40:27,710 --> 00:40:30,622
Can't even understand them.
They talk so strange.

614
00:40:30,670 --> 00:40:33,628
That's it. We're gonna
get fit, fit, fit.

615
00:40:33,670 --> 00:40:36,059
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

616
00:41:01,270 --> 00:41:03,864
Attention! Turn right!

617
00:41:03,910 --> 00:41:08,825
3, 4, love it.
Make your mothers proud of you.

618
00:41:08,870 --> 00:41:11,464
What sort of men
are you, anyway?

619
00:41:11,510 --> 00:41:14,263
Left, right, left, right,

620
00:41:14,310 --> 00:41:15,789
left, right, left, right.

621
00:41:15,830 --> 00:41:18,264
Left, right, left, right.

622
00:41:20,830 --> 00:41:25,904
Right, then. Spice Girls,
regimental chant!

623
00:42:02,390 --> 00:42:06,508
Get in there!
Where are you going?

624
00:42:06,550 --> 00:42:08,222
Get out of those tubes!

625
00:42:08,270 --> 00:42:11,148
Up that ramp!
Hold that rope!

626
00:42:17,990 --> 00:42:19,946
That is not correct!

627
00:42:19,990 --> 00:42:21,901
I'll give you not correct.

628
00:42:21,950 --> 00:42:23,747
- No, I...
- Get him!

629
00:42:25,950 --> 00:42:28,783
- Shoo-tanoo...
- I'll give you shoo-tanoo!

630
00:42:31,111 --> 00:42:32,510
Lights out!

631
00:42:32,551 --> 00:42:34,940
It's not even dark yet.

632
00:42:34,991 --> 00:42:36,822
And you, Melanie.

633
00:43:52,151 --> 00:43:56,190
It's pathetic that we can't
even sleep in our own rooms.

634
00:43:56,231 --> 00:43:59,507
What are we making such a fuss?
It's only an old house.

635
00:43:59,551 --> 00:44:01,587
A big old house.

636
00:44:01,631 --> 00:44:05,783
A big, very old,
haunted, big, old house.

637
00:44:05,831 --> 00:44:08,026
I had this horrible
dream last night.

638
00:44:08,071 --> 00:44:11,620
We were doing the live show,
and I went on stage.

639
00:44:11,671 --> 00:44:15,061
I was just about to open my gob,
and nowt came out.

640
00:44:15,111 --> 00:44:16,988
But something
even more weird happened.

641
00:44:17,031 --> 00:44:19,420
- You didn't have a head?
- Yeah. How did you know?

642
00:44:19,471 --> 00:44:22,941
- I had exactly the same dream.
- No way. No.

643
00:44:22,991 --> 00:44:26,381
I had exactly the same dream,
but much worse.

644
00:44:26,431 --> 00:44:29,980
You see, I had a head,
but with no make-up.

645
00:44:30,031 --> 00:44:31,259
Oh, no.

646
00:44:31,311 --> 00:44:34,109
I don't understand.
What does it mean?

647
00:44:34,151 --> 00:44:36,028
Probably our subconscious minds,

648
00:44:36,071 --> 00:44:39,029
so we don't have to deal with
our anxieties when we're awake.

649
00:44:39,071 --> 00:44:41,869
Like we'll be scared
of this live show.

650
00:44:41,911 --> 00:44:44,505
And that we won't
be able to sing.

651
00:44:44,551 --> 00:44:47,270
And it's gonna be
a complete disaster.

652
00:44:47,351 --> 00:44:48,625
Oh, no.

653
00:44:48,671 --> 00:44:50,946
Let's just stay here together.

654
00:44:50,991 --> 00:44:54,028
Squash up.
I'm going to sleep now.

655
00:44:56,911 --> 00:44:58,981
I really hate you, McMaxford!

656
00:45:03,391 --> 00:45:05,188
I hate you!

657
00:45:12,231 --> 00:45:13,630
Look at that!

658
00:45:13,671 --> 00:45:15,582
Look at that! More stories!

659
00:45:15,631 --> 00:45:17,223
More evil harpoons
from the press!

660
00:45:17,271 --> 00:45:19,307
I wouldn't let it bother you.

661
00:45:19,351 --> 00:45:21,342
Chill out.
What's wrong with you?

662
00:45:21,391 --> 00:45:23,188
The press can just flick off.

663
00:45:23,231 --> 00:45:25,665
Makes me want to
strangle something.

664
00:45:25,711 --> 00:45:29,863
If we took any notice of that
press, we'd go mad like you.

665
00:45:29,911 --> 00:45:32,300
"I just can't take any more."

666
00:45:32,351 --> 00:45:35,070
"It's all lies!
I'm not like that!"

667
00:45:35,111 --> 00:45:37,181
"Bring me a straitjacket!"

668
00:45:37,231 --> 00:45:39,791
Yes, you can laugh!

669
00:45:45,551 --> 00:45:48,349
He's so uptight.
He's gonna have a heart attack.

670
00:45:48,391 --> 00:45:51,030
Maybe he's not getting
enough nookie.

671
00:45:51,071 --> 00:45:52,106
Could be.

672
00:45:52,151 --> 00:45:54,540
It would be perfect
if he fancied Deborah.

673
00:45:54,591 --> 00:45:56,104
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

674
00:45:56,151 --> 00:45:58,381
I reckon he's got
a chance with her.

675
00:45:58,431 --> 00:46:00,626
She hasn't had
a boyfriend in six months.

676
00:46:00,671 --> 00:46:02,150
No. He doesn't fancy her.

677
00:46:02,191 --> 00:46:03,783
He doesn't look at her
when he's talking to her.

678
00:46:03,831 --> 00:46:06,789
That doesn't matter.
You know what men are like.

679
00:46:06,831 --> 00:46:08,583
They don't like showing
their emotions.

680
00:46:08,631 --> 00:46:12,226
There's these animals
in the jungle or rainforest.

681
00:46:12,271 --> 00:46:15,900
When the male is courting
the female, he pees on her.

682
00:46:17,111 --> 00:46:18,624
Geri, do you have to?

683
00:46:18,671 --> 00:46:22,186
It's his way of showing
that he fancies her.

684
00:46:22,231 --> 00:46:24,108
And afterwards they mate.

685
00:46:25,671 --> 00:46:28,583
Call me old-fashioned,
but I prefer flowers.

686
00:46:32,271 --> 00:46:34,831
OK, baby, here's where
we get high-concept.

687
00:46:34,871 --> 00:46:35,940
Eight miles high.

688
00:46:35,991 --> 00:46:38,630
An Air Force
Stealth bomber is hijacked

689
00:46:38,671 --> 00:46:40,502
by extraterrestrial terrorists.

690
00:46:40,551 --> 00:46:43,384
Inside the pilot's pocket
is a computer disk

691
00:46:43,431 --> 00:46:46,264
with a virus encoded on it
that is so deadly,

692
00:46:46,311 --> 00:46:47,869
it could destroy the world.

693
00:46:47,911 --> 00:46:50,744
The prime minister
has no choice.

694
00:46:50,791 --> 00:46:53,589
He has to call in
the Spice Force Five.

695
00:46:57,992 --> 00:47:00,062
Can you see the merchandising?
Action figures?

696
00:47:00,112 --> 00:47:03,104
Crack operatives in their own
field, a martial arts expert...

697
00:47:15,232 --> 00:47:16,631
Counter-espionage agent...

698
00:47:24,312 --> 00:47:25,427
explosives expert...

699
00:47:32,432 --> 00:47:33,501
The master of disguise...

700
00:47:47,712 --> 00:47:51,671
Girl Power.
Equalisation between the sexes.

701
00:47:51,712 --> 00:47:54,545
And...ohh...Victoria.

702
00:48:01,432 --> 00:48:04,902
- Then what? Back to reality?
- Absolutely.

703
00:48:04,952 --> 00:48:07,182
Hey, yeah. Yeah. Why not?

704
00:48:08,392 --> 00:48:14,547
What...kind of reality
are you interested in? I'm open.

705
00:48:14,592 --> 00:48:16,389
Competition winners.

706
00:48:16,432 --> 00:48:20,471
The chance to make those fantasy
figures become a reality.

707
00:48:20,512 --> 00:48:24,664
Dreams come true.
The stuff of fairy tales.

708
00:48:24,712 --> 00:48:28,990
How's it feel to have won
the trip with the Spice Girls?

709
00:48:29,032 --> 00:48:30,260
It's great.

710
00:48:30,312 --> 00:48:32,667
I expect your friends
are really jealous.

711
00:48:32,712 --> 00:48:34,748
- Yes.
- I'm sure they are.

712
00:48:34,792 --> 00:48:35,747
I love you, Victoria!

713
00:48:35,792 --> 00:48:36,986
How's that sound? A bit noisy?

714
00:48:37,032 --> 00:48:38,829
Planes, dogs, traffic.

715
00:48:38,872 --> 00:48:42,387
We won't be using
this bit anyway. Come on.

716
00:48:42,432 --> 00:48:45,185
I hate that. Can't get
a word in edgewise.

717
00:48:45,232 --> 00:48:47,541
They treat us like bloody kids.

718
00:48:47,592 --> 00:48:49,981
Welcome to the Spicebus.

719
00:48:50,032 --> 00:48:51,784
Cool.

720
00:48:51,832 --> 00:48:53,151
Girls, competition winners.

721
00:48:53,192 --> 00:48:54,261
- Hello!
- Hello!

722
00:48:54,352 --> 00:48:56,820
Balloons, cakes,
sandwiches. Fun, fun.

723
00:48:56,872 --> 00:48:58,590
Do you want a Polaroid?

724
00:48:58,632 --> 00:49:02,386
Jack and Evie, isn't it?
Do you want something to eat?

725
00:49:02,432 --> 00:49:05,026
Why are there
fish paste sarnies at parties?

726
00:49:05,072 --> 00:49:07,427
- No one likes them.
- I know.

727
00:49:07,472 --> 00:49:09,940
Must be great
being a Spice Girl.

728
00:49:09,992 --> 00:49:11,186
It's really good. Yeah.

729
00:49:11,232 --> 00:49:14,144
Be even better without
our fascist slave driver

730
00:49:14,192 --> 00:49:15,910
bossing us about!

731
00:49:17,112 --> 00:49:19,421
Let's escape from this place!

732
00:49:19,472 --> 00:49:22,032
Don't worry.
She does this all the time.

733
00:49:22,072 --> 00:49:26,145
She is mad.

734
00:49:26,192 --> 00:49:29,423
When I say "Go," we go.

735
00:49:30,872 --> 00:49:33,067
- Go!
- Grab some crisps!

736
00:49:33,112 --> 00:49:34,864
- Let's go!
- Where are we going?

737
00:49:34,912 --> 00:49:36,470
Just go with the flow!

738
00:49:36,512 --> 00:49:37,911
Take it easy, girls.

739
00:49:37,952 --> 00:49:40,625
- Where are they going?
- They're being spontaneous.

740
00:49:40,672 --> 00:49:43,584
If they want to be spontaneous,

741
00:49:43,632 --> 00:49:45,907
they have to clear it
with me first.

742
00:49:47,712 --> 00:49:49,031
Come on. Let's go!

743
00:49:49,072 --> 00:49:51,347
Can we have a ride on your boat?

744
00:49:51,392 --> 00:49:54,270
There's an aquatic
adventure happening here.

745
00:49:55,792 --> 00:49:58,784
We need a really
serious speedboat.

746
00:49:58,832 --> 00:50:01,983
- Dennis, follow them!
- I'm on a trail, Clifford.

747
00:50:18,072 --> 00:50:19,551
The Spice Girls at sea.

748
00:50:19,592 --> 00:50:21,344
What an extraordinary
combination

749
00:50:21,392 --> 00:50:24,065
of Girl Power and horsepower.

750
00:50:24,112 --> 00:50:26,342
Can't this thing go any faster?

751
00:50:28,632 --> 00:50:30,668
Avanti!

752
00:50:43,672 --> 00:50:47,347
Deborah, can you please explain
what the hell is going on here?

753
00:50:47,392 --> 00:50:50,543
They're just having fun.
You know, rock 'n' roll.

754
00:50:50,592 --> 00:50:53,186
Rock 'n' roll is
getting off your face

755
00:50:53,232 --> 00:50:56,861
and throwing TVs out of windows.
I don't remember boats.

756
00:50:59,312 --> 00:51:02,270
They're dancing.
Can we have them dancing?

757
00:51:02,312 --> 00:51:03,427
I hear singing.

758
00:51:03,472 --> 00:51:06,032
Can you get
what they're singing?

759
00:51:06,072 --> 00:51:08,381
Don't you remember being a kid?

760
00:51:08,432 --> 00:51:09,626
What?

761
00:51:09,672 --> 00:51:12,789
Falling over in the playground,
scraping your knees.

762
00:51:12,832 --> 00:51:15,346
Deborah, what planet
are you from?

763
00:51:16,952 --> 00:51:18,101
Hold on!

764
00:51:18,152 --> 00:51:19,790
Water on the lens.

765
00:51:24,432 --> 00:51:25,626
Here they come.

766
00:51:29,632 --> 00:51:30,621
Stop!

767
00:51:32,952 --> 00:51:35,102
Stop!

768
00:51:38,752 --> 00:51:40,344
Oh, my...

769
00:51:40,392 --> 00:51:44,180
A child in the water!
I want a close-up!

770
00:51:44,232 --> 00:51:46,507
- All I get is you shouting.
- Shush, then!

771
00:51:46,552 --> 00:51:48,508
Turn it round! Quick!

772
00:51:48,552 --> 00:51:50,827
Don't worry! I'll save them!

773
00:51:52,912 --> 00:51:54,948
At last, a real drama!
Oof! Sorry!

774
00:51:54,992 --> 00:51:57,142
Get off! I'm filming.

775
00:51:58,752 --> 00:52:00,902
I got a loud splash, Piers.

776
00:52:02,392 --> 00:52:03,586
Just great!

777
00:52:03,632 --> 00:52:06,908
Parents lend us their kids,
and we drown them!

778
00:52:06,952 --> 00:52:09,671
- Wow, that was brilliant!
- Yeah, wicked!

779
00:52:09,712 --> 00:52:11,703
That was not
supposed to happen!

780
00:52:11,752 --> 00:52:13,583
- You OK?
- We're fine.

781
00:52:13,632 --> 00:52:16,669
You mean I got wet for nothing?

782
00:52:16,712 --> 00:52:18,430
- Help!
- What?

783
00:52:18,472 --> 00:52:20,906
This dress is
dryclean only, Melanie!

784
00:52:20,952 --> 00:52:23,386
Are there sharks in the Thames?

785
00:52:23,432 --> 00:52:24,342
Shut up.

786
00:52:24,392 --> 00:52:25,586
They're coming!

787
00:52:28,872 --> 00:52:30,908
Whose idea was this?

788
00:52:30,952 --> 00:52:32,465
- Yours.
- Yours.

789
00:52:32,512 --> 00:52:34,343
Can we do it again?

790
00:52:37,632 --> 00:52:40,465
- Do you want to wear this?
- I'm not that desperate.

791
00:52:41,712 --> 00:52:44,909
- Easy! Easy!
- Are you all right?

792
00:52:47,912 --> 00:52:51,348
Do you realise what'll happen
if this gets out?

793
00:53:09,392 --> 00:53:12,190
And more drama concerning
the Spice Girls.

794
00:53:12,232 --> 00:53:14,427
Today, two young
competition winners

795
00:53:14,472 --> 00:53:16,269
had a dramatic escape
when they fell

796
00:53:16,312 --> 00:53:18,462
from a speeding boat
on the River Thames.

797
00:53:18,512 --> 00:53:20,503
This report from James Platt.

798
00:53:20,552 --> 00:53:23,146
Would you like a rescue remedy?

799
00:53:23,192 --> 00:53:25,148
It's time for a chat.

800
00:53:31,592 --> 00:53:33,025
Look at this!

801
00:53:33,072 --> 00:53:34,949
Front page news again.

802
00:53:34,992 --> 00:53:37,062
Suppose you had been drowned?

803
00:53:37,112 --> 00:53:39,546
- We weren't.
- Speak for yourself.

804
00:53:39,592 --> 00:53:41,230
What do you think you're doing?

805
00:53:41,272 --> 00:53:43,991
- We were just having fun.
- What?

806
00:53:44,032 --> 00:53:46,990
You know, fun,
like ha-ha-ha-ha-ha?

807
00:53:47,032 --> 00:53:50,547
We're old enough to be
responsible for our own lives.

808
00:53:50,592 --> 00:53:53,186
You don't have a life.
You have a schedule.

809
00:53:53,232 --> 00:53:56,030
You are part of
a well-oiled global machine.

810
00:53:56,072 --> 00:53:58,108
People are working
their butts off for you.

811
00:53:58,152 --> 00:54:00,586
- People like Deborah.
- Leave my butt out of this.

812
00:54:00,632 --> 00:54:03,021
Just don't be so
uptight, Clifford.

813
00:54:03,072 --> 00:54:06,382
Uptight?! You've got
a live gig here tomorrow.

814
00:54:06,432 --> 00:54:10,983
It's my job to see you turn up.
My bum is on the line!

815
00:54:11,032 --> 00:54:15,264
Could you please leave butts
and bums out of this?

816
00:54:15,312 --> 00:54:17,746
Some things are more
important than gigs.

817
00:54:17,792 --> 00:54:21,751
- Like what?
- Self-respect and our freedom.

818
00:54:21,792 --> 00:54:23,384
And friendship.

819
00:54:23,432 --> 00:54:26,424
What are you saying? You
don't want to turn up tomorrow?

820
00:54:26,472 --> 00:54:27,666
Maybe we don't!

821
00:54:29,592 --> 00:54:32,345
- Why did you say that?
- I don't know.

822
00:54:32,392 --> 00:54:37,864
Listen, it's up to us whether
we turn up or not tomorrow.

823
00:54:37,912 --> 00:54:39,823
OK. Stay at home.

824
00:54:39,872 --> 00:54:41,544
That's fine.

825
00:54:41,592 --> 00:54:43,583
- Fine!
- What about the fans?

826
00:54:43,632 --> 00:54:46,021
- We can't let them down!
- He didn't mean that.

827
00:54:46,072 --> 00:54:47,869
Didn't I?

828
00:54:47,912 --> 00:54:49,425
Please stop arguing!

829
00:54:49,472 --> 00:54:52,509
When you know exactly
what is happening,

830
00:54:52,552 --> 00:54:55,544
could somebody
please let me know?

831
00:54:55,592 --> 00:55:00,712
- Now look what you've done!
- That's just too bad.

832
00:55:00,752 --> 00:55:02,549
Yeah, 'cause you know what?

833
00:55:02,592 --> 00:55:05,470
- I'm going home now. See ya.
- Bye.

834
00:55:05,512 --> 00:55:08,584
Could we just stop this?
It's doing my head in!

835
00:55:12,792 --> 00:55:14,862
I hope you know
what you're doing!

836
00:55:14,912 --> 00:55:17,551
If you want a fight,
you're gonna lose.

837
00:55:19,072 --> 00:55:22,860
So, what do you think?
No, I don't want to hear it.

838
00:55:22,912 --> 00:55:24,186
What do you think?

839
00:55:24,232 --> 00:55:27,065
I think you definitely,
definitely lost.

840
00:55:27,112 --> 00:55:28,909
I think...

841
00:55:28,952 --> 00:55:32,945
I may have started
the break-up of the Spice Girls.

842
00:55:44,032 --> 00:55:46,227
It's fine, Chief.
Everything's fine.

843
00:55:46,272 --> 00:55:48,911
- Oh, no, it isn't.
- No, it isn't.

844
00:55:48,952 --> 00:55:50,670
How bad is it?

845
00:55:50,712 --> 00:55:53,306
Imagine how bad
it could possibly be.

846
00:55:53,352 --> 00:55:56,264
- Yes?
- Well, it's worse than that.

847
00:55:56,312 --> 00:55:58,462
- Oh, dear.
- Don't get upset, Chief.

848
00:55:58,512 --> 00:56:01,982
- Oh, dearie me.
- You're getting emotional.

849
00:56:02,032 --> 00:56:07,664
The show will go on, even if
I have to round up four friends

850
00:56:07,712 --> 00:56:10,101
and personally dress up
as Victoria.

851
00:56:10,152 --> 00:56:15,067
- May it not come to that.
- I won't let you down.

852
00:56:15,112 --> 00:56:18,787
The headless chicken
can only know where he's been.

853
00:56:18,832 --> 00:56:21,744
He cannot see
where he is going.

854
00:56:23,512 --> 00:56:26,470
Do not be that chicken,
Clifford.

855
00:56:28,512 --> 00:56:30,264
Chicken. Right.

856
00:56:34,152 --> 00:56:37,986
The girls have had a row
with Clifford.

857
00:56:38,032 --> 00:56:41,820
They might not turn up
for the show.

858
00:56:41,872 --> 00:56:44,306
Something strange is happening.

859
00:56:46,192 --> 00:56:48,581
What is it?

860
00:56:48,632 --> 00:56:51,430
Something's happening
to my face.

861
00:56:51,472 --> 00:56:53,622
I...I think you're smiling.

862
00:57:20,752 --> 00:57:24,267
A very long time ago.

863
00:57:27,032 --> 00:57:28,829
Thanks, Brian.

864
00:57:28,872 --> 00:57:34,868
There we go, girls.
That's six coffees. £1.50.

865
00:57:34,912 --> 00:57:37,904
- Put in on the slate, please.
- What slate?

866
00:57:37,952 --> 00:57:40,147
The we'll-pay-you-
when-we're-rich slate.

867
00:57:40,192 --> 00:57:43,025
Call me old-fashioned, but...no.

868
00:57:43,072 --> 00:57:47,270
- I'm not the Salvation Army?
- It was worth a try.

869
00:57:47,312 --> 00:57:49,985
How's the career going?

870
00:57:50,032 --> 00:57:52,785
We've got this new song.

871
00:57:52,832 --> 00:57:57,144
What is it?
Flip-flop or hip-hop? Funk?

872
00:57:57,192 --> 00:58:00,184
Where've you been
for the last 10 years?

873
00:58:00,232 --> 00:58:03,463
Well, I don't know
the music scene now.

874
00:58:03,512 --> 00:58:06,106
Anything goes these days.

875
00:58:06,152 --> 00:58:10,509
I'm a jazz man,
and jazz is due for a comeback.

876
00:58:10,552 --> 00:58:14,147
They've got this great song.
Do it for him.

877
00:58:14,192 --> 00:58:17,946
- Nah. He's not interested.
- 'Course he is! Aren't you?

878
00:58:17,992 --> 00:58:21,587
Yes, you are.
Sit down and listen.

879
00:58:21,632 --> 00:59:57,068
Let's do it!

880
00:59:57,112 --> 00:59:58,704
What do you think?

881
00:59:58,752 --> 01:00:01,983
Not bad.
Just needs a bit more jazz.

882
01:00:02,032 --> 01:00:03,351
Wicked!

883
01:00:03,392 --> 01:00:06,111
- It'll make the top 20!
- Wicked!

884
01:00:06,152 --> 01:00:09,747
It's great! I love it!

885
01:00:25,232 --> 01:00:27,951
- It's so sad.
- That's what I was thinking.

886
01:00:27,992 --> 01:00:30,222
We used to live in there.

887
01:00:33,072 --> 01:00:35,506
- What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?

888
01:00:35,552 --> 01:00:37,782
Same as you.

889
01:00:37,832 --> 01:00:41,268
This seems like
ages ago, doesn't it?

890
01:00:41,312 --> 01:00:44,748
It just shows you.
You can't go back.

891
01:00:44,792 --> 01:00:46,464
I wonder
what happened to Brian.

892
01:00:46,512 --> 01:00:49,902
We owe him
for a couple of coffees.

893
01:00:49,952 --> 01:00:51,783
Let's go get some chips.

894
01:00:52,952 --> 01:00:55,022
Bacon butties for me.

895
01:00:55,072 --> 01:00:57,108
You don't care what you eat.

896
01:00:57,152 --> 01:00:58,824
No, I don't.

897
01:00:58,872 --> 01:01:02,945
I wonder if we've changed
since we've been famous?

898
01:01:02,992 --> 01:01:05,062
I don't think I have.

899
01:01:05,112 --> 01:01:06,545
Nor have I.

900
01:01:06,592 --> 01:01:08,423
We worry about different things.

901
01:01:08,472 --> 01:01:11,589
Then it was, "Where's
our next meal coming from?"

902
01:01:11,632 --> 01:01:15,591
Now it's, "Where's
our next single going to?"

903
01:01:15,632 --> 01:01:17,827
And, "Is it over soon?"

904
01:01:18,792 --> 01:01:21,943
Melvin B, Emma, Melvin C,

905
01:01:21,992 --> 01:01:24,904
Victoria, Geri...

906
01:01:24,952 --> 01:01:27,466
You are guilty
of releasing a single

907
01:01:27,512 --> 01:01:30,982
that is not as kicking
as your previous records,

908
01:01:31,032 --> 01:01:34,911
nor does it have
such a wicked bass line.

909
01:01:34,952 --> 01:01:37,944
You are sentenced
to having your next record

910
01:01:37,992 --> 01:01:40,381
enter the charts at number 179

911
01:01:40,432 --> 01:01:42,707
before dropping
out the following week.

912
01:01:42,752 --> 01:01:44,310
What?

913
01:01:44,352 --> 01:01:47,344
Furthermore,
you are sentenced to 20 years

914
01:01:47,392 --> 01:01:51,067
of having to appear
on chat shows in Taiwan

915
01:01:51,112 --> 01:01:54,070
talking about how
you used to be famous.

916
01:01:54,112 --> 01:01:58,344
May God have mercy
on your lip gloss.

917
01:01:59,792 --> 01:02:01,987
Call Gary Barlow.

918
01:02:02,032 --> 01:02:04,990
We haven't got time
for our friends anymore.

919
01:02:05,032 --> 01:02:06,943
Like Nicola.

920
01:02:06,992 --> 01:02:09,711
We're supposed to be
godmothers to her baby.

921
01:02:09,752 --> 01:02:11,743
We haven't spent
any time with her.

922
01:02:11,792 --> 01:02:13,669
Why don't we
take her out tonight?

923
01:02:13,712 --> 01:02:15,987
Yeah! And go really mental!

924
01:02:16,032 --> 01:02:17,351
Yeah!

925
01:02:17,392 --> 01:02:21,385
We have a show tomorrow.
What are we doing about that?

926
01:02:21,432 --> 01:02:24,663
If Clifford finds out
he'll go beserk.

927
01:02:28,912 --> 01:02:30,823
What are we waiting for?

928
01:02:30,872 --> 01:02:33,670
- Yeah!
- Come on!

929
01:02:33,712 --> 01:02:38,786
- Come on, Vicky!
- I can't run in these heels.

930
01:02:49,392 --> 01:02:51,781
Thought I'd find you here.

931
01:02:51,832 --> 01:02:55,711
Sorry, there's only room for
one depressed personality here.

932
01:02:55,752 --> 01:02:58,391
At least you're still alive.

933
01:02:58,432 --> 01:03:00,787
That's the bit
that depresses me.

934
01:03:00,832 --> 01:03:04,791
I've got a degree in politics,
philosophy, and economics,

935
01:03:04,832 --> 01:03:08,108
and I spend my life
worrying whether Mel C

936
01:03:08,152 --> 01:03:10,620
is wearing
the right Nike Air Max.

937
01:03:10,672 --> 01:03:14,028
- Did you sort them out?
- Yes.

938
01:03:15,432 --> 01:03:19,710
Mind you, I'd rather be us
than the girls. Fame is...

939
01:03:19,752 --> 01:03:21,868
Fame is a fickle thing.

940
01:03:22,472 --> 01:03:23,985
What can I get you?

941
01:03:24,032 --> 01:03:25,545
Gin and tonic, please.

942
01:03:27,832 --> 01:03:31,825
Just a minute.
Can you make that a double?

943
01:03:31,872 --> 01:03:32,987
Yes.

944
01:03:34,672 --> 01:03:37,869
- You know what happens now?
- What's that?

945
01:03:37,912 --> 01:03:40,380
We'll sit here
and get self-pitying,

946
01:03:40,432 --> 01:03:43,185
telling each other
tales of lost lovers,

947
01:03:43,232 --> 01:03:46,668
then deaden the pain
with a night of passion

948
01:03:46,712 --> 01:03:50,182
and end up ruining
our professional relationship.

949
01:03:52,432 --> 01:03:56,061
Well, I'm up for it if you are.

950
01:03:57,832 --> 01:04:00,062
Time, ladies and gentlemen.

951
01:04:09,352 --> 01:04:10,910
I hope Bob's here!

952
01:04:16,152 --> 01:04:18,029
You all right, Nicola?

953
01:04:18,072 --> 01:04:20,711
Fine. I won't be
going out for a while,

954
01:04:20,752 --> 01:04:22,947
so I'm going to enjoy it.

955
01:04:22,992 --> 01:04:26,223
- I love this song!
- That's because we wrote it!

956
01:04:26,272 --> 01:04:29,787
- Let's go and dance.
- No, I'll watch you.

957
01:04:29,832 --> 01:04:31,311
Take care, Nicola.

958
01:04:31,352 --> 01:04:32,307
See you later.

959
01:04:40,352 --> 01:04:44,504
Could somebody please tell me
what the dress code is here?

960
01:06:08,192 --> 01:06:11,184
- Excuse me!
- Excuse me! Sorry.

961
01:06:11,232 --> 01:06:14,110
Can we sit down, please?

962
01:06:14,152 --> 01:06:16,427
I think the contractions
have started.

963
01:06:16,472 --> 01:06:17,700
Maybe it's something you ate.

964
01:06:17,752 --> 01:06:19,982
I don't remember
swallowing a baby.

965
01:06:20,032 --> 01:06:22,182
The baby's coming. Don't panic.

966
01:06:22,232 --> 01:06:24,951
- Don't panic.
- I'm not panicking.

967
01:06:24,992 --> 01:06:27,062
What do you do
in an emergency?

968
01:06:27,112 --> 01:06:29,751
- Call my mum!
- We need an ambulance!

969
01:06:29,792 --> 01:06:32,625
- There's not enough time.
- We don't need an ambulance!

970
01:06:32,672 --> 01:06:35,709
Dennis! We've got
to get to the hospital!

971
01:06:38,272 --> 01:06:40,832
- All of you?
- Just get there!

972
01:06:40,872 --> 01:06:44,069
Move 'em in.
We're gonna hit the trail.

973
01:06:47,512 --> 01:06:50,151
- Ooh, that was a contraction.
- Cuddle.

974
01:06:50,192 --> 01:06:52,342
Deep breathing.
That's the thing.

975
01:06:54,792 --> 01:06:56,623
Not you, Victoria. Her!

976
01:06:56,672 --> 01:06:58,947
Does anybody know
how to deliver a baby?

977
01:06:58,992 --> 01:07:01,870
- Don't look at me!
- I know all about delivery.

978
01:07:01,912 --> 01:07:04,472
- Yeah, right.
- I read it in a book.

979
01:07:04,512 --> 01:07:07,310
First...put your legs together.

980
01:07:07,352 --> 01:07:09,820
She should have
done that 9 months ago.

981
01:07:09,872 --> 01:07:12,909
- Don't make me laugh, please.
- Do not make her laugh,

982
01:07:12,952 --> 01:07:14,988
it'll shoot out
like a cannonball.

983
01:07:15,032 --> 01:07:18,866
Seriously, what if
the baby comes out right now?

984
01:07:18,912 --> 01:07:22,109
It's not gonna go far.
She's still got her tights on.

985
01:07:22,152 --> 01:07:24,427
Stay there.
We're not ready for you.

986
01:07:28,112 --> 01:07:31,149
- That's it! Push!
- I am pushing!

987
01:07:31,192 --> 01:07:33,865
- Should she be pushing?
- What else can she do?

988
01:07:33,912 --> 01:07:35,664
I'll turn myself inside out!

989
01:07:35,712 --> 01:07:37,862
- What's going on?
- She's pushing!

990
01:07:37,912 --> 01:07:39,789
How dilated is she?

991
01:07:39,832 --> 01:07:42,187
Not very. She only had one gin.

992
01:07:42,232 --> 01:07:46,145
Calm down. This is going
to take a long time.

993
01:07:48,152 --> 01:07:49,631
Oh, that's nice.

994
01:07:49,672 --> 01:07:51,628
It's all right. We're here.

995
01:07:57,232 --> 01:07:59,382
That's catchy.

996
01:08:00,352 --> 01:08:02,912
Excuse me?
Are you the Spice Girls?

997
01:08:02,952 --> 01:08:04,431
Some of them.

998
01:08:04,472 --> 01:08:06,383
My son's unconscious.

999
01:08:06,432 --> 01:08:09,390
Could you talk to him,
try and wake him up?

1000
01:08:09,432 --> 01:08:12,230
- We can do that, can't we?
- Sorry about this.

1001
01:08:17,392 --> 01:08:21,021
Malcolm, the Spice Girls
have come to talk to you!

1002
01:08:21,072 --> 01:08:24,826
- Hello, Malcolm. It's Geri.
- And Melanie C.

1003
01:08:24,872 --> 01:08:27,261
And I'm Victoria, Malcolm!

1004
01:08:27,312 --> 01:08:29,030
Shh. Stop it.

1005
01:08:29,072 --> 01:08:31,632
What should we do now?

1006
01:08:31,672 --> 01:08:35,711
- Maybe just talk to him.
- What are we gonna say?

1007
01:08:35,752 --> 01:08:37,982
You could take
your top off, Geri.

1008
01:08:38,032 --> 01:08:41,945
- Shut up!
- Just a joke.

1009
01:08:41,992 --> 01:08:44,665
Anyway, he's got his eyes shut.

1010
01:08:45,752 --> 01:08:46,821
Not now.

1011
01:08:59,632 --> 01:09:02,908
- How are you feeling?
- Bad. Where are the girls?

1012
01:09:02,952 --> 01:09:06,422
I don't know. I have no idea.

1013
01:09:08,632 --> 01:09:10,987
How about trying to find out?

1014
01:09:11,032 --> 01:09:14,342
Come on. Chop-chop. Hurry it up.

1015
01:09:14,392 --> 01:09:17,350
Amazing how much pain
mothers have to suffer.

1016
01:09:17,392 --> 01:09:20,429
No wonder my mum thinks
I'm so ungrateful.

1017
01:09:20,472 --> 01:09:22,747
It's like passing a football.

1018
01:09:22,792 --> 01:09:27,547
My mum says it was like passing
a block of flats with balconies.

1019
01:09:28,712 --> 01:09:32,864
Hello? Hi, Deborah.
We're in hospital.

1020
01:09:32,912 --> 01:09:35,790
No, we're fine.
Nicola's having a baby.

1021
01:09:35,832 --> 01:09:37,231
We can't leave her.

1022
01:09:38,312 --> 01:09:40,780
Oh, no. I've got to go. Bye.

1023
01:09:40,832 --> 01:09:46,384
I can't believe it. They're
waiting for a friend's baby?

1024
01:09:46,432 --> 01:09:49,583
- It's called loyalty.
- No, it's called insanity.

1025
01:09:49,632 --> 01:09:54,308
The world is waiting for this
show and they're not here.

1026
01:09:54,352 --> 01:09:58,550
They're doing it to spite me.
They're trying to make me crack.

1027
01:09:58,632 --> 01:10:00,429
But I won't.

1028
01:10:02,312 --> 01:10:03,825
I won't.

1029
01:10:03,872 --> 01:10:08,821
I spy with my bionic eye
something beginning with "H".

1030
01:10:08,872 --> 01:10:10,271
Hospital.

1031
01:10:10,312 --> 01:10:13,224
Shut up, Geri.

1032
01:10:13,272 --> 01:10:16,025
I'm off-duty now.
Everything all right?

1033
01:10:16,072 --> 01:10:18,028
Fine. Doing anything
nice tonight?

1034
01:10:18,072 --> 01:10:20,711
I'm going to see
the Spice Girls' show.

1035
01:10:20,752 --> 01:10:22,310
I'd better get a move on.

1036
01:10:22,352 --> 01:10:25,025
See you all later...
hopefully.

1037
01:10:28,392 --> 01:10:32,749
Listen, this is silly.
Don't wait for me. Go.

1038
01:10:32,792 --> 01:10:36,421
Nicola, we said we'd stay,
so we're gonna stay.

1039
01:10:38,112 --> 01:10:40,148
- I think this is it.
- Yeah, it is.

1040
01:10:41,632 --> 01:10:45,022
Push down, Nicola. Very good.

1041
01:10:45,072 --> 01:10:48,303
Hi, Clifford. No, I don't
know when we'll be there.

1042
01:10:48,352 --> 01:10:51,583
This is more important.
It's about friendship.

1043
01:10:51,632 --> 01:10:53,543
But you wouldn't
know about that.

1044
01:10:53,592 --> 01:10:55,901
I'll speak to you later. Bye.

1045
01:10:55,952 --> 01:11:01,072
It can't take THIS long to have
a baby! This is the nineties!

1046
01:11:01,112 --> 01:11:03,910
He's about to
crack up any moment.

1047
01:11:03,952 --> 01:11:06,386
The sense of tension,
of impending doom.

1048
01:11:06,432 --> 01:11:09,708
Are you getting that sweat
on his upper lip?

1049
01:11:09,752 --> 01:11:11,265
That's beautiful.

1050
01:11:12,992 --> 01:11:15,665
Clifford,
have you got 5 minutes?

1051
01:11:15,712 --> 01:11:18,067
Seeing as there's nothing
else going around here - 5!

1052
01:11:18,112 --> 01:11:20,626
Graydon, fetch!

1053
01:11:20,672 --> 01:11:22,230
OK, here's the story!

1054
01:11:22,272 --> 01:11:24,069
It's the girls'
first live performance.

1055
01:11:24,112 --> 01:11:25,670
They are...

1056
01:11:25,712 --> 01:11:27,748
Only minutes until curtain up.

1057
01:11:27,792 --> 01:11:30,909
Hopes of the Spice Girls'
live triumph are dashed.

1058
01:11:30,952 --> 01:11:34,342
My God! It's coming out!
I think I'm gonna faint.

1059
01:11:34,392 --> 01:11:37,350
- No, you're not!
- Slap me! Oh!

1060
01:11:39,632 --> 01:11:42,749
- It's a beet root!
- It's a girl!

1061
01:11:42,792 --> 01:11:47,912
With arms like that,
she'll make a great goalie.

1062
01:11:47,952 --> 01:11:51,024
Now, that is Girl Power.

1063
01:12:03,192 --> 01:12:04,750
He's got a camera!

1064
01:12:04,792 --> 01:12:06,589
You're that reporter,
aren't you?

1065
01:12:06,632 --> 01:12:08,668
- Emergency!
- Get him, Melanie!

1066
01:12:08,712 --> 01:12:12,785
I'm late for the theatre!
The curtain's gone up!

1067
01:12:15,712 --> 01:12:17,304
He crashes to the ground!

1068
01:12:17,352 --> 01:12:22,142
Now the girls come face to face
with their tabloid tormentor.

1069
01:12:22,192 --> 01:12:24,342
The evil reporter is unmasked,

1070
01:12:24,392 --> 01:12:28,385
and Damien's whole worthless
life flashes before his eyes.

1071
01:12:28,432 --> 01:12:32,471
The girls have made him realise
that he's been living a lie.

1072
01:12:32,512 --> 01:12:34,423
Do you know what?

1073
01:12:34,472 --> 01:12:39,341
You've made me realize I've
been living a meaningless lie.

1074
01:12:39,392 --> 01:12:41,383
It's his character's
one defining moment.

1075
01:12:41,432 --> 01:12:44,310
There isn't a dry seat
in the house.

1076
01:12:44,352 --> 01:12:47,424
- I'm wet already.
- I don't buy it.

1077
01:12:47,472 --> 01:12:49,827
One minute, Damien's
this threatening monster,

1078
01:12:49,872 --> 01:12:51,942
the next, some weeping wimp.

1079
01:12:51,992 --> 01:12:54,347
That's the power of Girl Power.

1080
01:12:54,392 --> 01:12:55,745
- That's the end?
- No.

1081
01:12:55,792 --> 01:12:58,943
Damien goes after
the evil boss, McMaxford.

1082
01:12:59,512 --> 01:13:01,662
"McMaxford sacked
in jacuzzi scandal."

1083
01:13:01,712 --> 01:13:04,351
- What about the girls?
- They must get to Albert Hall.

1084
01:13:04,392 --> 01:13:06,269
They've been at
the hospital for 12 hours.

1085
01:13:07,512 --> 01:13:10,584
I don't believe it!
Just when you need him!

1086
01:13:10,632 --> 01:13:12,987
Now it's a race against time.

1087
01:13:13,032 --> 01:13:15,148
- A chase?
- Those are the rules.

1088
01:13:15,192 --> 01:13:18,184
- Out of the way, girls.
- What are you doing?

1089
01:13:18,232 --> 01:13:19,950
Fasten your seat belts!

1090
01:13:23,392 --> 01:13:25,508
Hey! That's my bus!

1091
01:13:26,712 --> 01:13:28,543
What are you doing?!

1092
01:13:28,592 --> 01:13:30,184
Out of the way!

1093
01:13:32,752 --> 01:13:35,061
Come on! What are you doing?

1094
01:13:35,112 --> 01:13:36,511
Are you blind?

1095
01:13:36,552 --> 01:13:38,907
Put your foot down!

1096
01:13:41,112 --> 01:13:43,910
Sunday drivers!
It's only Saturday!

1097
01:13:43,952 --> 01:13:46,864
The Spicebus
is racing across London,

1098
01:13:46,912 --> 01:13:49,221
through Trafalgar square,
pigeons are flying up,

1099
01:13:49,272 --> 01:13:51,024
guys are diving into fountains.

1100
01:13:51,072 --> 01:13:54,303
As it zooms down the mall
past Buckingham palace,

1101
01:13:54,352 --> 01:13:56,229
Prince William's
looking out a curtain.

1102
01:13:56,272 --> 01:13:59,309
He turns to the queen -
the queen, man! - and says,

1103
01:13:59,352 --> 01:14:02,185
"Granny, look!
It's the Spice Girls!

1104
01:14:02,232 --> 01:14:05,542
"They're on telly in a minute!

1105
01:14:05,592 --> 01:14:07,264
"Isn't that
the posh one driving?"

1106
01:14:07,312 --> 01:14:08,540
There's the queen!

1107
01:14:08,592 --> 01:14:11,026
- Hi, William!
- Hi, Charlie!

1108
01:14:11,072 --> 01:14:12,664
Suddenly they're
on top of the bus!

1109
01:14:12,712 --> 01:14:13,906
- Why?
- The rules.

1110
01:14:13,952 --> 01:14:17,831
There they are,
standing in gale force winds,

1111
01:14:17,872 --> 01:14:20,102
holding on for dear life!

1112
01:14:20,152 --> 01:14:22,063
Emma slips, but Geri grabs her!

1113
01:14:22,112 --> 01:14:24,262
Then Geri slips,
so Mel B grabs her.

1114
01:14:24,312 --> 01:14:26,507
Then she slips
so Mel C grabs her!

1115
01:14:26,552 --> 01:14:28,986
Is that 4?
Oh, there's one driving.

1116
01:14:29,032 --> 01:14:32,149
They're on the bus,
whiplashing back and forth,

1117
01:14:32,192 --> 01:14:34,501
about to be turned
into Spice Jam!

1118
01:14:34,552 --> 01:14:36,941
- Oh, my God!
- And?

1119
01:14:36,992 --> 01:14:40,507
Two nuns pull up right in front!

1120
01:14:41,832 --> 01:14:44,710
The braking tumbles
them back inside.

1121
01:14:46,672 --> 01:14:48,071
That was close.

1122
01:14:48,112 --> 01:14:50,831
- Is everyone all right?
- Victoria!

1123
01:14:50,872 --> 01:14:52,624
Sorry!

1124
01:14:52,672 --> 01:14:54,185
They're on the Tower Bridge.

1125
01:14:54,232 --> 01:14:56,826
Your attention, please.

1126
01:14:56,872 --> 01:14:58,464
The bridge will be lifted.

1127
01:14:58,512 --> 01:15:01,663
The road is rising
to let a boat through!

1128
01:15:04,592 --> 01:15:06,025
The bridge is going up!

1129
01:15:06,072 --> 01:15:07,585
They can't believe it!

1130
01:15:07,632 --> 01:15:10,100
My God, I don't believe it!

1131
01:15:10,152 --> 01:15:13,224
Are they crazy enough
to jump the gap?

1132
01:15:16,352 --> 01:15:18,707
Hold on to your knickers, girls!

1133
01:15:18,752 --> 01:15:22,222
Hey, baby, these
are the Spice Girls!

1134
01:15:22,272 --> 01:15:23,785
Of course they're
gonna go for it!

1135
01:15:23,832 --> 01:15:26,790
Up it goes...
a 5-ton London bus

1136
01:15:26,832 --> 01:15:29,062
sailing through the air
at 70 mph!

1137
01:15:29,112 --> 01:15:31,148
- It's incredible!
- It's expensive.

1138
01:15:36,192 --> 01:15:37,261
Not necessarily.

1139
01:15:39,232 --> 01:15:41,905
Just when you think they're
safe, they discover the bomb.

1140
01:15:41,952 --> 01:15:42,907
What bomb?

1141
01:15:45,312 --> 01:15:45,983
That bomb.

1142
01:15:50,352 --> 01:15:52,786
- Why?!
- Those are the rules.

1143
01:15:52,832 --> 01:15:54,470
I've had enough
of the rules!

1144
01:15:54,512 --> 01:15:56,742
Are you trying
to kill them?! No more!

1145
01:15:56,792 --> 01:15:58,623
They've suffered enough! Please!

1146
01:15:58,672 --> 01:16:00,628
All right! All right!

1147
01:16:00,672 --> 01:16:03,186
They run up to the Albert Hall,

1148
01:16:03,232 --> 01:16:05,188
then they hurtle
down the corridor,

1149
01:16:05,232 --> 01:16:07,871
and they burst through
that door right there.

1150
01:16:12,512 --> 01:16:14,423
You lied to me.

1151
01:16:14,472 --> 01:16:16,428
Now, now, hey, now.

1152
01:16:16,472 --> 01:16:18,667
Hey, that's enough of that!

1153
01:16:18,712 --> 01:16:19,861
Where are they?

1154
01:16:20,032 --> 01:16:28,349
I'll re-write it.

1155
01:16:28,392 --> 01:16:32,670
- Quick, we're late!
- Clifford's gonna go mad!

1156
01:16:44,872 --> 01:16:46,066
It's the coppers!

1157
01:16:47,952 --> 01:16:49,829
Stay calm, it'll be all right.

1158
01:16:52,552 --> 01:16:55,749
Is there a problem...Officer?

1159
01:16:55,792 --> 01:16:58,101
Dangerous driving,
criminal damage,

1160
01:16:58,152 --> 01:17:01,986
flying a bus without a license,

1161
01:17:02,032 --> 01:17:03,829
and frightening the pigeons.

1162
01:17:06,552 --> 01:17:10,101
- Go on, Emma. Go.
- What do I say?

1163
01:17:10,152 --> 01:17:11,949
I'm really sorry, Officer.

1164
01:17:11,992 --> 01:17:13,664
We were late for a show,

1165
01:17:13,712 --> 01:17:15,270
so we were in a hurry.
We didn't hurt anybody.

1166
01:17:15,312 --> 01:17:19,305
We're sorry and promise
never, ever to do that again.

1167
01:17:27,432 --> 01:17:29,548
- Should we cut?
- No, no!

1168
01:17:29,592 --> 01:17:31,264
What's the matter with him?

1169
01:17:31,312 --> 01:17:34,270
The very essence
of documentary - silence.

1170
01:17:34,312 --> 01:17:36,906
Silence. This is marvellous.

1171
01:17:41,752 --> 01:17:44,710
This is the plan.
The band starts up,

1172
01:17:44,752 --> 01:17:48,222
the fans go wild,
the lights come on,

1173
01:17:48,272 --> 01:17:51,628
and I walk centre stage
and hang myself.

1174
01:17:52,672 --> 01:17:55,232
By the way,
this is my good side.

1175
01:17:55,272 --> 01:17:58,070
My final words are...

1176
01:17:58,112 --> 01:18:00,580
"The Spice Girls -
I hate them!"

1177
01:18:00,632 --> 01:18:02,782
What are you doing
sitting around?

1178
01:18:02,832 --> 01:18:04,902
- We've got a show to do!
- Let's do it!

1179
01:18:04,952 --> 01:18:07,591
- Where are the mikes?
- Where are the clothes?

1180
01:18:07,632 --> 01:18:10,624
- Where are the bacon butties?
- I love those girls.

1181
01:18:10,672 --> 01:18:11,821
Hiya.

1182
01:18:11,872 --> 01:18:14,386
I love those girls!

1183
01:18:14,432 --> 01:18:17,424
- Damn.
- My arm...

1184
01:18:21,232 --> 01:18:25,225
That's ruined a perfectly good
ending to this documentary.

1185
01:18:27,992 --> 01:18:29,311
Everything's
under control, Chief.

1186
01:18:29,352 --> 01:18:32,742
Then let us enjoy this
triumph while we can,

1187
01:18:32,792 --> 01:18:36,148
before the hounds of catastrophe
break free of their shackles

1188
01:18:36,192 --> 01:18:39,741
and slobber chaos all over
our faces once again.

1189
01:18:39,792 --> 01:18:41,020
Ciao, Chief.

1190
01:18:41,072 --> 01:18:44,064
- What did he say?
- Does it matter?

1191
01:18:44,112 --> 01:18:45,989
When you've
been horrible to someone,

1192
01:18:46,032 --> 01:18:48,023
and you want to make it
all right again...

1193
01:18:48,072 --> 01:18:51,064
- Yeah?
- And you have to say stuff?

1194
01:18:51,112 --> 01:18:53,148
- Apologise?
- That's the one.

1195
01:18:53,192 --> 01:18:56,423
- I want to do that.
- You want to apologise?

1196
01:18:56,472 --> 01:18:57,905
What do you think?

1197
01:18:57,952 --> 01:19:00,068
Do we still have
a professional relationship?

1198
01:19:00,112 --> 01:19:02,421
Of course we do. Why ever not?

1199
01:19:03,192 --> 01:19:04,341
Just a minute!

1200
01:19:06,392 --> 01:19:08,064
I love you.

1201
01:19:08,112 --> 01:19:09,625
Yeah?

1202
01:19:09,672 --> 01:19:13,506
Let's go crazy!
The marvellous Spice Girls!

1203
01:19:48,152 --> 01:19:50,427
- We've got a deal.
- Yes!

1204
01:22:42,432 --> 01:22:44,309
I'm worried about me character.

1205
01:22:44,352 --> 01:22:46,343
It's totally unreal.

1206
01:22:46,392 --> 01:22:48,542
I'm supposed to be the baddie,

1207
01:22:48,592 --> 01:22:50,503
but why do I
hate the Spice Girls?

1208
01:22:50,552 --> 01:22:53,862
- There's no reason.
- He's a caricature.

1209
01:22:53,912 --> 01:22:56,028
Sort of this evil,
grotesque symbol

1210
01:22:56,072 --> 01:22:58,461
about how power
corrupts and perverts.

1211
01:22:58,512 --> 01:23:01,470
But why can't
I have a softer side?

1212
01:23:01,512 --> 01:23:03,070
The kids are gonna hate me.

1213
01:23:03,112 --> 01:23:04,989
They'll attack me in the street.

1214
01:23:05,032 --> 01:23:07,751
As an artiste, a good kicking

1215
01:23:07,792 --> 01:23:11,387
could be the highest
compliment you'll ever get.

1216
01:23:11,432 --> 01:23:14,230
They want me to play
their road manager.

1217
01:23:14,272 --> 01:23:16,263
I'm on a phone getting
angry all the time.

1218
01:23:16,312 --> 01:23:18,587
I don't want to end my career.

1219
01:23:18,632 --> 01:23:21,271
Fat, stupid, lazy -
it's all I get offered.

1220
01:23:21,312 --> 01:23:23,428
The sort people always ignore.

1221
01:23:23,472 --> 01:23:26,270
They want me to lose
my Scottish accent. Fine.

1222
01:23:26,312 --> 01:23:28,189
But the chest wig...

1223
01:23:28,232 --> 01:23:31,065
- Where's Mel B?
- There she is.

1224
01:23:31,112 --> 01:23:33,103
- Hi, Mel.
- Hello!

1225
01:23:33,152 --> 01:23:34,790
- Hi, Mel.
- You all right?

1226
01:23:34,832 --> 01:23:35,901
This chest wig...

1227
01:23:35,952 --> 01:23:39,991
- Hi. You're Mel B.
- No, C. Just call me Sporty.

1228
01:23:42,112 --> 01:23:44,342
"All right, sweetheart!"

1229
01:23:44,392 --> 01:23:46,348
The saying
from that film you did.

1230
01:23:46,392 --> 01:23:49,190
- Yes.
- What was it called?

1231
01:23:49,232 --> 01:23:51,826
- With, um...
- That was brilliant.

1232
01:23:51,872 --> 01:23:53,703
- You were really good.
- Thank you.

1233
01:23:53,752 --> 01:23:56,949
We'd all like to say
thank you for this.

1234
01:23:56,992 --> 01:23:59,142
We needed
a serious actress like you

1235
01:23:59,192 --> 01:24:01,706
to give it some depth.
We didn't want it to be...

1236
01:24:01,752 --> 01:24:02,821
Superficial.

1237
01:24:04,672 --> 01:24:07,061
Can I ask you
about the chest wig?

1238
01:24:07,112 --> 01:24:08,386
Oh, Graydon!

1239
01:24:08,432 --> 01:24:11,185
Can I speak to you
about our characters?

1240
01:24:11,232 --> 01:24:14,190
In one scene,
I'd like to be really angry

1241
01:24:14,232 --> 01:24:17,429
and maybe slap someone...
like Victoria.

1242
01:24:17,472 --> 01:24:19,622
- Sure. Why not?
- Emma?

1243
01:24:19,672 --> 01:24:24,029
And I don't want to be on an
exercise bike all the time.

1244
01:24:24,072 --> 01:24:27,382
I've got this catch
phrase I'd like to say.

1245
01:24:27,432 --> 01:24:29,229
I go up to somebody and go,

1246
01:24:29,272 --> 01:24:31,263
"I'm not from London, you know!"

1247
01:24:33,432 --> 01:24:35,662
'Cause you really are
from London, right?

1248
01:24:35,712 --> 01:24:37,543
Is that the joke? I got it.

1249
01:24:37,592 --> 01:24:40,106
Does he not know I'm from Leeds?

1250
01:24:40,152 --> 01:24:41,983
You lot, someone's watching us.

1251
01:24:42,032 --> 01:24:43,306
Oh, yeah.

1252
01:24:43,352 --> 01:24:46,981
Look at all
those people in there.

1253
01:24:47,072 --> 01:24:48,744
Hi! Hello!

1254
01:24:48,792 --> 01:24:51,306
Look at them two
snogging at the back.

1255
01:24:51,352 --> 01:24:53,582
I bet you didn't
see any of our film.

1256
01:24:53,632 --> 01:24:57,591
- And look where your hand is!
- Go on! Go on!

1257
01:24:57,632 --> 01:25:00,305
Look at the mess
they made with popcorn.

1258
01:25:00,352 --> 01:25:01,785
Know what I wonder?

1259
01:25:01,832 --> 01:25:05,188
Why do people sit there
and watch the credits?

1260
01:25:05,232 --> 01:25:07,700
It's probably
the sad anti-climax.

1261
01:25:07,752 --> 01:25:09,982
It's all over.
Back to reality.

1262
01:25:10,032 --> 01:25:11,909
I know where
they're gonna go.

1263
01:25:11,952 --> 01:25:15,627
They're gonna go to the pub
and then to the chippy.

1264
01:25:15,672 --> 01:25:17,390
Hey, you. No, not you.
Behind you.

1265
01:25:17,432 --> 01:25:19,787
To the left. I like your dress.

1266
01:25:19,832 --> 01:25:21,060
Is that a new Gucci one?

1267
01:25:21,112 --> 01:25:23,831
C & A, mate.

1268
01:25:23,872 --> 01:25:25,863
Some people are watching
this on video.

1269
01:25:25,912 --> 01:25:28,870
Is there nothing on telly, then?

1270
01:25:28,912 --> 01:25:31,426
You know what
they're wondering now?

1271
01:25:31,472 --> 01:25:32,700
What happened to the bomb?

1272
01:28:18,232 --> 01:28:20,792
Ha ha ha!
Thank you very much.

1273
01:28:24,392 --> 01:28:29,420
DVD Subtitles by
European Captioning Institute