1
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:33,569
WOMAN: Craig, honey,
it's time for bed.

2
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,408
Craig, honey, time to get up.

3
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:43,412
Craig, honey, time to get up.
Craig, honey, time to get up.

4
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,431
Craig, honey, time to get up.
Lotte.

5
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:48,334
I'm sorry. I didn't know Orrin
Hatch was out of his cage.

6
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,002
Come on.
Morning, sweetheart.

7
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,712
Morning.

8
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,589
What are you gonna do today?

9
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,508
Working in the workshop.

10
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:56,843
I was thinking.

11
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,554
Maybe you'd feel better
if you got a job.

12
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:00,847
We've been over this.

13
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:05,101
Nobody's looking for a puppeteer
in today's wintry economic climate.

14
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:09,105
I know, honey,
but I thought, you know,

15
00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:14,026
maybe something else until
this puppet thing turns around.

16
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,028
Derek Mantini
doesn't need a day job.

17
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:19,782
Not everybody can be
Derek Mantini.

18
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,154
I gotta get to the shop.

19
00:03:22,155 --> 00:03:24,328
We have a shipment of kitty litter coming in.

20
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:27,331
Will you do me a favor? Will
you take a look at Elijah today?

21
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,375
He's not feeling
very good again.

22
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:31,502
Which one is Elijah again?

23
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,630
The chimp, honey.
Yeah, okay.

24
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,137
<i>MAN ON TV: On the
lighter side of the news,</i>

25
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,390
<i>in Westchester County today
puppeteer Derek Mantini</i>

26
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,435
<i>thrilled onlookers as he
performed The Belle of Amherst</i>

27
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:50,146
<i>with a 60-foot
Emily Dickinson puppet.</i>

28
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:54,400
<i>WOMAN:
How dreary to be somebody!</i>

29
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,527
<i>How public, like a frog</i>

30
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:59,906
<i> To tell one's
name the livelong day</i>

31
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,824
Gimmicky bastard.

32
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,997
You don't know lucky you are,
being a monkey.

33
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:10,625
Because consciousness...

34
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:14,462
is a terrible curse.

35
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,456
I think, I feel,

36
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:18,132
I suffer.

37
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:24,472
And all I ask in return is
the opportunity to do my work.

38
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,768
And they won't allow it...

39
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,772
Because I raise issues.

40
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:45,368
<i>WOMAN: While we enjoy the
pleasures of an uneasy love</i>

41
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,037
<i>and abandon ourselves
to fornication,</i>

42
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,290
<i>we were spared God's severity.</i>

43
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,292
<i>MAN: Say no more,
I beg you,</i>

44
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,127
<i>and cease from complaints like these</i>

45
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:58,339
<i>which are so far removed
from the true depths of love.</i>

46
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,426
Look, a puppet show!

47
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:06,180
Okay, honey, just for a
minute. Mommy's waiting.

48
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,808
<i>Even during
the celebration of Mass,</i>

49
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:11,060
<i>when our prayers
should be pure,</i>

50
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:14,631
<i>lewd visions of these pleasures
take such a hold</i>

51
00:05:14,632 --> 00:05:16,524
<i>upon my unhappy soul</i>

52
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:19,814
<i>that my thoughts are on their very
wantonness</i>

53
00:05:19,815 --> 00:05:21,445
<i>instead of my prayers.</i>

54
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:29,252
<i>Sometimes my thoughts are betrayed</i>

55
00:05:29,253 --> 00:05:31,580
<i>by the movement of my body.</i>

56
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:35,668
<i>l took my fill of my
wretched pleasures in you</i>

57
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,754
<i>and this was
the sum total of my love.</i>

58
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,288
You motherfucker!

59
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,131
Oh, Craig!

60
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:25,092
Honey, not again!

61
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,512
Why do you do this
to yourself, honey?

62
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,806
I'm a puppeteer.

63
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,441
Seven and a half, right?

64
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:05,609
Uh, yeah.

65
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,820
I'll take you through it.

66
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,174
Seven and a half.

67
00:08:28,881 --> 00:08:30,342
Thank you.

68
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:06,045
Welcome to Lestercorp. How
may we meet your filing needs?

69
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,672
No. Um...
My name's Craig Schwartz.

70
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,382
I have an interview
with Dr. Lester.

71
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:11,280
Oh.

72
00:09:11,281 --> 00:09:13,719
Oh. Please have a seat,
Mr. Juarez.

73
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,054
Schwartz.

74
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,931
Pardon?
Schwartz.

75
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:21,268
I-I'm sorry. I have no idea what
you're saying to me right now.

76
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,354
My name is Schwartz.

77
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,147
My name is Warts?

78
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,242
WOMAN: Mr. Juarez?

79
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,161
Oh. Yes?
Chest?

80
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:40,829
I said, "Yes?"

81
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,665
You suggest what?

82
00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,737
I'm sorry, I have no time

83
00:09:44,738 --> 00:09:47,628
for piddling suggestions
from mumbling job applicants.

84
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:50,339
Besides,
Dr. Lester will see you now.

85
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,177
Come in, Mr. Juarez.

86
00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:59,556
Actually, my name
is Craig Schwartz, Dr. Lester.

87
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,851
Security!
No, sir, it's...

88
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,703
It's just a little mix-up
with your secretary.

89
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:07,523
My name is Craig Schwartz.
I tried to explain that to her.

90
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,566
She's not my secretary.

91
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:12,528
She's what they call an
executive liaison. Ah.

92
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,406
And I am not banging her, if
that's what you're implying.

93
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:19,034
No, sir, not at all. I think
I must have simply misspoke.

94
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,086
Ah. Well, now,

95
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,516
tell me, Dr. Schwartz,

96
00:10:31,517 --> 00:10:34,216
what do you feel
you can bring to Lestercorp?

97
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,720
Uh, well, sir,
I'm an excellent filer.

98
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,723
Are you? All right.
Let's see about that.

99
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:50,774
Tell me, which of these two letters
comes first? This one or this one?

100
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:57,156
The symbol on the left
is not a letter, sir.

101
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,158
Damn, you're good.

102
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:01,618
I was trying to trick you.
I see.

103
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:04,788
Well, then,
put these in order.

104
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:07,082
Yes, sir.

105
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:14,089
Floris,
get Guinness on the phone.

106
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,176
<i>FLORIS: Yes, sir.
Genghis Khan Capone. Fine.</i>

107
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:18,385
Damn fine woman, Floris.

108
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:22,473
I don't know how she puts up with
this speech impediment of mine.

109
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:27,227
You don't have a speech
impediment, Dr. Lester.

110
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:30,230
Flattery will get you
everywhere, my boy.

111
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,609
I'm afraid I have to trust
Floris on that one.

112
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,694
You see,
she's got her doctorate

113
00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:38,697
in speech impedimentology
from Case Western.

114
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,325
I apologize if you can't
understand a word I'm saying.

115
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,619
No, I understand perfectly.

116
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:46,455
Oh, it's very kind of you
to lie.

117
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,415
You see,
I've been very lonely

118
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:52,294
in my isolated tower
of indecipherable speech.

119
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,135
You got the job.

120
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,054
Any questions?

121
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,764
Well, just one.

122
00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:06,350
Why are these
ceilings so low?

123
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:07,726
Low overhead, my boy!

124
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:10,312
We pass the savings
on to you.

125
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:14,233
But seriously, that'll all
be covered in orientation.

126
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,890
<i>MAN: Welcome to the seven and a half
floor of the Mertin Flemmer Building.</i>

127
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,101
<i>As you'll now be spending
your work day here,</i>

128
00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:53,230
<i>it is important that you learn a bit
about the history of this famous floor.</i>

129
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:55,315
<i>Hello, Don.
Hello, Wendy.</i>

130
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,119
<i>Don, I was wondering,
do you know why</i>

131
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,154
<i>our workplace has such low ceilings?</i>

132
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:02,072
<i>It's an interesting story.</i>

133
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:05,501
<i>Many years ago
in the late 1800s, James Mertin,</i>

134
00:13:05,502 --> 00:13:08,237
<i>an Irish ship captain,
came to this town</i>

135
00:13:08,238 --> 00:13:10,664
<i>and decided to erect
an office building.</i>

136
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:14,334
<i>He called this building the Mertin
Flemmer Building after himself</i>

137
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:17,546
<i>and someone else, who local
legend has it was named Flemmer.</i>

138
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:18,601
<i>Well, one day,</i>

139
00:13:18,602 --> 00:13:21,091
<i>old Captain Mertin
received an unexpected visitor.</i>

140
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,593
<i>Captain Mertin?</i>

141
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,845
<i>Aye. What want ye,
girl child?</i>

142
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:25,998
<i>I'm not a child,</i>

143
00:13:25,999 --> 00:13:29,057
<i>but rather an
adult lady of miniature proportions.</i>

144
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:32,519
<i>I see. Well, if it's
charity you're after,</i>

145
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:35,230
<i>be gone with ye,
you foul demon!</i>

146
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,232
<i>I'm not asking for alms</i>

147
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,402
<i>but, rather, the ear of a
kind man with a noble heart.</i>

148
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,155
<i>Well, speak then,
if you must.</i>

149
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,263
<i>Captain Mertin,</i>

150
00:13:44,264 --> 00:13:47,117
<i>I'm afraid that the world
was not built with me in mind.</i>

151
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:50,037
<i>Doorknobs are too high,
chairs are unwieldy</i>

152
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,956
<i>and high-ceilinged rooms
mock my stature.</i>

153
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:57,085
<i>Why cannot there be a place for me
to work that's safe and comfortable?</i>

154
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,755
<i>Thy story has moved me
like no other.</i>

155
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,090
<i>Therefore, I shall make ye...</i>

156
00:14:03,324 --> 00:14:04,468
<i>me wife.</i>

157
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:07,179
<i>And- And I shall build
a floor for ye</i>

158
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:10,891
<i>between the seventh and the
eighth in me own building</i>

159
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:14,728
<i>so at least there'll be
one place on God's green earth</i>

160
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:18,232
<i>where ye and your accursed
kind can live in peace.</i>

161
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,903
<i>So that's the story
of seven and a half.</i>

162
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,863
<i>Since the rents
are considerably lower,</i>

163
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:27,199
<i>this floor has been adopted
by businesses which,</i>

164
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,993
<i>for one reason or another,
have been forced to cut corners.</i>

165
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:32,663
<i>After all,
the overhead is low.</i>

166
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,759
Moving story, huh?

167
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,638
Unfortunately,
the story's bullshit.

168
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:56,728
Listen, I'm Craig Schwartz. I'm
just starting out at Lestercorp.

169
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,981
Where are you starting out?

170
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,571
ORRIN HATCH:
Shut up! Shut up!

171
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:06,905
Shut up! Shut up!

172
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,156
MAN: Hey, shut up!

173
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,158
Shut up!

174
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,577
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, honey.

175
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,830
Sorry, honey. Sorry, honey.

176
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,333
MAN: Shut up!
Sorry!

177
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,918
Help! She's locking me in a cage.

178
00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:21,143
Isn't that cute?

179
00:15:21,144 --> 00:15:23,922
I just taught him that today.
Yeah, that's adorable.

180
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:29,344
You want to do some dishes for me?
Put that down.

181
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,680
Here, Elijah.
Here you go.

182
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:34,975
You know, I have an appointment
tomorrow with Elijah's shrink.

183
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,135
Yeah. I think we're finally getting down

184
00:15:38,136 --> 00:15:40,314
to the bottom of this
acid stomach, aren't we?

185
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,940
Come here.

186
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,194
Just get down from the...

187
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,615
She thinks that it's
some sort of childhood trauma.

188
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:55,454
Feelings of inadequacy as
a chimp, you know? Mmm-hmm.

189
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:58,457
Careful.
Isn't that interesting?

190
00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:02,628
I find it
really interesting.

191
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:11,053
So, honey, have you thought
any more about us having a baby?

192
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:13,972
Uh...

193
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,476
You know, I think it's just so tough
right now, economically and all...

194
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,144
Mmm-hmm.

195
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:23,732
...that I think maybe we should just
wait and see if this job thing pays off.

196
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:26,902
You know?
Okay.

197
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,619
I was thinking about
what you were saying

198
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:38,098
about the orientation film
being bullshit.

199
00:16:38,099 --> 00:16:39,081
Yes?

200
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,333
I think maybe
you're on to something.

201
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:43,627
And 50 other lines
to get into a girl's pants.

202
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:45,671
No, no!

203
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:49,508
No, I was just talking about
the... You know, about the film.

204
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,301
Here's the thing.

205
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,012
If you ever got me,

206
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,766
you wouldn't have a clue
what to do with me.

207
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,855
I wasn't...
I was talking about the film.

208
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:13,407
Ooh, what magic those fingers could
work on the right cabinet, mmm.

209
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:16,118
Maybe you could
alphabetize me.

210
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,036
And don't forget,

211
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:21,456
"I" comes before "U."

212
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,211
Floris,
I think you're very nice,

213
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:30,757
but the truth is that
I'm in love with someone else.

214
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:34,845
I'm afraid I have no idea
what you're saying to me.

215
00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:36,847
You bastard.

216
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,140
What?

217
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:41,268
Don't toy with Floris,
Schwartz.

218
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:41,601
Oh, no...

219
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:44,604
If I was 80 years younger,
I'd box your ears.

220
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:47,733
I wasn't toying with her, sir.
I wouldn't...

221
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,443
Pardon me.
How old are you, sir?

222
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:51,486
One hundred and five.

223
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:54,781
Carrot juice, and lots of it.

224
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:58,076
I swear, sometimes it's
not worth it. I piss orange.

225
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:02,497
And I have to piss sitting
down like a goddamn girly-girl,

226
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,291
every 15 minutes.
Mmm.

227
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,418
But nobody wants to die.

228
00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:09,963
Ah, to be a young man again,
eh, Schwartz?

229
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:13,258
Maybe then
Floris would care for me.

230
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:18,261
But the elderly have so much to offer,
sir. They're our link with history.

231
00:18:18,262 --> 00:18:20,640
I don't wanna be
your goddamn link, damn ya.

232
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:24,727
I want to feel Floris's
naked thighs next to mine.

233
00:18:24,754 --> 00:18:26,769
I want my body to inspire

234
00:18:26,770 --> 00:18:29,483
lust in that beautiful,
complex woman.

235
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:34,399
I want her to shiver with a spasm of
ecstasy, Schwartz,

236
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:35,446
as I penetrate her wet...

237
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:38,992
Dr. Lester, while I'm flattered you
would share your feelings with me,

238
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,739
perhaps the workplace is not
the most suitable environment

239
00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:42,996
for this type of discussion.

240
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,456
All right. You're right.

241
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:49,294
I'll tell you what. Meet me after
work today at Jerry's Juiceteria on Lex

242
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:52,297
and I'll spill
my goddamn guts for ya.

243
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:58,553
No, I won't be late, Lotte.
I just have to, you know,

244
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:01,598
listen to Lester's sexual fantasies
and drink carrot juice for a while.

245
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,809
It's a job thing, really.

246
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,022
Yeah. So,
I'll talk to you later, okay?

247
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,482
Yeah. You too.

248
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:13,193
Gotta go back to work.
Okay, bye.

249
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:15,955
Hi.

250
00:19:15,956 --> 00:19:19,241
Do you know that I don't even
know your name or where you work?

251
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:20,659
Yeah.

252
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,455
Um, okay, how about this?

253
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,624
If I can guess your name
in three tries,

254
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,794
you have to come
have a drink with me tonight.

255
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,338
Why not?

256
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:36,049
Okay.

257
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,176
You look like a...

258
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,223
Bar...

259
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:46,059
Ru...

260
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,897
Bell... Lu...

261
00:19:51,274 --> 00:19:53,733
L... Carol...

262
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:56,611
Ta... Shar...

263
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,905
Susann...

264
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:03,118
Emm...ily...

265
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,871
Mar...lar...

266
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:09,291
Maax...ine...
M-M-M-Maxine?

267
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,835
Yeah!
Who told you?

268
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:14,588
Nobody told me.
That just came out.

269
00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:16,756
Isn't that odd?

270
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,343
So where do you live
and stuff?

271
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,763
I am dubious,
but I don't welsh.

272
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:27,309
Okay, meet me
at The Stuck Pig, 7:00.

273
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,520
If you're late, I walk.

274
00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,939
Nubile. Blonde.

275
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,691
Wet with desire.

276
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:37,360
Me in leather.
A harness, if you like.

277
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:41,239
And all eyes, Craig,
are upon me as I speak.

278
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:45,327
"Ladies," I begin.
"I am the love god Eros."

279
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:47,120
They like that.

280
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:49,080
"I intoxicate you.

281
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:52,208
"My spunk is, to you,
manna from heaven."

282
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:55,462
Dr. Lester, this is all
really fascinating and stuff,

283
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:58,465
but I gotta
get back home to my wife.

284
00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:00,550
You have a wife.
I'd like to meet her.

285
00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:01,248
Yes, sir.

286
00:21:01,249 --> 00:21:03,428
Shall we say dinner Thursday?

287
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,264
You can come, too,
if you like.

288
00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:07,933
Get that? That was a joke.

289
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,726
You hear what I said?
You can come too.

290
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,478
That was a good one.

291
00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:13,897
All right. Thank you.
Yeah.

292
00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:25,200
Maxine. Maxine.

293
00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:27,452
I made it, Maxine.
Just.

294
00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:29,746
Buy you a drink, Maxine?

295
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,456
Are you married?

296
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:35,168
Yeah. But enough about me.

297
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:36,378
Yeah.

298
00:21:38,089 --> 00:21:39,297
What'll you have?

299
00:21:39,382 --> 00:21:41,299
I'll have more of the same,
please, Barry.

300
00:21:41,384 --> 00:21:44,135
And I'll have, uh,
a light beer or something.

301
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:45,595
BARRY: Hi.

302
00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:50,308
So, uh...

303
00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:53,561
I don't know... I, uh...

304
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,815
I like you. I don't know what
it is about you. I just...

305
00:21:56,899 --> 00:21:58,984
My tits?
No! No, no, no, no.

306
00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:00,089
No?

307
00:22:00,090 --> 00:22:02,696
It's your energy, attitude,
the way you carry yourself.

308
00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:03,947
You're not a fag, are you?

309
00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:06,324
No. I am
really attracted to you.

310
00:22:06,409 --> 00:22:08,994
"I am really attracted to
you." Christ, you are a fag.

311
00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:11,162
Well, we can share recipes
if you like, Darlene.

312
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:12,600
No, wait!

313
00:22:12,601 --> 00:22:14,165
I love your tits.
I wanna fuck 'em.

314
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,376
Now we're gettin' somewhere.

315
00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:18,837
Not a chance.

316
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:22,298
So tell me about yourself,
huh?

317
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:26,761
If you can get your mind out of
the gutter long enough, dog boy.

318
00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,222
Well, I'm a puppeteer.

319
00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:31,016
I-I've been...
Check.

320
00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:37,790
Hey.

321
00:22:38,682 --> 00:22:39,354
Hey.

322
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:42,402
I'm sorry I'm so late.
I just...

323
00:22:42,570 --> 00:22:45,196
Lester just wouldn't
let me get away.

324
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:48,737
Hi, Elijah. We're supposed to
have dinner with him on Thursday

325
00:22:48,738 --> 00:22:50,869
but I can get us out of it,
if you want.

326
00:22:50,953 --> 00:22:53,455
He's like this
insane old lech,

327
00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:55,371
and it's kind of amusing

328
00:22:55,372 --> 00:22:57,709
once you get
past how disgusting it actually is.

329
00:22:57,793 --> 00:23:00,378
Did you eat?
No. I'm not hungry.

330
00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:02,881
I'm sorry I didn't call.
It was just hard to get away.

331
00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:04,382
I was worried.

332
00:23:04,467 --> 00:23:05,884
I'm sorry.

333
00:23:08,137 --> 00:23:09,345
You know...

334
00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:13,808
you wanted me to work.

335
00:23:17,146 --> 00:23:18,396
How was your evening?

336
00:23:18,481 --> 00:23:19,856
Well...

337
00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:23,151
Tom-Tom's puncture wound
is infected.

338
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,694
The ferret?

339
00:23:25,154 --> 00:23:26,863
The iguana.
Right.

340
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:30,327
So I just dressed the wound and

341
00:23:30,328 --> 00:23:31,534
I've just been feeding everyone

342
00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:33,995
and putting everybody to bed.

343
00:23:35,164 --> 00:23:36,247
You want a beer?

344
00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:38,750
No. I think
I'm going to go to bed.

345
00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:41,419
Elijah's gonna
sleep with us tonight.

346
00:23:41,504 --> 00:23:43,088
I don't think
he's feeling very well.

347
00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:45,215
Okay. Hmm.
Yeah.

348
00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:50,762
Well, you know what? I'm gonna go
in my workshop for a little while.

349
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:52,305
But I'll be in
in a little while.

350
00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:53,681
Okay.

351
00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:39,352
Tell me, Craig,
why do you love puppeteering?

352
00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:45,817
Well, Maxine,
I'm not sure exactly.

353
00:24:45,901 --> 00:24:49,404
Perhaps it's the idea of becoming
someone else for a little while.

354
00:24:49,572 --> 00:24:51,698
Being inside another skin,

355
00:24:52,116 --> 00:24:55,034
thinking differently,
moving differently,

356
00:24:55,578 --> 00:24:57,495
feeling differently.

357
00:24:58,247 --> 00:25:00,081
Interesting, Craig.

358
00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:03,418
Would you like
to be inside my skin,

359
00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:07,547
think what I think,
feel what I feel?

360
00:25:10,801 --> 00:25:13,011
More than anything,
Maxine.

361
00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:19,058
It's good in here, Craig.

362
00:25:19,602 --> 00:25:22,437
It's better than
your wildest dreams.

363
00:25:50,633 --> 00:25:53,051
You're not somebody I could
get interested in, Craig.

364
00:25:53,135 --> 00:25:54,928
You play with dolls.

365
00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:56,908
Puppets, Maxine.

366
00:25:56,909 --> 00:25:59,933
It's the idea of
being inside someone else's skin

367
00:26:00,351 --> 00:26:03,770
and seeing what they see
and feeling what they feel.

368
00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:05,313
Yikes!

369
00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:07,815
It's just that, well...
Please let me explain.

370
00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:10,485
I've never
done this before, but...

371
00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,737
I feel something for you,

372
00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:15,240
and I've never
felt this way before.

373
00:26:15,324 --> 00:26:18,368
You know, about anybody,
n-not even my wife.

374
00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:20,912
And I just...

375
00:26:20,996 --> 00:26:24,457
I really feel that you and I
belong together, Maxine.

376
00:26:25,042 --> 00:26:26,167
Oh!

377
00:26:51,485 --> 00:26:52,694
Shit.

378
00:28:15,402 --> 00:28:18,071
MAN: See you later.
Hello. Mail room.

379
00:28:21,408 --> 00:28:23,910
Yeah. Yeah.
What's the file number?

380
00:28:25,204 --> 00:28:28,164
3-2-3-6-4. Yep.

381
00:30:26,783 --> 00:30:30,411
Oh, you know what? The puppeteer
told me he loved me today.

382
00:30:30,621 --> 00:30:33,748
I know, I can't think
of anything more pathetic.

383
00:30:34,917 --> 00:30:36,292
I'm sorry.

384
00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:40,421
Good afternoon, sir.

385
00:30:51,767 --> 00:30:53,601
The Broadhurst Theater,
please.

386
00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:04,445
Hey, say, uh,
ain't you that actor guy?

387
00:31:04,530 --> 00:31:05,947
Yes.

388
00:31:06,281 --> 00:31:09,617
John, uh... What is, uh...
John, um, uh...

389
00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:12,912
Uh, don't tell me.
Maplethorpe?

390
00:31:12,996 --> 00:31:16,457
Malkovich.
Malkovich. Right, right. Okay.

391
00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:20,169
Yeah. I thought you were
all right in that one movie.

392
00:31:20,254 --> 00:31:21,546
Thank you.

393
00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:24,048
The one where you played
a jewel thief.

394
00:31:24,132 --> 00:31:26,384
I never played
a jewel thief.

395
00:31:26,468 --> 00:31:28,803
No? Who am I thinkin' of?

396
00:31:29,304 --> 00:31:30,846
I don't know.

397
00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:32,723
Just, uh...

398
00:31:33,976 --> 00:31:36,496
No, no, I'm pretty sure it was
you.

399
00:31:36,497 --> 00:31:37,687
The, uh... 'Cause, uh...

400
00:32:14,766 --> 00:32:17,310
Yeah. Absolutely, doll.

401
00:32:18,312 --> 00:32:20,730
Yeah.
I'm just about to close up.

402
00:32:21,023 --> 00:32:23,765
Wanna meet at the Pig
in 20 minutes?

403
00:32:23,766 --> 00:32:24,775
Cool. Bye.

404
00:32:26,361 --> 00:32:28,738
I'm splitting' for the day,
puppet man.

405
00:32:28,822 --> 00:32:29,822
Lock up for me, okay?

406
00:32:29,906 --> 00:32:32,175
Don't you wanna know
what happened to me?

407
00:32:32,176 --> 00:32:32,986
No.

408
00:32:32,987 --> 00:32:34,744
Please, this is important.

409
00:32:35,329 --> 00:32:36,787
Better be.

410
00:32:36,872 --> 00:32:38,205
It is.

411
00:32:44,129 --> 00:32:46,714
There's a tiny door
in my office, Maxine.

412
00:32:46,798 --> 00:32:50,968
It's a portal, and it takes
you inside John Malkovich.

413
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,096
You see the world
through John Malkovich's eyes

414
00:32:54,181 --> 00:32:56,807
and then after about 15
minutes, you're spit out

415
00:32:56,892 --> 00:32:59,769
into a ditch on the side
of the New Jersey Turnpike.

416
00:32:59,853 --> 00:33:02,897
Sounds great! Who the
fuck is John Malkovich?

417
00:33:03,565 --> 00:33:06,942
Oh, he's an actor. He's one of the great
American actors of the 20th century.

418
00:33:07,027 --> 00:33:09,111
Oh, yeah?
What's he been in?

419
00:33:09,488 --> 00:33:11,656
Lots of things. That jewel
thief movie, for example.

420
00:33:11,740 --> 00:33:15,242
He's very well respected.
Anyway, the point is

421
00:33:15,243 --> 00:33:18,455
this is a very odd thing.

422
00:33:18,456 --> 00:33:21,716
It's supernatural,
for lack of a better word.

423
00:33:21,717 --> 00:33:25,878
I mean, it raises all sorts of philosophical-type
questions, you know...

424
00:33:25,962 --> 00:33:29,507
about the nature of self,
about the existence of a soul.

425
00:33:29,591 --> 00:33:32,385
You know, am I me?
Is Malkovich Malkovich?

426
00:33:33,762 --> 00:33:35,802
I had a piece of wood in my hand.

427
00:33:35,803 --> 00:33:37,431
I don't have it anymore.

428
00:33:37,808 --> 00:33:40,518
Where is it?
Did it disappear?

429
00:33:40,602 --> 00:33:42,062
How could that be?

430
00:33:42,063 --> 00:33:43,854
Is it still in Malkovich's head?

431
00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:45,856
I don't know!

432
00:33:46,942 --> 00:33:51,445
Do you see what a metaphysical
can of worms this portal is?

433
00:33:55,450 --> 00:34:00,079
I don't see how I could go on living
my life the way I've lived it before.

434
00:34:16,805 --> 00:34:18,597
<i>Yeah?
MAXINE: So I've been thinking,</i>

435
00:34:18,682 --> 00:34:20,696
<i>is this Malkovich fellow
appealing?</i>

436
00:34:20,697 --> 00:34:23,644
Maxine! Yes, of course,
Maxine. He's a celebrity.

437
00:34:24,229 --> 00:34:26,272
<i>Good. We'll sell tickets.</i>

438
00:34:27,232 --> 00:34:28,858
Tickets to Malkovich?

439
00:34:28,942 --> 00:34:31,402
<i>Exactly. $200 a pop.</i>

440
00:34:33,739 --> 00:34:37,542
But, Maxine, there's something,
I don't know, like profound here.

441
00:34:37,543 --> 00:34:41,036
I don't know if maybe we
should exploit it. You think?

442
00:34:41,580 --> 00:34:45,416
<i>I need you for this, Craigy.
You're my man on the inside.</i>

443
00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:47,001
You need me?

444
00:34:47,335 --> 00:34:49,086
I'm your man?

445
00:34:50,338 --> 00:34:51,881
<i>
Sure, whatever.</i>

446
00:34:53,258 --> 00:34:55,468
Hey, everybody, I'm home.

447
00:34:55,969 --> 00:34:57,595
Treats for everyone.

448
00:34:57,679 --> 00:34:59,346
<i>Maxine?
Yeah?</i>

449
00:35:00,182 --> 00:35:03,100
We don't know the significance
of this thing.

450
00:35:03,185 --> 00:35:05,686
It might be dangerous
to toy with?

451
00:35:06,188 --> 00:35:09,523
<i> Well,
I'll protect you, doll face.</i>

452
00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:11,692
<i>Bye-bye.</i>

453
00:35:15,655 --> 00:35:17,198
Who was that?

454
00:35:18,033 --> 00:35:21,952
I'm going to be working a lot
of late nights with this partner

455
00:35:22,037 --> 00:35:23,996
because Lestercorp's open
during the day,

456
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:25,915
so I'll be working
a lot of late nights.

457
00:35:25,999 --> 00:35:29,335
But it's a good thing, 'cause it's
gonna get us out of the hole financially

458
00:35:29,419 --> 00:35:30,711
'cause we're gonna
turn it into a business.

459
00:35:30,796 --> 00:35:34,048
But I don't understand.
There's not...

460
00:35:34,257 --> 00:35:38,636
There's no such thing as a hole,
or a portal, into somebody's brain.

461
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:42,973
Yes, there is. A brain,
or soul or whatever.

462
00:35:43,058 --> 00:35:45,768
I was inside John Malkovich
lookin' out.

463
00:35:46,770 --> 00:35:48,270
Really?
Yep.

464
00:35:48,355 --> 00:35:49,814
I wanna try it.

465
00:35:49,898 --> 00:35:50,940
Pardon me?

466
00:35:51,024 --> 00:35:54,026
I want to be
John Malkovich, tomorrow.

467
00:35:54,110 --> 00:35:56,683
That'd be perfect, 'cause then
I can meet your partner.

468
00:35:56,684 --> 00:35:59,573
The thing is, Lestercorp's
open during the day,

469
00:35:59,658 --> 00:36:01,384
so we can't go during the day.

470
00:36:01,385 --> 00:36:04,411
But if you want to,
we can do it right now.

471
00:36:04,412 --> 00:36:05,411
- Now?
- Tonight.

472
00:36:05,412 --> 00:36:06,247
- Right now?
- Yeah.

473
00:36:06,248 --> 00:36:08,749
Right now,
on the way to Lester's.

474
00:36:20,053 --> 00:36:24,056
I'll meet you on the side of the
road by the New Jersey Turnpike.

475
00:36:29,646 --> 00:36:31,105
I'm scared.

476
00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:35,150
You don't have to do this,
you know.

477
00:36:37,362 --> 00:36:38,586
No.

478
00:36:39,214 --> 00:36:40,739
No, I-I wanna go.

479
00:36:41,741 --> 00:36:42,942
- You sure?
- Yeah.

480
00:36:42,943 --> 00:36:44,153
Okay.

481
00:37:04,139 --> 00:37:05,806
LOTTE: It's wet.

482
00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:09,059
Weird.

483
00:37:16,985 --> 00:37:18,944
That's nice. Oh!

484
00:37:20,322 --> 00:37:23,324
Oh, mmm!

485
00:37:24,284 --> 00:37:25,951
Oh! Mmm.

486
00:37:28,452 --> 00:37:29,997
God. I feel sexy.

487
00:37:37,881 --> 00:37:40,174
Lotte, are you all right?

488
00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:47,973
Craig! Craig, I gotta go back!
No!

489
00:37:48,391 --> 00:37:52,020
Maybe tomorrow.
No! I gotta go back now!

490
00:37:52,021 --> 00:37:54,104
We'll talk
about it later.

491
00:37:56,983 --> 00:37:59,526
Being inside
did something to me.

492
00:38:00,195 --> 00:38:01,862
I knew who I was.

493
00:38:06,952 --> 00:38:10,663
It's like everything made sense.
I-I knew who I was.

494
00:38:10,747 --> 00:38:13,457
But you weren't you.
You were John Malkovich.

495
00:38:13,541 --> 00:38:16,627
God, I was.
I was, wasn't I?

496
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:20,047
I was...

497
00:38:20,131 --> 00:38:23,050
I was John Malkovich.

498
00:38:25,553 --> 00:38:28,681
I was- I was
John fucking Malkovich!

499
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:33,727
Take me back, Craig.

500
00:38:33,812 --> 00:38:35,729
We're late for Lester.

501
00:38:40,318 --> 00:38:43,862
So tell me, Lotte, can you
understand a word I'm saying?

502
00:38:44,906 --> 00:38:47,113
Oh, yes, Dr. Lester.
Absolutely.

503
00:38:47,114 --> 00:38:50,327
You were just explaining
the nutritional value

504
00:38:50,578 --> 00:38:54,832
of ingesting minerals through a colloidal
form which I couldn't agree more with.

505
00:38:54,916 --> 00:38:57,384
Oh! Be still, my heart.

506
00:39:01,423 --> 00:39:04,883
Dr. Lester, would you mind pointing
me in the direction of the restroom?

507
00:39:04,968 --> 00:39:10,929
With the greatest pleasure, my
dear. You go up the grand escalier

508
00:39:10,930 --> 00:39:13,726
and once atop the stairs
you'll want to enter the, uh...

509
00:39:13,810 --> 00:39:15,993
fifth door on my left.

510
00:39:15,994 --> 00:39:17,688
Watch the step down.
It's sunken.

511
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:19,606
Okay. Thank you.

512
00:40:18,666 --> 00:40:21,376
"Malkovich
Physical Development."

513
00:40:33,848 --> 00:40:37,684
What do you think Lester's
relationship with John Malkovich is?

514
00:40:40,313 --> 00:40:42,103
That portal's been boarded up forever.

515
00:40:42,104 --> 00:40:43,941
I bet Lester's not even aware of it.

516
00:40:44,025 --> 00:40:47,236
Him, the portal. Why?

517
00:40:47,237 --> 00:40:48,987
No reason.
I was just thinking.

518
00:40:49,072 --> 00:40:52,874
Do you think that it's kind of weird
that John Malkovich has a portal?

519
00:40:52,875 --> 00:40:56,328
Do you think that it might have some
sort of significance, for example?

520
00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:58,997
I don't know.
Why do you think that?

521
00:40:59,082 --> 00:41:00,582
I don't even care.

522
00:41:00,667 --> 00:41:04,503
I think it's kind of sexy that
John Malkovich has a portal.

523
00:41:04,587 --> 00:41:07,297
Sort of like
it's like he's a vagina.

524
00:41:07,382 --> 00:41:09,591
It's sort of vaginal,
like he has a...

525
00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:12,094
he has a penis and a vagina.

526
00:41:12,762 --> 00:41:17,141
It's sort of like
Malkovich's feminine side.

527
00:41:19,269 --> 00:41:20,769
I like that.

528
00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:26,965
"Visit J.M. Inc.
Mertin Flemmer Building.

529
00:41:26,966 --> 00:41:29,736
"Nightly from 9:00 p.m.
to 4:00 a.m."

530
00:41:29,821 --> 00:41:30,988
Sounds good.

531
00:41:31,072 --> 00:41:32,823
Oblique but intriguing.
Phone it in.

532
00:41:32,907 --> 00:41:35,075
Want me to phone it in?
No.

533
00:41:37,787 --> 00:41:39,037
Lotte!

534
00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:41,748
Hi. I heard your voice.

535
00:41:42,083 --> 00:41:44,168
What are you doing here?

536
00:41:44,794 --> 00:41:47,504
Is this your partner?
She's pretty.

537
00:41:48,298 --> 00:41:51,925
I had to do the Malkovich ride
again, you know? Is this her?

538
00:41:52,010 --> 00:41:53,927
Hi. You're Craig's wife?
Yeah. Hi.

539
00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:56,430
Lotte, Maxine.
Maxine, Lotte.

540
00:41:56,764 --> 00:41:59,183
Have you done Malkovich yet?

541
00:41:59,267 --> 00:42:01,810
Uh, hi.
Yeah, I want to place an ad.

542
00:42:01,895 --> 00:42:03,937
Okay. "Ever want to be
someone else?"

543
00:42:04,022 --> 00:42:07,357
No, that's the ad, but we can
talk about you in a minute.

544
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:09,722
"Ever want to be someone else?

545
00:42:09,723 --> 00:42:12,154
Now you can. Visit J.M. Inc."

546
00:42:12,614 --> 00:42:15,991
Inc. Mertin.
M-E-R-T-I-N. Flemmer.

547
00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:18,202
You should really be at work.

548
00:42:21,164 --> 00:42:25,417
I've been going over and over
my experience last night, Craig.

549
00:42:27,003 --> 00:42:28,795
It was amazing.

550
00:42:30,465 --> 00:42:33,483
I've decided

551
00:42:33,484 --> 00:42:34,843
that I'm a transsexual.

552
00:42:35,345 --> 00:42:37,591
I know it's
the craziest thing, Craig!

553
00:42:37,592 --> 00:42:38,652
What, are you fuckin' nuts?

554
00:42:38,653 --> 00:42:42,559
No. It's just that for the first
time, everything just felt right.

555
00:42:44,062 --> 00:42:45,979
I've got to make sure.

556
00:42:46,689 --> 00:42:49,149
But if the feeling
is still there,

557
00:42:50,985 --> 00:42:55,072
I'm going to talk to Dr. Feldman
about sexual reassignment surgery.

558
00:42:55,156 --> 00:42:57,741
This is absurd! Besides,
Feldman is an allergist.

559
00:42:57,825 --> 00:42:59,159
If you're going to
do something, do it right.

560
00:42:59,244 --> 00:43:00,953
We talked about this
a million times.

561
00:43:01,037 --> 00:43:03,705
You get these half-assed ideas,
and then you do a half-assed job.

562
00:43:03,790 --> 00:43:04,790
Just drop it.

563
00:43:04,874 --> 00:43:08,585
It's just that I really, you know,
I like Dr. Feldman. All right?

564
00:43:08,670 --> 00:43:11,338
So I thought that
I would ask him his opinion.

565
00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:14,007
Is there something
so terrible about that?

566
00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:15,634
Why do you always
yell at me like this?

567
00:43:15,718 --> 00:43:17,511
Sweetie, I'm sorry.

568
00:43:17,595 --> 00:43:19,231
It's just a phase.

569
00:43:19,232 --> 00:43:22,057
It's the thrill of
seeing through somebody else's eyes.

570
00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:23,767
Okay? It'll pass.

571
00:43:24,811 --> 00:43:27,437
Don't stand in the way
of my actualization as a man.

572
00:43:29,107 --> 00:43:30,899
Let her go, Craig.

573
00:43:30,984 --> 00:43:32,734
Okay.
I mean him.

574
00:43:33,861 --> 00:43:35,529
Right now?

575
00:43:37,282 --> 00:43:38,490
Uh-huh.

576
00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:42,494
It's the middle of the day. How
am I going to get her past Lester?

577
00:43:42,578 --> 00:43:43,912
Yawn. Figure it out.

578
00:43:43,997 --> 00:43:46,164
Okay. Let's go.
Come on.

579
00:43:46,874 --> 00:43:48,542
Bye.
Bye.

580
00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:01,388
Davey, it's Max.

581
00:44:02,098 --> 00:44:05,392
Listen, can you get me
John Malkovich's home phone?

582
00:44:06,269 --> 00:44:09,203
"But what I had been through.

583
00:44:09,204 --> 00:44:11,064
"I am hungry as the winter.

584
00:44:11,316 --> 00:44:15,235
"I am sick, anxious,
poor as a beggar.

585
00:44:16,237 --> 00:44:18,739
"Fate has tossed me
hither and thither.

586
00:44:19,157 --> 00:44:21,783
"I have been everywhere.
Everywhere."

587
00:44:21,909 --> 00:44:24,286
LOTTE: So strong.
"But wherever I have been,

588
00:44:24,412 --> 00:44:26,788
- "every minute, day and night...
- I want that voice.

589
00:44:26,914 --> 00:44:31,084
- "my soul has been full of mysterious anticipations.
- My soul has been...

590
00:44:31,210 --> 00:44:34,671
- ... full of mysterious anticipation.
- "I feel the approach of happiness.

591
00:44:34,756 --> 00:44:37,215
"Anya, I see it coming."

592
00:44:42,430 --> 00:44:43,805
Yeah?

593
00:44:43,890 --> 00:44:45,631
<i>MAXINE: Mr. John Malkovich?</i>

594
00:44:45,632 --> 00:44:46,308
Yeah. Who's calling?

595
00:44:46,392 --> 00:44:48,352
<i>Oh, my goodness!</i>

596
00:44:48,436 --> 00:44:50,812
<i>You don't know me,
but I know you.</i>

597
00:44:50,897 --> 00:44:53,065
<i>I'm a great admirer of yours.</i>

598
00:44:53,900 --> 00:44:55,734
How did you get this number?

599
00:44:56,277 --> 00:45:00,864
<i>Well... it's just that I-
I- I dream about you.</i>

600
00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:05,369
<i>And well, even speaking to you now has
gotten me sort of excited, you know?</i>

601
00:45:05,453 --> 00:45:08,663
LOTTE: Wow, the way
this woman's talking to him.

602
00:45:09,582 --> 00:45:11,792
Listen, I really don't
find this amusing.

603
00:45:11,918 --> 00:45:13,752
Don't call here
anymore, okay?

604
00:45:13,836 --> 00:45:14,838
<i>Well!</i>

605
00:45:14,839 --> 00:45:17,339
<i>My nipples are at attention,
General Malkovich, sir.</i>

606
00:45:17,423 --> 00:45:20,050
What, her nipples?

607
00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:22,803
<i>So, listen, why don't we
have dinner tonight?</i>

608
00:45:22,887 --> 00:45:27,201
<i>Bernardo's? 8:00?
I really want to see you.</i>

609
00:45:27,202 --> 00:45:30,143
<i>l just loved you
in that jewel thief movie.</i>

610
00:45:34,482 --> 00:45:36,233
LOTTE: You're not gonna
meet her there?

611
00:45:36,359 --> 00:45:37,776
Come on!

612
00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:40,337
Meet her. Meet her there.
Meet her there!

613
00:45:40,338 --> 00:45:41,154
Meet her there!

614
00:45:42,156 --> 00:45:46,118
<i>MALKOVICH ON TAPE: I am sick,
anxious, poor as a beggar.</i>

615
00:45:47,370 --> 00:45:51,832
Meet her there! Meet her
there! Meet her there!

616
00:45:51,958 --> 00:45:53,917
<i>Everywhere.</i>

617
00:45:54,001 --> 00:45:55,669
<i>But wherever I have been,</i>

618
00:45:55,670 --> 00:45:57,379
<i>every minute, day and night...</i>

619
00:45:57,463 --> 00:46:00,173
Meet her there. Meet her
there. Meet her there.

620
00:46:00,258 --> 00:46:01,425
Yes!

621
00:46:07,807 --> 00:46:09,349
How was it?

622
00:46:09,642 --> 00:46:12,561
I have to go back
at 8:00 exactly, tonight.

623
00:46:13,729 --> 00:46:15,272
Why?

624
00:46:15,356 --> 00:46:16,773
Don't crowd me, Craig.

625
00:46:26,617 --> 00:46:28,785
Excuse me.
Are you John Malkovich?

626
00:46:28,870 --> 00:46:29,953
Yes, I am.

627
00:46:30,037 --> 00:46:34,624
Wow. You really are great in that
movie where you play that retard.

628
00:46:34,709 --> 00:46:36,668
Oh, thank you very much.

629
00:46:36,752 --> 00:46:38,295
I have a cousin
who's a retard.

630
00:46:38,379 --> 00:46:39,421
Oh. Thank you.

631
00:46:39,505 --> 00:46:41,339
So, as you might imagine,

632
00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:46,052
it means a lot to me
to see retards

633
00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:49,181
portrayed on the silver
screen so compassionately.

634
00:46:49,265 --> 00:46:52,100
Well, thank you very much.
I appreciate it.

635
00:46:52,435 --> 00:46:54,060
Good night.

636
00:46:56,564 --> 00:46:57,731
LOTTE: Maxine?

637
00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:00,692
It's Maxine.
Hi.

638
00:47:00,776 --> 00:47:02,861
I'm so glad
you decided to come.

639
00:47:02,945 --> 00:47:04,237
I'm Maxine.

640
00:47:04,322 --> 00:47:06,323
I'm John.
How do you do?

641
00:47:06,824 --> 00:47:08,492
Good.

642
00:47:11,704 --> 00:47:13,914
I wasn't sure
I was going to come...

643
00:47:13,998 --> 00:47:16,750
but I felt, uh,
oddly compelled.

644
00:47:18,336 --> 00:47:20,629
You're so beautiful.

645
00:47:20,630 --> 00:47:21,755
The way you're looking at me...

646
00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:24,591
I mean, at him... At us.

647
00:47:29,013 --> 00:47:32,432
I've never been looked at
like this by a woman before.

648
00:47:33,267 --> 00:47:34,851
I think I'm sweating.

649
00:47:34,936 --> 00:47:37,479
I must say, I was
intrigued by your voice.

650
00:47:38,564 --> 00:47:41,708
And the funny thing is,
Mr. Malkovich,

651
00:47:41,709 --> 00:47:44,528
my voice is probably
the least intriguing thing about me.

652
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:51,910
So, I mean...

653
00:47:51,994 --> 00:47:54,454
So, how was it?
What was he doing?

654
00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:56,533
He wasn't doing anything
really.

655
00:47:56,534 --> 00:47:58,375
He was just
hanging around his apartment.

656
00:47:58,459 --> 00:48:02,754
I think he's probably just
a really, uh, lonely guy.

657
00:48:03,172 --> 00:48:05,715
See, men can feel
unfulfilled, too, Lotte.

658
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:07,551
I'm glad you're coming
to realize that.

659
00:48:07,635 --> 00:48:09,928
You shouldn't be so quick to
assume that switching bodies

660
00:48:10,012 --> 00:48:12,973
is gonna be the answer
to your problems.

661
00:48:14,058 --> 00:48:16,476
You're right, Craig.
You're right.

662
00:48:19,021 --> 00:48:21,690
You know what I was thinking?
I was thinking that maybe

663
00:48:21,774 --> 00:48:24,568
we should invite Maxine
over for dinner one night

664
00:48:24,652 --> 00:48:27,737
because you guys are partners and I
thought that might be a really nice gesture.

665
00:48:27,822 --> 00:48:29,416
I think
she'd like that.

666
00:48:29,417 --> 00:48:30,824
Maxine?
What?

667
00:48:31,701 --> 00:48:34,786
The thing is, there's been
some tension between us at work,

668
00:48:34,870 --> 00:48:36,162
business stuff,

669
00:48:36,247 --> 00:48:37,747
and I would hate to
expose you to that.

670
00:48:37,832 --> 00:48:40,000
It'll be okay.

671
00:48:40,418 --> 00:48:41,793
I'll cook my lasagna,

672
00:48:41,877 --> 00:48:44,087
we'll smoke a joint,

673
00:48:45,089 --> 00:48:47,507
and tensions
will just melt away.

674
00:48:48,467 --> 00:48:51,972
Now, when you say that I can be
somebody else,

675
00:48:51,973 --> 00:48:53,156
what do you mean exactly?

676
00:48:53,264 --> 00:48:56,932
Well, we mean exactly that.

677
00:48:56,933 --> 00:48:59,697
We can put you inside
someone else's body

678
00:48:59,698 --> 00:49:00,854
for 15 minutes.

679
00:49:01,814 --> 00:49:04,190
Can I be anybody
that I wanna be?

680
00:49:05,526 --> 00:49:08,695
Well... You...
Actually...

681
00:49:09,113 --> 00:49:10,864
You can be John Malkovich.

682
00:49:10,948 --> 00:49:12,532
That's perfect!

683
00:49:12,617 --> 00:49:16,244
It's my second choice,
but it's wonderful. It's...

684
00:49:19,832 --> 00:49:21,499
I'm a fat man.

685
00:49:22,084 --> 00:49:24,419
I am sad and fat...
$200?

686
00:49:26,047 --> 00:49:27,881
Oh. Oh, uh, yes.

687
00:49:36,307 --> 00:49:39,267
Okay.
You gotta crawl in there.

688
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:41,061
Oh, my God.

689
00:49:59,330 --> 00:50:00,455
MALKOVICH:
No, that's what I'm saying.

690
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:03,333
See, I don't really need
an extra bathmat.

691
00:50:03,417 --> 00:50:06,252
So if I get the set,
would it be possible

692
00:50:06,337 --> 00:50:11,132
if I could just get maybe
three extra hand towels...

693
00:50:12,093 --> 00:50:14,928
Uh, if I get the set
instead of the bathmat?

694
00:50:15,012 --> 00:50:17,013
<i>WOMAN ON PHONE: Yes, sir.
Sure, we can do that.</i>

695
00:50:17,098 --> 00:50:18,515
Great. That sounds good.

696
00:50:18,599 --> 00:50:22,352
And for the color, periwinkle?

697
00:50:22,728 --> 00:50:25,021
<i>Oh, I'm sorry. We're out
of stock in periwinkle.</i>

698
00:50:25,106 --> 00:50:27,273
<i>Do you want to back order?</i>

699
00:50:27,775 --> 00:50:31,569
No. I'll, uh,
go with the loden.

700
00:50:31,779 --> 00:50:33,863
<i>Would you like to order
anything else?</i>

701
00:50:33,948 --> 00:50:39,744
What is the difference between the
foot-pampering looped cotton rug

702
00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:42,497
and the bathmat?

703
00:50:57,847 --> 00:51:00,014
You're my friends.
Thank you.

704
00:51:00,641 --> 00:51:03,935
Did you know that
Eskimos have not one,

705
00:51:05,187 --> 00:51:09,023
but, 49 words for snow?

706
00:51:10,359 --> 00:51:11,359
MAXINE: Mmm.

707
00:51:11,444 --> 00:51:14,112
It's because
they have so much of it.

708
00:51:17,825 --> 00:51:19,826
So much snow.

709
00:51:21,662 --> 00:51:23,997
After dinner,
I'll show you my puppets.

710
00:51:24,081 --> 00:51:25,081
Ah.

711
00:51:25,166 --> 00:51:28,501
After dinner, I'll introduce
you to my chimp Elijah.

712
00:51:30,212 --> 00:51:34,132
He has an ulcer right now due
to suppressed childhood trauma.

713
00:51:34,675 --> 00:51:35,967
But we're working through it.

714
00:51:39,430 --> 00:51:41,222
Psychotherapy.

715
00:51:41,307 --> 00:51:42,390
Oh.

716
00:52:01,535 --> 00:52:03,328
This the bedroom?

717
00:52:03,454 --> 00:52:05,413
Yeah.

718
00:52:07,208 --> 00:52:09,918
The thing is,
the way that I see it,

719
00:52:10,002 --> 00:52:12,921
is, I think
the world is divided

720
00:52:13,005 --> 00:52:15,298
into those
who go after what they want

721
00:52:15,382 --> 00:52:18,142
and then those who don't, right?

722
00:52:18,143 --> 00:52:18,619
- Right.
- I mean,

723
00:52:18,620 --> 00:52:20,122
the passionate ones,

724
00:52:20,123 --> 00:52:21,971
the ones who go after
what they want,

725
00:52:22,056 --> 00:52:25,739
well, they may not get
what they want.

726
00:52:28,312 --> 00:52:31,147
But, at least
they remain vital.

727
00:52:31,232 --> 00:52:32,471
Yeah.
CRAIG: Yeah.

728
00:52:32,472 --> 00:52:37,946
So when they lie on their death
beds, they have, um, few regrets.

729
00:52:38,614 --> 00:52:39,906
Right?

730
00:52:44,912 --> 00:52:47,997
And the ones who don't
go after what they want,

731
00:52:48,082 --> 00:52:51,584
well, who gives a shit
about them, anyway?

732
00:52:54,755 --> 00:52:57,090
God! Craig!
Lotte!

733
00:52:58,300 --> 00:53:01,337
I don't find you attractive, hmm?

734
00:53:01,338 --> 00:53:01,970
And, Lotte,

735
00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:05,306
I'm smitten with you.

736
00:53:05,391 --> 00:53:08,101
I am, but only
when you're in Malkovich.

737
00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:11,229
When I looked into his eyes last night,
I could feel you peering out.

738
00:53:11,313 --> 00:53:12,939
Really?
Yeah.

739
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:15,849
Behind the stubble
and the too prominent brow

740
00:53:15,850 --> 00:53:17,777
and the male-pattern baldness,

741
00:53:17,862 --> 00:53:20,238
I sensed
your feminine longing.

742
00:53:21,198 --> 00:53:23,992
And it just slew me.

743
00:53:24,076 --> 00:53:25,577
Oh, my God!

744
00:53:26,537 --> 00:53:27,745
Oh!

745
00:53:28,122 --> 00:53:30,123
Only as John, sweetie.

746
00:53:30,749 --> 00:53:32,083
Sorry.

747
00:53:33,794 --> 00:53:36,296
Hey, thanks for
a wonderful dinner.

748
00:53:37,631 --> 00:53:39,716
No hard feelings, partner?

749
00:53:57,318 --> 00:53:58,456
<i>J.M. Inc.</i>

750
00:53:58,457 --> 00:53:59,736
<i>Hi. It's Lotte.</i>

751
00:54:00,487 --> 00:54:02,989
<i>I'd like very much
to see you again.</i>

752
00:54:03,657 --> 00:54:06,451
<i>Can you call him
and invite yourself over?</i>

753
00:54:06,952 --> 00:54:08,828
Um, when?

754
00:54:10,998 --> 00:54:14,792
<i>Mmm, tonight,
after you close?</i>

755
00:54:15,461 --> 00:54:18,463
Okay, uh, 4: 11.

756
00:54:20,132 --> 00:54:21,633
4: 11?

757
00:54:22,092 --> 00:54:23,760
<i>Thank you, Maxine.</i>

758
00:54:23,969 --> 00:54:25,595
You're welcome.

759
00:54:54,625 --> 00:54:57,418
Thanks so much for
having me over, sugarplum.

760
00:54:57,503 --> 00:54:59,295
I'm glad you called.

761
00:54:59,380 --> 00:55:01,464
Shall we to the boudoir?

762
00:55:05,052 --> 00:55:07,345
A couple of minutes.
I'm early.

763
00:55:22,861 --> 00:55:26,447
So do-do you enjoy being
an actor?

764
00:55:29,493 --> 00:55:32,495
Sure. Yeah.
It's-It's very rewarding.

765
00:55:50,389 --> 00:55:53,433
Hi.

766
00:56:07,740 --> 00:56:09,824
LOTTE:
Oh, my sweet Maxine.

767
00:56:10,492 --> 00:56:12,827
My darling.
I love you, Lotte.

768
00:56:19,460 --> 00:56:21,669
Did you call me Lotte?

769
00:56:26,925 --> 00:56:28,551
Do you mind?

770
00:56:31,388 --> 00:56:33,139
No, not really.

771
00:56:34,475 --> 00:56:36,059
Oh!
LOTTE: Oh, God.

772
00:56:36,143 --> 00:56:38,853
My sweet, beautiful Lotte.
Oh!

773
00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:41,147
Oh, Maxine!

774
00:56:41,231 --> 00:56:43,566
MALKOVICH:
Yes, Maxine. Yes.

775
00:56:43,650 --> 00:56:46,444
LOTTE: Maxine, this is
- this is so right.

776
00:56:46,528 --> 00:56:48,821
LOTTE: Oh! Oh, God.

777
00:56:58,624 --> 00:57:01,209
LOTTE: Yes! Wow!
MALKOVICH: Yes! Wow!

778
00:57:36,078 --> 00:57:38,287
You were him, weren't you?

779
00:57:38,372 --> 00:57:39,497
Yeah.

780
00:57:39,581 --> 00:57:41,374
And he was with her!

781
00:57:42,459 --> 00:57:43,584
We love her, Craig.

782
00:57:43,669 --> 00:57:44,836
"We"?

783
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:45,962
John and me.

784
00:57:46,046 --> 00:57:47,088
Don't forget about me!

785
00:57:47,172 --> 00:57:49,465
Well, you have the Maxine
action figure to play with!

786
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:54,387
I'm sorry. That was nasty.

787
00:58:24,334 --> 00:58:26,586
You are late,
my little cowboy.

788
00:58:29,506 --> 00:58:31,924
Are you torturing me
on purpose?

789
00:58:32,885 --> 00:58:34,594
I've fallen in love.

790
00:58:35,053 --> 00:58:36,971
I don't think so.

791
00:58:37,097 --> 00:58:39,932
You know why?
Because I've fallen in love!

792
00:58:40,142 --> 00:58:42,268
And this is what people who
have fallen in love look like.

793
00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:45,021
Well, you picked
the unrequited variety.

794
00:58:45,105 --> 00:58:47,356
It's very bad for the skin.

795
00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:53,487
You're evil, Maxine.

796
00:58:53,864 --> 00:58:57,200
Do you have any idea what it's
like to have two people look at you

797
00:58:57,284 --> 00:59:01,287
with total lust and devotion
through the same pair of eyes?

798
00:59:03,707 --> 00:59:04,957
Wow.

799
00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:07,627
No, I don't suppose you would.

800
00:59:07,711 --> 00:59:09,420
It's quite a thrill, Craigy.

801
00:59:57,511 --> 00:59:59,762
Ahh! What are you doing?

802
00:59:59,846 --> 01:00:01,597
Oh, my God! Is that real?

803
01:00:01,682 --> 01:00:02,682
Yes!
What is that?

804
01:00:02,766 --> 01:00:04,308
I don't know
how to use it very well,

805
01:00:04,434 --> 01:00:07,144
so don't
make any sudden moves!

806
01:00:09,648 --> 01:00:12,400
I'm serious! I'm serious.

807
01:00:12,526 --> 01:00:14,026
Suck my dick!

808
01:00:15,529 --> 01:00:17,905
Shut up, okay?
Just shut up.

809
01:00:34,214 --> 01:00:35,339
Craig!

810
01:00:35,468 --> 01:00:37,634


811
01:00:38,051 --> 01:00:41,512
<i>MAXINE: J.M. Inc.
Be all that someone else can be.</i>

812
01:00:42,306 --> 01:00:43,806
I need to see you.

813
01:00:43,890 --> 01:00:45,391
<i>Sweetie!</i>

814
01:00:46,059 --> 01:00:48,644
<i>Oh, I had so much fun
with you last night.</i>

815
01:00:48,729 --> 01:00:50,938
<i>Shoot.
But it's business hours.</i>

816
01:00:52,691 --> 01:00:56,319
Tell her what the hell,
close early, live dangerously.

817
01:00:56,403 --> 01:00:57,820
Say it.

818
01:00:59,781 --> 01:01:02,241
What the hell, you know?

819
01:01:04,453 --> 01:01:07,121
Live dangerously. Close early.

820
01:01:07,205 --> 01:01:08,748
<i>Ooh, doll.</i>

821
01:01:08,957 --> 01:01:11,959
<i>l love this new
devil-may-care side of you.</i>

822
01:01:13,378 --> 01:01:16,213
<i>All righty. I'll track down lover boy</i>

823
01:01:16,214 --> 01:01:17,673
<i>and see both of you in one hour.</i>

824
01:01:17,758 --> 01:01:19,300
<i>Exactamundo.</i>

825
01:01:24,806 --> 01:01:26,307
Craig!

826
01:01:27,392 --> 01:01:29,852
What's the matter with you?
Stop it!

827
01:01:29,936 --> 01:01:32,938
Sit up, okay?
Just sit up. Just sit up.

828
01:01:40,906 --> 01:01:44,241
Help!
He's locking me in a cage!

829
01:01:46,286 --> 01:01:47,995
Shut up!

830
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:49,830
Shut up!

831
01:02:01,134 --> 01:02:03,969
Was ever woman
in this humor wooed?

832
01:02:04,638 --> 01:02:07,390
Was ever woman
in this humor won?

833
01:02:13,438 --> 01:02:15,314
Tommy, can I take 15?

834
01:02:17,818 --> 01:02:22,196
MAN: Good night, everybody. See
you back here at 9:00 p.m. tomorrow.

835
01:02:27,702 --> 01:02:28,702
Oh!

836
01:02:28,829 --> 01:02:30,996
Oh, Lotte.

837
01:02:31,832 --> 01:02:34,125
Lotte, this is so good!

838
01:02:35,836 --> 01:02:38,170
CRAIG: My God! This is amazing. Lotte!

839
01:02:39,005 --> 01:02:41,111
I want to touch her breast.

840
01:02:41,112 --> 01:02:42,091
Touch her breast.

841
01:02:42,676 --> 01:02:44,927
Move right hand
across left breast now.

842
01:02:45,011 --> 01:02:45,306
Lotte!

843
01:02:45,307 --> 01:02:47,471
Move right hand
across left breast now!

844
01:02:47,556 --> 01:02:49,899
Move right hand
across left breast now.

845
01:02:49,900 --> 01:02:50,766
Holy shit, yes!

846
01:02:50,851 --> 01:02:52,518
Holy shit, yes!

847
01:02:52,651 --> 01:02:54,103
Holy shit,
he said what I said!

848
01:02:54,187 --> 01:02:56,188
Shit, he said what I said!

849
01:02:56,481 --> 01:02:59,108
Lotte? Is that you?

850
01:02:59,192 --> 01:03:00,609
Yes, yes, sweetheart.

851
01:03:00,694 --> 01:03:02,570
Yes, sweetheart, yes.

852
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:04,864
What the fuck is going on?

853
01:03:04,948 --> 01:03:06,907
That's not me!
I didn't say that.

854
01:03:06,992 --> 01:03:08,159
Oh, Lotte.

855
01:03:08,243 --> 01:03:09,535
Oh, Maxine. Oh...

856
01:03:11,997 --> 01:03:14,165
Something was making me talk.

857
01:03:14,249 --> 01:03:17,251
Some goddamn thing
was making me move.

858
01:03:17,335 --> 01:03:20,275
I've gotta get out of here.
Oh, doll face!

859
01:03:20,276 --> 01:03:23,257
It was just, uh, your
passion for me taking hold.

860
01:03:23,550 --> 01:03:25,324
No, doll face.

861
01:03:25,325 --> 01:03:28,387
I know what my
passion taking hold feels like.

862
01:03:28,472 --> 01:03:29,638
Bye!

863
01:03:29,931 --> 01:03:31,307
I did it!

864
01:03:32,434 --> 01:03:36,729
I made him move his arms across
your girlfriend's glorious tit!

865
01:03:37,439 --> 01:03:41,108
Oh, and
I made him talk sort of.

866
01:03:42,486 --> 01:03:44,403
It's just a matter of practice

867
01:03:44,404 --> 01:03:49,492
before Malkovich is nothing more than
another puppet hanging next to my work table.

868
01:03:51,865 --> 01:03:53,996
I'll tell you about it when
I get home, okay? All right?

869
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:57,583
Craig! Craig!
I wanna...

870
01:04:07,719 --> 01:04:09,678
No, man, I'm sorry to...

871
01:04:09,763 --> 01:04:12,527
I'm sorry to have
called you like that,

872
01:04:12,528 --> 01:04:14,934
but I was just really,
really scared.

873
01:04:15,185 --> 01:04:16,852
I was so freaked out.

874
01:04:16,937 --> 01:04:22,024
I mean, it was like somebody was
just moving all the way through me,

875
01:04:22,108 --> 01:04:24,985
moving my arms, moving
my hands, talking for me.

876
01:04:25,070 --> 01:04:28,364
I mean, literally, I feel
like I'm going crazy, Charlie.

877
01:04:28,448 --> 01:04:30,199
I'm sure
you're not going crazy.

878
01:04:30,283 --> 01:04:31,484
You don't understand, man.

879
01:04:31,485 --> 01:04:32,618
It was like nothing
I've ever felt before.

880
01:04:32,702 --> 01:04:35,621
Yeah, yada, yada, yada.
Were you stoned?

881
01:04:35,705 --> 01:04:37,915
Yes. Yes, I was... Jesus.

882
01:04:40,794 --> 01:04:43,128
Yes! Yes, I was stoned.

883
01:04:43,630 --> 01:04:46,257
But what... That doesn't have
anything to do with it.

884
01:04:46,341 --> 01:04:48,884
Charlie, someone was talking
through my mouth.

885
01:04:48,969 --> 01:04:50,928
You were stoned.

886
01:04:51,012 --> 01:04:53,138
Case closed. End of story.

887
01:04:54,057 --> 01:04:56,642
How hot is this babe?
You know what?

888
01:04:57,143 --> 01:04:59,895
Maybe it was this
Lotte woman talking

889
01:04:59,980 --> 01:05:02,773
because it could have been her
talking through me.

890
01:05:02,857 --> 01:05:04,534
Because this...

891
01:05:04,535 --> 01:05:08,161
The weird thing is this
Maxine likes to call me Lotte.

892
01:05:08,530 --> 01:05:11,824
Ouch. That is hot.

893
01:05:11,825 --> 01:05:14,228
Maybe she's using you to
channel some dead,

894
01:05:14,229 --> 01:05:15,411
lesbian lover.

895
01:05:15,495 --> 01:05:18,164
Sounds like my kind of gal. Let me
know when you're done with her, yeah?

896
01:05:18,165 --> 01:05:22,209
What are you talking about? Done with
her, man? Tonight really freaked me out.

897
01:05:22,294 --> 01:05:24,753
You're nuts to let a girl go
that calls you Lotte.

898
01:05:24,838 --> 01:05:25,921
I'll tell you that
as a friend.

899
01:05:26,006 --> 01:05:28,507
Charlie, I don't know
anything about the girl.

900
01:05:28,592 --> 01:05:30,968
She could be, like,
a fucking witch or something.

901
01:05:31,052 --> 01:05:32,761
That's even better!

902
01:05:32,846 --> 01:05:36,515
Hot, lesbian witches. Think
about it. It's fucking genius.

903
01:05:38,685 --> 01:05:41,020
I gotta know the truth,
Charlie.

904
01:05:42,022 --> 01:05:44,607
The truth is for suckers,
Johnny boy.

905
01:06:28,777 --> 01:06:30,152
Thanks.

906
01:06:30,626 --> 01:06:32,523


907
01:07:19,077 --> 01:07:24,331
Excuse me, sir. Exactly what, uh, type of
service does this company provide?

908
01:07:24,582 --> 01:07:27,459
You get to be John Malkovich
for 15 minutes.

909
01:07:27,961 --> 01:07:29,920
Two hundred clams.

910
01:07:32,173 --> 01:07:33,549
I see.

911
01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:36,552
No cutting, by the way. No cutting!
MAN: Hey, what the hell?

912
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:46,019
Come on! Break it up!
Break it up! Cut it out!

913
01:07:46,146 --> 01:07:47,479
Everybody gets...

914
01:07:47,564 --> 01:07:49,314
MAN: It's him.
It's John Malkovich.

915
01:07:49,399 --> 01:07:51,817
I'm sorry, Mr. Malkovich. I hope
we didn't hurt you too terribly.

916
01:07:51,901 --> 01:07:53,360
Get inside!

917
01:07:55,113 --> 01:07:57,823
Darling!
What the fuck is going on?

918
01:07:57,907 --> 01:08:00,159
CRAIG: Uh, uh, John Malkovich.
Huh?

919
01:08:00,243 --> 01:08:02,161
Mr. Malkovich, sir.

920
01:08:05,165 --> 01:08:07,986
Mr. Malkovich,
I think I can explain.

921
01:08:07,987 --> 01:08:09,251
Yeah, explain.

922
01:08:09,335 --> 01:08:11,420
My name is Craig Schwartz

923
01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:14,256
and we operate
a little business here

924
01:08:14,340 --> 01:08:17,509
that simulates,
for our clientele, well, the...

925
01:08:18,178 --> 01:08:22,473
the experience of- of-
of being you, actually.

926
01:08:22,682 --> 01:08:23,766
Simulates?

927
01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:25,601
Yeah, after a fashion.

928
01:08:25,685 --> 01:08:27,728
What exactly does that mean?

929
01:08:27,812 --> 01:08:29,480
Well, it's hard to describe.

930
01:08:29,564 --> 01:08:30,647
I want to do it then.

931
01:08:30,732 --> 01:08:32,775
That would pale in comparison
to the actual experience.

932
01:08:32,859 --> 01:08:34,151
I want to do it!

933
01:08:34,235 --> 01:08:35,778
Right now
Mr. Hiroshi's in the tube...

934
01:08:35,862 --> 01:08:37,738
Let him do it, Craig.

935
01:08:38,323 --> 01:08:40,449
Of course.
Right this way, Mr. Malkovich,

936
01:08:40,533 --> 01:08:42,534
compliments of the house.

937
01:08:50,376 --> 01:08:52,169
Jesus.

938
01:09:07,393 --> 01:09:10,729
What happens when a man
goes through his own portal?

939
01:09:12,065 --> 01:09:13,398
We'll see.

940
01:09:44,430 --> 01:09:46,306
Malkovich.

941
01:09:47,100 --> 01:09:52,479
Malkovich, Malkovich.

942
01:09:52,605 --> 01:09:54,982
Malkovich, Malkovich,
Malkovich?

943
01:09:55,066 --> 01:09:56,942
Malkovich, Malkovich.

944
01:09:57,277 --> 01:09:58,694
Malkovich?

945
01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:08,662
Malkovich!

946
01:10:08,746 --> 01:10:10,343
Malkovich.

947
01:10:15,420 --> 01:10:17,671
Malkovich. Malkovich.

948
01:10:21,968 --> 01:10:23,552
Malkovich!

949
01:10:23,636 --> 01:10:30,142
<i>Malkovich, Malkovich</i>

950
01:10:30,268 --> 01:10:34,229
Malkovich.
Malkovich.

951
01:10:34,898 --> 01:10:42,154
<i>Malkovich, Malkovich</i>

952
01:10:42,739 --> 01:10:45,532
<i>Malkovich, Malkovich
Malkovich!</i>

953
01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:54,791
How was it?

954
01:10:54,876 --> 01:10:56,460
It was amazing this time.

955
01:10:56,544 --> 01:10:58,128
That was no simulation!

956
01:10:58,212 --> 01:10:59,922
I know. I'm sorry.

957
01:11:00,006 --> 01:11:01,381
It's such an honor.

958
01:11:01,466 --> 01:11:03,091
I have been to the dark side.

959
01:11:03,176 --> 01:11:05,836
I have seen a world
that no man should see!

960
01:11:05,837 --> 01:11:09,056
Really? For most people, it's
a rather pleasant experience.

961
01:11:09,140 --> 01:11:10,766
That portal is mine,

962
01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:13,145
and it must be sealed forever

963
01:11:13,146 --> 01:11:14,645
for the love of God.

964
01:11:15,980 --> 01:11:19,399
But, Mr. Malkovich, sir,
with all due respect,

965
01:11:19,943 --> 01:11:21,687
I discovered that portal.

966
01:11:21,688 --> 01:11:23,779
It's my livelihood.
Do you understand?

967
01:11:23,863 --> 01:11:26,753
It's my head, Schwartz!

968
01:11:26,754 --> 01:11:28,325
It's my head!

969
01:11:29,744 --> 01:11:31,828
I will see you in court!

970
01:11:34,540 --> 01:11:37,718
What makes you think I won't be
seeing what you're seeing

971
01:11:37,719 --> 01:11:39,086
in court?

972
01:11:39,170 --> 01:11:41,129
Hey, Malkovich, think fast!

973
01:11:43,424 --> 01:11:44,633
Fuck!

974
01:11:45,593 --> 01:11:47,094
Dinner.

975
01:11:48,137 --> 01:11:51,971
You know, Craig,
once this was a relationship

976
01:11:51,972 --> 01:11:53,183
built on love.

977
01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:56,869
Well, you gave up that claim

978
01:11:56,870 --> 01:11:59,464
after the first time you stuck
your dick in Maxine, Lotte.

979
01:11:59,465 --> 01:12:01,566
You fell in love with her
first, Craig.

980
01:12:01,651 --> 01:12:06,279
Yeah, but I didn't do anything about
it, out of respect for our marriage.

981
01:12:06,572 --> 01:12:09,324
You didn't do anything
about it, Craig,

982
01:12:09,909 --> 01:12:15,038
out of respect for the fact that she wouldn't
let you near her with a ten-foot pole!

983
01:12:21,295 --> 01:12:22,713
That's true.

984
01:12:27,260 --> 01:12:29,678
God, Lotte,
what have I become?

985
01:12:32,223 --> 01:12:34,433
My wife in a cage
with a monkey.

986
01:12:34,730 --> 01:12:36,436
Craig.

987
01:12:36,437 --> 01:12:38,979
I need to go to the bathroom
and take a shower.

988
01:12:46,237 --> 01:12:48,822
What am I,
some kind of monster?

989
01:12:50,408 --> 01:12:53,160
I don't want to be a monster,
Lotte. I don't want to.

990
01:12:53,244 --> 01:12:55,662
Craig, you're not a monster.
No.

991
01:12:56,622 --> 01:12:58,498
I know you're not a monster,
honey.

992
01:12:58,583 --> 01:13:00,959
You're just- You're just

993
01:13:01,044 --> 01:13:04,629
a very, very confused man.

994
01:13:07,800 --> 01:13:09,593
I love you so much.

995
01:13:13,473 --> 01:13:15,416
I love you.

996
01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:26,234
Come on, Craig.

997
01:13:34,786 --> 01:13:36,995
<i>J.M. Inc.
LOTTE: Maxine?</i>

998
01:13:37,872 --> 01:13:39,164
Lotte.

999
01:13:39,916 --> 01:13:42,667
I've been thinking about us,
you know? And, uh...

1000
01:13:42,752 --> 01:13:44,169
We habe to meet.

1001
01:13:44,253 --> 01:13:47,380
Um, okay. I'll see you
in Malkovich in one hour.

1002
01:13:48,174 --> 01:13:50,008
Craig!

1003
01:13:51,114 --> 01:13:54,054
I hate you.

1004
01:14:31,439 --> 01:14:34,130


1005
01:14:35,638 --> 01:14:37,876


1006
01:14:42,994 --> 01:14:44,647


1007
01:15:14,257 --> 01:15:15,713
Oh, Elijah!

1008
01:15:16,206 --> 01:15:17,804
You really are magnificent.

1009
01:15:22,310 --> 01:15:24,186
<i>J.M. Inc.
LOTTE: Maxine!</i>

1010
01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:27,022
Honey pie! I was just heading
out the door to meet you.

1011
01:15:27,106 --> 01:15:31,109
No, listen, Maxine. It hasn't
been me in Malkovich the last time.

1012
01:15:31,194 --> 01:15:32,694
It's been that
son of a bitch, Craig.

1013
01:15:32,778 --> 01:15:36,542
He's had me locked in the cage
with my chimp, holding a gun to my head.

1014
01:15:36,543 --> 01:15:37,664
<i>He made me call you.
Oh, my God!</i>

1015
01:15:37,665 --> 01:15:40,151
<i>I'm sorry, Maxine.
It's been him the whole time.</i>

1016
01:15:40,152 --> 01:15:42,495
I'm so sorry.
That's horrible.

1017
01:15:42,580 --> 01:15:44,998
I miss you so much, Maxine.

1018
01:15:45,082 --> 01:15:46,499
So... But...

1019
01:15:47,001 --> 01:15:49,508
Okay, that was Craig
inside of Malkovich?

1020
01:15:49,509 --> 01:15:51,272
<i>Yes, it was him.</i>

1021
01:15:51,273 --> 01:15:52,964
It's because
he's a puppeteer, I think.

1022
01:15:53,466 --> 01:15:55,926
Well, boy, I'm, uh...

1023
01:15:56,677 --> 01:15:58,720
I'm surprised.
That's pretty impressive.

1024
01:15:58,804 --> 01:15:59,971
What?

1025
01:16:00,056 --> 01:16:02,599
<i>So if Craig
can control Malkovich,</i>

1026
01:16:02,767 --> 01:16:05,518
<i>and I can control Craig...
But, Maxine,</i>

1027
01:16:05,811 --> 01:16:08,271
I thought it was me
that you loved!

1028
01:16:08,981 --> 01:16:10,232
I do.

1029
01:16:14,987 --> 01:16:18,782
It's confusing, you know? This
is a very confusing situation.

1030
01:16:19,659 --> 01:16:20,951
<i>l know.</i>

1031
01:16:24,538 --> 01:16:28,592
Listen, I
should really get going, okay?

1032
01:16:28,593 --> 01:16:31,002
<i>'Cause I'm gonna be late
for Malkovich now.
No.</i>

1033
01:16:31,087 --> 01:16:32,170
What?

1034
01:16:32,255 --> 01:16:33,922
We'll talk about this later,
Lotte.

1035
01:16:34,006 --> 01:16:35,674
<i>Maxine! Wait!</i>

1036
01:16:36,801 --> 01:16:38,426
<i>Okay?
Maxine!</i>

1037
01:17:10,793 --> 01:17:12,919
What the fuck do you want?

1038
01:17:13,296 --> 01:17:16,006
I can explain
about the portal, darling.

1039
01:17:19,552 --> 01:17:21,970
Listen, don't con me, Maxine.

1040
01:17:22,054 --> 01:17:23,638
I don't know
who the hell you people are,

1041
01:17:23,723 --> 01:17:26,349
but this insanity is now over.

1042
01:17:26,434 --> 01:17:27,976
Oh, shut up.

1043
01:17:29,228 --> 01:17:31,479
Craigy. Craig.

1044
01:17:32,231 --> 01:17:33,940
Schwartzy, are you in there?

1045
01:17:39,113 --> 01:17:41,573
How did you
know it was me?

1046
01:17:41,657 --> 01:17:43,124
Lotte called me.

1047
01:17:43,125 --> 01:17:44,743
She escaped your evil clutches.

1048
01:17:46,579 --> 01:17:49,456
Really? Well, I'm really sorry
I did that, Maxine,

1049
01:17:49,540 --> 01:17:50,832
but I'm
really in love with you,

1050
01:17:50,916 --> 01:17:53,543
and I didn't know
how else to be with you.

1051
01:17:53,627 --> 01:17:54,794
Hmm.

1052
01:17:56,589 --> 01:17:59,174
Apparently you can control
this Malkovich fellow now?

1053
01:17:59,258 --> 01:18:01,760
Yes, I'm getting
better all the time.

1054
01:18:01,844 --> 01:18:03,636
I'll say you are.

1055
01:18:03,721 --> 01:18:06,765
Hey, let's do it
on his dining room table.

1056
01:18:07,350 --> 01:18:09,184
Then we'll make him
eat an omelet off of it.

1057
01:18:09,268 --> 01:18:10,810
No!

1058
01:18:10,895 --> 01:18:12,687
Shut up,
you overrated sack of shit!

1059
01:18:15,733 --> 01:18:16,941
Craigy.

1060
01:18:42,176 --> 01:18:43,426
Yes?

1061
01:18:44,678 --> 01:18:47,555
Hi, Dr. Lester.
It's Lotte Schwartz,

1062
01:18:48,974 --> 01:18:50,266
Craig's wife.

1063
01:18:50,351 --> 01:18:53,228
Oh! Yes. Oh, my God.

1064
01:18:53,312 --> 01:18:54,865
You'll catch your death out here.

1065
01:18:54,866 --> 01:18:56,306
Look at you. You're soaking wet.

1066
01:18:56,307 --> 01:18:58,316
Please come in, come in.

1067
01:19:05,408 --> 01:19:07,075
Here you are, my dear.

1068
01:19:07,159 --> 01:19:08,576
Thank you.

1069
01:19:10,079 --> 01:19:11,454
How's that?

1070
01:19:11,664 --> 01:19:13,665
Much better, thank you.

1071
01:19:13,999 --> 01:19:16,064
So, my dear,

1072
01:19:16,065 --> 01:19:18,263
what is it that brings you to my doorway

1073
01:19:18,264 --> 01:19:20,296
on such
an inhospitable evening?

1074
01:19:20,381 --> 01:19:22,048
Well, Dr. Lester,

1075
01:19:22,425 --> 01:19:24,008
see, I, uh...

1076
01:19:25,386 --> 01:19:28,888
I have a very unhealthy
obsession with John Malkovich.

1077
01:19:30,599 --> 01:19:32,016
I see.

1078
01:19:32,268 --> 01:19:34,394
You mean, the performer.

1079
01:19:35,563 --> 01:19:36,729
Yes.

1080
01:19:36,814 --> 01:19:40,859
And what prompted you
to come to me with this issue?

1081
01:19:41,360 --> 01:19:44,612
Well, when I was here
with my husband for dinner,

1082
01:19:45,948 --> 01:19:50,285
I came upon a room that seemed to be
some sort of John Malkovich museum.

1083
01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:53,872
So I thought
perhaps maybe you would

1084
01:19:54,039 --> 01:19:56,916
have some appreciation
for my state of mind.

1085
01:19:59,753 --> 01:20:01,880
You look so lovely, my dear,

1086
01:20:01,964 --> 01:20:05,758
standing here before the fire
in my oversized man's robe.

1087
01:20:08,220 --> 01:20:10,180
Thank you, Dr. Lester.

1088
01:20:12,558 --> 01:20:13,933
Tell me,

1089
01:20:14,727 --> 01:20:18,062
what is this strange power
that Malkovich exudes?

1090
01:20:18,898 --> 01:20:21,024
You've gotta help me
understand because

1091
01:20:21,108 --> 01:20:23,860
all I think about
is wanting to be him.

1092
01:20:25,321 --> 01:20:27,864
Wanting to what?
Wanting to be him.

1093
01:20:28,324 --> 01:20:30,742
Wanting to be John Malkovich.

1094
01:20:32,453 --> 01:20:33,953
Oh, I see.

1095
01:20:35,122 --> 01:20:38,041
Well, perhaps you can.

1096
01:20:39,210 --> 01:20:40,293
But, Dr. Lester...

1097
01:20:40,377 --> 01:20:43,588
I am not Dr. Lester.

1098
01:20:44,423 --> 01:20:46,257
I am Captain Mertin.

1099
01:20:47,593 --> 01:20:49,219
I don't understand.

1100
01:20:49,303 --> 01:20:53,848
It was 90 years ago that I
discovered a strange portal.

1101
01:20:53,933 --> 01:20:58,186
And... And I found that
this portal led to a vessel body

1102
01:20:58,270 --> 01:21:02,315
and that I could live forever
by leaping from vessel to vessel.

1103
01:21:05,778 --> 01:21:07,946
So Dr. Lester
is such a vessel?

1104
01:21:08,030 --> 01:21:09,614
Yes, he is.

1105
01:21:11,033 --> 01:21:13,034
You still there, sweets?

1106
01:21:13,118 --> 01:21:14,536
Hmm.

1107
01:21:17,289 --> 01:21:20,416
I figured out how to hang on
as long as I want.

1108
01:21:20,834 --> 01:21:24,170
It's all a matter of making
friends with the Malkovich body.

1109
01:21:24,255 --> 01:21:28,508
Rather than thinking of it as an enemy
that has to be pounded into submission,

1110
01:21:28,592 --> 01:21:32,422
I've begun imagining it as a really
expensive suit

1111
01:21:32,423 --> 01:21:33,471
that I enjoy wearing.

1112
01:21:42,111 --> 01:21:44,293
Ah, this illustrates

1113
01:21:44,294 --> 01:21:47,151
how I will move into
my next vessel, Malkovich,

1114
01:21:47,611 --> 01:21:49,404
on his 44th birthday.

1115
01:21:49,738 --> 01:21:51,489
That's when he becomes ripe.

1116
01:21:51,574 --> 01:21:54,534
But I must enter
by midnight on that day.

1117
01:21:54,618 --> 01:21:57,058
After that, I'd get diverted

1118
01:21:57,059 --> 01:21:59,330
into the next newly forming infant vessel.

1119
01:21:59,707 --> 01:22:01,416
I don't want that to happen.

1120
01:22:01,500 --> 01:22:03,293
I'd be absorbed.

1121
01:22:03,669 --> 01:22:05,295
Absorbed?
What does that mean?

1122
01:22:05,379 --> 01:22:09,674
Well, uh, trapped, held prisoner,
if you like, in the host's brain,

1123
01:22:09,842 --> 01:22:11,634
unable to control anything,

1124
01:22:11,719 --> 01:22:15,680
forever doomed to watch the
world through someone else's eyes.

1125
01:22:18,309 --> 01:22:20,476
Now I'd like you
to meet some friends.

1126
01:22:20,561 --> 01:22:22,812
See, I got lonely
in Lester by myself,

1127
01:22:22,896 --> 01:22:26,608
so I figured out a way this time
to take others along with me.

1128
01:22:26,692 --> 01:22:27,775
Come.

1129
01:22:33,324 --> 01:22:35,575
Everyone, this is Lotte.

1130
01:22:35,659 --> 01:22:37,285
Hi, Lotte!

1131
01:22:37,369 --> 01:22:39,245
She's a new friend of mine.

1132
01:22:44,668 --> 01:22:47,712
Do a puppet show for me,
Craig, honey.

1133
01:22:48,714 --> 01:22:50,798
You mean, with Malkovich?

1134
01:22:51,342 --> 01:22:53,157
I'd love to see your work.

1135
01:22:53,158 --> 01:22:53,509
Really?

1136
01:22:53,594 --> 01:22:55,219
Uh-huh.
Yeah?

1137
01:22:57,264 --> 01:22:58,556
Okay.

1138
01:23:07,691 --> 01:23:10,349
This is something that I call

1139
01:23:10,350 --> 01:23:13,696
"Craig's
Dance of Despair and Disillusionment."

1140
01:24:46,457 --> 01:24:50,501
That was incredible!
You're- You're brilliant!

1141
01:24:50,836 --> 01:24:54,464
You see, Maxine, it isn't
just playing with dolls.

1142
01:24:55,340 --> 01:24:57,742
Oh, my darling,
it's so much more!

1143
01:24:57,743 --> 01:25:00,011
It's playing with people.

1144
01:25:05,517 --> 01:25:07,477
Stay in him forever.

1145
01:25:10,147 --> 01:25:11,944
My darling,
how will we make a living

1146
01:25:11,945 --> 01:25:15,026
if our clientele doesn't have access
to our product?

1147
01:25:15,110 --> 01:25:18,946
Well, we'll have all the money
in Malkovich's bank account,

1148
01:25:19,031 --> 01:25:21,073
plus he does get
acting work occasionally.

1149
01:25:21,158 --> 01:25:23,034
No, please!

1150
01:25:23,660 --> 01:25:25,578
Shut up!
We're trying to think here.

1151
01:25:25,662 --> 01:25:26,871
Gee!

1152
01:25:28,540 --> 01:25:32,627
It is- It is sort of
like puppeteering.

1153
01:25:33,045 --> 01:25:35,213
I-I-I like that about it.

1154
01:25:35,547 --> 01:25:36,839
Exactly!

1155
01:25:37,841 --> 01:25:41,886
And no one would ever even
have to know it's not him.

1156
01:25:44,306 --> 01:25:47,308
And I could use
Malkovich's existing notoriety

1157
01:25:47,392 --> 01:25:50,061
to launch my own
puppeteering career.

1158
01:25:50,270 --> 01:25:52,980
Oh, Craigy.
Craigy, that's brilliant.

1159
01:25:53,065 --> 01:25:54,440
Oh. Oh.

1160
01:25:54,525 --> 01:25:55,608
So lovely.

1161
01:25:55,692 --> 01:25:58,569
I've always wondered what it
would be like to have a penis.

1162
01:25:58,654 --> 01:26:00,154
<i>Now I'll know.
LOTTE: Really?</i>

1163
01:26:00,239 --> 01:26:02,240
I know it's very...
Lotte?

1164
01:26:02,783 --> 01:26:04,325
We like you.

1165
01:26:04,576 --> 01:26:07,537
We can see you're a kind
and decent woman

1166
01:26:07,871 --> 01:26:09,747
and so,

1167
01:26:09,915 --> 01:26:11,995
we've decided to offer you

1168
01:26:11,996 --> 01:26:14,252
a place in John Malkovich with us,

1169
01:26:14,628 --> 01:26:16,254
if you like.

1170
01:26:20,843 --> 01:26:22,385
Dr. Lester,

1171
01:26:23,053 --> 01:26:25,581
you've been so kind to me

1172
01:26:25,582 --> 01:26:26,889
and trusting.

1173
01:26:27,724 --> 01:26:29,782
And...

1174
01:26:29,783 --> 01:26:33,563
there's just something I think you
should know about the Malkovich vessel.

1175
01:26:34,690 --> 01:26:36,607
<i>WOMAN ON SPEAKER: John's here
to see you. Should I send him in?</i>

1176
01:26:36,692 --> 01:26:38,059
Of course send him right in.

1177
01:26:38,060 --> 01:26:40,444
Don't ever keep him waiting again,
you understand?

1178
01:26:44,064 --> 01:26:45,700
Hey, John.

1179
01:26:45,909 --> 01:26:47,577
Great to see you.

1180
01:26:47,661 --> 01:26:49,370
Sorry about the cunt
at reception.

1181
01:26:49,454 --> 01:26:51,539
This is my fiancee,
Maxine.

1182
01:26:51,623 --> 01:26:53,374
Oh, great to see you,
Maxine.

1183
01:26:53,458 --> 01:26:54,584
Sorry about the cunt
at reception.

1184
01:26:54,668 --> 01:26:56,627
Please, have a seat.

1185
01:27:01,466 --> 01:27:04,510
Can I get you anything?
Coffee? Water?

1186
01:27:04,970 --> 01:27:06,470
No, thank you.

1187
01:27:06,847 --> 01:27:09,223
<i>Teresa, get me chicken soup.
Okay.</i>

1188
01:27:09,308 --> 01:27:11,309
Chicken soup?
Chicken soup?

1189
01:27:17,733 --> 01:27:21,982
Larry? Uh, I want to
get right to the point.

1190
01:27:21,983 --> 01:27:25,197
From now on, I'm no longer
an actor. I'm a puppeteer.

1191
01:27:26,325 --> 01:27:28,159
Okay. Great.

1192
01:27:32,998 --> 01:27:36,379
And I would like
to redirect my career

1193
01:27:36,380 --> 01:27:39,295
so that from now on
the name John Malkovich,

1194
01:27:39,296 --> 01:27:42,548
will be synonymous
with puppets.

1195
01:27:43,550 --> 01:27:45,468
Sure. Sure. No problemo.

1196
01:27:45,552 --> 01:27:47,094
Poof, you're a puppeteer.

1197
01:27:47,964 --> 01:27:49,639
Just let me
make a couple calls.

1198
01:28:04,390 --> 01:28:06,769


1199
01:28:12,454 --> 01:28:13,955
CRAIG: Honey?

1200
01:28:15,582 --> 01:28:17,875
Maxine? Maxine?

1201
01:28:18,627 --> 01:28:20,211
I'm busy.

1202
01:28:22,923 --> 01:28:24,924
Maxine, honey, it's on!

1203
01:28:33,642 --> 01:28:35,810
<i>Yeah, there's the truth,
and there are lies</i>

1204
01:28:35,894 --> 01:28:39,563
<i>and, uh, art always tells the
truth, even when it's lying.</i>

1205
01:28:39,648 --> 01:28:42,108
<i>MALE NARRATOR:
The enigmatic John Malkovich,</i>

1206
01:28:42,192 --> 01:28:44,151
<i>one of the world's
greatest entertainers</i>

1207
01:28:44,236 --> 01:28:47,488
<i>and the man who reinvented
how we view puppeteering.</i>

1208
01:28:47,572 --> 01:28:50,157
<i>Tonight we look at the man
above the strings</i>

1209
01:28:50,242 --> 01:28:52,576
<i>and the woman behind the man.</i>

1210
01:28:53,078 --> 01:28:54,893
<i>Raised in Evanston, Illinois,</i>

1211
01:28:54,894 --> 01:28:57,665
<i>Malkovich had a lifelong interest
in theater arts</i>

1212
01:28:57,749 --> 01:29:00,167
<i>and as a young man was
one of the founding members</i>

1213
01:29:00,252 --> 01:29:03,879
<i>of Chicago's world-renowned
Steppenwolf Theatre Company.</i>

1214
01:29:03,964 --> 01:29:07,745
<i>From there, it was a simple hop,
skip and a jump to Broadway accolades</i>

1215
01:29:07,746 --> 01:29:09,176
<i>and Hollywood stardom.</i>

1216
01:29:09,261 --> 01:29:13,347
<i>But nothing could prepare the
public for what was to come next.</i>

1217
01:29:14,099 --> 01:29:16,684
<i>And so it was that just
eight short months ago,</i>

1218
01:29:16,768 --> 01:29:19,042
<i>John Malkovich
dropped the bombshell</i>

1219
01:29:19,043 --> 01:29:21,897
<i>that sent shock waves through
the entertainment community.</i>

1220
01:29:21,982 --> 01:29:24,358
<i>Turning his back on
his former profession,</i>

1221
01:29:24,443 --> 01:29:26,485
<i>Malkovich had to
start from scratch</i>

1222
01:29:26,570 --> 01:29:30,603
<i>and pay his dues all over
again as a fledgling puppeteer.</i>

1223
01:29:30,958 --> 01:29:34,201
<i> Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
I'm John Malkovich.</i>

1224
01:29:34,453 --> 01:29:38,205
<i>It's-It's the... I miss...
I'm really John Malkovich.</i>

1225
01:29:39,041 --> 01:29:41,167
<i>From these
inauspicious beginnings...</i>

1226
01:29:41,251 --> 01:29:43,424
<i>John Malkovich's rise to
stardom</i>

1227
01:29:43,425 --> 01:29:45,171
<i>was fast and furious.</i>

1228
01:29:45,630 --> 01:29:48,299
<i>His breakout performance occurred
at this year's Emmy Awards...</i>

1229
01:29:48,633 --> 01:29:50,134
It's really good!

1230
01:29:50,218 --> 01:29:52,928
I look really amazing.
I'd fuck me.

1231
01:29:53,513 --> 01:29:55,556
<i>If there's anything
that upsets me about it,</i>

1232
01:29:55,640 --> 01:29:58,517
<i>it's feeling like
if I move into it too quickly,</i>

1233
01:29:58,602 --> 01:30:01,062
<i>I'll be, you know,
deemed an imitator.</i>

1234
01:30:01,146 --> 01:30:04,231
<i>But, um, I think that once
we all get the courage</i>

1235
01:30:04,316 --> 01:30:07,193
<i>to just follow through on our
instincts, like Malkovich has,</i>

1236
01:30:07,277 --> 01:30:10,154
<i>I think that, uh, a lot of us
will move into puppetry.</i>

1237
01:30:10,238 --> 01:30:11,822
<i>NARRATOR: Malkovich's
rise to fame</i>

1238
01:30:11,823 --> 01:30:14,241
<i>brought about
a renaissance in puppeteering.</i>

1239
01:30:14,326 --> 01:30:16,911
<i>No, no, no. What are you
doing? What are you doing?</i>

1240
01:30:16,995 --> 01:30:18,412
<i>I'm making him weep, John.</i>

1241
01:30:18,497 --> 01:30:21,665
<i>You're making him weep,
but you are not weeping.</i>

1242
01:30:21,750 --> 01:30:23,501
<i>Don't ever
with your audience.</i>

1243
01:30:23,585 --> 01:30:28,608
<i>Until the... the puppet becomes
an extension of you,</i>

1244
01:30:28,609 --> 01:30:32,343
<i>it's a novelty act. It's, uh...
It's Topo Gigio.</i>

1245
01:30:32,594 --> 01:30:34,011
<i>No?</i>

1246
01:30:36,765 --> 01:30:38,766
<i>He's a technical genius.</i>

1247
01:30:38,850 --> 01:30:41,644
<i>He breathes life
into inanimate objects.</i>

1248
01:30:42,020 --> 01:30:44,630
<i>It's a very godlike thing</i>

1249
01:30:44,631 --> 01:30:46,607
<i>to be able to take something and,</i>

1250
01:30:46,691 --> 01:30:48,609
<i>you know, make it live.</i>

1251
01:30:48,693 --> 01:30:51,251
<i>NARRATOR:
He was the talk of the town</i>

1252
01:30:51,252 --> 01:30:53,030
<i>from the Beltway to Broadway</i>

1253
01:30:53,824 --> 01:30:55,527
<i>aided in no small part</i>

1254
01:30:55,528 --> 01:30:57,952
<i>by his new wife and manager,
Maxine Lund.</i>

1255
01:30:58,537 --> 01:31:01,413
<i>In Maxine,
Malkovich had found his mentor</i>

1256
01:31:01,498 --> 01:31:04,041
<i>his muse, his inspiration.</i>

1257
01:31:04,543 --> 01:31:08,712
<i>In Malkovich, Maxine had
found the love of her life.</i>

1258
01:31:10,090 --> 01:31:12,383
There, there, my dear. Relax.

1259
01:31:13,385 --> 01:31:16,470
This travesty will all
be over with by morning.

1260
01:31:16,721 --> 01:31:19,473
<i>And the crowds have been
absolutely sensational</i>

1261
01:31:19,558 --> 01:31:22,935
<i>and, um, I'd just like to thank
God for giving us this opportunity</i>

1262
01:31:23,019 --> 01:31:25,020
<i>to share our creative vision.</i>

1263
01:31:25,105 --> 01:31:28,816
<i>NARRATOR: Nothing was impossible
for John and Maxine in the early days.</i>

1264
01:31:28,900 --> 01:31:30,734
<i>Their union was a joyous one,</i>

1265
01:31:30,819 --> 01:31:32,486
<i>and together
they worked tirelessly</i>

1266
01:31:32,571 --> 01:31:34,989
<i>to further Malkovich's
puppeteering career.</i>

1267
01:31:35,073 --> 01:31:37,458
<i>John Malkovich, the artist,</i>

1268
01:31:37,459 --> 01:31:39,702
<i>and Maxine, the entrepreneur,</i>

1269
01:31:39,786 --> 01:31:41,829
<i>they make this character,</i>

1270
01:31:41,913 --> 01:31:45,624
<i>this protean figure
that we call John Malkovich.</i>

1271
01:31:45,709 --> 01:31:49,837
<i>But some say Maxine has
changed since becoming pregnant,</i>

1272
01:31:49,921 --> 01:31:51,989
<i>recoiling from the limelight</i>

1273
01:31:51,990 --> 01:31:56,051
<i>and, rumor has it,
from her husband's affections.</i>

1274
01:32:03,977 --> 01:32:06,228
I'm so sorry.

1275
01:32:11,568 --> 01:32:14,111
<i>Malkovich shows us</i>

1276
01:32:14,613 --> 01:32:18,291
<i>a reflection of ourselves,
our frailties</i>

1277
01:32:18,292 --> 01:32:21,243
<i>and our, you know,</i>

1278
01:32:21,328 --> 01:32:23,554
<i>desperate humanity.</i>

1279
01:32:24,039 --> 01:32:28,167
<i>That's what makes him one of the
most relevant artists of our time.</i>

1280
01:32:28,877 --> 01:32:32,546
<i>NARRATOR: And what does the future
hold for John Horatio Malkovich?</i>

1281
01:32:32,631 --> 01:32:34,617
<i>Well, to quote the Bard,</i>

1282
01:32:34,618 --> 01:32:37,051
<i>"He's got the world on a string."</i>

1283
01:32:37,135 --> 01:32:38,761
<i>As the poet said,</i>

1284
01:32:38,845 --> 01:32:42,389
<i>"The puppeteer's voice need
not merely be the record of man.</i>

1285
01:32:42,474 --> 01:32:44,767
<i>"It can be one of the pillars,
the props,</i>

1286
01:32:44,851 --> 01:32:47,102
<i>"to help him endure
and prevail."</i>

1287
01:32:47,187 --> 01:32:49,146
<i>And I believe that.</i>

1288
01:32:49,564 --> 01:32:50,981
It's over!

1289
01:32:53,485 --> 01:32:54,777
Max?

1290
01:32:55,487 --> 01:32:58,239
I've gotta head down
to ABT now.

1291
01:32:58,323 --> 01:33:01,367
I've got the Swan Lake
benefit tonight, okay?

1292
01:33:01,451 --> 01:33:03,162
But when I come back,

1293
01:33:03,163 --> 01:33:06,947
we can maybe
celebrate Malkovich's big four-four.

1294
01:33:07,999 --> 01:33:09,312
Okay?

1295
01:33:09,838 --> 01:33:10,561
Jesus!

1296
01:33:10,562 --> 01:33:13,712
Why couldn't I have found
the portal to a younger body?

1297
01:33:13,797 --> 01:33:17,174
What if I- What if I
fall tonight and break my hip?

1298
01:34:08,184 --> 01:34:10,060
Like that, little girl?

1299
01:34:11,563 --> 01:34:13,105
Huh, lamb?

1300
01:34:15,442 --> 01:34:16,817
I love you.

1301
01:34:51,269 --> 01:34:52,895
MAN: Bravo!

1302
01:35:00,278 --> 01:35:01,445
Maxine?

1303
01:35:08,995 --> 01:35:10,287
Ma...

1304
01:35:21,549 --> 01:35:23,217
Hello? Hello?

1305
01:35:23,301 --> 01:35:24,718
<i>LESTER: We have Maxine.</i>

1306
01:35:24,803 --> 01:35:28,222
Oh! My God. Please,
please, don't hurt her.

1307
01:35:28,306 --> 01:35:31,767
Listen, I'll- I'll give you
anything you want. Please.

1308
01:35:31,851 --> 01:35:34,806
<i>You listen to me, asshole. I
don't want your fucking money.</i>

1309
01:35:34,807 --> 01:35:37,773
<i>What I want is for you
to leave John Malkovich now!</i>

1310
01:35:38,650 --> 01:35:40,567
Who- Who is this, Lester?

1311
01:35:40,652 --> 01:35:41,735
<i>Does it matter?</i>

1312
01:35:41,820 --> 01:35:44,655
<i>We're gonna kill Maxine if you
don't leave the body immediately!</i>

1313
01:35:44,739 --> 01:35:47,400
But I-I-I can't do that.

1314
01:35:47,401 --> 01:35:51,548
I mean, if-if I leave Malkovich,
then I'm Craig Schwartz again.

1315
01:35:51,549 --> 01:35:53,122
No career, no money.

1316
01:35:53,206 --> 01:35:54,540
Maxine will have
nothing to do...

1317
01:35:54,624 --> 01:35:56,750
She barely has anything
to do with me now.

1318
01:35:56,835 --> 01:36:00,254
<i>Jesus, we're going to kill
your wife, you fucking lunatic!</i>

1319
01:36:01,840 --> 01:36:03,006
God.

1320
01:36:03,091 --> 01:36:05,426
<i>Listen, Schwartz,
Malkovich is our vessel.</i>

1321
01:36:05,510 --> 01:36:06,382
<i>We're old.</i>

1322
01:36:06,383 --> 01:36:09,513
<i>We're going to die if
we don't get into him by midni...</i>

1323
01:36:25,155 --> 01:36:26,989
He called our bluff.

1324
01:36:29,200 --> 01:36:30,534
Shit!

1325
01:36:31,119 --> 01:36:34,496
Can't we just go inside the
portal and push Craig out?

1326
01:36:34,581 --> 01:36:36,457
No, he's much too powerful.

1327
01:36:36,541 --> 01:36:40,377
Schwartz would just jam us down
into Malkovich's subconscious.

1328
01:37:04,861 --> 01:37:06,236
Lotte.

1329
01:37:09,449 --> 01:37:11,825
If I can't have you,
no one will.

1330
01:37:15,246 --> 01:37:17,414
LESTER: Lotte, no!

1331
01:37:18,082 --> 01:37:20,959
No, Lotte! God, no,
we can't really kill her!

1332
01:37:21,044 --> 01:37:23,420
She's carrying Malkovich's
seed!

1333
01:37:23,421 --> 01:37:24,713
Our next vessel!

1334
01:37:32,680 --> 01:37:34,681
Hey! Help me!

1335
01:37:35,725 --> 01:37:37,142
Help me!

1336
01:37:38,478 --> 01:37:40,020
Where the fuck am I?

1337
01:37:40,104 --> 01:37:42,564
We're in
Malkovich's subconscious.

1338
01:37:43,066 --> 01:37:45,234
The last thing
you'll ever see, Maxine.

1339
01:37:47,946 --> 01:37:49,530
Fag-o-vitch!

1340
01:37:49,614 --> 01:37:51,990
MAN: Johnny, baby, Johnny.

1341
01:37:57,080 --> 01:38:02,918
BOY: I am bad. I am bad. I am
bad. I am bad. I am bad. I am bad.

1342
01:38:03,002 --> 01:38:04,878
I am bad. I am bad.

1343
01:38:04,963 --> 01:38:07,798
I am bad. I am bad. I am bad.

1344
01:38:08,466 --> 01:38:10,801
I am bad. I am bad. I am bad.

1345
01:38:22,146 --> 01:38:24,606
Maxine, I am gonna kill you!

1346
01:38:28,653 --> 01:38:30,445
You're creepy.

1347
01:38:41,207 --> 01:38:45,836
Little Johnny Malk-o-pee!
Little Johnny Malk-o-pee!

1348
01:38:46,170 --> 01:38:48,880
Wet his pants
so all could see!

1349
01:38:48,965 --> 01:38:53,802
Little Johnny Malk-o-pee!
Little Johnny Malk-o-pee!

1350
01:38:55,179 --> 01:38:57,764
Wet his pants
so all could see!

1351
01:39:11,904 --> 01:39:13,864
I loved you so much!

1352
01:39:15,617 --> 01:39:18,785
Oh! Why did you have to
hurt me like that?

1353
01:39:19,162 --> 01:39:20,787
I'm sorry, Lotte.

1354
01:39:21,080 --> 01:39:25,083
I guess I loved you, too,
in my way.

1355
01:39:25,668 --> 01:39:29,546
You are so full of shit,
Maxine!

1356
01:39:30,131 --> 01:39:31,381
I know.

1357
01:39:32,550 --> 01:39:33,884
I know!

1358
01:39:38,514 --> 01:39:40,349
It's your baby, okay?

1359
01:39:41,559 --> 01:39:43,060
What?

1360
01:39:43,519 --> 01:39:46,396
The baby, it's yours.

1361
01:39:47,607 --> 01:39:50,984
It's ours. I got pregnant
when you were in Malkovich.

1362
01:39:51,069 --> 01:39:53,695
You cannot fuck with me
anymore, Maxine!

1363
01:39:53,780 --> 01:39:55,113
I'm not!

1364
01:39:56,074 --> 01:39:59,076
I kept it because I knew
you were the father,

1365
01:40:01,871 --> 01:40:04,831
the other mother, whatever,
because I...

1366
01:40:04,916 --> 01:40:06,917
Because it was yours.

1367
01:40:09,587 --> 01:40:11,630
So we're parents?

1368
01:40:13,591 --> 01:40:14,925
Together?

1369
01:40:17,011 --> 01:40:18,303
Yeah.

1370
01:40:39,298 --> 01:40:40,262
Say, uh,

1371
01:40:40,263 --> 01:40:41,848
aren't you John Malkovich?

1372
01:40:41,849 --> 01:40:42,684
No.

1373
01:40:42,685 --> 01:40:44,788
- Yeah, you are.
- No.

1374
01:40:45,123 --> 01:40:47,207
I can't believe
you're in this shithole, man.

1375
01:40:47,291 --> 01:40:49,543
You guys know
this is John Malkovich?

1376
01:40:49,627 --> 01:40:50,919
I'm not John Malkovich.

1377
01:40:51,003 --> 01:40:52,546
This is John Malkovich...

1378
01:40:52,630 --> 01:40:55,090
I am not John Malkovich!

1379
01:40:55,174 --> 01:40:57,592
WOMAN:
Cut it out, you guys.

1380
01:41:11,983 --> 01:41:12,780
<i>Yes?</i>

1381
01:41:12,781 --> 01:41:13,984
<i>CRAIG: Lester, please don't do it.</i>

1382
01:41:14,068 --> 01:41:15,694
<i>Please don't kill Maxine.</i>

1383
01:41:15,778 --> 01:41:16,820
So you'll leave?

1384
01:41:16,904 --> 01:41:19,072
<i>Yes, I said...
I, uh-l am leaving.</i>

1385
01:41:19,157 --> 01:41:21,750
All right. Do it now while
I'm on the phone

1386
01:41:21,751 --> 01:41:22,868
so I can hear

1387
01:41:23,244 --> 01:41:24,911
and your lovely bride walks.

1388
01:41:24,996 --> 01:41:27,706
Uh... Okay. Okay.

1389
01:41:28,541 --> 01:41:30,167
I'm going.

1390
01:41:40,261 --> 01:41:42,596
Now, my friends.
The time is now.

1391
01:42:15,581 --> 01:42:16,880
I'm free.

1392
01:42:20,676 --> 01:42:22,552
I'm back! I'm...

1393
01:42:39,195 --> 01:42:40,403
Lotte.

1394
01:43:12,562 --> 01:43:13,770
Ooh!

1395
01:43:17,608 --> 01:43:20,110
Hello. Hello, young lady.
We're...

1396
01:43:21,404 --> 01:43:23,238
Malk...

1397
01:43:23,322 --> 01:43:25,657
We're Malkovich.

1398
01:43:26,784 --> 01:43:28,660
Hey! Hey!

1399
01:43:28,744 --> 01:43:30,954
Maxine!
I did it, Maxine!

1400
01:43:31,289 --> 01:43:33,206
I left Malkovich for you,
sweetie!

1401
01:43:33,291 --> 01:43:35,500
It's no good being Malkovich
without you.

1402
01:43:35,585 --> 01:43:37,097
It proves I love you!

1403
01:43:37,098 --> 01:43:38,169
LOTTE: Fuck off, Craig!
Doesn't it?

1404
01:43:38,254 --> 01:43:40,422
MAXINE: He's not with us.

1405
01:43:49,932 --> 01:43:52,392
Maxine, I love you!

1406
01:43:52,894 --> 01:43:54,849
I'm gonna go right back
into Malkovich

1407
01:43:54,850 --> 01:43:56,187
and I'm gonna kick Lester out!

1408
01:43:56,188 --> 01:43:57,731
And then you'll love me again!

1409
01:43:57,815 --> 01:44:00,483
Maxine! Maxine!

1410
01:44:01,859 --> 01:44:04,407


1411
01:44:14,707 --> 01:44:16,166
Ma-Sheen.

1412
01:44:16,250 --> 01:44:18,219
Hey. Malcatraz.

1413
01:44:18,975 --> 01:44:19,920
Uh, how are you?

1414
01:44:20,004 --> 01:44:21,567
I'm very well. And you?

1415
01:44:21,568 --> 01:44:22,339
Good, good.

1416
01:44:22,423 --> 01:44:23,757
You look well.
Thank you.

1417
01:44:23,841 --> 01:44:26,825
How's Celeste?
She's good, yeah.

1418
01:44:26,826 --> 01:44:28,212
She's sorry she couldn't make it
today.

1419
01:44:28,213 --> 01:44:30,180
She had to go to the store.
Oh, that's okay.

1420
01:44:30,264 --> 01:44:31,431
Charlie, hi!

1421
01:44:31,515 --> 01:44:32,891
I didn't even hear the door.

1422
01:44:32,975 --> 01:44:34,726
Lookin' great, Flo.

1423
01:44:34,810 --> 01:44:36,937
I'm looking grateful?

1424
01:44:39,065 --> 01:44:41,942
Charlie, we are not
getting any younger.

1425
01:44:42,401 --> 01:44:44,361
Well, don't rub it in.

1426
01:44:44,695 --> 01:44:47,364
Listen, Charlie, I know
this is going to sound crazy,

1427
01:44:47,448 --> 01:44:49,950
but what would you think
if I told you

1428
01:44:50,034 --> 01:44:54,204
that I'd found a way for us
to live forever? All of us.

1429
01:44:55,581 --> 01:44:57,533
Johnny boy,
what are you talking about?

1430
01:44:57,534 --> 01:44:58,212
All of us.

1431
01:44:58,213 --> 01:45:01,211
Celeste, Floris, you, me.
Gary Sinise maybe.

1432
01:45:03,923 --> 01:45:06,174
I don't really understand.

1433
01:45:13,182 --> 01:45:16,893
Charlie, this is Emily.

1434
01:45:27,154 --> 01:45:28,905
Isn't she lovely?

1435
01:45:30,574 --> 01:45:32,701
LOTTE: Hey, pass the Cheetos.
MAXINE: You need more puffs?

1436
01:45:32,785 --> 01:45:34,077
No, I want more.

1437
01:45:34,161 --> 01:45:36,121
Okeydoke.
They're covered in grease.

1438
01:45:36,205 --> 01:45:37,247
Shut up.

1439
01:45:37,331 --> 01:45:39,082
Can I swim yet?

1440
01:45:39,250 --> 01:45:41,876
Can you swim yet?
What time is it?

1441
01:45:42,253 --> 01:45:43,670
Shall we do the cramp test?

1442
01:45:43,754 --> 01:45:45,296
Check her.

1443
01:45:46,799 --> 01:45:49,467
Let me see. Are you gonna
throw up? Let me see!

1444
01:45:50,177 --> 01:45:52,929
Are you gonna throw up?
Are you gonna vomit?

1445
01:45:53,472 --> 01:45:55,515
Okay, you can swim.

1446
01:45:59,437 --> 01:46:01,187
CRAIG: Maxine.

1447
01:46:02,023 --> 01:46:03,481
Maxine.

1448
01:46:04,608 --> 01:46:06,484
I love you, Maxine.

1449
01:46:08,446 --> 01:46:10,280
Oh, look away.

1450
01:46:10,948 --> 01:46:12,782
Look away.

1451
01:46:13,117 --> 01:46:16,161
<i>CRAIG:
Look away. Look away.</i>

1452
01:46:16,328 --> 01:46:19,122
<i>Look away. Look away.</i>

1453
01:46:19,707 --> 01:46:21,249
<i>Look away.</i>

1454
01:46:22,000 --> 01:46:26,000


1455
01:46:26,001 --> 01:46:30,000
THE END