J“ raindrops on roses
j“ and whiskers on kittens
j“ bright copper kettles
j“ and warm woollen mittens
j“ brown paper packages
j“ tied up with strings
j“ these are a few
j“ of my favourite things j“
'We were somewhere around barstow, on the edge of the desert,
'when the drugs began to take hold.'
'I remember saying something like...'
I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe you should drive.
'Suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us.
'And the sky was full of what looked like huge bats.
'Aii swooping and screeching and diving around the car.
'And a voice was screaming...'
holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?
- You say something? - Hmm?
Never mind.
It's your turn to drive.
' "No point in mentioning these bats", I thought.
'The poor bastard will see them soon enough.'
- j“ baby, I'm starting to feel human - j“ oh, oh, yeah
- j“ hey, hey, feel with me, baby - j“ oh, oh, yeah
j“ cos I feel it coming on... j“
fucking pigs! Flying!
All right, let's see.
'We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline,
'five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine,
'a whole galaxy of multicoloured uppers, downers, screamers, iaughers.
'Also, a quart of Tequila, a quart of rum,
'a case of beer, a pint of raw ether...'
- shit! - 'Two dozen amyls.
'Not that we needed all that for the trip,
'but once you get locked into a serious drug collection,
'the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
'The only thing that really worried me was the ether.
'There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved
'than a man in the depths of an ether binge,
'and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.'
'A house subcommittee report says,
'illegal drugs killed 160 American gls last year, 40 of them in Vietnam.
'Drugs...'
One toke, man!
J“ one toke over the line
j“ sitting downtown at a railway station
j“ one toke over the line...
One toke, you poor fool?
J“ sweet, sweet Mary...
Wait till you see those goddamned bats, man.
J“ time
j“ one toke over the line j“
- let's give that boy a lift. - What? No!
Wait! We can't stop here. This is bat country.
Hot damn! I never rode in a convertible before!
Is that right?
Well, I guess you're about ready then, aren't you?
We're your friends.
We're not like the others, man. Really.
No more of that talk or I'll put the fucking leeches on you, understand?
Get in.
"'How long could we maintain," I wondered.
'How long before one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy?
'What will he think then?
'This same lonely desert was the last known home of the manson family.
'Will he make that grim connection
'when my attorney starts screaming about bats
'and huge manta rays coming down on the car?
'If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and Bury him somewhere.
'Cos it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose.
'He'd report us at once
'to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency
'and they'll run us down like dogs.'
Jesus, did I say that?
'Orjust think it?
'Was I talking? Did they hear me?'
it's ok. Just admiring the shape of your skull.
No, thanks!
"'Maybe I'd better have a chat with this boy", I thought.'
I have asthma.
'Perhaps if I explain things, he'll rest easy.'
all right, listen.
There's one thing you should probably understand.
Can you hear me? Good.
- I want you to have all the background. - Ooh...
This is a very ominous assignment with overtones of extreme personal danger.
I'm a doctor of journalism, man.
This is important, goddamn it! This is a fucking true story!
Shit! Hey, what're you doing? Sit down. Get the fuck...
Get your hands off my fucking head!
Now, now, now.
'Our vibrations were getting nasty, but why?
'Was there no communication in this car?
'Had we deteriorated to the level of dumb beasts?'
I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney.
He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man.
He's a foreigner.
I think he's probably Samoan.
It doesn't matter, though, does it?
- Are you prejudiced? - Hell, no.
I didn't think so.
Because in spite of his race, this man is extremely valuable to me.
Oh, shit. I forgot about the beer. You want some?
- No. - How about some ether?
- What? - Never mind.
All right, let's get right to the heart of this thing.
24 hours ago, we were sitting...
'...in the pogo lounge of the Beverly heights hotel.
'In the patio section, of course.
'Drinking Singapore slings with mescal on the side.
'Hiding from the brutish realities of this foul year of our lord, 1971 .'
cops were going apeshit...
Perhaps this is the call you've been waiting for all this time, sir.
Perhaps.
Yeah?
Mm-hmm.
Mmm. Really? All right. Yeah?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Ok, bye.
That was headquarters. They want me to...
Thank you.
They want me to go to Las Vegas at once.
Make contact with a Portuguese photographer named lacerda.
He'll have all the details.
All I have to do is check into my soundproof suite.
He'll seek me out. What do you think?
Sounds like real trouble.
You're gonna need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over.
Oh, yeah.
As your attorney, I advise you to rent a very fast car with no top.
And you'll need the cocaine.
Tape recorder for special music.
Acapulco shirts.
Get the hell out of la for at least 48 hours.
- Blows my weekend. - Why?
Cos, naturally, I'm gonna have to go with you.
And we're gonna have to arm ourselves to the teeth.
Well, why not?
I mean, if a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing right, huh?
This is the American dream in action.
Wait!
Shit, we'd be fools not to ride this strange torpedo all the way out to the end.
Indeed. We must do it.
What kind of story is this?
It's the mint 400.
The richest off-road race for motorcycles and dune buggies
in the history of organised sport.
It's a fantastic spectacle in honour of some fatback grosero,
who owns the luxurious mint hotel in downtown Las Vegas.
At least that's what the press release says, anyway.
Well, as your attorney, I advise you to buy a motorcycle.
How else can you cover a thing like this righteously?
Well, we're gonna have to drum it up on our own.
Pure Gonzo journalism.
Shit!
'Getting hold of the drugs and shirts had been no problem.
'But the car and tape recorder were not easy things to round up
'at 6:30 on a Friday afternoon in Hollywood.'
sounds beautiful. Great, hang on to it.
Fucking a, the gentleman has a major credit card!
That's right, man. Don't take any guff from these fucking swine.
I just got through saying that. Do you realise who the fuck you're talking to?
- Right. - Do you?
Be over in 30 minutes.
We're gonna need a sound store.
We won't make the nut unless we have unlimited credit.
Jesus Christ. We will, man.
You Samoans are all the same.
You have no faith in the essential decency of the white man's culture.
'The store was closed.
'But the salesman said he could wait if we hurry.'
'But we were delayed en route
'when a stingray in front of us killed a pedestrian.
'We had trouble again with the car rental agency.'
hey, mr Duke, we're all settled.
If I could just get your John hancock, you're on your way.
Yeah.
Er... listen, you're gonna be real careful with this car, right?
- Oh, yeah, man. Of course. - Good. Jeez!
No, no, no!
Holy smokes!
You just backed over... a two-foot concrete abutment, you didn't even slow down.
What were you going about, I don't know, 45 miles an hour backwards?
- Hey. - There's no harm done.
Oh?
I always test the transmission that way, the rear end for stress factors.
Boy, this is really a nice pen, man.
Hey, er... listen, you...
You fellows haven't been... Drinking, have you?
- No. Not me. - Oh.
We're responsible people.
Hey, hey, hey! Goddamn it, you've got my pen!
Goddamn hippies!
'We spent the rest of that night rounding up materials and packing the car.
'Then we ate some mescaline and went swimming.
'Our trip was different.
'It was to be a classic affirmation
'of everything right and true in the national character.
'A gross physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life in this country.
'But only for those with true grit.'
and we are chock full of that, man.
Damn right!
My attorney understands this concept, despite his racial handicap.
But do you?
'He said he understood, but I could see in his eyes that he didn't.
'He was lying to me.'
- Medicine! - What?
- Medicine! - Medicine?
Oh, yeah, medicine. Right. Right here.
Don't worry. This man has a bad heart.
Angina pectoris.
But we have a cure for it. Here you go.
All right.
Big whiff. Big whiff. Big whiff, Sonny boy.
There you go. Much better.
Now for the doctor.
What the...?
What the fuck are we doing out here in the middle of the desert?
Somebody call the police. We need help.
We need help. We need help.
The truth.
Truth?
- Now, we're going to Vegas... - Vegas.
To croak a scag baron named savage Henry.
It's true.
Why? Because I've known him for years but he ripped us off.
And you know what that means.
Right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Savage Henry has cashed his check. - Cashed his check.
And we're gonna rip his lungs out.
That bastard won't get away with this.
I mean, what is going on in this country when a scum sucker like that
can get away with sandbagging a doctor of journalism?
Can you tell me that?
- Hey! - Thanks for the ride! I like you guys!
- Really, don't worry about me! - Wait a minute!
Come back and have a beer!
Shit. Fuck.
I'm gonna miss him.
- Move over. - Did you see his eyes?
We have to get out of California before that kid finds a cop.
Come on. Scoot over, you fat bastard.
- We had a real freak on our hands! - Oh, shit.
'It was absolutely imperative that we get to the mint hotel
'before the deadline for press registration.
'Otherwise we might have to pay for our suite.'
Jesus!
Did you see what god just did to us, man?
God didn't do that. You did it.
You're a fucking narcotics agent. I knew it.
That was our cocaine, you pig! You fucking pig, swine, whore!
You better be careful.
Plenty of vultures out here that'll pick your bones clean before morning.
You fucking whore.
Here's your half of the sunshine acid. Eat it.
Yeah.
Great.
How long do I have?
As your attorney, I advise you to drive at top speed
or it'll be a goddamn miracle if we can get there
before you turn into a wild animal.
Are you ready for that?
Checking into a Vegas hotel under a phony name
with intent to commit capital fraud and a head full of acid?
I sure hope so.
'30 minutes. It was going to be very close.'
J“ well, she's all you'd ever want
j“ she's the kind I'd like to flaunt and take to dinner...
'Welcome to the mint hotel!'
j“ well, she always knows her place
j“ she's got style, she's got grace, she's a winner...
J“ she's a lady
j“ whoa, whoa, whoa
- j“ she's a lady... - Hmm. Mmm?
J“ talking about my little lady... j“
come on, take the ticket. We're busy here.
Come on, take the ticket. Take it.
Take the ticket.
- I need this, right? - I'll remember your face.
'There is no way of explaining the terror I felt.'
'Attention, all mint hotel guests.
'Will the owner of a green pinto, Minnesota license plate tg0432...'
'I was pouring sweat.
'My blood is too thick for Nevada.
'I've never been able to properly explain myself in this climate.
'Ok. Be quiet, be calm.
'Name, rank and press affiliation. Nothing else.'
hamburger stand. She was a waitress about 16 years old.
They chopped her goddamn head off right there in the parking lot.
Then they cut all kinds of holes in her and sucked out the blood.
They were after the pineal gland, I think.
Yeah. No. How's your mama?
'Ignore this terrible drug.
'Yeah. Pretend it's not happening.'
Hi there!
My name?
Raoul Duke! On the list. Freelance.
On the list, then? Total coverage.
I have my attorney...
With me.
And I realise that his name is not on that list.
But we must have that suite! Yes, we must have that suite.
What's the score here? What's next?
Your suite isn't ready yet.
But someone was looking for you.
No! We haven't done anything yet! Move!
I can handle this.
This man suffers from a bad heart.
But I have plenty of medicine. My name is dr Gonzo.
Prepare our suite at once. We'll be in the bar.
I don't know about you, but I'm starting to feel that drink.
Hey, beat it. Beat it. Go on.
Well, I like the way you did that.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
- What's that? - Come on, come on.
- Let's get some peanuts. - Peanuts?
That's one thing that's good for you, man.
- Peanuts, man. - Jesus! Oh, god!
Two Cuba libres, beer and mescal on the side.
You got it.
- I'll bet you're a libra. - Mmm.
- Who's lacerda? - Lacerda?
Yeah, he's waiting for us on the 12th floor.
Room 1250. Lacerda.
'I couldn't remember.
'The name rang a bell, but I couldn't concentrate.
'Terrible things were happening all around us.'
Buy us some golf shoes, otherwise we'll never get out of this place alive.
Impossible to walk in this muck. No footing at all.
'Mr Roger Pratt, please call the hotel operator.'
J“ how can I bear to see your heart break?
J“ to see your heart break over me... j“
'I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo
'and somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things.
'It won't be long now before they tear us to shreds.'
Please! Tell them to get out their fucking golf shoes!
Jesus god almighty, look at that bunch over there, man.
They've spotted us.
That's the press table, man.
We're gonna have to sign in for our credentials.
- Ok? - Hmm?
- Are you ready? - Mmm?
Are you ready?
- Come on, hurry up. - Wait! Fucking don't leave me here!
Two club sandwiches, and two more club sandwiches.
One, two, three, four shrimp cocktails.
- Mm-hmm. And nine fresh grapefruit. - Hmm?
Vitamin c. Need all we can get.
- Four chicken... - There's a big machine in the sky.
- Some kind of... - Quart of rum.
Well, electric snake coming straight at us.
Shoot it.
Not yet. I want to study its habits.
You motorcycle people sure are hearty eaters.
Not done with the cart? I need the cart. I need to return with the cart.
Thank you, but the cart needs to go back with... I'll be back!
- You bastard. - I've been hit, man!
I leave you alone for three minutes
and you start waving that goddamn marlin spike around yelling about reptiles.
What're you talking about, man?
You scared the shit out of those people. They were ready to call the cops.
Yes, sir, you were lucky I came back in time.
Don't come near me. Don't come fucking near me!
Leave me alone.
Hell, the only reason they gave us press passes
was to get you out of there, man.
Oh, god! What's that?
That scene straightened me right out, man.
Who's at the door?
'As the bombing continues in Laos...'
just a minute.
Holy shit. Oh, my god.
Hi. I'm lacerda, er... Your photographer.
- Duke? - Mm-hmm.
Back there.
Duke?
Duke? Hi!
Lacerda. Your photographer.
You're not Portuguese, man!
Hey, too bad you guys missed the bikes checking in.
Oh, man, what a sight!
Husquavarnas, yamahas, dmzs.
Kawasakis!
Maicos. Pursang!
Swedish fireballs.
Couple of triumphs. Here and there a c2.
All very, very fast.
Very.
What a race it's gonna be.
Yeah.
I'm gonna let myself out.
- We know what you're up to, man. - Hmm?
I'm gonna tell you... He's lying to us.
- I could see it in his eyes. - Eyes?
- 'Late battle reports indicate...' - Panic now, Charlie.
Turn this shit off.
'The racers were ready at dawn. Very tense.
'In some circles, the mint 400 is a far, far better thing
'than the super bowl, the Kentucky derby
'and the lower Oakland roller derby finals all rolled into one.'
hey! Slow down! This is a restricted area!
'This race attracts a very special breed.'
- fuck off. - All right.
'It was time to get grounded, to ponder this rotten assignment
'and figure out how to cope with it. It was time to do the job.
'Those of us who had been up all night were in no mood for coffee and donuts.
'We wanted strong drink.
'We were, after all, the absolute cream of the national sporting press.'
Pull!
'We were gathered here in Las Vegas for this very special moment in sport.
'When it comes to a thing like this, they don't fool around.'
It's just beautiful.
Money plays. Money plays.
Kill the body, the head will die. Ali-Frazier fight.
- Crazy shit, man. - A proper end to the '60s.
Ali beaten by a human hamburger.
Both Kennedys murdered by mutants.
- Hey, they're starting! - Oh, shit, they're starting. Let's go!
'Ladies and gentlemen,
'welcome to the start of the 50,000 dollar mint 400 desert race.
'With a purse of 50,000 dollars going to the winner
'of this gruelling, gut-wrenching, dust-eating, in-your-face motocross extravaganza!
'And away we go!
'We've got rooster tails going!
'We're here to spit in your enemy's eye!'
there they go.
'All right, our second group of ten is getting in place.
'Kawasakis, triumphs, maicos.
'Here we are. We're ready to go.
'It's the green flag, and they're off!
'Another great start with a lot of dirt happening on this hill!
'All right, here we go with the third group.
'And they're off! Here we go.
'Number 45 riding in the number 4 position is choking as the dust flies!
'You'd better wet those bandannas you got stretched over your face!'
'There was something like 190 more bikes waiting to start.'
give me a beer, man.
'They were due to go off, ten at a time every two minutes.'
There you go, buddy.
- Goddamn it. - Shit.
- What day is it? Saturday? - More like Sunday.
Hello! Anyone?
Have you seen the race?
'By 10:00, they were spread out all over the course.
'It was no longer a race.
'Now it was an endurance contest.
'The idea of trying to cover this race in any conventional press sense was absurd.'
- hey! It's pretty great, huh? - What?
Come on in!
I'm just gonna try different combinations of lenses and film
until I find something that works in this dust!
What the hell?
That's fucking machine guns, man. They're firing at us.
Machine guns. It's a goddamn war zone, man!
Get us out of here quick!
Quick! We're gonna be killed, for fuck's sake!
What the...? Oh, no. Oh, god. Oh, god.
Where's the damn race?
Beats me, man.
We're just good, patriotic Americans like yourself.
What outfit you fellows with?
Oh. The sporting press. We're friendlies.
Hired geeks.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Good luck, gentlemen.
- Get him! - Freaks.
Take me back to the pits.
No! No, no, no. We have to go on.
We need total coverage!
'It was time, I felt, for an agonising reappraisal of the whole scene.'
you're fired.
Awful jackass.
All right. Just drive into the dust!
I never wanna see you again.
I gotta take pictures. Just drive into the dust!
Huh?
Oh!
'The race was definitely underway.
'I had witnessed the start. I was sure of that much.
'But what now? What comes next?'
Put on the radio. Turn on the tape machine.
Roll every goddamn window down.
Let us taste this cool desert wind.
Ah, yes. This is what it's all about.
'Total control now.
'Tooling along the main drag on a Saturday night in Vegas.
'Two good old boys in a fire-apple red convertible.
'Stoned, ripped, twisted, good people.'
hot fuck. That sounds heavy.
29 cent hot dogs.
What are we doing here?
Are we here to entertain ourselves or do the job?
Do the job, of course.
Here we go.
Crab Louie and a quart of muscatel for 20 dollars.
As your attorney, I advise you to drive over to the tropicana
and pick up on guy lombardo.
He is in the blue room with his royal Canadians.
- Why? - Why? Why what?
Why should I pay my hard-earned dollars to watch a fucking corpse?
I don't know about you,
but in my line of business it's important to be hep.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
This is not a parking area! You've got to move your car!
You can't park your car here. Excuse me. Sir!
- What? - You can't park...
Hey! You can't park your car here!
Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?
Reasonable? You're on a sidewalk!
It's a sidewalk!
- This is not a parking area! - Debbie Reynolds?
- You can't park on the sidewalk! - Seems like a hot ticket.
Excuse me, sir?
Drove all the way from la for this show.
We're friends of Debbie's.
- Ok, bye. - We'll see you later.
'This was Bob hope's turf,
'frank Sinatra's, spiro agnew's.
'The place fairly reeked of high-grade formica and plastic palm trees.
'Clearly a high-class refuge for big spenders.'
has it started? Is she on stage?
She is. Sold out.
Sorry, sir. Full house. I'm sorry, sir.
We drove all the way from la for this show.
I said there are no seats left, sir, at any price.
Fuck seats! We're friends with Debbie.
I used to romp with her.
Are you prepared to go to court?
Well, that depends.
I wanna talk to you for a second here.
Your attitude constitutes a breach of faith.
In Nevada, that's illegal.
- What's your name? - My name?
- Yeah. - Tony pizzacata.
Tony pizzacata.
What, may I ask, is your name, sir?
It's on my driver's license.
I think we, er... might be able to squeeze you in, sir.
- Thank you kindly. - You'll have to stand in the back.
'After a lot of bad noise he let us in for nothing
'provided we would stand quietly in the back and not smoke.'
excellent.
Ladies and gentlemen, the desert inn is proud to present
the one, the only, the incomparable miss Debbie Reynolds!
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!
It's wonderful to be here with all you fabulous people! Whoa!
Let's rock and roll!
Hey! What the hell's going on?
- Get them out! - Come on, get out of here!
- Get them out. - Out!
Shit! We wandered into a fucking time capsule there.
Scumbag!
I'll find where you live and burn your house down, you piece of shit!
- Whoa! - What happened?
One of these days I'll toss a fucking bomb in that place.
Oh, wait. You see that?
This is the place, man.
They'll never fuck with us here.
- Where's the ether? - Hmm?
- Mescaline's not working. - Oh.
There we go. Right.
Yeah. Why not?
Yeah.
'Ah, devil ether. It makes you behave
'like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel.
'Total loss of all basic motor skills.
'Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue.
'The mind recoils in horror,
'unable to communicate with the spinal column,
'which is interesting because you can actually watch yourself
'behaving in this terrible way but you can't control it.
'You approach the turnstiles and know that when you get there
'you have to give the man two dollars or he won't let you inside.
'But when you get there everything goes wrong.
'Some angry rotarian shoves you and you think, "what's happening here?
"'What's going on?" And you hear yourself mumbling.'
dogs fucked the pope. No fault of mine.
'Ether is the perfect drug for Las Vegas.
'In this town they love a drunk. Fresh meat.'
- come on, buddy. Come on. - Holy...
'So they put us through the turnstiles and turned us loose inside.'
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
visitors of all ages, the bazooko casino circus
proudly presents the flying fellinis!
Oh, my god!
Fuck!
Excuse me.
Get out of my way, you...
'A drug person can learn to cope with things
'like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth,
'but nobody should be asked to handle this trip.
'Bazooko circus is what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday night
'if the Nazis had won the war.
'This was the sixth reich.'
place your bets! Where everyone is a winner and nobody's a loser!
Step right up and shoot the pasties off the nipples of a 10-foot bull dyke
and win a cotton candy goat!
Step up to this fantastic machine!
Forjust 99 cents, your likeness will appear 200 feet tall
on a screen over downtown Las Vegas.
Forjust 99 cents more you can have a voice message!
Say whatever you want, fellow! Oh, they'll hear you, all right!
You'll be 200 feet tall!
'The ether was wearing off. The acid was long gone.
'But the mescaline was running strong.
'Good mescaline comes on slow.
'The first hour's all waiting.
'And then about halfway through its second hour,
'you start cursing the creep who burned you because nothing's happening.
'And then, zang!'
I hate to say this but this place is getting to me.
I think I'm getting the fear.
Nonsense.
We came here to find the American dream.
Now that we're right in the vortex, you wanna quit?
You must realise, man, we've found the main nerve.
That's what gives me the fear.
- Oh, look! - What?
There's, er... two women fucking a polar bear.
Don't tell me those things.
Not now, man.
This is my last drink.
- How much money can you lend me? - Not much. Why?
- I have to go. - Go?
- Yeah. Leave the country. - Oh, no. Calm down.
You'll be straight in a few hours. Just sit down. Sit the fuck down.
Don't fuck around, man. This is serious.
One more hour in this town, I'll kill somebody.
Ok, I'll lend you some money.
Come with me.
- I wanna leave fast. - Ok.
Let's pay this bill, get up very slowly. I think it's gonna be a long walk.
Light, sir?
Do they pay you to screw that bear?
What? What?
- What the fuck did he say to me? - He's drunk.
You'd better take care of your friend.
Madam, sir, baby, child, whatever, can I pay?
Here, take this. That should be enough, for sure.
All right, come on. Let's go downstairs and gamble.
Whoop, you guys don't fucking give up.
Where'd he go? Where did he go?
- When is this thing gonna stop? - Stop?
- Stop it! - It won't stop.
- Stop it! - It's never gonna stop, man.
Don't move. You'll fall down.
Fuck, he's...
Where did he go? Oh.
Come on. Let go.
Quick, like a bunny. Come on. Hop!
- Come on. Hop! - I can't!
- Oh, you snivelling, chicken shit bastard! - Stop it!
All right.
Fuck!
Come on. You fell, you fell. Let's go.
Son of a bitch. You pushed me.
- Shoo! Go away! - Come on.
All right. You stay here and go to jail. I'm leaving.
Come on, you fiend!
- Step right over... - Nothing. I want nothing.
- Did you see that? - Come on.
Some son of a bitch just kicked me in the back.
Yeah. Probably the bartender.
Wanted to stomp you for what you said to the waitress.
- Holy moley! Holy moley! - Cows are gonna kill me!
Bisexuals are gonna kill me.
Let's get out of here. Where's the elevator?
No, fuck! Don't go near the elevator, man!
That's just what they want us to do.
Trap us in a steel box, take us down to the basement.
Come here.
Don't run, man. They'd like any excuse to shoot us.
You drive. You drive.
I think there's something wrong with me.
- Wrong door. - Hmm?
Wrong door. Next one.
'This is not a good town for psychedelic drugs.
'Extremely menacing vibrations were all around us.
'We finally made it to the room, but the key wouldn't open the door.'
those bastards have changed the lock on us, man.
Already?
They probably searched the room, man.
Jesus Christ, we're finished.
Move out of the way. Look out! Look out!
Whoa!
Bolt everything! Use all the chains!
That's better. That's better.
Where did this one come from?
Er... that's lacerda's.
Yeah. Yeah. I thought we might need it.
- What for? - What for?
So we can go up there and blast him out of bed with a fire hose, man.
I think we should leave that poor bastard alone.
He told me he was gonna turn in early, so...
I knew it. He got a hold of my woman, man!
You mean that little blonde groupie with the film crew?
Shit. Think he sodomised her?
That's right. Laugh about it.
He's gluing her eyes shut right now, man.
You goddamn honkies are all the same.
Jesus god almighty, man, where'd you get that big fucker?
Room service sent it up.
I needed something to cut the limes, man.
Limes? What limes?
They didn't have any. They don't grow in the desert.
That dirty toad bastard.
Should've taken him out when I had a chance.
Now he has her, man!
He got a hold of my baby, yeah.
'I remembered the girl.
'We'd had a problem with her in the elevator a few hours earlier.
'My attorney had made a fool of himself.'
- I think you look just like her. - You think so?
- You must be a rider. - Hmm?
She's speaking to you.
- What class are you in? - Class? What the fuck do you mean?
What do you ride?
See, we're here getting a little footage on the race for a television series.
I thought maybe, er... we could use you.
Oh, use me? I ride a...
"'Mother of god," I thought. Here it comes.'
I ride the big fuckers. You know? Big ones.
The really big fuckers. Yeah.
Vincent black shadow.
We're with the factory team.
- Right. - Bullshit.
- What? - Bullshit.
Hmm?
I think there's some kind of ignorant, chicken shit... move over, man.
An ignorant chicken fucker in this town.
You pink motherfucker.
I can show you better than I can tell you, ma'am.
Got a light?
You don't trust me, do you? Huh?
- Put the smile away. - It's ok. I know these guys.
Keep trying me, jerk-off. Keep trying me.
You wanna impress her? Well, impress her with me.
Oh, fuck.
No, you goddamn freak! Freak!
The police will be coming after you.
Give me the key. Give me the goddamn key!
J“ for your love...
- J“ for your love - j“ I give you everything and more...
- Put the knife away. - I been walking all day. Come on.
It's in my pocket. Come on.
J“ for your love
j“ I give you everything, I give you diamonds
j“ I know the place that will excite... j“
goddamn it.
It's serious now, man.
That girl understood, man.
Phew.
She fell in love with me, man.
Eye contact, man.
Wait.
I should go up there and castrate that fucker.
I'll take the blame, man.
Let's just leave that weird fucker alone. Come on.
Have you made a deal with him?
Did you put him on to her? Huh? Huh?
Huh?
All right, look...
You better put that goddamn blade away, man.
Get your fucking head straight.
I'm gonna go get the car washed.
'One of the things you learn after years of dealing with drug people,
'is that you can turn your back on a person,
'but never turn your back on a drug.
'Especially when it's waving a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eye.'
'What was I doing out here?
'What was the meaning of this trip?
'Was I just roaming around in a drug frenzy of some kind?
'Or had I really come out here to Las Vegas to work on a story?
'Who are these people, these faces?
'Where do they come from?
'They look like caricatures of used car dealers from Dallas.
'And, sweet Jesus,
'there are a hell of a lot of them at 4:30 on a Sunday morning,
'still humping the American dream,
'that vision of the big winner somehow emerging
'from the last-minute, pre-dawn chaos of a stale Vegas casino.'
- twenty this time. - We change a 20.
Thank you.
- Here we go. - Ok.
J“ spinning the wheel, spinning the wheel, spinning the wheel
j“ make me rich, make me very rich j“
- yee-hoo... - That's 10.
Oh, you bastard!
- Shit. - Sorry.
'No, no. Calm down. Learn to enjoy losing.'
Fuck, man, it's the fucking great deluge in here.
Don't touch that, leave it alone. Don't fuck with it, man!
Jesus Christ.
Oh, god.
- Did you eat all this acid? - That's right. Music!
You better pray to god there's some thorazine in that bag.
- Otherwise, you're in bad fucking trouble. - Music, man, put that tape on!
- What tape? - Jefferson airplane. "White rabbit".
I need a rising sound.
Fuck, you're doomed. I'm leaving here in two hours.
Then they're gonna come up here and beat the mortal shit out of you
right there in that fucking tub.
All right, I'll do it! I'll do it. Fuck, man.
Just do me one last favour, will you?
Give me two hours. That's all I ask, man.
Two hours to sleep before tomorrow.
This is fixed. It's gonna be a very difficult day.
I'll give you all the time you need.
Electrocution. We don't want that.
Fuck off.
J“ when logic and proportion have fallen...
Goddamn it!
J“ sloppy dead
j“ and the white knight is talking backwards...
Let's see.
J“ and the red queen is off with her head
j“ remember...
- Oh, god almighty. - Help! Help! Help me! Help!
Shit! He's killing himself!
Don't touch it, man. Don't touch it!
For fuck's sake, man!
J“ feed your head... j“
Back, god... back, motherfucker!
- On a roll, man! I need it again! - What?
When it comes to that fantastic note...
When the rabbit bites its own head off.
I want you to throw that fucking radio
into the tub with me.
Fuck, you've gone completely sideways, man.
That'll blast you right through the wall. You'll be stone dead in ten seconds.
Fuck, they'll make me explain things. Shit.
Bullshit.
Don't fuck with me now, man. I am ahab.
Jesus Christ.
All right, you weird fucker! Sit down! Back in the tub!
I'll plunge this into your fucking throat.
Don't make me use this, man.
All right, man. Probably the only solution.
Let me make sure I've got this all lined up.
You want me to, er... throw this thing into the tub when "white rabbit" peaks?
- Is that it? - Oh, fuck.
I was beginning to think I was gonna have to go outside
and get one of the goddamn maids to do it.
Oh, no. I'll do it.
Shit. What are friends for?
J“ I think she'll know...
You ready?
- J“ where logic... - Close your eyes.
- J“ and proportion... - Yeah, good boy.
J“ have fallen sloppy dead...
Rabbit! White rabbit!
Quiet, goddamn it! You're wasting my time!
Higher, man. Higher.
- J“ remember... - Ok, close those peepers.
- J“ what the dormouse said... - Ten.
Nine.
- J“ feed your head... - 111.
- 52! Breathe! - J“ feed your head... j“
hey! Hey! Hey!
You bastard!
Mace! Mace, man. You want this?
I guess you do.
- You'd do that, wouldn't you? - Well, why not?
You fucking bastard!
Hell, just a minute ago you were asking me to kill you.
Now you wanna kill me.
What I should do, goddamn it, is call the fucking police!
Boy, are you upset.
There'd be no point, man, calling the cops.
There's no choice.
I wouldn't dare go to sleep with you wandering around with a head full of acid
wanting to slice me up with that goddamn knife.
Who said anything about slicing you up, man?
I just wanted to cut a little "z" in your forehead.
Get back in the tub.
Eat some reds and try to calm down.
Smoke some grass. Shoot some fucking smack.
Shit, man, do whatever you gotta do, but please, I need some fucking rest, man.
Please. Please.
Get up, you pig fucker!
Up! Up!
Well, I, er...
Yeah.
You need to get to work.
Goddamn, what a bummer.
You scurvy shyster bastard. I'm a doctor of journalism, man.
- Mm-hmm. - Don't let me keep you up.
- Now... - Don't let me keep you up.
Get in there and clean your shorts!
Clean your shorts, goddamn it, like a big boy. Go on!
Pig!
'The acid had shifted gears on him.
'The next phase would probably be
'one of those hellishly intense introspective nightmares.'
must get some peace.
'Four hours or so of catatonic despair.'
damn drugs.
'Ignore the nightmare in the bathroom.
'Just another ugly refugee from the love generation.
'My attorney had never been able to accept the notion
'often espoused by former drug abusers
'that you can get a lot higher without drugs than with them.
'And neither have I, for that matter.'
J“ when the truth is found to be lies
j“ and all the joy within you dies
j“ don't you want somebody to love
j“ don't you need somebody to love
j“ wouldn't you love somebody to love
j“ you better find somebody to love
j“ love...
'1965. The great San Francisco acid wave.'
j“ when the garden flowers... j“
'I recall one night in a place called the matrix.
'There I was.
'Mother of god. There I am.
'Holy fuck. Oh.
'Clearly I was a victim of the drug explosion,
'a natural street freak just eating whatever came by.'
Does anybody want some LSD?
I got all the makings right here!
All I need is a place to cook.
'I decided to eat only half of the acid at first.
'But I spilled the rest on the sleeve of my red woollen shirt.'
What's the trouble?
Well, all this white stuff on my sleeve is LSD.
'With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever.
'Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all his favourite bars,
'men in red woollen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know.'
'Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas.
'Has it been five years? Six?
'It seems like a lifetime, the kind of peak that never comes again.'
j“ love is but a song we're singing...
'San Francisco in the middle '60s
'was a very special time and place to be a part of, but no explanation.'
j“ we can make the mountains ring...
'No mix of words or music or memories
'can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive
'in that corner of time in the world, whatever it meant.'
j“ though the bird is on the wing
j“ and you may not know why...
'There was madness in any direction, at any hour.
'You could strike sparks anywhere.
'There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right,
'that we were winning.
'And that, I think, was the handle.'
j“ some may come and some may go...
'That sense of inevitable victory over the forces of old and evil.
'Not in any mean or military sense, we didn't need that.
'Our energy would simply prevail.
'We had all the momentum.
'We were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave.
'So now, less than five years later,
'you can go up a steep hill in Las Vegas and look west
'and with the right kind of eyes,
'you can almost see the high-water Mark,
'that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.'
j“ try to love one another right now j“
- J“ want some whiskey in your water? - Room service!
J“ some sugar in your tea?
J“ what's all these crazy questions they're asking me?
Good morning, sir.
J“ this is the craziest party there could ever be...
What do you want, man?
- What do you want? - Room service.
Get out.
- J“ mama told me not to come... - You're in the wrong room. Get out!
Get the fuck out! I've got a gun. It's not mine, really. Get out.
- The-the-the... - What?
- The bill. - All right.
- Will you sign for it? - Yeah, I'll get it. Hurry up.
Don't move, man. Be very still. There we go.
Say nothing to no one, man.
J“ open up the window, let some air into this room...
'The decision to flee came suddenly.
'Or maybe not.'
j“ that cigarette you're smoking about scared me half to death...
'Maybe I'd planned it all along, subconsciously waiting for the right moment.'
j“ mama told me not to come...
'The bill was a factor, I think, because I had no money to pay for it.'
j“ mama told me not to come...
'Our room service tabs had been running
somewhere between 29 'and 36 dollars per hour
'for 48 consecutive hours. Incredible.
'How could it happen?
'But by the time I asked this question,
'there was no one around to answer it.
'That rotten attorney of mine, dr Gonzo, was gone.
'He must have sensed trouble.'
hmm? Oh. A "z"?
'Panic.
'It crept up my spine like first-rising vibes of an acid frenzy.'
'All these horrible realities began to dawn on me.'
oh, fuck.
'Here I was, alone in Las Vegas, completely twisted on drugs.
'No cash, no story for the magazine, and on top of everything else
'i had a gigantic goddamn hotel bill to deal with.
'I didn't even know who'd won the race. Maybe nobody.
'How would Horatio alger have handled this situation?
'Stay calm. Stay calm.
'I'm a relatively respectable citizen.
'Multiple felon, perhaps, but certainly not dangerous.'
taxi!
'Luckily, I had taken the soap and grapefruit
'and other luggage out to the car a few hours earlier.
'Now, it was only a matter of slipping the noose.'
hey! Here, take this. All right.
- Mr Duke! Mr Duke! - Oh, shit.
We've been looking for you.
'The game was up. They had me.'
many fine books have been written in prison, huh?
- Sir? - What?
Er... this telegram came for you.
Actually, it's not for you. It's for somebody named Thompson.
But it says, "care of raoul Duke." Do you... does that mean anything?
Yes, yes, it means a lot. Thanks.
Er... yeah, I checked the register for this man Thompson.
We don't show him, but I figured he might be part of your team.
- Oh, he is. Don't worry. I'll get it to him. - Yeah, er...
What confused us was dr Gonzo's signature on the telegram from Los Angeles
when we knew he was right here in the hotel.
Right. You did the right thing.
Never try to understand a press message.
About half the time, we use codes. Especially with dr Gonzo.
- See you. - Tell me...
When will the doctor be awake?
Awake? What do you mean?
Well, er... my manager, mr heem, would like to meet him.
It's nothing unusual, er...
Mr heem likes to meet all of our large accounts, er...
Put them on a personal basis, you know? Just a chat and a handshake.
You understand.
Of course, but if I were you,
I would leave the doctor alone until after he's eaten his breakfast
because he's a very crude man.
Jesus god!
Er... but he will be available maybe later this morning?
Look, the telegram is actually all scrambled.
It's actually from Thompson, not to him.
All right? Now, I've got to go. I've gotta get to the race.
But there's no hurry. The race is over.
- Not for me. - Well, er... let's have lunch!
Righty-o, man. Righty-o.
J“ now the bricks lay on grand street...
'Jesus. Bad waves of paranoia. Madness. Fear and loathing.
'Intolerable vibrations in this place.
'Get out. The weasels were closing in. I could smell the ugly brutes.
'Do me one last favour, lord.
'Just give me five more high-speed hours before you bring the hammer down.
'Just let me get rid of this goddamn car and off this horrible desert.'
j“ oh, mama
j“ is this really the end?
- J“ to be stuck inside of mobile... - Oh, you evil bastard.
- J“ with the Memphis blues again... j“ - this is your work.
You better take care of me, lord. If you don't...
You're gonna have me on your hands.
Pull over!
- Hey! - Pull over!
Good morning. How are you? All right, man. Doing very well.
'Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop.
'Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side.
'This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart.
'Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.
'But he won't know what to make of your blinker signal
'that says you're about to turn right.
'This is to let him know you're pulling off for a proper place to talk.
'It'll take him a moment to realise
'that he's about to make a 180-degree turn, at speed.
'But you will be ready for him. Brace for the "g" s. Fast heel-toe work.'
Shit! Shit!
Hi. How are you?
Just what in the hell did you think you were doing?
I wanna know. Let me see your license.
Oh, yeah, of course. There you are.
Oh, my gosh.
It's me.
May I please have that?
'I knew I was fucked.'
See you have two cases of beer, a basket of grapefruit,
stack of t-shirts and towels, light bulbs.
You realise what you did when you drive like that?
Yeah, I know. I'm guilty. I understand that.
I knew it was a crime. I did it anyway.
Shit, why argue? I'm a fucking criminal.
Look at me.
You have a strange attitude.
Maybe.
You know, I have a feeling you need to take a nap.
There's a rest area just up ahead.
I'd like you to go up there, pull over and get a few hours' sleep.
That's not gonna help me.
I've been awake for too long, three or four nights, maybe.
Can't even remember. I go to sleep now, I'm dead for 20 hours.
What are you carrying two cases of soap for, son?
I wanna stay clean.
No. Here's how it is.
What I put in my book, as of noon,
is that I apprehended you for driving too fast.
I advised you to proceed to the next rest area... stop!
I advised you to proceed to the next rest area,
your stated destination, right?
And take a long nap.
Do I make myself clear?
Well, how far is baker?
I was sort of hoping to, er... I don't know, stop there for lunch.
It's not myjurisdiction.
City limits end 2.2 miles beyond the rest area.
- Can you make it that far? - I'll try.
I've been wanting to go to baker for a long time.
Yeah. Heard a lot about it.
Excellent seafood.
You know, I'm thinking, a guy with your kind of mind
ought to try the land-crab. Excellent seafood.
Land-crab.
All right. Why not?
Thanks for the tip.
Look at me in the eyes.
Everything all right?
May I have a little kiss before you go?
I'm very lonely here.
J“ oh, mama, can this really be the end?
'I felt raped. The pig had done me on all fronts.
'And now he was going off to chuckle about it on the West Side of town,
'waiting for me to make a run for la.
'Why, yes, officer.
'Of course I'll take advantage of that rest area.
'And I can't tell you how grateful I am for this break you wanna give me.
'Get a grip, man.
'If I boom straight for la he'll bust me for sure.
'No. This was not the time for a showdown.
'This was death valley.'
Oh, fuck!
Sweet Jesus, it's him. Oh, my god!
Shit! Come on, you fucking bastard.
Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. I've got to go. I've got to...
Well, they've nailed me, goddamn it.
I'm trapped in some stinking desert crossroads called baker.
I don't have much time, man. The fuckers are closing in.
They'll hunt me down like a fucking beast.
'You sound a little paranoid.'
I need a fucking lawyer immediately!
'What are you doing in baker? Didn't you get my telegram?'
what telegram, you worthless bastard? I'll cripple your ass for this.
You brainless scumbag, you're supposed to be in Vegas.
I rented a suite at the flamingo.
'You're supposed to be covering the national district attorney's conference.
'I made all the reservations. Everything is arranged.'
now, what the fuck are you doing out there in the middle of the desert?
Nothing. Never mind. It's all a big joke.
I'm actually, er... I'm poolside at the flamingo right now,
talking through a portable phone some dwarf brought out from the casino.
Yeah, I have total credit here.
Don't come anywhere near this place, you bastard.
Foreigners aren't welcome here.
'Well, this is how the world works.
'Aii energy flows according to the whims of the great magnet.
'What a fool I was to defy him.
'I was going back to Vegas. I had no choice.
'I had to get rid of the shark.
'Too many people might recognise it, especially the Vegas police.
'Luckily, my credit card was still technically valid.
'Now this was a superior machine.
'Ten grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects.
'The rear windows leapt up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond.
'The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters
'that I would never understand.
'If the pigs were gathering in Vegas,
'i felt the drug culture should be represented as well.
'And there was a certain bent appeal in the notion of running a savage burn
'on one Las Vegas hotel,
'and then just wheeling across town and checking into another.
'Me and 1,000 ranking cops from all over america.
'Why not move confidently into their midst?'
welcome to the flamingo hotel, sir.
- Sir? - Yeah, hi. Right. Ok.
(J' frank Sinatra: "You're getting to be a habit with me"
j“ I'm addicted to your charms
j“ you're getting to be a habit with me
j“ I used to think your love was something that I could take
- j“ or leave alone... - 'My arrival was badly timed.'
j“ but now I couldn't do without my supply
j“ I need you for my own... j“
This here model is one that we had to use
when we took on them little peckerheads down there at Kent state.
And this baby here...
I'm a police chief from Michigan. Look, fella, I have explained to you.
I have this postcard which says that I have a reservation in this hotel.
I'm very sorry, sir, but you're on the late list.
And so, your reservation has been transferred
to... the moonlight motel which is just out on paradise boulevard.
We've already paid for our goddamn room!
Well, it's actually a very fine place of lodging,
and it's only 16 blocks from here. It has a pool, sauna, steam.
You listen to me, you filthy little faggot!
I want a manager down here, now, now!
Now, because I'm sick of listening to your dog shit!
I am very sorry, sir.
Get off of me! Get away from me!
- Can I call you a cab? - Sure, and I'll call you a cocksucker!
'Of course, I could hear what the clerk was really saying.
Listen, you fuzzy little shithead!
I've been fucked around in my time by a fairly good cross section
of mean-tempered, rule-crazy cops. And now, it's my turn.
So fuck you, officer. I'm in charge.
Hey, listen, I really hate to interrupt,
but I wonder if I could just slide on through and get out of your way.
The name is Duke. Raoul Duke.
I think my attorney made the reservations.
Duke, raoul. Certainly, sir.
My bags... my bags are out there in that white Cadillac convertible there.
Maybe somebody could bring it to the room for me.
Well, let me get a quart of wild Turkey, two-fifths of bacardi,
- some ice for the room, and let's see... - You just calm down!
Shit, let's try some lime chunks. What do you think?
I say ok.
- You don't worry about a thing. - Now, calm down.
- You don't hesitate to call me, sven. - All right, sven.
Thank you very much.
- You... you... - I know, I know, I know. It's hideous.
You're gonna be fine, though. You're doing well.
I'll see you later. Wait. Don't touch it.
Good night. Pardon me. Bye, sven.
Look what you did! Look what you did!
Goddamn you, we wouldn't stay in this hotel if you begged us!
J“ magic moments
j“ when two hearts are caring
j“ magic moments
j“ memories we've been sharing... j“
home, sweet home. Whoa. What kind of sick shit...?
Oh, shit!
Shit. What the fuck?
Stop, stop, stop. She's biting my leg off!
You degenerate pig. Please!
Can't be helped.
My fucking leg!
That's "Lucy in the sky with diamonds."
Lucy, be cool, goddamn it.
Remember what happened at the airport, ok?
Come on.
No more of that, ok? That's my client, Lucy.
That's mr Duke, the famous journalist.
He's paying for this suite, Lucy. He's on our side.
He loves artists.
Lucy paints portraits of Barbra Streisand.
Right?
Er... I drew these from TV.
Really.
She came all the way down...
- What's the name of that town? - Montana.
Montana. Just to give these portraits to Barbra.
We're going over to the americana tonight to meet her backstage.
'I desperately needed peace, rest, sanctuary.
'I hadn't counted on this, finding my attorney on acid
'and locked into some kind of preternatural courtship.'
well... they must have brought the car around by now.
So why don't, er... Ou-yay and i-ay
o-gay and et-gay the uff-stay out of the unk-tray.
Absolutely. Yeah.
Let's get the stuff.
We'll be right back, Lucy.
- Give me a kiss? - No.
- One kiss, one kiss. - No.
- One kiss. - No.
- Why not? - No.
Don't answer the phone.
God bless.
Phew! Well, what are your plans?
- Plans? - The child in the bedroom.
Oh, Lucy. I met her on the plane.
Yeah. She's a religious freak.
I gave her a cap before I realised...
Jesus, she's never even had a drink.
Well, it'll probably work out.
We can keep her loaded, and then peddle her ass at the drug convention.
Yeah, she's perfect for this gig.
These cops will go 50 bucks a head
to beat her into submission and then gang-fuck her.
We can set her up in one of these backstreet motels,
hang pictures of Jesus all over the room,
and then turn these fucking pigs loose on her.
Hell, she's strong, man. She'll hold her own.
Jesus Christ, I knew you were sick,
but I never expected to hear you actually say that kind of stuff.
You filthy bastard.
Straight economics, man. This girl's a godsend.
Shit. She could make us a grand a day.
That's ugly, man. Stop talking like that.
Well, I figure she can do about four at a time.
If we keep her full of acid, that's more like two grand a day, maybe three.
Hold on, man.
What if I justjump on you and beat the dog shit out of you?
Would that make you feel any better, you filthy bastard?
All right, listen to me.
In a few hours, she'll probably be sane enough
to work herself into some sort of towering Jesus-based rage
at the hazy recollection of being seduced by some kind of cruel Samoan
who fed her liquor and LSD, dragged her to a Vegas hotel room
and then savagely penetrated every orifice in her little body
with his throbbing, uncircumcised member.
That's so ugly, man.
- Well, fuck, truth hurts. - That's argh!
- Yeah. - Argh!
- That's argh! Argh! - Mmm? Amm
- that's argh! - Argh?
I wanted to help her, man.
Well, you'll go straight to the gas chamber for this one.
Even if you manage to beat that, they'll still send you back to Nevada
for rape and consensual sodomy.
No, she's gotta go.
Shit.
It doesn't pay to try to help somebody these days, huh?
Let's go.
Yeah. Americana hotel? I need a reservation.
For my... niece.
Look, I want her treated very gently. She's an artist and...
Fuck off.
She might seem a trifle high-strung.
She's doing her masters' thesis on, er... Well, Barbra Streisand.
- It's time to meet Barbra. - Last name?
I'd rather not say. My brother's in politics.
Yeah, you understand.
'I felt like a Nazi, but it had to be done.'
yeah, yeah, righto. Ok, yeah. Bye.
J“ yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy
j“ and I feel like loving you...
J“ love is such a sweet thing, good enough to eat
j“ and it's just what I'm gonna do...
'Lucy was a potentially fatal millstone on both our necks.'
hurry the fuck up!
'There was absolutely no choice but to cut her adrift.'
- Jesus Christ. Take your time! - 'And hope her memory was fucked.'
Here's an extra ten bucks, buddy. Make sure she gets there safely.
That's that.
Hey, man, take off slowly. Don't attract attention.
J“ yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy... j“
Let's find a good seafood restaurant and eat some red salmon.
I feel a powerful lust for red salmon.
Oh, no, man. We're gonna be late.
We gotta go.
Goddamn mescaline.
Why the fuck can't they make it a little less pure?
I welcome you to the third national da's convention
on narcotics and dangerous drugs.
And now, without further ado,
the man who will define this cancer eating at the heart of america,
dr I. Ron bumquist.
I saw these bastards in easy rider, but I didn't believe they were real.
Not like this, man, not hundreds of them.
They're actually pretty nice people once you get to know them.
Know them? I know these people in my goddamn blood.
Don't say that word around here. You'll get them excited.
You're right.
The most efficient way for us to do this is for each one of us
to try and attempt to imagine
what it is like inside of the possessed mind of the addict.
For example, a dope fiend
refers to the reefer butt as a "roach"
because it resembles a cockroach.
What the fuck are these people talking about?
You've got to be crazy on acid to think a joint looks like a goddamn cockroach.
You will notice that I have distinguished four,
four distinct states of being in the cannabis or marijuana society.
They are cool, groovy, hip and square.
Seldom, if ever...
Too crazy, man. You're too crazy.
We should get the hell out. What a fucking nightmare.
If he figures out what is happening then he can rise one notch
and become hip.
And then if he can convince himself...
To approve of what is happening,
then he becomes groovy.
Groovy.
And then, after that, he can actually raise himself
to the rank of cool.
He can become one of those cool guys.
Dr bumquist.
You think the anthropologist Margaret mead's strange behaviour of late
could be explained by a private marijuana addiction?
Good question.
I'm not really sure I can answer that.
But what I can tell you, sir, is if Margaret mead, at her age,
smoked grass...
She'd have one hell of a trip.
One more layer of deviance to the woman.
This is fuckin' bullshit.
I'll be out in the casino.
Shut up, man. Go to hell!
Thank you, thank you very much. Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
Projector, please.
- Excuse me. - All right.
'Know your dope fiend.
'Your life may depend on it.
'You will not be able to see his eyes, because of tea shades,
'but his knuckles will be white from inner tension.
'And his pants will be crusted with semen
'from constantlyjacking off when he can't find a rape victim.
'He will stagger and babble when questioned.'
'He will not respect your badge.
'The dope fiend fears nothing.
'He will attack for no reason, with any weapon at his command
'including yours.'
cheers.
'Beware. Any officer apprehending a suspected marijuana addict...'
pardon me.
'...should use all necessary force immediately.'
sorry. Pardon me.
'One stitch in time on him will usually save nine on you.
'...On you.'
oh, god. Oh, god.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Oh, god. Oh, god.
Mmm?
Yeah?
Yes, mr Duke, hello. You have one message.
Call Lucy...
'...at the americana hotel, room 1600.'
oh, fuck.
Hello?
Lucy called.
- What? - Lucy called.
- What? - Lucy called, man.
Those two men in the dock, they gave me the LSD
and they took me to the hotel.
I don't know what they done to me, but I remember it was horrible.
- They gave you what? - LSD.
Castration!
Double castration!
- Where's my .357, man? - Who the fuck knows, man?
You can't leave me alone in this snake pit.
You bastard, what did you do with my .357?
- This room is in my name. - Well, tough titty, man.
Ok, goddamn it!
You're right.
She's my problem. I'll call her, I'll get her off our backs.
It's gone too fucking far, man.
Well, I'll take that into consideration.
- Relax. - Relax!
Let me handle this.
- Where are my shoes? - The americana hotel. Room 1600, please.
What did you do with my goddamn shoes?
As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle
in my shaving kit.
You won't need much.
Just a... tiny taste.
Let's have it.
Ah, there it is.
What is this shit?
That stuff makes pure mescaline seem like ginger beer, man.
Adrenochrome.
Adrenochrome? Hmm.
Hello.
Hi, Lucy. God bless.
Yeah, it's me.
Hell, no, I taught the bastard a lesson he'll never forget.
What? No, not dead.
But he won't be bothering anybody for a while.
Yeah, I left him out there.
I stomped him. I pulled all his teeth out.
'I remember thinking, "Jesus.
"'What a terrible thing to lay on somebody with a head full of acid."'
but we have a problem.
That bastard cashed a bad check downstairs and gave you as a reference.
They'll be looking for both of you.
Yeah, I know, Lucy, but you can'tjudge a book by its cover.
Some people are just basically rotten.
Anyway, the last thing in the world you wanna do is call this hotel again.
They'll trace the call, put you straight behind bars.
No, I'm moving to the tropicana right away.
Hmm.
I'll use a different name. I'll let you know what it is and, er...
I gotta get off.
Probably have this phone tapped, baby.
Yeah, I know, it was horrible, but it's all over now.
Oh, my god. There's someone at the door.
Christ! Hey!
No! I'm innocent! It was Duke!
It was Duke! Lucy! Lucy!
I love you! I love you!
Don't put that thing on me!
Whoo. Oh.
Well...
That's that.
That's the last we should be hearing from Lucy, man.
She's probably stuffing herself down the incinerator about now.
You know what we need?
We need some opium.
'I remember slumping on the bed.
'His performance had given me a bad jolt.
'For a moment, I thought his mind had snapped,
'that he actually believed he was being attacked by invisible enemies.
'But the room was quiet again.'
where'd you get this?
Never mind. It's absolutely pure.
What kind of monster client have you hooked up with this time?
Satanism freak.
I think there's only one source for this stuff,
the, er... adrenaline gland from a living human body.
I know.
The guy didn't have any cash to pay me.
He offered me human blood,
said it would take me higher than I'd ever been in my life.
- I thought he was kidding. - Oh.
So I told him I'd just as soon have an ounce or so of pure adrenochrome.
Or maybe just a fresh adrenaline gland to chew on.
'I could already feel the stuff working on me.
'The first wave felt like a combination of mescaline and methedrine.
"'Maybe I should take a swim," I thought.'
yes, sir.
They nailed this guy for child molesting.
He swore he didn't do it.
"Why should I fuck with children?" He said. "They're too small."
Christ, what could I say?
Even a goddamn werewolf is entitled to legal counsel.
I didn't dare to turn the creep down.
He might have picked up a letter opener
and gone after my... pineal gland.
- You know? - Yeah.
- Crazy. - Why not?
Shit. We should get some of that.
Just... eat a big handful and see what happens.
Some of what?
Extract of pineal.
Sure, that's a good idea.
One whiff of that stuff will turn you
into something out of a goddamn medical encyclopaedia, man.
Beautiful fucking tits.
Man, your head would swell up like a watermelon.
You'd gain about 100 pounds in two hours.
Right!
Grow claws, bleeding warts.
Yes.
And then you'd notice about six huge, hairy tits swelling up on your back.
Fantastic!
You'd go blind.
Your body would turn to wax.
They'd have to put you in a wheelbarrow.
And when you scream for help, you'll sound like a raccoon.
Man, I'll tryjust about anything,
but I'd never in hell touch a pineal gland.
Finish the fucking story, man!
Vvhathappened? What about the glands?
Jesus, that stuff got right on top of you, didn't it?
Look at your face. You're about to explode.
Maybe you could just... Shove me into the pool.
Man, if I put you in the pool right now, you'll sink like a goddamn stone.
You took too much, man. You took too much. Too much.
Don't try and fight it.
You'll get brain bubbles, strokes, aneurysms.
You'll just wither up and die.
'They continue killing innocent people!
'Allowing the hopes for peace and freedom of millions of people
'to be suffocated.
'So tonight, to you, the great silent majority...
'Sacrifice. Sacrifice.
Sacrifice. Sacrifice.
'Sacrifice. Sacrifice. Sacrifice. Sacrifice.'
J“ I hear the cottonwood whispering above
j“ Tammy, Tammy
j“ Tammy's in love...
'What kind of rat-bastard psychotic
'would play that song right now, at this moment?'
j“ Tammy, Tammy...
'When I came to, the general back-alley ambience of the suite was so rotten.
'So incredibly foul.
'How long had I been lying there?
'All these signs of violence.
'What had happened?
'There was evidence in this room of excessive consumption
'of almost every type of drug known to civilized man since 1544 ad.'
J“ Tammy, Tammy...
Oh, ah, Debbie.
Thank god.
Oh, Debbie. Hmm? Look.
'What kind of addict would need all these coconut husks
'and crushed honeydew rinds?
'Would the presence ofjunkies account for all these uneaten French fries?
'These puddles of glazed ketchup on the bureau?
'Maybe so.
'But then why all this booze
'and these crude pornographic photos smeared with mustard
'that had dried to a hard, yellow crust?
'These were not the hoofprints of your normal god-fearing junkie.
'It was too savage, too aggressive.'
Put your hands where I can see them.
What? What? Jesus god, man. Huh?
Put your hands where I can see them.
Put your hands where I can see them!
'Grim memories and bad flashbacks.
'Get a grip. Maintain.
'How many nights and weird mornings had this shit been going on?'
'Something ugly had happened. I was sure of it.'
Who is that? Oh. Shit, that's me.
- Help me! - The fuck! What the fuck?
Oh, shit.
- You're under arrest! - She must have used a pass key.
I was polishing my shoes in the closet when I noticed her sneaking in, so I took her.
- What made you do it? Who paid you off? - Nobody! I'm the maid!
Bullshit! You're just as much a part of it as they are.
- Part of what? - The goddamn dope ring.
You must know what's going on in this hotel.
Why do you think we're here?
H... I know you're the cops, but I thought you were just here for the convention.
I swear. All I wanted to do was clean up the room.
I don't know anything about no dope.
Come on, baby. Don't try to tell us you never heard of the grange gorman.
I swear to Jesus I never heard of that stuff.
Maybe she's telling the truth. Maybe she's not part of it.
I swear I'm not. I swear.
- In that case, maybe she can help. - Oh, yes, I'll help you all you want.
- I hate dope. - So do we.
I think we should put her on the payroll, see what she comes up with.
- You think you can handle it? - What?
One phone call every day.
Don't worry if it doesn't add up. That's our problem.
- You'd pay me for that? - You're damn right we would.
But the first time that you say anything about this to anybody
you will go straight to prison for the rest of your life.
- What's your name? - Alice.
Prove it!
Just ring linen service and ask for Alice.
All right, Alice.
You'll be contacted by inspector rock, Arthur rock.
He'll be posing as a politician, but you'll have no problem recognising him.
That's right, inspector rock will pay you in cash.
One thousand dollars on the ninth of every month.
Oh, lord! I'd do just about anything for that.
You and a lot of other people.
Come here. The password is, "one hand washes the other."
The minute you hear that you say, "I fear nothing."
Say it.
- I fear nothing. - Say it again!
- I fear nothing! - Very good.
Get the fuck out of here.
Oh, yeah, listen. Nice meeting you.
Oh, don't bother to make up the room.
Just leave a pile of towels and soap outside the door exactly at midnight.
That way we won't have to risk another one of these little incidents, will we?
Whatever you say, gentlemen.
Thank god for decent people.
- 'Say it again!' - 'I fear nothing!'
'Very good.'
'terrible gibberish.
'Splintered memories looming up out of the time fog.
'Just press play.'
'This is it, the American dream.
'Shit! We're sitting on the main nerve right now.'
yeah, don't get me started.
The owner always wanted to run away and join the circus when he was a kid.
Now the son of a bitch owns the circus.
Ah, man, a real license to steal.
Oh, yeah.
The American dream come true, man. Pure Horatio alger.
Yeah. Welcome to the happy place.
Listen, let's get down to brass tacks here.
- How much for the ape? - How much you got?
'How much do you think you'd take for the ape?
'Just wait here. I'll be back.'
'madness. It made no sense at all.'
'I desperately needed the facts.'
What the fuck is going on?
Where's the ape, man? Where's the ape?
Forget about it. He attacked an old man.
Bit off the head of the bartender, then the cops came and took him away.
Is that your car?
Someone should stop them!
You poor fools don't understand, do you?
This car is property of the world bank. That money goes to Italy.
You can't put on a circus without a tent.
- The top is completelyjammed. - You're right.
There's something wrong with the motor.
We're all riders of the storm.
- Where are you, you fucking monkey? - You can't do that!
You people voted for Hubert Humphrey. And you killed Jesus.
'There was every reason to believe that we'd been heading for trouble,
'that we'd pushed our luck a bit too far.'
oh, gosh, shit! God!
Right, er...
The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real.
No sympathy for the devil.
Keep that in mind.
Er... buy the ticket...
Er... take the ride.
Hey, there.
You folks wanna buy some heroin?
Hey, honkies! Goddamn it!
Pull ahead, will you?
I want to sell you some pure fucking scag!
Cheap! The real stuff. I just got back from Vietnam.
Scag.
I wanna sell you some pure fucking scag.
Shit! Fuck!
Now hear me, you bastard! Pull over! I'll kill you!
'Pull over! Come on!'
Oh, shit. Oh, oh.
Ok. Let's see here.
'The mentality of Las Vegas is so grossly atavistic
'that a really massive crime often slips by unrecognised.
'North Vegas is where you go
'when you've fucked up once too often on the strip.
'And when you're not even welcome in the cut-rate downtown places.'
'The north star coffee lounge
'seemed like a fairly safe haven from our storms.
'No hassles, no talk.
'Just a place to rest and regroup.
'I wasn't even hungry.
'There was nothing in the atmosphere of the north star to put me on my guard.'
psst!
Two glasses of iced water with ice.
Two.
'She looked like a burnt-out caricature of Jane Russell.
'She was definitely in charge here.
'He did it very casually,
'but I knew that our peace was about to be shattered.'
what was that?
What is this?
- It's a napkin. - Don't give me that bullshit.
I know what that means, you fat goddamn pimp bastard!
That's the name of a horse I used to own, ma'am.
What's wrong with you?
'The question Mark was emphasised.'
You listen to me, you son of a bitch.
I gotta take a lot of shit in this place,
but I don't have to take it off no spic pimp!
Anybody that knows anything knows that.
Go on! Pay your check and get the hell out of here!
You want me to call the cops? I'll call the fuck...
Oh, shit.
Fuck.
Want me to call the cops?
How much is that lemon meringue pie?
'Her eyes were turgid with fear,
'but her brain was functioning on some basic motor survival level.'
35 cents.
How much is that lemon meringue pie?
35 cents.
Whoo! What a waste of talent.
No, honey, I mean the whole pie.
The whole pie.
What, three?
Three? Four?
Five? Hmm?
Five.
I'll be in the car.
'The sight of the blade had triggered bad memories.
'The glazed look in her eyes said her throat had been cut.
'She was still in the grip of paralysis when we left.'
'It was all over now.
'We'd abused every rule that Vegas lived by.
'Threatening the locals, abusing the tourists,
'terrifying the help.
'The only chance now, I felt,
'was the possibility that we'd gone to such excess
'that nobody in the position to bring the hammer down on us
'could possibly believe it.
'Fifteen minutes to get my attorney to the airport,
'could we make it?'
Christ!
- Oh, fuck! Fuck. - Whoa, shit! Whoa, shit!
Oh, god. Oh, god. You son of a bitch!
Oh, god.
- You're going the wrong way. - The next left.
Stop! Go! Fuck!
Take a right here. Take a right here.
Goddamn it. We're lost.
What are we doing out here on this godforsaken road?
The airport's over there. Goddamn it! It's over there.
I've never missed a plane yet.
- J“ oh, oh, yeah - j“ we're gonna knock ya, rock ya
- j“ oh, oh, yeah - j“ tonight we're gonna knock ya
j“ oh, oh, yeah
Hold on!
J“ oh, oh, yeah
j“ oh, oh, yeah... j“
all right. I'm gonna drop you right next to the plane.
Fuck you. I'm gonna have to take the blame. They'll crucify me.
- Right here, right here. - Ridiculous, man.
Just say you were hitchhiking to the airport, and I picked you up.
- You bastard. - Get out.
Hey, hey! Hey, listen.
Don't take any guff from these swine.
If you have any trouble, remember,
you can always send a telegram to the right people.
Yeah, explaining my position.
Some asshole wrote a poem about that once.
Probably good advice, if you have shit for brains.
'There he goes. One of god's own prototypes.
'A high-powered mutant of some kind
'never even considered for mass production.
'Too weird to live, and too rare to die.'
J“ there you stood on the edge of your feather
j“ expecting to fly... j“
'We're all wired into a survival trip now.
'No more of the speed that fuelled the '60s.
'That was the fatal flaw in Tim leary's trip.
'He crashed around america, selling "consciousness expansion"
'without ever giving a thought to the grim meat-hook realities that were lying in wait
'for all those people who took him seriously.
'All those pathetically eager acid freaks
'who thought they could buy peace and understanding for three bucks a hit.
'But their loss and failure is ours too.
'What leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole lifestyle
'that he helped create.
'A generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers,
'who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the acid culture.
'The desperate assumption that somebody or at least some force
'is tending the light at the end of the tunnel.'
'There was only one road back to la.
'Us interstate 15.
'Just a flat out high-speed burn through baker and barstow and berdoo.
'Then onto the Hollywood freeway,
'straight into frantic oblivion, safety, obscurity.
'Just another freak in the freak kingdom.'
j“ I was born in a crossfire hurricane
j“ but I howled at my ma in the driving rain
j“ but it's all right now
j“ in fact, it's a gas
j“ but it's all right
j“ I'm jumpin' Jack flash, it's a gas, gas, gas
J“ I was raised by a toothless, bearded hag
j“ I was schooled with a strap right across my back
j“ but it's all right now
j“ in fact, it's a gas
j“ but it's all right
j“ I'm jumpin' Jack flash, it's a gas, gas, gas
J“ I was drowned, I was washed up and left for dead
j“ I fell down to my feet and I saw they bled
j“ yeah, yeah
j“ I frowned at the crumbs of a crust of bread
j“ yeah, yeah, yeah
j“ I was crowned with a spike right through my head
j“ through my head
j“ but it's all right now
j“ in fact, it's a gas
j“ but it's all right
j“ I'm jumpin' Jack flash, it's a gas, gas, gas
j“ jumpin' Jack flash, it's a gas
j“ jumpin' Jack flash, it's a gas j“
J“ bright light city gonna set my soul
j“ it's gonna set my soul on fire
j“ I got a whole lotta money that's a-ready to burn
j“ so get those stakes up high
j“ there's a thousand pretty women waitin' out there
j“ they're all waitin' the devil may care
j“ and I'm just a devil with love to spare
j“ so viva Las Vegas
j“ viva Las Vegas
j“ how I wish that there were more
j“ than the 24 hours in the day
j“ even if I ran out of sleep
j“ boy, I wouldn't sleep a minute away
j“ oh, there's Blackjack and poker and the roulette wheel
j“ a fortune won and lost on every deal
j“ all you need's a strong heart and nerves of steel
j“ so viva Las Vegas
j“ viva Las Vegas
where the neon signs are flashing
j“ and the one-armed bandits crashing
j“ all those hopes down the drain
j“ viva Las Vegas turning day into night time
j“ turning night into daytime
j“ if you see it once you'll never be the same again
j“ I gotta keep on runnin' gonna have me some money
j“ if it costs me my very last dime
j“ if I wind up broke then I'll always remember
j“ that I had a swingin' time
j“ oh, I'm gonna give it everything I've got
j“ lady luck's with me, dice, stay hot
j“ got coke up my nose to dry away the snot
j“ so viva Las Vegas
j“ viva Las Vegas
j“ viva, viva
j“ Las Vegas
j“ whee! J“