1
00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:29,030
This product really works.

2
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,532
Not only does it clean
and condition the hair,

3
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:35,703
but it sets the hair as well by getting
deep down into the root system.

4
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:37,204
Each blade has been authenticated

5
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:41,333
by an actual 13th-century Japanese
warlord's direct descendent.

6
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:44,670
We are talking a 42-inch razor blade,
folks.

7
00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:47,631
I personally have cut myself
numerous times.

8
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:48,799
[Yells]

9
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:52,011
Money is a living,
breathing thing, geri.

10
00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:54,889
If you disrespect money,
its feelings get hurt,

11
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:58,100
and it will leave you just like
your two husbands did.

12
00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:01,270
When you are down,
your money is sad.

13
00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:06,150
And when you are strong,
your money is very, very happy.

14
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:17,995
Nu'

15
00:01:18,162 --> 00:01:21,957
no fear.
No panic.

16
00:01:22,124 --> 00:01:25,920
Just be myself.
Just be myself.

17
00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:30,674
I'm ready.
I'm prepared.

18
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:32,301
The new guy's gonna like me

19
00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:36,055
'cause I'm a skilled
and confident profession--

20
00:01:36,222 --> 00:01:37,848
[knock at door]
Mr. Rick, you--

21
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:40,893
thank you. Appreciate it.
Thank you, honey.

22
00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:44,647
Good, better, best.

23
00:01:44,814 --> 00:01:48,984
Never let it rest until your good
is better and your better is best.

24
00:01:49,652 --> 00:02:15,094
Nu'

25
00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:19,265
and then, you know, when crucial
decisions are made,

26
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:21,350
people get left behind.
We're the future.

27
00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:24,270
Listen. It reminds me of a story
in my personal life.

28
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,522
In the early '60s, my father was
in the eyeglass business.

29
00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:30,985
And one day, my Uncle, uh,
comes to him and he says,

30
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:35,823
"Leo, we gotta make a change.
The future is in plexiglas."

31
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:39,326
My father said, "plexiglas is crap,
and I'm not gonna sell lT."

32
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:43,289
And he didn't, and you know what
happened? The public wanted it.

33
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,791
My Uncle got into PLEXI,
made a fortune.

34
00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:49,670
My dad, he hurled himself out
the 17th-floor window of his office.

35
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:53,007
If lT'D been plexiglas,
he'd still be-- I'll hold.

36
00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:55,342
Hi, of course, I'm kidding.
I'm pretty sure my dad's still alive.

37
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,887
The point is: Don't be like him.
Don't miss the boat.

38
00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:59,513
Come on, sell your product
on our channel.

39
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,683
In 6 months, if you still don't like us,
we call it quits and no hard feel--

40
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,936
of course it makes sense.
I know it is.

41
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:09,440
Great, and your stockholders
won't regret it, it's bulletproof.

42
00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:12,568
Fire!

43
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:14,987
[Screams]

44
00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,865
Ricky, these eye MASSAGERS,
what do ya think, huh?

45
00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:21,368
What is that, the white mask of Zorro?
You're SPOOKIN' me out.

46
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,787
Ricky. Ricky.
Great. Hey, Al!

47
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,331
- HOW'VE you been?
- Good, good, good.

48
00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:26,665
Look, I wanted to show you these mats.

49
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,042
I've seen those.
No, thank you.

50
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:29,543
These are different. They're doormats.
I've seen them.

51
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,961
They're made to look like grass.

52
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,630
Got it. Don't want it.
Thank you.

53
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:35,841
Okay. Tim George has offered me
a good price over at QVC.

54
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,886
Okay, lemme see, lemme see.
What's the gimmick? Give me the thing.

55
00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:41,013
It works for all four seasons. Yeah?

56
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:45,017
This one is summer. Autumn. Spring.

57
00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:46,644
Look like kids did this.

58
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,437
Winter. Huh? Oh, look at that.

59
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,773
We call it the four seasons pad.
It's educational.

60
00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:53,234
Educational?
That's not gonna get me to buy them.

61
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,737
- Tim George wants 100,000.
- That gets me to buy 'em.

62
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,822
Okay, come up with a name other
than the four seasons pad.

63
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,407
That sounds like a sanitary napkin,
or I don't know what.

64
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,034
And call me later and we'll
work out the details.

65
00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:05,704
Can we work out the deal now,
in case later you're in, um--

66
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:06,747
[man]
Hey, Ricky.

67
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,249
I know MCBAINBRIDGE starts today.
What, it's like I'm getting fired?

68
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,334
No, no! I did not--I'll give you
a chop. Okay. Hey!

69
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:12,127
Leave some here, and we'll get
what's-his-name--

70
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,837
the dog from FRASIER--
Eddie, great.

71
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,256
Eddie to sell some on
his show tonight. Tonight.

72
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,757
Great. Thank you. Thank you.
Call me up. Thank you.

73
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,592
Thank you. Okay.

74
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,929
[Gasps] Ladies!
How many lovely ladies can there be?

75
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:25,224
Hey! Hey! FRESCA. Mmm!
How's my favorite foot model?

76
00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:27,351
- Great.
- You look so beautiful.

77
00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,686
Let me see that foot.

78
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,646
- What are we selling?
- Mood toe rings.

79
00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:32,690
[Gasps] Gimme the shoe.
Take the shoe.

80
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:34,400
Take that.
Oh, look at the--

81
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:37,111
oh! Oh! This makes me happy.

82
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:39,613
Look at the toes.
Like candies, like red hots.

83
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:44,368
So succulent. Excuse me. Hello.
Want to know your emotions?

84
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:48,247
Maybe some other time.
I know how I'm feeling today.

85
00:04:48,414 --> 00:04:50,416
[Ladies]
Ooh! Wait a minute.

86
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:53,294
I don't know. Hang on.
Wait. Wait a second.

87
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,421
You can't jump to
a conclusion like that.

88
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,172
Let me do this.
Let me do this.

89
00:04:57,339 --> 00:05:00,217
[Clears throat] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

90
00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:02,094
Your pulse is a little fast.
Let me guess.

91
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,013
You're feeling lost and like
you could use some help.

92
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:05,347
Could I pitch in?

93
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:06,640
Oh, that's funny.

94
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,058
I was going to say
the same thing about you.

95
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:10,728
- What, I look lost?
- No, that you need some help.

96
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,479
Well, like maybe a little
help with your name.

97
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,648
I've never seen you here before.
I'm sure I'd remember.

98
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,151
You're definitely not
one of the models.

99
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:19,653
Oh, thank you.
That's always nice to hear.

100
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,322
Oh, no, no, of course
I meant you're very--

101
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,282
late.

102
00:05:23,449 --> 00:05:25,659
My name's Ricky, by the way.
What's your whole name again?

103
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,828
I didn't give it to you.

104
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,289
Mmm!

105
00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:32,666
[Chuckling] Lay it on me.
What have we got?

106
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,793
Tell me everything.
James brown is doing the show.

107
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,337
Hi, everybody.

108
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,089
I'm Clarence Reynolds, here with
the godfather of soul, James brown.

109
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:42,509
Welcome to GBSN. Welcome back.
Ow! I feel good this morning.

110
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,553
Good to have you with us.
It's a groove BEIN' back with ya.

111
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,097
Now, you brought
the soul survival system.

112
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:48,724
The only way out.

113
00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:50,225
It's like a personal security system.

114
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,478
Now, how does it work,
just in case, God forbid,

115
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:53,937
there is a medical emergency?

116
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:57,316
Okay, if you fall down,
you mash the panic button.

117
00:05:57,483 --> 00:06:01,111
Help me! Help me! Good God!
Help me! Help me! Good God!

118
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,530
Help me! Help me! Good God!

119
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,115
[Chatter, laughter]

120
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:07,284
Is it just me, but everything he says
is not entirely clear?

121
00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,536
Thank you very much.
Phone, please. Okay.

122
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,205
[Phone ringing]

123
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:13,248
- Now, is this all we've sold?
- Yep.

124
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,209
Ricky?
Ricky. Yeah?

125
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:17,419
Jack Spencer on the phone for you.
No, tell him I'm busy.

126
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:19,922
He says it's important.

127
00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:22,007
[James brown]
Hit me! Ow!

128
00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:24,051
[Clarence] Oh yeah, that'll
get you the help you need.

129
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:26,220
Here he comes.
Thank you.

130
00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:28,889
Jack, hi! What a nice SURPRI--huh?
What--what's the matter?

131
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,557
Well-- yeah.

132
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:36,522
Well, that lS--
that's an outrage.

133
00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:38,565
The bank said everything was fine.

134
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,318
These bastard people with their
computer screw-ups.

135
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:45,030
I'm gonna call 'em right up and really
straighten this out. Thank you. Bye.

136
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:50,035
Um, Barry, you need to move some money
from my savings to checking.

137
00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,578
The car payment bounced.

138
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,331
And don't tell me there's
nothing left to transfer.

139
00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:56,542
[Teeth click]

140
00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,419
Is that what you were
going to tell me?

141
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:02,798
Is that what that means?

142
00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:06,635
Sell some stock. Wow.

143
00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:08,679
I'm gonna have to get the new guy
to like me so much,

144
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,222
he's gonna want to give me
the raise right away.

145
00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:13,142
You think that's overly optimistic?

146
00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,269
Thirty seconds to air!

147
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:16,645
You are the best!
Yeah!

148
00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:18,439
Your stuff is the best!
I can do it!

149
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,942
Now go in there and ram it down
their throats! Yeah! Yeah!

150
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,778
I'm 67 years old.

151
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,364
I've made love twice today.

152
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:31,827
Why? Because I'm wearing
new clam by VONTE.

153
00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:35,622
Clam is the mysterious
new fragrance from the sea.

154
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,624
Clam works.

155
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:41,879
It can be yours for just 22.72.

156
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,547
[Woman]
Four easy payments.

157
00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,632
Oh!

158
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,968
[Clears throat]
Three times!

159
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,679
Danny's been fastened
to the studio ceiling

160
00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:54,099
using the patented cool bond
no-heat glue gun.

161
00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:57,060
I wouldn't trust any other glue gun
with my grandson's life.

162
00:07:57,227 --> 00:08:00,314
Should you?
Uh-uh.

163
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:01,940
J' money j'

164
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,775
but, you know, based on
everything I've just said,

165
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:06,195
I think you can see that it's pretty
obvious that a raise is kind of, uh,

166
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,989
uh, kind of in order.

167
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,741
Based on what you just said,

168
00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:14,578
I think it's pretty obvious that
a brain scan is in order.

169
00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:17,122
HAYMAN, things are not clicking
for you here.

170
00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:20,125
Your sales have been flat
for 27 months.

171
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:22,878
No--well, I mean, that depends
on how you define "flat."

172
00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:25,422
Stagnant, no growth, dead.

173
00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,716
Oh, flat. Fair enough,

174
00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:30,344
but I'm sure you agree that
the product this year has been--

175
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,347
it's not what you sell!
It's the selling itself.

176
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,891
It's about making people feel
they have to have it

177
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:39,061
when they don't really want it.

178
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:46,193
HAYMAN, I'm giving you two weeks to
get things moving, or you're history.

179
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,320
Wait a second.

180
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,364
First of all, two weeks--
you gotta give me more time than that.

181
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:53,200
Hold it! Hold it right there!
Yep. Yep.

182
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,869
Right there.

183
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,413
Every day on my way to work,

184
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:02,125
I pass a dozen guys carrying signs.

185
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:04,086
"Homeless family."
"Will work for food."

186
00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:06,213
"Pathetic vet. God bless."

187
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:08,340
[Chuckles]
There's nothing I can do about them.

188
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:10,676
The aclu says they have
a right to stand there.

189
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,678
So, fine, let 'em stand there.

190
00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:16,640
But here, in my office,
in my own goddamn office,

191
00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:19,768
I don't have to live with anybody
begging me for anything!

192
00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:22,771
You got it?

193
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,525
Thanks for listening.

194
00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:29,861
My door is always open.

195
00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:35,325
Well, I told you

196
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,953
there was a meeting
at 3:00 on the dot.

197
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,330
An hour late, there's a reason.
15 minutes late shows

198
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:43,750
contempt, disorganization, laziness.

199
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,919
I had to kill the entire marketing
department.

200
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,505
Took a little longer than I expected.

201
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:52,217
- Hi. I'm Kate NEWELL.
- Of course you are.

202
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:56,930
- This is Ricky HAYMAN.
- Oh! I've been reading all about you.

203
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,683
- Oh, yeah?
- Twenty-seven months of flatness.

204
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:03,103
Boy, that's some sort of record.

205
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:06,565
Kate is a media analyst.
She went to an Ivy league school,

206
00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:10,110
learned all sorts of fancy ways
to sell things.

207
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,155
I want her to work closely with you
for the next two weeks

208
00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:15,532
and see if you can
get sales up 8%.

209
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:18,869
Eight percent?
Yeah.

210
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,662
Well, why not shoot for 8%--

211
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:23,498
sit down. Tell him the problems.

212
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:27,711
Okay. There are two problems.
One: The network has no identity.

213
00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:29,963
If you put all of
the shopping channels together,

214
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,132
there's no way you can tell them apart.

215
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,135
I know that if we can create
a clear, dynamic identity,

216
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,970
along with better sales techniques,

217
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,972
we will quickly pull ahead
of our competitors

218
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,766
and easily reach our growth target.

219
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,976
Identity and sales techniques.

220
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,395
We have a meeting in an hour
with Scott HAWKES from new vision

221
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,648
to come up with a more complete plan.

222
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,358
Well, good.
Well, good.

223
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,318
Vision, uh, is certainly good.

224
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:55,238
And new vision--
wow. Newer?

225
00:10:55,405 --> 00:11:10,379
Nu'

226
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:12,422
[phone rings]

227
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:13,840
[Ricky]
Hello.

228
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,467
[Barry] Theresa called to
confirm dinner at her place,

229
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:16,885
but charlene also called--

230
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:18,303
Barry. Barry, any business calls?

231
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:19,680
Oh, um, no.

232
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,682
But Tim George is sitting
in McBAINBRIDGE'S office--

233
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,016
[static]

234
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,393
- Later.
Later.

235
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:25,977
[Pops]
[Tire squeals]

236
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,354
What's happening?

237
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,273
Hang on. Blowout?

238
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:39,408
This is just a great day for me, okay,
slow down.

239
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:41,368
Just a great, great day for me.

240
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:43,495
When's the giant meteor just
gonna take me out, huh?

241
00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:45,163
[Touch tone dialing]

242
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,707
I cannot--

243
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,250
[busy signal]

244
00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:50,043
We're in a dead spot.

245
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:53,213
Uh, this I know.

246
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,849
Hey, look at this.
Ideal. Ideal.

247
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:06,685
Here, pop the trunk,
and we'll change it.

248
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,921
Whoo!
Aah!

249
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,798
[Car horn honks]
[Laughter]

250
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,592
Loser!

251
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,761
[Shouts, whoops]
[Shouting, laughing]

252
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,847
Thanks for not using a can!

253
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,766
I love cherry.

254
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,684
[Ricky] Oh, don't do that, please.
What are you talking about?

255
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,227
I got it right down to a--
hey, I said, don't do that.

256
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,437
I got it right down to--

257
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:53,106
Ricky, you're supposed to lower the
tire so you can tighten the lug nuts.

258
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,108
Katie, Katie, Katie,
I said don't do it.

259
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,860
I've got it right to the level
that I want it.

260
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,361
I'm tightening the nut.

261
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,030
Okay, Mr. expert.

262
00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:01,948
Okay, car mechanic,
oh, extraordinaire.

263
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,911
I know--
oh, man. Oh, man.

264
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:08,747
What a gal.
[Grunts]

265
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,672
Ricky.

266
00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:20,801
- Ricky.
- What?

267
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:24,179
- Somebody's coming.
- What, roadside assistance?

268
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,515
I don't think so.

269
00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:30,685
What?

270
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:32,854
Uh-oh. He's waving.
Don't wave back.

271
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,856
Hey, hey!
I said, don't wave back.

272
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,358
What? How do you not wave back?

273
00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:37,859
When somebody waves to you,
you wave back.

274
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:39,486
Not if you don't wanna
acknowledge that person.

275
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:40,862
What are you talking about?

276
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,572
What's he gonna do?
He's wearing his pajamas.

277
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,199
- He could be dangerous.
- How dangerous could he be?

278
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,701
- He kisses the ground, for God's sake.
- I rest my case.

279
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:49,996
Nothing's interesting here.
Go about your business.

280
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,706
Hello, two people!

281
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,834
Hi! What? Kate!
Hello?

282
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,418
He's friendly?
What are you doing?

283
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,170
Are you in trouble and in need
of my help?

284
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,964
Oh, no. Thank you. No, no.

285
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,007
- Oh, yes, you are.
- No, we're not.

286
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,509
Stay there.
I'm coming over there.

287
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:03,677
- No, thank you.
- Stay right there.

288
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:05,554
- Stay there! Stay there!
- You need my help.

289
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,597
No, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God,
no, no, no. Oh, my goodness.

290
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:13,854
Go back!
[Both chattering]

291
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,273
See, I was right.
You do need my help.

292
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,567
What do you think you're doing?
What can I do to help you two?

293
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:21,027
You're very kind, sir, really,
look at this.

294
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,821
But everything's under control,
thank you very much. My name's "g."

295
00:14:22,988 --> 00:14:24,239
- I'm Kate.
- Hi.

296
00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:26,199
- And this lS--
- hi. How are you?

297
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,452
Robert. Didn't I say that?
Ricky.

298
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,830
- Robert Ricky.
- Hi, Robert Ricky.

299
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:33,540
- Nice to meet you.
- It's nice to meet you.

300
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,959
Oh, it's such a--such a treat.

301
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:37,460
Take care.
[Chuckles]

302
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,296
Would you mind if I ask what
"g" stands for?

303
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:42,299
Just "g" with a period, that's it.
That's my name, g.

304
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,758
I like that.
Okay. Yes.

305
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:46,386
You have to excuse my appearance.
I know I'm a little sticky here.

306
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,346
When you walk down the road
looking like this,

307
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,931
sometimes people
throw things at you.

308
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,308
You wouldn't happen to have
a wet wipe, would you?

309
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,560
Actually, I do.

310
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:56,187
I love a woman that
carries wet wipes.

311
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,567
Mmm, premium moist towelettes,
my favorite.

312
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:01,860
I carry them everywhere.

313
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,236
You do?

314
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,905
That's your need to be prepared,
perfectly prepared.

315
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,698
Probably drove your
last boyfriend crazy.

316
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,450
What he didn't understand
is that deep down inside

317
00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:09,910
you never really feel prepared.

318
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:13,038
That's why you're
always over-prepared.

319
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:15,248
My God.
How did you know that?

320
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,585
Because he sees all and knows all?

321
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:20,837
[Laughs]
That was a good one.

322
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,715
So, thank you so much,
and good luck to you.

323
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,467
Sorry I couldn't be
of more help to you.

324
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,177
Oh, no. Oh, no.
You were wonderful.

325
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,678
And it was so nice meeting you.

326
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:32,807
Oh, same here, Kate, wonderful.
Pleasure was all mine. Yeah.

327
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:34,601
Nice meeting you, too, Robert Ricky.
My pleasure.

328
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:37,771
May we give you a lift? Oh, no. I have
to get back to my pilgrimage.

329
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:41,358
You sure?
You heard the pilgrim.

330
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:43,151
Very funny.
Yeah, thanks.

331
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:45,737
I really like you.
Yes. I like you too.

332
00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:47,656
Kate. It was so nice meeting you.

333
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:51,618
It was very special.
Yeah. Thank you. Thanks again.

334
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,703
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.

335
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,373
- Now, watch out for the cars there.
- Careful!

336
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,296
[Clears throat]

337
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,550
- Kate?
- What?

338
00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,886
- Are you insane?
- What?

339
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:12,722
Is that what you do, offer guys you
meet on the highway rides?

340
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,307
He offered us help.

341
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,643
Oh, you're new to this planet,
aren't you?

342
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,646
[Engine starts]
[Laughing]

343
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:21,648
[Squeals]
Oh, my God!

344
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,608
[Screams]

345
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:31,825
[Kate]
Oh my God!

346
00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:33,868
Ai-Yi-Yi.
Oh, my God.

347
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:37,330
Oh, my God. Is he all right?
Give him air. Give him air.

348
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,457
He's not conscious.
Maybe he's meditating?

349
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:43,003
Face down in the gravel? He was--
he was kissing the ground before.

350
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,547
Ricky, this is real. Wait a second.
I didn't hit him.

351
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:49,050
I know it. I stopped.
He must've, um, fainted. Oh, God.

352
00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:51,803
- Call 9-1-1.
- Okay.

353
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:55,932
[Busy signal]
Nothing.

354
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:59,394
Okay, okay, okay. Let's not panic.
Let's--let's, um--

355
00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:02,272
let's get him into the car.
Okay. I'll take the--

356
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:05,525
unless--wait a minute.
Maybe he shouldn't be moved.

357
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,569
And we just drive to a call box
and send somebody. Oh!

358
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,696
Oh, God! No!
What? What?

359
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,197
That's not disgusting.
I'm thinking things out.

360
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,615
Let's get him into the car.

361
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,035
This is exactly why you don't wave.
This is exactly why you don't wave.

362
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,453
Oh, it's my fault now?

363
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,705
Let's not argue about it. Come on.

364
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:21,875
[Woman on p.A.] Dr. Hoffman, 308.
Dr. Hoffman, call 308.

365
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,419
How would you like
to take care of payment?

366
00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:28,798
Payment? We just brought him in.
I don't know him.

367
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,800
Well neither do I.

368
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,260
Here. I'll take care of it.

369
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:35,513
What are you doing?
What are you doing? No, Kate.

370
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,058
I'm bucks up, I guess.
Sponge baths for everybody.

371
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,309
Thank you.

372
00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:40,769
- Hi. I'm Dr. Simon.
- Kate NEWELL.

373
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,937
Oh, the doctor. Good, good.
Kate NEWELL.

374
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,065
G is suffering from heat exhaustion,

375
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,567
but, more seriously,
has some arrhythmia,

376
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:51,321
an irregular heartbeat which may
or may not be chronic.

377
00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:54,407
I think we should keep him overnight
and monitor him.

378
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,618
Overnight?
What do you think brought this on?

379
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,912
- It may be congenital.
- My thought, my thought.

380
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,498
Or due to some traumatic event,
a shock to the system.

381
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:04,000
We'd like to run a few more tests
to be sure.

382
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:07,045
Thank you so much. Appreciate it.
Appreciate all your time.

383
00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:09,422
Thank you, doctor.
Don't go crazy on those tests.

384
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,133
Keep those to a minimum.
Thank you so much.

385
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,928
What? No, I heard, yeah.
I might've been responsible.

386
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:17,347
I feel terrible, but I think he's in
good hands here, don't you?

387
00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,599
Don't you feel good about this place?
He seems so strong.

388
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,101
I think he's gonna be fine.

389
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:24,187
And, you know, out of every
negative comes some good.

390
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:25,772
Like what?

391
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:29,025
Well, I think this tragedy has
brought us closer together.

392
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:30,443
Oh, please.

393
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,153
- What?
- No.

394
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,988
This is gonna make a great story
for our kids.

395
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:35,448
In your dreams.

396
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,701
And, of course, one's a girl.
I think we should name her z.

397
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:42,372
You know, Annie, I was sitting home
alone one day,

398
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:47,293
and all of a sudden I was just
thinking, "balls."

399
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,295
- Balls?
- Yes.

400
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,215
And that is when I came up
with the concept

401
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:55,176
for the laundry solution
cleaning ball.

402
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:58,596
That's ingenious--
balls that clean.

403
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:03,059
Yes. And you know my Carl.
He is a homicide detective.

404
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:06,563
- MIAMl'S finest.
- Oh, well, we like to think so.

405
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:09,774
And you can imagine the stains
that he comes home with.

406
00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:12,861
You see, you have your blood;
You have your grass.

407
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,988
- You have your sweat.
- Vomit?

408
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,157
Oh, yes, absolutely,
that's your vomit.

409
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:20,660
- I don't see any lipstick there.
- Oh, you bad girl!

410
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,704
These gals have something,
don't they?

411
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,290
You know, I don't see a thing wrong
with these ladies.

412
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:31,671
Who better than these bouncy,
homegrown--

413
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:35,341
hi. I was reviewing the sales
from last night's stuff.

414
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,968
What the dilly--oh, look.

415
00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:39,095
Tell me. Eddie the dog couldn't move
the grass mats, maybe sold ten.

416
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:41,931
No. He's phoning it in.
I'm gonna talk to his trainer.

417
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,017
[Phone rings]
Control.

418
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,060
Hey, what are you doing
tomorrow at night?

419
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:49,189
'Cause I'm having a bunch
of potential distributors over

420
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:52,358
for cocktails at my place,
including Nino CERRUTI,

421
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,527
who's starting his new ready-to-wear
line which I would love

422
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,196
to get here on good buy.

423
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,114
So lT'D be so great
if you could pop over.

424
00:19:58,281 --> 00:19:59,407
[Barry]
Yeah. Hold on.

425
00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:00,783
I'm sorry. I have plans.

426
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:04,037
- Ricky. Ricky!
- You do?

427
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:05,997
There's a consonant here to see you.

428
00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,999
What? Shh-shh! A visitor?

429
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:11,377
- A bit.
- Huh! No kidding?

430
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,421
Yeah, he doesn't know
anything about it.

431
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:18,259
It's just if you were there, you know,
lT'D show support and team spirit,

432
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:22,013
and I think that lT'D win him over;
I think you would.

433
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:25,183
Strictly business?

434
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:29,020
Kate, this is me.

435
00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:30,939
[Cleaning ball lady]
It works so easily.

436
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:33,358
I'll try.

437
00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:37,612
You simply apply laundry solution
to the stains.

438
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:41,741
You toss it in the washer.
That's all.

439
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:44,160
- That simple?
- That simple.

440
00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:46,454
[Man]
What fantastic balls.

441
00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:49,249
Oh, Jesus! What--
what is this?

442
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:54,087
[Crew chattering]

443
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:57,757
No! Wait a minute.
Barry, call security.

444
00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,384
Get them on the floor immediately,
please.

445
00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:02,804
[Woman] Go to James brown.
Hello, security?

446
00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:07,809
Uh, the, uh--
I can apply this while it's on you.

447
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:10,103
[G] Great. That's even better.

448
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:11,521
[Woman]
All right.

449
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:12,939
Stay right here.

450
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,440
When I say go, get him out of there.

451
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:17,235
All right. Here we go.
Right, right, right there.

452
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:22,240
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

453
00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:24,450
I see a face on this.
Come look at this.

454
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:25,994
Do you see a face here?

455
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,246
Do you see that?
I don't know.

456
00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:30,373
Can I have your headset?
Thank you.

457
00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,000
Look.
Look.

458
00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:35,420
[Gasps]
It's the baby Jesus.

459
00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:38,715
No, that's not Jesus.
That's MERV Griffin.

460
00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:40,091
- No?
- What?

461
00:21:40,258 --> 00:21:41,342
Look. Upside-down. You see?

462
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:42,510
Oh!

463
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:44,053
Okay, listen up.
Jim, camera three.

464
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:46,347
Get a tight shot of the sign.

465
00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:47,932
Cut to camera three on Ricky's word.

466
00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:50,310
See? Look.
I'll make it look at you.

467
00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:51,436
Oh!

468
00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:53,313
See? And he's looking at--
he's looking at you.

469
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,064
He's looking at me!

470
00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:56,691
Sam, when I give the word,
cut to camera three

471
00:21:56,858 --> 00:21:58,484
and go to the teaser for PEPPERTOWN.

472
00:21:58,651 --> 00:21:59,986
Three, get ready.
Ready?

473
00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:01,279
PEPPERTOWN teaser.
On his word.

474
00:22:01,446 --> 00:22:02,488
It's amazing.

475
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,615
One person's cherry stain is
another person's talk show host.

476
00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:06,075
- Now.
- Go.

477
00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:08,328
It's all around us, we just have
to look for it, you know?

478
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:10,496
Good. Good, good, good.

479
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,498
Come on.
Get him out.

480
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,000
[Chattering]

481
00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:15,460
Okay. We're off.
Take him to my office.

482
00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:16,836
I'm right behind you.

483
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:18,212
Robert Ricky.
Look at this.

484
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,839
This looks exactly like MERV Griffin.

485
00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:21,215
We're gonna have a talk.
Let's have a talk.

486
00:22:21,382 --> 00:22:22,508
Oh, okay.

487
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:23,926
Sorry, ladies. We're off.
Hang with us.

488
00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:26,346
And, you know, don't--everybody's
saying "balls" way too much.

489
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:27,764
Don't say "balls."
Don't say "blue balls."

490
00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:30,350
We're selling laundry solution.
That's what to say.

491
00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:32,560
You're way too in love
with "balls," aren't ya?

492
00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:35,355
That's all I feel like I'm hearing, is
"balls, balls, balls, balls, balls."

493
00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:38,358
Robert Ricky!
I'm right there.

494
00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:40,610
[Annie]
We'll be back on soon.

495
00:22:40,777 --> 00:22:42,737
I thought it was Jesus.
It was MERV.

496
00:22:42,904 --> 00:22:44,864
I thought it looked
like Karl Malden.

497
00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:46,532
Thanks, guys.
Sure.

498
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:48,201
Thank you, Cedric.
Thank you, Ted.

499
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:49,535
On you go.
Thank you, Cedric and Ted.

500
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,704
Thank you for bringing me
to Robert Ricky.

501
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:52,955
Okay.

502
00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:55,041
What a wonderful place
you have here. Exhilarating.

503
00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:56,376
<i>'?</i>

504
00:22:56,542 --> 00:22:58,544
- I can feel your energy in this room.
- Yeah. Sir.

505
00:22:58,711 --> 00:22:59,754
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing?

506
00:22:59,921 --> 00:23:01,339
Bad idea?
Bad idea?

507
00:23:01,506 --> 00:23:03,132
It's a bad idea? Look at this place.
No, no. Listen. Listen.

508
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:04,509
Hey! What's happening?

509
00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:06,636
[Inhales] I can feel the
excitement in this place.

510
00:23:06,803 --> 00:23:09,389
G? What are you doing?
What happened?

511
00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:10,807
Yes?

512
00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:12,183
I'd like to give you the benefit
of the doubt here.

513
00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:13,726
You're obviously from out of town
and look real unfamiliar. G!

514
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:15,311
Oh, Kate! How are you?
Look who's up and around.

515
00:23:15,478 --> 00:23:17,063
So good to see you.
You know something?

516
00:23:17,230 --> 00:23:18,439
Let me tell you.

517
00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:20,149
I don't know if it's you that makes
this dress look incredible

518
00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:22,902
or vice-VERSA, but either way
it's a winning combination.

519
00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:24,695
Oh, thank you.
But what were you doing?

520
00:23:24,862 --> 00:23:28,074
- You can't just jump on TV like that.
- I'm sorry. I had a stain.

521
00:23:28,241 --> 00:23:30,660
- Yeah. Did McB see that?
- No, I don't think so.

522
00:23:30,827 --> 00:23:32,995
Okay, well, maybe he doesn't have to
hear about it, because--

523
00:23:33,162 --> 00:23:36,374
because, after all, if certain people
hadn't waved to certain people,

524
00:23:36,541 --> 00:23:39,752
as well-intentioned and kind of dopey
as it was,

525
00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:41,629
I think we see now that
it was very misguided.

526
00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:43,047
We'll talk about the whole thing.

527
00:23:43,214 --> 00:23:44,424
Listen, we're right in the middle
of our day here.

528
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:45,716
Did you come for a reason?

529
00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:47,718
Oh, yes, I did. I came because
the hospital just released me,

530
00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:50,471
and they informed me that you paid
my doctor's bill, yeah.

531
00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:53,349
And I just wanted to come down and
thank you personally, Robert Ricky.

532
00:23:53,516 --> 00:23:54,809
Ricky. Just call me Ricky.

533
00:23:54,976 --> 00:23:56,352
You're shortening your name,
just like me.

534
00:23:56,519 --> 00:23:57,812
Wait 'til you get to just "r."

535
00:23:57,979 --> 00:23:59,355
The time you'll save will put hours
on your life, trust me.

536
00:23:59,522 --> 00:24:00,731
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you
thank you so much,

537
00:24:00,898 --> 00:24:03,276
and if there's anything that I can do
to repay you, just let me know.

538
00:24:03,443 --> 00:24:05,445
Ah, I gotcha!
I gotcha!

539
00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:07,280
You know what would
make me the happiest?

540
00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:08,739
What's that?

541
00:24:08,906 --> 00:24:10,450
Knowing that you were
back on your way,

542
00:24:10,616 --> 00:24:14,162
searching, healing, following that
golden, golden path of yours.

543
00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:16,831
And may God, or whatever it is you
believe in, smile upon your journey.

544
00:24:16,998 --> 00:24:18,624
There's a door right at
the bottom of the stairs.

545
00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:20,793
Wait, what did Dr. Simon say?

546
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,379
Well, the doctor told me I should stay
out of the sun for a couple of weeks,

547
00:24:23,546 --> 00:24:25,506
and then I should come back and see him,
have another checkup,

548
00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:28,468
and if everything panned out,
then I can resume my pilgrimage.

549
00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:30,136
Where will you stay?

550
00:24:30,303 --> 00:24:32,305
During the day, I can stay in
a shopping mall or something.

551
00:24:32,472 --> 00:24:34,557
And at night, it's really not that bad.
Shopping malls are great here.

552
00:24:34,724 --> 00:24:37,101
- That's good.
- No!

553
00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:38,644
That's not right.

554
00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:41,189
You wouldn't be stuck here
if it weren't for us.

555
00:24:41,856 --> 00:24:43,900
Okay. Okay. Um here.

556
00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:48,154
Here's, um--here's $180.

557
00:24:48,321 --> 00:24:50,907
Find yourself a motel room, rest up
and consider us even Steven.

558
00:24:51,073 --> 00:24:53,075
Absolutely not.
There's no way I can accept money.

559
00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:55,203
I'm sorry, but thank you.
I don't want to offend.

560
00:24:55,369 --> 00:24:56,621
You're very grateful.

561
00:24:56,787 --> 00:24:57,955
Why don't you come stay
at my place?

562
00:24:58,122 --> 00:24:59,457
[Both]
What?

563
00:24:59,624 --> 00:25:01,000
I mean it. I couldn't let you
stay out in this heat.

564
00:25:01,167 --> 00:25:02,835
What if something happened to you?
I'd never forgive myself.

565
00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:05,296
I don't know.
I don't think I can do that.

566
00:25:05,463 --> 00:25:07,089
He can't do that.
It's a religious thing, Kate.

567
00:25:07,256 --> 00:25:08,549
You'll never understand.

568
00:25:08,716 --> 00:25:11,052
No, believe me. It would be much worse
for me knowing you were

569
00:25:11,219 --> 00:25:12,637
out on the streets.

570
00:25:12,803 --> 00:25:14,847
It's air-conditioned.
Great pool.

571
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:16,140
Really?

572
00:25:16,307 --> 00:25:18,351
Uh-huh. I can't cook,
but I order a mean takeout.

573
00:25:18,518 --> 00:25:22,522
Oh, man. Well, I know how to eat some
mean takeout too.

574
00:25:22,688 --> 00:25:25,816
And if you spill anything, you'll know
who's got the wet wipes for it.

575
00:25:25,983 --> 00:25:28,861
Or the stain ball. That'll be fun.
lT'LL be like a slumber party.

576
00:25:29,028 --> 00:25:32,198
We could dance, wear our JAMMIES.
This is so great.

577
00:25:32,365 --> 00:25:34,033
I wish I had my camera.

578
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,535
[Imitates camera clicking]
Ah, this is so sweet.

579
00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:38,079
But, Kate, I cannot in good conscience
let g stay with you.

580
00:25:38,246 --> 00:25:41,624
This is my fault, now that I've
thought about it.

581
00:25:41,791 --> 00:25:44,877
It's my responsibility.
G, please stay with me.

582
00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:48,297
I'd like you to stay at my house.

583
00:25:52,635 --> 00:25:54,387
Do you have a pool?

584
00:25:54,554 --> 00:25:59,767
Nu'

585
00:26:07,733 --> 00:26:12,029
[people chattering, shouting]

586
00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:19,245
Having fun there, huh?
Oh, yes. I always have fun.

587
00:26:19,412 --> 00:26:21,247
How about you?

588
00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:23,291
You're after something,
aren't you, buddy?

589
00:26:23,457 --> 00:26:25,501
- Definitely.
- Yeah.

590
00:26:25,668 --> 00:26:29,171
Think I'll find it?
[Laughs]

591
00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:40,600
Hey, this thing works really good.

592
00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:42,602
Look at that.
[Laughs]

593
00:26:42,768 --> 00:26:44,061
Thank you.

594
00:26:44,228 --> 00:26:45,938
Mmm. Okay.

595
00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:48,024
Very nice.
Want some sheets for the bed?

596
00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:49,817
Oh, no thank you.

597
00:26:49,984 --> 00:26:52,653
That won't be necessary.
I don't sleep on mattresses.

598
00:26:52,820 --> 00:26:54,905
You know, mattresses are inhabited
by flesh-eating mites

599
00:26:55,072 --> 00:26:59,118
that live off the dead skin that flakes
off your body while you're sleeping.

600
00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:01,120
I don't want to go through that.
I like the floor.

601
00:27:01,287 --> 00:27:04,790
It's nice and comfortable and firm.
You might want to try it sometime.

602
00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:06,959
[Chuckles]
No. No, thank you.

603
00:27:07,126 --> 00:27:10,671
I'll--I'll stick with the old
skin-eating mite pad.

604
00:27:10,838 --> 00:27:13,341
You want to be a buffet,
you go right ahead.

605
00:27:13,507 --> 00:27:15,843
I'm sure the mites will enjoy.

606
00:27:16,010 --> 00:27:18,804
They're having nervous
Ricky flakes tonight.

607
00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:20,765
[Laughs]

608
00:27:20,931 --> 00:27:24,060
ABBONDANZA, mites!
[Chuckles]

609
00:27:46,499 --> 00:27:48,501
A very pleasant good morning
to you, Ricky.

610
00:27:48,668 --> 00:27:50,419
Good morning.
Look.

611
00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:53,047
I don't want to hear of any
beauty of life, okay?

612
00:27:53,214 --> 00:27:54,507
It's too early.

613
00:27:54,674 --> 00:27:56,342
How can you be grumpy in
a beautiful setting like this?

614
00:27:56,509 --> 00:27:58,010
Look at this beautiful place.

615
00:27:58,177 --> 00:28:00,096
I'll tell you how, Mr. g.

616
00:28:00,262 --> 00:28:03,432
'Cause it's all, uh
it's all hanging by a thread.

617
00:28:03,599 --> 00:28:06,602
The whole HAYMAN empire.

618
00:28:06,769 --> 00:28:10,022
And I'm that close to joining you
on the street.

619
00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:13,109
I'm sorry.
I travel alone.

620
00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:17,029
Great. Even you won't hire me.

621
00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:19,699
[Groans]
Q.J.?

622
00:28:19,865 --> 00:28:22,743
Oh, I threw the orange juice out.
It was smelly.

623
00:28:22,910 --> 00:28:26,622
It had a little smell to it.
Why don't you try this?

624
00:28:26,789 --> 00:28:29,500
I made it fresh.
It's delicious.

625
00:28:31,377 --> 00:28:36,674
Mmm. Very pleasant,
very refreshing. Try it.

626
00:28:40,010 --> 00:28:42,263
Now, don't drink it too fast.
Drink it very slowly.

627
00:28:42,430 --> 00:28:47,017
Take it in.
I'll drink. All right.

628
00:28:47,935 --> 00:28:49,311
MMMM!

629
00:28:49,478 --> 00:28:51,063
Yes. You like that?

630
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:52,732
It's not bad.
It's good.

631
00:28:52,898 --> 00:28:54,066
No, it's delicious.
What is that?

632
00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:55,776
- What do you taste in that?
- What is it, peach?

633
00:28:55,943 --> 00:28:57,653
- Yes, peaches.
- It's good.

634
00:28:57,820 --> 00:29:01,073
- Yes, and what else?
- I don't know.

635
00:29:01,782 --> 00:29:04,368
- I don't know.
- My urine is in it.

636
00:29:04,535 --> 00:29:09,457
Psych your mind.
No, no, no, psych your mind.

637
00:29:09,623 --> 00:29:10,916
[Water running]

638
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:12,585
It's not my urine. I kid you.
It's a joke.

639
00:29:12,752 --> 00:29:14,837
It's herbal tea.

640
00:29:15,004 --> 00:29:16,255
I know you like jokes.

641
00:29:16,422 --> 00:29:19,884
I wanted to start the day off
with a funny joke.

642
00:29:20,050 --> 00:29:23,679
Trust me, my urine doesn't have
that tasty zing to it. I know.

643
00:29:23,846 --> 00:29:26,682
Let's go out here and look at
the sunlight and stand in the sun.

644
00:29:26,849 --> 00:29:29,018
I don't want to stay
in this apartment all day.

645
00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:32,980
You can see all the way down to
the beach from here, you know.

646
00:29:33,939 --> 00:29:37,109
Let's see what you got here.
Here you go.

647
00:29:38,194 --> 00:29:39,779
Well.

648
00:29:39,945 --> 00:29:42,323
You were cum LAUDE.
That's great.

649
00:29:42,490 --> 00:29:45,493
[Phone ringing]

650
00:29:48,412 --> 00:29:50,915
- Barry. Barry.
- Yeah?

651
00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:55,586
Uh--don't tell me,
somebody else for my job?

652
00:29:55,753 --> 00:29:57,296
No, no, no!

653
00:29:57,463 --> 00:29:58,923
Larry king doesn't interview
this many people.

654
00:29:59,089 --> 00:30:00,257
Really?

655
00:30:00,424 --> 00:30:01,801
Did you take him the fax I sent you,
the new image suggestions?

656
00:30:01,967 --> 00:30:03,052
Yeah. It's done.

657
00:30:03,219 --> 00:30:06,472
- What you think?
- I thought they were great ideas.

658
00:30:06,639 --> 00:30:08,641
[Phone ringing]
Just great?

659
00:30:08,808 --> 00:30:11,977
Uh, uh, amazing?
Uh, inspired?

660
00:30:12,144 --> 00:30:14,480
- Erotic?
- Don't.

661
00:30:14,647 --> 00:30:16,607
He's gotta like 'em.
I was up all night.

662
00:30:16,774 --> 00:30:18,108
I was up all night.

663
00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:19,401
What else?
Anything else?

664
00:30:19,568 --> 00:30:20,903
Also, the bank called.

665
00:30:21,070 --> 00:30:23,155
Uh, car guy or mortgage guy?
Please don't say mortgage guy.

666
00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:24,615
Mortgage guy.

667
00:30:24,782 --> 00:30:26,367
- Hi. Hi, Barry.
- Hey.

668
00:30:26,534 --> 00:30:28,410
Miss NEWELL. Look who it is.
Good morning.

669
00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:30,204
- How's g?
- Oh, he's in the car.

670
00:30:30,371 --> 00:30:33,332
I left him there.
I cracked the window.

671
00:30:33,499 --> 00:30:36,836
No, he's at home. He's fine.
Don't you want to know how I am?

672
00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:41,131
Judging from McB'S reaction to your
new fax, you're in rare form.

673
00:30:41,298 --> 00:30:43,342
Really? What do you mean?
He liked it?

674
00:30:43,509 --> 00:30:44,802
No.

675
00:30:44,969 --> 00:30:47,346
He liked it? Of course he liked it.
You know why? You know why?

676
00:30:47,513 --> 00:30:50,182
'Cause I'm a born game-on-the-line,
final seconds, go-to guy.

677
00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:52,351
Pressure is my mistress.
What'd he say? What'd he say?

678
00:30:52,518 --> 00:30:54,562
- He said they were hilarious.
- Hilarious?

679
00:30:54,728 --> 00:30:57,982
He was weeping in there this morning,
and it takes a lot to make him laugh.

680
00:30:58,148 --> 00:31:01,652
Yeah, I know, I know.
He seemed a little down.

681
00:31:01,819 --> 00:31:04,029
He says he can't wait to see
your real ones.

682
00:31:04,196 --> 00:31:05,531
Right.

683
00:31:05,698 --> 00:31:07,366
You know, it was really smart of you
to get him in a good mood.

684
00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:09,410
May make it easier for him to take
last night's numbers.

685
00:31:09,577 --> 00:31:11,203
Down 2%.

686
00:31:11,370 --> 00:31:16,125
Grass mats were a catastrophe.
We sold one.

687
00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:19,753
You I will see later.
Okay.

688
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,298
See you later.

689
00:31:26,051 --> 00:31:30,514
Nu'

690
00:31:30,681 --> 00:31:33,893
okay, please, please let
this party work for me.

691
00:31:34,059 --> 00:31:36,979
You know, I don't know
what's the matter.

692
00:31:37,146 --> 00:31:39,398
I seem to be doing everything wrong.

693
00:31:39,565 --> 00:31:41,609
Okay.
Good, better, best.

694
00:31:41,775 --> 00:31:43,319
[Snapping fingers]

695
00:31:43,485 --> 00:31:47,656
Never let it rest until your good is
better and your better is best.

696
00:31:47,823 --> 00:31:51,410
[People chattering]

697
00:31:54,788 --> 00:31:57,041
Oh, hope I'm not interrupting.

698
00:31:57,207 --> 00:31:59,501
Say, could we have a little
chat for a second?

699
00:31:59,668 --> 00:32:01,795
Oh, yes.

700
00:32:01,962 --> 00:32:04,506
You may have noticed some increased
activity in the apartment.

701
00:32:04,673 --> 00:32:07,217
Yes, I did notice all the flowers.
I think it's beautiful.

702
00:32:07,384 --> 00:32:09,428
Right. That's because I'm having
a little get-together here.

703
00:32:09,595 --> 00:32:12,723
- Wonderful.
- Oh. I know. It's a business function.

704
00:32:12,890 --> 00:32:17,519
Now, uh, I'm not gonna
lock you in here,

705
00:32:17,686 --> 00:32:20,522
'cause, well, frankly,
I think it's illegal.

706
00:32:20,689 --> 00:32:24,109
But, um, as a favor to me,

707
00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:27,780
uh, the guy who paid your medical
expenses and has given you shelter,

708
00:32:27,947 --> 00:32:32,660
would you please stay in the room?

709
00:32:32,826 --> 00:32:34,620
I'll be right here, Ricky.

710
00:32:34,787 --> 00:32:36,956
Great. Thank you.

711
00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:39,249
That's quite an outfit
you have on there, Ricky.

712
00:32:39,416 --> 00:32:40,584
What?

713
00:32:40,751 --> 00:32:43,462
Quite an outfit you have on there.

714
00:32:43,629 --> 00:32:47,091
Thank you.
Good night.

715
00:32:50,636 --> 00:32:52,179
Think it's too much?

716
00:32:52,346 --> 00:32:58,352
Personally, I would, um,
I would lose the pocket thing.

717
00:32:58,519 --> 00:33:00,479
Oh, the hanky?

718
00:33:00,646 --> 00:33:03,482
- The hanky? Yes.
- I like the hanky.

719
00:33:03,649 --> 00:33:05,943
It's just a traditional, uh--

720
00:33:06,110 --> 00:33:07,820
[chuckling]
I don't like it.

721
00:33:07,987 --> 00:33:11,031
[Chuckles]
Okay.

722
00:33:11,198 --> 00:33:14,410
Uh, so before we start,
do you want anything?

723
00:33:14,576 --> 00:33:16,912
You know, there's frozen stuff--
pizza or whatever.

724
00:33:17,079 --> 00:33:20,249
And you've got a jar of that delicious
"URINADE" in the fridge.

725
00:33:20,416 --> 00:33:23,669
Oh. I'm fine.
I have everything that I need.

726
00:33:23,836 --> 00:33:25,838
Thank you.
Thank you.

727
00:33:26,005 --> 00:33:28,632
- Have fun.
- Thank you. You too.

728
00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:32,928
[Jazz music playing]
[People chattering, laughing]

729
00:33:33,095 --> 00:33:37,224
[Woman]
That's what he said.

730
00:33:37,391 --> 00:33:39,727
You know, our numbers are competitive
with all the other channels,

731
00:33:39,893 --> 00:33:42,062
but our demographics are just
the best in the business.

732
00:33:42,229 --> 00:33:44,481
I saw ads on laundry balls.

733
00:33:44,648 --> 00:33:46,942
I should put my program next to
a laundry ball ad

734
00:33:47,109 --> 00:33:49,737
when I'm entirely working on beauty?

735
00:33:49,903 --> 00:33:53,198
How can I be close to that kind of--
it's too vulgar.

736
00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:54,575
Absolutely.

737
00:33:54,742 --> 00:33:56,035
Can I introduce you to
a beautiful person?

738
00:33:56,201 --> 00:33:59,496
I'll be right back.
Excuse me one second.

739
00:34:00,164 --> 00:34:01,999
- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.

740
00:34:02,166 --> 00:34:04,877
You look just gorgeous.
As good as a foot model?

741
00:34:05,044 --> 00:34:07,254
[Laughs]
Better. Better.

742
00:34:07,421 --> 00:34:09,256
Ricky, this is Scott HAWKES.

743
00:34:09,423 --> 00:34:11,884
Trust me, this woman has the most
elegant toes I've ever seen.

744
00:34:12,051 --> 00:34:14,094
That's fine, Scott.

745
00:34:14,261 --> 00:34:18,098
Can I take you right over to see--
Nino! Che COSA?

746
00:34:18,265 --> 00:34:20,434
Oh, Scott HAWKES.
How nice.

747
00:34:20,601 --> 00:34:23,145
Yes, he's a jerk;
No, we're not together;

748
00:34:23,312 --> 00:34:26,774
and trust me, he's the best
at what he does.

749
00:34:27,316 --> 00:34:31,153
- When did he see your toes?
- Why don't you introduce me?

750
00:34:32,738 --> 00:34:36,658
Uh, signore Nino CERRUTI,
Kate NEWELL.

751
00:34:36,825 --> 00:34:38,827
- So nice to meet you.
- Enchanted.

752
00:34:38,994 --> 00:34:40,913
- How was your flight?
- Fine. Great.

753
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:42,956
Great. Are you having
a good time here?

754
00:34:43,123 --> 00:34:44,708
Yes, very nice, thank you.

755
00:34:44,875 --> 00:34:46,668
Wonderful, well, hopefully we'll be
able to show you around.

756
00:34:46,835 --> 00:34:48,921
Gee, I see a slight catering issue.

757
00:34:49,088 --> 00:34:51,048
I'll be back in a flash.

758
00:34:51,215 --> 00:34:54,051
Nino, Kate, whatever your name is,
excuse me one second.

759
00:34:54,218 --> 00:34:55,928
Kate, take over, please.

760
00:34:56,095 --> 00:34:59,223
Oh, excuse me. Hello.

761
00:34:59,389 --> 00:35:01,934
Oh, g, g, what are you doing?
Back, back.

762
00:35:02,101 --> 00:35:05,521
- Oh, I had to go stinky.
- Oh, go stinky?

763
00:35:05,687 --> 00:35:07,981
Aren't you like a guru,
like an Indian fakir?

764
00:35:08,148 --> 00:35:10,776
You control your bodily functions.
Try that. Try that.

765
00:35:10,943 --> 00:35:13,529
Ricky, everything is so lovely,
but it's so somber here.

766
00:35:13,695 --> 00:35:15,322
Why don't you let the people enjoy
some of your things?

767
00:35:15,489 --> 00:35:16,824
We talked about this.

768
00:35:16,990 --> 00:35:18,408
Wait a minute, g.

769
00:35:18,575 --> 00:35:20,452
I'm sure a little music
will liven this place up.

770
00:35:20,619 --> 00:35:22,037
Hello. How are you?

771
00:35:22,204 --> 00:35:24,748
I'm sure the music will lighten
this whole place up.

772
00:35:24,915 --> 00:35:27,876
What did you push?
G, please.

773
00:35:28,043 --> 00:35:29,461
And the night in Barbados--

774
00:35:29,628 --> 00:35:30,963
don't do that.

775
00:35:31,130 --> 00:35:32,589
[Rock instrumental music]

776
00:35:32,756 --> 00:35:34,383
- Okay. Okay. Sorry.
- Oh, Ricky.

777
00:35:34,550 --> 00:35:36,593
Liven the room up.
Kate! Hello.

778
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:38,887
- Hi, g. I'm terrific.
- How are you, Kate?

779
00:35:39,054 --> 00:35:41,223
It's so wonderful to see you too.
Look at this woman.

780
00:35:41,390 --> 00:35:43,934
Every time I see you, I feel like I've
chosen the wrong path.

781
00:35:44,101 --> 00:35:45,602
Aw! Thank you.

782
00:35:45,769 --> 00:35:47,646
She's spectacular.
Okay, let's go talk.

783
00:35:47,813 --> 00:35:49,356
- Who's your friend, rich?
- I'm g. How are you?

784
00:35:49,523 --> 00:35:51,066
G, Scott HAWKES,
HAWKEWIND productions.

785
00:35:51,233 --> 00:35:52,734
Hello.

786
00:35:52,901 --> 00:35:54,486
This is, uh, g, my yoga instructor.

787
00:35:54,653 --> 00:35:58,073
You know, sometimes I find that a good
KUNDALINI thing, Nino,

788
00:35:58,240 --> 00:35:59,658
opens up my whole--

789
00:35:59,825 --> 00:36:01,493
[whistles] You know, <i>i</i> find.

790
00:36:01,660 --> 00:36:02,995
I meditate too.

791
00:36:03,162 --> 00:36:04,454
Do you really?
That's good.

792
00:36:04,621 --> 00:36:06,165
I am trying to overcome
a fear of flying,

793
00:36:06,331 --> 00:36:08,041
but for the moment
with little results.

794
00:36:08,208 --> 00:36:11,503
Well, no--did you ever try halcyon
and a double Cuba LIBRE?

795
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:14,756
I'm serious, just boom,
knocks you right out.

796
00:36:14,923 --> 00:36:16,884
You know, I could cure
that fear of flying of yours

797
00:36:17,050 --> 00:36:19,136
without alcohol or drugs.

798
00:36:19,303 --> 00:36:20,804
Oh, but you don't have time, do you?

799
00:36:20,971 --> 00:36:22,639
Aren't you due back at the ashram-ISHA?

800
00:36:22,806 --> 00:36:24,850
What's the name of the--
the CHAKRA convention.

801
00:36:25,017 --> 00:36:26,768
Could you do something, really?
I'm interested.

802
00:36:26,935 --> 00:36:28,770
Oh! No, no!

803
00:36:28,937 --> 00:36:30,731
Well, you know, there are
two things that you can do.

804
00:36:30,898 --> 00:36:34,651
The first thing is: The next time
you're in an airplane

805
00:36:34,818 --> 00:36:36,737
and you start to feel fearful,
you reach down

806
00:36:36,904 --> 00:36:38,405
and you grab your testicles--

807
00:36:38,572 --> 00:36:40,073
[guests laughing] Testicles?
Interesting.

808
00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:43,493
And then you pop them together,
and the fear leaves.

809
00:36:43,660 --> 00:36:45,037
We're gonna go now.

810
00:36:45,204 --> 00:36:47,456
There must be another method,
and probably less painful.

811
00:36:47,623 --> 00:36:50,876
[Laughs] Yes, well, the other method
is, I can hypnotize you right now,

812
00:36:51,043 --> 00:36:53,212
and you'll never, ever have
a fear of flying again.

813
00:36:53,378 --> 00:36:55,464
Yeah. Maybe later.
Can we do that later?

814
00:36:55,631 --> 00:36:57,799
Nino, have you tried
the squid POMODORO?

815
00:36:57,966 --> 00:36:59,885
[Simultaneous chatter]
Mmm! I think you'll like it.

816
00:37:00,052 --> 00:37:02,054
For you--aren't you hungry?

817
00:37:02,221 --> 00:37:06,016
No, no. Really, I'm interested.
I'm curious.

818
00:37:06,183 --> 00:37:09,645
The man's curious.
Have a seat, Nino.

819
00:37:09,811 --> 00:37:12,064
Curiosity is a wonderful thing, curiosity.

820
00:37:12,231 --> 00:37:13,649
It killed somebody.

821
00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:17,152
Put your hands palm down on your knees
and just relax. Sit straight up.

822
00:37:17,319 --> 00:37:20,113
And I need a lighter.
I got a ZIPPO.

823
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,450
You do, Scott HAWKES?
Okay. Perfect.

824
00:37:23,617 --> 00:37:26,328
Everybody gather around.
Hi, everybody! My name is g.

825
00:37:26,495 --> 00:37:28,538
[Guests together]
Hi, g.

826
00:37:28,705 --> 00:37:30,207
Hi. I'm going to be hypnotizing Nino.

827
00:37:30,374 --> 00:37:32,376
He's having a problem here
with fear of flying.

828
00:37:32,542 --> 00:37:34,294
We're going to try to get him
over that fear.

829
00:37:34,461 --> 00:37:37,256
I'm gonna hypnotize Nino and try
to help him out here;

830
00:37:37,422 --> 00:37:39,633
kind of like a party trick.

831
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:43,470
I want you to just relax and just
watch this flame, yes?

832
00:37:43,637 --> 00:37:46,682
Just watch the flame.

833
00:37:46,848 --> 00:37:49,851
Just relax, Nino.

834
00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:52,938
Your eyes are getting very heavy now.

835
00:37:53,105 --> 00:37:56,942
You're getting tired and lost
in the flame.

836
00:37:57,109 --> 00:37:59,027
You're going to sleep.

837
00:37:59,194 --> 00:38:02,489
You're completely asleep right now,
Nino.

838
00:38:02,656 --> 00:38:04,783
Nino is asleep.

839
00:38:04,950 --> 00:38:09,746
Shh!
Shh!

840
00:38:11,456 --> 00:38:13,542
He's asleep now.

841
00:38:13,709 --> 00:38:17,963
Nino, your left hand feels
very, very light.

842
00:38:18,130 --> 00:38:22,009
It's going to start to raise up
very slowly.

843
00:38:22,175 --> 00:38:24,344
It's starting to float up.

844
00:38:24,511 --> 00:38:28,390
On its own it's floating up.

845
00:38:28,557 --> 00:38:32,728
You can let it hang there,
right there, Nino.

846
00:38:33,562 --> 00:38:36,273
You see?
This is a party, you know.

847
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,483
Maybe I should get him to bark
like a dog or something.

848
00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:40,152
Oh, g, no.

849
00:38:40,319 --> 00:38:43,363
Get over there or I'll kill ya.

850
00:38:44,156 --> 00:38:47,242
Okay.
Nino, put your arm back down now.

851
00:38:47,409 --> 00:38:50,412
Put it back, back down.

852
00:38:50,579 --> 00:38:53,165
The plane's taking off.

853
00:38:53,332 --> 00:38:57,085
You're a little nervous, like you
always are when a plane takes off.

854
00:38:57,252 --> 00:39:00,672
This time when it takes off,
it's smoother than it's ever taken off.

855
00:39:00,839 --> 00:39:04,009
You didn't even feel the plane
leave the ground that time.

856
00:39:04,176 --> 00:39:08,138
You're up in the sky,
and it's smooth sailing, Nino.

857
00:39:08,305 --> 00:39:11,850
Wow! This feels great.

858
00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:17,230
What's that up ahead?
Looks like a storm cloud.

859
00:39:17,397 --> 00:39:18,815
It is a storm cloud.

860
00:39:18,982 --> 00:39:23,487
I can see the pilot's trying to avoid it.
He can't. It's too late.

861
00:39:23,653 --> 00:39:25,781
Nino, we're in.

862
00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:28,367
We're right in the middle
of the storm cloud.

863
00:39:28,533 --> 00:39:31,495
You start to feel turbulence.
The plane is shaking.

864
00:39:31,661 --> 00:39:35,832
You start to feel it dip and sway.
Oh, so much turbulence.

865
00:39:35,999 --> 00:39:38,752
How can this tiny metal object
stay up in this sky

866
00:39:38,919 --> 00:39:41,171
of vast destruction, Nino?

867
00:39:41,338 --> 00:39:42,881
You're getting scared.

868
00:39:43,048 --> 00:39:45,926
The stewardess just passed out
at your knees, Nino.

869
00:39:46,093 --> 00:39:48,512
You felt the plane drop
a thousand feet in elevation.

870
00:39:48,678 --> 00:39:51,056
You felt your stomach shoot up
right into your neck.

871
00:39:51,223 --> 00:39:53,350
[Breathing quickens]

872
00:39:53,517 --> 00:39:56,228
The captain's voice comes
over the intercom.

873
00:39:56,395 --> 00:40:00,774
"Attention. This is your captain speaking.
This is your captain speaking.

874
00:40:00,941 --> 00:40:04,903
"God help us!
We're gonna crash!

875
00:40:05,070 --> 00:40:07,322
Oh, my God!"

876
00:40:07,489 --> 00:40:11,326
[Rapid breathing]

877
00:40:14,955 --> 00:40:17,749
You're right there, Nino.

878
00:40:17,916 --> 00:40:24,881
The last moments of your life.
Right now, you're right there.

879
00:40:25,465 --> 00:40:28,677
But you're not thinking about dying.

880
00:40:28,844 --> 00:40:30,720
You're thinking about your loved ones.

881
00:40:30,887 --> 00:40:32,514
[Breathing slows]

882
00:40:32,681 --> 00:40:35,600
You're thinking about your family
and your friends

883
00:40:35,767 --> 00:40:40,480
and all the special moments that you
shared with those people.

884
00:40:40,647 --> 00:40:44,359
You're feeling blessed with the gift
of life that you received.

885
00:40:44,526 --> 00:40:46,111
That's what you're thinking about.

886
00:40:46,278 --> 00:40:48,947
You're not afraid right now
at all of anything.

887
00:40:49,114 --> 00:40:54,578
You're at one with God.
You've let go.

888
00:40:55,745 --> 00:41:00,625
Now, when I tell you to,
open your eyes.

889
00:41:00,792 --> 00:41:03,128
When you open your eyes, you'll be
completely feeling refreshed,

890
00:41:03,295 --> 00:41:06,715
and you won't even remember anything
that's happened.

891
00:41:06,882 --> 00:41:11,178
You'll never be afraid of flying
in a plane again.

892
00:41:11,344 --> 00:41:15,932
Now open your eyes, Nino.

893
00:41:16,099 --> 00:41:18,643
- How do you feel?
- Wonderful.

894
00:41:18,810 --> 00:41:22,564
[Guests laughing, murmuring, cheering]
All right!

895
00:41:23,190 --> 00:41:25,358
A hypnotizing swami.

896
00:41:25,525 --> 00:41:27,652
You got any other party tricks?

897
00:41:27,819 --> 00:41:29,112
Actually, yes, I do.

898
00:41:29,279 --> 00:41:30,906
I have a trick called
the disappearing rolex trick

899
00:41:31,072 --> 00:41:32,866
that's quite a party stopper.

900
00:41:33,033 --> 00:41:35,202
Cool.
Do it.

901
00:41:35,368 --> 00:41:37,287
Can I borrow your rolex?
No, no, no, no.

902
00:41:37,454 --> 00:41:39,581
Come on, Scott.
Are you kidding me?

903
00:41:39,748 --> 00:41:42,417
No, no. It's a good trick.
Do you have any lD--

904
00:41:42,584 --> 00:41:44,002
Scott, Scott, Scott, Scott!

905
00:41:44,169 --> 00:41:46,338
[All]
Scott, Scott, Scott, Scott!

906
00:41:46,505 --> 00:41:48,048
All right, all right.
Oh, okay.

907
00:41:48,215 --> 00:41:50,091
I'm gonna need a handkerchief as well.
Does anyone have a handkerchief?

908
00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:53,386
Oh, Nino, thank you.
And we need a hammer.

909
00:41:53,553 --> 00:41:54,971
Wait. Whoa. A hammer?

910
00:41:55,138 --> 00:41:56,765
Don't worry.
Don't worry.

911
00:41:56,932 --> 00:41:58,058
Here. Take my shoe.

912
00:41:58,225 --> 00:41:59,559
Oh, that'll work perfectly.

913
00:41:59,726 --> 00:42:01,228
Now for the Ricky shoe.
What size is that?

914
00:42:01,394 --> 00:42:04,397
- This is a 12.
- That'll get the job done.

915
00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:05,857
Definitely.

916
00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,318
Okay, I want you to see that
I'm taking the watch,

917
00:42:08,485 --> 00:42:11,738
and I'm placing it right in the middle
of the handkerchief.

918
00:42:11,905 --> 00:42:14,533
Everyone, see the watch going
into the handkerchief.

919
00:42:14,699 --> 00:42:16,159
[Watch rattling]

920
00:42:16,326 --> 00:42:18,370
Closing the watch up
in the handkerchief, all right?

921
00:42:18,537 --> 00:42:20,330
That's right. Can you see that?
You wanna touch that?

922
00:42:20,497 --> 00:42:21,540
It's in there, right?

923
00:42:21,706 --> 00:42:23,041
Okay. Here we go.
Yeah.

924
00:42:23,208 --> 00:42:24,876
We place the watch on the table.

925
00:42:25,043 --> 00:42:28,755
We take Robert Ricky's trusted
size 12 and--

926
00:42:28,922 --> 00:42:34,010
[guests gasping, murmuring]

927
00:42:40,475 --> 00:42:43,186
Whew!
Ricky.

928
00:42:46,064 --> 00:42:48,900
[Rattling] That sounds
really broken doesn't it?

929
00:42:49,067 --> 00:42:52,779
Doesn't it?
Yeah?

930
00:42:52,946 --> 00:42:56,616
[Guests agreeing]
[Gasping]

931
00:42:56,783 --> 00:43:00,370
Wonderful!

932
00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:07,627
That was great.

933
00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:09,004
That was good.
Okay, give me back the watch now.

934
00:43:09,170 --> 00:43:10,463
I can't. It's gone.
It's disappeared.

935
00:43:10,630 --> 00:43:12,924
No, but seriously,
that's a $10,000 watch.

936
00:43:13,091 --> 00:43:15,093
I am serious.
It's the disappearing rolex trick.

937
00:43:15,260 --> 00:43:17,596
It's not the reappearing rolex trick.

938
00:43:17,762 --> 00:43:19,222
Good night, everybody!

939
00:43:19,389 --> 00:43:21,891
Yo, Gandhi, give me back
the goddamn w--

940
00:43:26,271 --> 00:43:27,606
[guests gasping]

941
00:43:27,772 --> 00:43:31,401
Be careful what you wish for.

942
00:43:33,486 --> 00:43:36,656
That's not funny.
That wasn't funny.

943
00:43:37,949 --> 00:43:40,201
[Ricky] Champagne for anyone?
Anyone for champagne?

944
00:43:41,953 --> 00:43:45,790
[Man singing reggae on boom box]
J' yeah j'

945
00:43:49,502 --> 00:43:52,130
j' yeah, ah LA LA-LA LA j' j'

946
00:43:52,297 --> 00:43:54,466
mmm.
Ah, you're sure?

947
00:43:54,633 --> 00:43:56,468
Absolutely.

948
00:43:56,635 --> 00:43:59,179
He asked us to watch
his pjs for him.

949
00:43:59,346 --> 00:44:01,389
Oh yeah?

950
00:44:01,556 --> 00:44:03,475
I--you know, I'm sorry.

951
00:44:03,642 --> 00:44:05,852
I don't, uh--
I don't see him.

952
00:44:06,019 --> 00:44:08,813
Ahh! Ricky!

953
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:11,024
Come in the water with me!

954
00:44:11,191 --> 00:44:15,153
Oh, I'd love to really, but somebody
has to pay the rent.

955
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:18,406
Come on, Ricky, one swim, then go sell
things on television.

956
00:44:18,573 --> 00:44:21,284
Yeah, well, that's kind of what I
wanted to talk to you about.

957
00:44:21,451 --> 00:44:23,787
Can I just have a word
for a second, g?

958
00:44:23,953 --> 00:44:25,497
What's the matter?
Is there a problem?

959
00:44:25,664 --> 00:44:27,457
No, no problem.

960
00:44:27,624 --> 00:44:30,001
I just wanted to put a little bee
in your bonnet for a second.

961
00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:32,921
Oh, ho, no, no, no!
Okay, I see.

962
00:44:33,088 --> 00:44:36,174
Hello. No, no, no.
Free Willy. I see. Oh.

963
00:44:36,341 --> 00:44:38,760
No, no, no. Just--just--
very funny.

964
00:44:38,927 --> 00:44:42,514
Listen. The Nino CERRUTI, you know,
from the party,

965
00:44:42,681 --> 00:44:45,475
his lawyer called this morning
and said that they're interested

966
00:44:45,642 --> 00:44:48,687
in a deal with us and that he had
a great flight back to Milan,

967
00:44:48,853 --> 00:44:50,814
and in fact, he's buying a jet.

968
00:44:50,980 --> 00:44:53,066
Oh, that's wonderful.
Did it make him happy?

969
00:44:53,233 --> 00:44:54,526
Yes.

970
00:44:54,693 --> 00:44:57,195
You have such a--a special quality.

971
00:44:57,362 --> 00:45:00,240
I now realize that
between you and me,

972
00:45:00,407 --> 00:45:04,244
we could make a difference with
the world in a very unique way.

973
00:45:04,411 --> 00:45:07,330
So, here's my idea.
Listen, g. G?

974
00:45:07,497 --> 00:45:09,457
G, here's the thing.

975
00:45:09,624 --> 00:45:12,335
What if you went on my network

976
00:45:12,502 --> 00:45:16,464
and talked to people
and made 'em feel good?

977
00:45:16,631 --> 00:45:18,717
You want me to sell things
for you on television?

978
00:45:18,883 --> 00:45:23,388
Yeah, well, uh--you'd be
telling people on the air

979
00:45:23,555 --> 00:45:25,890
about how material things
can refresh the spirit.

980
00:45:26,057 --> 00:45:27,559
Isn't that your idea?

981
00:45:27,726 --> 00:45:29,519
Unless they're used to replace
more important things,

982
00:45:29,686 --> 00:45:31,563
which they usually are.

983
00:45:31,730 --> 00:45:34,774
Wow, wow.
I just got chills.

984
00:45:34,941 --> 00:45:36,735
I just got chills, amen.

985
00:45:36,901 --> 00:45:38,945
You have an important message
for the world.

986
00:45:39,112 --> 00:45:41,364
And listen, what better way to get it
across than on TV?

987
00:45:41,531 --> 00:45:43,742
You could help thousands,
millions of people

988
00:45:43,908 --> 00:45:45,827
feel better about themselves, g.

989
00:45:45,994 --> 00:45:50,039
- Wow!
- What do you think?

990
00:45:50,707 --> 00:45:52,792
How about you?
Will it make you feel better?

991
00:45:52,959 --> 00:45:55,336
Me? I don't know.

992
00:45:55,503 --> 00:45:57,422
That's not the point.
Me, I feel great.

993
00:45:57,589 --> 00:45:58,840
Oh, no.

994
00:45:59,007 --> 00:46:02,177
No, yes, that's exactly the point.
Will it make you feel better?

995
00:46:02,343 --> 00:46:07,766
I'm gonna lose my job if I don't do
something soon, so yeah.

996
00:46:07,932 --> 00:46:11,102
Yeah, it could really help me.
That's the truth, like that.

997
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:13,938
What do you think?

998
00:46:14,606 --> 00:46:17,776
Okay, I'll do it, but only
one condition.

999
00:46:17,942 --> 00:46:20,361
Really?
What?

1000
00:46:20,528 --> 00:46:22,781
- One condition.
- Okay.

1001
00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:26,326
- It's non-negotiable.
- What?

1002
00:46:26,951 --> 00:46:29,871
Ahh!
Oh!

1003
00:46:30,038 --> 00:46:31,998
Ahh! Ahh!

1004
00:46:32,165 --> 00:46:34,000
Ahh!

1005
00:46:34,167 --> 00:46:35,794
Shark, shark, shark, shark, shark!

1006
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,379
It's a joke. It's a joke.
There are no sharks.

1007
00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:41,674
[G laughing]

1008
00:46:43,718 --> 00:46:45,512
[Ricky]
Yes. This is good.

1009
00:46:45,678 --> 00:46:48,056
[Laughing]

1010
00:46:48,223 --> 00:46:50,683
Bars out.

1011
00:46:50,850 --> 00:46:52,811
[People chattering]

1012
00:46:53,228 --> 00:47:01,653
Nu'

1013
00:47:01,820 --> 00:47:04,489
and bring him on camera--

1014
00:47:04,656 --> 00:47:08,409
I've made you up to look like you
have on no makeup at all.

1015
00:47:08,576 --> 00:47:10,787
That's a metaphysics I didn't even
know existed.

1016
00:47:10,954 --> 00:47:13,832
Twenty seconds to air.
Stand by. Clear the set.

1017
00:47:13,998 --> 00:47:16,543
Lock it up on the stage.
Nice and quiet all around, please.

1018
00:47:16,709 --> 00:47:18,127
Here we go.
Thank you.

1019
00:47:18,294 --> 00:47:21,589
Go to the booth and make sure the
price lists are typed in continuously.

1020
00:47:21,756 --> 00:47:25,009
Got it. Hey! Ah, oh, oh!

1021
00:47:25,176 --> 00:47:27,512
G, one more thing.

1022
00:47:27,679 --> 00:47:29,681
Think of the camera
as your best friend,

1023
00:47:29,848 --> 00:47:33,351
your best friend that really
needs mixing bowls.

1024
00:47:35,019 --> 00:47:36,646
Here we go. Stand by, please.

1025
00:47:36,813 --> 00:47:39,607
In five, four, three--

1026
00:47:39,774 --> 00:47:42,277
fade up camera one
and cue the consonant.

1027
00:47:42,443 --> 00:47:45,530
[Snaps fingers]

1028
00:47:51,494 --> 00:47:54,414
[Whispering] Talk.
You're on. You're on.

1029
00:47:54,581 --> 00:47:58,001
You're on. We're rolling.
Live TV. Go.

1030
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:02,881
What's the plan?

1031
00:48:03,047 --> 00:48:06,718
G, go, go. Talk now.

1032
00:48:06,885 --> 00:48:09,888
[Whispering] The little red
light on the top is on.

1033
00:48:10,054 --> 00:48:11,723
[Sighs]

1034
00:48:11,890 --> 00:48:13,808
No, no, no, it's not traffic.

1035
00:48:13,975 --> 00:48:16,436
No, it's TV.
Talk. Talk!

1036
00:48:16,603 --> 00:48:20,565
Talk. Now. Now.

1037
00:48:20,732 --> 00:48:24,861
Talkie, talkie, talk, talk. Go.

1038
00:48:27,655 --> 00:48:29,532
I..-

1039
00:48:29,699 --> 00:48:31,868
oh good, he bought a vowel.

1040
00:48:32,035 --> 00:48:34,662
Ill"?

1041
00:48:34,829 --> 00:48:39,334


1042
00:48:39,834 --> 00:48:46,382
I wept when I saw a man
who had no shoes,

1043
00:48:48,343 --> 00:48:51,095
- until I met a man who had no penis.
- What?

1044
00:48:51,262 --> 00:48:53,806
- Can he say that?
- He just did.

1045
00:48:58,603 --> 00:49:03,232
Now my one special friend is listening.
I think I have your attention now.

1046
00:49:03,983 --> 00:49:05,276
[Man]
What do we do, Ricky?

1047
00:49:05,443 --> 00:49:06,819
Stay with him.
Stay with him.

1048
00:49:06,986 --> 00:49:10,114
Ricky, he just said "penis."
Why did he say "penis"?

1049
00:49:10,281 --> 00:49:11,366
- I don't know.
- There's gotta be a reason.

1050
00:49:11,532 --> 00:49:13,201
Howard stern says "penis" all the time.
What's wrong with that?

1051
00:49:13,368 --> 00:49:14,535
And he's huge.

1052
00:49:14,702 --> 00:49:17,205
It's shocking, which is good.
It's good.

1053
00:49:17,372 --> 00:49:21,250
I have a question for you: Why?

1054
00:49:21,876 --> 00:49:26,297
- Good question.
- Why are we here?

1055
00:49:26,464 --> 00:49:29,258
Is it to lie in bed alone and call up
a TV station

1056
00:49:29,425 --> 00:49:32,553
so you can buy more things?

1057
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:34,472
So you can collect as many things
as possible

1058
00:49:34,639 --> 00:49:37,308
in the little finger-snap of time
you have on this planet?

1059
00:49:37,475 --> 00:49:39,560
That's why we're here.
That's our credo, I think.

1060
00:49:39,727 --> 00:49:41,479
He's talking.
He's looking at the bowls.

1061
00:49:41,646 --> 00:49:45,316
He weaves a magical web
of charisma and--

1062
00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:47,068
mm-hmm?

1063
00:49:47,235 --> 00:49:50,071
I guess that's a good way to go.

1064
00:49:50,238 --> 00:49:52,365
How about this?

1065
00:49:52,532 --> 00:49:54,033
Whoa.
Where's he going?

1066
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:55,660
He's gone.
Where'd he go?

1067
00:49:55,827 --> 00:49:58,329
He's going on the Morgan set.
She's live!

1068
00:49:58,496 --> 00:50:01,749
Hi, I'm here to tell all of you
wonderful home viewers

1069
00:50:01,916 --> 00:50:04,043
about new INSTA-tuck,

1070
00:50:04,210 --> 00:50:07,547
the nonsurgical, do-it-yourself
facial toner.

1071
00:50:07,714 --> 00:50:12,677
Oh! You hook your face
up to this car battery?

1072
00:50:12,844 --> 00:50:14,887
Well, we don't call it a car battery.

1073
00:50:15,054 --> 00:50:16,597
It's okay. It's okay.
He's on Morgan's set.

1074
00:50:16,764 --> 00:50:18,558
- And why did--
- it's okay. She's a pro.

1075
00:50:18,725 --> 00:50:22,353
The INSTA-tuck power source
fits right on your nightstand.

1076
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:23,688
Oh!

1077
00:50:23,855 --> 00:50:25,690
This looks a lot like a battery.
What do these things do?

1078
00:50:25,857 --> 00:50:27,025
Well, it does, but--

1079
00:50:27,191 --> 00:50:29,569
no, don't do that. Don't do that!
I'm wired.

1080
00:50:29,736 --> 00:50:30,945
[Imitates static]

1081
00:50:31,112 --> 00:50:32,113
- No--

1082
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:33,489
yeah. Not pretty.

1083
00:50:33,656 --> 00:50:34,907
She loves IMPROV.
You know that about her.

1084
00:50:35,074 --> 00:50:36,200
Wasn't she, before the series,

1085
00:50:36,367 --> 00:50:37,452
a member of the GROUNDLINGS,
or lemmings?

1086
00:50:37,618 --> 00:50:40,121
All you have to do is
attach the INSTA-clips

1087
00:50:40,288 --> 00:50:43,708
to the key lift points on your scalp.

1088
00:50:43,875 --> 00:50:45,918
Key lift points on your scalp. Yes.
Uh-huh, right here.

1089
00:50:46,085 --> 00:50:47,545
He's engaging her.
Look at him.

1090
00:50:47,712 --> 00:50:51,549
He's like a child, and not even aware
of the camera; That's what I love.

1091
00:50:51,716 --> 00:50:54,093
And you just let the little electronic
energy pulsars do

1092
00:50:54,260 --> 00:50:56,429
all the work for you while you sleep.

1093
00:50:56,596 --> 00:51:00,141
So you go from grandma
to grand mama

1094
00:51:00,308 --> 00:51:02,310
in one easy push of the button.

1095
00:51:02,477 --> 00:51:04,103
[Electronic hum]

1096
00:51:04,270 --> 00:51:06,522
She's never been so alive.
She's never been so alive.

1097
00:51:06,689 --> 00:51:08,900
Oh! See?

1098
00:51:09,067 --> 00:51:11,319
So the look of surprise is
the youthful look.

1099
00:51:11,486 --> 00:51:12,987
Well, hopefully, yes.

1100
00:51:13,154 --> 00:51:15,740
So the years just melt away
with INSTA-tuck.

1101
00:51:15,907 --> 00:51:17,200
Oh, that's fascinating.

1102
00:51:17,366 --> 00:51:19,911
May I see the remote control
unit there?

1103
00:51:20,078 --> 00:51:22,789
Ooh, don't, don't hand
your life over to him.

1104
00:51:22,955 --> 00:51:25,750
I think this would be fantastic for
a surprise birthday party.

1105
00:51:25,917 --> 00:51:27,126
Surprise parties--

1106
00:51:27,293 --> 00:51:29,295
you could say, "surprise!"

1107
00:51:29,462 --> 00:51:30,880
[Crew laughing]

1108
00:51:31,047 --> 00:51:33,257
[G] It's your birthday!
That's kind of funny, guys.

1109
00:51:33,424 --> 00:51:35,593
You look so youthful and surprised.

1110
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:37,261
You know what else
THIS'D be good for?

1111
00:51:37,428 --> 00:51:40,473
"Madam, I think you've just won
the one million dollar lottery!"

1112
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:43,601
Oh, my God.
He's electrocuting Morgan Fairchild.

1113
00:51:43,768 --> 00:51:45,228
That's not funny.

1114
00:51:45,394 --> 00:51:48,439
Even better still, the martians have
landed and they're taking you

1115
00:51:48,606 --> 00:51:50,274
back to Mars with them.

1116
00:51:50,441 --> 00:51:52,068
No, no, no, st--

1117
00:51:52,235 --> 00:51:53,903
[whimpering] What we have
here, ladies and gentlemen,

1118
00:51:54,070 --> 00:51:56,114
is a beautiful woman who's trying to
convince you that you're not enough.

1119
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:57,615
That you're not beautiful enough--

1120
00:51:57,782 --> 00:51:59,325
oh my God, he's leaving it on.

1121
00:51:59,492 --> 00:52:01,244
Oh, let her go. Let her go, man.
Let her go!

1122
00:52:01,410 --> 00:52:03,955
You don't need INSTA-tuck
to be beautiful.

1123
00:52:04,122 --> 00:52:05,540
You're already beautiful.

1124
00:52:05,706 --> 00:52:09,210
Did he say, "don't buy this product"?
He said, "don't buy--"

1125
00:52:09,377 --> 00:52:10,878
that's an interesting way to sell.

1126
00:52:11,045 --> 00:52:12,463
All you have to do to be beautiful
is just be yourself.

1127
00:52:12,630 --> 00:52:14,048
This woman's already beautiful.

1128
00:52:14,215 --> 00:52:15,675
She doesn't need INSTA-tuck.

1129
00:52:15,842 --> 00:52:17,218
Even--
I'm sorry.

1130
00:52:17,385 --> 00:52:18,845
[Clicks off]

1131
00:52:19,011 --> 00:52:20,555
This beautiful woman here,
you don't need INSTA-tuck.

1132
00:52:20,721 --> 00:52:21,889
Oh, interesting angle.
Uh-huh.

1133
00:52:22,056 --> 00:52:23,182
You know what?
This is personal.

1134
00:52:23,349 --> 00:52:24,433
I know what's happening here.

1135
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:26,477
He knows I'm trying to sell stuff,
and this is a personal attack.

1136
00:52:26,644 --> 00:52:28,396
He's undermining me.
He's sabotaging me.

1137
00:52:28,563 --> 00:52:30,314
I made a deal with him.
I explained it to him.

1138
00:52:30,481 --> 00:52:31,732
I went in the water with him.

1139
00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:33,192
I have a question for you.

1140
00:52:33,359 --> 00:52:35,069
If you could be the Dalai lama
or a beautiful baywatch babe,

1141
00:52:35,236 --> 00:52:36,487
which would you choose?

1142
00:52:36,654 --> 00:52:38,030
Baywatch babe.

1143
00:52:38,197 --> 00:52:39,323
Now, think about it.

1144
00:52:39,490 --> 00:52:41,242
I know the baywatch beauty is so
desirable and she has the perfect body

1145
00:52:41,409 --> 00:52:43,661
and she runs up and down the beach
with a bikini on.

1146
00:52:43,828 --> 00:52:45,830
That's a really hot girl,
the baywatch beauty, right?

1147
00:52:45,997 --> 00:52:48,875
But the Dalai lama has
total inner peace

1148
00:52:49,041 --> 00:52:51,544
and spiritual enlightenment.

1149
00:52:51,711 --> 00:52:55,673
There's no comparison.
Don't you agree?

1150
00:52:55,840 --> 00:53:00,303
She agrees. Here.
Oh!

1151
00:53:01,512 --> 00:53:03,097
[All chattering] Ricky,
what do you want to do?

1152
00:53:03,264 --> 00:53:06,642
I-I-I don't know.
I could go back to school, I guess.

1153
00:53:06,809 --> 00:53:08,311
[Mickey]
The size on this one, folks.

1154
00:53:08,477 --> 00:53:10,688
This is the saw you want, boys.
Bucking, pruning, trimming.

1155
00:53:10,855 --> 00:53:13,524
The HOTEL/RESTAURANT business
always held a real lure for me.

1156
00:53:13,691 --> 00:53:14,984
I'm a people person.
What?

1157
00:53:15,151 --> 00:53:16,444
Hi. Hi.

1158
00:53:16,611 --> 00:53:18,613
Hello. No. So give us a call,
and I'll carve you a great deal.

1159
00:53:18,779 --> 00:53:20,072
[G]
Nice chain saw.

1160
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:21,699
Who are you?

1161
00:53:21,866 --> 00:53:23,159
Oh, I'm new here.
I'm a friend of Ricky HAYMAN's.

1162
00:53:23,326 --> 00:53:24,744
Hi, Ricky.

1163
00:53:24,911 --> 00:53:25,870
Just curious about chain saws.

1164
00:53:26,037 --> 00:53:28,080
Incoming. Mayday. Mayday.
This is a disaster. This is a massacre.

1165
00:53:28,247 --> 00:53:29,624
You've got to be kidding.

1166
00:53:29,790 --> 00:53:31,209
Can I hold it?
It's a dandy.

1167
00:53:31,375 --> 00:53:32,960
Can I have the weight in my hand?

1168
00:53:33,127 --> 00:53:35,922
Feel the weight of
that chain saw. Wow!

1169
00:53:36,088 --> 00:53:37,381
It's a heavy one. Be careful.
Oh, yeah.

1170
00:53:37,548 --> 00:53:39,967
[Ricky] He's staying at my home
and this is his gratitude?

1171
00:53:40,134 --> 00:53:41,552
He gave him the chain saw.

1172
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:42,887
This is gonna be good.
This is not good.

1173
00:53:43,054 --> 00:53:44,180
I have a question.

1174
00:53:44,347 --> 00:53:48,059
If I said to you you could watch me
sculpt the Venus De milo with my hands,

1175
00:53:48,226 --> 00:53:50,728
or chainsaw this entire studio,

1176
00:53:50,895 --> 00:53:52,772
what do you think their
call-in vote would be?

1177
00:53:52,939 --> 00:53:55,066
For creation or destruction?
You guys call in now. Call.

1178
00:53:55,233 --> 00:53:58,236
He's hitting every single set.
He's cutting a--it's a clean sweep!

1179
00:53:58,402 --> 00:54:01,072
He's making a clean swath from one
side of the studio to the "nother"!

1180
00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:03,074
I know just what they want.

1181
00:54:03,241 --> 00:54:04,909
[Saw running]

1182
00:54:05,076 --> 00:54:06,410
Whoa!

1183
00:54:06,577 --> 00:54:07,995
Now would be a good time to talk
about the safety features.

1184
00:54:08,162 --> 00:54:11,540
This is good.
MCBAINBRIDGE'll love this.

1185
00:54:13,626 --> 00:54:17,421
Oh no.
You've gotta be kidding.

1186
00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:22,051
He's chainsawing our happy-time
redwood picnic table.

1187
00:54:25,805 --> 00:54:28,599
More?
Of course you want more.

1188
00:54:34,438 --> 00:54:37,400
And bench.
He got the whole set.

1189
00:54:37,984 --> 00:54:39,610
[Chain saw engine stops]

1190
00:54:40,695 --> 00:54:44,365
Now, I admit that was fun.
But I ask you.

1191
00:54:44,532 --> 00:54:48,244
Why do we yawn at creation
and thrill at destruction?

1192
00:54:48,411 --> 00:54:50,663
- Why?
- Okay. Okay.

1193
00:54:50,830 --> 00:54:51,872
Ask yourself why.

1194
00:54:52,039 --> 00:54:53,332
Here it is.
Here's his agenda.

1195
00:54:53,499 --> 00:54:55,001
Let me tell you, I've been watching
for a long, long time,

1196
00:54:55,167 --> 00:54:56,669
and I don't like what I see.

1197
00:54:56,836 --> 00:54:59,797
I really don't.
Everybody's anxious and scared.

1198
00:54:59,964 --> 00:55:03,009
Everybody's working all the time,
but what do you really gain?

1199
00:55:03,175 --> 00:55:06,470
And our kids--our kids play with
computer pets because they've learned

1200
00:55:06,637 --> 00:55:09,348
from us to trust machines
more than they do people.

1201
00:55:09,515 --> 00:55:12,143
We acquire, we consume, and we waste.

1202
00:55:12,310 --> 00:55:16,605
He's barking mad.
He's a lone nut.

1203
00:55:16,772 --> 00:55:19,358
And that's not how it was
supposed to be.

1204
00:55:19,525 --> 00:55:23,195
I promise you that was not the plan.

1205
00:55:23,362 --> 00:55:27,575
And I think it's time some things
changed around here, don't you?

1206
00:55:27,742 --> 00:55:30,286
What the hell is going on here?
Turn your sets off.

1207
00:55:30,453 --> 00:55:32,747
- TV history?
- Okay, cut him, cut him.

1208
00:55:32,913 --> 00:55:35,750
Here's your chain saw.
'Night, Ricky.

1209
00:55:35,916 --> 00:55:38,419
Here you go.
Right there.

1210
00:55:39,712 --> 00:55:44,467
Nu'

1211
00:55:44,633 --> 00:55:46,719
would you guys excuse us, please?

1212
00:55:46,886 --> 00:55:49,430
I need to talk to Ricky alone.

1213
00:55:49,597 --> 00:55:50,765
Okay, guys.

1214
00:55:50,931 --> 00:55:53,893
Barry, just for a moment, please?

1215
00:56:04,653 --> 00:56:08,282
[Clears throat]
Yeah. I'm out.

1216
00:56:08,449 --> 00:56:12,912
What were you thinking?

1217
00:56:13,079 --> 00:56:15,748
I don't know.

1218
00:56:15,915 --> 00:56:19,543
Ever since you guys showed up,
all I do is go backwards.

1219
00:56:19,710 --> 00:56:22,046
You know, it seems like no matter what
I've done you get offended,

1220
00:56:22,213 --> 00:56:26,634
or, you know, I make him mad and--

1221
00:56:26,801 --> 00:56:29,261
I mean, I didn't--I don't wanna
lose this job.

1222
00:56:29,428 --> 00:56:31,389
I--you know,
I like workin' here.

1223
00:56:31,555 --> 00:56:35,518
I like selling.
I'm good at it, I think.

1224
00:56:35,684 --> 00:56:40,689
My dad was a salesman. On the road.
You know evinrude motors?

1225
00:56:43,025 --> 00:56:44,902
Yeah, outboard motors.

1226
00:56:45,069 --> 00:56:50,574
He did the whole lake erie region,
both sides of the border.

1227
00:56:51,575 --> 00:56:52,827
Wow.

1228
00:56:52,993 --> 00:56:56,789
I drove with him for a couple of--
for a couple of summers.

1229
00:56:56,956 --> 00:57:00,668
Man, this caprice he had
was like his home.

1230
00:57:00,835 --> 00:57:04,171
The stick shift he would make
his place for rubber bands.

1231
00:57:04,338 --> 00:57:06,799
He'd keep all his rubber bands
on the stick shift.

1232
00:57:06,966 --> 00:57:09,802
And then he had his notes
all organized

1233
00:57:09,969 --> 00:57:12,054
with paper clips in
a very particular way.

1234
00:57:12,221 --> 00:57:16,767
And red licorice.
Boxes of red licorice.

1235
00:57:16,934 --> 00:57:21,564
We had a good time for a while.

1236
00:57:25,276 --> 00:57:28,737
What happened?

1237
00:57:29,447 --> 00:57:32,616
Oh, bad luck, I guess.

1238
00:57:32,783 --> 00:57:35,119
Nobody water skis on a dead lake.

1239
00:57:35,286 --> 00:57:37,538
So--

1240
00:57:37,705 --> 00:57:39,748
you know, he tried anyway, but, uh--

1241
00:57:39,915 --> 00:57:43,169
you know, you start to push and get
sweaty, and they can smell it.

1242
00:57:45,504 --> 00:57:49,216
- Wow, this is so weird.
- What?

1243
00:57:49,383 --> 00:57:52,761
I'm starting to think of you
as a real person.

1244
00:57:54,263 --> 00:57:56,474
Well, yeah. Sure.

1245
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:59,393
This whole broken, pathetic husk thing
is just-

1246
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:01,770
you know--I know, it's very appealing.

1247
00:58:01,937 --> 00:58:06,108
[Laughs] Well, if ya
got it, flaunt it.

1248
00:58:10,196 --> 00:58:12,781
I'll see you tomorrow.

1249
00:58:13,616 --> 00:58:15,826
Yeah.

1250
00:58:18,913 --> 00:58:19,997
If I may say--

1251
00:58:20,164 --> 00:58:22,333
you're through, HAYMAN!
Get lost!

1252
00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:37,056
Hey. How'd it go with McB?

1253
00:58:37,223 --> 00:58:39,433
- Fine, fine.
- What happened?

1254
00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:42,144
Oh, he was very gracious.
No legal action.

1255
00:58:42,311 --> 00:58:45,314
And he gave me a full 15 minutes
to leave the premises.

1256
00:58:45,481 --> 00:58:47,608
Come on. Move.
He's flying to D.C.

1257
00:58:47,775 --> 00:58:49,443
We can still catch him
in the parking lot.

1258
00:58:49,610 --> 00:58:50,945
- Who is?
- The boss!

1259
00:58:51,111 --> 00:58:52,279
No, Kate, it's over.

1260
00:58:52,446 --> 00:58:53,864
Not when he sees these. Come on.

1261
00:58:54,031 --> 00:58:56,116
Put that down.

1262
00:58:56,742 --> 00:58:58,285
[Kate] These are the
numbers from g's show.

1263
00:58:58,452 --> 00:59:00,329
Caller volume spiked
the second he came on.

1264
00:59:00,496 --> 00:59:01,622
So what?

1265
00:59:01,789 --> 00:59:03,499
They were probably calling to get
that nutcase off the air.

1266
00:59:03,666 --> 00:59:05,209
He reached them.
They liked him.

1267
00:59:05,376 --> 00:59:06,544
Oh, geez.

1268
00:59:06,710 --> 00:59:08,587
They wanted to buy something;
They just didn't know what.

1269
00:59:08,754 --> 00:59:11,382
John, this is a 30% jump.

1270
00:59:11,549 --> 00:59:13,551
Major audience connection
with a spokesperson.

1271
00:59:13,717 --> 00:59:15,177
Ricky was right.

1272
00:59:15,344 --> 00:59:18,472
What the hell are you saying?
We give this maniac another chance?

1273
00:59:18,639 --> 00:59:20,683
Ah! Which maniac would that be?

1274
00:59:20,849 --> 00:59:23,561
I thought about this all night.
G shook them up.

1275
00:59:23,727 --> 00:59:27,898
He's dangerous, but he represents an
honesty that people are longing for.

1276
00:59:28,065 --> 00:59:29,149
Totally.

1277
00:59:29,316 --> 00:59:30,609
And he represents a spirituality--

1278
00:59:30,776 --> 00:59:32,236
spirituality on a home shopping network?

1279
00:59:32,403 --> 00:59:35,864
I'm sorry, did I say spirituality?
I think I mean unconventionality.

1280
00:59:36,031 --> 00:59:38,242
- Unique, heartfelt, wise.
- Pithy.

1281
00:59:38,409 --> 00:59:40,244
Pithy?
Survey after survey shows

1282
00:59:40,411 --> 00:59:42,079
that after people buy,
they feel guilty.

1283
00:59:42,246 --> 00:59:43,956
Even if they can afford it,
they feel it was wrong

1284
00:59:44,123 --> 00:59:45,583
to buy something for themselves.

1285
00:59:45,749 --> 00:59:47,668
Why not put somebody on the air
who makes them

1286
00:59:47,835 --> 00:59:49,587
feel good about themselves
for a change?

1287
00:59:49,753 --> 00:59:50,921
Absolutely.

1288
00:59:51,088 --> 00:59:54,091
And, listen, let me just work with the guy
and let me focus his message.

1289
00:59:54,258 --> 00:59:58,095
I think--we think that g could
give us that unique image

1290
00:59:58,262 --> 00:59:59,346
that you're looking for.

1291
00:59:59,513 --> 01:00:02,099
Give me the deadest hour of the day.
2:00 A.M.?

1292
01:00:02,266 --> 01:00:06,353
[Chuckling]
All right.

1293
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:08,522
But I kid you not,

1294
01:00:08,689 --> 01:00:10,983
if I'm embarrassed in any
way, shape or form,

1295
01:00:11,150 --> 01:00:14,194
it is going to be both your asses.

1296
01:00:14,361 --> 01:00:17,323
- My ass entirely.
- My ass too, sir.

1297
01:00:17,781 --> 01:00:42,389
Nu'

1298
01:00:42,556 --> 01:00:45,726
I mean, that's rough, you know,
but you get the idea.

1299
01:00:45,893 --> 01:00:48,604
Yes.

1300
01:00:49,313 --> 01:00:51,774
You're a hungry one,
aren't you, Scott?

1301
01:00:51,940 --> 01:00:53,192
Excuse me?

1302
01:00:53,359 --> 01:00:57,112
No need for excuses.
I'm a hungry one too.

1303
01:00:57,279 --> 01:01:02,660
But what is it you really want?
It isn't this.

1304
01:01:02,826 --> 01:01:05,913
I want all of lT--
the whole thing.

1305
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:07,831
Give me the network.
Let me run with it.

1306
01:01:07,998 --> 01:01:13,379
I'll give you a redesign that'll
double sales inside of 18 months.

1307
01:01:13,962 --> 01:01:17,049
What about Kate and HAYMAN?

1308
01:01:17,216 --> 01:01:18,759
Kate's smart.

1309
01:01:18,926 --> 01:01:21,679
She wants to stay on
and work for me, fine.

1310
01:01:21,845 --> 01:01:25,182
HAYMAN can call in and buy things,

1311
01:01:25,349 --> 01:01:28,644
just like everybody else.

1312
01:01:34,024 --> 01:01:36,068
I can't believe we're
doin' this again.

1313
01:01:36,235 --> 01:01:37,403
[Man]
One minute!

1314
01:01:37,569 --> 01:01:39,279
Okay, a nice, deep breath. That's good.

1315
01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:40,698
- One minute!
- What do you think?

1316
01:01:40,864 --> 01:01:41,907
One minute!

1317
01:01:42,074 --> 01:01:43,575
Are you with the program?
You with us?

1318
01:01:43,742 --> 01:01:44,868
You're a natural.
Are you with us?

1319
01:01:45,035 --> 01:01:46,078
Oh, yeah.

1320
01:01:46,245 --> 01:01:47,663
Okay, okay. Now remember,
let's go over this one more time.

1321
01:01:47,830 --> 01:01:49,039
Here's the teleprompter.

1322
01:01:49,206 --> 01:01:50,374
Okay.

1323
01:01:50,541 --> 01:01:52,835
And when the red light goes on,
you're on, start reading.

1324
01:01:53,001 --> 01:01:53,961
Okay.

1325
01:01:54,128 --> 01:01:55,295
Remember, hold the product up.

1326
01:01:55,462 --> 01:01:56,380
Fifty seconds!

1327
01:01:56,547 --> 01:01:58,090
Okay, we're gonna be in the booth.

1328
01:01:58,257 --> 01:01:59,925
- Okay.
- You're a natural.

1329
01:02:00,092 --> 01:02:01,468
That's 'cause I love show business.

1330
01:02:01,635 --> 01:02:02,845
And show business loves you.

1331
01:02:03,011 --> 01:02:04,722
Show business. It's a business.
Show business.

1332
01:02:04,888 --> 01:02:06,974
Camera one up.
Camera two standing by.

1333
01:02:07,141 --> 01:02:08,892
[Men chattering]
Audio up.

1334
01:02:09,059 --> 01:02:10,644
[Man #2]
Audio, and five--

1335
01:02:10,811 --> 01:02:11,937
and count it off.

1336
01:02:12,104 --> 01:02:14,481
Four, three.

1337
01:02:17,776 --> 01:02:19,027
Oh, please speak.

1338
01:02:19,194 --> 01:02:20,863
Mr. mum, Mr. hush.
I can't believe it.

1339
01:02:21,029 --> 01:02:24,658
- Hello.
- Okay. Hold it up.

1340
01:02:24,825 --> 01:02:26,702
Wonderful new product
we have here.

1341
01:02:26,869 --> 01:02:29,413
It's called the starfish pendant.

1342
01:02:29,580 --> 01:02:31,290
He's holding it up.
He's good.

1343
01:02:31,457 --> 01:02:35,252
It's made out of two-karat gold,
wonderful two-karat gold,

1344
01:02:35,419 --> 01:02:36,837
which makes it very charming.

1345
01:02:37,004 --> 01:02:39,381
Because it's so very light,
it's easy to wear.

1346
01:02:39,548 --> 01:02:42,468
And kids love it.
It looks great at parties.

1347
01:02:42,634 --> 01:02:45,220
And the starfish pendant--

1348
01:02:47,931 --> 01:02:49,767
talk. Keep reading. Keep reading.

1349
01:02:49,933 --> 01:02:51,351
I have something better for you
than a necklace.

1350
01:02:51,518 --> 01:02:53,437
Oh, no.

1351
01:02:53,604 --> 01:02:55,481
[Chuckles]
This brought back a memory.

1352
01:02:55,647 --> 01:02:57,524
Something that happened to me
when I was a little boy.

1353
01:02:57,691 --> 01:03:01,236
Memories are good.
There was a storm.

1354
01:03:01,403 --> 01:03:05,741
And thousands and thousands of
starfish were washed up on the shore.

1355
01:03:05,908 --> 01:03:07,743
Only four days ago
you waved him over.

1356
01:03:07,910 --> 01:03:09,328
Let's just hold on, hold on.

1357
01:03:09,495 --> 01:03:11,288
And there was this beautiful little girl
running down the beach

1358
01:03:11,455 --> 01:03:12,539
picking up the starfish.

1359
01:03:12,706 --> 01:03:14,208
She was frantically throwing them
back into the ocean.

1360
01:03:14,374 --> 01:03:16,960
When I saw her doing this, I said to her,
"why are you doing that?

1361
01:03:17,127 --> 01:03:20,839
You can only save a few before they die.
What difference does it make?"

1362
01:03:21,006 --> 01:03:27,095
And she looked at me and she said,
"to that one, it makes a difference."

1363
01:03:27,638 --> 01:03:31,850
"To that one, it makes a difference,"
that little girl said.

1364
01:03:32,017 --> 01:03:33,143
And she was right.

1365
01:03:33,310 --> 01:03:35,187
At that very moment, she was making
a difference for that starfish,

1366
01:03:35,354 --> 01:03:37,648
and she was making a difference for herself,
too, because she was

1367
01:03:37,815 --> 01:03:40,400
connected to that starfish.

1368
01:03:40,567 --> 01:03:42,694
And that's what life is all about--
connecting.

1369
01:03:42,861 --> 01:03:44,780
In fact, that's the only time
you're ever alive, really,

1370
01:03:44,947 --> 01:03:47,825
is when you're connecting.

1371
01:03:47,991 --> 01:03:50,369
That's kind of a nice story.

1372
01:03:50,536 --> 01:03:52,454
That's sweet, that's sweet.

1373
01:03:52,621 --> 01:03:54,623
Well, thank you for tuning in.

1374
01:03:54,790 --> 01:03:56,542
And remember, let go,

1375
01:03:56,708 --> 01:03:59,002
give in and take the journey.

1376
01:03:59,169 --> 01:04:03,048
Oh, wait! One other thing.

1377
01:04:04,132 --> 01:04:06,426
I work here with my friend
Ricky HAYMAN.

1378
01:04:06,593 --> 01:04:09,346
Where'd he get that?
Where'd he get that picture?

1379
01:04:09,513 --> 01:04:11,014
He asked.
I just-

1380
01:04:11,181 --> 01:04:13,100
[kate]
Oh, Barry, you didn't.

1381
01:04:13,267 --> 01:04:14,560
What?
I didn't--

1382
01:04:14,726 --> 01:04:16,186
Ricky doesn't like himself because
he doesn't think he's a good person

1383
01:04:16,353 --> 01:04:17,688
'cause he can't see all
of his good qualities.

1384
01:04:17,855 --> 01:04:21,108
- So--can you come in closer?
- Sam, frame off the picture.

1385
01:04:21,275 --> 01:04:22,693
- Oh, this lS--
- Sam, Sam.

1386
01:04:22,860 --> 01:04:24,152
I didn't--I didn't know he was gonna--

1387
01:04:24,319 --> 01:04:26,029
- don't go in close. Don't.
- Don't, don't.

1388
01:04:26,196 --> 01:04:27,406
Go in close.

1389
01:04:27,573 --> 01:04:28,907
Don't, don't go in close, Sam!

1390
01:04:29,074 --> 01:04:31,618
- Too late.
- Oh, this is everybody's joke?

1391
01:04:31,785 --> 01:04:33,704
Yes. I see. Ha-ha-ha.

1392
01:04:33,871 --> 01:04:36,915
It's funny day. Hey, cheesy.

1393
01:04:37,082 --> 01:04:39,209
Don't. No. Don't, don't, don't.

1394
01:04:39,376 --> 01:04:41,295
There's two things you can do for me
for my friend Ricky HAYMAN.

1395
01:04:41,461 --> 01:04:44,214
If you run into this man anywhere,
if you see him anywhere,

1396
01:04:44,381 --> 01:04:46,925
one thing is, go up to him
and tell him something nice

1397
01:04:47,092 --> 01:04:49,303
about himself to build up his confidence.

1398
01:04:49,469 --> 01:04:51,263
Compliment his dress
or his hairstyle or something.

1399
01:04:51,430 --> 01:04:53,181
"You look great today, Ricky."

1400
01:04:53,348 --> 01:04:54,975
Something, you know,
that's reassuring to him

1401
01:04:55,142 --> 01:04:57,144
because he has a very,
very low self-image.

1402
01:04:57,311 --> 01:04:58,937
This is the lowest moment of my life.

1403
01:04:59,104 --> 01:05:02,816
And the second thing is you--
hug him.

1404
01:05:02,983 --> 01:05:04,735
No, this is the lowest moment
of my life.

1405
01:05:04,902 --> 01:05:06,653
[Kate laughing]

1406
01:05:06,820 --> 01:05:09,239
If you see this man, give him a hug.

1407
01:05:09,406 --> 01:05:11,742
He really, really wants to be hugged,
and he's not used to it.

1408
01:05:11,909 --> 01:05:13,201
No!

1409
01:05:13,368 --> 01:05:14,745
He really needs it.

1410
01:05:14,912 --> 01:05:16,413
No, no. No.

1411
01:05:16,580 --> 01:05:19,583
[Laughing]

1412
01:05:19,750 --> 01:05:22,628
I just wanted to tell you I think
you're really--

1413
01:05:22,794 --> 01:05:24,630
really tall.

1414
01:05:24,796 --> 01:05:27,424
Very nice. Thank you for the national
humiliation. Thank you.

1415
01:05:27,591 --> 01:05:29,134
Wait, wait, wait. Look at this.

1416
01:05:29,301 --> 01:05:30,802
Humiliated today,
hero tomorrow.

1417
01:05:30,969 --> 01:05:34,431
Hey, take a look at this.
Look at the numbers.

1418
01:05:34,598 --> 01:05:36,016
Unbelievable.

1419
01:05:36,183 --> 01:05:38,060
- Are those the actual numbers?
- Those are the actual numbers.

1420
01:05:38,226 --> 01:05:39,561
- These are the pendants?
- He did it.

1421
01:05:39,728 --> 01:05:40,771
[Man #1]
Look at that.

1422
01:05:40,938 --> 01:05:42,397
[Man #2]
I can't believe it. It's awesome.

1423
01:05:42,564 --> 01:05:45,484
My friends, do you have food
that goes to waste?

1424
01:05:45,651 --> 01:05:47,277
You ever thought about using
your drive time

1425
01:05:47,444 --> 01:05:48,946
to cook a meal for your family?

1426
01:05:49,112 --> 01:05:52,658
Do you feel the need to store your
vegetables and lunch meats forever?

1427
01:05:52,824 --> 01:05:56,411
We say wet it again with foggy.

1428
01:05:56,578 --> 01:05:58,872
It's the hood buddy--
the air filter that uses the heat

1429
01:05:59,039 --> 01:06:02,793
of your gas-guzzling engine to cook
fabulous meals while you drive.

1430
01:06:02,960 --> 01:06:06,713
Lil squirt...It's a festive fountain
that gives your Fanny

1431
01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:09,675
"a kiss of refreshing mist."

1432
01:06:09,841 --> 01:06:13,095
But look what we did with foggy!

1433
01:06:13,261 --> 01:06:15,013
We made banana mush.

1434
01:06:15,180 --> 01:06:19,810
Soot gives it a unique, unrivaled,
rich, hearty, robust aroma.

1435
01:06:19,977 --> 01:06:22,854
Why would you dry these bananas out
in the first place?

1436
01:06:23,021 --> 01:06:26,650
Then I have two words for you, g2
suck it.

1437
01:06:26,817 --> 01:06:31,279
Lil squirt, this is probably the nastiest
product on the entire network.

1438
01:06:31,446 --> 01:06:34,825
10-4, hood buddy.
Yummy.

1439
01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:41,373
[G] Today is the first day
of the rest of your life.

1440
01:06:41,540 --> 01:06:44,084
But let's face it, the seat-warmers
that you're sitting on

1441
01:06:44,251 --> 01:06:45,836
are getting more out of life
than you are.

1442
01:06:46,003 --> 01:06:47,004
Yes, they are.

1443
01:06:47,170 --> 01:06:48,755
And if I were you--
and I am you--

1444
01:06:48,922 --> 01:06:50,716
if I were you, what I would do is

1445
01:06:50,882 --> 01:06:55,846
I would embrace each and every
new day like it was a long-lost lover,

1446
01:06:56,013 --> 01:06:59,057
and squeeze all the life juice
I possibly could.

1447
01:06:59,224 --> 01:07:01,226
The juicer, the juicer.
Sam, get a shot of the juicer.

1448
01:07:01,393 --> 01:07:03,020
Juicers, juicers.

1449
01:07:03,186 --> 01:07:05,230
Okay, tight shot.
Kitchen-aid, 79.95.

1450
01:07:05,397 --> 01:07:07,149
Kitchen-aid juicer, 79.95.

1451
01:07:07,315 --> 01:07:09,901
- Fabulous.
- Go, go, go.

1452
01:07:10,068 --> 01:07:12,320
[Woman] Home shoppers
have found a new guru.

1453
01:07:12,487 --> 01:07:16,950
His name is g, and he's a mixture of
higher thinking and lower prices.

1454
01:07:17,117 --> 01:07:20,328
Okay, get off the phone.
You have to look at these.

1455
01:07:20,495 --> 01:07:26,334
[Ricky] I'll call you later.
TV guide, time, Forbes.

1456
01:07:29,755 --> 01:07:31,882
Correct me if I'm wrong, sir--

1457
01:07:32,049 --> 01:07:34,551
[chuckles]
I don't wanna put words in your mouth.

1458
01:07:34,718 --> 01:07:37,054
It felt to me as if we had a deal.

1459
01:07:37,220 --> 01:07:38,722
Well, you felt wrong.

1460
01:07:38,889 --> 01:07:41,892
I said if HAYMAN screwed up,
you were in.

1461
01:07:42,059 --> 01:07:43,685
He didn't.

1462
01:07:43,852 --> 01:07:47,564
This g goof of his is the biggest thing
to hit home shopping

1463
01:07:47,731 --> 01:07:51,026
since the cubic zirconia.

1464
01:07:51,610 --> 01:07:54,321
That doesn't pique your
Sherlock Holmes brain cells?

1465
01:07:54,488 --> 01:07:56,573
My God, the man has no history,

1466
01:07:56,740 --> 01:07:59,034
no social security number,
no driver's license,

1467
01:07:59,201 --> 01:08:02,412
voter's registration,
birth certificate, nothing.

1468
01:08:02,579 --> 01:08:04,664
G isn't even a name,
for crying out loud.

1469
01:08:04,831 --> 01:08:06,249
You don't find that curious?

1470
01:08:06,416 --> 01:08:10,253
Yes, I do.
I just don't find it illegal.

1471
01:08:10,420 --> 01:08:13,173
There is a definite talmudic wisdom
to g's philosophy.

1472
01:08:13,340 --> 01:08:14,758
He is clearly a student of the--

1473
01:08:14,925 --> 01:08:17,886
koran figures prominently
in g's aphorisms.

1474
01:08:18,053 --> 01:08:19,554
And I'm sure he will tell you he's--

1475
01:08:19,721 --> 01:08:21,431
a student of the new testament.

1476
01:08:21,598 --> 01:08:23,391
G's essential religious foundation

1477
01:08:23,558 --> 01:08:26,353
so clearly echoes the teachings
of Jesus Christ,

1478
01:08:26,520 --> 01:08:28,605
that I wonder if he might
not have spent some time

1479
01:08:28,772 --> 01:08:30,440
in the seminary himself.

1480
01:08:30,607 --> 01:08:32,317
No, don't change anything.
I wanna keep it simple.

1481
01:08:32,484 --> 01:08:34,778
What? What did I tell you?
Every market.

1482
01:08:34,945 --> 01:08:36,655
Right!
Every market.

1483
01:08:36,822 --> 01:08:38,406
Let's run it everywhere.
Full page.

1484
01:08:38,573 --> 01:08:40,784
I don't care how much it costs.
Save me this stuff in the--right.

1485
01:08:40,951 --> 01:08:43,161
What? A week. Let's run it for a week,
see what happens.

1486
01:08:43,328 --> 01:08:45,580
No, man. Thank you.

1487
01:08:45,747 --> 01:08:47,791
[Beeps]

1488
01:08:52,337 --> 01:08:55,215
Hi, nice to see you--
talk to you. Hi, hey!

1489
01:08:55,382 --> 01:08:56,466
Hey.
Hey.

1490
01:08:56,633 --> 01:08:57,634
[Kate]
Hey!

1491
01:08:57,801 --> 01:08:58,969
The, uh--we're glad to get you.

1492
01:08:59,136 --> 01:09:02,013
Listen, we're just sittin' around here--
I know it's sort of last minute.

1493
01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:03,265
We were--

1494
01:09:03,431 --> 01:09:06,184
wondering if I wanted to go out
for a drink?

1495
01:09:06,351 --> 01:09:07,602
Exactly right.

1496
01:09:07,769 --> 01:09:09,813
The, uh--I don't know what you
have a taste for, but--

1497
01:09:09,980 --> 01:09:11,982
- how about the breakwater?
- I love the breakwater.

1498
01:09:12,149 --> 01:09:13,400
It's, um--

1499
01:09:13,567 --> 01:09:14,609
what time is it?
7:00?

1500
01:09:14,776 --> 01:09:15,819
Can you pick me up in half an hour?

1501
01:09:15,986 --> 01:09:18,446
We will see you in
one half hour. Great.

1502
01:09:21,658 --> 01:10:34,189
Nu'

1503
01:10:37,108 --> 01:10:40,445
[thunder rumbling]

1504
01:10:40,612 --> 01:10:44,199
[Car door closes]
[Ricky, Kate laughing]

1505
01:10:44,366 --> 01:10:47,744
Oh. Oh.

1506
01:10:47,911 --> 01:10:50,872
Oh.

1507
01:10:54,334 --> 01:10:57,420
[Chuckling] - I'm wet.
- You're so wet.

1508
01:10:57,587 --> 01:11:00,257
Look at that. Well, Scott was
certainly right about one thing.

1509
01:11:00,423 --> 01:11:02,133
About what?

1510
01:11:02,300 --> 01:11:04,386
You do have elegant toes.

1511
01:11:04,552 --> 01:11:07,222
[Laughs]

1512
01:11:08,181 --> 01:11:11,351
Scott was, um--

1513
01:11:11,518 --> 01:11:13,937
what? You two dated?

1514
01:11:14,104 --> 01:11:16,106
A while ago.

1515
01:11:16,273 --> 01:11:18,900
For about a minute.

1516
01:11:19,985 --> 01:11:23,738
Well, you know, he seems like a--

1517
01:11:24,823 --> 01:11:28,702
[laughing] Like a determined guy.
Yeah.

1518
01:11:28,868 --> 01:11:33,540
Scott was very interested in me--
in our relationship--

1519
01:11:33,707 --> 01:11:37,419
until he got his introduction
to MCBAINBRIDGE.

1520
01:11:38,712 --> 01:11:42,799
What? Feel like he used you?

1521
01:11:42,966 --> 01:11:45,969
He did some work for us.
Made me look good.

1522
01:11:46,136 --> 01:11:49,347
So I guess we used each other.

1523
01:11:51,057 --> 01:11:54,102
All's fair, right?

1524
01:11:58,064 --> 01:12:00,859
I had a really nice time.

1525
01:12:01,026 --> 01:12:04,446
I had a nice time too.

1526
01:12:04,988 --> 01:12:08,158
I'll see you tomorrow.

1527
01:12:11,536 --> 01:12:14,539
See you later.

1528
01:12:18,043 --> 01:12:20,211
Ricky!

1529
01:12:21,671 --> 01:12:24,799
I loved our dance.

1530
01:12:36,853 --> 01:12:45,695
Nu'

1531
01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:48,656
damn.

1532
01:12:49,699 --> 01:12:52,243
Damn.

1533
01:12:54,537 --> 01:12:58,500
[Car door closes,
footsteps approaching]

1534
01:12:59,876 --> 01:13:12,555
Nu'

1535
01:13:16,559 --> 01:13:22,148
[shouting, chattering]

1536
01:13:22,315 --> 01:13:23,900
It's g. What's happening?

1537
01:13:24,067 --> 01:13:27,028
Somebody came forward, some woman.
She says g's her husband.

1538
01:13:27,195 --> 01:13:29,447
Says he has a whole family--
six kids--in Chicago.

1539
01:13:29,614 --> 01:13:32,117
- Just walked out, abandoned them.
- Oh, I don't believe that.

1540
01:13:32,283 --> 01:13:33,743
She's holding a press conference
in an hour.

1541
01:13:33,910 --> 01:13:35,328
Where?

1542
01:13:35,495 --> 01:13:37,455
It was time for this charade to end.

1543
01:13:37,622 --> 01:13:41,418
This man, g, had already hurt me
and my kids.

1544
01:13:41,584 --> 01:13:46,965
And, well, when I saw this,

1545
01:13:47,966 --> 01:13:50,218
I knew I couldn't let him hurt
any other innocent people.

1546
01:13:50,385 --> 01:13:52,387
Well, isn't this just lovely.

1547
01:13:52,554 --> 01:13:55,056
Scott, get us out of this.

1548
01:13:55,223 --> 01:13:57,934
Okay, people.
Here's the bitter truth.

1549
01:13:58,101 --> 01:14:00,854
The only way we're gonna get out of
this in one piece is to face it.

1550
01:14:01,020 --> 01:14:04,482
So, I'm sorry, but, Ricky, Kate,
you're gonna have to resign.

1551
01:14:04,649 --> 01:14:06,484
G hasn't said if she's
telling the truth.

1552
01:14:06,651 --> 01:14:08,236
G, do you know this woman?

1553
01:14:08,403 --> 01:14:10,238
Yes, that's grace from Chicago.

1554
01:14:10,405 --> 01:14:13,992
She's holding little iris and that's
Michael and Lloyd with her.

1555
01:14:14,576 --> 01:14:16,202
Excuse me a second.

1556
01:14:16,369 --> 01:14:19,205
- Where are you going?
- Going to say hello.

1557
01:14:20,999 --> 01:14:25,503
[Reporters clamoring]

1558
01:14:25,670 --> 01:14:27,755
[Woman]
G, do you know this woman?

1559
01:14:27,922 --> 01:14:32,302
Kids, hi!
It's so good to--everybody's gotten so big.

1560
01:14:32,469 --> 01:14:33,970
[Man] G, how long
were you married

1561
01:14:34,137 --> 01:14:36,514
before you deserted grace
and the kids?

1562
01:14:37,474 --> 01:14:38,683
What?

1563
01:14:38,850 --> 01:14:40,477
G, why did you marry grace,
father six children

1564
01:14:40,643 --> 01:14:43,146
and just run off in the middle
of the night?

1565
01:14:43,313 --> 01:14:45,482
You, you know what you did.
You left.

1566
01:14:46,232 --> 01:14:48,151
Now, that's true.
I did leave.

1567
01:14:48,318 --> 01:14:49,736
Why did you lie to America?

1568
01:14:49,903 --> 01:14:51,321
We trusted you.

1569
01:14:51,488 --> 01:14:53,198
How many other families
have you destroyed?

1570
01:14:53,364 --> 01:14:55,492
Give us the real story.

1571
01:14:55,658 --> 01:14:56,993
[Man]
What is the truth here?

1572
01:14:57,160 --> 01:14:58,578
[Shouting questions]

1573
01:14:58,745 --> 01:15:01,956
Are you concerned about
possible jail time?

1574
01:15:02,582 --> 01:15:05,502
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Please, wait a minute.

1575
01:15:05,668 --> 01:15:08,046
[Shouting questions]

1576
01:15:08,213 --> 01:15:11,549
Stop, stop.
I lied. I lied!

1577
01:15:12,133 --> 01:15:14,302
[Shouting stops]

1578
01:15:14,761 --> 01:15:16,846
I lied for the money.

1579
01:15:17,013 --> 01:15:20,475
G--g's a Saint.

1580
01:15:21,643 --> 01:15:25,313
He's not my husband
or their dad.

1581
01:15:26,397 --> 01:15:28,274
I wish--

1582
01:15:28,441 --> 01:15:32,529
he stayed with us a few winters ago
as a friend.

1583
01:15:32,695 --> 01:15:38,535
He helped us.
I am so sorry.

1584
01:15:39,702 --> 01:15:44,123
I thought--
you know, I just-

1585
01:15:47,418 --> 01:15:49,379
it's all right.

1586
01:15:49,546 --> 01:15:52,632
Okay?
You all right?

1587
01:15:57,720 --> 01:15:59,430
That man.

1588
01:15:59,597 --> 01:16:02,767
I called him, and I told him
that I knew g.

1589
01:16:02,934 --> 01:16:04,227
Who's she talking about?

1590
01:16:04,394 --> 01:16:05,645
He offered me money, five grand.

1591
01:16:05,812 --> 01:16:09,023
$5,000 to get up here and say a few
words, to get up here and lie.

1592
01:16:09,190 --> 01:16:12,277
He paid me to lie about g.

1593
01:16:12,443 --> 01:16:15,655
I'm sorry. I may be poor, but there's
your bad man right there!

1594
01:16:15,822 --> 01:16:17,323
There he is.

1595
01:16:17,490 --> 01:16:19,075
Where?
Scott HAWKES!

1596
01:16:19,242 --> 01:16:21,995
[Crowd chattering]

1597
01:16:22,161 --> 01:16:25,290
[Shouting questions]

1598
01:16:27,584 --> 01:16:30,295
[Man] Is this a conspiracy, Scott?
Or were you by yourself?

1599
01:16:30,461 --> 01:16:32,171
[Keys jingle on ground]

1600
01:16:32,338 --> 01:16:34,549
No, I have no comment.

1601
01:16:34,716 --> 01:16:40,597
[Ricky]
No more questions.

1602
01:16:40,763 --> 01:16:43,349
[Shouting] Privacy.
Just a little privacy.

1603
01:16:43,975 --> 01:16:48,313
I only have a comment at this point.
Tell us the truth.

1604
01:16:48,479 --> 01:16:50,231
Don't, don't, don't--let him alone.
Let him have a little privacy.

1605
01:16:50,398 --> 01:16:51,858
And, uh--no, I wanna
take care of that.

1606
01:16:52,025 --> 01:16:53,610
Listen, I've been empowered
by Mr. John MCBAINBRIDGE

1607
01:16:53,776 --> 01:16:55,111
to offer grace $5,000

1608
01:16:55,278 --> 01:16:57,697
on behalf of g and
the good buy network,

1609
01:16:57,864 --> 01:17:00,992
uh, as well as $5,000 worth
of good buy products,

1610
01:17:01,159 --> 01:17:06,456
including the, uh, new George foreman
lean mean fat reducer grill machine

1611
01:17:06,623 --> 01:17:08,541
that's available only on
Wednesday nights on George's show

1612
01:17:08,708 --> 01:17:10,126
here on our show.

1613
01:17:10,293 --> 01:17:11,878
- This sounds like a publicity stunt.
- Certainly is not, Tanya.

1614
01:17:12,045 --> 01:17:14,714
It was what it was, and let's all
continue on our journey.

1615
01:17:14,881 --> 01:17:16,799
Thanks so much.

1616
01:17:16,966 --> 01:17:19,927
[Tune: "Beethoven's fifth symphony"]
J' g, g, g, g j'

1617
01:17:20,094 --> 01:17:23,681
g,g,g,g

1618
01:17:23,848 --> 01:17:25,975
oh, don't you think we're
going a little far?

1619
01:17:26,142 --> 01:17:27,769
With what?
The announcer?

1620
01:17:27,935 --> 01:17:29,270
It's the top of the show.
Pizazz.

1621
01:17:29,437 --> 01:17:31,397
We're just kidding around with that,
but I want to make it an event.

1622
01:17:31,564 --> 01:17:34,734
[Announcer]
Here's g!

1623
01:17:34,901 --> 01:17:37,820
Would your life be better
with a bigger TV set?

1624
01:17:37,987 --> 01:17:39,781
Yeah, sure.
On Sundays, yeah.

1625
01:17:39,947 --> 01:17:43,993
- Or a v.C.R.?
- TV set, v.C.R.

1626
01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:46,829
[Gasps]
Or a laser disc, yes?

1627
01:17:46,996 --> 01:17:48,915
He's especially excited
about laser discs.

1628
01:17:49,082 --> 01:17:50,291
Great. Look up the numbers.
Get ready to type.

1629
01:17:50,458 --> 01:17:51,668
No.

1630
01:17:51,834 --> 01:17:52,835
[Together]
No?

1631
01:17:53,002 --> 01:17:54,170
No.

1632
01:17:54,337 --> 01:17:55,672
[Chuckling] No, no.
Can't you see?

1633
01:17:55,838 --> 01:17:57,382
This--this doesn't mean anything.

1634
01:17:57,548 --> 01:17:58,925
My clothes don't mean anything.

1635
01:17:59,092 --> 01:18:02,220
I just wish he weren't so
anti-everything.

1636
01:18:02,387 --> 01:18:03,888
You know what's really important?

1637
01:18:04,055 --> 01:18:05,640
I'll show you.
Come on.

1638
01:18:05,807 --> 01:18:07,183
Oop, here we go.
Fasten your seat belts.

1639
01:18:07,350 --> 01:18:08,935
- Come with me?
- Come with me.

1640
01:18:09,102 --> 01:18:11,062
Let me show you.

1641
01:18:19,612 --> 01:18:25,868
This is important.
This is crucial.

1642
01:18:27,120 --> 01:18:29,997
This is something that every person
should have in their life.

1643
01:18:30,164 --> 01:18:32,208
This is a gift you will never
get tired of.

1644
01:18:32,375 --> 01:18:35,294
Her name is Kate, and she is as
wonderful as you possibly can get.

1645
01:18:35,461 --> 01:18:36,713
And you know why?

1646
01:18:36,879 --> 01:18:40,383
Because when you talk to Kate,
she listens to what you say.

1647
01:18:40,550 --> 01:18:43,553
And that's more important than
any v.C.R. And any television.

1648
01:18:43,720 --> 01:18:45,930
Isn't that right, Kate?

1649
01:18:46,097 --> 01:18:49,559
I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
What'd you say?

1650
01:18:49,726 --> 01:18:52,478
How could you not love this woman?
How charming is she?

1651
01:18:52,645 --> 01:18:55,732
How wonderful is she?
Let me tell you.

1652
01:18:55,898 --> 01:18:57,900
Let me tell you what everybody out there
needs to find...

1653
01:18:58,067 --> 01:19:00,236
Ultimate and true happiness.

1654
01:19:00,403 --> 01:19:03,030
Come back, brutus.

1655
01:19:07,952 --> 01:19:09,454
Seventy-five years.

1656
01:19:09,620 --> 01:19:11,038
That's how much time you get
if you're lucky.

1657
01:19:11,205 --> 01:19:13,124
Seventy-five years.
Seventy-five winters,

1658
01:19:13,291 --> 01:19:15,752
seventy-five springtimes,
seventy-five summers

1659
01:19:15,918 --> 01:19:17,462
and seventy-five autumns.

1660
01:19:17,628 --> 01:19:19,756
When you look at it like that,
it's not a lot of time, is it?

1661
01:19:19,922 --> 01:19:21,048
Don't waste them.

1662
01:19:21,215 --> 01:19:23,634
Get your head out of the rat race
and forget about

1663
01:19:23,801 --> 01:19:25,928
the superficial things that
preoccupy your existence,

1664
01:19:26,095 --> 01:19:29,891
and get back to what's important now.
Right now, this very second.

1665
01:19:30,057 --> 01:19:32,101
And I'm not saying drop everything
and let the world come

1666
01:19:32,268 --> 01:19:33,561
to a grinding halt.

1667
01:19:33,728 --> 01:19:36,314
I'm saying that you can become a seeker.
You can be loving more.

1668
01:19:36,481 --> 01:19:38,441
You could be taking some chances.
You could be living more.

1669
01:19:38,608 --> 01:19:40,193
You can be spending more time
with your family.

1670
01:19:40,359 --> 01:19:41,986
You can be getting in touch with
the part of you that lives

1671
01:19:42,153 --> 01:19:45,323
instead of fears, the part of you that loves
instead of hates,

1672
01:19:45,490 --> 01:19:48,534
the part of you that recognizes
the humanity in all of us.

1673
01:19:48,701 --> 01:19:50,745
And I tell you, that's where
your fortune--

1674
01:19:50,912 --> 01:19:52,747
oh, there it is.
It was a momentary bobble.

1675
01:19:52,914 --> 01:19:54,457
We're back, we're back.

1676
01:19:54,624 --> 01:19:57,919
Careful, brutus, don't fall down.
I want you to see something.

1677
01:19:59,462 --> 01:20:02,006
Something very, very important.

1678
01:20:02,173 --> 01:20:04,175
Okay, right here.

1679
01:20:04,634 --> 01:20:09,430
Can you fill the screen up with
this grass here for me, brutus?

1680
01:20:10,681 --> 01:20:12,767
That's the answer right there.

1681
01:20:12,934 --> 01:20:15,478
That's what it's all about,
right there.

1682
01:20:16,354 --> 01:20:31,327
Nu'

1683
01:20:36,165 --> 01:20:39,669
just take a little break just
for a second.

1684
01:20:39,836 --> 01:20:43,756
Just, just look at this,
this beautiful,

1685
01:20:43,923 --> 01:20:48,052
peaceful parcel of earth around us.

1686
01:20:48,219 --> 01:20:49,512
Go ahead, wherever you are.

1687
01:20:49,679 --> 01:20:53,307
Just--just go look at some grass.
Go ahead.

1688
01:20:53,474 --> 01:20:57,979
Just go look at some grass.

1689
01:21:10,533 --> 01:21:13,494
Speedy, come on over here.
Take a look at this grass.

1690
01:21:15,246 --> 01:21:16,873
[Ricky]
Barry. Barry! Barry. Barry.

1691
01:21:17,039 --> 01:21:19,542
Gentlemen, battle stations,
battle stations.

1692
01:21:19,709 --> 01:21:22,378
J.P., we're just about to get ready
to shoot here live.

1693
01:21:22,545 --> 01:21:24,380
Okay, go, go.
Barry, Barry!

1694
01:21:24,547 --> 01:21:25,840
Where is he?
Where is he?

1695
01:21:26,007 --> 01:21:28,759
Come on, come on, come on!
We're just about to cut to you.

1696
01:21:28,926 --> 01:21:32,013
Hold up the mat. Yeah.
I want you to talk about the mat.

1697
01:21:32,179 --> 01:21:33,764
Okay? I don't wanna.
I'm not on-air.

1698
01:21:33,931 --> 01:21:36,350
Let's call it a peaceful parcel.
Peaceful par--what?

1699
01:21:36,517 --> 01:21:38,060
Do you understand?
I'm not--I'm not on-air--

1700
01:21:38,227 --> 01:21:39,645
go, go!

1701
01:21:39,812 --> 01:21:42,398
Can we--are we--we're gonna go
in tight, right?

1702
01:21:42,565 --> 01:21:45,610
'Cause I don't--
oh. Oh, man.

1703
01:21:45,776 --> 01:21:47,153
Okay, Sam, what's up?

1704
01:21:47,320 --> 01:21:49,071
Barry, he's on the floor
with one of his mats.

1705
01:21:49,238 --> 01:21:50,573
The grass mats.

1706
01:21:50,740 --> 01:21:52,241
Get ready to go to a shot of him
or a close one on the mat.

1707
01:21:52,408 --> 01:21:54,201
Right. One, on Barry.
Two, tight on mat.

1708
01:21:54,368 --> 01:21:57,079
Here we go.
Ricky, I am not on-air talent!

1709
01:21:57,246 --> 01:21:59,665
Also, get ready to go
to the graphics. Ready!

1710
01:21:59,832 --> 01:22:05,504
- Okay, graphics prepped and ready.
- You have to let go of your worries.

1711
01:22:05,671 --> 01:22:08,090
- Go to graphics.
- Go to graphics.

1712
01:22:08,257 --> 01:22:10,051
- Go to g.
- G.

1713
01:22:10,217 --> 01:22:12,720
- G up.
- Give in.

1714
01:22:12,887 --> 01:22:15,264
To your desires.

1715
01:22:15,431 --> 01:22:17,600
- Go to graphics.
- Graphics.

1716
01:22:17,767 --> 01:22:19,602
Go to g.
On g.

1717
01:22:19,769 --> 01:22:23,314
- And take the journey.
- To your telephone

1718
01:22:23,481 --> 01:22:25,107
and call the good buy channel

1719
01:22:25,274 --> 01:22:27,109
where the good buys are available
24-hours a day.

1720
01:22:27,276 --> 01:22:29,111
- Go to graphics.
- Graphics.

1721
01:22:29,278 --> 01:22:31,197
- Go to Barry.
- And to Barry.

1722
01:22:31,364 --> 01:22:33,950
Cue Barry.

1723
01:22:34,116 --> 01:22:38,371
[Stammering]
Okay.

1724
01:22:38,913 --> 01:22:40,498
Thanks, g.

1725
01:22:40,665 --> 01:22:42,416
[Chuckles] Um--

1726
01:22:42,583 --> 01:22:43,876
[ricky]
Good.

1727
01:22:44,043 --> 01:22:45,878
You're watching the, uh,
the good buy shopping network,

1728
01:22:46,045 --> 01:22:51,050
where the grass is always
just a little bit greener.

1729
01:22:52,009 --> 01:22:54,095
[Phone ringing]
Look at him go.

1730
01:22:54,261 --> 01:22:57,807
This is Kate.
Hi, Mary.

1731
01:22:57,974 --> 01:23:00,184
Great. I'll tell him.

1732
01:23:01,143 --> 01:23:03,646
Well, we don't have to worry about
what to do with the grass mats.

1733
01:23:03,813 --> 01:23:07,566
- They're selling out.
- Already?

1734
01:23:08,401 --> 01:23:11,153
Now, that's what I like to hear.
The grass mats are selling out.

1735
01:23:11,320 --> 01:23:14,657
All right!

1736
01:23:14,824 --> 01:23:18,035
[Laughing] Thank you so much.
Good job.

1737
01:23:18,202 --> 01:23:22,665
[Barry] If you're feeling bad, and you
want a little spring in your winter--

1738
01:23:27,044 --> 01:23:32,383
[crowd shouting]

1739
01:24:23,768 --> 01:24:28,105
Well, that was just the best macaroni
and cheese dinner I think I ever had.

1740
01:24:28,272 --> 01:24:30,066
Kraft in the box is, of course,
the classic,

1741
01:24:30,232 --> 01:24:33,152
- but you have a touch.
- My pleasure.

1742
01:24:35,154 --> 01:24:38,949
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

1743
01:24:39,575 --> 01:24:40,951
Wait a minute.

1744
01:24:41,118 --> 01:24:43,537
The way you say "I'm fine--"

1745
01:24:43,704 --> 01:24:46,248
what's the matter?

1746
01:24:47,124 --> 01:24:51,087
I'm worried about g.
Remember when we first met him?

1747
01:24:51,253 --> 01:24:54,256
He was so happy.
And that smile.

1748
01:24:54,423 --> 01:24:57,259
And now he just seems drained.

1749
01:24:57,426 --> 01:24:59,595
Well, like us.
You know, it's all the work.

1750
01:24:59,762 --> 01:25:01,764
Right, it is all the work.

1751
01:25:01,931 --> 01:25:04,725
And now that he's caught on,
lT'LL only get worse.

1752
01:25:04,892 --> 01:25:09,063
It started so simply, and now it's
become this whole, big production.

1753
01:25:09,230 --> 01:25:12,399
It's the HAYMAN and NEWELL circus
with the g chants

1754
01:25:12,566 --> 01:25:14,777
and the orchestras
and the announcers.

1755
01:25:14,944 --> 01:25:16,112
Kinda fun, huh?

1756
01:25:16,278 --> 01:25:17,780
Kitsch. Oh. Yeah?

1757
01:25:17,947 --> 01:25:20,950
Today, at the station, they were
pitching me things that go

1758
01:25:21,117 --> 01:25:23,119
way beyond the g t-shirts.

1759
01:25:23,285 --> 01:25:24,703
What did they show you?

1760
01:25:24,870 --> 01:25:29,333
They have got this cheese spread named
after him, called g whiz.

1761
01:25:29,500 --> 01:25:31,794
[Chuckling] What?
Is that terrible? Oh.

1762
01:25:31,961 --> 01:25:33,754
- You knew about this?
- I helped come up with it.

1763
01:25:33,921 --> 01:25:35,297
- I thought it was funny.
- Oh, Ricky.

1764
01:25:35,464 --> 01:25:36,757
What?

1765
01:25:36,924 --> 01:25:38,592
What about that wrapping
ribbon called the--

1766
01:25:38,759 --> 01:25:40,344
the g string.

1767
01:25:40,511 --> 01:25:42,346
[Snickering]

1768
01:25:42,513 --> 01:25:44,431
Look, I mean, who are
we hurting anyway?

1769
01:25:44,598 --> 01:25:48,144
You know, the people who are
getting this amazing message?

1770
01:25:48,310 --> 01:25:49,645
I don't think so.
You know.

1771
01:25:49,812 --> 01:25:51,313
Certainly-- are we hurting g?

1772
01:25:51,480 --> 01:25:54,316
You know, instead of getting stuff
tossed at him on some lonely highway,

1773
01:25:54,483 --> 01:25:57,570
he's reaching America,
he's reaching the country.

1774
01:25:57,736 --> 01:25:59,446
Who's losing out?
It's all good.

1775
01:25:59,613 --> 01:26:01,824
Yes, but we are making money
off of that image.

1776
01:26:01,991 --> 01:26:04,618
But--no--but so does every religion
that sells a crucifix

1777
01:26:04,785 --> 01:26:07,580
or a star of David or a stick
of incense is making money.

1778
01:26:07,746 --> 01:26:09,540
And, you know, everything
that we sell,

1779
01:26:09,707 --> 01:26:13,085
people are buying, I think,
'cause they feel closer to g.

1780
01:26:13,252 --> 01:26:16,505
And if they wear a g t-shirt,
people think, oh, you know,

1781
01:26:16,672 --> 01:26:19,049
what he's all about, what he's talking
about, and they become better people.

1782
01:26:19,216 --> 01:26:21,468
Don't you think so?
I think so.

1783
01:26:21,635 --> 01:26:24,180
- The difference is?
- What?

1784
01:26:24,346 --> 01:26:27,308
G would do this for free.

1785
01:26:30,519 --> 01:26:33,647
I think we should let him go.

1786
01:26:34,273 --> 01:26:35,566
What?

1787
01:26:35,733 --> 01:26:36,942
[Stammering]

1788
01:26:37,109 --> 01:26:38,527
I mean, he's not chained
in my basement, you know.

1789
01:26:38,694 --> 01:26:39,820
He's a free man.

1790
01:26:39,987 --> 01:26:43,991
- But what are you talking about?
- It's the right thing to do.

1791
01:26:47,036 --> 01:26:49,538
I've decided to take g prime time.

1792
01:26:49,705 --> 01:26:52,166
I'm gonna give him
his own half-hour show.

1793
01:26:52,333 --> 01:26:53,375
What's the matter?

1794
01:26:53,542 --> 01:26:55,169
Surely you don't think
this is a bad idea.

1795
01:26:55,336 --> 01:26:56,587
No, no.

1796
01:26:56,754 --> 01:26:58,547
He has the broadest appeal of any
on-air personality we've ever had.

1797
01:26:58,714 --> 01:27:00,424
Yeah, that's right,
that's right, but, uh--

1798
01:27:00,591 --> 01:27:03,594
and I love the idea of a new g show.
I was thinking the same thing.

1799
01:27:03,761 --> 01:27:04,970
This is so funny.

1800
01:27:05,137 --> 01:27:06,430
That's why I wanted to talk to you.
Listen to this.

1801
01:27:06,597 --> 01:27:10,267
I think it's a great idea. What if, uh,
we start a show--whatever time slot--

1802
01:27:10,434 --> 01:27:14,605
with g and other hosts?

1803
01:27:14,772 --> 01:27:15,981
Wait a minute.

1804
01:27:16,148 --> 01:27:19,318
An ensemble show, where g
doesn't have to, you know,

1805
01:27:19,485 --> 01:27:20,694
carry the whole thing.

1806
01:27:20,861 --> 01:27:21,946
We could even phase him out
at some point--

1807
01:27:22,112 --> 01:27:23,322
are you nuts?

1808
01:27:23,489 --> 01:27:26,742
He's the guy they're interested in.
I don't understand your hesitation.

1809
01:27:26,909 --> 01:27:29,745
Oh, wait a second. Wait.
I know.

1810
01:27:29,912 --> 01:27:31,747
Yeah. I know, and I understand.

1811
01:27:31,914 --> 01:27:33,332
Yeah!

1812
01:27:33,499 --> 01:27:38,420
You're upset because I promised I'd take
care of you if this took off and I haven't.

1813
01:27:38,587 --> 01:27:40,256
- Yet.
- Oh.

1814
01:27:40,422 --> 01:27:46,762
But if you launch this,
and if you make it work,

1815
01:27:46,929 --> 01:27:50,432
then everything you've wanted,

1816
01:27:50,599 --> 01:27:55,271
everything that you have ever dreamed
about will be yours--

1817
01:27:55,437 --> 01:27:58,732
an office next to mine,

1818
01:27:58,899 --> 01:28:05,864
a view of the studio, a car,
the perks, the bonuses--

1819
01:28:06,115 --> 01:28:10,452
everything will be yours.

1820
01:28:12,288 --> 01:28:15,666
- And Kate?
- To hell with Kate.

1821
01:28:15,833 --> 01:28:19,378
Do you wanna produce the show
or don't you?

1822
01:28:19,545 --> 01:28:22,298
Look, as far as I'm concerned,
Kate is indispensable.

1823
01:28:22,464 --> 01:28:25,301
We couldn't have gotten here
without Kate, and my deal

1824
01:28:25,467 --> 01:28:27,970
would have to be in place,
'cause, that's right,

1825
01:28:28,137 --> 01:28:30,139
you said the last show,
if I made that work--

1826
01:28:30,306 --> 01:28:35,227
I also said to get g signed up, and have
you done that, Mr. on-the-ball?

1827
01:28:35,394 --> 01:28:38,522
- Yeah, he's been here.
- I don't see any paper.

1828
01:28:38,689 --> 01:28:40,566
Oh, well, that's just
a matter of signing.

1829
01:28:40,733 --> 01:28:44,194
Why? He doesn't have a pen?
You get him signed up.

1830
01:28:45,863 --> 01:28:49,491
And then we'll talk your deal.

1831
01:28:54,955 --> 01:28:57,958
Whether you're a lover of jazz,
gospel, classic or rock,

1832
01:28:58,125 --> 01:29:01,337
you'll be able to select the kind
of sound that is going to fit

1833
01:29:01,503 --> 01:29:03,255
whatever kind of music you enjoy.

1834
01:29:03,422 --> 01:29:07,259
This is the stereo that really does
give you all kinds of features,

1835
01:29:07,426 --> 01:29:09,303
but it does it in a compact size.

1836
01:29:09,470 --> 01:29:12,514
So if it's gonna go on a bookshelf,
if it's gonna go--

1837
01:29:38,707 --> 01:29:41,585
[clears throat]
Am I bothering you?

1838
01:29:41,752 --> 01:29:44,880
No. How could you ever bother me?
I love talking to you.

1839
01:29:45,047 --> 01:29:47,383
That's what I wanted to do--
talk with you.

1840
01:29:47,549 --> 01:29:49,051
Ricky and I were thinking--

1841
01:29:49,218 --> 01:29:53,430
[phone ringing] Excuse me one second.
Hello?

1842
01:29:54,223 --> 01:29:56,850
Yes, Dr. Simon.

1843
01:29:57,518 --> 01:30:00,521
[Chuckles] So tell me, how long
before I can continue my journey?

1844
01:30:07,903 --> 01:30:09,405
How could it be chronic?

1845
01:30:09,571 --> 01:30:14,451
Uh, how can it be chronic?
Well, it's chronic because--

1846
01:30:14,618 --> 01:30:18,038
[whispering]

1847
01:30:18,205 --> 01:30:23,043
It's chronic because of the decrease
that we registered in your--

1848
01:30:29,842 --> 01:30:32,428
[coughing]
I'm sorry, I got--

1849
01:30:32,594 --> 01:30:35,222
I got a little phlegm there.
And--

1850
01:30:35,389 --> 01:30:41,520
[coughing] Yeah, the, um, the
decrease we registered in your "n--"

1851
01:30:41,687 --> 01:30:43,856
dolphins.
Endorphins!

1852
01:30:44,022 --> 01:30:45,899
I'm sorry, I couldn't read
my own writing.

1853
01:30:46,066 --> 01:30:48,610
You know, doctor's handwriting. Yes.

1854
01:30:48,777 --> 01:30:55,742
Uh, that number was sufficiently low,
so ass two--

1855
01:31:01,957 --> 01:31:08,922
as to demonstrate that
you have a poor heart.

1856
01:31:12,259 --> 01:31:19,224
At this time, I'm--I'm, uh--

1857
01:31:19,391 --> 01:31:21,810
I'm afraid, uh, that you,

1858
01:31:21,977 --> 01:31:23,937
uh, need to--

1859
01:31:32,988 --> 01:31:34,323
stay on the floor!

1860
01:31:34,490 --> 01:31:35,991
Uh, no, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

1861
01:31:36,158 --> 01:31:39,328
I was, uh, giving instructions
to my dog.

1862
01:31:39,495 --> 01:31:42,831
Yeah, I'm-I'm afraid that
this time you need to,

1863
01:31:42,998 --> 01:31:49,963
uh, stick around for several months,
or perhaps until the end of time.

1864
01:31:53,050 --> 01:31:54,301
[Toy squeaking]

1865
01:31:54,468 --> 01:31:56,178
Uh, just a little
doctor joke there, g.

1866
01:31:56,345 --> 01:31:57,846
[Squeaks]

1867
01:31:58,013 --> 01:31:59,431
[Chuckling]
Yeah.

1868
01:31:59,598 --> 01:32:01,350
No, I'm just calling to make sure
that you're okay.

1869
01:32:01,517 --> 01:32:05,229
Yeah, I know that
you're disappointed.

1870
01:32:05,395 --> 01:32:10,275
No, as soon as the heat breaks, I'll--
I'll call to make another appointment.

1871
01:32:10,943 --> 01:32:14,404
Yeah, I'm sorry. Thanks.
Bye-bye.

1872
01:32:14,571 --> 01:32:16,573
[Sighing]

1873
01:32:16,740 --> 01:32:18,408
[Sighing]
Did he buy that?

1874
01:32:18,575 --> 01:32:20,494
I think so

1875
01:32:20,661 --> 01:32:24,289
he sounded awfully sad, though.

1876
01:32:24,456 --> 01:32:26,375
He did?

1877
01:32:26,542 --> 01:32:29,378
Okay, now I can get him
to sign the contract.

1878
01:32:30,045 --> 01:32:32,673
Oh my God.
Kate! Kate!

1879
01:32:32,839 --> 01:32:34,216
What, what, what, what?

1880
01:32:34,383 --> 01:32:35,717
No, what?
Where are you going?

1881
01:32:35,884 --> 01:32:38,303
Ricky, how? G trusted you.
I trusted you.

1882
01:32:38,470 --> 01:32:39,846
You can trust me.
Oh, please!

1883
01:32:40,013 --> 01:32:42,849
Okay, honey, that was wrong.
That was wrong.

1884
01:32:43,016 --> 01:32:44,101
Listen, sweetie,
don't be upset with me.

1885
01:32:44,268 --> 01:32:45,561
I need--need more time.

1886
01:32:45,727 --> 01:32:48,105
But don't be upset, not when
everything's goin' good for us.

1887
01:32:48,272 --> 01:32:49,231
Going good?

1888
01:32:49,398 --> 01:32:50,691
I just watched you lie to our friend.

1889
01:32:50,857 --> 01:32:51,817
No, but that was isolated.

1890
01:32:51,984 --> 01:32:53,235
I didn't wanna do it.
I'll tell you all about it.

1891
01:32:53,402 --> 01:32:54,570
I had a meeting with
MCBAINBRIDGE this morning.

1892
01:32:54,736 --> 01:32:57,739
I had this idea, which I alluded to last
night, about phasing him out eventually,

1893
01:32:57,906 --> 01:33:00,033
but he said my job depends on
getting him to sign this contract.

1894
01:33:00,200 --> 01:33:02,995
Oh, so all's fair, never mind what's
good or right for anybody else.

1895
01:33:03,161 --> 01:33:04,496
No, no, I think you're being irrational.

1896
01:33:04,663 --> 01:33:06,248
Trying to persuade me I'm stupid is
not a good way to win the argument.

1897
01:33:06,415 --> 01:33:07,457
Okay, okay.

1898
01:33:07,624 --> 01:33:09,418
Just tell me what you want me to do
to make it right. Please.

1899
01:33:09,585 --> 01:33:12,004
Okay.
Okay.

1900
01:33:14,423 --> 01:33:15,591
No, Kate.

1901
01:33:15,757 --> 01:33:18,093
John, I wanted to talk to you
about Ricky's contract.

1902
01:33:18,260 --> 01:33:19,928
Speaking of contracts,
is it settled?

1903
01:33:20,095 --> 01:33:23,223
Is what settled?
I'm putting g on prime time.

1904
01:33:23,390 --> 01:33:24,433
His own show.

1905
01:33:24,600 --> 01:33:27,269
HAYMAN's gonna produce,
if he doesn't screw up.

1906
01:33:27,436 --> 01:33:28,937
Oh, he won't screw up.

1907
01:33:29,104 --> 01:33:31,273
Ricky's a go-to,
game-on-the-line guy.

1908
01:33:31,440 --> 01:33:33,400
In fact, that's what I wanted
to talk to you about, John.

1909
01:33:33,567 --> 01:33:35,485
I wanted to recommend that you
renew Ricky's contract.

1910
01:33:35,652 --> 01:33:37,487
I think the two of you make
an excellent team.

1911
01:33:37,654 --> 01:33:39,114
What the hell is that
supposed to mean?

1912
01:33:39,281 --> 01:33:41,116
You two are cut from the same cloth.
Anything for a buck.

1913
01:33:41,283 --> 01:33:42,492
Destroying g--

1914
01:33:42,659 --> 01:33:43,660
hold it a second!

1915
01:33:43,827 --> 01:33:45,787
If I recall, you're the one
who talked me into using g

1916
01:33:45,954 --> 01:33:47,748
with your 30% rise in calls.

1917
01:33:47,914 --> 01:33:49,791
Well, I was wrong.
I wish I never had.

1918
01:33:49,958 --> 01:33:53,003
Well, if you don't like it, fine!
Now you've said your peace.

1919
01:33:53,170 --> 01:33:55,130
But it's not your network.
It's my network.

1920
01:33:55,297 --> 01:33:57,799
And nobody tells me
how to run my network.

1921
01:33:57,966 --> 01:33:59,259
I created you.

1922
01:33:59,426 --> 01:34:01,595
You walk when I tell you to walk.
You run when I tell you to run.

1923
01:34:01,762 --> 01:34:05,474
And you sell what I tell you to sell!

1924
01:34:06,308 --> 01:34:08,769
I will not sell my soul.

1925
01:34:12,272 --> 01:34:14,858
Kate, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

1926
01:34:15,025 --> 01:34:16,234
[Phone ringing]

1927
01:34:16,401 --> 01:34:17,944
Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate!

1928
01:34:18,111 --> 01:34:19,529
I just can't believe I was right
about you after all.

1929
01:34:19,696 --> 01:34:22,199
I never wanted to be wrong
so much in my life.

1930
01:34:36,088 --> 01:34:39,299
- Ricky HAYMAN?
- Yeah.

1931
01:34:43,929 --> 01:34:48,809
[Phone beeps, dialing]

1932
01:34:48,975 --> 01:34:52,521
[Ringing]

1933
01:34:52,688 --> 01:34:54,356
- Hello?
- Kate, hi, it's Ricky.

1934
01:34:54,523 --> 01:34:57,150
[Clicks]
Hello?

1935
01:35:05,867 --> 01:35:07,160
[G]
A contract?

1936
01:35:07,327 --> 01:35:11,373
Yeah, it's, uh, it's for six months
with provisions for extending it

1937
01:35:11,540 --> 01:35:16,795
if things are going well, and you're
gonna be paid very well, of course.

1938
01:35:16,962 --> 01:35:18,880
But, you know, you can put some
aside for your future,

1939
01:35:19,047 --> 01:35:22,676
or--or, uh, give it to a charity.

1940
01:35:25,554 --> 01:35:28,306
Is this what you want?

1941
01:35:28,473 --> 01:35:33,186
Because if this is what you want,
all you have to do is ask and I'll do it.

1942
01:35:47,409 --> 01:35:50,704
[Sighing]
Yeah. Would you sign?

1943
01:36:01,298 --> 01:36:11,266
Nu'

1944
01:36:12,976 --> 01:36:17,105
well, Mr. HAYMAN, what have we here?

1945
01:36:17,272 --> 01:36:19,065
Ah, is this what I think it is?

1946
01:36:19,232 --> 01:36:22,444
Well, I'll be dipped in shit.
You have done it, my boy.

1947
01:36:22,611 --> 01:36:23,945
I can't believe it!

1948
01:36:24,112 --> 01:36:25,280
[Laughing]

1949
01:36:25,447 --> 01:36:28,241
J' I like spaghetti I love
meatballs viva LA compagnie j'

1950
01:36:28,408 --> 01:36:30,243
[laughing]

1951
01:36:30,410 --> 01:36:32,204
Proud of you, proud of you!
Come on.

1952
01:36:32,370 --> 01:36:34,498
Let me Usher you to your new digs.

1953
01:36:34,664 --> 01:36:37,626
Follow me, follow me.

1954
01:36:39,211 --> 01:36:50,472
Nu'

1955
01:36:50,639 --> 01:36:54,643
well, here you are, HAYMAN.
The command module.

1956
01:36:54,810 --> 01:36:56,645
All systems go.

1957
01:36:56,812 --> 01:36:58,647
[Chuckles]

1958
01:36:58,814 --> 01:37:04,694
And I want you to screw your courage
to the sticking post and blast off!

1959
01:37:04,861 --> 01:37:07,405
[Chuckles] Proud of you, my boy.
Proud of you.

1960
01:37:07,572 --> 01:37:11,701
J' I like spaghetti I love
meatballs viva LA compagnie j'

1961
01:37:11,868 --> 01:37:13,328
[laughing]

1962
01:37:13,495 --> 01:37:16,957
J' viva LA, viva LA viva l'amore j'

1963
01:37:17,123 --> 01:37:20,210
j' viva l'amore viva l'amore j' j'

1964
01:37:21,127 --> 01:37:33,890
nu'

1965
01:37:34,057 --> 01:37:36,351
- hello?
- Please don't hang--

1966
01:37:41,439 --> 01:37:43,775
I just want you to know that g's in
the studio and we're almost ready,

1967
01:37:43,942 --> 01:37:45,861
so you should get down
to the control booth.

1968
01:37:46,027 --> 01:37:48,655
Okay, be there in a sec.

1969
01:37:49,322 --> 01:37:52,325
- Okay.
- Thank you.

1970
01:38:05,046 --> 01:38:06,715
Here we go.
Camera one, you are wide shot.

1971
01:38:06,882 --> 01:38:08,466
Camera two, you're tight on g.

1972
01:38:08,633 --> 01:38:10,552
Camera three, you are
roaming on product.

1973
01:38:10,719 --> 01:38:12,220
Camera four, you're ready.
Stand by.

1974
01:38:12,387 --> 01:38:13,889
Camera three, are you ready?

1975
01:38:14,055 --> 01:38:16,850
Come on. Back it up. G's ready.
He's out of makeup.

1976
01:38:17,475 --> 01:38:32,449
Nu'

1977
01:38:38,705 --> 01:38:41,583
- oh, there you are.
- Here I am.

1978
01:38:41,750 --> 01:38:43,460
- Ready?
- Very much so.

1979
01:38:43,627 --> 01:38:44,711
Okay.

1980
01:38:44,878 --> 01:38:46,087
[Man]
One minute!

1981
01:38:46,254 --> 01:38:47,213
Show time.

1982
01:38:47,380 --> 01:38:48,423
Yeah--

1983
01:38:48,590 --> 01:38:53,428
wait, wait.
Uh, you know what?

1984
01:38:53,595 --> 01:38:55,805
Don't do it.
Don't--don't do the show.

1985
01:38:55,972 --> 01:39:00,602
Don't do the show.
Leave the studio right now.

1986
01:39:00,769 --> 01:39:03,146
- Continue your journey.
- What?

1987
01:39:03,313 --> 01:39:05,774
Yeah. You know, it's not you.

1988
01:39:05,941 --> 01:39:08,860
The show's--if you do it,
you're gonna be big, big.

1989
01:39:09,027 --> 01:39:11,154
Everybody's gonna be
crazy about you, but, uh--

1990
01:39:11,321 --> 01:39:13,865
just go and--

1991
01:39:14,449 --> 01:39:15,825
[sighing] You had a call two
days ago from Dr. Simon...

1992
01:39:15,992 --> 01:39:18,370
That was Barry pretending
to be Dr. Simon.

1993
01:39:18,536 --> 01:39:22,415
I put him up to it,
and your heart is fine.

1994
01:39:23,833 --> 01:39:25,961
- What?
- I know my heart's fine.

1995
01:39:26,127 --> 01:39:29,172
So is yours, Ricky.
So is yours.

1996
01:39:32,092 --> 01:39:33,802
What do you mean?
You knew?

1997
01:39:33,969 --> 01:39:36,554
Oh, yes, I've known all along.

1998
01:39:37,514 --> 01:39:39,975
Well, so why'd you stay?

1999
01:39:40,141 --> 01:39:43,269
I stayed 'cause I wanted to help you,
and because I like you.

2000
01:39:43,436 --> 01:39:45,855
But most of all,
you really make me laugh.

2001
01:39:46,022 --> 01:39:48,108
You're a very funny man.

2002
01:39:50,443 --> 01:39:53,113
Yeah, well, I've gotten--
I've gotten

2003
01:39:53,279 --> 01:39:56,282
so that I don't wanna strangle you
so much as I used to.

2004
01:39:56,449 --> 01:39:58,827
But--but, uh--you know, really,

2005
01:39:58,994 --> 01:40:02,330
take off, 'cause, you know,
I'm gonna, you know--

2006
01:40:02,497 --> 01:40:06,042
I don't wanna change my mind,
you know--

2007
01:40:08,878 --> 01:40:11,589
beautiful man, Ricky.

2008
01:40:13,258 --> 01:40:16,011
I'm a dead man.

2009
01:40:19,180 --> 01:40:22,642
All right.

2010
01:40:31,943 --> 01:40:35,280
<i>[Choir]
J' g, g, g, g j'</i>

2011
01:40:35,447 --> 01:40:38,033
j'g,g,g,e-mm

2012
01:40:38,199 --> 01:40:41,411
- and cue announcer.
- It's the g spot!

2013
01:40:41,578 --> 01:40:44,372
Philosophy, a higher state
of consciousness

2014
01:40:44,539 --> 01:40:47,250
and non-stop shopping!

2015
01:40:47,417 --> 01:40:51,421
- Here's g!
- Fade up, camera one. Cue g.

2016
01:40:51,588 --> 01:40:54,716
[Applause]

2017
01:40:54,883 --> 01:40:59,429
[Chanting]
G! G! G! G!

2018
01:41:03,016 --> 01:41:04,893
He's always full of surprises.

2019
01:41:05,060 --> 01:41:08,313
Surprise, surprise, surprise.
Hang in there, guys.

2020
01:41:11,733 --> 01:41:13,651
Hi, I'm Ricky HAYMAN.

2021
01:41:13,818 --> 01:41:17,072
[Scattered applause]

2022
01:41:20,700 --> 01:41:21,993
What is he doing?

2023
01:41:22,160 --> 01:41:27,207
Thank you.
And g, um, is my friend.

2024
01:41:27,373 --> 01:41:30,752
And he's a special fellow.

2025
01:41:30,919 --> 01:41:32,796
[Applause]

2026
01:41:32,962 --> 01:41:34,464
<i>- I know--
- yeah, I know you guys know that.</i>

2027
01:41:34,631 --> 01:41:35,799
That's why you're here
or why you're watching.

2028
01:41:35,965 --> 01:41:40,762
But that's also the reason that, um,
I couldn't let him do this tonight.

2029
01:41:40,929 --> 01:41:45,433
So--yeah. I'm here to apologize
to you and to our viewers

2030
01:41:45,600 --> 01:41:48,144
'cause g agreed to continue doin' this
show if I asked him to,

2031
01:41:48,311 --> 01:41:51,773
but I had to, uh, let him go.

2032
01:41:51,940 --> 01:41:53,858
[Together]
Let him go?

2033
01:41:54,025 --> 01:41:55,485
[All chattering]

2034
01:41:55,652 --> 01:42:02,283
Because I knew that he
would be happier in his heart

2035
01:42:02,450 --> 01:42:06,663
if he continued on his journey.

2036
01:42:06,830 --> 01:42:09,332
And it wouldn't have been right of me
to keep him here.

2037
01:42:09,499 --> 01:42:11,960
I mean, you don't know me, but this lS--
for once in my life,

2038
01:42:12,127 --> 01:42:15,338
I wanted to do the right--
the right thing.

2039
01:42:15,505 --> 01:42:18,049
I mean, he doesn't care about
worldwide audiences, certainly,

2040
01:42:18,216 --> 01:42:21,427
or fame or money, for that matter,
that's me.

2041
01:42:22,053 --> 01:42:23,596
[Ricky]
I'm, I'm guilty--

2042
01:42:23,763 --> 01:42:26,850
get me security!
I want HAYMAN out of here! Now!

2043
01:42:27,016 --> 01:42:30,186
All g cares about is
for us to see life

2044
01:42:30,353 --> 01:42:32,105
[ringing]

2045
01:42:32,272 --> 01:42:33,690
As the gift that it is.

2046
01:42:33,857 --> 01:42:35,817
Kill this!
Yank that son of a bitch!

2047
01:42:35,984 --> 01:42:37,485
[Applause]

2048
01:42:37,652 --> 01:42:39,195
Okay. Sure.
What would you like me to go to?

2049
01:42:39,362 --> 01:42:40,488
Anything!

2050
01:42:40,655 --> 01:42:42,490
Okay, sure.
Let me find--

2051
01:42:42,657 --> 01:42:46,411
oh, for Christ's sake.
I'll do it myself, ass-holes!

2052
01:42:47,203 --> 01:42:48,830
Real, real hard.

2053
01:42:48,997 --> 01:42:50,665
Of course, I'm not g.

2054
01:42:50,832 --> 01:42:57,797
I'm just a, a regular, a regular type,
but, um, I think I'm finally gettin' it.

2055
01:43:00,717 --> 01:43:07,599
That you never feel
more whole and right

2056
01:43:07,765 --> 01:43:11,853
than when you love
another person

2057
01:43:12,020 --> 01:43:15,440
and when you know that that
other person loves you back.

2058
01:43:16,232 --> 01:43:19,068
And I had that.

2059
01:43:19,235 --> 01:43:23,990
But I might have messed it up just a--
just a little bit ago.

2060
01:43:25,325 --> 01:43:31,164
Her name's Kate, and, uh,
she made me wanna do better--

2061
01:43:32,790 --> 01:43:36,252
to do what was right.

2062
01:43:36,419 --> 01:43:37,962
And I didn't listen.

2063
01:43:38,129 --> 01:43:44,302
And I'm real, real sorry
that I didn't do this before.

2064
01:43:47,138 --> 01:43:49,015
[Sighing] Not that doin' the
right thing hasn't cost me.

2065
01:43:49,182 --> 01:43:52,060
You know, I've lost my job.

2066
01:43:52,227 --> 01:43:54,062
[Sympathetic murmurs]
Yeah, the--

2067
01:43:54,229 --> 01:43:56,439
[TV clicks off]

2068
01:44:02,445 --> 01:44:06,407
The second g was out,
so was I, but, um--

2069
01:44:06,574 --> 01:44:09,577
you know--hey!

2070
01:44:09,744 --> 01:44:11,412
Look, look who's there.
You know who that is?

2071
01:44:11,579 --> 01:44:12,747
That's, uh, Mr. MCBAINBRIDGE.

2072
01:44:12,914 --> 01:44:14,207
Can you get a shot
of Mr. MCBAINBRIDGE?

2073
01:44:14,374 --> 01:44:15,416
Turn around.

2074
01:44:15,583 --> 01:44:16,918
Will, can you please get
a shot of Mr. MCBAINBRIDGE?

2075
01:44:17,085 --> 01:44:18,378
This is my boss,
or my ex-boss.

2076
01:44:18,544 --> 01:44:19,921
[Audience booing]

2077
01:44:20,088 --> 01:44:23,091
No, no, no. No, no,
wait a second.

2078
01:44:23,258 --> 01:44:24,425
Wait a second.

2079
01:44:24,592 --> 01:44:26,761
No, no, no, don't boo.
Don't boo. He's not evil.

2080
01:44:26,928 --> 01:44:29,430
He's just, uh, alone, I think.

2081
01:44:29,597 --> 01:44:33,142
You know what he needs lS--
[Stammering] A hug.

2082
01:44:33,309 --> 01:44:35,144
If you see this guy on the street,
give him a hug.

2083
01:44:35,311 --> 01:44:36,646
Or, no, better yet, give him a kiss.

2084
01:44:36,813 --> 01:44:38,773
Give him a big kiss on the cheek.

2085
01:44:38,940 --> 01:44:40,108
[Applauding, laughing]

2086
01:44:40,275 --> 01:44:41,609
lT'LL help him.

2087
01:44:41,776 --> 01:44:42,944
[Laughing]

2088
01:44:43,111 --> 01:44:45,780
Don't fight him, Mr. MCBAINBRIDGE.
Ah, they're fighting like two bears.

2089
01:44:45,947 --> 01:44:48,449
Mr. MCBAINBRIDGE.
Mr. MCBAINBRIDGE.

2090
01:44:48,616 --> 01:44:50,451
We love you, Mr. MCBAINBRIDGE. Yes.

2091
01:44:50,618 --> 01:44:53,121
Oh, I like you too.
You too.

2092
01:44:53,288 --> 01:44:57,041
You too.
What?

2093
01:44:57,208 --> 01:44:59,168
[Ricky]
Say it. You're on TV. Say.

2094
01:44:59,335 --> 01:45:00,753
[Phone ringing]

2095
01:45:00,920 --> 01:45:02,046
Barry, there's a call for Ricky.

2096
01:45:02,213 --> 01:45:06,050
[Chuckling] Put it through to the floor.
Ricky, you've got a phone call.

2097
01:45:06,217 --> 01:45:08,428
I do?

2098
01:45:08,594 --> 01:45:10,179
Should I take a call? I--

2099
01:45:10,346 --> 01:45:12,307
[audience]
Yes!

2100
01:45:12,473 --> 01:45:13,850
Okay. Hello.

2101
01:45:14,017 --> 01:45:15,310
[Kate]
This isn't fair.

2102
01:45:15,476 --> 01:45:17,061
I should have my own show
to answer you on.

2103
01:45:17,228 --> 01:45:18,980
- Kate?
- It's Kate!

2104
01:45:19,147 --> 01:45:20,481
[Cheering]
Yeah!

2105
01:45:20,648 --> 01:45:24,485
It's Kate.
That's nice.

2106
01:45:24,652 --> 01:45:28,406
You've been so public about your feelings.
I wish I could do the same.

2107
01:45:28,573 --> 01:45:30,700
Well, maybe QVC'll give you a show.
Where are you?

2108
01:45:30,867 --> 01:45:33,161
I'm in the car racing to get to you.
I would have called--

2109
01:45:33,328 --> 01:45:35,121
[static]

2110
01:45:35,288 --> 01:45:36,789
We lost her. Hello?
Hello?

2111
01:45:36,956 --> 01:45:38,291
Hi, hi, there you are.
Where are you now?

2112
01:45:38,458 --> 01:45:40,168
I'm so close. I'm at the studio.
I'll see you at the front.

2113
01:45:40,335 --> 01:45:42,462
I'll see you at the front door.

2114
01:45:42,628 --> 01:45:43,838
[Applause]

2115
01:45:44,005 --> 01:45:45,131
What do I do?

2116
01:45:45,298 --> 01:45:46,716
- What do we do? I don't know.
- Stay with him. Stay with him.

2117
01:45:46,883 --> 01:45:49,093
I'm on it.

2118
01:45:51,387 --> 01:45:53,681
Brutus, brutus, you're missing
all the good stuff, brutus.

2119
01:45:53,848 --> 01:45:56,559
Move it, move it!

2120
01:45:58,019 --> 01:46:00,396
Kate!

2121
01:46:01,981 --> 01:46:04,067
[Cheering]

2122
01:46:06,277 --> 01:46:08,404
[Crying]

2123
01:46:08,571 --> 01:46:11,032
They're so sweet together.
Yeah.

2124
01:46:11,199 --> 01:46:13,993
Yeah, okay. Now move around.

2125
01:46:14,702 --> 01:46:17,455
Move to the left. Move to the left.
Come around. Come around left.

2126
01:46:17,622 --> 01:46:21,125
Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful. Oh, that's
great. That's great, guys.

2127
01:46:21,292 --> 01:46:24,504
Oh, this is great stuff.
This is great stuff.

2128
01:46:24,670 --> 01:46:26,881
[Chuckling]
Come here.

2129
01:46:27,048 --> 01:46:28,257
[Barry]
Oh, they're taking off.

2130
01:46:28,424 --> 01:46:30,051
Go with them again.
Follow them again.

2131
01:46:30,218 --> 01:46:31,844
Keep goin', keep goin'.
Oh, that's beautiful.

2132
01:46:32,011 --> 01:46:34,555
Stay with them.
Don't do that!

2133
01:46:34,722 --> 01:46:37,517
Way to go, Ricky.
Way to go.

2134
01:46:38,142 --> 01:46:39,477
I'm sorry.
It doesn't matter.

2135
01:46:39,644 --> 01:46:41,270
I'm so sorry.
It doesn't matter.

2136
01:46:41,437 --> 01:46:44,273
I love you.

2137
01:46:44,440 --> 01:46:46,984
[Whispering]
I love you, Kate.

2138
01:46:59,747 --> 01:47:02,500
[Kate]
Good-byes are so sad.

2139
01:47:02,667 --> 01:47:06,045
Yes, some good-byes are very sad.

2140
01:47:06,212 --> 01:47:08,798
And other good-byes are like,
"hallelujah, that pajama-wearing,

2141
01:47:08,965 --> 01:47:13,344
urine-sipping, floor-sleeping freak
has left my house forever."

2142
01:47:13,511 --> 01:47:15,805
[Laughing] That really
was herbal tea, right?

2143
01:47:15,972 --> 01:47:17,306
I don't know, Robert.

2144
01:47:17,473 --> 01:47:19,100
[Laughing]

2145
01:47:19,267 --> 01:47:20,768
Maybe you'll come back.

2146
01:47:20,935 --> 01:47:23,938
You know, winters are
really great down here.

2147
01:47:25,606 --> 01:47:28,985
We're gonna be together whenever
we think about each other.

2148
01:47:29,152 --> 01:47:32,071
For me, I promise
that'll be every night.

2149
01:47:32,905 --> 01:47:34,699
Good-byes are sad.
Especially this good-bye.

2150
01:47:34,866 --> 01:47:37,660
I really don't wanna say good-bye.
Uh-uh.

2151
01:47:40,455 --> 01:47:43,666
Kate.

2152
01:47:54,093 --> 01:47:57,096
Robert Ricky.

2153
01:48:01,642 --> 01:48:05,771
Your good is better.
Your better is blessed.

2154
01:48:07,607 --> 01:48:57,031
Nu'

2155
01:48:57,198 --> 01:49:00,451
j' ee-ee j'

2156
01:49:01,702 --> 01:49:05,289
j' everybody's got a thing j'

2157
01:49:05,456 --> 01:49:09,585
j' but some don't know
how to handle it j'

2158
01:49:09,752 --> 01:49:13,089
j' always reachin' out in vain j'

2159
01:49:13,256 --> 01:49:17,718
j' just taking the things
not worth having j'

2160
01:49:17,885 --> 01:49:21,556
j' but don't you worry 'bout a thing j'

2161
01:49:21,722 --> 01:49:26,143
j' don't you worry
'bout a thing, mama j'

2162
01:49:26,310 --> 01:49:29,063
j' 'cause I'll be standing
on the side j'

2163
01:49:29,230 --> 01:49:34,318
j' when you check it out j'

2164
01:49:34,485 --> 01:49:38,114
j' you say your style of life's
a drag j'

2165
01:49:38,281 --> 01:49:41,909
j' and that you must go other places j'

2166
01:49:42,076 --> 01:49:45,705
j' but just don't you feel too bad j'

2167
01:49:45,871 --> 01:49:50,251
j' when you get fooled
by smiling faces j'

2168
01:49:50,418 --> 01:49:53,671
j' but don't you worry 'bout a thing j'

2169
01:49:54,505 --> 01:49:58,342
j' don't you worry
'bout a thing, mama j'

2170
01:49:58,509 --> 01:50:02,597
j' 'cause I'll be standing on the side
when you check it j'

2171
01:50:02,763 --> 01:50:09,145
j'out j'

2172
01:50:10,271 --> 01:50:15,943
j' when you get off j'

2173
01:50:16,110 --> 01:50:18,029
j' your trip don't you worry j'

2174
01:50:18,195 --> 01:50:24,744
j' 'bout a thing j'

2175
01:50:24,910 --> 01:50:31,876
j' don't you worry 'bout a thing j'

2176
01:50:32,918 --> 01:50:37,298
j' yeah, everybody needs a change j'

2177
01:50:37,465 --> 01:50:41,093
j' a chance to check out the new j'

2178
01:50:41,260 --> 01:50:44,972
j' but you're the only one
who's seen j'

2179
01:50:45,139 --> 01:50:49,644
j' the changes you take
yourself through j'

2180
01:50:49,810 --> 01:50:53,481
j' but don't you worry 'bout a thing j'

2181
01:50:53,648 --> 01:50:57,985
j' don't you worry 'bout a thing,
pretty mama j'

2182
01:50:58,152 --> 01:51:03,658
j' 'cause I'll be standing in the wings
when you check it out j'

2183
01:51:03,824 --> 01:51:05,409
j'oh j'

2184
01:51:05,576 --> 01:51:11,791
j' don't you worry 'bout a thing j'

2185
01:51:13,084 --> 01:51:19,548
j' don't you worry 'bout a thing j'

2186
01:51:21,008 --> 01:51:27,431
j' don't you worry 'bout a thing j'

2187
01:51:28,516 --> 01:51:35,481
j' don't you worry 'bout a thing j'

2188
01:51:35,690 --> 01:51:37,692
j' yeah j'

2189
01:51:38,943 --> 01:51:45,533
nu'

2190
01:51:45,700 --> 01:51:47,827
j' yeah, 'bout a thing, baby j'

2191
01:51:47,993 --> 01:51:51,372
j' don't you worry 'bout a thing j'

2192
01:51:51,539 --> 01:51:55,042
j' don't you worry
'bout a thing, sugar j'

2193
01:51:55,209 --> 01:51:58,963
j' don't you worry
'bout a thing, mama j'

2194
01:51:59,130 --> 01:52:02,967
j' don't you worry 'bout a thing j' j'

2195
01:52:03,926 --> 01:52:06,887
nu'