["Exposed" by Kirsten Collins]
- [Woman] I feel like, can't go on no more.
Love is slow when you need it the most.
♪ What is love ♪
♪ You don't know love for yourself ♪
[computer chiming]
♪ I built these walls ♪
♪ To try and keep you out ♪
♪ But now, I'm stripping to the core ♪
♪ Throw my clothes on the floor ♪
♪ Oh, my body's full of wounds ♪
♪ That I'm showing to you ♪
♪ All I have left are these scars ♪
♪ I feel so exposed right now ♪
♪ All these chills are bulging now ♪
♪ I feel so exposed right now ♪
[classical music] - I hope you like classical.
I work better with music.
- Please.
Please.
I can't.
I can't do this.
- [Mel] Natalie, Natalie.
I'm doing this for you.
It'll be like swallowing a vitamin.
- I'll do anything else.
I've done everything you've asked.
Please. Please!
I can't do this.
I'll do anything else.
- But my viewers want this.
Just a few thousand shy of a 100k.
That's a lot of viewers for a vlog.
You should be so proud.
So beautiful.
So loved.
[Natalie panting]
- No.
No.
- It's okay.
It's okay. - No!
No!
- Oh, it's okay.
It's okay.
Swallow.
Just swallow.
[Natalie panting] Just swallow.
Oh!
Just-- - No, no.
- There you go.
Natalie, I'm doing this for you.
Look how much I've done for you.
Your numbers are the best yet.
I told you we have to escalate to keep it vlog worthy.
- Hey, guys, it's your girl Des coming back at you
with another vlog, so get excited.
Say good morning, Goblin.
Goblin?
Okay, I guess he's mad at me.
Oh, what do you guys think of my new sheets?
I wanna thank all you guys that helped me pick out a color.
I seriously could not have done it without you.
What else?
Oh, so last time I posted,
I told you that I was working on something new
for my costume jewelry line.
And I'm about to show you what it is.
So cute, right?
And you can pick whatever charm you like.
I picked a pineapple because it reminds me
of my first acting role ever in, like, the third grade.
So, yeah, I picked that little guy.
Okay, so, what I want you guys to do right now
is click the link below my video, go to my site,
pick out your favorite piece for you
or your special someone and charm them.
I'm sorry, that was so corny.
- Des, I got the coffee. - Um, what else?
Anything else, Goblin?
Anything you'd like to say to your fans?
- Oh! - No?
- [Dave] No wonder why you didn't answer--
- Okay, then. - 'Cause you're on the phone.
Gimme that. - Oh, God, no.
- [Dave] No, uh-uh.
Uh-uh, no, no, no. - Oh, my God, are you serious?
- [Dave] Mm-hm.
- David, give me my phone.
- [Dave] No.
- [Des] Please?
- No.
I have something that's gonna help your views, okay?
- What? - This.
Des! - Okay.
Thank you!
Hi, I'm back.
So you gonna help me vlog today or what?
I'm just gonna use this thing for, like, five more minutes
and then we can go.
- Do you ever stop?!
[Dave sighs loudly]
Vlog exclusive.
Big time jewelry designer working on her latest orders.
And remember, when designing jewelry,
always make sure to have a back scratcher on hand.
- Babe! - It's required.
Oh, no, she's gonna get me with her jewelry tool!
- Dave! Stop!
- [Dave] Sexy.
I like it!
[Des chuckles]
- [Des] Look at my little man modeling my jewelry.
My little mush face. [phone buzzing]
It's my agent.
- Well, shit. Answer it!
- So, what did they say?
I thought I really kicked that callback's ass.
- [Agent] You're too funny.
You know what, I guess they did too.
- What? Really?
- [Agent] Come on!
Don't be so surprised.
You know you were perfect for the part.
But hey, everyone is super, super excited
to have you on board.
They just want you to do some chem reads
with a couple of the guys.
So you're free this week, right?
- Um, yeah, yeah, of course.
Super, super free.
Thank you.
- [Agent] Great.
I'll send you the details.
But seriously though, great, great job on this one, Diana.
This is the first of many bookings to come.
I can promise you that.
- [Des] Wait.
Who's Diana?
- [Agent] Shit.
Um, hold on, you know what...
Marty, who did you call?
Okay, um, listen.
This is my fault, so don't even worry about it.
- So...
- [Agent] Des, right?
Jim is still sending you out, then?
- Yeah.
He is.
- [Agent] Okay.
Listen, sorry about that again.
- It's okay, all right?
I'll write you in one of my scripts.
- [Des] Your scripts are all weird
sci-fi monster things killing each other.
- Monsters can fall in love too.
We can call it a mon-com.
Monster romantic comedy is what I was going for.
Hey.
I'm sorry about the stupid audition.
I still think you're funny.
- Just don't.
Oh, God.
[sighs]
Hey, guys.
So I didn't get the audition,
but it's okay because tomorrow is a new day.
[static crackles]
Hey, guys.
It's me again being all basic with my pumpkin spiced latte.
It's not a pina colada, but cheers, I guess.
- Pumpkin spiced, nice choice.
Have you ever had it with almond milk?
Kinda like a bliss bomb exploded in your mouth.
Are you okay, can I get you anything?
I don't actually work here.
I'm sorry, that was weird.
Uh, I was just helping out Greg, the owner.
But you look like you're busy on your phone so I'll--
- Yup. Vlogging.
Just like every other 20-something.
- [Mel] I love vlogs.
Mind if I join you?
- Uh.
Hey, guys, I'm here with Mel, promoter of House Coffee,
and she's gonna tell us a little bit about herself.
- I'm a little camera shy these days.
Behind the scenes is more my thing.
- Oh, it's totally fine, it's super fun.
And if you mess up, I'll just edit it out.
I'll just edit around it.
- Okay.
Well, I don't work here specifically.
I freelance.
I have a background in digital marketing
and social media PR.
But I dabble in helping coffee shops like this, you know,
gain promotion and, um, and by the way,
they have the best house-made lavender syrup,
so stop what you're doing and come right down.
And please follow House Coffee on Instagram.
- Yeah, guys. Follow them.
Oh, sorry, go ahead.
- My passion, I guess you could say,
or what I wanted to do with my degree
was to be that go-to person
that gets brands to explode online
and help people become more vlog worthy,
I guess you could say.
- Really?
- You're really comfortable in front of a camera.
It's brave of you to let people
into your life like that, you know?
It takes a certain type.
- I enjoy it.
I really do.
- I could help you, you know?
If that's what you wanted, but you don't really need it.
- Um, yeah, I think I'm okay.
I'm up to 10,000 followers.
And I love 'em all.
- Impressive.
Well, if you're thinking of getting serious
and growing your brand, don't be shy.
You'd be surprised how much work
the top vloggers put in to generating their followings.
And here's my card.
Take a look at my website if you want.
If not, it's okay.
I hope we talk soon.
- Thank you, you're so nice.
Oh, my God, guys.
- [Mel] It's a nice house.
- Oh, thank you.
My grandma left it to my parents.
They'll never leave Wisconsin, so here I am.
- That's a whole lot of cameras.
- [Mel] Gives options.
I hate watching stiff vloggers.
- Thank you so much for doing this.
- [Mel] My pleasure.
So much easier to get some fame nowadays,
why not go out and grab it?
- I can think of a few reasons.
- [Mel] I'm starting to get the sense
that you're not into this.
- I'm a big fan of the girl in question,
but this, no, not this.
- Well, she's a big fan of you, babe.
I appreciate you doing this.
- [Mel] It'll be painless.
I promise.
Audiences love couple stuff,
even that goofy one you posted the other day...
How about some wine?
- Um, so I don't really drink anymore.
It's kind of a long story. - House is dry.
- [Mel] No worries.
And no wine is fine.
- Mel, you sure you never took any
of the Stage 32 writers' workshops?
- [Mel] I swear, I really don't think we've met.
I'd remember.
- I guess, but you just look so familiar.
- [Mel] All righty, you guys, ready?
- This is nice.
Just us.
I mean, the cameras.
- I just want my fans to see me,
or, well, us, and how happy I am.
There's more to life than just necklaces,
bracelets, and earrings.
- That is true.
This is real corny.
- Dave, please.
- Sorry.
- [Mel] It's okay.
Just go from there and I'll piece it together after.
- I don't really wanna ask these.
- Please?
Please, please, please, please?
- How many people have you slept with?
- Um.
Like, nine, I guess.
I don't know, it's all an insignificant blur before you.
Wait, what about you?
- Oh, it's all just an insignificant blur,
but it's a lot less than nine!
I know that!
Des, this is making me look like a complete creep.
- Mel, he doesn't wanna do it.
- [Mel] So lame.
- Another fun way to wear a colored stone
is layering delicate necklaces with coordinated stones.
You can do it every time you're wearing a neutral top
for that extra pop of color.
I do it every time I wear black or white--
- [Dave] Okay, Des.
- Because we all need a little color in our lives.
- [Dave] Ready to go?
- I'm doing it right now.
See?
Perfect for my dinner date at Catch tonight.
- I believe it's pronounced Cache.
Babe?
- Yes?
- We have a reservation in eight minutes.
It's gonna take us 15 to get there.
Can we please go?
- Just, I'm almost done, okay?
Two minutes. I promise.
- I don't want to lose another reservation.
- [Des] That was one time!
- And what are you telling these people
where we're going for?
That freaks me out.
[Des sighs]
I thought you were gonna toss this.
- Mel really knows her stuff
and she can really help me grow my brand, so, yeah.
- [Dave] Grow your brand.
- What?!
- This isn't just another fun way to promote your jewelry?
[static crackling]
I'll call Catch, tell them we're going to be late.
Hurry.
[sighs]
- Another fun new way to wear a colored stone
is by wearing them on your fingers.
See?
[Dave sighs]
- Promise we're done after this?
- Mel, he doesn't want to do it.
How much longer?
- [Mel] Yeah, you guys are almost done, okay?
People are loving you, by the way.
You're up to 20,000.
- Yeah, well, we did get some weird comments.
Some people wrote in that they wanted to see Des kiss a girl
or scissor a girl. [Des chuckles]
That's not funny, that's weird.
- Babe.
People are weird.
Don't worry about random comments.
- What about "I would tap that ass to be number 10?"
Or wait for it,
box of sand that was delivered to her house
because she loves the beach.
It's weird people knows where she lives.
It's definitely not safe.
- [Mel] I think Dave is a little jealous.
- Dave, come on. - Get outta here.
That's ridiculous. - Come on.
These comments are coming from people
that are hiding behind their computer screens.
Stay positive, stay fun.
- [Des] Dave.
For me?
- Okay.
Fine.
Let's just get back to shooting a jewelry vlog
because that's what we were doing, a jewelry vlog.
- What if, after this, Dave goes on a little vlog-cation?
Me and Des will get enough footage
to last for a little while.
You come back, nail the couple vlog,
and take a little break.
I mean, it's an idea, but it's not up to me, so...
- That could work.
Not too long though.
- [Mel] No, just give Dave the break he wants.
- [Des] You can take some time to work on that mon-com.
- I guess, if that means we can spend time
without that damn phone in our face.
How long you think it will take?
- [Mel] Three to four days.
Tops.
- Yoga time it is, then.
Let's do this.
- [Des] I love you, you're the best.
[Dave sighs]
[sighs]
- [Mel] Oh, don't tell me you're shy.
Let's see how camera shy you really are.
Ready?
See?
Told you, you'd love it.
- Hi, guys!
Check out my office today.
I know that I'm always working,
but one of the perks about being in LA
is that when I'm not working on my jewelry,
I'm only a few hundred feet away from this.
I wish I can send some rays to the east coast
to help melt that nasty Nor'easter they're having.
[static crackling]
Also, turquoise colored stones
are a great compliment to any bathing suit.
Just make sure to not stay out in the sun too long
or they will start to turn.
- [Mel] That was great, Des.
Girls are gonna wish they were by the pool,
and guys are gonna love it.
You look so hot.
[yelps]
[static crackles]
[Mel humming]
- I don't know about this one, Mel.
I think Dave's gonna be pissed.
- [Mel] Oh, come on.
It's making people like you,
and then they'll like your jewelry even more.
People like to feel included.
Look, if it feels weird,
just say so, we can stop and no one ever has to see it.
Pick up from where we left off?
- Deal.
Hi, guys!
So I just showed you some new design ideas
for a sexy new pair of earrings.
And I need your help, by the way.
Let me know which one you liked better.
But I also need your help
with picking out a new bra to entice Dave with.
There are two contenders.
This one
or
this one.
He's special to me,
so I wanna wear something special for him.
How was that?
- [Mel] It was great.
- So which one do you like better, huh?
Like this one?
This one, this, this, this one?
Uh, uh, uh!
Or you like this bra?
Like this bra?
[Mel chuckles] Or you like this bra?
This bra or this bra?
This bra? Uh!
- [Mel] That's perfect, Des.
[Mel chuckles]
Get those likes.
So sexy.
I knew you would do whatever it takes.
Glad I wasn't wrong about you.
You're gonna be a star.
[laptop ringing]
- Dezzy! - Hi!
Oh my, God.
I missed your beautiful face.
- Oh, I missed you too.
- Are you back in town, or what?
- No, I'm still gonna be on tour for a couple weeks,
but I had some time, so I was, like,
I wanna know how my favorite actress
slash jewelry designer is.
- Did you see I'm up to 11,000 subscribers?
Crazy?
- It is. I did.
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
I really am so proud.
But about the vlog, I just wanna know, like,
is that what you want?
I mean, you gotta be so careful
that you don't put yourself in a position
that you can't get out of.
I mean, I've been there, trust me, I know.
And you're a lot better than numbers.
So, I don't mean to be too much or pushy,
but just be careful.
- I get it, I do, but I'm fine.
- Hold on, hold on.
Sorry, I gotta take this call.
I'm so sorry.
- Okay.
Bye!
- Bye, love!
- Guess who?
I couldn't sleep last night 'cause I was up
thinking about all the cool new bracelets and necklaces
I'm gonna design for you guys, like--
[knocking]
Oh, she's here.
BRB.
Ready to vlog?
- [Mel] Oh, no, no, no, no.
You're the star, not me.
- I just finished a little jewelry spiel.
- [Mel] Oh, yeah, oh, I was telling my friends
to check out your stuff. - Oh, my God, thank you!
Thank you so much!
Okay, I'm gonna go call, Dave.
- [Mel] Okay.
I'll set up.
Tell him I said hi. - Will do!
Hey, babe.
How's it going with the script?
[Mel humming] Oh, yeah?
[static crackles]
[Mel humming]
- Shh.
Ready whenever you are.
- I feel like this is a little much.
- [Mel] I thought you were up for anything.
We're doing this.
- I know, but the other stuff was a little more playful
and still dealt with my jewelry.
- But people will eat it up.
- Yeah, I'm not piercing myself.
Sorry.
- It's just a belly button.
Do it for a new belly button stone or something.
[sighs]
- Mel, I'm really sorry,
but this one's a little bit too much.
Plus, nobody does this anymore.
It's so '90s.
Can we just skip it?
[Mel chuckles]
- [Mel] No.
- [Des] I mean, people loved your other stuff,
like the making tiny jewelry for your hamster.
That was super cute.
- You have to escalate to be vlog worthy.
- [Des] Um, not like this.
I'm out. - Sit down.
- What? - Sit down.
Please. - Mel.
What's wrong?
- We're gonna pierce your belly button, that's what.
- [Des] I already said I didn't want to.
- I'm just messing with you.
Relax. [both chuckle]
I'm totally messing.
[Mel groans] - Are you freaking insane?!
- [Mel] I'm not the one who wanted thousands
to see my personal life!
[static crackling] [Des groans]
[Mel groans]
- [Des] Help!
[door thuds]
- [Mel] Don't scream.
Now we get serious.
- No, no, no!
[Des screams] - Stop screaming, Des.
It's not becoming.
Your fans won't like it.
'Cause if you really wanna scream,
I can give you a reason, okay?
- Please don't kill me.
Please, I'll do anything you want,
just don't hurt me or Goblin.
- That's the spirit.
- Why are you doing this, Mel?
Please.
Why?
What do you want? I'll do it.
Just please let me go. - I just want you
to be vlog worthy.
And it's fun for you.
You get to act again.
I found these lying around.
Hm.
Resume on the back is pretty scarce though.
Kinda embarrassing, huh?
That's why it's a dry house, isn't it?
Mm.
I know, Des, failure's hard.
- Stop it! - Redemption is fun though.
And you can act again for me.
Remember, stay positive, stay fun.
- What are you talking about?
- We're gonna pierce your belly button
and you're gonna act like you like it.
- No, no, no.
With that?
No.
Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no.
You're insane!
- [Mel] Me?
It was your idea. [Des yelps]
[Des whimpering]
Oh.
[Mel humming]
Vloggers come and go and no one gives a crap.
I'm here to build you up and make you famous.
You asked me here.
It's what you wanted, isn't it?
It's always what you wanted.
You will do this and you'll like it.
Here, and don't try anything stupid.
What are you waiting for?
Focus, Des.
I'd give you something to sterilize it with,
but there's no alcohol, so-- - [Des] I can't, I can't.
- [Mel] Just like we practiced.
Hold and pinch, okay?
- Yeah. Okay, okay.
- Okay. - Okay.
- [Mel] And action!
- Hey, guys!
Des here.
You know I love jewelry.
I can't get enough--
- [Mel] Happier, Des!
Smile!
- Hey, guys!
Des here.
You know I love jewelry.
I can't get enough of it.
And today, I'm adding some more, a belly button ring.
People think it's old school, but I like it.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna attempt to--
- [Mel] Cut.
Happier and no attempt.
Go from there.
- I'm gonna pierce my belly button.
Who says an awl is just good for jewelry-making?
- [Mel] Don't get any ideas, honey,
or else that awl will be through your skinny little neck.
Now, continue from there.
- Okay.
Here I go.
- [Mel] Wipe the tears.
No tears.
Say you're excited.
[Des whimpering]
- Here I go.
I'm excited.
[Des whimpering]
- [Mel] Do it now, or I'll do it for you.
[Des whimpering]
[screaming]
Good girl!
You did it!
And that's it!
That's just a taste of danger, and they'll love you for it.
Oh, Des, come on.
Tell everyone how much fun it was.
Say it.
- That was fun.
- [Mel] Clean yourself up.
Thanks for coming.
- Of course.
Good footage?
- [Mel] Great footage.
[Josh chuckles]
- [Josh] The pineapple router is set.
I just gotta connect these bad boys,
and then I'll have access to all the footage to edit.
Hey, gimme her phone.
I'll connect you to the cloud.
- [Mel] You're a freaking genius.
- [Josh] I just try and do what I can.
- For me, right?
- [Josh] Yeah, for you.
- [Des] A pineapple router?
What's that?
- It gives me wireless access to your entire world.
You've been hacked, hot stuff.
- When you edit this,
needs to look like she's having a good time.
- [Josh] Oh, yeah, I got it.
- [Mel] Good.
- Hey, guys. It's me, Des. You know I love jewelry.
Can't get enough of it.
So, today, I'm going to add some more, a belly button ring.
I know it's a little old school, but I like it.
Here I go!
I'm excited!
[Mel laughing]
- [Mel] You know what?
You're such a great actress, Des.
I mean, I'm surprised you had to give it up.
- That was fun.
- If I didn't know you any better,
I'd think that you really love this.
And look at all these comments.
These people are loving you.
I mean, all these likes and comments and shares.
I mean, it's fantastic!
I think your fans are ready for more.
The milk challenge, have you heard of it?
Hey, I'm talking to you.
- The milk challenge,
yeah, you drink a lot of milk quickly
and then you throw it up.
- I floated the idea by your fans.
Let's see what they think.
The milk challenge is lame?
Sasha234, you think so too, huh?
Your fans don't know, Des.
I mean, we can't be lame, right?
We can't be lame.
We can't be lame, can we, Des, huh?!
We can't be lame, can we?!
[Mel whimpering]
[Mel grunts]
[Mel whimpering]
- [Des] Mel, no.
I thought we were finished.
- You'll be fine.
I got this specifically for you.
- Mel, please.
Please.
- Everyone falls off the wagon occasionally.
And this won't be lame.
Everybody loves a drunk girl.
- No more.
Please.
- [Mel] Okay.
- What are you doing? What is that, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no. - This is for your own good.
We have to make sure that you cooperate.
- No, please.
- Go on. [Des panting]
Like a pro.
- Hey, guys.
It's me.
Shot time.
It's three, two, one, let's go!
- [Mel] Smile.
Brilliant.
There you go.
[Des gurgles]
[Des heaving]
Come on, come on, let it out!
[static crackling]
- He's a selfish asshole.
All he cares about is his stupid movies.
I'm more talented than he'll ever be!
I fucking hate Dave!
I hate him.
[Des gurgling]
How much more?
Please, Mel.
What else do you want from me?
I've done what you wanted.
- [Mel] So far.
And you've been great, so thank you.
But you need to do something
about your Dave problem, or I will.
- What do you mean?
Don't hurt him, Mel.
Swear to God, don't hurt him.
- [Mel] I'm gonna need you to sleep for a little bit.
- Mel, please.
What did you give me?
- [Mel] Just something to help calm you down.
- What did you give me, Mel?
- [Mel] I'll see you in a bit.
Shh.
You won't believe how famous you'll be.
Sleep well.
We may have a bit of a problem.
- [Des] What is it?
- [Dave] Hey, I called you a bunch.
I saw your latest post.
Drinking, Des?
The drinking?
[Dave sighs]
Did you really mean the things you said?
What's going on?
I'm sorry I left.
Call me.
- So pathetic.
What do you see in that loser?
You can't let Dave get in the way of your brand.
- [Des] You want me to dump him.
- I want you to text him that he needs to be okay
with whatever Des the vlogger wants to do.
And I'll film you.
People will get a kick out of it.
[stun gun crackling]
- Okay. I understand.
I understand.
- [Mel] Great!
And action.
Remember, positive vibes only.
[sighs]
- Hi, guys.
It's me, Des.
I just want to thank all my new followers
and for InTheKnow.com for spreading the word on their site,
but there is been one person
who hasn't been as supportive as you guys.
You guessed it.
Dave.
He's still away working on his script for me,
but I wanted to let you guys know
that I'm not gonna let you down,
and give you front row seats
to everything that happens in our relationship.
[Mel clicking tongue]
- Des.
Keep going.
- Here's what I'll type.
Hey, Dave.
People are loving my new vlogs.
I'd appreciate more support.
I want to do even more for my fans.
[sighs]
That's right.
I want to do even more for you guys.
- He respond?
Tell everyone.
- So here's what Dave wrote back.
What the hell, Des?
This isn't okay with me.
Why are you doing this?
For what?
I guess Dave doesn't get it.
- Text him that if he doesn't support you,
you don't want to talk to him anymore.
Do I have to persuade you again?
[stun gun crackling]
- Okay, okay, okay!
I'll do it. Fine.
I'll do it.
You never supported me, Dave.
You poke fun at my acting skills,
you don't get my passion for jewelry,
and now, you're trying to keep me
from being a successful vlogger.
Just leave me alone, Dave.
I don't need you.
I don't want you.
Stay away forever.
Dave, I mean it.
Goodbye.
- [Mel] Show them that you sent it.
- Here you go, guys.
Proof I have your back.
[static crackling]
- [Mel] Was perfect.
- How much more, Mel?
Please.
- Your new video of you telling Dave what's up
is getting great reviews.
And you know, a lot of your fans are on your side.
It's fantastic.
And action.
- As you can see, I'm almost done
with my new amethyst gemstone necklace.
I hope you guys like it.
If you do, I'll make even more so you guys can buy them.
And if you do, I'll make it worth your while.
- That's great, Des.
Doesn't it feel good getting back to your jewelry?
- Sure.
That's all this was ever supposed to be.
- Right, that's it.
It wasn't supposed to help jumpstart
your stagnant failure of an acting career?
I mean, a jewelry vlog?
Really?
Did you just pick a talent out of a hat one day and say,
oh, I hope this will get someone to notice me.
You're a fame whore with a plan, just like everyone else.
- I didn't want fame.
I wanted exposure for my jewelry line.
- You showed your whole life, your relationship.
You've gotten your exposure.
You're exposed.
- That's not what I-- - Stop lying to yourself, Des.
You wanted this.
The comments, the adoration, the posting on a trending site.
You paraded around like an altruistic person,
but, really, you're just a narcissistic piece of shit
with all of the accolades like everybody else.
You are no better and no different.
- So that's what this is about.
You're punishing me because people like me.
- And now, they like you even more because of me,
because of you completely debasing yourself.
You've been doing the figurative, Des,
but people love the literal.
[static crackles]
You're just a vacuous, transparent hypocrite.
You deserve this.
What are you doing?!
What the...
[Mel groans]
Bitch!
[stun gun crackling]
Motherfucker!
What am I gonna do with you?
That was impressive.
That was fun!
Any other ideas floating around
in that pretty little head of yours, huh?!
[Des panting]
- I'm sorry.
Please, please, don't kill me.
That was stupid.
I won't do it again.
Please.
Just don't kill me.
- You gonna cooperate?
- I promise. I promise!
- Great.
I'm glad you're back on board.
We're gonna have lots of fun together.
I like feisty Des.
And action.
- Hey, guys!
So I've accepted another challenge.
I wrote on my vlog that I would hold this super hot
curling iron for five seconds
if you guys bought 500 bracelets.
Looks like I've hit my mark.
Thanks, guys.
This is very exciting.
Okay.
Here we go.
- [Mel] Drop some water on it so they can see how hot it is.
[water hissing]
- See, I wasn't messing around.
Now, I'm gonna count really slowly for you guys
so it's a full five seconds.
[gasps] [stun gun crackles]
- [Mel] That wasn't even a second!
- It's really freaking hot!
- [Mel] If you think you can't do it.
[stun gun crackling] [static crackling]
- I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it!
[whimpering]
[stun gun crackling] [static crackling]
Okay, I just need a second, please!
Just a second.
[sighs]
Okay, here I go!
One.
Two.
Three!
Four!
[Des yelps] [static crackling]
Mel! [Mel chuckles]
- [Mel] I think we got it.
[water splashing]
[static crackling]
[Des groaning]
Ready?
And go.
- My hand hurts, but it was worth it.
That was tough, but I'm glad I earned your business
and learned I was stronger than I thought.
I'm excited for all my new orders.
Thanks, guys.
- [Mel] Now, that's acting.
Amazing.
You know, you've been doing so well, Des.
You're really a natural at this.
Have I told you that?
'Cause you are.
Looks like your precious boyfriend won't take the hint.
- [Dave] Des, talk to me.
What the hell's wrong with you?
Are you crazy?
And now, you're burning yourself?
I'm coming over if you don't respond.
- Doesn't get what it takes, does he?
- He's gonna come for me, Mel.
What are you gonna do then?
Please, I'm sorry.
I've gotten the viewers.
- Yeah, and now, your vlog is on all the trending sites.
Look, this is what you wanted.
You knew that there were consequences.
- He's gonna come here.
- That'll be a shame, won't it?
I have an idea.
Why don't we make sure he doesn't come?
Dave, leave me the fuck alone.
This vlog is more important to me than you are.
Stay away or I'll get a fucking restraining order on you.
You're no longer my priority.
Bye forever.
You think that'll keep him away?
Trust me, one day, you'll thank me for all of this.
Or not.
Des.
You promised.
And you know what happens when you break a promise.
- Okay.
Okay.
- And, babe, please stop it with the tears, okay?
There's nothing sexy about that.
- I know.
I'm sorry.
- Stop saying sorry, okay?
Come on.
It's big girl time, okay?
- Okay.
- [Mel] And now, for the grand finale.
- And now, for the grand finale.
- [Mel] That's good enough.
You can stop there.
- What?
- This is totally gonna go viral.
Isn't that great?
And you look so hot, by the way.
Doesn't she, Josh?
- [Josh] Yes, very.
- [Mel] Your new post has barely been up
and it's already gone viral.
That's a lot of new followers.
That's a lot of new people to see you.
It'd be a shame to lose them.
- Yeah.
Real shame. [phone beeping]
- Let's see what this asshole has to say.
- [Dave] Des, I figured out why Mel looks so familiar.
She's BusyGirl88.
She got shut down for filming that--
[phone beeps]
- Wow!
So you're BusyGirl88.
So that's what this is.
Am I your next adventure?
Are you gonna take me to the park
and watch me kill myself with a razor blade?!
Am I your new best friend, Mel?!
- Shut up!
Shut the fuck up!
You have no idea what you're talking about!
Why is it my fault that she went through with it, huh?
People see what they wanna see!
I wanted to die too.
[Mel grunts]
- What does this have to do with me, huh?!
What do you want?! - You know what I want!
I want you and all the other fake, plastic posers,
pretending to have a fucking life,
to show the world something it actually wants to see!
But you're never gonna understand that, are you, Des?
- Film me.
You're really done with me?
- Aw.
You gonna miss me?
- [Des] No.
- Congratulations.
[door thuds]
[grunting]
[panting]
- Help!
Help!
Please.
Oh, please.
Please, help me.
Help!
Please!
Help me!
Fuck!
Help!
Fuck!
[sobs]
Help!
Please.
[Des grunting]
Fuck!
Help!
Fuck!
[sobs]
Help!
Please.
- [Dave] Des!
I know you're here!
- Dave?!
Dave, I'm in here!
I'm in here!
Dave?!
[door clacks] - Des?
- [Des] Call the police.
She's gonna kill me.
- There's nobody here.
- [Des] I'm burning.
- [Dave] Come on.
- [Des] Ow.
- [Dave] There you go.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry.
Oh, my God, Des.
I am so sorry.
- [Des] I thought she was gonna kill me.
- [Dave] I'm here now.
I'm here.
Let's call the police.
I should've never left.
- [Des] I'm just glad that it's over.
- [Dave] Me too.
I'm sorry it took me so long to get here.
- [Des] I'm just glad that it's over.
- [Dave] What's that doing here?
- I don't know.
- [Dave] That's her webcam, right?
- Yeah.
- [Dave] Why is that still here?
- I don't know!
- Stay here.
I'm gonna go check the house.
- [Des] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please.
Dave, don't go. - I'll be fine.
- Don't go. - I'll be right back.
- No, no, no, don't leave me, please!
Don't leave. No!
Dave! No!
- What the fuck?
The cameras are still in here too!
You're blinking.
You're still on, aren't you?
- Dave?!
Is she still here?!
Dave!
[camera crashes]
Dave!
Dave?!
Dave, what happened?!
- [Dave] I'm gonna check the fuse box.
It's probably nothing.
- It's in the closet by the front door!
[stun gun crackles]
[body thuds]
Dave?!
Dave!
Are you okay?!
[Des panting]
[Des whimpering]
Dave!
[Des groaning]
Dave?!
Dave?
Oh, my God.
Dave?
[stun gun crackles]
[body thuds]
[classical music]
- [Josh] We're all set up.
Ready whenever you are.
- Hey, Dave.
How's the screenplay coming?
Mm.
You really shouldn't have come.
We didn't want you here.
But it's so sweet you remembered me.
I didn't know you were such a big fan of BusyGirl88.
What do you see in this guy anyway?
He's so ugh.
Maybe your fans would like to see him in our video, huh?
What do you think?
- I hope you fucking die.
I swear to God. - Oh.
Your fans, maybe not, but my fans would.
I found a place that appreciates the sorta thing I do.
They appreciated my suicide video.
They appreciate me.
It's a small community, but it's thriving.
What do you say, Des?
You ready to be a star there?
- No-- - Oh, shut up, Dave!
Maybe they'd like to see us do stuff together, huh?
What kind of stuff you think they'd like to see?
Mm.
Oh!
Oh, there's the grand finale that's promised.
And I think Des would wanna do the grand finale.
If not, you can watch me slit his throat.
Huh, what do you think Dave?!
What do you say, Des?
Ready to be a star? - Please, don't hurt him.
Please. - Oh.
It's up to you.
Action!
- Hey.
[Mel clicking tongue]
- Des. - I'm sorry.
I'll do it, I just, I need a minute, okay?
[Dave mumbles]
- Dave!
We're gonna need you to be quiet.
- I don't want her to hurt you, okay?
We're gonna get through this, I promise.
I'm so sorry.
- [Josh] Let's get back to it.
We're ready to do this.
- [Mel] Slow down, Joshie.
Des?
Places. [Mel snapping fingers]
Places!
Dave, aren't you so glad
that your girlfriend got back into acting?
[Mel chuckling]
[fingers snapping]
- You can't show this on the internet.
- [Mel] This isn't for your type of internet.
I think you know that.
- I'm sorry, but...
- Nope! Time's up. Josh. - No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, please don't, please don't, please don't!
[punch thuds]
- [Josh] Ah, yeah!
[loud slap]
[Josh grunts]
- You're gonna have to try a lot harder than that, Des.
Josh.
It's okay.
You can cry now.
My fans like it when they cry.
Oh. [Des sobs]
[Dave grunting]
Ta-da!
The grand finale.
I bet you're wondering what's next.
I just can't decide which.
Oh, yes.
Let's start with something simple.
[Dave mumbles]
[Des sobs]
[Dave mumbles]
Do you wanna watch, Dave, huh?
[Des whimpering]
[Des screams]
[Dave groans]
You have to be good and wait your turn, Josh.
How about...
Oh, yes.
- [Des] Oh, no!
[Des screaming] [Dave groaning]
- [Josh] Oh, my.
Oh.
It's still in form!
- [Mel] What do you think my fans would like to see next?
[Des sobs]
Mm.
You know, I do feel bad for Dave.
I mean, he warned you not to do it,
and you opened up your life
and he's a part of it, so here we are.
Dave.
You look like you wanna hit me.
Do you wanna hit me?
Go ahead.
Hit me.
[headbutt thuds]
[Mel groans]
- [Des] No, stop it!
[Mel screams] [Dave sobs]
- You want some more, Dave, huh?!
[Mel grunts]
Josh.
Projector.
I've got a special surprise for you, Dave.
[Dave grunting]
It's your girlfriend's premier party.
Oh, what's wrong, Dave, huh?
You like it, you feeling feisty?
Come on. Get up.
Get up, tough guy.
[punch thuds] [Mel groans]
This is fun, come on!
[Dave groaning] [static crackles]
That kinda hurt, Dave.
You hit me pretty hard.
Kinda something like this!
[loud splat]
- [Des] No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
No!
Oh, my God!
- Oh.
Don't worry, Des.
Everything's gonna be all right.
So much has happened!
So much to use.
So thank you.
- Just fucking kill me.
I can't stand hearing your fucking voice anymore.
Kill me!
- How should I do it, Des?
My fans wanna know.
Do you have any ideas?
I'll do anything for 'em.
Come on.
[chuckles]
Fine.
Bye-bye, Des.
[Des chuckles]
Is something funny?
- [Des] This is it?
Is this it?
- [Mel] What are you talking about?
- You cut off one little toe,
and now, you're gonna kill me with my fucking tool
I use to making jewelry with?
Is that some stupid symbolic shit you just thought of?
How pathetically bland you are.
I expect more.
They do too. - [Mel] Shut the fuck up!
[Des laughs]
- No, no, go ahead.
I'm sure your fans would really enjoy it!
[Des laughs]
No, wait!
Maybe we can just stop and do another milk challenge
while we're at it!
[Des laughs]
You're so lame,
and your audience thinks your lame, BusyGirl88.
- I'm gonna enjoy killing you.
- And you're gonna do it before you even let
Josh get to have me?
He does all that work for you
and he doesn't even get a taste?!
Is that how jealous you are?
You won't even let your audience see what they wanna see?
Isn't that right, Joshie?
But your girlfriend won't let you.
Oh, poor Joshie.
I thought this was the dark web.
I guess I was wrong.
- [Mel] Stop.
[punch thuds] [Mel groans]
[loud thud]
[static crackles]
- Wouldn't wanna cover up your pretty face, Mel-Mel.
[Mel groaning]
[Des chuckles]
[Des chuckling]
I'm gonna need you to be quiet.
[loud thud]
Can you do that for me?
[Des chuckles]
You know, I think I finally get you.
And I wanna show you just how thankful I am
for helping me expand my brand!
I think it really worked!
[Des chuckles]
Aw.
Oh, what's the matter, Mel?
Are you worried what your precious fan base
will think of you now?
Maybe Joshie can help me edit the finish cut later.
What do you say, Joshie?
[Des chuckles]
[Josh groaning]
[Des chuckles]
[Josh groans]
Go on.
- Goblin.
- [Des] Great, I think we got it.
[loud thud]
[Josh gurgling]
[Des chuckling]
And now, for the grand finale.
For your fans.
- Just fucking do it!
Just fucking do it!
[loud thudding] [Mel screaming]
[phone ringing]
- [Greg] Hey, Des, it's Greg from Top Tier Talent again.
Just wanted to say, hey,
and great job with the whole vlog thing.
You're getting some real traction.
Lots of calls coming in.
But yeah, actually, just wanted to see if you had time
to get in front of this casting director later today.
Can you make that work?
[static crackling]
["Secretly Insane" by Kirsten Collins]
♪ Oh, I'm obviously crazy ♪
♪ But secretly insane ♪
♪ I'll make you guess and wonder ♪
♪ As I let you play my game ♪
♪ I will always let you make it ♪
♪ Make it to the end ♪
♪ But it don't really matter ♪
♪ 'Cause I will always win ♪
♪ I'm not trying to be mean, I'm not gonna lose it all ♪
♪ I just know where I've been, I don't wanna fall ♪
♪ I'm not trying to be mean, I'm not gonna lose it all ♪
♪ I just know where I've been, I don't wanna fall ♪
♪ Start being independent ♪
♪ I can't even handle myself ♪
♪ At times, I am so tilted ♪
♪ How could I keep while the sun will melt ♪
♪ Ah, ooh ♪
♪ Yeah ♪