1 00:00:08,534 --> 00:00:10,117 * i'm going down to south park * 2 00:00:10,152 --> 00:00:11,709 * gonna have myself a time * 3 00:00:11,744 --> 00:00:13,232 * friendly faces everywhere * 4 00:00:13,267 --> 00:00:14,868 * humble folks without temptation * 5 00:00:14,903 --> 00:00:16,585 * going down to south park * 6 00:00:16,620 --> 00:00:18,210 * gonna leave my woes behind * 7 00:00:18,245 --> 00:00:19,766 * ample parking day or night * 8 00:00:19,801 --> 00:00:21,534 * people spouting "howdy neighbor" * 9 00:00:21,569 --> 00:00:23,235 * headin' on up to south park * 10 00:00:23,270 --> 00:00:24,866 * gonna see if i can't unwind * 11 00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:28,367 * tim-Tmah tim-Mah, tim-Mah tim-Mah timmy tim-Mah * 12 00:00:28,402 --> 00:00:30,301 * so come on down to south park * 13 00:00:30,336 --> 00:00:32,200 * and meet some friends of mine * 14 00:00:38,367 --> 00:00:40,432 Throw it away, clyde. 15 00:00:40,467 --> 00:00:41,734 I'm not gonna touch it. You throw it away. 16 00:00:41,769 --> 00:00:42,998 What's going on? 17 00:00:43,033 --> 00:00:44,899 Some high-Schoolers left a marijuana cigarette behind. 18 00:00:44,934 --> 00:00:46,300 We have to throw it away before some kids find it or something. 19 00:00:46,335 --> 00:00:47,265 So throw it away. 20 00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:48,998 Nobody wants to touch it. 21 00:00:49,033 --> 00:00:50,332 What if the residue gets on our hands 22 00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:52,634 And it leads to harder drugs like those commercials say? 23 00:00:52,669 --> 00:00:53,767 Yeah, didn't you see that commercial where it says 24 00:00:53,802 --> 00:00:55,684 If you have pot you can become a terrorist? 25 00:00:55,719 --> 00:00:57,567 And the commercial where two kids have pot 26 00:00:57,602 --> 00:00:58,400 And the one kid shoots the other. 27 00:00:58,435 --> 00:00:59,699 Harmless? 28 00:00:59,734 --> 00:01:01,534 You guys, those commercials are just exaggerations. 29 00:01:01,569 --> 00:01:02,799 How do you know? 30 00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:03,667 None of us have ever had any drugs before. 31 00:01:03,702 --> 00:01:05,701 Well, i did ecstasy once. 32 00:01:05,736 --> 00:01:07,666 Me and my girlfriend took it, 33 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,801 And we stayed up all night having s-S-Sex. 34 00:01:10,836 --> 00:01:12,334 Where did you have sex with her? 35 00:01:12,369 --> 00:01:17,601 In her v-V-Vagina. 36 00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:19,967 Thank you, thank you. 37 00:01:20,002 --> 00:01:21,599 What a terrific audience. 38 00:01:21,634 --> 00:01:23,334 It's just a stupid plant that makes you dumb. 39 00:01:23,369 --> 00:01:24,532 Touching it won't hurt you. 40 00:01:24,567 --> 00:01:26,901 Then you throw it away, smartass. 41 00:01:26,936 --> 00:01:28,567 Fine, i will. 42 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,165 There- See? I touched marijuana- 43 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:36,867 I'm not a terrorist, i didn't shoot anybody 44 00:01:36,902 --> 00:01:38,534 And i don't feel like doing more drugs now. 45 00:01:38,569 --> 00:01:39,868 No big deal. 46 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:45,900 You kids don't around 47 00:01:45,935 --> 00:01:47,666 With your mom! 48 00:01:47,701 --> 00:01:49,365 Dad, we can't! 49 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,833 The 50 00:01:50,868 --> 00:01:53,000 Stan, what'd i tell you about watching "the osbournes"? 51 00:01:53,035 --> 00:01:53,699 Oh, come on, mom! 52 00:01:53,734 --> 00:01:56,534 It's going to make you retarded! 53 00:01:56,569 --> 00:01:57,866 It's just a show! 54 00:01:57,901 --> 00:01:59,367 It doesn't have any effect on me 55 00:01:59,402 --> 00:02:00,766 For's sake! 56 00:02:00,801 --> 00:02:02,032 Oh goodie, now we can watch the news. 57 00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:04,067 In other news, south park police are still looking for 58 00:02:04,102 --> 00:02:06,000 A crazy man who terrorized the town one hour ago. 59 00:02:06,035 --> 00:02:08,368 The man claimed to be from the future 60 00:02:08,403 --> 00:02:10,701 And ran naked through the city streets, 61 00:02:10,736 --> 00:02:12,368 Screaming, "the past! The past! 62 00:02:12,403 --> 00:02:13,965 Oh my god, it's the past!" 63 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,334 Which is what one would expect someone from the future to yell. 64 00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:23,683 Oh my god, it's the past! 65 00:02:23,718 --> 00:02:26,234 Oh whoa, man, it's you! 66 00:02:26,269 --> 00:02:27,299 Who are you? 67 00:02:27,334 --> 00:02:29,200 It's me, mom, your son, stan! 68 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,767 Who is it, sharon? 69 00:02:34,802 --> 00:02:35,751 Dad! 70 00:02:35,786 --> 00:02:36,666 Dad? 71 00:02:36,701 --> 00:02:38,501 Look, we don't know you and you don't know us. 72 00:02:38,536 --> 00:02:39,951 Just go away before we call the police. 73 00:02:39,986 --> 00:02:42,026 Who the is it, mom and dad? 74 00:02:42,061 --> 00:02:44,067 No way, it's me from the past! 75 00:02:44,102 --> 00:02:44,766 I'm me from the past? 76 00:02:44,801 --> 00:02:46,584 No, i'm you from the future. 77 00:02:46,619 --> 00:02:48,367 Oh man, this is so messed up. 78 00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:50,201 Okay, we've had enough. 79 00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:51,965 Your name's randy marsh. 80 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,567 You're a geologist and you don't like chicken. 81 00:02:54,602 --> 00:02:56,399 Mom, your maiden name is kimble 82 00:02:56,434 --> 00:02:57,532 And you have a scar on your left knee 83 00:02:57,567 --> 00:02:59,300 From when you slipped at the swimming pool! 84 00:02:59,335 --> 00:03:01,200 Randy, what's going on? 85 00:03:01,235 --> 00:03:03,699 I don't know. 86 00:03:03,734 --> 00:03:05,367 Dude, just let me talk to you for like five minutes. 87 00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:08,200 After that, i'll bail. 88 00:03:10,534 --> 00:03:13,098 I can still remember when i was five 89 00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:16,501 And you both found that squirrel i'd been keeping in the closet, 90 00:03:16,536 --> 00:03:18,567 And you let me keep it for another week, 91 00:03:18,602 --> 00:03:19,599 And then it ran away. 92 00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:20,666 But that's what you told me, 93 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,534 I knew mom had actually let it out. 94 00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:24,332 How could he possibly know all that? 95 00:03:24,367 --> 00:03:28,532 Unless- He is our son from the future. 96 00:03:28,567 --> 00:03:30,732 But why are you back in this time with us, son? 97 00:03:30,767 --> 00:03:33,300 I have no idea, man, i was just about to go to sleep 98 00:03:33,335 --> 00:03:35,567 In an alley behind the crack house. 99 00:03:35,602 --> 00:03:36,998 I had shot up a little heroin, 100 00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:39,432 And then this electrical storm started. 101 00:03:39,467 --> 00:03:42,467 The next thing i knew i was running around in my own past, man. 102 00:03:42,502 --> 00:03:44,466 I thought i was just tripping, 103 00:03:44,501 --> 00:03:46,234 But then i came down and i was still here! 104 00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:49,599 Oh dude, it's so bizarre! 105 00:03:49,634 --> 00:03:51,500 Oh dude, i should've never touched that marijuana. 106 00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:53,367 Stan, whatever has happened, we're going to help you. 107 00:03:53,402 --> 00:03:55,432 That's right. 108 00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:57,534 We're a family, no matter what time shift. 109 00:03:57,569 --> 00:03:59,334 Thanks. Could i get another beer? 110 00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:00,466 You must be exhausted. 111 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:01,534 Why don't you get some sleep? 112 00:04:01,569 --> 00:04:02,735 That'd be killer. 113 00:04:02,770 --> 00:04:03,866 Where can i crash? 114 00:04:03,901 --> 00:04:06,434 Well, i'm sure stan wouldn't mind sharing his room. 115 00:04:06,469 --> 00:04:08,968 What?! I have to share my room with my future self? 116 00:04:09,003 --> 00:04:10,434 Oh, no! 117 00:04:10,968 --> 00:04:13,534 * here we are face to face * 118 00:04:13,569 --> 00:04:15,801 * my future self n' me 119 00:04:15,836 --> 00:04:16,699 Stop it. 120 00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,567 * so much alike and yet so different * 121 00:04:18,602 --> 00:04:20,434 * one of us messy the other one clean * 122 00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,267 * gettin' along isn't always easy * 123 00:04:22,302 --> 00:04:23,267 * sometimes we disagree 124 00:04:23,302 --> 00:04:24,732 Quit it. 125 00:04:24,767 --> 00:04:26,767 * but in the end we know we're good for each other * 126 00:04:26,802 --> 00:04:30,501 * two peas in a pod future self n' me * 127 00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:32,834 * future self n' me * 128 00:04:32,869 --> 00:04:35,133 * future self n'... 129 00:04:35,168 --> 00:04:37,601 * nnnnn' me * 130 00:04:39,167 --> 00:04:40,165 Hey guys. Hey. 131 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,800 Whoa! Kyle and cartman! 132 00:04:41,835 --> 00:04:43,400 So cool to see you guys! 133 00:04:43,435 --> 00:04:44,618 Who's this asshole? 134 00:04:44,653 --> 00:04:45,766 This is my future self. 135 00:04:45,801 --> 00:04:47,200 He came during the electrical storm last night, 136 00:04:47,235 --> 00:04:47,734 And is caught in a time matrix. 137 00:04:47,769 --> 00:04:49,499 He's me when i'm 32. 138 00:04:49,534 --> 00:04:50,766 Wow, that's pretty cool. 139 00:04:50,801 --> 00:04:51,899 But how does he know our names? 140 00:04:51,934 --> 00:04:53,634 'Cause, r-Tard, he's stan from the future! 141 00:04:53,669 --> 00:04:54,934 He knows everything stan knows. 142 00:04:54,969 --> 00:04:55,799 Ohhh. 143 00:04:55,834 --> 00:04:57,899 Wait- Stan becomes this douche bag? 144 00:04:57,934 --> 00:05:00,884 Yeah, i spent a lot of my teenage years on a slow, 145 00:05:00,919 --> 00:05:03,834 Downward spiral experimenting with drugs and alcohol. 146 00:05:03,869 --> 00:05:05,634 Ha ha ahaaa! Haa ahaaa haaa! 147 00:05:05,669 --> 00:05:06,918 Shut up, cartman! 148 00:05:06,953 --> 00:05:08,132 That is so awesome! 149 00:05:08,167 --> 00:05:11,532 Thank you, god! Oh, praise god! 150 00:05:11,567 --> 00:05:12,334 Hey, what happens to me in the future? 151 00:05:12,369 --> 00:05:14,666 Oh, i don't know. 152 00:05:14,701 --> 00:05:16,701 You guys stayed away from drugs so you were okay. 153 00:05:16,736 --> 00:05:17,965 I just lost touch with you 154 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,834 After i was sent to juvie hall in 2006. 155 00:05:20,869 --> 00:05:22,866 Juvie hall! Ha hahaha! 156 00:05:22,901 --> 00:05:25,868 Stan's a loser! Stan's a loser! 157 00:05:25,903 --> 00:05:26,434 God dammit. 158 00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:31,133 Thanks for staying after school and tutoring me, butters. 159 00:05:31,168 --> 00:05:32,232 Well, sure thing, stan. 160 00:05:32,267 --> 00:05:34,400 But how come you care about schoolwork all of a sudden? 161 00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:36,566 I told you, i can't stand my future self! 162 00:05:36,601 --> 00:05:38,467 I have to do whatever i can to not become a loser like him. 163 00:05:38,502 --> 00:05:40,317 Well, studying is the golden key 164 00:05:40,352 --> 00:05:42,098 To the imposing door of success. 165 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,567 I just can't stand having my future self around all the time. 166 00:05:44,602 --> 00:05:45,599 It's driving me crazy! 167 00:05:45,634 --> 00:05:46,634 Maybe if i get smarter i won't become him 168 00:05:46,669 --> 00:05:48,701 And i won't have to share my room! 169 00:05:48,736 --> 00:05:49,732 I know what you mean. 170 00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:51,600 I hate having my future self around too! 171 00:05:51,635 --> 00:05:53,101 Yeah, it's like everything i do, he- 172 00:05:53,136 --> 00:05:54,567 Wait a minute- What did you say? 173 00:05:54,602 --> 00:05:55,866 I said i know how you feel. 174 00:05:55,901 --> 00:05:57,117 My life has gone completely downhill 175 00:05:57,152 --> 00:05:58,334 Ever since my future self moved in. 176 00:05:58,369 --> 00:06:00,132 I hate him. 177 00:06:00,167 --> 00:06:01,901 All he ever wants to do is watch "becker". 178 00:06:01,936 --> 00:06:03,701 And that show is so stupid. 179 00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:06,600 Dude, how long has your future self been around? 180 00:06:06,635 --> 00:06:09,133 Oh, i guess it's been about four months now. 181 00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:10,065 Four months?! 182 00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:11,400 And you never told anybody you were living with 183 00:06:11,435 --> 00:06:12,501 Yourself from the future?! 184 00:06:12,536 --> 00:06:14,085 Nobody asked. 185 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,599 Where is he now? 186 00:06:15,634 --> 00:06:17,467 Probably watching "becker". 187 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:19,833 My name is t. Becker. 188 00:06:19,868 --> 00:06:21,300 The "t" stands for "terrific". 189 00:06:21,335 --> 00:06:22,265 Ha ha ha! 190 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:25,833 See, here he is- Future butters. 191 00:06:25,868 --> 00:06:27,634 Future self, this is my good friend- 192 00:06:27,669 --> 00:06:29,699 Stan! Sure i remember you! 193 00:06:29,734 --> 00:06:31,934 Yup, wearing that puffball hat like always! 194 00:06:31,969 --> 00:06:32,998 Oh, hello, boys. 195 00:06:33,033 --> 00:06:35,434 Future butters, it's time to take your liver medicine. 196 00:06:35,469 --> 00:06:36,532 Liver medicine? 197 00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:38,065 Yeah, my future self has a bad kidney 198 00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:39,300 From all the drinking he did in high school. 199 00:06:39,335 --> 00:06:41,534 I need to learn to behave myself. 200 00:06:43,901 --> 00:06:46,100 Hey, where are you going, stan? 201 00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:49,701 Alright, where's that son of a bitch's wallet? 202 00:06:49,736 --> 00:06:51,699 What are you looking for, huh, stan? 203 00:06:51,734 --> 00:06:53,601 Butters, don't you think it's a little bit of a coincidence 204 00:06:53,636 --> 00:06:55,451 That both your future self and my future self 205 00:06:55,486 --> 00:06:57,232 Got caught in a "matrix-Anx" time plane? 206 00:06:57,267 --> 00:06:59,567 Well, we both got the same teacher for homeroom, too. 207 00:06:59,602 --> 00:07:01,033 You didn't say anything then. 208 00:07:01,068 --> 00:07:01,732 Here it is. 209 00:07:01,767 --> 00:07:03,666 There has to be something- 210 00:07:03,701 --> 00:07:05,667 Wait, what's this? This expires in 2002. 211 00:07:05,702 --> 00:07:07,634 Why would he have this in his wallet? 212 00:07:07,669 --> 00:07:09,101 I don't follow. 213 00:07:09,136 --> 00:07:10,418 3451 colfax avenue. 214 00:07:10,453 --> 00:07:11,666 Come on, butters! 215 00:07:11,701 --> 00:07:14,000 Ooh, are we off on an adventure?! 216 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,067 Here it is- Motivationcorp. 217 00:07:25,834 --> 00:07:27,401 I don't think we're supposed to go in there, stan. 218 00:07:27,436 --> 00:07:28,968 Maybe we should go adventuring somewhere else. 219 00:07:29,003 --> 00:07:30,985 Butters, part of being on an adventure 220 00:07:31,020 --> 00:07:32,968 Is you go places you're not supposed to! 221 00:07:33,003 --> 00:07:33,866 Oh! 222 00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:36,033 Well, you're good at adventurin', huh, stan? 223 00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:45,532 What the hell is going on here? 224 00:07:45,567 --> 00:07:46,650 And it should take about a month 225 00:07:46,685 --> 00:07:47,734 To achieve the results you want. 226 00:07:47,769 --> 00:07:50,132 Well, mr. And mrs. Brooks, 227 00:07:50,167 --> 00:07:52,400 I think you're gonna be very pleased with the results. 228 00:07:52,435 --> 00:07:53,732 We sure hope so. 229 00:07:53,767 --> 00:07:56,367 We just don't know how to talk to our son about drugs. 230 00:07:56,402 --> 00:07:57,968 Well, now you won't have to. 231 00:07:58,003 --> 00:07:59,132 Ah, here he is. 232 00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:00,098 This is josh cashner, 233 00:08:00,133 --> 00:08:01,300 He'll be playing the role of your future son. 234 00:08:01,335 --> 00:08:04,400 Nice to meet you- "Mom and dad"! 235 00:08:05,868 --> 00:08:08,367 My goodness, he does look a little like kevin. 236 00:08:08,402 --> 00:08:10,300 Yes, and he knows all your family history 237 00:08:10,335 --> 00:08:11,499 And every detail of your house. 238 00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:14,150 And, he's worked up quite a future for your son! 239 00:08:14,185 --> 00:08:16,767 I'm going to tell him that i dropped out of school 240 00:08:16,802 --> 00:08:18,434 And went to prison for eight years 241 00:08:18,469 --> 00:08:19,901 Where i was sodomized! 242 00:08:19,936 --> 00:08:21,032 In the ass! 243 00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,334 Ooh-Hoo, that should get kevin to stay clear of drugs. 244 00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:24,766 It sure should! 245 00:08:24,801 --> 00:08:27,667 Alright, so we'll put the fake news report out on tuesday night- 246 00:08:27,702 --> 00:08:29,699 Make sure your son is watching the channel four news. 247 00:08:29,734 --> 00:08:32,501 Oh, and that's when you fake the electrical storm as well? 248 00:08:32,536 --> 00:08:34,532 Motivationcorp takes care of everything. 249 00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:36,267 Just follow these simple scripts when your actor arrives. 250 00:08:36,302 --> 00:08:39,098 "Listen to me, you crazy person. 251 00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:41,834 There's no way you can be from the future." 252 00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:43,833 Ooh! This is going to be fun! 253 00:08:43,868 --> 00:08:45,667 I can't believe it, it's all a scam! 254 00:08:45,702 --> 00:08:46,799 Yeah, i can't believe it! 255 00:08:46,834 --> 00:08:48,667 They've all been lying to us this whole time! 256 00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:49,965 This whole time! 257 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,200 I wonder if my future self knows anything about this. 258 00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:57,033 Hey, maybe my future self remembers this happening 259 00:08:57,068 --> 00:08:59,667 And can shed some light on the subject. 260 00:08:59,702 --> 00:09:00,699 Butters, don't you get it?! 261 00:09:00,734 --> 00:09:02,098 Those assholes aren't our future selves, 262 00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:04,266 Our parents hired them to make us more motivated! 263 00:09:04,301 --> 00:09:06,601 But then why did they come back to the past? 264 00:09:06,636 --> 00:09:08,901 They didn't come back to the past, you dumbass! 265 00:09:08,936 --> 00:09:09,167 They're actors! 266 00:09:09,202 --> 00:09:11,068 Oh. 267 00:09:11,103 --> 00:09:12,899 Ohh... 268 00:09:12,934 --> 00:09:14,367 But that's like they're lying. 269 00:09:14,402 --> 00:09:15,599 It is lying, butters. 270 00:09:15,634 --> 00:09:17,400 Your parents lied to you and my parents lied to me! 271 00:09:17,435 --> 00:09:18,466 Get it?! 272 00:09:18,501 --> 00:09:20,098 Ooh, that makes me angry. 273 00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:23,767 Why, if professor chaos were here he would make everyone pay! 274 00:09:23,802 --> 00:09:24,732 Who's that? 275 00:09:24,767 --> 00:09:25,799 You know, professor chaos- 276 00:09:25,834 --> 00:09:27,267 Bringer of destruction and disorder! 277 00:09:27,302 --> 00:09:28,065 What? 278 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,466 Follow me back home, stan. 279 00:09:29,501 --> 00:09:32,734 It's time i let you in on a horrible secret. 280 00:09:34,968 --> 00:09:36,032 Wait right here, stan. 281 00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:38,467 I warn you, you may not like what you're about to see. 282 00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:41,933 We have to teach our parents a lesson. 283 00:09:41,968 --> 00:09:43,200 Show them they can't just play with our emotions like that. 284 00:09:43,235 --> 00:09:46,699 Ha ha ha haaaa! 285 00:09:46,734 --> 00:09:49,367 Now you know my terrible secret! 286 00:09:49,402 --> 00:09:50,866 You're gay? 287 00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:52,200 That's fine if you're gay, butters, i don't care. 288 00:09:52,235 --> 00:09:53,998 Huh? 289 00:09:54,033 --> 00:09:54,998 No, i'm professor chaos. 290 00:09:55,033 --> 00:09:56,467 We have to teach our parents a lesson, butters! 291 00:09:56,502 --> 00:09:57,799 We're running away! 292 00:09:57,834 --> 00:09:59,934 Help me find the perfect place to run away to! 293 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:03,767 Mmm... maybe i used a little too much silver. 294 00:10:07,501 --> 00:10:08,968 How about this- Winter park. 295 00:10:09,003 --> 00:10:09,766 It looks kinda nice. 296 00:10:09,801 --> 00:10:11,567 No, we gotta run away somewhere warm. 297 00:10:11,602 --> 00:10:13,265 Oh, look at this, stan. 298 00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:14,599 "Are you sick of your parents? 299 00:10:14,634 --> 00:10:16,883 "Do you want revenge for something they've done to you? 300 00:10:16,918 --> 00:10:19,133 "Call the parental revenge center of western america 301 00:10:19,168 --> 00:10:20,267 "For a free consultation. 302 00:10:20,302 --> 00:10:22,599 Results guaranteed." 303 00:10:22,634 --> 00:10:23,667 Dude, i didn't know there was such a thing! 304 00:10:23,702 --> 00:10:26,866 Hey look, somebody lost their cat. 305 00:10:26,901 --> 00:10:28,968 Uh, hi, is this the parental revenge center 306 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:29,799 Of western america? 307 00:10:29,834 --> 00:10:31,165 Uh, i'm really pissed off at my parents 308 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,334 And i want to impose swift and horrible revenge upon them? 309 00:10:33,369 --> 00:10:34,234 Look, you can make your wiener bigger 310 00:10:34,269 --> 00:10:36,267 In just three weeks. 311 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,265 Oh really? 312 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:39,417 Okay, where are you located, please? 313 00:10:39,452 --> 00:10:41,499 Great, um, can i come by tomorrow? 314 00:10:41,534 --> 00:10:43,701 This lady will come and massage your wiener for $95. 315 00:10:43,736 --> 00:10:45,100 Well, that's a pretty good deal. 316 00:10:45,135 --> 00:10:46,167 11:00 is great, thank you. 317 00:10:46,202 --> 00:10:47,332 That was easy! 318 00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:48,732 I just have to go to their office 319 00:10:48,767 --> 00:10:50,167 And they'll help me figure out how to get back at my parents. 320 00:10:50,202 --> 00:10:52,501 Hey, i wanna get revenge on my douche bag parents too! 321 00:10:52,536 --> 00:10:54,000 Fine, then you can come with me. 322 00:10:54,035 --> 00:10:54,899 Hooray! 323 00:10:54,934 --> 00:10:55,868 And then we can make our wieners bigger 324 00:10:55,903 --> 00:10:57,701 And have a lady massage 'em. 325 00:11:03,701 --> 00:11:05,100 I guess this is it. 326 00:11:08,534 --> 00:11:09,833 Uh, hello? 327 00:11:09,868 --> 00:11:12,000 We're here about revenge on our parents? 328 00:11:12,035 --> 00:11:12,367 Yes, come in, please. 329 00:11:12,402 --> 00:11:14,566 Cartman?! 330 00:11:14,601 --> 00:11:16,534 Oh, stan, butters, i didn't know it was you guys. 331 00:11:16,569 --> 00:11:17,766 What the hell are you doing here? 332 00:11:17,801 --> 00:11:19,732 I'm running a business, stan, are you my 11:00? 333 00:11:19,767 --> 00:11:21,701 You're the parental revenge center of western america? 334 00:11:21,736 --> 00:11:24,133 God dammit, i knew this was too good to be true. 335 00:11:24,168 --> 00:11:25,098 Come on, butters, let's go! 336 00:11:25,133 --> 00:11:26,667 So you don't want to make your parents suffer 337 00:11:26,702 --> 00:11:28,232 And pay for mistreating you then? 338 00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:30,065 Look, i don't know what your parents did to you, 339 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:32,634 But if you're here, i take it they pissed you off pretty good. 340 00:11:32,669 --> 00:11:34,651 Maybe you should at least hear what i have to offer? 341 00:11:34,686 --> 00:11:36,634 I'm sorry, we thought this was a legitimate business. 342 00:11:36,669 --> 00:11:37,933 And it is, i assure you. 343 00:11:37,968 --> 00:11:39,167 I started this business over three months ago, 344 00:11:39,202 --> 00:11:40,866 From the ground up. 345 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,934 I've been helping children get back at their parents ever since. 346 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,467 How many parents have you exacted revenge upon? 347 00:11:44,502 --> 00:11:46,098 Craig's. And clyde's. 348 00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:47,716 Oh, and kyle's. But that was a freebie. 349 00:11:47,751 --> 00:11:49,265 Look, i run a legitimate business here 350 00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:51,267 With state-Of-The-Art computers, charts and technology. 351 00:11:51,302 --> 00:11:52,566 Look around you. 352 00:11:52,601 --> 00:11:55,567 I know how it feels to be really, really pissed off at your parents. 353 00:11:55,602 --> 00:11:58,032 And i will work hard- For you. 354 00:11:58,067 --> 00:12:01,834 Our moms and dads lied to us about those future selves. 355 00:12:01,869 --> 00:12:02,833 It was just a trick to get us 356 00:12:02,868 --> 00:12:04,501 To not want to try drugs or alcohol. 357 00:12:04,536 --> 00:12:05,666 God dammit. 358 00:12:05,701 --> 00:12:07,334 See, this is exactly why i started this business. 359 00:12:07,369 --> 00:12:09,200 If a parent can't respect their child, 360 00:12:09,235 --> 00:12:10,234 Then who can they respect, huh? 361 00:12:10,269 --> 00:12:11,699 Yeah! 362 00:12:11,734 --> 00:12:13,734 Listen, parents understand one thing, and that's consequences. 363 00:12:13,769 --> 00:12:15,601 They need to see consequences from their actions 364 00:12:15,636 --> 00:12:16,899 Or else they'll never learn. 365 00:12:16,934 --> 00:12:19,250 What my company does is inflicts those consequences 366 00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:21,567 Upon the parents in a very real and very direct way. 367 00:12:21,602 --> 00:12:23,334 How much is this going to cost us? 368 00:12:23,369 --> 00:12:26,067 $18,000. 369 00:12:27,634 --> 00:12:29,400 How about just 387 easy payments 370 00:12:29,435 --> 00:12:30,234 Of 199.95? 371 00:12:33,701 --> 00:12:35,532 How about five bucks? 372 00:12:35,567 --> 00:12:38,934 So everything is working out with your future actor? 373 00:12:38,969 --> 00:12:40,432 Your son seems to be responding? 374 00:12:40,467 --> 00:12:41,267 I think he's pretty scared all right. 375 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,065 It's just a little weird 376 00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:45,150 Having to keep lying to our boy like this. 377 00:12:45,185 --> 00:12:47,165 Well you know what us ultra-Liberals say. 378 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,434 "When it comes to children and drugs, lies are okay." 379 00:12:50,469 --> 00:12:52,499 The ends justify the means. 380 00:12:52,534 --> 00:12:53,933 Well, take smoking for instance- 381 00:12:53,968 --> 00:12:55,601 The truth is there's no hard evidence 382 00:12:55,636 --> 00:12:57,065 That secondhand smoke can kill, 383 00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:59,300 But we believe it's okay to lie about it 384 00:12:59,335 --> 00:13:01,501 As long as it gets people to stop smoking. 385 00:13:01,536 --> 00:13:02,699 Well, that makes sense. 386 00:13:02,734 --> 00:13:04,834 So it is with everything here at motivationcorp. 387 00:13:04,869 --> 00:13:06,701 It's okay for us to lie and tell kids 388 00:13:06,736 --> 00:13:08,499 That all marijuana supports terrorism, 389 00:13:08,534 --> 00:13:10,032 Or that one pill of ecstasy is gonna kill them. 390 00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:14,000 It's not necessarily true, but the ends justify the means. 391 00:13:14,035 --> 00:13:16,234 I think that when this is all over 392 00:13:16,269 --> 00:13:17,501 Our son is gonna thank us. 393 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:21,933 Okay, butters, let's start with you. 394 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,267 I think i found a great way to get revenge on your parents. 395 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:24,701 Tell me if i'm going in the right direction here. 396 00:13:24,736 --> 00:13:25,933 What we're gonna do, butters, 397 00:13:25,968 --> 00:13:28,684 Is wait for your parents to leave the house, 398 00:13:28,719 --> 00:13:31,400 And then, smear all the walls- With poop. 399 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:33,098 Huh! That'll make 'em awful sore! 400 00:13:33,133 --> 00:13:35,267 Now, i want you to take a look at some of these poop swatches. 401 00:13:35,302 --> 00:13:36,532 Poop swatches? 402 00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:38,167 Poop comes in a lot of varieties, butters, 403 00:13:38,202 --> 00:13:38,998 I wanna find the perfect one, 404 00:13:39,033 --> 00:13:40,968 Tailored to your revenge on your parents. 405 00:13:41,003 --> 00:13:42,532 Hey, that's neat-O, huh, stan? 406 00:13:42,567 --> 00:13:44,267 Personally, i like the "baby green". 407 00:13:44,302 --> 00:13:45,968 But i also think that "classic brown" 408 00:13:46,003 --> 00:13:47,332 Would go nicely with your house. 409 00:13:47,367 --> 00:13:49,100 Wow, you sure are professional, eric. 410 00:13:49,135 --> 00:13:51,051 I don't know which swatch i like best. 411 00:13:51,086 --> 00:13:53,010 Well, you know what we could do, butters, 412 00:13:53,045 --> 00:13:54,899 Is go with baby green in the living room 413 00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:57,133 And then maybe a classic brown or even "nut n' corn crunch" 414 00:13:57,168 --> 00:13:57,634 In your parents bedroom. 415 00:13:57,669 --> 00:13:59,132 That sounds good! 416 00:13:59,167 --> 00:14:01,200 Okay, let's do that then. That'll look nice. 417 00:14:01,235 --> 00:14:02,299 Hooray! 418 00:14:02,334 --> 00:14:03,732 Alright now, stan, 419 00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:05,199 For you've i've put together a really nice design. 420 00:14:05,234 --> 00:14:07,300 I feel your parents were a bit more cocky about lying to you, 421 00:14:07,335 --> 00:14:08,866 And your revenge needs to reflect that. 422 00:14:08,901 --> 00:14:10,667 So what i want to do is put a note on your parents door, 423 00:14:10,702 --> 00:14:12,734 Telling them i'm the counselor from the school. 424 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:13,899 Yeah? 425 00:14:13,934 --> 00:14:15,100 The note will inform them that a problem has come up 426 00:14:15,135 --> 00:14:16,267 And they need to meet me right away, back at my office. 427 00:14:16,302 --> 00:14:18,599 Yeah? 428 00:14:18,634 --> 00:14:20,267 Your parents will drive all the way out to the school 429 00:14:20,302 --> 00:14:21,901 Discovering that no meeting is actually taking place. 430 00:14:21,936 --> 00:14:22,499 Yeah? 431 00:14:22,534 --> 00:14:23,766 And while they're gone, 432 00:14:23,801 --> 00:14:26,300 We're gonna smear all their walls with poop. 433 00:14:26,335 --> 00:14:29,098 Wow! Neat-O! 434 00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:30,232 That's not neat-O, that sucks! 435 00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:32,100 You're gonna smeared butters' parents' walls with poop? 436 00:14:32,135 --> 00:14:33,968 I thought each revenge was unique and customized. 437 00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:35,801 Poop smearing is the hot ticket right now, stan. 438 00:14:35,836 --> 00:14:37,285 Have you seen the poop swatches? 439 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,699 Dude, that's not extreme enough! 440 00:14:38,734 --> 00:14:40,067 My parents aren't gonna learn their lesson 441 00:14:40,102 --> 00:14:41,551 From having some crap smeared on their walls! 442 00:14:41,586 --> 00:14:43,309 I want them to see what they did was wrong. 443 00:14:43,344 --> 00:14:45,033 I want them to admit that they lied to me! 444 00:14:45,068 --> 00:14:46,232 Okay, okay, fine. 445 00:14:46,267 --> 00:14:48,334 Just my first idea, that's why we have these consultations. 446 00:14:48,369 --> 00:14:49,267 Okay, let me see here. 447 00:14:49,302 --> 00:14:51,332 Uh... 448 00:14:51,367 --> 00:14:52,632 Well, this is nice. How about this? 449 00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:53,467 We'll lure your parents out of the house- 450 00:14:53,502 --> 00:14:55,365 And then we'll kill them. 451 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,300 We'll cut them up into little pieces and feed them to a dog. 452 00:14:56,335 --> 00:14:57,365 Dude! 453 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,367 Extreme enough for you? How's wednesday? 454 00:14:58,402 --> 00:15:00,799 No, that's too extreme! 455 00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:02,200 Well, first its not extreme enough, then it's too extreme- 456 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,332 Where do you want it? 457 00:15:03,367 --> 00:15:04,834 Just forget it, cartman, you don't know what you're doing! 458 00:15:04,869 --> 00:15:06,065 I am a professional, sir! 459 00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:09,467 Don't worry, butters, you're gonna be 100% satisfied. 460 00:15:14,133 --> 00:15:15,033 Hey future self. 461 00:15:15,068 --> 00:15:15,899 Yes, former self? 462 00:15:15,934 --> 00:15:17,434 You know that thing that i've kept hidden 463 00:15:17,469 --> 00:15:18,968 In the hole in the wall for two years 464 00:15:19,003 --> 00:15:20,432 That i've never told anybody about? 465 00:15:20,467 --> 00:15:22,300 You know, the thing that i take out of the shoe box 466 00:15:22,335 --> 00:15:24,868 Every night before i go to sleep? 467 00:15:24,903 --> 00:15:26,566 Oh, uh... 468 00:15:26,601 --> 00:15:28,167 You must know what i'm talking about? 469 00:15:28,202 --> 00:15:29,098 Sure, uh, uh... 470 00:15:29,133 --> 00:15:32,234 Oh man, could you all excuse me for a second? 471 00:15:32,269 --> 00:15:34,299 I think i'm gonna crap my pants. 472 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:37,300 Uh, stan, don't you think you're upsetting 473 00:15:37,335 --> 00:15:38,632 Your future self a little? 474 00:15:38,667 --> 00:15:40,901 Yeah, stan, don't be so hard on yourself. 475 00:15:40,936 --> 00:15:41,833 Mom, dad- 476 00:15:41,868 --> 00:15:43,234 I don't think that guy is from the future. 477 00:15:43,269 --> 00:15:47,332 Oh, you, you don't? 478 00:15:47,367 --> 00:15:48,699 No, you know what i think? 479 00:15:48,734 --> 00:15:49,933 I think this is all an elaborate hoax. 480 00:15:49,968 --> 00:15:51,251 And i think that whoever is doing it 481 00:15:51,286 --> 00:15:52,499 Doesn't have very much respect for me. 482 00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:54,833 See, the best way to try to motivate somebody 483 00:15:54,868 --> 00:15:56,200 Is by being direct with them, to be honest with them. 484 00:15:56,235 --> 00:15:58,933 I think this whole future self thing is a lie, 485 00:15:58,968 --> 00:16:00,367 And lies are never the right way to get your message across. 486 00:16:00,402 --> 00:16:03,334 Well, you know what i think, stan? 487 00:16:03,369 --> 00:16:04,599 What? 488 00:16:04,634 --> 00:16:06,100 I think he is from the future! 489 00:16:06,135 --> 00:16:07,065 Yeah, he must be! 490 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,334 It's like, i just feel he's our son, you know? 491 00:16:08,369 --> 00:16:10,767 Right, that's mother's intuition. 492 00:16:10,802 --> 00:16:12,165 You can't argue with that. 493 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,100 No, stan, i think the only way you're gonna get rid of him 494 00:16:14,135 --> 00:16:17,067 Is by staying clear of drugs and alcohol! 495 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,534 Right! 496 00:16:30,801 --> 00:16:32,599 Okay, very nice, very nice. 497 00:16:32,634 --> 00:16:34,299 Oh wait- God dammit, philippe! 498 00:16:34,334 --> 00:16:37,033 The classic brown poop is supposed to go in the parents bedroom. 499 00:16:37,068 --> 00:16:39,300 The living room is supposed to be all baby green poop. 500 00:16:39,335 --> 00:16:41,365 Que? La caca no esta aqul? 501 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,432 La caca de moreno alta, si? 502 00:16:42,467 --> 00:16:44,200 Aqul es verde, senor, es verde! 503 00:16:44,235 --> 00:16:45,534 Arriba! Arriba! 504 00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:46,799 Si, si, senor! 505 00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:48,034 Bien, gracias. E tu? 506 00:16:48,069 --> 00:16:49,199 Carlos! Carlos, no! 507 00:16:49,234 --> 00:16:51,467 We want a textured effect on the nut n' corn crunch poop! 508 00:16:51,502 --> 00:16:53,534 That's why we spackle with the sponge, see? 509 00:16:53,569 --> 00:16:55,318 Spackle gently. La marrdo. 510 00:16:55,353 --> 00:16:57,067 Gently, see? Marrdo. 511 00:16:57,102 --> 00:16:57,666 Si, marrdo. 512 00:16:57,701 --> 00:17:00,033 Marrrdo, spectacularrr. 513 00:17:00,068 --> 00:17:00,899 Si. 514 00:17:00,934 --> 00:17:02,098 Ugh, so hard to find good help. 515 00:17:02,133 --> 00:17:03,868 Ah, butters! Like what you're seeing so far? 516 00:17:03,903 --> 00:17:05,368 Boy, it sure is stinky in here. 517 00:17:05,403 --> 00:17:06,799 Yeah, well, 300 gallons of poop 518 00:17:06,834 --> 00:17:08,334 Isn't gonna smell like a garden, butters. 519 00:17:08,369 --> 00:17:09,834 But i think it's coming together real nice. 520 00:17:09,869 --> 00:17:11,065 Look, eric, i been thinking, 521 00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:12,767 My parents sure are gonna be awful sore and i don't- 522 00:17:12,802 --> 00:17:14,467 Yes, well, i've done my job, haven't i? 523 00:17:14,502 --> 00:17:15,466 Pepete! Pepete, no! 524 00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:18,801 No come la taco en la trabajar! 525 00:17:20,501 --> 00:17:22,767 Yes, well, it's hard to find work in commercials 526 00:17:22,802 --> 00:17:23,699 So i ended up- Oh, stan! 527 00:17:23,734 --> 00:17:26,199 Oh dude, how's it going, man? 528 00:17:26,234 --> 00:17:29,467 Hey, you wanna go upstairs and play hide and go seek? 529 00:17:29,502 --> 00:17:30,599 Hide and go seek, huh? 530 00:17:30,634 --> 00:17:32,067 Yeah, stan, why don't you go upstairs 531 00:17:32,102 --> 00:17:32,965 And play with yourself. 532 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,699 I don't believe that he's my future self. 533 00:17:34,734 --> 00:17:37,034 Yeah, but we can't be sure, so we better assume he is 534 00:17:37,069 --> 00:17:39,334 And never try that first marijuana cigarette, huh? 535 00:17:39,369 --> 00:17:41,300 No, actually, i have a way to be sure. 536 00:17:41,335 --> 00:17:43,866 I'm going to cut off my hand. 537 00:17:43,901 --> 00:17:46,701 If he is my future self, then his hand will disappear. 538 00:17:46,736 --> 00:17:47,467 Stanley, you don't need to do that! 539 00:17:47,502 --> 00:17:49,265 He is your future self! 540 00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:51,167 But i have to know for sure. 541 00:17:51,202 --> 00:17:52,432 Don't be silly, stan, 542 00:17:52,467 --> 00:17:53,968 You don't wanna go through life without one of your hands. 543 00:17:54,003 --> 00:17:55,234 Maybe it's the hand i smoked that first joint with. 544 00:17:55,269 --> 00:17:58,400 Here i go, i'm gonna do it. 545 00:17:58,435 --> 00:17:59,751 Stan! 546 00:17:59,786 --> 00:18:01,032 Yes? 547 00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:02,234 Uh, nothing, go ahead. 548 00:18:02,269 --> 00:18:03,801 Randy! 549 00:18:03,836 --> 00:18:05,299 Aaagh! 550 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,801 Oooooh! Oh my god, look! 551 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,199 Aaaagh! 552 00:18:10,234 --> 00:18:11,984 Why, his hand did disappear! 553 00:18:12,019 --> 00:18:13,559 He is you from the future! 554 00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:15,065 Oh, jesus christ, help me! 555 00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:18,267 That's weird, because i didn't really cut off my hand- 556 00:18:18,302 --> 00:18:19,666 It was fake. 557 00:18:19,701 --> 00:18:23,165 Uh, look, it was fake in the future too! 558 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,367 Looks like you better really watch out for marijuana, 559 00:18:25,402 --> 00:18:26,634 Huh, stan? 560 00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:29,699 Well, butters, i hope you like the work. 561 00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,667 I'm sure your parents will be plenty pissed off. 562 00:18:31,702 --> 00:18:32,732 And after my parents get angry 563 00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:34,517 How do we get the poop off the walls? 564 00:18:34,552 --> 00:18:36,267 Ooh, uh, that's a different company. 565 00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:39,267 Oh, someone's here, we better run out the back. 566 00:18:39,302 --> 00:18:40,334 Pepete! Carlos! 567 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:41,332 Vamanos! 568 00:18:41,367 --> 00:18:42,283 But cartman, wait! 569 00:18:42,318 --> 00:18:43,200 Oh, christmas. 570 00:18:44,701 --> 00:18:46,032 Butters! Oh, stan! 571 00:18:46,067 --> 00:18:47,367 Butters, we- Oh god, it smells in here. 572 00:18:47,402 --> 00:18:49,318 Yeah, well, 300 gallons of poop 573 00:18:49,353 --> 00:18:50,943 Isn't gonna smell like a garden. 574 00:18:50,978 --> 00:18:52,534 Butters, we're running away. 575 00:18:52,569 --> 00:18:53,933 We are? 576 00:18:53,968 --> 00:18:55,367 Our parents are never gonna admit what they did was wrong, 577 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:56,434 And they're never gonna change. 578 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:57,868 What the hell is this?! 579 00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,232 Oh my god, our house! 580 00:18:59,267 --> 00:19:01,934 Oh jeez, i'm gonna get it now. 581 00:19:01,969 --> 00:19:02,799 Butters! 582 00:19:02,834 --> 00:19:04,867 Do you have an explanation for this?! 583 00:19:04,902 --> 00:19:07,068 Well, not really, sir, i just thought- 584 00:19:07,103 --> 00:19:09,234 Wait a minute, chris- Don't you see? 585 00:19:09,269 --> 00:19:10,868 This might be our fault. 586 00:19:10,903 --> 00:19:11,732 Wh- I- 587 00:19:11,767 --> 00:19:13,566 My god, you're right, linda. 588 00:19:13,601 --> 00:19:15,267 This is what we get for deceiving our son. 589 00:19:15,302 --> 00:19:17,499 Huh?! 590 00:19:17,534 --> 00:19:18,701 Butters, listen, the whole future self thing, 591 00:19:18,736 --> 00:19:20,499 Well, it was a dirty fib. 592 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,801 We just so desperately wanted you to never try drugs 593 00:19:22,836 --> 00:19:24,434 That we used a big scare tactic 594 00:19:24,469 --> 00:19:25,998 Instead of telling you the truth. 595 00:19:26,033 --> 00:19:28,166 We thought the ends justified the means, 596 00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,300 But they don't. They just don't, son! 597 00:19:31,267 --> 00:19:33,901 We're sorry, baby! 598 00:19:34,601 --> 00:19:36,434 Get the outta here. 599 00:19:36,469 --> 00:19:37,399 Stan! Stan! 600 00:19:37,434 --> 00:19:38,817 Oh, okay, you might be wondering 601 00:19:38,852 --> 00:19:40,200 Why butters has a future self too. 602 00:19:40,235 --> 00:19:42,432 Yes, well, you see, son, 603 00:19:42,467 --> 00:19:44,167 The time matrix pulled in more people from- 604 00:19:44,202 --> 00:19:45,666 Oh, stop it, you guys! 605 00:19:45,701 --> 00:19:47,065 I know all about motivationcorp! 606 00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:48,567 All i've been trying to get you guys to do 607 00:19:48,602 --> 00:19:50,167 Is admit that you lied to me! 608 00:19:50,202 --> 00:19:51,432 Oh... 609 00:19:51,467 --> 00:19:53,233 Well, son, we've just been trying to make sure 610 00:19:53,268 --> 00:19:55,217 You know how dangerous drugs like pot are. 611 00:19:55,252 --> 00:19:57,132 I've been told a lot of things about pot, 612 00:19:57,167 --> 00:19:58,400 But i've come to find out a lot of those things aren't true! 613 00:19:58,435 --> 00:20:00,267 So i don't know what to believe! 614 00:20:00,302 --> 00:20:02,032 Well, stan, the truth is 615 00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:04,133 Marijuana probably isn't going to make you kill people. 616 00:20:04,168 --> 00:20:06,799 And most likely isn't gonna fund terrorists. 617 00:20:06,834 --> 00:20:09,667 But, well, son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored. 618 00:20:09,702 --> 00:20:10,933 And it's when you're bored 619 00:20:10,968 --> 00:20:12,566 That you should be learning some new skill 620 00:20:12,601 --> 00:20:14,868 Or discovering some new science or being creative. 621 00:20:14,903 --> 00:20:16,968 If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out 622 00:20:17,003 --> 00:20:18,699 That you aren't good at anything. 623 00:20:18,734 --> 00:20:20,400 I really, really wish you just would've told me that 624 00:20:20,435 --> 00:20:22,300 From the beginning. 625 00:20:22,335 --> 00:20:23,532 He's right. 626 00:20:23,567 --> 00:20:24,534 If we use lies and exaggerations 627 00:20:24,569 --> 00:20:25,998 To keep kids off drugs, 628 00:20:26,033 --> 00:20:27,901 Then they're never gonna believe anything we tell them. 629 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:30,901 Well there's only one person i can blame- 630 00:20:30,936 --> 00:20:32,418 Motivationcorp! 631 00:20:32,453 --> 00:20:33,866 Oh, god! 632 00:20:33,901 --> 00:20:36,200 Who smeared crap all over our walls?! 633 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,399 Oh jesus, it smells, ohh! 634 00:20:38,434 --> 00:20:40,283 You really did a nice job, eric. 635 00:20:40,318 --> 00:20:42,133 Yup, i gotta admit you came through. 636 00:20:42,168 --> 00:20:43,933 Thank you. 637 00:20:43,968 --> 00:20:44,667 I thought the "hangover black" went really nice in the lobby. 638 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:46,065 Well, here, eric, 639 00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:47,334 I cooked you a huge box of cookies as a present. 640 00:20:47,369 --> 00:20:48,833 Thanks! 641 00:20:48,868 --> 00:20:50,265 But you know, all this talk about future selves 642 00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:52,967 Has made me think maybe i should take better care of myself. 643 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,634 I mean, maybe i should think about who i'm gonna become. 644 00:20:55,669 --> 00:20:58,167 Atta boy, eric, you made the right choice! 645 00:20:58,202 --> 00:20:59,232 Who the hell are you? 646 00:20:59,267 --> 00:21:00,850 Ha ha! It's me, cartman! 647 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:02,243 You from the future! 648 00:21:02,278 --> 00:21:03,566 I came back to tell you 649 00:21:03,601 --> 00:21:05,866 That this is the day you turn it all around! 650 00:21:05,901 --> 00:21:08,367 You stop eating junk food, you start studying harder, 651 00:21:08,402 --> 00:21:10,065 You stay away from drugs and alcohol 652 00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:13,934 And you become c.E.O. Of your own time travel company! 653 00:21:13,969 --> 00:21:16,933 Oh wow, really? That's so awesome! 654 00:21:16,968 --> 00:21:19,067 Now i'll really work to be successful! 655 00:21:19,102 --> 00:21:19,833 Right on! 656 00:21:19,868 --> 00:21:22,100 Go have sex with yourself, asshole! 657 00:21:22,135 --> 00:21:23,032 I'm not that stupid! 658 00:21:23,067 --> 00:21:25,233 Just for that i gonna spend my whole childhood 659 00:21:25,268 --> 00:21:27,400 Eating what i want and doing drugs when i want! 660 00:21:27,435 --> 00:21:29,434 Whatevah, i do what i want! 661 00:21:29,469 --> 00:21:30,901 No, wait! 662 00:21:32,567 --> 00:21:34,667 Aw, god dammit!