1 00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:11,070 I'm going out to South Park gonna have myself a time 2 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:14,406 Friendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation 3 00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:17,743 I'm goin out to south park gonna leave my woes behind 4 00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:21,080 Ample parking day or night people spouting howdy neighbor 5 00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:24,208 I'm heading out to south park to see if i cant unwind 6 00:00:24,416 --> 00:00:27,545 I like girls with big fat titties really big fat titties 7 00:00:27,753 --> 00:00:30,880 So come on out to south park and meet some friends of mine 8 00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,120 Episode 10x07 "Tsst" 9 00:00:34,552 --> 00:00:38,094 Mrs. Cartman, we have had it with your son's behavior, mkay?! 10 00:00:38,135 --> 00:00:41,552 Little Billy Turner is now being treated at the hospital! 11 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,492 Eric, why would you do such a thing? 12 00:00:44,570 --> 00:00:48,253 I'm sorry I handcuffed Billy Turner's ankle to the school flagpole. 13 00:00:48,283 --> 00:00:49,897 You know that's not the point! 14 00:00:49,927 --> 00:00:52,970 Okay, I'm sorry I handcuffed Billy Turner's ankle to a flagpole 15 00:00:52,971 --> 00:00:55,848 and then gave him a hacksaw. And then told him I had poisoned his lunch milk 16 00:00:55,849 --> 00:00:58,669 and that the only way he could get to the antidote in time would be to saw through his leg. 17 00:00:58,697 --> 00:01:02,011 That's very naughty, Eric. - Well he called me chubby! 18 00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:05,817 We have tried at this school to make Eric understand that there are boundaries, mkay?! 19 00:01:05,845 --> 00:01:09,565 But frankly, we believe his behavioral problems start at home! 20 00:01:09,690 --> 00:01:12,564 I know. I know he's out of control. 21 00:01:12,565 --> 00:01:15,215 But... you don't know what it's like. 22 00:01:18,439 --> 00:01:23,217 I'm sorry. It's just that... he seems to get worse every day. 23 00:01:23,745 --> 00:01:26,675 He just never listens. 24 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:31,328 Well nice goin', asshole! You made my mom cry! 25 00:01:32,481 --> 00:01:35,370 It's not him, it's you, Eric. 26 00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,863 I don't know what to do with you. 27 00:01:37,901 --> 00:01:40,293 Sure you do. You're a great mom. 28 00:01:40,318 --> 00:01:43,498 Who's got the greatest mom in the world? I do. 29 00:01:43,665 --> 00:01:46,945 My mom is number one in my heart. It's true! 30 00:01:47,028 --> 00:01:49,709 My mom's the best mom, better than your mom. 31 00:01:49,736 --> 00:01:52,696 It's singing together in harmony. 32 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,612 Mrs. Cartman, I know this is extremely difficult 33 00:01:55,654 --> 00:01:58,534 but there is help out there for people like you. 34 00:01:59,034 --> 00:02:03,103 Have you ever heard of a show called Nanny 911? 35 00:02:06,352 --> 00:02:08,796 They're every parent's worst nightmare. 36 00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:10,908 Shut up! I hate you! I hate you! 37 00:02:10,949 --> 00:02:13,227 Kids completely out of control. 38 00:02:13,470 --> 00:02:15,651 Look, I'm skating, I'm skating! 39 00:02:15,929 --> 00:02:18,665 It's time to call Nanny 911. 40 00:02:20,630 --> 00:02:25,019 We've gathered a team of world-class nannies to help families in crisis. 41 00:02:26,831 --> 00:02:29,803 Parents of America, help is on the way! 42 00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:33,952 Tonight... - Mom, I need another energy drink! 43 00:02:33,966 --> 00:02:37,286 This eight year old son of a single parent just won't behave. 44 00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:39,902 Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten! 45 00:02:39,944 --> 00:02:43,513 And Nanny Stella is selected to set him straight. 46 00:02:44,070 --> 00:02:49,834 It's time for Nanny Stella to show Eric Cartman his ways are not going to be tolerated anymore! 47 00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:57,858 Mom, are you deaf?! Somebody's at the door! 48 00:02:58,150 --> 00:03:00,789 Yes. I think it's the nanny, boopsiekins. 49 00:03:01,053 --> 00:03:03,180 Killer. I'm gonna be on TV now. 50 00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:05,819 Hello. I'm Nanny Stella. 51 00:03:05,903 --> 00:03:08,203 Oh, thank you so much for coming. Please come in. 52 00:03:09,748 --> 00:03:11,748 And you must be Eric. 53 00:03:11,834 --> 00:03:14,512 Mom, I want a Twinkie. - All, all right dear. 54 00:03:14,609 --> 00:03:18,920 Hold on, Mrs. Cartman. There are going to be some rule changes around here, Eric. 55 00:03:18,976 --> 00:03:22,420 First of all, no video games until chores are done. 56 00:03:23,365 --> 00:03:24,976 Hah! Hahahaha! 57 00:03:25,143 --> 00:03:28,615 I'm serious. Let's put down the video game and go to the kitchen. 58 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,532 No thanks, I'd rather naught. 59 00:03:30,545 --> 00:03:32,811 Right. Then I'm going to have to take it. 60 00:03:33,508 --> 00:03:35,675 The hell do you think you're doing? - Come on. 61 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:40,609 This video game is going right here on the counter until we've done some chores. 62 00:03:40,817 --> 00:03:43,804 Now, first thing we're going to do is make your bed. 63 00:03:44,998 --> 00:03:47,345 Eric, no! This is not acceptable! 64 00:03:47,581 --> 00:03:49,745 Stop trying to bogart my X-Box, you fat bitch! 65 00:03:49,989 --> 00:03:52,961 All right, that's it! You're going to time-out! 66 00:03:53,392 --> 00:03:54,110 Time out? 67 00:03:54,253 --> 00:03:58,739 Whenever you are naughty, Eric, you are going to sit on this stool for five minutes. 68 00:04:00,034 --> 00:04:02,437 And what exactly keeps me on the stool? 69 00:04:02,757 --> 00:04:06,312 It's the time-out stool. You can't get down until the time is up. 70 00:04:08,668 --> 00:04:10,626 Whoa, how did I do that? 71 00:04:13,048 --> 00:04:15,229 Eric, you have to stay in time-out! 72 00:04:15,479 --> 00:04:16,812 Ummm, no? 73 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,937 Come on, you don't have a choice. 74 00:04:19,409 --> 00:04:21,388 All right, seriously, you're starting to piss me off now. 75 00:04:21,416 --> 00:04:24,582 Eric, you need to listen to me. This is very important. 76 00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:28,959 I am getting down to eye level with Eric so that I can talk to him on his level. 77 00:04:29,056 --> 00:04:32,973 Eric, you need to understand why you are being punished. All right? 78 00:04:33,126 --> 00:04:34,931 I'm just gonna get down as soon as you move. 79 00:04:34,973 --> 00:04:38,014 Well then, I'll just have to stand right here! 80 00:04:39,792 --> 00:04:40,459 Oh! 81 00:04:41,306 --> 00:04:43,239 He spit in my mouth! 82 00:04:43,336 --> 00:04:45,836 Yeah, it's best to avoid his level. 83 00:04:46,114 --> 00:04:50,702 All right! I've dealt with this before! We just need to use psychology on him! 84 00:04:50,994 --> 00:04:55,549 Don't stop believing. Hold on to that feeling. 85 00:04:55,577 --> 00:04:58,646 Eric, can I just talk to you for a quick second? 86 00:04:59,650 --> 00:05:02,914 Why are you so angry? - Because you took my X-Box. 87 00:05:02,983 --> 00:05:05,191 Is this about more than your video game? 88 00:05:05,247 --> 00:05:09,139 Are you feeling angry at me because you think I'm here to change your life? 89 00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:11,445 Well, yeah. 90 00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:15,598 And you're feeling like I have no right to come in and tell you how to live. 91 00:05:15,917 --> 00:05:17,590 Yeah. I guess so. 92 00:05:17,798 --> 00:05:21,743 See this? You have to take the time to talk to your children about their feelings. 93 00:05:22,062 --> 00:05:23,964 What else are you feeling, Eric? 94 00:05:24,382 --> 00:05:28,765 Well, I'm feeling confused, because I don't understand why you became a nanny. 95 00:05:29,335 --> 00:05:33,307 Me? Well, it's because I love children, like you. 96 00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:37,765 Right, but... if you love children so much, how come you're not a mommy? 97 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:41,414 Oh, I just never had kids. - Why not? 98 00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:44,402 It... just... didn't happen. 99 00:05:45,009 --> 00:05:46,884 You're sterile, is that it? 100 00:05:47,426 --> 00:05:49,631 No, that's too convenient of an excuse. 101 00:05:49,658 --> 00:05:53,159 The truth is, nobody ever wanted to have babies with you. Isn't that it? 102 00:05:53,423 --> 00:05:55,549 Always the mom's maid and never the mom? 103 00:05:55,591 --> 00:05:58,549 Must be hard on you, knowing that the years are ticking away. 104 00:05:58,581 --> 00:06:02,161 Your friends all getting married and all the while your uterus is slowly shriveling away. 105 00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:04,978 Drying up, becoming totally worthless. 106 00:06:05,214 --> 00:06:10,384 Why you, you... you little bastard! How dare you?! 107 00:06:10,509 --> 00:06:13,345 Eric, naughty. - What kind of monster would- 108 00:06:13,346 --> 00:06:16,217 Yes, let the anger come! Strike me down while you can! 109 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,560 But it won't make your dried-up ovaries any more fertile! 110 00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:20,679 That's it! I'm not doing this! 111 00:06:20,706 --> 00:06:22,453 Oh, but we really need some help. 112 00:06:22,473 --> 00:06:26,035 Find yourself another nanny... televison show! 113 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,598 Coming up next, it's Super Nanny! 114 00:06:29,865 --> 00:06:32,643 Where other nannies fail, Nanny Jo comes through. 115 00:06:43,393 --> 00:06:46,337 This child's behavior is totally unacceptable! 116 00:06:48,786 --> 00:06:51,425 But there's no trial too tough for Super Nanny! 117 00:06:51,481 --> 00:06:55,148 In just three days' time you're going to see a new Eric Cartman. 118 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:58,016 Three Days Later 119 00:06:58,144 --> 00:07:00,144 Slater-Carey Mental Hospital 120 00:07:00,646 --> 00:07:04,092 I'm afraid Super Nanny is in a deep state of mental psychosis. 121 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,259 What do you mean? 122 00:07:05,287 --> 00:07:09,342 I mean, she spends most of her time sobbing and eating her own excrement. 123 00:07:13,715 --> 00:07:17,159 From heeell! It's from heeell! 124 00:07:18,409 --> 00:07:22,825 Oh dear. I don't know what else to do about my son's behavioral problems. 125 00:07:22,852 --> 00:07:26,186 We've been through every nanny reality show on television. 126 00:07:26,575 --> 00:07:29,798 Wull there... is... one more show you could still try. 127 00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,100 Dog Whisperer 128 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:36,323 When good dogs go bad, there's one man who's their best friend. 129 00:07:36,573 --> 00:07:37,878 Cesar Millan. 130 00:07:38,549 --> 00:07:40,771 No dog is too much for me to handle. 131 00:07:40,785 --> 00:07:43,590 I rehabilitate dogs, I train people. 132 00:07:43,701 --> 00:07:46,202 I am the dog wheesperer. 133 00:07:49,376 --> 00:07:51,195 Please, come in. 134 00:07:51,806 --> 00:07:54,264 So tell me what are the problems you are having with the child? 135 00:07:54,306 --> 00:07:56,533 Well, he's just... out of control. 136 00:07:56,535 --> 00:07:59,618 I mean, he never listens to me and he pretty much runs my life. 137 00:07:59,632 --> 00:08:03,146 So the child needs to learn that he's not the most important person in the house. 138 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,549 You can stop talkin' behind my back, I'm right here, fruitcake. 139 00:08:05,590 --> 00:08:08,242 See I'm not looking at the child, I'm not acknowledging the child. 140 00:08:08,243 --> 00:08:10,282 I'm just letting the child know I'm not interested in him. 141 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:11,605 Not interested im me? 142 00:08:11,661 --> 00:08:14,952 See the child thinks your world revolves around him, because it does. 143 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,504 Because everything he does gets a response from you. 144 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:18,882 Yeah, well I don't see why- 145 00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:19,513 Hey! 146 00:08:19,543 --> 00:08:21,087 Don't look at the child, just keep looking at me. 147 00:08:21,117 --> 00:08:23,047 Let, let him know we are having a conversation. 148 00:08:23,075 --> 00:08:24,078 Mom, this guy doesn't- 149 00:08:24,217 --> 00:08:26,262 Ah! Quit it! - What what is it that you're doing? 150 00:08:26,318 --> 00:08:28,899 Dogs show their dominance by nipping each other on the neck 151 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,622 but it works equally well on a child. 152 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:33,270 I just use two fingers, nip at the child's neck, doesn't hurt the child 153 00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:34,654 just let him know I am dominant. 154 00:08:34,698 --> 00:08:37,017 Look, Mexican, if you really think that you can- 155 00:08:37,073 --> 00:08:38,059 Knock it off! 156 00:08:38,795 --> 00:08:42,873 See, I'm not validating his bad behavior with either negative or positive response. 157 00:08:42,901 --> 00:08:44,512 Oh, that's very interesting. 158 00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:47,416 I think the first thing we need to work on is getting the child some exercise. 159 00:08:47,417 --> 00:08:48,883 He's fat and he has all this pent-up energy that- 160 00:08:48,884 --> 00:08:51,046 I'm not fat! - We need to let him burn off. 161 00:08:51,060 --> 00:08:53,894 Do you take walks with your son? - Well, no, I don't. 162 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,167 Go on, take your son for a walk. 163 00:08:57,764 --> 00:08:59,996 Ey! You think this is funny, you sonofabitch? 164 00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:01,788 Once again, I am the one going for a walk. 165 00:09:01,830 --> 00:09:04,343 It's about me, the child is lucky to come along. 166 00:09:04,385 --> 00:09:05,996 Mom, this is degrading! 167 00:09:06,552 --> 00:09:08,760 Agh! Goddamnit! Aaarrgh! 168 00:09:10,234 --> 00:09:13,516 Don't look at him, just look straight ahead and he'll run out of evergy soon. 169 00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:27,595 Maaaa. Mommm. Mommm. 170 00:09:28,275 --> 00:09:29,998 Here, why don't you try it now. Take your son. 171 00:09:30,081 --> 00:09:32,217 Mom, seriously, people are seeing me! 172 00:09:32,258 --> 00:09:35,064 Good. Just keep your confidence, shoulders back, eyes straight ahead. 173 00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:36,827 The child can pick up on that confidence 174 00:09:36,828 --> 00:09:38,967 learning he's supposed to follow you, not lead you. 175 00:09:39,022 --> 00:09:42,022 Mom, don't you love me? Can't you see I'm unhappy right now? 176 00:09:42,823 --> 00:09:43,434 Mom! 177 00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:45,656 Good, Ms. Cartman. Very good! 178 00:09:46,785 --> 00:09:49,507 And now, back to the Dog Whispererrrrr. 179 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,854 It is important to understand that dogs run in packs. 180 00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:58,145 And one dog is always dominant, the pack leader. 181 00:09:58,228 --> 00:09:59,810 God damnit, stop ignoring me! 182 00:09:59,811 --> 00:10:03,990 You must assert yourself as pack leader with dominant energy. 183 00:10:03,991 --> 00:10:04,894 Ah allright. 184 00:10:04,977 --> 00:10:08,310 This is abuse! I am a child, and I am entitled to attention! 185 00:10:09,088 --> 00:10:10,021 Quit it, mom! 186 00:10:10,271 --> 00:10:12,368 It doesn't seem to work as well when I do it. 187 00:10:12,424 --> 00:10:15,591 Okay, let me show you how to express the dominant energy. 188 00:10:16,007 --> 00:10:19,466 What I have done is I have brought over some Kentucky Fried Chicken. 189 00:10:19,845 --> 00:10:20,901 Ooo, Colonel? 190 00:10:20,998 --> 00:10:24,151 I am going to eat first, because that is what the pack leader does. 191 00:10:24,178 --> 00:10:26,373 Give, give me the chicken. Give me some chicken. 192 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,866 Eh, what are you doing? I want chicken! 193 00:10:28,908 --> 00:10:30,103 Give me some Goddamned chicken! 194 00:10:30,131 --> 00:10:34,298 I am not going to acknowledge the child's attempt at aggressive dominant behavior. 195 00:10:34,325 --> 00:10:35,833 Now you eat the chicken. 196 00:10:36,166 --> 00:10:38,360 Mom, gimme, give me some chicken. I want some chicken, Mom! 197 00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:41,541 We won't reward him until he's in a calm submissive behavior. 198 00:10:41,652 --> 00:10:43,485 Goddamnit, I am not a dog! 199 00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:46,486 Give me the chicken. Give, give, give me the chicken. I want the chicken! Chicken! 200 00:10:48,457 --> 00:10:51,292 We need him to become relaxed and submissive. 201 00:10:52,264 --> 00:10:55,676 Okay, I'm fine. I'm cool now. May I have some chicken please? 202 00:10:55,745 --> 00:10:57,426 Oh, very good, sweetie. 203 00:10:57,453 --> 00:11:01,231 Oh no, now he's lying. You can tell from his stance he's still aggressive-dominant. 204 00:11:01,314 --> 00:11:04,217 Suck my asshole, taco vendor! - See? 205 00:11:04,314 --> 00:11:08,132 Goddamnit, you can't stand here and eat KFC in front of me! Now hand it over! 206 00:11:08,270 --> 00:11:09,450 You can't do that to me, I- 207 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,493 Goddamnit, you just can't- 208 00:11:10,619 --> 00:11:12,724 Seriously! Ey? Eh... 209 00:11:15,651 --> 00:11:18,470 I am not being aggressive, I am being dominant. 210 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,415 Wow, I have a lot to learn. 211 00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:23,767 Mom, I am serious! This has gone on long enough! 212 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,211 Get that guy out of here and give me a piece of chicken! 213 00:11:27,864 --> 00:11:29,705 That's how you want it, bitch?! Fine! 214 00:11:30,624 --> 00:11:32,624 I hate you! I'm running away! 215 00:11:33,502 --> 00:11:34,724 Oh, dear. 216 00:11:34,738 --> 00:11:36,863 It's okay, this is all part of the domance struggle. 217 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,835 But what if he does run away. - Let him go. He'll be back. 218 00:11:39,877 --> 00:11:43,116 This a good opportunity for you to relax and enjoy your favorite hobby. 219 00:11:45,389 --> 00:11:47,477 Oh boy, Park Avenue! I'm rich! 220 00:11:49,352 --> 00:11:51,625 Hey guys, I've got some pretty big news. 221 00:11:53,042 --> 00:11:54,306 I ran away from home. 222 00:11:55,570 --> 00:11:58,773 Yeah, my mom just... doesn't care about me anymore, so I moved out. 223 00:11:59,195 --> 00:12:02,374 She didn't even try to stop me. It's gonna be tough livin' on my own. 224 00:12:02,632 --> 00:12:04,187 But I'll get by, somehow. 225 00:12:04,408 --> 00:12:05,798 You can't stay here. 226 00:12:05,867 --> 00:12:07,854 Maybe you didn't hear me! I ran away! 227 00:12:07,881 --> 00:12:09,975 I don't have anywhere to sleep! I'm out on the street! 228 00:12:10,142 --> 00:12:11,683 You're not staying at my house either. 229 00:12:12,249 --> 00:12:14,684 All right, that's fine! Butters, I'll crash with you. 230 00:12:14,794 --> 00:12:17,350 No, my parents won't let me bring homeless people home anymore. 231 00:12:18,142 --> 00:12:20,718 Well what do you guys expect me to do?! Stay at Kenny's house?! 232 00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:23,148 His family's totally poor. I'm not staying with poor people! 233 00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,371 All right, I'll stay with Kenny. Let's go, man. 234 00:12:27,787 --> 00:12:28,829 Fuck you. 235 00:12:29,384 --> 00:12:33,102 Och! Well, I guess now we see just how supportive friends can be! 236 00:12:33,425 --> 00:12:35,341 When the chips are down you won't even lend a hand! 237 00:12:35,383 --> 00:12:37,036 I'll just go sleep on the street somewhere! 238 00:12:37,073 --> 00:12:40,661 Out in the cold! Probably get mugged and gang-raped by some minorities! 239 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,292 You guys'll be sorry when I turn up dead! 240 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,949 Whoopie! G and R Railroad! 241 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:53,485 Hey Jimmy. You're not gonna believe this, but... I ran away from home. 242 00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:56,999 I just... I really need the support of my best friend right now. 243 00:12:58,587 --> 00:12:59,879 Who is your best friend? 244 00:13:00,323 --> 00:13:02,504 You are, Jimmy! We've always been best friends. 245 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,004 We know everything about each other. 246 00:13:05,663 --> 00:13:07,594 What's my last name? 247 00:13:10,136 --> 00:13:11,247 Goddamnit! 248 00:13:13,547 --> 00:13:15,672 Craig, dude, I ran away from home. 249 00:13:15,936 --> 00:13:19,144 You're the first person I came to. I knew you'd take me in off the streets. 250 00:13:20,414 --> 00:13:21,484 But I hate you. 251 00:13:23,081 --> 00:13:24,900 Should that really matter at a time like this? 252 00:13:28,806 --> 00:13:33,514 This is bullcrap! Mom'll break soon. I can outlast her. 253 00:13:37,821 --> 00:13:39,029 All right, I'm back. 254 00:13:39,668 --> 00:13:41,962 Oh Eric, I'm so happy you're home. 255 00:13:42,001 --> 00:13:43,960 Yes, well, hopefully you've learned your lesson! 256 00:13:44,015 --> 00:13:46,436 I've come back, but there's going to be some changes around here. 257 00:13:46,491 --> 00:13:49,602 Look what I did, Eric. I learned how to make Sumie paintings. 258 00:13:49,644 --> 00:13:51,764 I had almost forgotten how artistic I was. 259 00:13:51,824 --> 00:13:53,186 That's super-interesting. 260 00:13:53,213 --> 00:13:55,897 But I've been out living in the streets for almost four hours! 261 00:13:55,924 --> 00:13:57,202 Make me something to eat. 262 00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:59,341 Cesar... - How is the painting going? 263 00:13:59,397 --> 00:14:00,563 Aw, Goddamnit! 264 00:14:00,619 --> 00:14:03,258 Oh look it came back. - Yup, just like you said he would. 265 00:14:03,327 --> 00:14:04,635 What is he still doing here?! 266 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,191 He said he's hungry. What should I do? - Well let's feed it. 267 00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:13,079 What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! 268 00:14:13,121 --> 00:14:14,690 This is just like Auschwitz! 269 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:18,078 This is more aggressive-dominant behavior. Don't nurture it. 270 00:14:18,106 --> 00:14:20,453 Oh my God. Bite-size Snickers? 271 00:14:20,619 --> 00:14:23,272 That's it. I'm calling child-protective services! 272 00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,272 Come on, Ms. Cartman, you must become pack leader. 273 00:14:27,286 --> 00:14:28,217 What do you do? 274 00:14:28,286 --> 00:14:30,152 Eric, if you don't want to eat then 275 00:14:30,166 --> 00:14:32,125 why don't you go brush your teeth and go to bed?! 276 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:35,555 Nooo, you're asking him a favor. Don't ask a favor, dominate! 277 00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:38,141 Mom, I want this guy out of here! You got it? 278 00:14:38,239 --> 00:14:41,877 If he's not gone, in two minutes, I will call social services on you! 279 00:14:42,002 --> 00:14:46,025 You project the dominant energy and he will pick up on it. I promise. 280 00:14:46,336 --> 00:14:49,733 Shoulder back, head high, don't reason with it 281 00:14:49,734 --> 00:14:52,707 don't argue with it, just dominate it. 282 00:14:52,776 --> 00:14:55,119 I am your son and you will listen to me! 283 00:14:55,171 --> 00:14:56,410 You have no right to- 284 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,396 Mon, know it off! I'm not gonna stand for th- 285 00:14:58,910 --> 00:15:00,243 Seriously! Mom- 286 00:15:00,952 --> 00:15:02,235 Why are you... doing this? 287 00:15:02,393 --> 00:15:04,699 Mom?! Mom? Mom... 288 00:15:06,423 --> 00:15:07,490 I did it! 289 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:13,024 You see? You're calm, assertive and in control. 290 00:15:17,892 --> 00:15:19,698 Oh... Oh my gosh! 291 00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:22,310 See? This is the behavior we've been looking for. 292 00:15:22,336 --> 00:15:24,496 This is a relaxed, submissive state. 293 00:15:24,777 --> 00:15:26,485 He's never done this before. 294 00:15:26,513 --> 00:15:29,593 Good. Now you can reward the behavior with praise and attention. 295 00:15:29,705 --> 00:15:33,288 I love you very much, poopsiekins. You're Mommy's sunshine. 296 00:15:34,732 --> 00:15:36,232 Now you can give him a snack. 297 00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:41,706 Good, this is reeally good. Now try a command. 298 00:15:41,734 --> 00:15:44,650 Eric, I want you to go upstairs and brush your teeth. 299 00:15:44,651 --> 00:15:47,670 Then I'll be up to read you a story before bed. 300 00:15:54,722 --> 00:15:56,923 Oh my goodness. I can't believe it. 301 00:15:56,979 --> 00:16:01,437 This is a great first step, but you're gonna have to stay firm and confident. 302 00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:04,423 You are the pack leader now. - I am the pack leader! 303 00:16:04,617 --> 00:16:08,159 Now before you go read your son his story let's go enjoy a nice quiet cup of tea. 304 00:16:08,187 --> 00:16:09,867 Sounds divine! 305 00:16:10,381 --> 00:16:12,909 Who does she think telling me to go brush my teeth?! 306 00:16:19,775 --> 00:16:22,400 Jesus. What's happening to me? 307 00:16:26,518 --> 00:16:28,643 So, how is your son doing, Ms. Cartman? 308 00:16:28,698 --> 00:16:30,406 Oh, he's been amazing, Cesar. 309 00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:33,742 He got an A on his last spelling test and a B+ in history. 310 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:36,094 He's losing weight and he's doing what I tell him. 311 00:16:36,099 --> 00:16:36,960 Thats great! 312 00:16:37,168 --> 00:16:39,890 The best part is I'm not letting him boss me around anymore. 313 00:16:39,918 --> 00:16:41,246 I could have never come out 314 00:16:41,247 --> 00:16:44,400 and have a nice lunch on a Saturday afternoon with a friend before. 315 00:16:44,622 --> 00:16:48,487 Good, Ms. Cartman, sounds like you're treating your son like a son and not like a friend. 316 00:16:48,584 --> 00:16:52,700 There's just one problem, he still fights me every step of the way. 317 00:16:52,769 --> 00:16:54,907 I feel like he's doing what I tell him 318 00:16:54,908 --> 00:16:58,668 but that inside he's still the same angry spoiled child. 319 00:16:58,669 --> 00:16:59,429 Don't worry. 320 00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:03,751 When you correct the behavior, eventually you will see a change in the personality. 321 00:17:03,938 --> 00:17:07,008 Oh Cesar, I'm so happy to have you in my life. 322 00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:14,247 Guys, listen up. I really need your help this time. 323 00:17:14,747 --> 00:17:17,852 I've thought about it a lot and I've decided I have to kill my mom. 324 00:17:18,509 --> 00:17:19,703 Kill your mom? 325 00:17:19,814 --> 00:17:23,189 She doesn't let me wear whatever I want anymore. Things have really gotten out of hand! 326 00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:26,910 My mom must die so I can have a place to live, but without her trying to run my life. 327 00:17:27,049 --> 00:17:29,035 She's like Hitler with all the demands she makes. 328 00:17:29,312 --> 00:17:32,504 Dude, have you lost more weight? - Yes! I've lost almost ten pounds now. 329 00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:36,102 You see what I mean?? I totally know how it felt to be a Jew in the Holocaust now! 330 00:17:36,129 --> 00:17:38,198 I have to kill my mom. It's my only way out. 331 00:17:38,254 --> 00:17:40,088 Dude, don't kill your mom. That's not cool. 332 00:17:40,157 --> 00:17:43,057 She's Hitler! Would you have killed Hitler if you had the chance?! 333 00:17:43,168 --> 00:17:44,375 All right now, here's the plan. 334 00:17:44,376 --> 00:17:47,073 At 9:45 tonight I will sneak out of my room and leave the house 335 00:17:47,074 --> 00:17:48,452 leaving the back door unlocked. 336 00:17:48,572 --> 00:17:50,949 You guys come into the house at 10:30 p.m. sharp 337 00:17:50,950 --> 00:17:53,751 having given me enough time to get down to Perkins to be seen by everyone there. 338 00:17:53,752 --> 00:17:56,106 And then all four of you go upstairs to kill my mom. 339 00:17:56,185 --> 00:17:57,604 Dude, we're not killing your mom. 340 00:17:57,762 --> 00:18:00,012 Well I can't kill her. I'm too obvious a suspect. 341 00:18:00,151 --> 00:18:01,908 Now, when you reach her room, Butters will keep a lookout 342 00:18:01,911 --> 00:18:04,497 while Kenny opens the bedroom door, Kyle puts a pillow over my mom's head 343 00:18:04,498 --> 00:18:06,018 and Stan shoots her in the face. 344 00:18:06,060 --> 00:18:08,074 Where am I supposed to get a gun? - Well I don't know. 345 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,393 That's your job, Stan! Do I have to think of everything here?! 346 00:18:10,441 --> 00:18:11,626 I'm not shooting anybody. 347 00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:13,916 Okay, fine. Butters, you cover my mom's head with a pillow 348 00:18:13,917 --> 00:18:15,078 and Kyle can shoot her in the face. 349 00:18:15,223 --> 00:18:16,168 No, Cartman! 350 00:18:16,223 --> 00:18:18,726 Oh! Well how about I do everything?! How does that sound?! 351 00:18:18,795 --> 00:18:21,045 I'll just do everything while you guys sit here and play video games?! 352 00:18:22,809 --> 00:18:24,392 Fine! I'll do it by myself! 353 00:18:39,447 --> 00:18:43,530 You forced me to do this! You couldn't just love me as a son. 354 00:18:44,349 --> 00:18:46,974 You just had to humiliate and degrade me with your rules. 355 00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:49,209 I won't let you dominate my life anymore! 356 00:18:50,467 --> 00:18:51,842 Goodbye, Mother. 357 00:18:55,708 --> 00:18:56,680 Wait. 358 00:18:57,111 --> 00:19:00,694 Maybe I don't have the right to kill my mom. 359 00:19:01,659 --> 00:19:04,212 No! She's my mom, I can do whatever I want with her! 360 00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:06,420 It's more important that I live the way I want! 361 00:19:06,948 --> 00:19:08,938 She isn't an object you can own. She's a human being. 362 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,412 She isn't an object you can own. She's a human being. 363 00:19:11,509 --> 00:19:14,023 No, she's just... out to make you suffer! 364 00:19:15,485 --> 00:19:18,276 Maybe all these changes are good for me. Maybe... 365 00:19:18,884 --> 00:19:20,554 The world doesn't revolve around me? 366 00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:25,142 Maybe the world doesn't revolve around me. 367 00:19:32,072 --> 00:19:33,975 The world doesn't revolve around me! 368 00:19:34,075 --> 00:19:35,558 Idiot! 369 00:20:00,191 --> 00:20:02,967 Why Eric, you made your own breakfast. 370 00:20:03,010 --> 00:20:05,231 Yeah Mom, it's okay. It's grapefruit and lean han. 371 00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,314 And you're studying before school? 372 00:20:07,425 --> 00:20:10,576 Well, you told me I had to review my homework before class started. 373 00:20:11,704 --> 00:20:14,583 Oh, Eric. I'm very proud of you. 374 00:20:14,957 --> 00:20:16,868 Tha... thank you? 375 00:20:16,937 --> 00:20:18,215 I love you, sweetie. 376 00:20:18,243 --> 00:20:20,118 'K Mom, you're embarrassing me, jeez. 377 00:20:23,741 --> 00:20:25,922 Cesar. I'm so happy you're back. 378 00:20:26,213 --> 00:20:27,491 How is the child doing? 379 00:20:27,533 --> 00:20:31,229 Oh, he's amazing. I think the change in personality happened. 380 00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:34,848 He's doing things for himself now and he seems to be accepting it. 381 00:20:34,849 --> 00:20:37,824 I've lost a best friend, but I've gained a son. 382 00:20:37,863 --> 00:20:41,763 That's much healthier for him and when he gets older he'll be able to be your friend too. 383 00:20:41,863 --> 00:20:43,276 You're the best, Cesar. 384 00:20:43,332 --> 00:20:46,193 and to show my gratitude I've got two tickets for you and me 385 00:20:46,194 --> 00:20:48,491 to see Madame Butterfly this Friday night. 386 00:20:48,566 --> 00:20:51,338 Well no, my work is done. I've got to get back to Los Angeles. 387 00:20:52,296 --> 00:20:55,337 Oh... But I thought we were becoming friends. 388 00:20:55,435 --> 00:20:58,964 No, not really. You're just a client. Well, good luck to you. Gotta go. 389 00:21:03,331 --> 00:21:05,882 I cleared up the table, Mom. I'm gonna go upstairs and make my bed now. 390 00:21:09,078 --> 00:21:13,300 Eric, how would you like to go with me to see Madame Butterfly Friday night? 391 00:21:13,842 --> 00:21:17,462 No, that's okay. Besides, I told Stan and Kyle we could work on our science project then. 392 00:21:18,192 --> 00:21:21,053 Well, what if I took you to Kentucky Fried Chicken afterward? 393 00:21:23,150 --> 00:21:25,963 And then we'll go to Target and I buy you a Mega Ranger. 394 00:21:27,463 --> 00:21:30,744 Could I... perhaps have... two Mega Rangers? 395 00:21:31,547 --> 00:21:34,513 Yes, darling. You can have whatever you want. 396 00:21:42,285 --> 00:21:43,999 Transcipt: spscriptorium Sync: John Smith aka muter 397 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,580 Cya, untill part II of season 10