All characters and events in this show - even those based on real people - are entirely fictional. All celebrity voices are impersonated.....poorly. The following program contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
South Park season 11 episode 1
And now back to Wheel Of Fortune.
Allright, Randy, congratulations on making it all the way to the bonus round.
- Thanks, Pat. - You've got some family here watching tonight.
- Yeah, they're all rooting for me. - And I'm sure you have lots of friends watching back home.
Yeah. Hi everybody watching in South Park!
- That's us! - Ye! Yay! Ahoy, Randy! Good Luck!
Well, let's see if you can make everyone proud. The category is:
- "People who annoy you." - Okay.
As always, we give you the letters R, T, S, L, E.
We just need three more consonants and a vowel.
I'd like B, N, and a G.
- And the vowel? - An O, please.
Okay, well, it looks like you're gonna get a lot of help here.
Category is: People who annoy you.
Audience keep quiet, please.
- Uhh, well, uhh... - Ten seconds, Mr. Marsh.
I know it but I don't think I should say it.
- Five seconds, Mr. Marsh. - Allright, I'd like to solve the puzzle!
Niggers!
"NAGGERS"
Naggers, of course. Naggers. Right.
Can we cut to, uhh... ?
Well, gave it my best shot.
At least we had a fun trip, huh gang?
I can't believe you said the N-word on national television.
What? What was I supposed to do, Sharon? I thought I was gonna make $30,000.
Stanley, the only reason dad used that word is that he thought he would win money.
Dude, did your dad know that the show was being broadcast live?
Dude, that was the funniest thing I've ever seen. I watched it on YouTube about 60 times.
Can we just drop this, please? I don't wanna talk about it.
Yeah well, it's not us you have to worry about.
It's Token.
He's gonna wanna kick your cracker teeth in.
No he's not. Is he?
- I don't know. - I just need to explain things.
Hey, Token. Look, I don't know if you saw Wheel Of Fortune last night, but...
Yeah, I was watching with my whole family. And then we saw the replays this morning on the news.
Listen Token, my dad isn't a racist. He's just stupid, allright?
He just blurted out the N-word, and it's no big deal, okay?
Uh, well, actually it IS kind of a big deal, Stan.
It may be a mistake, but you don't understand how it feels when that word comes up.
So don't say it isn't a big deal.
Oh, sh***, here we go! It's on! Race war!
Race war! Race war!
Race war, it's on, everybody! It's going down, sh*** is going down!
Token, my dad wasn't trying to be offensive. Just forget about it.
- That's easy for you to say, Stan. - Yeah, come on, here we go.
Yeah, but he didn't say it in anger or anything like that.
- That doesn't mean I can just be fine. - Race war, come on, race war.
If you really don't think it's a big deal, then you really are ignorant.
That's all. I'm not fighting anybody.
Token forfeits! White win!
White win! Race war is over everybody! White's won again!
I want to apologize deeply, and sincerely, for using the N-word on Wheel Of Fortune.
And I want to assure you, that I am not a racist, reverend Jackson.
The puzzle you were solving was "People who annoy you".
Well, like anybody else thought it was "Naggers", right?
Mr. Marsh, you need to take time to understand african-american culture.
Visit black museums, see black performers and artists.
Ohh, I will. I'm really down with african-americans.
- Do you really want to apologize? Are you sure? - Yes, absolutely.
Very well, if you want to apologize, I will accept.
Ahh, thank you, Mr. Jackson, Thank you.
- Brian, get a picture of Mr. Marsh apologizing. - Ready to go, sir.
Kiss it.
Apologize. Kiss it.
- You want me to kiss your... - That's right. Apologize.
Ah, okay, I'll...
Apologize.
"JACKSON ACCEPTS APOLOGY"
Hey Token, I just wanted to let you know that everything is cool now.
My dad apologized to Jesse Jackson.
Oh I see, so I'm supposed to feel all better now?
- Well, yeah. - You just don't get it, Stan!
Dude, Jesse Jackson said it's okay.
Jesse Jackson is not the emperor of black people!
He told my dad he was.
Today we are going to have a guest speaker talk to us about sensitivity and the power of words.
In a moment, you will meet Dr. David Nelson, who has firsthand experience in overcoming slander,
because David is himself a little person.
Who knows what a little person is?
Yes, over here?
A midget?
Not exactly. That term is actually considered offensive.
And that's why Dr. Nelson goes from school to school getting us all to think about what we say.
He has two Ph.D's and has published 6 books, please welcome, David Nelson!
Good morning students. How are we all feeling today?
I would like to share with you all my...
No, dude, no f***ing way!
that.. that words are like bullets. And if you get...
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Eric, be quiet!
No, no it's okay. He'll run out of steam here pretty soon.
Look, look they put a little suit on him.
So I said to my wife: "You told me to kill the damn cockroach, so don't yell at me for making a mess!"
We've got a great crowd here tonight. How many people are actually from Colorado?
Got nothin' better to do on a Friday night than come to a comedy club, huh?
Hey, do I know you from somewhere?
Yeah, I know you! You're the guy that said nigger on the Wheel Of Fortune!
Look everybody, it's the niggerguy!
Hey, it IS him.
We got a stun in the club. Everyone wave to the niggerguy.
- Say: "Hi, niggerguy!" - Hi niggerguy!
That's allright, niggerguy. You know we're just playin'.
Yeah, no problem.
Have y'all seen these navigation systems in these cars these days?
Damn things looks like they're right out of far out Space Nuts.
Maybe niggerguy has one. You got one, niggerguy?
Look, Betty, It's that niggerguy.
Niggerguy! Niggerguy!
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
I just need some aspirin.
You aren't welcome in this store, niggerguy!
Fine.
Principal Victoria, I'm very concerned about the behavior of one of your students.
Yes, we apologize for Eric Cartmans behavior, Mr. Nelson, We feel terrible.
Why? I don't feel terrible. It doesn't bother me at all.
Words are like bullets, and I let them pass right through me.
I just know that with some one-on-one time together with this Eric Cartman, I'll have a chance to change the way he thinks.
Uhh, it might be best if you just let it go, m'kay?
You don't understand. You see, words are like bullets. And if you take away the gunpowder...
Yeah, yeah, we get it, Mr. Nelson.
Very well, Mr. Nelson. Stacy, go ahead and send in Eric Cartman.
Eric, Mr. Nelson is concerned about how you respond to little people.
Oh, did I hurt its little feelings?
You know, you think you have the power to make me insecure, but your words are actually completely powerless.
Oh, oh, if we could get like 8 of these, we could dress them all up like little beavers, right,
and then put them in a pond, and see if they would build a dam.
You see? No matter what you say, I'm still standing.
Barely!
No matter how you act, I can rise above it!
"Rise above it!"
Get it? Like he can rise above anything!
Shut your f***ing mouth!
Mr. Nelson!
H-He didn't get to me, I-I-I was just joking.
Look, look how his face gets all red. He's like a little strawberry.
"SPOKEN WORD CONTEST TONIGHT"
Words with venom. Words that bind. Words used like weapons to cloud my mind.
I'm a person, I'm a man. But no matter how hard I try,
people just say: "Hey, there goes that niggerguy."
Everywhere I go it's always the same, I can't get away from that terrible name,
Hej niggerguy, niggerguy, niggerguy, stop!
Now go. Call me niggerguy, fill me with your hate, try to bring me down, whoop-up you're too late.
Someone just beat you to it, but my dream will not die...
To be thought of as more, than just, "niggerguy".
Respect.
Token, hey wait up.
I just wanted to say, I get it now.
You know, after that little person talked at that assembly the other day, I understand how you feel about someone saying the N-word.
So, black people are midgets?
God damn it!
Excuse me, over here please? I need our students to join me over here.
I have called you here because it is time that we taught Eric Cartman a lesson once and for all.
In a few seconds, Eric will be sent in, and when he walks through that door,
I want you all at the same time to yell: "Hello fatso!"
I don't think that's a very good idea, sir.
He has to learn his lesson. You see, words are like bullets.
All right, here he comes.
"Good morning, fatso."
Hey, what the hell is that? You think that's f***ing funny?
Kyle, did you put everybody up to this? I bet you did. What the hell is going on?
Now you know how it feels.
You-you didn't like it when the tables were turned, did you?
Allright, who is the freakin' genius who dressed it up in little suspenders? Clyde, was that you?
You can't get to me! Words are like bullets!
And so it is my honor, to announce today the Randy Marsh african-american scholarship foundation.
It is my hope, that this foundation will prove my commitment to the education of african-american students
and erase once and for all, my identity as: The Niggerguy!
You really.. you really don't know how hard it is to be constantly reminded of something.. lame that happened in your past.
I mean I... just wanna move on from what happened on Wheel Of Fortune, you know, and..
when people call me... niggerguy,
they're bringing up a painful chapter of my history, and all the negativity that went along with it.
You just... you can't imagine how that feels.
Is this niggerguy serious?
Anyway, here's to a new start for us all, thank you!
Hey look, Skeeter, there's that guy from the TV.
Well, well, well, looks like we got ourselves a niggerguy.
Where are you going, niggerguy?
Please, I... I don't want any trouble.
Well, you've GOT trouble.
When you first decided to slander an entire race of people on Wheel Of Fortune.
Yeah, You like makin' fun of minorities, niggerguy?
We don't take kindly to social ignorance.
You tell him, Skeeter, you tell him!
- What do you want? - What do we want?
We want to live in a world without people like you, who are intolerant of african-amerikans!
Leave him alone.
Hey, that's that other niggerguy.
That's the guy from Seinfeld, that used the N-word to a whole bunch of tabs.
Michael Richards? Well son of a bitch!
Looks like it's our lucky day. We got us two niggerguys.
Make that three.
- Mark Fuhrman? - Who?
He said the N-word in the OJ-case.
What is this? A niggerguy convention?
We aren't being pushed round anymore. Leave!
Come on, Skeeter. These niggerguys ain't worth our trouble.
Damn niggerguys! We'll be back!
You'd better come with us.
- Come on in, Mr. Marsh, we'll make you some coffee. - What's going on here?
We've been following your story since we first saw it on the news.
ŽDon't worry, you're with friends now.
Dale here, used the N-word in a racial joke at work.
Scott used the plural N-word to refer to a group of gardeners who broke his fence.
They were Mexicans. I was being ironic.
We're all just like you.
No, no I'm sorry, but I'm NOT like you.
I just said the N-word by mistake, to win money.
I made a mistake too. I was trying to be funny!
I got frustrated and thought I would get some shock laughs.
I'm just... not that good a comedian if you wanna know the truth.
You said the N-word to a black mans face, that's way worse than what I did.
You really think that matters?
You really think all those people out there see a difference?
Oh, they might see your racial slo as more accidental, they might even laugh about it,
but at the end of the day, all you are to them is just another a damn niggerguy.
Oh, you don't like that, do you?
No.
Randy, we want you to join us. We have a plan to make this go away once and for all.
Now look, Token, I've done everything I can to make this right. You have no reason to still be mad!
I have every reason to be mad! You just don't get it!
I'm not responsible for what my dad did!
No, but you can't just pretend it never happen either!
- What the hell do you want from me? - Nothing!
- Then stop being mad! - No!
Fellas! Fellas come quick! Cartman's gonna fight the midget!
Yaay, come on, Eric!
Dude, are you sure you wanna do this? Apparently this guy has a black belt in karate.
It's a midget, dude.
Students, I'm going to beat the crap out of this kid to prove a point.
No, dude. It can't talk, that's unfair, I'll laugh too much.
Senators, I know it is not normally considered American to ban words.
But there is one slur that has caused so much damage,
that we believe it should finally be made illegal.
I'm talking about, of course, the term "Niggerguy".
- Niggerguy? - Two words, which, by themselves,
can be harmless, but which together... form a verbal missile of hate.
Yeah, that's right!
Oh sure, some people just use the term in gest,
tell a niggerguy joke or two, thinking it's no big deal.
But they don't realize it can lead to people using the term as an excuse for violence.
God damn, niggerguy is trying to be all political-like now.
Senators, I'm learned to admit that I'm capable of -
having slightly racist thoughts once in a while.
Can anybody say they never do?
How long will it be before you are all be called niggerguys?
Ehh, hold on a second, are you suggesting that niggerguy -
could become a slur that refers to all white people?
I am certainly not a niggerguy. I've never thought a racist thought.
Oh, come on, you're the biggest niggerguy in Washington.
Mr. Marsh, we see now the importance of your bill.
All those in favour to ban the term "niggerguy" ?
- Aye! - Opposed?
- Nay? - The motion is passed!
We did it!
For the first time in american history a word has been officially banned from use.
From now on, if a person uses the word "nigger",
it must be at least seven words away from the word "guy".
Tom, it appears that the niggerguy epidemic is ov.. Oh, damn it I said it, didn't I?
Okay, okay, you win!
- Say "Uncle"! - Uncle!
Now say: "Caroline, don't go into the light!"
Caroline, don't go into the light!
Oh man, that is hysterical!
There! Now you all see that I'm not limited by my size.
I have proven my point! My work here is done!
- What was his point? - I have no idea.
- Dude, I don't get it. - I don't get it either.
Wait a minute. That's it! I don't get it!
- Huh? - Don't you see, Kyle? I don't get it.
Token, I get it now: I don't get it.
I've been trying to say that I understand how you feel, but... I'll never understand.
I'll never really get how it feels for a black person to have somebody use the N-word. I don't get it.
Now you get it, Stan.
- Yeah, I totally don't get it. - Thanks, dude.