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South Park - Season 11 Episode 10 "Imaginationland" 

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All right, let's try over here. 

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Set up traps there, and there as well.

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Last time I saw him he ran right through here.

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This is so retarded, Cartman.

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You've got everyone believing your stupid story.

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It isn't a story, it's true!

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I saw a leprechaun.

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I've seen him come through here three days in a row now.

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Hawk Eyes, this is Dragon Wind. Do you copy?

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This is Hawk Eyes.

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We've set up the net and we're standing by.

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Copy that, Hawk Eyes. Keep surveillance tag Alpha Niner.

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Dragon Wind out.

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Just admit you were lying, Cartman, so that everyone can go home!

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Oh no! We have a deal, Kyle!

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If I can prove there's a leprechain, you have to suck my balls, remember?!

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Dragon Wind to Blackie: What's your six, Blackei?

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... I don't want the code name Blackie.

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Code names are what they are, Blackie!

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Check your six and alert when in position!

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This is fucking retarded!

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Hahaha, getting nervous, Kyle?

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When that leprechaus shows up you must suck my balls!

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Don't forget I have a signed contract from you.

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Yeah, and if you couldn't prove there was a leprechaun,

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you have to give me ten dollars!

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Now just pay up and stop being stupid!

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Goddamnit, why hasn't it shown up yet?

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Dragon Wind to Faggot! Come in, Faggot!

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This is faggot.

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Go ahead.

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Faggot I need you to keep surveillance North to North East. Check back in five.

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Okay, will do.

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Faggot out.

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Okay, that's enough. Everybody!

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Cartman is just pulling one of his stupid tricks on everyone,

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because he's trying to get out of a deal he made!

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It was here, I swear it!

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I don't know why it's not showin' up this time!

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You didn't see a leprechaun, fatass!

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If you could prove it, I had to suck your balls, but if you couldn't,

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you had to pay me ten dollars! Pay up!

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Uh, I got somethin'! I got it!

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It's uh... Oh jeez I thnk it's a leprechaun!

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Set off diversion track C!

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Dude...

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Fuh, fuck me, it's a leprechaun.

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Get it!

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Get that fucking leprechaun! I want it alive!

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Wow. Cool. No way. Whoa. Wow.

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Eugh! Uh, move aside! Move aside!

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All right, butthole, where's the gold?!

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You lads don't know what you're doin'. I need to deliver an important message!

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There's goin' to be an attack!

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Tell me where the gold is or you die! Slow!

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Where'd he go?

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I was sent to warn of a terrorist attack,

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but you boys have made me late.

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Now the terrorists will prevail! The end is near!

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Dude.

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Kyle,

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suck my balls.

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{SOUTH PARK}

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{KYLE SUCKS CARTMAN'S BALLS}

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{THE TRILOGY}

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Dad, where do leprechauns come from?

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From Ireland.

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So... why would one come to America to warn us about a terrorist attack.

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Kyle, leprechauns aren't real. You're almost nine now;

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you need to understand the difference beween real and imaginary.

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I thought I did.

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Ohhh, Ms. Broflovski, how are you this fine evening?

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Oh,hello Eric.

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Kyle, your friend is here.

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Hello, Mr. Broflovski, Ike.

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Nice evening, isn't it?

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Well Kyle, shall we go up to your room for a few minutes.

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Get out of here, Cartman, we're eating dinner!

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Uhh, Kyle, I believe a certain someone

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is supposed to put a certain set of balls in their mouth.

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- I'm not doing it, fatass! - Doing what?

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We had a deal, Kyle!

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Just get out of here!

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You signed an agreement, Kyle!!

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I don't care if I signed an agreement!

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Ah hey now Kyle, if you made a deal with somebody, you have to stick by it.

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Thank you, Mr. Broflovski.

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What was the agreement?

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That if he could prove leprechauns exist, I would suck his balls.

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Whatwhatwhat?!

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And there was a leprechaun! You saw it, Kyle!!

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Hey dudes.

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Hey Kyle.

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So, ...how was it?

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How was what?

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Sucking Cartman's b-balls.

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I didn't suck his balls, all right?!

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And and I'm not going to!

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Dude, why did you ever agree to suck his balls in the first place.

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I didn't think there would actually be a leprechaun! And I still don't!

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Why would a leprechaun be warning us of a terrorist attack?!

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There's another explanation for all this.

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Excuse me.

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Have you boys seen a leprechaun anywhere lately?

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What do you know about the leprechaun?

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Ooooo, then you did see him.

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That's splendiferous!

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I want you to tell me everything he said.

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Where was he? What was he doing?

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All right I've had enough!

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Leprechauns are imaginary!

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Well of course they are.

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But just because they're imaginary doesn't mean they're not real.

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Haven't you boys ever used your imagination?

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You, young man!

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How would you like to be a cowboy? Or a swashbuckling pirate?

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And you! How would you like to be an astronaut, faaar out in space?

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All it takes is a little... imagination.

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- Who the hell are you? - Still not convinced, eh?

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I tell you what, boys.

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What say we all take a ride on my... Imagination Flying Machine?

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Dude.

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Hop aboard, kids. I have something to show you.

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Uhhh, are you gonna rap us?

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no?

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Ah all right then.

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Come on, guys.

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Watch it, fellas. I'm pretty sure this guy wants to rape us.

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All aboard the Imagination Balloon!

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Some people feel imagination isn't real,

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but I tell them that they're wrong,

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'cause whenever I want to play and pretend,

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I just sing the Imagination Sooong

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Imagination...

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Imagination...

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Imagination...

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Imagination...

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Imagination...

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Imagination...

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Imagination...

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Imagination...

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Imagination... Imagination... Imagination...

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Imagination... Imagination...

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Are you gonna take us somewhere or not?!

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But my boy,

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we're already here.

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What is this place?

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This... is Imaginationland.

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It's where all the wonderful and goofy things

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that humans have made up over the years live together.

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Shitishens of Imaginationland!

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We have distinguished guests from the world beyond!

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Hello.

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Welcome to Imaginationland. I am the Lollipop King.

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We are honored to have Creators in our kingdom.

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Now, good news, everyone!

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These boys did see the leprechaun!

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What did he tell you? Did he have any news?

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Well he said there was gonna be a-

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...that there was... gonna be a-

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ALLAH!!!

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OH FUCK NO!

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STAN, WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!

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Quickly boys! Get on my back!

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Fellas! Fellas wait!

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Hold on, fellas!

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Butters.

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Don't leave me, fellas! Come back!

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Dude!

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Hey guys!

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BUTTEEEEERS!!!

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Wha? Where...?

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Oh. Oh dude.

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Oh, it was just a dream.

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It was all just a crazy dream.

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Huh, oh my God.

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Hello?

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Dude, did you finish your math homework?

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I kind of lost track of time last night.

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No no I I hardly got any sleep.

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I had this whole messed up dream about some gay Mayor guy

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taking us to Imaginationland where all these imaginary characters live?

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...And then it got attacked by terrorists?

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Yeah! How'd you know?

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Dude! I had the same dream!

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We jumped on a dragon's back and, and Butters got left behind!

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Stan? Stanley?

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You haven't seen your little friend Butters, have you?

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Why?

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Our darling Butters never came home last night.

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What did they say??

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We don't wanna jump to conclusions, but...

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we're worried that maybe somebody kidnapped Butters,

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sodomized him over and over again, and then fed his genitals to wild animals.

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There there, darling.

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...Dude...

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Laides and gentlemen, I have dire news.

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Yesterday, at approximately 18:00 hours,

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terrorists successfully attacked...

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our imagination.

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Our imagnation?

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How?

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The imaginary attack appears to have been in the works for years.

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The effects of the attack are so far... unimaginable.

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We've intercepted this videotape the terrorists made for broadcast.

208
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Luckily we've kept it from being broadcast to the public.

209
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No! It's just a Care Bear!

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Oh my God.

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Later in the video we can see another imaginary hostage;

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this one reading a forced statement.

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Praise to the mighty Allah.

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His divine grace a-and will have brought forth this day.

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Oh jeez!

216
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Uhhh, nnow see, your safety is at our whim.

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This is the price you pay, America!

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You have defiled Allah,

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and now we will turn your imagination against you!

220
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Death to the Infidels!

221
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Can I go now?

222
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Stan! Kyle!

223
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Could you could you get me out of here??

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Gentlemen, the terrorists appear to have complete control of our imagination.

225
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It's only a matter of time before...

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our imaginations start running wild.

227
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I believe a serious blow to democracy has just been dealt.

228
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A travesty has occurred, and I want justice!

229
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Kyle Broflovski did willingly and knowingly

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sign a contract, and yet, to date,

231
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he has made no effort, nor does he show any intention,

232
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of ever sucking my balls!

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I've given him ample time to fulfill his obligation, and he has thus refused.

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I stand before you with dry balls, Your Honor.

235
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I've provided witnesses, collected testimonials,

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and still, my balls remain dry.

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I want what I'm entitled to!

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Mr. Broflovski,

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did you agree to orally imbibe Mr. Cartman's scrotum and testicles?

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I...

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Is this not your signature on the contract?

242
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but...

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Come o- come on! Really?

244
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I mean, aren't there more important things going on right now?

245
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From what I've been presented and the evidence put forth,

246
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the court has no choice but to order you

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to place Mr. Cartman's pubicle sac in your mouth,

248
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and draw upon it succulently for no less than 30 seconds.

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Yesss!

250
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You have twenty four hours to suck aforementioned balls.

251
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If after that time you still refuse,

252
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the court will be forced to arrest you for contempt. Next case!

253
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Thank you Your Honor.

254
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This isn't a victory for me, this is a victory for the justice system.

255
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And my balls.

256
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What I am about to tell you is highly classified.

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Two days ago, Muslim terrorists hijacked our imagination.

258
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Frankly we don't know what their next move is or how to stop them.

259
00:14:44,394 --> 00:14:47,847
In times like these the government often turns to Hollywood for help.

260
00:14:47,967 --> 00:14:50,922
You creative filmmakers can think of idea we just can't.

261
00:14:51,042 --> 00:14:54,458
That's why we've asked you here, M. Night Shyal-amalam.

262
00:14:54,673 --> 00:14:58,004
The Sixth Sense, Signs, The Village, all very clever films.

263
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,849
But can you use your amazing idea brain now

264
00:15:00,969 --> 00:15:03,509
to help us stop the terrorists?

265
00:15:04,239 --> 00:15:06,012
What if...

266
00:15:07,081 --> 00:15:08,934
What if it turns out they aren't terrorists?

267
00:15:09,054 --> 00:15:12,602
But they're actually werewolves? From the future?

268
00:15:13,856 --> 00:15:17,023
N, no. No, they're terrorists. They've been linked to Al Qaeda.

269
00:15:17,188 --> 00:15:21,736
But what if Al Qaeda, it turns out, is the group being terrorized? By aliens?

270
00:15:22,205 --> 00:15:25,722
No- No. That's not an idea, that's a twist.

271
00:15:26,078 --> 00:15:27,783
We need ideas.

272
00:15:27,903 --> 00:15:30,570
How about we make everyone think that terrorists attacked us?

273
00:15:30,690 --> 00:15:33,998
But really, we were all already dead.

274
00:15:34,722 --> 00:15:35,917
Get him out of here.

275
00:15:38,128 --> 00:15:41,631
Mr. Bay, can you thnk of any idea how to outwit these terrorists?

276
00:15:41,866 --> 00:15:43,049
I believe I can.

277
00:15:43,428 --> 00:15:45,872
We start... by making a big CG building

278
00:15:45,992 --> 00:15:48,386
and then we have a meteor go CROSSHH!

279
00:15:48,506 --> 00:15:50,383
and it, and it's all like CRAAWWWLL

280
00:15:50,503 --> 00:15:53,601
and motorcycles burst into flame while they jump over these helicopters, right?

281
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:54,702
No no!

282
00:15:54,822 --> 00:15:57,563
We need ideas how to stop the terrorists!

283
00:15:57,683 --> 00:16:01,235
An eighteen-wheeler spins out of control and it's all like BROSSHH

284
00:16:01,355 --> 00:16:05,012
And then this huuuge tanker full of dyna-

285
00:16:05,596 --> 00:16:09,033
Those aren't ideas, those are special effects!

286
00:16:11,175 --> 00:16:13,329
I... don't understand the difference.

287
00:16:13,449 --> 00:16:15,748
I know you don't. Get him out of here!

288
00:16:16,032 --> 00:16:19,390
Aaand being that we are all big Mel Gibson film fans,

289
00:16:19,510 --> 00:16:21,545
we thought maybe you could help us.

290
00:16:21,735 --> 00:16:23,642
Ah, my nipples, they hurt!

291
00:16:23,762 --> 00:16:25,466
They hurt when I twist them!

292
00:16:26,697 --> 00:16:27,791
Yes, uh,

293
00:16:27,911 --> 00:16:30,400
I don't suppose you have any creative ideas

294
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,181
how to fight these terrorists?

295
00:16:32,430 --> 00:16:33,616
How about this?

296
00:16:33,736 --> 00:16:36,567
You have that tape that the terrorists made, right?

297
00:16:36,687 --> 00:16:39,856
Well maybe if you did a background check on that videotape,

298
00:16:39,976 --> 00:16:42,008
you might find somebody who doesn't belong.

299
00:16:42,128 --> 00:16:46,028
Somebody who doesn't fit Imaginationland. Ohhh!

300
00:16:47,491 --> 00:16:50,073
Heyy... that's not a bad idea.

301
00:16:50,489 --> 00:16:52,745
Yeah. Say what you will about Mel Gibson,

302
00:16:52,865 --> 00:16:54,857
but the sonofabitch knows story structure.

303
00:16:54,977 --> 00:16:57,623
Get the videotape and do a background check on everyone in it!

304
00:16:57,743 --> 00:17:00,042
Oogh! Yess!

305
00:17:00,879 --> 00:17:03,963
All the imaginary characters in the tape were identified, sir.

306
00:17:04,083 --> 00:17:06,883
Count Chocula, Cinderella, Snarf from Thundercats,

307
00:17:07,003 --> 00:17:07,758
but here

308
00:17:08,117 --> 00:17:11,317
Nothing in American folklore or storytalling match this kid.

309
00:17:11,437 --> 00:17:12,833
He appears to be...

310
00:17:12,953 --> 00:17:14,298
just some kid.

311
00:17:14,418 --> 00:17:18,019
Stan! Kyle! Could you could you get me out of here??

312
00:17:18,139 --> 00:17:21,491
I want digital imaging and resource magnification done stat!

313
00:17:21,611 --> 00:17:23,972
If that kid isn't imaginary I want to know who he is,

314
00:17:24,092 --> 00:17:26,011
where he's from, and who his friends are!

315
00:17:26,131 --> 00:17:27,531
Yes sir!

316
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,171
Who are you?...

317
00:17:37,677 --> 00:17:40,777
Uh, excuse me? Uh Mr. Terrorist, sir?

318
00:17:41,058 --> 00:17:43,456
Uh, I'm actually not imaginary,

319
00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:46,339
a-and um, my p-my parents are gonna ground me if I don't get back-

320
00:17:48,466 --> 00:17:50,843
Aaah! Okay, sorry. Uh sorry.

321
00:17:51,616 --> 00:17:53,970
Can you tell what the terrorists are doing?

322
00:17:54,090 --> 00:17:57,308
They're going something to Rockety Rocket.

323
00:17:57,428 --> 00:17:58,196
No!

324
00:17:58,316 --> 00:18:00,102
Leave me alone! Haaa!

325
00:18:00,376 --> 00:18:03,206
It doesn't make sense. What do they want with Rockety?

326
00:18:03,326 --> 00:18:05,426
The only reason they would-

327
00:18:05,740 --> 00:18:06,840
Oh my God.

328
00:18:07,430 --> 00:18:09,320
They're gonna blow up the Barrier!

329
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,050
Uh what's the Barrier?

330
00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:12,990
The wall!

331
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:18,245
The wall which separates the evil side of Imaginationland from the good side!

332
00:18:18,527 --> 00:18:20,835
No! No you can't blow up the barrier!

333
00:18:20,955 --> 00:18:22,405
Are you insane?!

334
00:18:23,983 --> 00:18:25,343
We can't let this happen.

335
00:18:25,463 --> 00:18:27,797
It will be the end of Imaginationland.

336
00:18:27,917 --> 00:18:30,256
Yeah. You have to stop them, kid.

337
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:33,094
Me?? Woo, what am I supposed to do?

338
00:18:33,214 --> 00:18:34,606
Don't you get it?!

339
00:18:34,726 --> 00:18:36,499
If the terrorists blow that barrier,

340
00:18:36,619 --> 00:18:39,735
all the most evil things ever imagined are gonna pour out

341
00:18:39,855 --> 00:18:42,103
and take over Imaginationland for good!

342
00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:44,283
YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!!

343
00:18:51,982 --> 00:18:53,508
Thanks for coming, everyone.

344
00:18:53,628 --> 00:18:56,700
The big moment is almost here, as soon as Kyle arrives.

345
00:18:57,088 --> 00:18:58,953
He's not gonna show up to suck your balls dude.

346
00:18:59,147 --> 00:19:01,372
He has to. He's been ordered by the court.

347
00:19:01,976 --> 00:19:03,332
Hey, he's here.

348
00:19:03,759 --> 00:19:05,960
What? Move aside, move aside!

349
00:19:06,196 --> 00:19:07,576
Dude, do you really have to do it?

350
00:19:07,696 --> 00:19:09,255
Let's just get this over with!

351
00:19:09,479 --> 00:19:13,676
Yes, come on in, peasant Kyle, and pay homage to this sultan's balls.

352
00:19:13,918 --> 00:19:15,261
God damnit!

353
00:19:15,713 --> 00:19:18,344
Yehehehesss. Yehhhs!

354
00:19:27,774 --> 00:19:30,568
That's them, sir. Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski.

355
00:19:31,186 --> 00:19:34,115
You boys need to come with us on a matter of national security.

356
00:19:34,235 --> 00:19:34,939
Who are you?

357
00:19:35,059 --> 00:19:37,741
There's no time! You need to come with us right now!

358
00:19:38,306 --> 00:19:39,427
Hey, let go of him!

359
00:19:39,547 --> 00:19:42,231
We aren't going to hurt your little friends. We just need information.

360
00:19:42,351 --> 00:19:45,332
No! No, he has to suck my balls!

361
00:19:49,162 --> 00:19:50,162
NO!

362
00:19:50,465 --> 00:19:51,756
KYYYYLE!

363
00:19:53,305 --> 00:19:54,842
Allah akbar!

364
00:19:55,506 --> 00:19:57,203
No! Noooo!

365
00:19:58,851 --> 00:20:01,557
Hold on! Hold on a second!

366
00:20:03,597 --> 00:20:07,805
Now, you really should think about this. I mean, uh,

367
00:20:07,925 --> 00:20:11,149
I know you think attacking our imagination will get you somewhere,

368
00:20:11,269 --> 00:20:12,735
but will it really?

369
00:20:13,863 --> 00:20:15,255
If you destroy that wall,

370
00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:18,943
all the most evil parts of our imagination are gonna break loose,

371
00:20:19,063 --> 00:20:23,111
but... will it really make you terrorists feel better?

372
00:20:23,231 --> 00:20:27,333
Maybe it's time for us all to just... get along.

373
00:20:28,838 --> 00:20:31,253
ALLAH!!

374
00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:34,518
Jesus Christ, no!!

375
00:20:38,674 --> 00:20:40,657
That was your plan to stop them??

376
00:20:40,777 --> 00:20:42,734
Y-yeah, and that's not a heartfelt speech?

377
00:20:42,854 --> 00:20:44,704
That's fucking stupid!

378
00:20:55,028 --> 00:20:56,491
They are coming...

379
00:20:57,581 --> 00:21:02,581
To be continued

380
00:21:06,475 --> 00:21:07,867
Glad I picked you up, kid.

381
00:21:07,987 --> 00:21:11,487
It's dangerous for someone your age to be hitchhikin'

382
00:21:12,610 --> 00:21:15,210
Yeah well, when a man has been wronged...

383
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,641
he no longer cares about danger.

384
00:21:17,761 --> 00:21:20,135
You goin' to Washington to visit family?

385
00:21:20,725 --> 00:21:22,498
I've got unfinished business.

386
00:21:22,618 --> 00:21:24,957
You go through life being told there's justice,

387
00:21:25,077 --> 00:21:26,559
then you learn that the only real justcie...

388
00:21:27,351 --> 00:21:29,144
is the justice you take.

389
00:21:30,168 --> 00:21:31,768
Make no mistake, Kyle.

390
00:21:32,553 --> 00:21:35,985
Before this is over, you will suck my balls.

391
00:21:37,827 --> 00:21:41,574
Subtitles: Team SouthParkNews.Net Transcript: South Park Scriptorium