1 00:00:29,275 --> 00:00:31,951 Synchro: Arrow, mpm 2 00:00:36,324 --> 00:00:39,626 - What's going on, dad? - You have to move. It isn't... 3 00:00:50,021 --> 00:00:51,325 I'm so... 4 00:00:51,888 --> 00:00:52,980 startled. 5 00:00:55,301 --> 00:00:59,688 South Park 12x11 - Pandemic (2) The Startling - 6 00:01:03,113 --> 00:01:04,827 My name is Craig Tucker. 7 00:01:05,476 --> 00:01:07,214 Last week was my birthday. 8 00:01:07,963 --> 00:01:10,220 My grandma gave me a check for $100. 9 00:01:10,466 --> 00:01:11,910 I was so happy. 10 00:01:13,084 --> 00:01:16,009 But then, four kids from school came to my house 12 00:01:16,129 --> 00:01:18,628 and said I should use my $100 14 00:01:18,748 --> 00:01:20,324 to invest in becoming 16 00:01:20,617 --> 00:01:22,472 a Peruvian flute band. 17 00:01:22,592 --> 00:01:25,390 They promised I would double my money in one afternoon. 18 00:01:25,623 --> 00:01:29,295 But the government arrested us, along with all the other Peruvian flute bands, 19 00:01:29,415 --> 00:01:31,974 and took us to an internment camp in Miami. 20 00:01:32,094 --> 00:01:33,819 We begged to go home. But instead, 21 00:01:33,939 --> 00:01:36,774 the government told us they were sending us to Peru. 22 00:01:39,798 --> 00:01:42,668 And so that is why I am now in Peru. 23 00:01:43,017 --> 00:01:46,119 If I die, let it be known that it is because four guys 24 00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:50,147 I don't even like from school lied to me and took my birthday money. 25 00:01:50,417 --> 00:01:52,507 We didn't lie! It was a sweet idea! 26 00:01:52,627 --> 00:01:55,785 How were we supposed to know that pan flute bands would be outlawed? 27 00:01:56,469 --> 00:01:58,829 I don't get it. They said the military would meet us here. 28 00:01:58,949 --> 00:02:00,639 This is where they told us to land. 29 00:02:00,759 --> 00:02:02,792 - Can't you get through to Washington? - I'm trying. 30 00:02:02,952 --> 00:02:04,799 This is Conner in Washington! 31 00:02:04,919 --> 00:02:08,518 The place that homeland security told us to start the operation, 32 00:02:08,638 --> 00:02:12,009 there's nobody here to meet us. It's like they sent us to no man's land. 33 00:02:12,308 --> 00:02:13,987 Jesus, they're everywhere! 34 00:02:14,246 --> 00:02:15,619 What are everywhere? 35 00:02:16,334 --> 00:02:17,599 So furry! 36 00:02:18,301 --> 00:02:19,556 They're attacking 37 00:02:19,676 --> 00:02:20,769 every city. 38 00:02:21,621 --> 00:02:22,983 People dying! 39 00:02:25,058 --> 00:02:26,084 Guinea pigs, 40 00:02:26,366 --> 00:02:27,484 all over! 41 00:02:28,276 --> 00:02:30,636 - Guinea pigs? - Can't stop them. 42 00:02:31,498 --> 00:02:33,130 Need to get out. 43 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,474 I just ate... 44 00:02:36,694 --> 00:02:37,704 a peanut. 45 00:02:38,303 --> 00:02:39,676 Peanut now stuck 46 00:02:40,241 --> 00:02:41,251 in throat. 47 00:02:41,910 --> 00:02:43,918 I shouldn't eat peanuts 48 00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,405 when scared. 49 00:02:52,447 --> 00:02:55,066 I've got the video camera. Got it turned on again. 50 00:02:56,506 --> 00:02:58,064 This is Randy Marsh. 51 00:02:58,665 --> 00:03:00,618 I'm shooting the video of myself. 52 00:03:00,946 --> 00:03:02,456 20 minutes ago, some 53 00:03:02,576 --> 00:03:04,422 huge creatures attacked our town. 54 00:03:04,542 --> 00:03:06,146 It's still chaos out the window. 55 00:03:09,718 --> 00:03:11,550 I barely made it back to the house. 56 00:03:12,284 --> 00:03:13,810 Sharon is here with me. 57 00:03:14,184 --> 00:03:16,477 And there's Shelley. Wave to the camera. 58 00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:19,497 Will you put down the camera. We need to figure out what to do! 59 00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:21,496 I don't know what to do. I'm so startled. 60 00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,897 We have to see what the news is saying. 61 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:29,223 This is a shot of New York City where the giant guinea pigs 62 00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:31,580 - have also attacked. - Guinea pigs? 63 00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:35,050 Reports of attacks are coming in from major cities all over the world. 64 00:03:35,170 --> 00:03:37,091 Jesus, this thing is worldwide! 65 00:03:42,297 --> 00:03:43,718 Look at that thing! 66 00:03:44,983 --> 00:03:46,479 What are we gonna do? 67 00:03:51,653 --> 00:03:54,553 - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - Go! Run! 68 00:03:55,189 --> 00:03:56,197 We gotta get out! 69 00:03:58,358 --> 00:04:00,119 Michels? Harrison? Anybody? 70 00:04:01,313 --> 00:04:04,222 Nothing. LSAT is down, and no answer at RCU. 71 00:04:04,342 --> 00:04:06,479 Whatever is going on out there, it's huge. 72 00:04:06,599 --> 00:04:08,272 All right, just let me get this straight. 73 00:04:08,392 --> 00:04:11,028 The head of homeland security ordered you to fly us, 74 00:04:11,148 --> 00:04:12,871 five kids, to Peru, 75 00:04:13,095 --> 00:04:15,420 but had you land way up in the Andes mountains of Peru 76 00:04:15,540 --> 00:04:18,076 so that other government people could meet us and then 77 00:04:18,196 --> 00:04:21,592 somehow tell us how to go to the capital of Peru way over in Lima 78 00:04:21,712 --> 00:04:23,396 and take down their government? 79 00:04:24,454 --> 00:04:25,804 That was the order. 80 00:04:27,013 --> 00:04:28,371 That makes sense to you? 81 00:04:28,715 --> 00:04:29,971 Nope, not at all. 82 00:04:30,386 --> 00:04:32,721 Actually, the whole rounding up of the pan flute bands 83 00:04:32,841 --> 00:04:34,594 didn't make sense to any of us either. 84 00:04:34,714 --> 00:04:37,008 None of what that homeland security guy does make sense! 85 00:04:37,128 --> 00:04:39,116 So, could you just fly us home, please? 86 00:04:39,539 --> 00:04:40,921 You don't understand. 87 00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:43,680 The plan was to have a refueling truck meet us here. 88 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,788 We don't have enough gas to fly anyplace. 89 00:04:46,521 --> 00:04:47,730 That's awesome. 90 00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,574 So, we've got to find another way out of here. 91 00:04:50,694 --> 00:04:52,587 It's starting to look that way. 92 00:04:56,775 --> 00:04:57,832 This is fun. 93 00:04:58,079 --> 00:05:00,579 Let's walk for miles through a spooky jungle. 94 00:05:00,699 --> 00:05:02,858 It just keeps getting better and better. 95 00:05:02,978 --> 00:05:05,079 You know, we're getting pretty sick of your attitude. 96 00:05:05,757 --> 00:05:08,328 Nobody likes hanging out with people who complain all the time. 97 00:05:08,858 --> 00:05:10,966 Look at that, no lights on, nothing. 98 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:14,314 It's like humans have never been to this part of Peru. 99 00:05:28,220 --> 00:05:31,124 More guinea pigs seem to be moving in from all directions. 100 00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:32,838 We checked on wikipedia, 101 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:36,756 and found out that guinea pigs are from the Andes mountains. Here. 102 00:05:36,916 --> 00:05:40,645 What about the pan flute bands? Are they on their way to Guantanamo bay? 103 00:05:42,213 --> 00:05:46,140 Sir, we believe we have bigger problems right now than pan flute bands. 104 00:05:46,460 --> 00:05:48,600 Have they been loaded on to the boats or not? 105 00:05:49,022 --> 00:05:51,578 No, sir. We diverted all the resources away 106 00:05:51,698 --> 00:05:54,107 from the pan flute bands to deal with the guinea pigs. 107 00:05:54,416 --> 00:05:55,954 That was an order! 108 00:05:56,074 --> 00:05:59,248 The flute bands were to be put on boats to Guantanamo last night! 109 00:05:59,368 --> 00:06:00,837 I am still in charge here! 110 00:06:00,957 --> 00:06:04,033 I want those pan flute bands on the boats to Guantanamo! 111 00:06:05,021 --> 00:06:06,030 Yes, sir. 112 00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:09,060 I don't see why you have to yell at people. 113 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,552 Darling, main street... 114 00:06:14,369 --> 00:06:15,378 Look at that. 115 00:06:18,524 --> 00:06:21,259 - Where do we go? - We've got to get out of town. 116 00:06:21,379 --> 00:06:22,762 Go through that way. 117 00:06:26,456 --> 00:06:27,973 My arm! My arm! 118 00:06:28,564 --> 00:06:30,337 - Jesus! - Randy, run! 119 00:06:30,761 --> 00:06:31,769 Run! 120 00:06:33,556 --> 00:06:35,064 We're running now! 121 00:06:36,353 --> 00:06:39,147 There's Sharon and Shelley running. Wave to the camera. 122 00:06:39,267 --> 00:06:40,267 Dad! 123 00:06:45,151 --> 00:06:46,490 In there! In there! 124 00:06:50,907 --> 00:06:52,675 Oh, God. I'm so startled. 125 00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:55,126 - Are you startled? - Put down the... 126 00:06:58,467 --> 00:07:00,075 It's gonna kill us! 127 00:07:01,064 --> 00:07:03,384 Just stay down. It can't come in here. 128 00:07:05,504 --> 00:07:07,935 Hold on. I need to get a shot of it from outside... 129 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,183 Where are you going? 130 00:07:14,205 --> 00:07:16,507 Here we see a view from outside the bus. 131 00:07:22,230 --> 00:07:23,996 What the hell are you doing? 132 00:07:24,281 --> 00:07:25,907 I got a really good shot of it. 133 00:07:31,145 --> 00:07:32,371 I don't know, Lemski. 134 00:07:32,491 --> 00:07:35,284 This entire area of Peru isn't even charted on the maps. 135 00:07:35,868 --> 00:07:39,295 This whole valley is strange. Just look at the size of that fruit! 136 00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:42,064 Ain't that a peach? 137 00:07:43,093 --> 00:07:44,993 And how do you like them apples? 138 00:07:49,372 --> 00:07:50,742 Take a look at this! 139 00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:53,678 They look like 140 00:07:53,957 --> 00:07:55,393 beehive combs. 141 00:07:56,104 --> 00:07:57,273 Oh, my God. 142 00:08:00,268 --> 00:08:03,696 - Dude, what is this place? - It's like an unknown valley 143 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,739 that time forgot where everything grows huge. 144 00:08:07,646 --> 00:08:08,739 That's a shock. 145 00:08:08,859 --> 00:08:10,642 I decided to follow you guys 146 00:08:10,762 --> 00:08:13,182 and now I'm in land of the giants lost world. 147 00:08:13,711 --> 00:08:17,384 It isn't our fault! You say that we always want to be in those situations, 148 00:08:17,504 --> 00:08:19,919 - but we don't have any choice! - Stuff just happens. 149 00:08:20,738 --> 00:08:23,256 - Stuff just happens. - That's right! 150 00:08:23,863 --> 00:08:26,036 You just wind up being sent by the government 151 00:08:26,156 --> 00:08:30,145 to take down the city of Lima to wind up in land of the giants lost world. 152 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,306 That's right. 153 00:08:32,891 --> 00:08:35,215 You know what stuff happens to most kids? 154 00:08:35,335 --> 00:08:36,895 They fall off their bikes. 155 00:08:37,015 --> 00:08:39,093 They get in fights with their parents. 156 00:08:39,213 --> 00:08:41,275 They get swindled out of their birthday money. 157 00:08:41,660 --> 00:08:44,539 Look, wherever we are, I think we better keep moving. 158 00:08:46,074 --> 00:08:47,225 Dude, look out! 159 00:08:56,998 --> 00:08:58,559 All right. All right. 160 00:08:59,118 --> 00:09:01,445 Here's Sharon and Shelley on the roof of Best Buy. 161 00:09:01,565 --> 00:09:03,830 We ran up here to get off the streets. 162 00:09:04,402 --> 00:09:07,017 We found the Stotch family hiding out up here also. 163 00:09:07,137 --> 00:09:09,874 There's Chris, Linda, and their son Butters. 164 00:09:10,184 --> 00:09:11,189 Hello. 165 00:09:13,472 --> 00:09:15,700 What is that? Chris, what is that? 166 00:09:16,065 --> 00:09:17,764 That's a new sound. 167 00:09:18,727 --> 00:09:19,897 Oh, God. Look! 168 00:09:20,202 --> 00:09:22,815 - Those aren't guinea pigs. - Get off the roof! 169 00:09:27,855 --> 00:09:29,164 Go down the stairs now. 170 00:09:29,284 --> 00:09:30,818 Get down the stairs. 171 00:09:31,924 --> 00:09:34,771 And we are now getting word of giant bees. 172 00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:37,810 The giant bees have been seen in the U.S. and Europe. 173 00:09:40,201 --> 00:09:42,043 Get away. There's bees everywhere! 174 00:09:49,004 --> 00:09:50,757 There's another one right there! 175 00:09:52,734 --> 00:09:53,759 Oh, my God! 176 00:10:03,889 --> 00:10:06,451 It stung me! It stung me! 177 00:10:11,584 --> 00:10:13,064 Oh, that startled me! 178 00:10:13,184 --> 00:10:14,742 That was really startling! 179 00:10:17,072 --> 00:10:19,617 I think we're just heading deeper into the mountains. 180 00:10:19,909 --> 00:10:21,886 Yeah, maybe we should start heading that way. 181 00:10:22,006 --> 00:10:23,252 I think we're. 182 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,253 Hey, look at this. 183 00:10:30,485 --> 00:10:31,618 What is it? 184 00:10:31,818 --> 00:10:33,678 I don't know. Looks old. 185 00:10:34,228 --> 00:10:35,580 Let's see what's in there. 186 00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:37,174 Let's see what's in there. 187 00:10:37,801 --> 00:10:40,078 That's why you guys get into these situations. 188 00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:44,297 Because when you come across a spooky ancient ruin you say 189 00:10:44,753 --> 00:10:46,190 "let's see what's in there." 190 00:10:47,553 --> 00:10:50,311 - It might be a way out, Craig! - Yeah, Mr. Complainy Pants. 191 00:10:56,224 --> 00:10:58,781 I don't think anybody's been in here for centuries. 192 00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:01,046 Yeah, centuries. 193 00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,060 You guys look at this! 194 00:11:04,473 --> 00:11:06,043 It's a wall of ancient drawings. 195 00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:09,165 Dude, it's a Peruvian flute band. 196 00:11:09,285 --> 00:11:10,624 I know! And look. 197 00:11:11,187 --> 00:11:15,003 Looks like the pan flute music is driving away giant guinea pigs? 198 00:11:15,798 --> 00:11:17,414 Oh, no way! Look! 199 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,686 The pan flute bands put in prison. 200 00:11:19,806 --> 00:11:21,532 Just like what happened! 201 00:11:21,879 --> 00:11:25,072 And then the guinea pigs killing people. And then... 202 00:11:30,245 --> 00:11:31,505 Dude, it's Craig! 203 00:11:32,001 --> 00:11:32,737 What? 204 00:11:33,487 --> 00:11:34,613 That is Craig! 205 00:11:41,572 --> 00:11:44,431 - Dude, Craig, what's going on? - I have no idea. 206 00:11:44,832 --> 00:11:48,044 Do you mind telling us what you're doing on an ancient Inca wall, Craig? 207 00:11:48,966 --> 00:11:50,135 I don't know. 208 00:11:51,916 --> 00:11:54,386 There is now word of huge beehives forming in cities 209 00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:55,801 across the U.S. and Canada. 210 00:11:55,961 --> 00:12:00,431 Europe and China are reporting deaths by guinea pigs in the tens of thousands. 211 00:12:01,009 --> 00:12:03,476 And how are the efforts to contain all this going? 212 00:12:03,980 --> 00:12:05,039 It's bad, sir. 213 00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:09,205 It seems we have no way of stopping it. We've lost complete control. 214 00:12:13,913 --> 00:12:14,740 Sir? 215 00:12:15,439 --> 00:12:17,515 I'm sorry. I just thought of a funny joke. 216 00:12:19,652 --> 00:12:22,495 All right. Get the jets ready. I need to get to Machu Picchu. 217 00:12:22,655 --> 00:12:24,455 Machu Picchu, sir? 218 00:12:24,713 --> 00:12:27,541 Yes. I need to be taken to Machu Picchu. Have you lost your hearing? 219 00:12:28,151 --> 00:12:30,836 But sir, what could possibly be at Machu Picchu to help... 220 00:12:30,996 --> 00:12:32,588 Am I in charge or not? 221 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,214 We're in the grocery store now. Some other survivors here. 222 00:12:41,175 --> 00:12:42,763 Can we get through the highway? 223 00:12:42,883 --> 00:12:45,393 The highway's unreachable. There's guinea rats all over it. 224 00:12:45,594 --> 00:12:46,706 Guinea rats? 225 00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:49,146 What do you mean guinea rats? 226 00:12:49,683 --> 00:12:52,819 There are guinea pigs, but there's also guinea bees, and guinea rats. 227 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:55,296 I've even seen guinea spiders out there. 228 00:12:55,652 --> 00:12:57,397 Randy, will you stop doing that? 229 00:13:00,222 --> 00:13:02,761 Look, I think we need to find a way out under the city. 230 00:13:02,881 --> 00:13:05,287 In the sewers? It can't be safe down there. 231 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:09,238 Oh, God. What are we going to do? 232 00:13:10,976 --> 00:13:12,461 Something's inside the store! 233 00:13:14,033 --> 00:13:16,105 Guinea rabbits! There, inside! 234 00:13:21,458 --> 00:13:22,638 They're everywhere! 235 00:13:23,174 --> 00:13:23,973 Help me! 236 00:13:29,602 --> 00:13:30,896 You can't help him. 237 00:13:32,137 --> 00:13:33,691 There's something over there! 238 00:13:34,337 --> 00:13:35,939 It's a guinea bear! 239 00:13:36,059 --> 00:13:37,835 No, it's a guinea mouse, stupid! 240 00:13:40,815 --> 00:13:41,615 Kill me! 241 00:13:41,775 --> 00:13:44,185 Randy, the storeroom! We've got to get to the storeroom! 242 00:13:52,052 --> 00:13:53,479 Mom, I can't see! 243 00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:56,440 It's okay, Shelley. Daddy's gonna turn on the night vision. 244 00:13:57,187 --> 00:13:58,519 There, there. 245 00:14:02,314 --> 00:14:05,204 - What? What? - Nothing. I just startled myself. 246 00:14:11,201 --> 00:14:13,001 Let's head over this way, guys. 247 00:14:13,656 --> 00:14:15,532 You hear that? It sounds like water. 248 00:14:15,652 --> 00:14:17,151 Yeah, it's coming from up there. 249 00:14:28,197 --> 00:14:30,393 - Dude, that's awesome. - All right. Let's go. 250 00:14:32,602 --> 00:14:33,751 What do you mean no? 251 00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:36,709 I'm not following you guys anymore. 252 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:39,507 We have to go check this out. 253 00:14:40,257 --> 00:14:41,094 Why? 254 00:14:42,783 --> 00:14:44,762 Because that's just the way it is. 255 00:14:45,325 --> 00:14:46,833 Every time bad things happen, 256 00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:50,447 you guys end up putting yourselves deeper into the middle of it, because 257 00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:52,436 "that's just the way it is." 258 00:14:53,243 --> 00:14:56,315 We aren't the ones on an ancient temple prophecy wall, butt-wipe! 259 00:14:57,087 --> 00:14:58,234 I don't care. 260 00:14:58,354 --> 00:15:00,001 I've decided that I'm done. 261 00:15:00,286 --> 00:15:02,863 I am choosing not to be a part of this anymore. 262 00:15:03,997 --> 00:15:05,241 How do you do that? 263 00:15:05,644 --> 00:15:06,951 It's easy. Watch. 264 00:15:17,378 --> 00:15:19,017 Craig, dude, wait up. 265 00:15:23,025 --> 00:15:24,828 Dude, Craig, we should go back now. 266 00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,761 Hey, look! There's something here! 267 00:15:32,013 --> 00:15:32,919 Nope. 268 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,873 Dude, this is boring. This is just a bunch of walking around. 269 00:15:42,367 --> 00:15:43,516 Nice and boring. 270 00:15:43,636 --> 00:15:45,062 Just the way I like it. 271 00:15:48,495 --> 00:15:52,485 It's been 3 days now since the guinea pigs and the guinea bees attacked. 272 00:15:52,605 --> 00:15:54,224 Guinea rabbits are still everywhere. 273 00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:56,609 Along with a few guinea panthers. 274 00:15:56,729 --> 00:15:59,188 We've taken shelter at the outback steakhouse. 275 00:15:59,308 --> 00:16:00,717 There's Sharon and Shelley. 276 00:16:00,837 --> 00:16:02,167 Say hey, guys. 277 00:16:04,407 --> 00:16:06,192 What is that? What is that? 278 00:16:06,619 --> 00:16:08,380 I'm going to take a look outside. 279 00:16:08,621 --> 00:16:11,306 - What is it? - It's a guinea saurus rex. 280 00:16:19,582 --> 00:16:20,629 Oh, my God! 281 00:16:20,749 --> 00:16:22,081 I'm way too startled! 282 00:16:22,358 --> 00:16:23,226 Look! 283 00:16:28,852 --> 00:16:30,349 Jesus, they can't kill it. 284 00:16:32,217 --> 00:16:34,536 What do you think about the guinea saurus rex, Shelley? 285 00:16:37,513 --> 00:16:38,426 That's good. 286 00:16:38,546 --> 00:16:41,767 There's Shelley with the guinea saurus rex in the background! 287 00:16:41,887 --> 00:16:44,176 Give a little peace sign, Shelley. Oh, I know! 288 00:16:44,296 --> 00:16:47,331 Hold out your palm so it looks like you're holding the guinea saurus rex! 289 00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:51,110 I have had it! 290 00:16:51,230 --> 00:16:53,552 You are putting down that goddamn camera! 291 00:16:53,672 --> 00:16:57,149 You'll be really glad we have all this footage of the family some day. 292 00:17:04,218 --> 00:17:05,453 Wait here a minute. 293 00:17:11,292 --> 00:17:12,117 Behold! 294 00:17:12,975 --> 00:17:15,788 I am standing on your precious land. 295 00:17:16,376 --> 00:17:18,785 I've waited a long time for this. 296 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:27,716 What's he doing? 297 00:17:28,064 --> 00:17:29,677 What of your prophecy now? 298 00:17:29,995 --> 00:17:31,670 Nothing can stop me! 299 00:17:39,346 --> 00:17:40,706 How did you get here? 300 00:17:41,005 --> 00:17:43,941 It's that asshole who sent us to the jungle with nobody to pick us up! 301 00:17:44,268 --> 00:17:46,166 Sir, is everything all right? 302 00:17:46,507 --> 00:17:48,377 - Shoot them! - Shoot them? 303 00:17:48,766 --> 00:17:51,740 They're a Peruvian band that escaped! We must keep them contained! 304 00:17:52,252 --> 00:17:53,584 No, listen to me. 305 00:17:53,704 --> 00:17:56,141 The Peruvian bands were keeping the guinea creatures away! 306 00:17:56,261 --> 00:17:59,415 All of this is happening because you got rid of all the flute bands! 307 00:18:00,005 --> 00:18:01,208 I said, "shoot them!" 308 00:18:01,501 --> 00:18:03,752 Goo look! It's all an ancient incan prophecy. 309 00:18:04,753 --> 00:18:06,498 Maybe we should look at it, sir. 310 00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:07,995 Damn you, Craig! 311 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,664 You just don't ever stop, do you? 312 00:18:11,907 --> 00:18:14,474 - I didn't say anything. - You see for thousands of years, 313 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,558 horrid creatures have lived in the guinea valley of Peru. 314 00:18:17,925 --> 00:18:20,962 The incas learned how to keep the creatures at bay, 315 00:18:21,082 --> 00:18:22,683 by playing pan flute music. 316 00:18:23,297 --> 00:18:25,868 Guinea creatures hate it even more than humans do. 317 00:18:26,285 --> 00:18:29,804 But the prophecy foretold that one day the creatures would be unleashed 318 00:18:29,924 --> 00:18:32,072 and I have made that happen! 319 00:18:32,404 --> 00:18:34,544 The incas predicted the world would be saved, 320 00:18:35,431 --> 00:18:36,452 by Craig, 321 00:18:37,069 --> 00:18:39,830 but that part of the prophecy will not come true! 322 00:18:40,297 --> 00:18:42,458 For you will all die on this mountain! 323 00:18:47,378 --> 00:18:48,797 You're some kind of monster! 324 00:18:49,446 --> 00:18:51,092 Oh, I'm much more than that. 325 00:18:51,646 --> 00:18:54,636 Guinea bees, guinea rabbits, guinea saurus rexes. 326 00:18:55,007 --> 00:18:57,437 I am something much more evil. 327 00:19:04,422 --> 00:19:05,570 Guinea pirate! 328 00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:07,107 Jesus christ! 329 00:19:07,441 --> 00:19:09,150 Sir, I promise you, 330 00:19:09,270 --> 00:19:11,706 I'm not going to ruin your plans. 331 00:19:12,105 --> 00:19:13,962 I'll just walk away. See. 332 00:19:29,406 --> 00:19:31,610 Now there's sparks shooting out my eyes. 333 00:19:32,793 --> 00:19:34,160 Curse ye, Craig! 334 00:19:35,420 --> 00:19:36,261 Stop! 335 00:19:51,494 --> 00:19:53,186 My name is Craig Tucker. 336 00:19:53,752 --> 00:19:57,121 Last week, I stopped a guinea pirate from taking over the Earth. 337 00:19:58,742 --> 00:20:01,411 All the Peruvian flute bands were released. 338 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:05,712 And drove the guinea creatures back to Andes mountains. 339 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:11,155 Many people had died, but mankind had prevailed. 340 00:20:12,663 --> 00:20:15,187 All over the world, survivors were found. 341 00:20:15,573 --> 00:20:18,256 Living witnesses to the terror that had been seen. 342 00:20:19,402 --> 00:20:20,673 Here, look! Look! 343 00:20:21,027 --> 00:20:24,259 What the... I didn't have a tape in it. 344 00:20:26,388 --> 00:20:27,884 The guinea pirate lived, 345 00:20:28,004 --> 00:20:31,191 but was taken to the prison to live out the rest of his days. 346 00:20:32,181 --> 00:20:33,818 And people all over the world 347 00:20:33,938 --> 00:20:36,781 learned to support their local Peruvian flute bands. 348 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:39,646 And buy their CDs, 349 00:20:39,766 --> 00:20:42,081 for they protect us from the guinea creatures. 350 00:20:43,864 --> 00:20:47,047 As for me, I was returned home by homeland security. 351 00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:49,180 My parents were so happy. 352 00:20:50,662 --> 00:20:54,106 I realized that we don't always have control over what happens to us. 353 00:20:54,226 --> 00:20:56,216 We are but players on the stage of life. 354 00:20:57,855 --> 00:21:01,471 And I also learned to never listen when people come ask you for money. 355 00:21:06,151 --> 00:21:07,431 That's guy an asshole. 356 00:21:07,581 --> 00:21:08,835 Yeah, what a dick. 357 00:21:08,955 --> 00:21:10,245 I hate Craig! 358 00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:19,239 - Sir, sir we have a problem. - What now? 359 00:21:19,729 --> 00:21:23,478 The former director of homeland security that turned out to be a guinea pig, 360 00:21:23,972 --> 00:21:26,288 it attacked the guards, got out of its holding cell. 361 00:21:28,132 --> 00:21:29,582 My God, are you telling me... 362 00:21:29,858 --> 00:21:32,485 Yes, sir. It broke out of prison.