1
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WilLoW:...) January 27th, 2005

2
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I don't know, that looks pretty high up.

3
00:00:38,322 --> 00:00:40,512
Yeah. I think it'd be better to start lower.

4
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Dude, I really don't think it's smart, Cartman.

5
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This is gonna be totally cool, you guys.

6
00:00:47,268 --> 00:00:48,873
It's not gonna work; just come down from there.

7
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...Geez, this looks a lot higher from up here.

8
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What's going on?

9
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Cartman thinks he can fly off of his roof.

10
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Do it! Do it!

11
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I'm gonna.

12
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I wouldn't if I were you.

13
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Those wings don't look very strong.

14
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Don't listen to 'em, Cartman! I'm sure it'll work.
Go for it. Yaaay Cartman! Fly fly fly!

15
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Okay, here we go.

16
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Since the days of Copernicus, man has dreamed of flight.
On this historic day, let us go on to

17
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Awww, go on and do it already!

18
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Hold on, I'm givin' my speech! On this historic day, we
remember the Wright Brothers: Orville and Redenbacher,

19
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whose dreams and visions inspired generations.

20
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He's not gonna do it.

21
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And now, again, one man's vision ushers in a new era of aerial travel,
proving the power of imagination and intellect.

22
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The magic... of flight!

23
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Oh my God! Eric! Eric,

24
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Mommy's here. Sweetie?

25
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Oh what's wrong with him?

26
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I'm afraid that your son is... incredibly stupid.
He thought he could fly with cardboard wings.

27
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The stupidity is so severe that it caused a fall,
which has... put him into a deep coma.

28
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Coma... My God, for- for how long?

29
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There's no telling. He may never recover.
We'll just have to wait. And see.

30
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Seasons change, time passes by.

31
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As the weeks become
the months become the years.

32
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Eugh...

33
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Oh my... Doctor!

34
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He's awake!

35
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Wheh? Where am I?

36
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Oh, you've finally come back! It's a miracle!

37
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You're at the hospital, Eric.
You've... been in a coma for some time.

38
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Coma... How long?

39
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It's been two days.
Nurse, you can remove his face-warmer now.

40
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Yse, Doctor.

41
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Now, Eric, you've suffered massive head traume.
Your road to recovery will be long and arduous.

42
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At least another two days.

43
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Seasons change, time passes by.

44
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As the weeks become
the months become the years.

45
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You're doing so much better, muffin.

46
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Why the hell do I have to share my room with other patients?
This is bullcrap!

47
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Oh, you're sounding just like your old self again.

48
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I'm sorry, detectives,
there was nothing we could do.

49
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Damnit! Another murder victim!

50
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For three years the Left-Hand killer has
been at large and I've exhausted every lead!

51
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Maybe... I just don't have what it
takes to be a cop anymore.

52
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We'd better get back to the station, sir.

53
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Good, because you assholes have
kept me up for three hours!

54
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All right, let's go, Murphy. Hang on a second,
where are, where are my car keys?

55
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Probably in your front pocket, dumbass!

56
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Doctor, didn't you say that kid suffereed head trauma?

57
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Yes, it was pretty severe.

58
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What is it, Lou?

59
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I've... heard cases where people suffering head
trauma awaken to some psychic abilities.

60
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Aw, come on, sir.

61
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I know it's ridiculous

62
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, but I'm gonna explore every possibility I can.

63
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Hello, young man, could we have a quick word with you?

64
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Not now! The nurse is gonna walk
in any minute with my lunch.

65
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Twelve-thirty, Eric. Lunch time.

66
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Young man, how did you know
the nurse was gonna walk in just now?

67
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I don't know, I just knew it.

68
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Aww man, this smells like meatloaf. Again?!

69
00:04:35,983 --> 00:04:36,829
Yep, meatload again.

70
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Jesus, how did he...?

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Little boy...

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Well it's a snowball's chance in hell but...

73
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we were wondering if you could come down and see if your.
.. new powers could help us catch the killer.

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His new... powers?

75
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All right, make sure you get pictures
of everything in this crime scene.

76
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Who's the kid?

77
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He's supposed to be some kind of psychic.

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Aw Christ.

79
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This is... where the body was found.

80
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Multiple stab wounds, just like all the others.

81
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How come the outline is missing its hand?

82
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The killer always cuts off the left hand of his victim,
and keeps it as a trophy.

83
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Stand back, give him room!

84
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Come on, kid, concentrate!
What do you see in your mind?

85
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Ice cream. Covered with... chocolate sprinkles...

86
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Double-Stuff Oreos...

87
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He... He's taking the top of one and...

88
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...and he puts it together to make Quadruple-Stuffs!

89
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I see... ice cream, and sprinkles,
and Quadruple-Stuffs!

90
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Jesus Christ!

91
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Sir?

92
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Tom Johannsen, the owner of the ice cream shop!

93
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Yes? Oh, hello, detectives.

94
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Mr. Johansen,
could we have a quick word with you?

95
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Wuhsure, come on in.

96
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I'm afraid the house is a little bit
of a disaster area since I have

97
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Get him!

98
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Code 6! Code 6!

99
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Use the taser! Use the taser!

100
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Do it again!

101
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He put up a hell of a fight, but we got him!

102
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Why? Why??

103
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Congratulations, Eric. You just stopped the
biggest killer in South Park history.

104
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We would give you a reward, but I guess that knowing the
people of South Park are safe again is reward enough.

105
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Guess again.

106
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All right, here's a hundred dollars.

107
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Wow!

108
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His powers are uncanny. Take good care of him, Ms.
Cartman. Make sure he uses his powers for good.

109
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Oh he will. My little poopsiekins is a very good little boy.

110
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I'm a psychic and you are worse.
I have super-awesome powers. You don't.

111
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Cartman, what did you do?!

112
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Oh, didn't you hear, Kyle? I used my new psychic
abilities to catch the serial killer.

113
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And I made a hundred bucks!

114
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Nice old Mr. Johansen runs a candy shop!
He wasn't a killer and you know it!

115
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Then why did I see ice cream
and cookies when I closed my eyes?

116
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Because you're a fucking fatass, that's why?!

117
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Do not doubt my powers, Kyle!

118
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You don't have any powers!

119
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Don't make me do it, Kyle! I can make your
head explode with a single thoght!

120
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Wuh be careful, Kyle.

121
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He can't do crap!

122
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Fine, Kyle! You asked for it! Hee-at!

123
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There he is! Hey, Eric!

124
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We've got a little problem.

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What?

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While the ice-cream store owner was in jail,
another murder was commited.

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This body also had a missing hand and
a bowl of corn flakes next to it!

128
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Which can only mean one thing!

129
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Ha! You see?!

130
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That a copycat killer is on the loose! We need your
psychic abilities to catch this new guy right away!

131
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What?!

132
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We'll pay you up front this time! We've gotta
catch this new guy before he kills again.

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I'm afraid that my powers... are not for sale.... And
by that I mean they absolutely are for sale.

134
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Let's go!

135
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Tom, I'm standing in a meadow just outside of town where police
have discovered the first victim of the serial copycat killer.

136
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Child wunderkind Eric Cartman is now arriving on the scene.

137
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This is fuckin' ridiculous!

138
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Whattaya got, wunderkind?
Are ya seeing anything?

139
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No. Nothing.

140
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Maybe his powers have left him.

141
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Yeah.

142
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Wait a minute.

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Fried chicken. It's tender and it's fresh.

144
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There's maple syrup...
Maple syrup's being put on the chicken.

145
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What the hell is wrong with these people?!

146
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They're never gonna catch the serial killer.
He's too smart. Do you want to see my cotton panties?

147
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Hey! What about this guy?!

148
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Quiet! He's havin' a vision!

149
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It is fried chicken!

150
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Oh my God. It's a fried chicken sundae.

151
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"Junior, what are you doing out?" I'm sorry, Mother.
"You come home rigtht now and have sex with me!

152
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" No, Mommy!

153
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Hey, uh, does anyone know who that guy is?!

154
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I said quiet, you little brat, or I'll have
you arrested for interfering with the law!

155
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This is Park County News 4,
with your host, Jim Brown-ish

156
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The copycat killer of the cut-off-the-left-hand
killer has been arrested.

157
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Police used the help of Eric Cartman,

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a wunderkind psychic detective. At the crime scene, the
young psychic had visions flash before his mind,

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and the police immiedately arrested the
owner of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

160
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The young man's

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visions were so astounding that other police
departments have sought out his help.

162
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If I'm happy and I know it, clap my hands.
*clap* *clap* If I'm happy and I know it,

163
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clap my hands. *clap* *clap*

164
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Eric, sweetie, there's um,
some people here to see you.

165
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More people need to make use of my phenomenal gifts,
huh? Ahhh, it's so very tiring.

166
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Ah, no, these people claim that they
are the "real" psychic detectives.

167
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So, you are the little boy who's been taking all our work?!

168
00:10:13,384 --> 00:10:14,438
Oooh, I'll go make some tea.

169
00:10:15,553 --> 00:10:21,386
Kid, we have a problem. You didn't go through the proper
channels to become a psychic detective like we all did.

170
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Yeah!

171
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Proper channels?

172
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You were supposed to fill out the form
on the back of the comic book and pay

173
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the twenty five dollar fee for the degree
from the Psychic Detective School.

174
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I was given my gift from a tragic accident. I didn't
need to go to Psychic Detective School.

175
00:10:35,714 --> 00:10:39,310
Well you just can't say you're a psychic detective,
you have to use the ad in the comic book!

176
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You must pay the twenty five dollar fee and
give us ten percent of yoru earnings!

177
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Ten percent my balls, get lost!

178
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Very well, then you give us no choice. Roger?

179
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All right everyone!

180
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Oh, poopsies, what's going on?

181
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Stand back, mother!
We're having a telekinetic battle of minds!

182
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:24,657
O- o-o-o-o-oh!

183
00:11:25,814 --> 00:11:26,279
Enough!

184
00:11:29,944 --> 00:11:35,481
We are... obviously quite evenly matched.
I guess this will have to be settled in court.

185
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In court?

186
00:11:37,111 --> 00:11:41,218
We brought a class-action lawsuit against you!
We'll see you before the judge tomorrow!

187
00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:45,504
Is it over?

188
00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:53,038
Her name is...

189
00:11:53,062 --> 00:11:58,568
Veronica Crabtree, busdriver for the elementary school.
She was considered an ancillary character,

190
00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:00,175
one the fans wouldn't miss much.

191
00:12:00,796 --> 00:12:02,037
Jesus Christ! Cause of death?

192
00:12:02,719 --> 00:12:06,203
Same MO, sir. Multiple stab wounds,
left hand cut off and missing.

193
00:12:06,561 --> 00:12:10,850
So you're telling me somebody new is now copying
the crimes of the copycat killer?

194
00:12:11,307 --> 00:12:12,675
! Jesus! Where will it end?!

195
00:12:13,857 --> 00:12:17,431
Every time I put a killer behind bars, another
guy just steps in and takes his place!

196
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:18,765
What am I doing wrong?!

197
00:12:19,277 --> 00:12:23,126
Excuse me, sir? I think I know who did this.
We saw this guy at the last crime scene,

198
00:12:23,408 --> 00:12:25,668
and, and you know how serial killers sometimes
return to the scene of the crime?

199
00:12:26,118 --> 00:12:28,443
Well, I followed this guy to his house,
and when he left again,

200
00:12:28,478 --> 00:12:30,769
I collected some fingerprints
and did a blood-sample analysis.

201
00:12:30,914 --> 00:12:32,092
I'm pretty sure he's your man.

202
00:12:32,430 --> 00:12:33,635
How do you know?? Are you psychic??

203
00:12:33,925 --> 00:12:34,410
No.

204
00:12:34,499 --> 00:12:38,512
Look, kid, don't waste my time with your
blood-sampling fingerprinty hocus-pocus!

205
00:12:38,815 --> 00:12:42,434
I have to find this new killer now!
I owe it to that victim over there!

206
00:12:42,827 --> 00:12:46,098
I know she hadn't been in any recent episodes,
but DAMNIT she deserved better than this!

207
00:12:46,698 --> 00:12:48,516
Come on, Murph, we've gotta
talk to Eric Cartman again!

208
00:12:50,364 --> 00:12:51,513
Why won't anybody listen to me?!

209
00:12:51,868 --> 00:12:53,032
(Don't take it personally, Kyle)

210
00:12:53,316 --> 00:12:55,415
I AM taking it personally because
Cartman is a retard!

211
00:12:55,450 --> 00:12:58,871
Just because he hit his head
and went into a coma doesn't mean he's a- Wait,

212
00:12:59,053 --> 00:13:02,818
that's it. If I want people to listen to me,
I just have to be as stupid as Cartman.

213
00:13:04,897 --> 00:13:06,382
Dude, I really don't think that's a good idea!

214
00:13:06,761 --> 00:13:07,678
There has to be another way!

215
00:13:08,737 --> 00:13:10,133
Be sure to take me to the same hospital!

216
00:13:10,817 --> 00:13:15,764
Now Kyle, don't fly too close to the sun,
or it'll burn your wings, an- and you'll crash into the ocean.

217
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:18,166
Butters, Goddamnit.

218
00:13:18,688 --> 00:13:19,778
All right, here we go.

219
00:13:20,376 --> 00:13:24,253
Since the days of Copernicus, man has dreamed of flight.
On this historic day we rerme- aw screw it!

220
00:13:29,098 --> 00:13:29,879
Call an ambulance.

221
00:13:31,682 --> 00:13:37,527
Multiple arrests were made today for the murder of Hillary Neals.
Police raided the South Park Motel 6 at 4 a. m.,

222
00:13:37,794 --> 00:13:39,805
where seven psychic detectives were staying.

223
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:56,711
The psychic detectives' horrible crime was found
out by psychic detective Eric Cartman,

224
00:13:57,226 --> 00:14:01,448
who is now the only psychic not behind bars.
What an amazing coincidence.

225
00:14:02,404 --> 00:14:03,310
Cool.

226
00:14:04,546 --> 00:14:06,677
Ah, Kyle is at the door. Come in, Kyle!

227
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:13,655
Who are you?

228
00:14:13,922 --> 00:14:19,112
You, you give everyone else credit for my work,
because you fail to see my greatness.

229
00:14:20,895 --> 00:14:21,933
...'K. Sweet.

230
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:26,821
Because of you,
nobody knows the extent of my deeds.

231
00:14:28,019 --> 00:14:30,631
Oh yeah. Awesome.
Hold on, just a second.

232
00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:33,620
Mom, there's some homeless guy here.
Make him go away.

233
00:14:42,064 --> 00:14:43,285
Hey. Hey, what's goin' on??

234
00:14:44,002 --> 00:14:46,186
You are obviously a big fan of my work.

235
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:47,779
I don't even know you dude!

236
00:14:48,934 --> 00:14:53,171
But I am the serial killer! The one whose rightful
place in history you have smirched!

237
00:14:53,868 --> 00:14:54,550
Oh Jesus.

238
00:14:54,986 --> 00:14:58,576
And now you will have a place of honor,
as my nineteenth victim.

239
00:14:58,883 --> 00:15:01,923
No! No, you don't wanna kill me. Please,
I'll give you anything you want!

240
00:15:02,356 --> 00:15:07,934
Before you die, let me show you the things that I've done,
so you will understand the breadth of my transformation!

241
00:15:10,472 --> 00:15:12,732
This... is me at the grand canyon.

242
00:15:14,916 --> 00:15:18,572
Do you see? This is me at Mount Rushmore

243
00:15:18,956 --> 00:15:19,871
Do you see?

244
00:15:20,245 --> 00:15:20,689
Heheh.

245
00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:21,685
Do you see??

246
00:15:21,886 --> 00:15:22,670
Yes yes, I see!

247
00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:25,008
Here I am at the Alamo in San Antonio.

248
00:15:25,331 --> 00:15:27,579
This was just outside of the gift shop. Do you see??

249
00:15:27,841 --> 00:15:28,548
AAAAAAAH!

250
00:15:33,018 --> 00:15:38,454
Damnit! Damnit all to hell! They just found another body!
That means a fifth copycat killer is on the loose!

251
00:15:38,694 --> 00:15:39,683
Where's my psychic?!

252
00:15:39,933 --> 00:15:42,992
Sorry, Sarge, the psychic's mom says her son
hasn't been home for a couple of hours.

253
00:15:43,675 --> 00:15:47,750
Sir! Dr. Kels just called from the hospital! He
says another little boy just awoke from a coma,

254
00:15:48,039 --> 00:15:49,282
and is having psychic visions!

255
00:15:50,522 --> 00:15:51,149
Let's go!

256
00:15:53,117 --> 00:15:56,697
This is the young man here.
He was in a coma for over sixteen hours.

257
00:15:59,637 --> 00:16:02,145
Doctor, could you remove his face warmer?
We'd like to speak with him.

258
00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:03,124
Of course. Nurse?

259
00:16:05,979 --> 00:16:09,664
Young man, the doctor said you've had some.
.. visions about our newest murder?

260
00:16:10,943 --> 00:16:13,871
I see... a man... with a baseball cap.

261
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:19,572
He's killing now... Oh! I'm seeing it all flash before my eyes!
The guy's name is Michael Deets,

262
00:16:19,796 --> 00:16:23,005
and he lives at 621 Castillo Street. He's
usually there between seven and eleven p.

263
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:23,515
m.

264
00:16:24,014 --> 00:16:24,798
What do you think, Mitch?

265
00:16:25,341 --> 00:16:30,838
I don't know. How do we know this kid is really psychic?
I mean, this boy is certainly no Eric Cartman.

266
00:16:32,312 --> 00:16:35,948
All right, we'll check this Deets guy out. But
let's use that one thing that we never use.

267
00:16:36,589 --> 00:16:37,112
...Sir?

268
00:16:37,426 --> 00:16:39,616
You know, what's that one thing that
starts with an R that we never use?

269
00:16:40,859 --> 00:16:41,414
...Restraint?

270
00:16:41,646 --> 00:16:44,902
Yeah yeah, restraint. We'll check this guy out,
but let's use some restraint.

271
00:16:45,994 --> 00:16:50,351
Look! Look at the things I've done! Here
I am at Yellowstone National Park!

272
00:16:50,571 --> 00:16:54,405
Do you see?! Here are pictures of my
trip to Cheyenne for Frontier Days.

273
00:16:54,621 --> 00:16:55,133
Do you see?!

274
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:57,744
Oh my God! I'm so bored! Somebody help me!

275
00:17:04,906 --> 00:17:07,383
Good evening, sir.
We're Park County detectives.

276
00:17:07,418 --> 00:17:09,954
We were just wondering if we could
take a quick look around your house,

277
00:17:09,978 --> 00:17:10,752
Misterrr...

278
00:17:11,526 --> 00:17:12,257
God.

279
00:17:13,014 --> 00:17:16,031
Well Mr. God, it won't take but a second;
it might help us with an investigation.

280
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:26,499
(Hey! Come over here!)

281
00:17:27,290 --> 00:17:32,448
I see you like cutting the eyes out of photos of women.
My son is a big fan of that too.

282
00:17:33,698 --> 00:17:34,456
Sarge! In here!

283
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:43,647
Jesus H... That boy was right!
Arrest that guy!

284
00:17:44,833 --> 00:17:47,848
Whoawhoawaitwaitheywait wait yo!
Oh wait a minute, no ah, I'm wrong.

285
00:17:48,264 --> 00:17:48,774
Sir?

286
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:52,419
This isn't the guy. The serial killer always
cuts off the victims' left hands.

287
00:17:53,024 --> 00:17:53,488
Right.

288
00:17:53,736 --> 00:17:54,455
Well those aren't left hands.

289
00:17:55,013 --> 00:18:00,353
See, on your left hand, the thumb faces to the left.
Those are all right hands.

290
00:18:00,056 --> 00:18:00,388
Ohhh.

291
00:18:01,055 --> 00:18:02,064
Nope, this isn't our man.

292
00:18:02,778 --> 00:18:04,927
We're sorry, Mr. God.
It appears we've wasted your time.

293
00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:07,735
(Hey! Get me out of here!)

294
00:18:09,662 --> 00:18:12,164
Heh, pretty amazing coincidence that guy
had a bunch of hands on his wall.

295
00:18:12,476 --> 00:18:13,993
Heh, no wonder that boy thought he was a killer.

296
00:18:14,808 --> 00:18:17,229
Yeah... Amazing coincidence...

297
00:18:17,874 --> 00:18:18,604
Heh- sir?

298
00:18:18,914 --> 00:18:22,101
Call it police intuition, but sonethin'
in there just didn't feel right.

299
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:25,174
Wait a minute.

300
00:18:25,910 --> 00:18:26,688
Sarge...

301
00:18:33,657 --> 00:18:34,300
What is it?

302
00:18:35,309 --> 00:18:37,199
I'm not sure. I'm gonna have to run some tests.

303
00:19:17,706 --> 00:19:20,985
Murphy, do you remember
what I was supposed to be doing?

304
00:19:21,842 --> 00:19:27,387
Oh. Uhhh... Oh. Something about hands, sir?
Uh for the serial killer?

305
00:19:27,716 --> 00:19:29,367
Oh right! The hands! Right!

306
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,563
Oh my God. Murphy!

307
00:19:44,348 --> 00:19:45,925
You're not gonna believe this.

308
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,010
That's it, no more pictures.

309
00:19:53,905 --> 00:19:54,920
Time to die.

310
00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:58,428
No, please! I'm sorry I gave other people credit for your killings.
Ahah, it was,

311
00:19:58,795 --> 00:20:01,381
it was very wrong for me to lie about the
other psychics and get them arrested.

312
00:20:01,898 --> 00:20:03,792
Your hand will be one with the others.

313
00:20:04,228 --> 00:20:06,842
Please just let me go! Ah I'm gonna tell
everyone I'm not really psychic!

314
00:20:07,103 --> 00:20:08,626
I've learned my lesson!
Please, I don't wanna-

315
00:20:10,984 --> 00:20:13,108
I don't wanna have to use
my psychic mind missile on you!

316
00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,223
Hold it right there, killer!

317
00:20:28,371 --> 00:20:29,650
You got here just in time.

318
00:20:29,685 --> 00:20:33,077
He was gonna kill me because he was insanely
jealous of my incredible psychic ability.

319
00:20:35,629 --> 00:20:40,220
Well young man, you did an amazing thing. Not only
did your psychic visions help us catch the killer,

320
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,680
but a lot of innocent people are out of jail.

321
00:20:43,153 --> 00:20:44,510
Yes, thank you very much, Kyle.

322
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:46,005
Yes, thanks.

323
00:20:46,373 --> 00:20:47,803
You're certainly a better psychic then Eric.

324
00:20:48,172 --> 00:20:52,097
No, don't you see? Cartman never had psychic visions.
And neither do these people.

325
00:20:52,411 --> 00:20:54,237
The plain simple truth is that nobody is psychic.

326
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:57,239
There's a logical explanation for every
psychic story you've ever heard.

327
00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,729
Do you think that's true?

328
00:20:59,795 --> 00:21:01,607
It must be true. The kid is psychic.

329
00:21:02,585 --> 00:21:06,578
But I don't suppose it really matters much. Because in the end,
the way I caught the killer was with.

330
00:21:07,168 --> 00:21:09,746
.. good old-fashioned police work.
Come on, Murphy.

331
00:21:10,948 --> 00:21:14,767
Well young man, I guess that
just leaves one score to settle.

332
00:21:15,063 --> 00:21:15,823
You can't hurt me.

333
00:21:16,228 --> 00:21:17,830
Then let this be our final battle!

334
00:21:23,146 --> 00:21:23,944
Just stop it!

335
00:21:25,564 --> 00:21:27,074
Stoopp iitt!!

336
00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:33,670
There's a logical explanation for that.