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Previously on South Park…
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00:00:09,086 --> 00:00:10,541
Today, we're going to talk about hell.
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Hello, Satan!
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Saddam…
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Us Jews don't believe in hell.
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…But what if we're wrong?
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Let's go.
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…they've killed Kenny!
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And he had sins that he didn't confess!
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No, Saddam. I'm with Chris now.
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Boys, it is your Christian duty
to save the souls of your friends!
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I love you, Satan.
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00:00:32,926 --> 00:00:34,551
I love you too, Saddam.
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Fonz, there's no way you can jump
that shark with your water skis.
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Aaaay! I've gotta try, Richie.
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Dude, if this guy's goin'
to hell, who's gonna save us?
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Well, it looks like we're gonna have
to save everyone in this town ourselves!
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Go Fonz!!!
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And now the exciting
comclusion of… South Park.
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No! No! No! No!
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I told him he couldn't do it.
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I am saying this because
we must be saved-uh.
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The LORD is powerful and he will smote the sinners and send them to everlasting hell-uh.
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If you do not live your life for Him-uh,
then to the lake of fire you shall go-uh!
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You see that, parents. Your children have refused to come into class since this morning.
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I'm afraid your son is
the leader, Ms. Cartman.
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Apparently he's read the entire Bible, and
now he's scaring the hell out of everyone.
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Boopie-kins. It's time to stop
preaching damnation to everyone, sweetie.
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Don't you guys, um, persecrute
our religous beliefs.
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Yeah!
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We are not trying to persecute you kids,
but you're supposed to be in school.
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What purpose does school have?
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The Bible says the only goal in this
life is to praise God and get into heaven.
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Yeah, and this life is short.
The afterlife is forever.
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Don't listen to them, kids.
You have to go to school.
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Many of you knew Kenny McCormick. He was a playful school-going eight-year-old.
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And then yesterday, he was
smacked down by the Lord-uh!
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God bitch-slapped him right
to the fiery depths of hell.
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So when will you go?! Tomorrow?!
Ten years?! Does it mattah?! No!
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Because unless you give this life to
the Lord, that life belongs to Satan-uh!
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But we cannot worship God in that
church where that priest of sin resides,
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so we will build a new church-uh. With
crystal walls, a ceiling 80 feet high,
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and a slide that connects this
part hmya to this part hmya.
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Who will help us?
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I will.
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Praise God-uh!
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If I go spend the night with Saddam,
then it's over between me and Chris.
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Chris has been so nice to me and I
know Saddam will just hurt me again.
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M-maybe I'll just go talk to Saddam.
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I need closure, yeah.
That's it, I need closure.
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What am I doing??
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What took yo so long, baby??
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Saddam, I'm just here to talk.
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Great! Let's talk! Hm,
this bed is comfy-bumpy.
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Saddam, I only came here
because I need closure.
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Sounds fun. You know
me—I'll try anything.
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No! Saddam, listen to me.
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Would you like a drink?
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Um maybe just
- a little one.
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I have to go back soon. I need you to understand that we can't be together anymore.
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I need you to not come by the
condo and not try to see me.
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Chris thinks we can all be friends, but
I don't. And I have to focus on Chris now.
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What is this?
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These hotels have all
kinds of crazy channels.
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Saddam, will you listen to me?! Chris is a great person. He's the one I wanna be with now.
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Really? So then… What
are you doing here?
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Well I don't know about you, but
this video is gettin' me pretty hot!
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Saddam…
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Here, have another drink.
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Ooh, whoa. God, my head. Drank
too much. Chris! Oh no!!
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Man, look at that! We went through 14 bottles of vegetable oil! Ewuh, I'm all greasy.
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Oh God, what time is it?!
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Last night was awesome!
Are we together again now?
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I don't know. I, I guess so, but
now I have to go home and tell Chris.
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Screw him!!
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No, Saddam! I at least owe him an explanation! I jusst don't know what I'm gonna say.
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I know how to solve this little problem.
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We are now entering Ensenada, the second
largest city on the Mexican Baja Peninsula.
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We have now traveled over 2000
miles since leaving New York City.
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We'll just be stopping here for a few moments for gas, and then our tour will continue on to its final destination.
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Oiga. Hay algo pegado bajo el autobus.
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Quey? What's stuck to
the bottom of the bus?
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Oh, goodness! We must have run over a
little Mexican further up north. Is it okay?
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Pienso que sí.
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Well, here's fifty for the gas. Adios.
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(Where am I?)
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¿Qué?
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(WHERE AM I?)
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¿Qué?
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This is bea-utiful. Thine
church is almost completed.
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00:05:04,064 --> 00:05:05,914
There's no way God will
want to send us to hell now.
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Yeah, this church
kicks a- eh- it kicks!
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Hello, boys.
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Don't try to take me away again, Mom and Dad! I told you! I renounced the Jewish faith!
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00:05:13,532 --> 00:05:17,569
It's not that, Kyle. It's just that Eric's
mother needs to see you all right away!
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Just really quick—she
says it's very important.
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Very well. Yea. Guys, let us walk to
mine home and see what mine mom wants.
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I sure hope this woiks.
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Hello, kiddies. I made you all
powdered dougnut pancake surprise.
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Wow, cool.
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No! This is a trick! Do
not vex me, oh temptress!
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What?
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This is a distraction from
our work on the church!
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Do not think that you can tempt
us with toys and new games
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and tidings of powdered
dougnut pancake surprise!
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For it is the AFTERLIFE we
have concerned ourselves with!
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Not the pleasures of this earth,
but salvarion in the world aftah!!
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Yeah!
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Oh. Well, alrighty then.
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I… don't think it worked.
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Let us get back to our work at the church
Yea. I shall answer the phone, hyah. Hello?
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(Cartman?! Cartman, you've gotta
help me, and I'm not foolin' around!)
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Oh my God!!
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What?
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It's Kenny. He's calling
from beyond the grave!
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Kenny?! What's he say?!
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Ask him what hell is like.
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Kenny! You have to tell us about hell!
Give us every last horrible detail!
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Oh, God, Chris is gonna be so
mad at me. Well, here it goes.
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Hey you.
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Hi, Chris.
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You… were out all night.
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Yeah, I just… spent the night
walking around the marina.
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Satan. You know you're not a very good
liar. You went and saw Saddam, didn't you?
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Yes.
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Satan, I understand.
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What?
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I still feel secure and safe with you.
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Oh, n-NO!
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What? What's wrong? I said it's okay.
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I know.
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Well, what more do you want from me?
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Well-, could you not be
such a pussy about it?
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I mean, can't you just say "If you ever
see Saddam again, I'll break your legs!" or,
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or "I'm gonna go kick
Saddam's ass!" or something?
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00:07:03,707 --> 00:07:07,440
Satan, I'm a Nineties
man. I cry when I need to.
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I share my feelings and I keep
my mind open about everything.
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Just… give me some boundaries, be jealous, go throw a football around, for Christ's sake.
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Now you're starting to hurt my feelings.
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Ah-, I'm sorry, Chris, it's… it's
not you, really, it's, it's me.
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You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and for some reason, I just can't accept that.
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Die, pussy!
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Chris! Saddam, what
the hell are you doing?!
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There. I got rid of the problem
for you. Now there's no conflict.
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No! Not like this!
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Friends, I have to tell you that last night I received a phone call from beyond the grave-eh.
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It was our departed friend, Kennih!
Calling from the depths of hell!
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And he described what hell
is like in horrid detail-uh.
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He said that in hell,
the smell is awful.
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He said that in hell,
everyone speaks Spanish.
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00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:11,100
He said there is water in hell, but if you drink it you pee blood out your ass for seven hours-uh!
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And perhaps worst of all, in hell, there are
dozens and dozens of little trinket stores!
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But they all have the same
little trinkets in them-eh!
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Where is our daughter.
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Dad?
156
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Marcy! You're coming home this instant!
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We are saving your daughter
from the clutches of hell, suh!
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You're not gonna make my
daughter part of your cult!
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Your daughter could die
tomorrow, and then what?!
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You're just a stupid little fat kid who thinks that
- Aaaah!
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Stephen? Steven, no!
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The Lord has spoken again-uh! O,
forgive us, Lord, for our sins!
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Forgive us, Lord.
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Let us pray. Heavenly Father, do not send us to hell. We're sorry, Whatever we did, we're sorry.
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Stephen? Stephen??
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Where, where am I?
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Where are we?
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No doubt about it…
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Hello, newcomers, and welcome.
Can everybody hear me? Hello?
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00:09:02,401 --> 00:09:03,882
Can everybuh
-? Okay.
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00:09:03,883 --> 00:09:09,816
Uh, I'm the hell director. Uh, it looks like we have about 8,615 of you newbies today,
172
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:13,249
and for those of you who are a
little confused, uh, you are dead,
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and this is hell, so, abandon
all hope and uh yada yada yada.
174
00:09:17,627 --> 00:09:20,854
Uh, we are now going to start the
orientation process, which will last about-
175
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Hey, wait a minute, I shouldn't be here.
176
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I was a totally strict and devout
Protestant! I thought we went to heaven!
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00:09:26,375 --> 00:09:28,227
Yes, well I'm afraid you were wrong.
178
00:09:28,262 --> 00:09:32,152
I was a practicing Jehovah's Witness.
Uh, you picked the wrong religion as well.
179
00:09:32,187 --> 00:09:34,087
Well, who was right?
Who gets into heaven?
180
00:09:34,122 --> 00:09:38,641
I'm afraid it was the Mormons. Yes,
the Mormons were the correct answer.
181
00:09:39,834 --> 00:09:45,040
So now I'd like to quickly introduce your
new ruler and master for eternity, Satan!
182
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:51,112
Now you are all part of my domain!
183
00:09:51,113 --> 00:09:54,716
Everyday in hell grows
larger as my minions…
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00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:57,050
my m-minions uh… muh,
185
00:09:57,051 --> 00:10:01,875
I'm sorry. I just can't do
this today. I'm just… I'm sorry.
186
00:10:06,309 --> 00:10:09,676
Uh, okay. Thank you Satan. Now,
uh, let's begin with the Muslims…
187
00:10:09,711 --> 00:10:11,559
Satan! 'Scuse me. Excuse me.
188
00:10:11,594 --> 00:10:13,703
Chris! But I thought you were dead!
189
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,991
Yeah, well, where was
I gonna go? Detroit?
190
00:10:16,026 --> 00:10:18,423
Chris, I didn't mean for
Saddam to stab you in-
191
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:23,464
Hey, it's alright. All that matters is that
I'm back, and we're together forever. Right?
192
00:10:23,499 --> 00:10:26,328
Uh, …yeah. Gr-great.
193
00:10:29,534 --> 00:10:32,350
"Let's see. Matthew 15:11.
194
00:10:32,351 --> 00:10:37,292
"Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which comes OUT of the mouth defileth a man."
195
00:10:37,293 --> 00:10:39,482
That's a good one,
Clyde Frog. Interesting.
196
00:10:39,483 --> 00:10:41,186
Eric, Sister Anne has come to visit you.
197
00:10:41,221 --> 00:10:44,478
Yea. It is nice to see you, Sister,
but I must prepare for my next sermon.
198
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,715
Eric, you need to
stop what you're doing.
199
00:10:46,716 --> 00:10:50,612
You need to tell all the kids to go back
to school, and back to their normal lives.
200
00:10:50,625 --> 00:10:52,536
Sister, have you read this book.
201
00:10:52,571 --> 00:10:54,443
Yes, Eric. A lot more than you have.
202
00:10:54,478 --> 00:10:57,890
Then you know what it says happens
to those who don't follow the Lord-uh.
203
00:10:57,925 --> 00:11:02,074
Eric, the Lord just doesn't send everybody
to hell. That wouldn't make sense.
204
00:11:02,075 --> 00:11:03,647
He wants people to live their llives.
205
00:11:03,691 --> 00:11:05,573
Are you saying that what
the Bible says isn't true?
206
00:11:05,608 --> 00:11:06,306
No.
207
00:11:06,341 --> 00:11:10,293
We've got Jews and perverts and bullies and all kinds of sinners in this town, Sister Anne-uh!
208
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:12,507
And without the priest we've
decided to save ourselves.
209
00:11:12,508 --> 00:11:15,289
The only ones that kids can
trust now are me and Jesus!
210
00:11:16,898 --> 00:11:18,585
Wait a minute. That's it.
211
00:11:19,473 --> 00:11:23,819
…And I'm gonna save all of you right
now. I'm gonna heal your sins-eh.
212
00:11:27,794 --> 00:11:30,134
Hello Satan-ooh, crap! It's you!
213
00:11:30,169 --> 00:11:31,355
Yeah. It's me.
214
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:32,541
I thought I killed you!
215
00:11:33,252 --> 00:11:34,897
Well, where was I gonna go? Detroit?
216
00:11:34,932 --> 00:11:35,560
Right, right.
217
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:36,973
Do you have a couple of
minutes to go for a walk?
218
00:11:37,008 --> 00:11:38,022
A walk?
219
00:11:38,057 --> 00:11:40,173
Yeah. Just real quick.
Around the park or somethin'.
220
00:11:41,047 --> 00:11:42,527
Is this some kind of trick?
221
00:11:42,562 --> 00:11:45,739
No, I just want you to go for
a quick walk with me. Please?
222
00:11:45,774 --> 00:11:53,444
Well, alright. Just let me grab
somethin' real quick. Okay, let's walk.
223
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:59,281
Saddam, I get the feeling that
you don't like me very much.
224
00:11:59,316 --> 00:12:02,278
Gee, whatever gave you that idea?
When I stabbed you in the head?!
225
00:12:02,313 --> 00:12:05,201
Look, Satan is a very
important person to me.
226
00:12:05,202 --> 00:12:07,139
And I know he's an
important person to you, too.
227
00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:10,119
So don't you think it's best for us to just
- try and get along?
228
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,680
I realize that some
things about me bother you.
229
00:12:12,681 --> 00:12:15,452
So I'd like to hear what those
things are so that I can work on them.
230
00:12:15,653 --> 00:12:17,539
You know what I don't like you, Chris?
231
00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:19,892
Because you're the kind of guy
who, if someone didn't like him,
232
00:12:19,893 --> 00:12:21,941
would take him for a walk
in the park and ask him why.
233
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:23,517
You're a pussy!
234
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,202
Oh God!
235
00:12:40,601 --> 00:12:44,597
Today this Jewish boy and all
sinners are going to be saved-uh!
236
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,647
Kyle, do you believe in God-uh?!
237
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:47,264
Yes!
238
00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:49,089
Do you want to be saved from hell-uh?!
239
00:12:49,124 --> 00:12:49,844
Yes!
240
00:12:49,879 --> 00:12:55,929
That's good, because right now, all the Jewness is comin' out of your body, bein' replaced by the Spirit of God-uh!
241
00:12:57,269 --> 00:13:00,373
Praise God! How do you feel now? Do
you feel the light of God inside o'ya?
242
00:13:00,408 --> 00:13:01,921
Uh, I think so.
243
00:13:01,956 --> 00:13:03,029
Praise the Lord-uh!
244
00:13:04,716 --> 00:13:08,820
For he is Lord, he is Lord…
245
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:10,133
Bring up the next person!
246
00:13:10,134 --> 00:13:15,001
This boy has been crippled with sin-uh. But
I hear God saying that this boy will walk!
247
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,185
Huh-ah Halleluyah!
248
00:13:17,177 --> 00:13:20,307
We are gonna save you and you
are gonna walk with the Lord-uh!
249
00:13:21,252 --> 00:13:22,827
Devil be GOAN-uh!
250
00:13:23,733 --> 00:13:25,023
Now WALK, Timmih!
251
00:13:26,070 --> 00:13:28,277
Come on, Timmy, get
out of that chair-uh!
252
00:13:28,166 --> 00:13:31,433
The Lord wants you to
walk,Timmih! Oo-WALK, Timmih!
253
00:13:33,053 --> 00:13:34,020
He walks-uh!
254
00:13:36,419 --> 00:13:38,230
Yes! Praise the Lord!
255
00:13:38,265 --> 00:13:39,522
Praise the Lord!
256
00:13:42,359 --> 00:13:46,741
And now it's like there's one guy who's horrible to me but I'm totally sexually attracted to,
257
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:51,149
and then one guy who's really nice to me
but I'm not sexually attracted to at all.
258
00:13:51,184 --> 00:13:52,265
Wow, that really sucks.
259
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:55,555
I've asked everybody for advice,
but nobody seems to know the answer.
260
00:13:55,590 --> 00:13:58,578
Well, there is one person who I always
used to ask when I needed advice.
261
00:13:58,613 --> 00:13:59,462
Who?
262
00:13:59,497 --> 00:14:00,412
God.
263
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:05,851
God?? I can't do that. I haven't
spoken to God in like, 5000 years.
264
00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,315
Well then, maybe it's time.
265
00:14:10,272 --> 00:14:14,000
Do dodo dum do dodo.
Do dodo dum do dodo.
266
00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:16,880
For he is Lord, Lord Lord Lord.
267
00:14:16,881 --> 00:14:18,464
Where are you from, little boy?
268
00:14:18,499 --> 00:14:18,916
Denver.
269
00:14:18,951 --> 00:14:22,222
And God is telling me that you
have… bad eyesight. Is that it?
270
00:14:22,257 --> 00:14:23,018
Yeah, that's right.
271
00:14:24,019 --> 00:14:28,003
Well, God is gonna heal those eyes,
and save you from the devil begone!
272
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:29,785
Hooray!
273
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:33,045
For he is Lord, Lord Lord Lord.
274
00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:36,445
Right here we have a little
girl who is very, very ugly!
275
00:14:36,446 --> 00:14:38,971
Do you believe he is gonna
cure your face of the uglies?!
276
00:14:39,050 --> 00:14:39,664
Yes!!
277
00:14:39,699 --> 00:14:43,004
He is gonna take that ugly face and
make you reasonable to look at! Bah!
278
00:14:44,735 --> 00:14:46,751
Oh, good Lord, somebody say "Amen!"
279
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:47,536
Amen!
280
00:14:47,571 --> 00:14:49,107
Lord Lord Lord.
281
00:14:53,638 --> 00:14:58,050
Hi hi, welcome to heaven, brother. You've followed the Mormon faith, and so you've been let in!
282
00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:00,597
Uh, actually, I'm just stopping by.
283
00:15:00,632 --> 00:15:02,723
Well, you've picked a great time!
284
00:15:02,724 --> 00:15:05,766
We've got cookies and punch and we're
just about to start playing charades.
285
00:15:05,801 --> 00:15:06,720
Alright. Yeah.
286
00:15:06,755 --> 00:15:10,904
And then, brother Stephen's brought his guitar so we can sing songs about how much it hurts to lie.
287
00:15:12,187 --> 00:15:15,095
Ah, look, I just need to
talk with God. Is he around?
288
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:18,011
Sure. All you have to do is
say his name and he's there.
289
00:15:18,046 --> 00:15:19,451
I'm so grateful for that.
290
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,977
Me, too. Uh huh.
291
00:15:21,012 --> 00:15:21,773
Great. Thanks.
292
00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:30,231
Ah. Hello? g-God? It's uh… Satan.
293
00:15:33,752 --> 00:15:36,364
Yea. Look upon me, and know me.
294
00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:37,383
Hi, God.
295
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,688
Hello, Satan. It's- been a long time.
296
00:15:40,723 --> 00:15:41,617
Yeah.
297
00:15:41,652 --> 00:15:45,398
What brings you here? Do you wish to
mount your unholy war against heaven?
298
00:15:45,433 --> 00:15:48,863
No, I have a problem, and I- need your advice.
299
00:15:49,681 --> 00:15:52,842
You want to rule more than hell?
You want to destroy the earth?
300
00:15:53,298 --> 00:15:55,796
No, it's kind of a long story but,
301
00:15:55,797 --> 00:16:01,886
well, it all started when this Iraqi dictator, Saddam Hussein, was killed by a pack of wild boars.
302
00:16:01,887 --> 00:16:06,424
I remember when I first met him in
hell. It was a lovely morning in April…
303
00:16:06,459 --> 00:16:09,170
Halleluyah! Praise the Lord!
304
00:16:09,171 --> 00:16:11,713
And now, I'm receiving a
message directly from God-uh!
305
00:16:11,714 --> 00:16:16,113
God is telling me that… each and every
one of you is to walk up to the stage,
306
00:16:16,114 --> 00:16:18,350
and give me one dollar!
307
00:16:19,230 --> 00:16:22,406
So I want everyone to feel the
love of God by coming up heah ,
308
00:16:22,407 --> 00:16:24,602
and putting a dollar in the box-ah!
309
00:16:24,603 --> 00:16:26,683
Come on, don't be shy! Come on now!
310
00:16:27,044 --> 00:16:28,791
Dude, that seems-
kind of- weird.
311
00:16:28,826 --> 00:16:30,957
Yeah. I don't remember him
saying anything about this.
312
00:16:31,541 --> 00:16:37,789
Heh-and now Chris and Saddam just keep killing each other over and over and… I don't know which one to pick.
313
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,333
Jesus, what the hell happened to you?
314
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:42,538
Huh?
315
00:16:42,573 --> 00:16:45,322
You got kicked out of here
for being a headstrong rebel.
316
00:16:45,323 --> 00:16:47,317
And now you're a whiny little bitch.
317
00:16:47,352 --> 00:16:49,422
Well, I just don't
know which one to pick.
318
00:16:49,746 --> 00:16:52,415
No, you've become
dependent on relationships.
319
00:16:52,416 --> 00:16:56,149
So you haven't even considered the
option of not being with either of them.
320
00:16:56,150 --> 00:16:59,773
And if you're not sexually attracted
to someone, you're not ever going to be.
321
00:16:59,774 --> 00:17:02,606
But Saddam isn't right
either. He's the other extreme.
322
00:17:02,607 --> 00:17:07,040
You need to spend time alone so that you
can find the balance, the middle ground.
323
00:17:07,041 --> 00:17:09,566
That's what I always do,
because I'm a Buddhist.
324
00:17:09,601 --> 00:17:13,311
God, you're right. You know, I've
had steady relationships for the last…
325
00:17:13,312 --> 00:17:16,281
thousand years, and when one ends
I just start another one, but…
326
00:17:16,282 --> 00:17:19,065
I haven't taken the time
to be secure with myself.
327
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:19,824
Bingo.
328
00:17:21,137 --> 00:17:25,953
Hey
- Thanks, God. I forgot how clear you make things sometimes.
329
00:17:25,988 --> 00:17:27,985
It was nice to see you again, Satan.
330
00:17:28,020 --> 00:17:28,855
You too.
331
00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:29,891
Good-bye.
332
00:17:32,784 --> 00:17:34,680
Would you like to stay
for some cookies and punch?
333
00:17:34,715 --> 00:17:35,658
Yes, would you?
334
00:17:35,693 --> 00:17:37,707
Uh, no, I need to be getting back.
335
00:17:37,742 --> 00:17:40,247
Oh, alright then, but you're
gonna miss our big play.
336
00:17:40,282 --> 00:17:43,677
Yes. We're going to do a play about
how alcohol can ruin family life.
337
00:17:43,712 --> 00:17:47,126
Wow. That sounds great, but uh, I really
- gotta go.
338
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,637
Wehull, he seemed like a nice fellow.
339
00:17:50,672 --> 00:17:51,281
Yes.
340
00:17:52,551 --> 00:17:54,265
Let's go make things out of egg cartons.
341
00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:55,806
Oooo, yeah. I'll do that.
342
00:18:00,029 --> 00:18:04,840
Yeess. Yeess. It worked,
you guys, it actually worked!
343
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:05,594
What worked?
344
00:18:05,629 --> 00:18:09,708
Eheverybody bought the whole act! They
keep giving and giving until we have it all!
345
00:18:09,743 --> 00:18:10,396
What??
346
00:18:10,431 --> 00:18:11,687
You're keeping that money yourself?
347
00:18:11,722 --> 00:18:16,277
Of course, you guys! And then
we can make… ten million dollars!
348
00:18:16,278 --> 00:18:20,425
Look, the tooth fairy thing didn't work, the boy band thing didn't last, so I tried this route.
349
00:18:20,472 --> 00:18:21,476
Waitwaitwaitwaitwait.
350
00:18:21,477 --> 00:18:24,239
You mean that this whole thing has just been a way for you to make ten million dollars?
351
00:18:24,274 --> 00:18:27,166
It all came to me days ago, when
we were first in Sunday school.
352
00:18:27,201 --> 00:18:28,703
Well, what about going
to hell and all that?!
353
00:18:28,738 --> 00:18:31,460
Dude, if God is all-understanding,
he wouldn't send us to hell.
354
00:18:31,461 --> 00:18:32,817
Even Sister Anne told me that.
355
00:18:32,852 --> 00:18:34,086
Then why didn't you tell us?!
356
00:18:34,121 --> 00:18:36,427
My brain is of a much
larger size than you guys's.
357
00:18:36,428 --> 00:18:39,263
I couldn't expect you to understand,
not until you actually saw the cash flow!
358
00:18:39,298 --> 00:18:41,491
The only thing of yours that's
larger in size is your big fat ass!
359
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,127
Suck my balls!
360
00:18:43,162 --> 00:18:44,918
Dude, I an so disillusioned right now.
361
00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:46,970
Die, pussy!
362
00:18:52,852 --> 00:18:58,877
Guys, guys, guys! Look, you both can
stop fighting now! I've made a decision.
363
00:18:59,358 --> 00:18:59,910
You have?
364
00:19:00,256 --> 00:19:03,593
Yes. I… don't want to be
with either one of you.
365
00:19:03,628 --> 00:19:04,355
What?!
366
00:19:04,390 --> 00:19:08,294
Saddam, you're an asshole. And you'll
never be the friend that I want.
367
00:19:08,295 --> 00:19:12,602
And Chris, well, you're a pussy.
And you'll never be the lover I want.
368
00:19:12,603 --> 00:19:16,336
So I'm just gonna be alone for
a while and learn to like myself.
369
00:19:17,255 --> 00:19:19,911
Satan. Can we go for a walk in the park?
370
00:19:19,946 --> 00:19:24,675
No, I'm not going on a walk! You're a pussy,
Chris, and you drive me crazy; go away!
371
00:19:24,710 --> 00:19:25,542
Fine.
372
00:19:25,577 --> 00:19:28,238
Hell, you can't leave me,
Satan! I won't let you!
373
00:19:31,399 --> 00:19:35,526
Today is another day! And that's another
dollar the Lord needs from you-uh!
374
00:19:35,527 --> 00:19:37,615
So come on up and give to the Lord-uh!
375
00:19:37,624 --> 00:19:41,302
Alright kids, it's time to
go! It's time for this to stop!
376
00:19:41,627 --> 00:19:43,691
Sister Anne is a blasphemer!
377
00:19:43,726 --> 00:19:47,182
I know you won't listen to me.
That's why I brought somebody else.
378
00:19:49,761 --> 00:19:51,108
Wow!
379
00:19:51,143 --> 00:19:51,974
Jesus!
380
00:19:52,009 --> 00:19:52,586
Uh oh.
381
00:19:52,621 --> 00:19:55,945
Kids, you need to all stop spending all
your time here and go back to school.
382
00:19:56,649 --> 00:19:58,236
Jesus, ixnay on the oolschay.
383
00:19:58,237 --> 00:20:02,527
God doesn't want you to spend all your time being afraid of hell, or praising His name.
384
00:20:02,528 --> 00:20:06,589
God wants you to spend your time helping
others, and living a good, happy life.
385
00:20:06,590 --> 00:20:08,693
That's how you live for Him.
386
00:20:08,728 --> 00:20:12,451
Ee-yes, by doing that, and,
putting a dollar in the box-uh!
387
00:20:13,569 --> 00:20:14,822
Let's go ice-skating.
388
00:20:16,288 --> 00:20:18,421
Uhwe can help Timmy learn
how to ice-skate, too.
389
00:20:18,456 --> 00:20:19,244
Yeah.
390
00:20:20,837 --> 00:20:24,313
No, come back! You face
everlasting damnation!
391
00:20:24,314 --> 00:20:30,027
Wait! No! No! I can't be cheated out of
my ten million dollars again! God damnit!
392
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,218
Serves you right, Cartman!
393
00:20:31,253 --> 00:20:31,973
Yeah!
394
00:20:32,008 --> 00:20:35,095
But Eric, I think this time
I have to teach you a lesson!
395
00:20:35,096 --> 00:20:38,029
I'm sending you somewhere
to think about your sins!
396
00:20:38,064 --> 00:20:39,213
You're gonna send me to hell?
397
00:20:39,248 --> 00:20:40,582
No. Worse!
398
00:20:44,158 --> 00:20:45,017
(Eric! Eric!)
399
00:20:45,599 --> 00:20:46,510
Aw, crap!
400
00:20:51,488 --> 00:20:52,618
Hi, Bob. Hi, Rick.
401
00:20:52,653 --> 00:20:53,363
Hi, Satan.
402
00:20:53,398 --> 00:20:54,455
There you are!
403
00:20:54,490 --> 00:20:56,104
Awgh. Not again.
404
00:20:56,139 --> 00:20:59,564
You know you can't live without
me. Now GET THAT ASS BACK TO BED!
405
00:20:59,599 --> 00:21:02,297
Saddam, I told you: I
don't need you anymore!
406
00:21:02,332 --> 00:21:04,782
You can't leave me,
Satan. Nobody leaves me.
407
00:21:04,817 --> 00:21:06,675
Yes I can! Raaarrr
408
00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:09,716
Aw, you little -prick!
409
00:21:09,751 --> 00:21:11,378
Good-bye forever, Saddam!
410
00:21:11,878 --> 00:21:14,450
What are you talking about?! You can
kill me, but I'll be back tomorrow.
411
00:21:14,485 --> 00:21:18,570
Not this time! I asked a favor of
an old friend of mine to let you in!
412
00:21:18,868 --> 00:21:19,699
Let me in where?
413
00:21:23,189 --> 00:21:25,082
What the? Hey, what
the hell is this place?!
414
00:21:25,516 --> 00:21:26,413
Hello, and welcome.
415
00:21:26,448 --> 00:21:27,613
We're glad you made it, brother.
416
00:21:27,648 --> 00:21:28,652
Ey, who the hell are you?
417
00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:33,927
We're just about to do a play, about how much stealing hurts you deep inside. Come join us.
418
00:21:33,962 --> 00:21:34,902
Yes. Come on. Let's go.
419
00:21:34,937 --> 00:21:35,588
You're here forever.
420
00:21:35,623 --> 00:21:38,760
Nooo! Nu- nooooooooooo!