1 00:00:07,864 --> 00:00:12,894 I'm goin' down to South Park gonna have myself a time friendly faces everywhere 2 00:00:12,895 --> 00:00:16,194 humble folks without temptation I'm goin' down to South Park gonna 3 00:00:16,195 --> 00:00:19,578 leave my woes behind ample Parking day or night, 4 00:00:19,579 --> 00:00:21,275 people spouting, "howdy, neighbor" 5 00:00:21,276 --> 00:00:24,940 I'm headin' down to South Park gonna see if I can't unwind. 6 00:00:27,885 --> 00:00:31,356 So come on down to South Park, and meet some friends of mine. 7 00:00:36,839 --> 00:00:38,997 Fellas! Fellas!!!! 8 00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:39,552 What? 9 00:00:39,553 --> 00:00:41,142 You'll never guess what happened? 10 00:00:41,143 --> 00:00:43,653 Butters just beat up Scott Malkinson. 11 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,909 Butters? Why? 12 00:00:45,910 --> 00:00:48,260 It was crazy, Scott was just talking about how he needed to 13 00:00:48,261 --> 00:00:50,712 take his Insulin shot, and outta nowhere Butters said he's sick 14 00:00:50,713 --> 00:00:52,675 of people with diabetes feeling sorry for themselves. 15 00:00:52,676 --> 00:00:55,862 Scott told Butters to shut up, and Butters just starting whaling on him. 16 00:00:55,863 --> 00:00:57,231 You're talking about Butters. 17 00:00:57,232 --> 00:00:59,733 Dude, I'm telling you Butters beat the crap out Scott and then 18 00:00:59,734 --> 00:01:01,330 he locked himself in the bathroom. 19 00:01:04,449 --> 00:01:05,654 Butters? 20 00:01:05,842 --> 00:01:07,163 Leave me alone! 21 00:01:07,983 --> 00:01:09,177 Butters come out here. 22 00:01:09,178 --> 00:01:11,261 Get outta here all of you! 23 00:01:11,818 --> 00:01:15,357 Butters, people can't just go around beating up people who have diabetes. 24 00:01:15,358 --> 00:01:17,769 Now, whatever your problem is you just... you just think you know 25 00:01:17,770 --> 00:01:19,099 everything, don't you Kyle! 26 00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:21,384 Every little thing you gotta shoot your mouth off like you're 27 00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,485 the expert! Well you don't know everything because... 28 00:01:23,486 --> 00:01:25,692 your best friend is a kid who thinks the entire planet 29 00:01:25,693 --> 00:01:28,638 revolves around him and he only cares about his image! 30 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:32,873 You guys think Cartman is the only selfish piece of crap at this school? 31 00:01:32,874 --> 00:01:35,813 You are all fake and stuck up and none of you have the courage 32 00:01:35,814 --> 00:01:37,638 to tell Jimmy that his jokes aren't funny. 33 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,889 The only kid here with any sense of dignity is Kenny, and the 34 00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:42,604 rest of you have your heads up your! 35 00:01:46,275 --> 00:01:49,084 Well, apparently Kenny is Butters' best friend. 36 00:01:49,085 --> 00:01:50,753 You guys gonna make out, Kenny? 37 00:01:51,492 --> 00:01:52,495 And that's another thing! 38 00:01:52,496 --> 00:01:55,248 You're always trivializing everything I say by gettin' the last word! 39 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,692 Well you're not gettin' the last word this time! 40 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,291 Double wow! 41 00:02:06,571 --> 00:02:09,542 I'm sorry, but your son is distracting the other students 42 00:02:09,543 --> 00:02:11,401 and his attitude is just getting worse. 43 00:02:11,402 --> 00:02:14,101 Butters, what on earth has gotten into you? 44 00:02:14,102 --> 00:02:17,283 I don't know dad, I was just piss off I guess. 45 00:02:17,284 --> 00:02:20,516 Do you think this behavior is fair to your teacher and classmates? 46 00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:23,601 I don't suppose it is, but I don't give a darn! 47 00:02:24,256 --> 00:02:27,493 Do you have any idea how grounded you are about to be, mister? 48 00:02:27,494 --> 00:02:31,552 Why don't you shut up dad and stick it in yer ear for crying out loud!!!! 49 00:02:34,057 --> 00:02:35,783 Stephen... are you thinking what I'm thinking. 50 00:02:35,784 --> 00:02:38,690 Yes. Our little Butters is flowering. 51 00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:40,854 He has reached the age of Panua. 52 00:02:40,855 --> 00:02:42,194 Excuse me? 53 00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:44,764 Principal Victoria... this isn't Butter's fault. 54 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:45,933 It's not? 55 00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:48,386 It has to do with biology. 56 00:02:49,819 --> 00:02:54,741 You've maybe noticed that Butters isn't... Exactly like other kids. 57 00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:55,642 Yeah. 58 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:59,158 You probably think Butters seems somehow different. 59 00:02:59,159 --> 00:03:00,853 Hey yeah, all the time! 60 00:03:00,854 --> 00:03:02,731 It's because he is. 61 00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:07,892 His mother and I... our whole family... we're not of this place. 62 00:03:08,824 --> 00:03:11,003 I'm sorry I really don't understand. 63 00:03:11,004 --> 00:03:15,172 Please, just try to understand that for our people it is a very private matter. 64 00:03:15,173 --> 00:03:19,385 He can't be helped by your discipline, this must be dealt with by his own kind. 65 00:03:19,386 --> 00:03:22,876 If it's alright with you, we'd like an extended leave for our boy. 66 00:03:22,918 --> 00:03:25,415 Please, it's a cultural thing. 67 00:03:28,070 --> 00:03:30,186 I don't want him to go, Stephen! He's too young! 68 00:03:30,187 --> 00:03:31,836 It's our people's way, Linda! 69 00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:33,109 You know that better then I do! 70 00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:34,591 Then we can go with him! 71 00:03:34,592 --> 00:03:36,020 You know that's not allowed! 72 00:03:36,021 --> 00:03:39,101 Will somebody tell me what the friggy fookshmeres going on?! 73 00:03:39,102 --> 00:03:41,407 Butters, you've reached the age where you must journey to 74 00:03:41,408 --> 00:03:44,519 your birthplace for the ceremony of hapa noa. 75 00:03:45,353 --> 00:03:47,101 But I'm from here! 76 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:50,793 No, we moved here just before you started preschool. You were 77 00:03:50,794 --> 00:03:53,318 born in our native land, Butters. 78 00:03:53,319 --> 00:03:58,719 A distant and very secluded island world... Called 'hava-ii'. 79 00:04:00,587 --> 00:04:02,059 We're from Hawaii? 80 00:04:02,445 --> 00:04:05,691 Only haoles pronounce it 'Hawaii', Butters. But those of 81 00:04:05,692 --> 00:04:08,280 us from Havaii are a very special people. 82 00:04:08,340 --> 00:04:11,737 We have many customs and traditions to keep our culture alive. 83 00:04:11,738 --> 00:04:13,878 We drink drink chichis from the coconut. 84 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,467 We eat poke that the safeway provides. 85 00:04:16,468 --> 00:04:20,232 And when we've chosen a mate, we marry at the fern grotto-as 86 00:04:20,233 --> 00:04:23,252 your mother and I did so... Very long ago. 87 00:04:23,253 --> 00:04:26,182 As a stotch, Butters, you are actually Hawaiian royalty, your 88 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:29,051 grandma and grandpa were there in the time of the king. 89 00:04:29,516 --> 00:04:31,688 But what does being Hawaiian have to do with me acting like 90 00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:33,229 an emo chick on her period? 91 00:04:33,230 --> 00:04:36,385 Not an emo chick on her period, Butters, like a salmon 92 00:04:36,386 --> 00:04:38,208 needing to swim back up river. 93 00:04:38,209 --> 00:04:42,362 All Hawaiians feel it. It is called 'hapa hua opae loa', and 94 00:04:42,363 --> 00:04:46,069 it means now it is your time to make your trip to our island home. 95 00:04:46,070 --> 00:04:48,761 You must do your walkabout to your homeland, Butters... and 96 00:04:48,762 --> 00:04:50,351 you must do it alone. 97 00:04:52,383 --> 00:04:53,463 Take this, son. 98 00:04:53,464 --> 00:04:55,540 It is our Mahalo rewards card. 99 00:04:55,541 --> 00:04:57,629 It will provide you with all you need. 100 00:04:57,936 --> 00:05:00,131 And now I must turn my back on you. 101 00:05:06,486 --> 00:05:08,462 Holy shit balls, holy shit balls. 102 00:05:08,463 --> 00:05:10,314 Guess what you guys, holy shit balls. 103 00:05:10,315 --> 00:05:11,099 What? 104 00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:14,757 Butters just got on a bus with his bags packed and said he's going to Hawaii. 105 00:05:14,758 --> 00:05:15,545 Hawaii? 106 00:05:15,546 --> 00:05:17,900 He said he had to go back to his homeland and then told me it 107 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,288 was none of my business and to keep my fat mouth shut. 108 00:05:20,289 --> 00:05:22,608 Dude what the? Somebody's gotta stop him! 109 00:05:22,619 --> 00:05:24,487 After all he said to us, he can go ahead. 110 00:05:24,488 --> 00:05:26,784 Kenny, you're clearly his best friend, go stop him. 111 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:27,966 I'm not his best friend. 112 00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:30,757 Yeah mister perfect, go rescue Butters so he can lick your balls some more. 113 00:05:48,413 --> 00:05:49,281 Butters, come on. 114 00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,048 They won't let me on the plane. 115 00:05:51,049 --> 00:05:52,846 I can't do anything right. 116 00:05:55,387 --> 00:05:58,958 No, no! I have to go to Hawaii Kenny! I have no idea 117 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:01,876 what's waiting there for me but I can't go on like this! 118 00:06:06,446 --> 00:06:08,308 Excuse me, he needs to get to Hawaii. 119 00:06:08,309 --> 00:06:11,527 I already told him. I can't allow anyone on the aircraft who 120 00:06:11,528 --> 00:06:12,752 appears to be intoxicated. 121 00:06:12,753 --> 00:06:16,316 I'm not intoxicated. I'm just deligerent cuz it's my hapa noa huy loa! 122 00:06:16,317 --> 00:06:17,919 Please can you just let him on the plane. 123 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,329 It's really important. 124 00:06:19,330 --> 00:06:20,593 Please? 125 00:06:20,612 --> 00:06:23,632 Tell you what - there's plenty of points on his Mahalo rewards card. 126 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,376 If you want to fly with him I can let him go. 127 00:06:25,377 --> 00:06:26,019 Me? 128 00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:27,629 Can't you see I'm in horrible pain. 129 00:06:27,630 --> 00:06:28,520 *** 130 00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:30,619 okay! Okay I'll go. 131 00:06:41,265 --> 00:06:45,037 Well, we're here. Now what do I do? 132 00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:49,359 Can I help you wid anything? 133 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:52,359 Uh yeah, I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go. 134 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,009 Ok, well are you on a cruise ship or a land tour group? 135 00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:56,323 Oh I'm not a tourist. 136 00:06:56,324 --> 00:06:57,849 I'm a native Hawaiian. 137 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:00,943 Butters stotch? 138 00:07:00,944 --> 00:07:01,614 Yeah. 139 00:07:01,615 --> 00:07:03,173 Welcome home young Keiki. 140 00:07:03,174 --> 00:07:05,738 Your parents said you would be coming for your ceremony. 141 00:07:05,829 --> 00:07:07,454 Uhh who's this? 142 00:07:07,455 --> 00:07:09,341 Oh this is my friend, Kenny. 143 00:07:09,515 --> 00:07:11,959 Butters, native Hawaiians don't really approve of haoles 144 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,489 coming to their ceremonies. 145 00:07:13,490 --> 00:07:16,204 Oh please, if it weren't for him I couldn't have come. 146 00:07:16,439 --> 00:07:19,688 Very well we shall speak with the chief of our island and see. 147 00:07:19,812 --> 00:07:21,120 Come now. 148 00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:29,211 You folks are all native Hawaiians too? 149 00:07:29,212 --> 00:07:31,883 Yes. My wife Patty and I have been coming to Kauai for 150 00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:36,073 almost five years, and Bill and Donna actually own a timeshare in poipu. 151 00:07:36,074 --> 00:07:39,815 Yes, but poipu is getting pretty overrun with tourists, I'm afraid. 152 00:07:40,154 --> 00:07:41,166 Let us eat. 153 00:07:41,167 --> 00:07:42,626 Ah yes, let us eat. 154 00:07:44,215 --> 00:07:47,714 Aloha. Five orders of saimin, please what's samimin? 155 00:07:47,715 --> 00:07:49,544 It is one of the foods of our people. 156 00:07:49,545 --> 00:07:50,806 Oh I get twenty percent off. 157 00:07:50,807 --> 00:07:53,320 I'm a native. Here's my Mahalo rewards card. 158 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,644 Mahalo! 159 00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:03,938 Come on ya tourists! Buy a postcard.. 160 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,292 These are the ancient ruins of our ancestors. 161 00:08:07,293 --> 00:08:09,779 They say the spirit of the king is still in there. 162 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:12,517 You must stay away this place, it is kapu. 163 00:08:12,518 --> 00:08:16,000 That means taboo especially the haoles. 164 00:08:17,308 --> 00:08:22,229 That there is bubbuh's burgers, us natives used to always eat there. 165 00:08:22,425 --> 00:08:26,274 Here's the Sheraton. Just another megahotel for the throngs of tourists. 166 00:08:26,825 --> 00:08:28,929 Here's where many of us natives live. 167 00:08:29,564 --> 00:08:31,459 *** 168 00:08:31,783 --> 00:08:33,549 it's alright, we're natives. 169 00:08:35,060 --> 00:08:39,031 Protector and chief, I present to you the keiki Butters stotch. 170 00:08:39,032 --> 00:08:40,765 Ahhh, Steven and Linda's child. 171 00:08:40,766 --> 00:08:43,754 Last time I saw you, you were the size of a coconut. 172 00:08:43,755 --> 00:08:45,082 Who's the haole? 173 00:08:49,941 --> 00:08:53,417 My dearest friends. I am living amongst the natives in 174 00:08:53,418 --> 00:08:56,541 the remote and tiny island of Kauai. 175 00:08:56,652 --> 00:09:00,383 What can I tell you of this mysterious island and its people? 176 00:09:00,917 --> 00:09:04,431 It is a place of wonder and yet to the outsider like me, a 177 00:09:04,432 --> 00:09:06,376 place of odd tradition. 178 00:09:06,377 --> 00:09:09,061 The people here are peaceful and joyous and seem to care 179 00:09:09,062 --> 00:09:12,083 little for the rush and worry of the outside world. 180 00:09:12,091 --> 00:09:15,194 Their diet is mostly an odd mixture of coconut milk, 181 00:09:15,195 --> 00:09:18,921 pineapple juice and vodka which they call 'the chi chi'. 182 00:09:18,922 --> 00:09:21,690 As for Butters, he is quickly learning the ways of his 183 00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:25,483 ancestors, and seems to be feeling better with every passing day. 184 00:09:25,485 --> 00:09:29,628 He still seems quite angry at times, but luckily, his ceremony 185 00:09:29,629 --> 00:09:32,060 will finally take place on the morrow. 186 00:09:32,451 --> 00:09:34,815 On the morrow? What is wrong with Kenny? 187 00:09:35,072 --> 00:09:38,066 To wit I have found nothing wrong with this remote place, 188 00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:40,681 and I must admit it will be with some melancholy that I will 189 00:09:40,682 --> 00:09:42,796 leave this island and return home. 190 00:09:43,865 --> 00:09:47,173 I saw this chick in a bikini on the beach, too. 191 00:09:47,242 --> 00:09:49,623 She had the nicest boobs ever. 192 00:09:49,624 --> 00:09:51,730 Humbly yours, Kenneth. 193 00:09:57,903 --> 00:10:02,696 In the time honored traditioions of our ancestors, e honor the native Hawaiian. 194 00:10:02,697 --> 00:10:05,024 Butters stotch with his hapa noa. 195 00:10:06,769 --> 00:10:10,139 The shark's tooth necklace represents your connection to our island. 196 00:10:12,818 --> 00:10:14,218 Now drink the chi chi. 197 00:10:17,247 --> 00:10:18,403 Ooh it's like gasoline! 198 00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:23,204 Drink, young Keiki, and you will feel the last of your aggression melt away. 199 00:10:25,882 --> 00:10:27,191 Hey I do feel Butter... 200 00:10:27,529 --> 00:10:28,248 better. 201 00:10:28,309 --> 00:10:30,079 Oh spirits of ancestors. 202 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:33,603 We ask that you bless this native Hawaiian with his hapa noa! 203 00:10:33,748 --> 00:10:38,997 We ask that you... listen. Listen everyone. I have terrible, horrible news! 204 00:10:39,530 --> 00:10:41,918 Do you realize that you are interrupting a hapa noa?! 205 00:10:41,982 --> 00:10:43,428 I've just come from the front office. 206 00:10:44,003 --> 00:10:46,349 The Mahalo rewards card is... 207 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,667 what? What has happened?! Speak! 208 00:10:49,977 --> 00:10:52,597 The Mahalo rewards card is being eliminated. 209 00:10:52,759 --> 00:10:55,310 They are trying to say our points are... 210 00:10:55,577 --> 00:10:57,951 Are no longer going to be accepted. 211 00:11:03,041 --> 00:11:04,901 I knew one day it would come to this. 212 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,852 To what? What does this mean? 213 00:11:07,752 --> 00:11:09,783 The haloes are trying to do away with us. 214 00:11:10,541 --> 00:11:12,046 With no rewards program... 215 00:11:12,348 --> 00:11:15,560 They'll be no distinction between who's a native to this island and who isn't! 216 00:11:15,763 --> 00:11:17,737 Why can't your people respect our island? 217 00:11:18,047 --> 00:11:19,266 Why do you always want more? 218 00:11:20,287 --> 00:11:22,692 I'm sorry Keiki your hapa noa will have to wait! 219 00:11:22,936 --> 00:11:25,283 For we must unite together as never before! 220 00:11:25,949 --> 00:11:30,272 It is time to show the haoles that this is our island! 221 00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:40,099 Stop ruining our island, haoles! Fire! 222 00:11:45,827 --> 00:11:47,294 What are they doing? 223 00:11:50,156 --> 00:11:52,950 Take a swing, let them know they are not welcome. 224 00:11:53,742 --> 00:11:55,032 I've never done this before. 225 00:11:55,091 --> 00:11:58,712 It's alright, just try to tap into that anger that's inside you. 226 00:11:58,988 --> 00:12:00,769 My anger... my anger! 227 00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:03,169 Stupid... Ben Affleck! 228 00:12:20,885 --> 00:12:23,459 Hold on!!! Hold on!!! 229 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,939 I can't I can't I can't I can't! 230 00:12:27,087 --> 00:12:30,307 I love you I love you!!! 231 00:12:30,557 --> 00:12:33,926 I love you too ahghghgh!!!!!! 232 00:12:37,431 --> 00:12:38,984 This is Breaking News! 233 00:12:39,527 --> 00:12:43,859 An insurrection in the Hawaiian islands has escalated to war. 234 00:12:44,073 --> 00:12:49,338 After sinking a cruise ship the natives of Kauai continue to go berserk forcing 235 00:12:49,339 --> 00:12:51,187 all tourists off their island. 236 00:12:51,508 --> 00:12:54,503 They just pushed us onto airplanes and said we weren't welcome anymore. 237 00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,687 Then a little boy called me a skank. 238 00:12:57,003 --> 00:13:00,566 The president says he will send the coast guard to take the island back, 239 00:13:00,745 --> 00:13:03,880 though he sympathizes being a native Hawaiian himself. Hmmm... 240 00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:07,841 Are all the tourists gone from our island? 241 00:13:08,069 --> 00:13:10,398 All but a few who are hiding out at Duke's restaurant. 242 00:13:10,474 --> 00:13:12,726 We've sent Bob and Trishia Turner to smoke them out. 243 00:13:13,005 --> 00:13:14,079 What about him? 244 00:13:14,446 --> 00:13:15,413 What about me? 245 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,628 He's a tourist and he knows everything we have to kill him. 246 00:13:18,770 --> 00:13:20,447 No! Kenny's my friend! 247 00:13:20,821 --> 00:13:23,416 He's the only kid at school I actually like you bunch a jerks! 248 00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:26,222 Be careful young Keiki, your anger stills controls you 249 00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:28,357 because we were not able to finish your ceremony... 250 00:13:28,748 --> 00:13:30,026 perhaps we should finish it now. 251 00:13:30,318 --> 00:13:33,160 Finish his ceremony?! We are at war David! 252 00:13:33,633 --> 00:13:37,519 I have lived on this island for ten years. Ten years. 253 00:13:37,727 --> 00:13:39,291 Every July and part of August. 254 00:13:39,783 --> 00:13:42,193 And I can tell you all that what we are about to face from 255 00:13:42,194 --> 00:13:44,469 the haoles is nothing short of genocide. 256 00:13:44,685 --> 00:13:48,087 He's right, David. We can't trust any tourists. 257 00:13:48,251 --> 00:13:50,002 He won't betray us, will you Kenny? 258 00:13:50,075 --> 00:13:51,776 No I won't betray anybody. 259 00:13:51,777 --> 00:13:53,122 Then let him prove himself. 260 00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:55,268 Trial by *** 261 00:13:55,387 --> 00:13:56,723 He's only a child. 262 00:13:57,402 --> 00:13:58,894 If he wants to be one of us... 263 00:13:59,449 --> 00:14:00,938 Then he must face the challenge. 264 00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:02,372 Very well. 265 00:14:06,269 --> 00:14:07,206 This isn't right. 266 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,436 He's not a native he's going to get killed! 267 00:14:09,754 --> 00:14:11,134 Kenny be careful! 268 00:14:11,264 --> 00:14:13,928 Quiet. He must face this challenge alone. 269 00:14:21,253 --> 00:14:24,490 By the gods, perhaps he does have the heart of a native after all. 270 00:14:24,556 --> 00:14:26,712 He still has yet to make the turn... 271 00:14:31,779 --> 00:14:33,092 That's pretty good. 272 00:14:36,514 --> 00:14:37,362 Kenny!!! 273 00:14:40,355 --> 00:14:42,278 I told you a haole couldn't do it! 274 00:14:42,607 --> 00:14:44,857 Did you make the turn your first try? 275 00:14:45,790 --> 00:14:46,892 Did any of us? 276 00:14:50,177 --> 00:14:53,355 Don't worry Butters, your friend will find his way back to his kind. 277 00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:55,068 The gods will protect him. 278 00:15:10,797 --> 00:15:14,161 We have called for this great meeting, because if we are to survive this war, 279 00:15:14,559 --> 00:15:17,554 all the native Hawaiian tribes must join as one. 280 00:15:17,771 --> 00:15:21,362 We are not joining with people of the Hyatt grand vacations. 281 00:15:21,479 --> 00:15:23,899 They have no right to call themselves natives. 282 00:15:24,195 --> 00:15:25,113 And and you do?! 283 00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:27,936 Your ancestors came on an airplane six months ago! 284 00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:30,082 Our ancestors sailed here. 285 00:15:30,344 --> 00:15:32,792 On a cruise ship. Nine months ago. 286 00:15:32,879 --> 00:15:36,813 Look if we are to fight the haoles we have to allow all natives to stay. 287 00:15:36,881 --> 00:15:40,184 It doesn't matter how many tribes we have-we can't win. 288 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:43,280 We are but few against the haoles' military might. 289 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:46,171 We may have passion but passion does not win wars! 290 00:15:46,370 --> 00:15:49,002 Oh no? Come up here Keiki, come on... 291 00:15:49,747 --> 00:15:52,920 this child sunk a cruise ship by himself. 292 00:15:53,342 --> 00:15:54,250 Tell them Keiki. 293 00:15:54,672 --> 00:15:56,120 I don't know about the rest of ya 294 00:15:56,140 --> 00:15:58,969 but I'm sick and tired of being pushed around all the time! 295 00:15:59,297 --> 00:16:02,994 I came all the way down here for my hapa noa ceremony and I can't even have it, 296 00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:05,068 cuz the haoles have to ruin everything. 297 00:16:05,788 --> 00:16:07,463 Yeah! Screw them! 298 00:16:07,738 --> 00:16:10,724 If you ask me the only good haole's a dead haole! With a... 299 00:16:10,884 --> 00:16:14,771 with a - stick... up his and a, and his cut off! 300 00:16:16,904 --> 00:16:18,944 Let us make a pact with more chi chis! 301 00:16:22,709 --> 00:16:26,228 Um. We're, we're out of chichis. 302 00:16:26,837 --> 00:16:28,967 Oh right, we've closed off all the ports. 303 00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:31,157 But they're still letting vodka through, right? 304 00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:33,168 They can't cut off our chichis... 305 00:16:33,955 --> 00:16:34,996 Oh my God. 306 00:17:06,699 --> 00:17:09,248 This is the U.S. coast guard. 307 00:17:09,768 --> 00:17:13,831 We have instructions to take you by force if necessary. 308 00:17:16,245 --> 00:17:18,270 Ready! Fire! 309 00:17:26,273 --> 00:17:27,107 Fire 310 00:17:31,225 --> 00:17:32,705 launch the bocce balls! 311 00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,213 Dang it... 312 00:17:40,077 --> 00:17:42,434 Keep fighting!! Stand your ground!!!! 313 00:17:42,858 --> 00:17:44,954 We can't fight without chichis! 314 00:17:45,248 --> 00:17:46,558 You can and you must!!! 315 00:17:47,181 --> 00:17:49,473 Stupid! Greedy! Haoles! 316 00:17:49,924 --> 00:17:52,318 Kill! Them! All!!!! 317 00:18:43,535 --> 00:18:44,510 Listen everyone. 318 00:18:45,377 --> 00:18:46,556 We gave it all we had... 319 00:18:47,181 --> 00:18:48,008 It's over. 320 00:18:49,059 --> 00:18:51,294 We must go down to nawiliwili harbor 321 00:18:51,786 --> 00:18:53,766 and surrender to the American government. 322 00:18:54,993 --> 00:18:57,061 Surrender? No! To heck with that!!! 323 00:18:57,199 --> 00:18:58,914 We can't hold out here any longer. 324 00:18:58,945 --> 00:19:00,500 Well I won't do it you hear me?!?! 325 00:19:00,703 --> 00:19:03,073 I'm not licking anybody's -... 326 00:19:03,938 --> 00:19:08,196 Young Keiki... try to control your anger-no! This is our home! 327 00:19:08,502 --> 00:19:11,120 And I'm sick of everyone who thinks they're better than me just cuz 328 00:19:11,121 --> 00:19:12,347 they got good looks and just cuz, 329 00:19:12,348 --> 00:19:14,777 even after massacring daredevil they happen to come back 330 00:19:14,831 --> 00:19:16,613 and hit a home run that everyone loves!!!! 331 00:19:17,042 --> 00:19:18,495 You shouldn't be able to be good looking, 332 00:19:18,496 --> 00:19:20,919 and be with Jennifer Lopez and be a good director. 333 00:19:21,962 --> 00:19:25,412 Alright, alright fine, Argo is a good movie. 334 00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:27,819 There I admitted it! I told people it didn't hold up. 335 00:19:27,820 --> 00:19:30,341 But it holds up God darn it! Ben Affleck has everything. 336 00:19:31,548 --> 00:19:33,312 Everyone! Look I say! 337 00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:44,989 The haole did it! 338 00:19:50,909 --> 00:19:53,039 My dear friends of the mainland. 339 00:19:53,356 --> 00:19:57,304 What adventures I have found on the tiny island of Kauai. 340 00:19:57,659 --> 00:20:00,173 I have truly become one with the natives, 341 00:20:00,424 --> 00:20:03,439 who found new courage to fight their oppressors. 342 00:20:03,512 --> 00:20:05,836 We are not surrendering today! 343 00:20:06,102 --> 00:20:09,806 Go back and tell your leaders that we will fight them until the end! 344 00:20:13,298 --> 00:20:15,315 You people just don't give up do you? 345 00:20:15,478 --> 00:20:17,105 The American goverment finally 346 00:20:17,106 --> 00:20:21,961 gave in to the natives, and had the Mahalo rewards cards reinstated. 347 00:20:22,027 --> 00:20:25,938 Our two cultures, it appears, will once again live in peace. 348 00:20:30,943 --> 00:20:35,689 With the war at an end, our Butters is able to have his hapa noa ceremony 349 00:20:36,323 --> 00:20:37,946 and with any help from the gods, 350 00:20:38,415 --> 00:20:40,651 become his old cheery self again. 351 00:20:41,035 --> 00:20:45,715 And so it is with great honor that we recognize these two natives 352 00:20:45,716 --> 00:20:47,144 with their hapa loa. 353 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:48,814 Take your cards, boys. 354 00:20:49,451 --> 00:20:51,116 A puy loa hapa loa!!! 355 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:52,795 Apa a a hoo ha! 356 00:20:56,950 --> 00:20:58,715 It's finally over young Keiki. 357 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,139 Is your anger at rest? 358 00:21:01,283 --> 00:21:02,680 Yeah I guess so... 359 00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:05,939 Except it still doesn't change the fact that Ben Affleck gets to be handsome, 360 00:21:05,994 --> 00:21:08,648 talented and then gets to go home and kiss Jennifer Lopez. 361 00:21:09,026 --> 00:21:12,904 Ben Affleck isn't with Jennifer Lopez anymore, he's married to Jennifer Garner. 362 00:21:13,311 --> 00:21:14,649 Yeah/yup/that's right... 363 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,499 What?! Really? 364 00:21:18,521 --> 00:21:20,344 But I thought I was totally jealous of him! 365 00:21:21,047 --> 00:21:25,942 He's just married to Jennifer Garner? Oh my gosh... I feel so much better! 366 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:26,815 You do? 367 00:21:26,816 --> 00:21:29,425 Yeah! Oh... I like that Ben Affleck guy. 368 00:21:29,426 --> 00:21:30,792 He's a good filmmaker. 369 00:21:30,902 --> 00:21:33,667 Come on Kenny, I guess I owe the kids at school an apology. 370 00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:35,340 Did you see Argo, Kenny? 371 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:36,612 It's a pretty good movie. 372 00:21:36,772 --> 00:21:38,387 Ben Affleck has a lot going for him. 373 00:21:40,112 --> 00:21:43,112 == sync by YYets corrected by Martzy == www.Addic7ed.Com