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South
Park Season13 Episode06
4
00:00:32,650 --> 00:00:34,840
All right. That's 2. 8 centimeters.
5
00:00:35,130 --> 00:00:38,210
Should give us a drag
of only. 6 milliseconds.
6
00:00:38,220 --> 00:00:40,430
Hold the front here,stan.
7
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:43,510
Hey,guys,it's almost 2:00 a.m.
8
00:00:43,530 --> 00:00:44,430
We know.
9
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,120
Well,it's way past time for bed.
10
00:00:46,150 --> 00:00:49,110
Sharon,stan's pinewood
derby race is tomorrow!
11
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:52,100
Do you have any idea how
important this is to him?
12
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:56,010
Stan is not gonna lose to
the goddamn hollises again!
13
00:00:56,030 --> 00:00:58,030
Well,it's just a block
of wood and some wheels.
14
00:00:58,080 --> 00:00:59,940
I don't think there's much
more you can do with it.
15
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,450
That's 'cuz you're a chick!
Now just leave us alone!
16
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:06,510
Don't worry,son. The hollises
are not beating us this year.
17
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:10,260
I went and got something to put inside
our car and make it go extra fast!
18
00:01:10,310 --> 00:01:13,730
Dad,we're not allowed to add anything to the car
that doesn't come in the approved kit,remember?
19
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,270
Stan,how do you think the
hollises beat us every year?
20
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:18,270
I'm sure they put lead
in the wood or something.
21
00:01:18,290 --> 00:01:20,550
We're just leveling the playing field.
22
00:01:21,130 --> 00:01:23,140
- There.
- What is it?
23
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,410
It's uh -- it's
nothing really.
24
00:01:25,860 --> 00:01:31,270
Tom,i'm standing outside the hadron particle
super collider in switzerland,where authorities
25
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:35,720
Are shocked and baffled over the theft
of a sup conducting bending magnet
26
00:01:35,730 --> 00:01:39,130
created for use in tests
with particle acceleration.
27
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:40,440
Oh,no. He didn't.
28
00:01:40,450 --> 00:01:43,860
The superconducting magnet
was stolen sometime last week.
29
00:01:43,890 --> 00:01:47,410
Surveillance cameras were able to
record the theft on tape and police
30
00:01:47,450 --> 00:01:51,810
Are now looking for princess
leia organa of alderaan.
31
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:56,350
Caught here in these photos,the troubled rebel
princess Is seen taking the superconducting magnet
32
00:01:56,360 --> 00:02:00,020
and then appearing disoperated
as she tries to find her way out.
33
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:02,870
If you have any information
of princess leia's whereabouts,
34
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,360
Please call your local
police department.
35
00:02:05,370 --> 00:02:09,210
All right,scouts and dads.******
36
00:02:09,220 --> 00:02:11,800
And it looks like our
next heat is ready to go.
37
00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:14,800
Three,two,one,race!
38
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,610
2.1 seconds for tommy bretz!
39
00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:21,780
Looks like we have a new leader,folks.
40
00:02:21,810 --> 00:02:23,840
All right!
41
00:02:23,850 --> 00:02:27,990
All right,stan. We're gonna need to check
in and have our car inspected to qualify.
42
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:33,010
Now,son,daddy needs to teach you
something very important about tells.
43
00:02:33,030 --> 00:02:34,040
Tells?
44
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,930
When you tell them you
only used the approved kit,
45
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:40,730
Don't look up and away,don't rub
your neck and don't touch your ear.
46
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,880
Otherwise,they'll know you're
lying to them. All right.
47
00:02:42,890 --> 00:02:47,050
When you need to lie just don't look up
and away,rub your neck or touch your ear.
48
00:02:47,070 --> 00:02:49,240
Dad,maybe we should just take out
the thing you put in the car --
49
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:52,350
Son,you have to learn how
to lie correctly some day.
50
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,060
Might as well be today. All right?
51
00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:57,110
I love you,son.
52
00:02:57,430 --> 00:03:00,350
Looks good. Thank you
and good luck today.
53
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,240
All right. Next,please.
54
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,460
Name?
55
00:03:03,470 --> 00:03:05,370
It's uh
-- marsh.
56
00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:11,430
All right. Car weighs in at 15 ounces.
57
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,940
Do you hereby swear that you used
parts in the official pinewood derby kit
58
00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:18,090
And only parts in the
official pinewood derby kit?
59
00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:20,610
Yes,i do. Yes,i do.
60
00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:22,180
Yes,i do.
61
00:03:22,220 --> 00:03:23,970
All right,young man. Good luck today.
62
00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:26,140
Oooh,yes!
63
00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:29,560
Well,well. Look,son,it's the marshes.
64
00:03:29,570 --> 00:03:31,970
Hey,hollis. You guys race already?
65
00:03:31,980 --> 00:03:34,530
No,little emmett hasn't gone yet.
66
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,950
Think they're saving the best for last.
67
00:03:36,970 --> 00:03:40,170
Clocked her in at home at 1.5 seconds.
68
00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:42,500
It's the fastest car we've ever built.
69
00:03:42,510 --> 00:03:44,150
1.5?
70
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:47,040
The time to beat is 1.9 seconds.
71
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:52,570
May we please have --
brewster,marsh,jarvis and hollis.
72
00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:59,960
Only fitting our boys should be going
head-to-head for their match,hey,marsh?
73
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,150
C'mon,stan. You can do this!
74
00:04:03,170 --> 00:04:05,040
All right,kids,are you ready?
75
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:11,220
Here we go. Last race for the state
championship in three,two,one,go!
76
00:04:14,470 --> 00:04:16,790
You got it,emmett!
77
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,980
oh,yeah! Oh,yeah!
78
00:04:34,990 --> 00:04:37,570
Suck on that,hollis!
79
00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:39,990
This is 9 news at 10:00.
80
00:04:40,010 --> 00:04:44,570
A colorado boy and his father have
set a new record at the pinewood derby.
81
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,730
Stan and randy marsh not
only broke a speed record,
82
00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:52,260
But actually appear to have bent time
and space and discovered warp speed.
83
00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:55,000
A parade was held for
the winners earlier today.
84
00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:58,560
And already offers for commercials and
endorsement deals for the father and son
85
00:04:58,570 --> 00:05:00,800
appear to be pouring in.
86
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,440
Dad,i just you to know I still love you.
87
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:13,630
He's okay. He's okay. He's
okay. He's okay.He's okay.
88
00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:48,360
- stan marsh?
- Yeah.
89
00:05:48,370 --> 00:05:50,940
I'm agent clark and this is agent marx.
90
00:05:50,980 --> 00:05:54,250
We'd like to talk to you
about your pinewood derby car.
91
00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:56,100
Aw,crap. Dad!
92
00:05:58,350 --> 00:06:02,130
Young man,what we're about to tell
you is a matter of national security.
93
00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:08,360
Yesterday,every government and embassy on
earth was contracted by an alien life force.
94
00:06:08,370 --> 00:06:09,190
Alien?
95
00:06:09,230 --> 00:06:14,430
Apparently the alien came across your pinewood
derby car and is now heading here to our planet.
96
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,430
What does it want?
97
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:19,630
We believe that they intend to welcome us
into the galactic federation of planets.
98
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:23,270
They will want to meet the people who
discovered warp speed for our species.
99
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,420
Stan,did you use all the
damn toilet paper again?
100
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,800
Oh,crap! What? What the you guys want?
101
00:06:27,810 --> 00:06:29,910
We said we only used
what was in the kit!
102
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,740
You got nothing on us.
103
00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:33,530
You got nothing on us!
104
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,660
Dad,they aren't here for that!
105
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:37,320
Hi,i'm randy marsh.
106
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,110
Mr. Marsh,we were just telling
your son that thanks to you,
107
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,840
We have made first
contact with alien life.
108
00:06:42,850 --> 00:06:44,200
What?
109
00:06:44,230 --> 00:06:45,840
Hey,hey,sharon!
110
00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:50,680
Nasa has confirmed that an alien ship has
entered our solar system and is headed here.
111
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,040
So guess what?
112
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:55,000
Our pinewood derby car
found alien life in space.
113
00:06:55,020 --> 00:06:56,490
What? Oh,my god.
114
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:59,850
Yeah. But I guess it's just a
dumb race like you said,huh,sharon.
115
00:07:11,420 --> 00:07:15,250
The world holds its breath as
an alien ship prepares to land.
116
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,460
Now that our planet
has achieved warp speed,
117
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:20,930
we are about to be welcomed
into the universal society.
118
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:24,300
All thanks to a father and
son who broke the warp barrier,
119
00:07:24,330 --> 00:07:28,180
Using only the parts in
this pinewood derby car kit.
120
00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:31,760
Mr. Marsh,you are on with
with all the world leaders.
121
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,470
Hello?
122
00:07:33,490 --> 00:07:35,180
Godspeed,mr. Marsh.
123
00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:37,070
The nation of france is with you!
124
00:07:37,110 --> 00:07:39,530
Good ruck wis arien,missa marsh!
125
00:07:39,570 --> 00:07:41,790
Prease say harro from a china!
126
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:46,130
Uh,okay. Stand by. I think
it's -- I think it's landing.
127
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,650
Our first encounter with
extraterrestrial life is about to happen.
128
00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:04,870
Will it be like in "star
trek: First contact"?
129
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:08,370
Or will it be more like
"contact" with jodie foster?
130
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:26,710
I seek the life forms that made this.
131
00:08:27,270 --> 00:08:29,650
That's ours,mr. Alien.
132
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,080
We are the marshes. Randy and stan.
133
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:33,920
Oh,yeah?
134
00:08:33,940 --> 00:08:36,970
You're gonna build me another one,see?
135
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,400
He's got a gun!
136
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,480
Everyone down on the ground!
137
00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:44,450
Get those hands up! Let me
see those hands! Do it now!
138
00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:46,890
I mean it! Show me those hands!
139
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,060
I'm baby fark mcgee-zax!
140
00:08:49,090 --> 00:08:52,240
The greatest gangster this
universe has ever seen,right?
141
00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:53,960
You can't threaten us!
142
00:08:55,380 --> 00:08:57,430
Who wants it next,huh?
143
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:01,140
Anyone else on this
planet want to be a hero?
144
00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:05,300
What do you want?
145
00:09:05,330 --> 00:09:06,620
I'm on the lamb!
146
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:10,710
I got the entire federation of planets after
me,but they ain't gonna catch me. You got that?
147
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:14,800
They might have busted my warp drive,but
you obviously know how to make 'em!
148
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:19,280
Screw this guy! He
can't take out all of us!
149
00:09:21,510 --> 00:09:24,950
I can kill any mug on
this two bit planet I want!
150
00:09:25,730 --> 00:09:27,030
Abunaiii!
151
00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:30,620
You build me a new warp drive
or you'll all gonna get it,see?
152
00:09:30,630 --> 00:09:32,910
Fine! He can build you what you want.
153
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,320
All he needs is the official
pinewood derby kit. Right,marsh?
154
00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:39,680
Uh,yeah. That's all we used,huh,stan?
155
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,060
Oh,boy.
156
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,190
Okay. Let's put the wheels on now,son.
157
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,490
What's taking so long? You're stalling!
158
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:53,500
C'mon,randy. Just build him the
warp drive and he'll leave us alone!
159
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,730
We're working on it.
160
00:09:56,050 --> 00:10:00,920
Dad,dad,you know we can't make the car go as fast
as before with only the approved pinewood derby kit.
161
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,530
Yeah,thanks,stan. I know that!
162
00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:04,970
Well,we have to tell him we
used something outside the kit!
163
00:10:04,990 --> 00:10:07,780
Do you have any idea how
stupid that will make us look?
164
00:10:07,810 --> 00:10:09,940
All right. That does it!
165
00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:12,910
Hello?
166
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:17,000
He just blew up our government
building! You've got to hurry!
167
00:10:17,010 --> 00:10:19,910
Mr. Marsh,why won't you
finish the pinewood derby car?
168
00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:22,470
Will you just give us a minute,gal!
169
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,820
C'mon,dad. We gotta come clean!
170
00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:33,610
zats! It's the intergalactic police!
171
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:35,170
What?
172
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:41,140
You better get rid of 'em or your
whole planet is gonna get it,see?
173
00:10:41,170 --> 00:10:43,280
You tell 'em you ain't
seen nothing. You got that?
174
00:10:43,290 --> 00:10:45,700
I ain't going to space jail!
175
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:58,300
Excuse us,earthlings,but we've been in
pursuit of a criminal from xenon galaxy.
176
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:02,180
Fella by the name of
baby fark mcgee-zax.
177
00:11:02,430 --> 00:11:05,620
Uh,no. We haven't seen anything.
178
00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:08,730
Wel,you think anyone else on
your planet might have seen him?
179
00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:12,900
Uh,actually,i happen to be on the phone
with all the world leaders. I can ask.
180
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:16,760
Uh,yeah,listen,these police aliens
are here and they're wondering
181
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,820
If anyone has seen an alien
named baby fark mcgee-zax.
182
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,360
No. No,we haven't seen aliens.
183
00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:26,290
We've seen nothing here in france.
184
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:28,530
Sorry. Nobody in the
world has seen anything.
185
00:11:28,540 --> 00:11:32,890
Uh,what did this
criminal alien do,exactly?
186
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:37,560
He toll over 600 parsons of space
cash from the universal bank.
187
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:40,830
You're absolutely sure you
didn't see an alien land here?
188
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:41,810
No,we're sure.
189
00:11:41,830 --> 00:11:45,710
So then we're the first
aliens you've ever seen?
190
00:11:45,730 --> 00:11:47,330
That's right. Up,you're the first ones.
191
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:51,890
You don't seem that excited about
your first contact with alien life.
192
00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:55,050
That's right! Oh,my god!
193
00:11:55,290 --> 00:11:58,100
Hey,everybody,we just
made first contact!
194
00:11:58,130 --> 00:12:01,890
If you do see any sign of the other
alien or the space cash,you'll --
195
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,290
We will give you a call!
196
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,850
Mathematical semitonal is fine.
197
00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:16,450
Something wrong,sir?
198
00:12:16,490 --> 00:12:17,980
I don't know,daverd.
199
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:21,500
Just something about that
planet didn't feel right.
200
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,480
All right,son. Now you just paint
that racing stripe like you did before.
201
00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:30,570
I don't need it painted. I
just need it functional,right?
202
00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:34,780
Hey,the right paint job is a big part of
what makes a pinewood derby car go fast.
203
00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:35,960
That's true.
204
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:40,170
I swear if you don't have that thing working
if three minutes this whole planet is done for!
205
00:12:40,670 --> 00:12:43,280
Dad,it's over. We have to
tell everyone we cheated.
206
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,840
No,i've got it all figured out,son.
207
00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:47,880
You have to kill the alien.
208
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,300
Kill the alien?
209
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:52,310
I've been filing down this
piece of metal into a shank.
210
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,030
I'm gonna call him over
here to look at the car.
211
00:12:54,050 --> 00:12:56,020
When I do,you shove that in his neck.
212
00:12:56,030 --> 00:12:57,590
No,dad! We don't even
know what will happen!
213
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,440
What are you whispering about,right?
214
00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:01,490
Uh,no. That's it. We're done!
215
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,910
- Here,come take a look.
- Dad!
216
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,300
Here,see?
217
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,840
Look real close at the axles here.
218
00:13:20,150 --> 00:13:23,010
Yeah! All right,you got him,son!
219
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,600
All right,men. Check the ship!
220
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,170
You see,stan? What did daddy tell you?
221
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,810
Everything worked out.
222
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,010
I guess so.
223
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:37,700
It just still doesn't feel right.
224
00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:39,310
But,stan,it's over now.
225
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:41,260
We'll never have to lie again.
226
00:13:41,270 --> 00:13:43,140
Hey,marsh,get in here!
227
00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:47,710
Can you believe it?
228
00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:51,770
Oh,my god. Space cash.
229
00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:54,400
Looks like those alien cops were right.
230
00:13:54,430 --> 00:13:56,010
Guess you should call them back now.
231
00:13:56,030 --> 00:13:57,670
Right.
232
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,520
Or what if we didn't call the cops?
233
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:04,390
I mean,this is a lot of space cash,guys.
234
00:14:04,430 --> 00:14:05,690
Think what we could do with it.
235
00:14:05,700 --> 00:14:06,980
- No,dad.
- He's right.
236
00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:09,290
We don't have to call the police back.
237
00:14:10,410 --> 00:14:12,650
All right. Let's get the
cash,put it into boxes --
238
00:14:14,610 --> 00:14:17,450
- Dad,what are you doing?
- Will you relax,stan?
239
00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:22,780
Don't sink that you get to keep
all ze space cash for yourselves.
240
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,980
Zat's right. This is all of our
planet,the space cash belongs to all of us!
241
00:14:26,990 --> 00:14:32,190
Either america shares that space cash with the
rest of the world or we will tell the space cops!
242
00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:35,210
All right,fine. Look,there's
plenty of space cash to go around.
243
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:39,090
Thanks to us,our planet is rich,son!
244
00:14:41,610 --> 00:14:44,780
4****
245
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,840
Oh,no. No,china. We
get to keep the ship.
246
00:14:49,850 --> 00:14:52,790
Because we killed the alien,you boner.
247
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:57,010
Oh,c'mon,england. You got just as much
of the space cash as everyone else!
248
00:15:00,530 --> 00:15:02,770
Oh,crap! It's the cops. Hang on.
249
00:15:10,550 --> 00:15:12,530
Oh,hey,space officers.
250
00:15:12,550 --> 00:15:15,730
Looks like the alien criminal
did land here after all.
251
00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:18,210
Oh,you were talking about that alien?
252
00:15:18,230 --> 00:15:20,510
Oh,yeah,that one,yeah.
He,he landed here.
253
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,540
But we,we killed him.
254
00:15:22,570 --> 00:15:25,820
And so did you find
the missing space cash?
255
00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:28,060
No. Space cash? No.
256
00:15:28,290 --> 00:15:30,480
There wasn't any space cash.
257
00:15:30,490 --> 00:15:33,720
Well,maybe someone else on
your planet knows where it is.
258
00:15:33,740 --> 00:15:37,090
Hey,any of you other
countries see any space cash?
259
00:15:37,540 --> 00:15:41,440
- No.
- No,no space cash.
260
00:15:41,450 --> 00:15:44,030
Yeah,doesn't look like the
space cash was ever here.
261
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:48,260
Guess he must have dropped
it off at some other planet.
262
00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:50,050
Probably!
263
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,570
Well,you folk all take care now.
264
00:15:54,010 --> 00:15:57,180
Just one more thing,earthlings.
265
00:15:57,220 --> 00:16:01,580
We had some images done of your planet and it
appears that one of your poorer countries --
266
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:07,970
Mexico -- has built 32 new hospitals and
seven water parks in the last four days.
267
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:15,660
Yeah,mexico,you know all us other countries
chipped in and gave mexico some aid.
268
00:16:15,710 --> 00:16:18,600
Yeah. They really
needed new water parks.
269
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:23,110
Have a good day.
270
00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:29,800
Hey,hey,mexico!
271
00:16:29,830 --> 00:16:32,610
We said no spending the space cash yet!
272
00:16:33,070 --> 00:16:34,370
What the hell are you doing?
273
00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:37,910
Will some country that speaks*******
274
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:46,220
Pack******
275
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:55,990
FATHER******
276
00:16:56,620 --> 00:17:00,640
WARP********
277
00:17:00,650 --> 00:17:04,640
DAD********
278
00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:08,990
DERBY********
279
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,130
CHINA********
280
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,290
no,japan! Will you listen
to eme for five seconds?
281
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:21,040
If you keep building giant robots,the
cops are gonna ask questions!
282
00:17:21,070 --> 00:17:24,300
Well,then why can england
build nuclear power plant?
283
00:17:24,330 --> 00:17:26,340
Nobody can build anything!
284
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:28,060
Yeah,well,it's not even gonna matter,
285
00:17:28,070 --> 00:17:31,410
because finland is thinking about
telling the space cops the truth.
286
00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:33,020
What? Finland!
287
00:17:33,030 --> 00:17:36,560
We believe the aliens are going to
find out sooner or later what we did.
288
00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:38,280
It's best we come clean now.
289
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,230
Will you just relax,finland?
290
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,110
Nobody's gonna find out anything.
291
00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:44,100
I'm sorry,but our nation is resolved.
292
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:46,070
We cannot live with the guilt anymore.
293
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:48,970
Okay,okay. You're right. You're
right,finland. Okay. You're right.
294
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:52,430
Can you just let us other countries
talk in private for a moment?
295
00:17:52,460 --> 00:17:54,080
Very well.
296
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:55,980
All right. You guys,we
gotta get rid of finland.
297
00:17:55,990 --> 00:17:58,840
Yup. We gotta take out
finland. They gonna squeal.
298
00:17:58,850 --> 00:18:00,790
Yup. I think we can all agree,guys.
299
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,950
- Yup.
- Yeah.
300
00:18:18,050 --> 00:18:19,880
Aw,dammit.
301
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:26,760
Uh,hey,space officers.
How can we help you?
302
00:18:26,770 --> 00:18:28,990
Well,we're a little puzzled.
303
00:18:29,010 --> 00:18:32,410
Over one of your
countries -- uh,finland?
304
00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:34,090
What? What about it?
305
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:37,530
It appears to have been destroyed.
306
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:40,360
What? Oh,my god! Not finland!
307
00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:42,850
Oh,no! No! Not finland!
308
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,850
Hey,guys,finland's dead.
309
00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:46,930
Oh,no!
310
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,230
No! Not finland!
311
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:50,830
All of finland gone!
312
00:18:50,870 --> 00:18:52,710
Yeah. Somebody better
break the news to norway.
313
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,990
They were really close.
314
00:18:55,330 --> 00:18:58,340
None of you knew anything
about the finland destruction?
315
00:18:58,350 --> 00:19:02,690
No. I mean,odds are they nuked
themselves. You know,suicide.
316
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:05,390
We didn't say anything about nukes.
317
00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:08,570
Or whatever they did,i'm saying.
318
00:19:09,130 --> 00:19:11,620
Excuse me! Excuse me!
319
00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:14,230
Everyone,i have an announcement to make.
320
00:19:14,260 --> 00:19:16,730
I am giving back my
pinewood derby trophy.
321
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,610
- What?
- Stan!
322
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:24,450
The truth is I don't deserve this trophy,because
I cheated on my pinewood derby car.
323
00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:26,700
I used something not
in the approved kit.
324
00:19:26,740 --> 00:19:28,830
- What?
- Outside the kit?
325
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,910
Not in the approved kit?
326
00:19:30,950 --> 00:19:33,190
He cheated on the pinewood derby?
327
00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:35,120
This trophy isn't mine.
328
00:19:35,150 --> 00:19:37,260
And so I have to give it back.
329
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:41,270
Because if i'm not honest now,then i'll
have to keep this lie going forever.
330
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,920
And it will just grow and grow.
331
00:19:48,030 --> 00:19:50,610
Well,stan,we're proud
of you for coming clean.
332
00:19:50,650 --> 00:19:53,610
But it doesn't change the fact that
you cheated. Go to your room,son.
333
00:19:53,890 --> 00:19:57,400
Your son seems to have some
pretty inspirational words.
334
00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:01,330
You sure you earthlings
have nothing else to tell us?
335
00:20:01,340 --> 00:20:05,720
Hey,uh,do we have anything
else to tell the space cops?
336
00:20:06,230 --> 00:20:07,560
Nope!
337
00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:09,590
- No!
- No changes.
338
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,240
- Tell 'em no.
- No changes.
339
00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:13,770
Yeah,no. We've told you
everything,space officers.
340
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:15,900
All right. That's it,then.
341
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:18,880
Come on out,sir. It appears to be over.
342
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:28,000
It's baby fark mcgee-zax!
343
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:31,530
My real name is kevirn xaxor.
344
00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:34,880
I am the ambassador
to new planet testing.
345
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:37,710
What the hell are they talking about?
346
00:20:37,740 --> 00:20:40,010
These are not space cops.
347
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,570
There is no space jail.
348
00:20:41,610 --> 00:20:46,340
And space cash is only worth what
you as a planet decided it was worth.
349
00:20:47,990 --> 00:20:51,200
I mean,how stupid is
your species? Space jail?
350
00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:53,710
Baby fark mcgee-zax?
351
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:55,680
It was just a trick?
352
00:20:55,730 --> 00:20:58,390
Whenever a civilization
discovers warp speed,
353
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,170
we want to bring them into
the federation of planets.
354
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:06,260
But first we do the space cash test to
esee if that species is worthy of joining.
355
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,930
Needless to say,you all failed.
356
00:21:10,940 --> 00:21:14,140
People of earth,since you
did not return the space cash,
357
00:21:14,180 --> 00:21:17,230
Your species and your planet
is hereby forever blocked off
358
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,610
and barred from the rest
of the universe. Goodbye.
359
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,850
No,no! Hey,wait! No!
360
00:21:36,370 --> 00:21:38,210
Well,that sucks.