1
00:00:08,207 --> 00:00:11,485
I'm going out to South Park
gonna have myself a time
2
00:00:11,543 --> 00:00:14,802
Friendly faces everywhere
humble folks without temptation
3
00:00:14,833 --> 00:00:18,145
I'm goin out to south park
gonna leave my woes behind
4
00:00:18,161 --> 00:00:21,492
Ample parking day or night
people spouting howdy neighbor
5
00:00:21,524 --> 00:00:24,683
I'm heading out to south park
to see if i cant unwind
6
00:00:24,714 --> 00:00:28,047
I like girls with big fat titties
really big fat titties
7
00:00:28,078 --> 00:00:31,282
So come on out to south park
and meet some friends of mine
8
00:00:32,576 --> 00:00:33,576
Episode 11x02
"Cartman Sucks"
9
00:00:33,816 --> 00:00:36,578
This picture I like to call "The Pierre."
10
00:00:36,627 --> 00:00:38,120
I invited Butters to stay the night.
11
00:00:38,123 --> 00:00:42,020
And while he was sleeping I made
a mustache on his face with cat poo.
12
00:00:42,061 --> 00:00:45,627
And this time, when Butters stayed
the night, I put a tampon in his mouth.
13
00:00:45,651 --> 00:00:48,702
I call this picture "The Sleeping Menstrual."
14
00:00:49,879 --> 00:00:52,422
This one, I call "Hot Fudge Mondae."
15
00:00:52,466 --> 00:00:54,673
I really like how the light plays with
the background on this one.
16
00:00:54,708 --> 00:00:58,170
Is this all you brought us here to see?
- Oh no, there's much more.
17
00:00:58,205 --> 00:01:01,533
Let's see. Oh yes, look at this one.
I call it "New Moon Rising."
18
00:01:01,567 --> 00:01:03,743
I did a whole study using my ass.
19
00:01:03,778 --> 00:01:06,332
Here it is using some high-contrast stuff.
20
00:01:06,368 --> 00:01:09,272
Trying out some different light filters here.
21
00:01:10,967 --> 00:01:13,290
But this is nothing compared
to what I have planned.
22
00:01:13,325 --> 00:01:16,403
Because tonight is going
to be my coup de grace.
23
00:01:16,435 --> 00:01:18,411
Butters is staying over tonight?
- Yes.
24
00:01:18,428 --> 00:01:21,252
And tonight, while Butters is asleep,
I am going to-
25
00:01:21,257 --> 00:01:23,082
Hey, fellas!
26
00:01:23,196 --> 00:01:25,921
Oh, oh hey, Butters!
I wasn't expecting you so soon.
27
00:01:25,955 --> 00:01:28,523
Yeah. I finished my chores
so I came over a little early.
28
00:01:28,538 --> 00:01:32,300
Hey! Are you guys all sleeping over too?
- No, no, these guys were just leaving.
29
00:01:32,337 --> 00:01:34,721
Weren't you guys?
30
00:01:34,766 --> 00:01:36,800
Come on, let's go.
31
00:01:37,896 --> 00:01:39,990
Wait, wait, I can't let this happen.
32
00:01:40,037 --> 00:01:42,392
Butters.
- Yeah, Kyle?
33
00:01:42,426 --> 00:01:46,191
Don't you think it's a little strange that
Cartman keeps asking you to stay over?
34
00:01:46,226 --> 00:01:47,063
Kyle!
35
00:01:47,077 --> 00:01:48,970
What do you mean?
- I mean, that if-
36
00:01:48,987 --> 00:01:52,442
What he means is that he's jealous that
you've taken his place as my new best friend!
37
00:01:52,476 --> 00:01:54,952
But grow up, Kyle!
Change is a part of life.
38
00:01:54,976 --> 00:01:57,460
Yeah, grow up, Kyle.
39
00:01:59,265 --> 00:02:02,790
So what do you wanna do first, Eric? You wanna
play a game or just chitchat for a while?
40
00:02:02,828 --> 00:02:05,163
Well actually, Butters, I think we'd
better hit the hay pretty soon.
41
00:02:05,188 --> 00:02:08,472
But, it's only 6:30.
- Yeah, and I'm exhausted.
42
00:02:08,508 --> 00:02:12,660
If you are not sleepy yet, I have some more
of that nighttime cold medicine you can drink.
43
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:18,343
You guys! I got it!
It seriously!
44
00:02:18,375 --> 00:02:20,911
It's the greatest picture ever!
Oh my God!
45
00:02:20,945 --> 00:02:23,701
What'cha do to Butters this time?
- It was genius!
46
00:02:23,746 --> 00:02:25,912
I waited till he was totally asleep, right?
47
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,941
And then I got my camera
and I pulled down his pants
48
00:02:28,978 --> 00:02:32,903
and then I took a picture
of his wiener in my mouth!
49
00:02:34,036 --> 00:02:35,930
Dude!
- I know, I know, check it out, look.
50
00:02:35,978 --> 00:02:40,620
I got his whole wiener in my mouth, see?
Oh man, I got him good!
51
00:02:40,736 --> 00:02:43,171
Dude, how is putting Butters wiener
in your mouth getting him?
52
00:02:43,207 --> 00:02:47,121
Because that makes Butters gay now!
- No dude, that makes you gay!
53
00:02:47,157 --> 00:02:48,291
Eh... what?
54
00:02:48,317 --> 00:02:52,093
You put a guy's wiener in your mouth,
that makes you gay, stupid!
55
00:02:52,608 --> 00:02:54,852
Nuh uh.
- Yeah huh!
56
00:02:54,998 --> 00:02:58,672
Kenny, that doesn't make me gay, huh?
- That makes you very fucking gay.
57
00:02:58,718 --> 00:03:01,470
But I'm not- I'm not gay, you guys!
- You are now.
58
00:03:01,497 --> 00:03:04,890
No, no, it was a stupid mistake!
- Doesn't matter. You're gay now.
59
00:03:04,925 --> 00:03:07,253
No, it was just for a second!
60
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:09,462
What, what can I do?
How how can I reverse this?
61
00:03:09,495 --> 00:03:10,943
You can't!
- No, wait.
62
00:03:10,947 --> 00:03:13,411
I know how you can reverse it, Cartman.
- How?
63
00:03:13,448 --> 00:03:18,870
The only way you can cancel it out is to get
Butters to put your wiener in his mouth.
64
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:23,190
Really?
- Yeah. Then it cancels out the gay polarity.
65
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,321
Shit, I gotta find Butters!
66
00:03:27,745 --> 00:03:29,063
Idiot.
67
00:03:34,867 --> 00:03:37,933
Butters.
- Hey, Eric.
68
00:03:38,047 --> 00:03:40,883
Butters, guess what?
I have a surprise for you.
69
00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:44,813
A surprise? What is it?
- It's so fucking awesome.
70
00:03:44,846 --> 00:03:47,760
You're gonna be soo stoked.
It's the best surprise ever!
71
00:03:47,798 --> 00:03:48,970
Oh boy!
72
00:03:49,006 --> 00:03:50,460
You ready?
- Yeah!
73
00:03:50,465 --> 00:03:53,651
Okay! Just open your mouth and close
your eyes and and get on your knees!
74
00:03:53,687 --> 00:03:55,093
Oh, okay!
75
00:03:55,126 --> 00:03:57,722
Hang on a second here.
- How come uh, I can't see?
76
00:03:57,758 --> 00:04:01,081
Cause then it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?
- Oh, yeah.
77
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:04,562
All right, that's good.
Okay, open your mouth, Butters?
78
00:04:04,837 --> 00:04:06,663
That's good, just like that.
- Hey!
79
00:04:06,697 --> 00:04:09,112
Hey wait a minute. This ain't a trick, is it?
80
00:04:09,138 --> 00:04:12,941
Why you're not gonna, stick something
icky in my mouth, are ya?
81
00:04:13,518 --> 00:04:15,530
I swear on my mother's life, Butters.
82
00:04:15,538 --> 00:04:17,910
I am not going to stick anything
icky in your mouth.
83
00:04:17,945 --> 00:04:19,171
Okay!
84
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:22,413
All right, you ready? All right just-
Okay, open. Okay, okay, here it comes.
85
00:04:22,448 --> 00:04:25,372
Just sit very still, okay?
Here we go.
86
00:04:25,407 --> 00:04:28,473
Butters!
- Hey Dad!
87
00:04:28,498 --> 00:04:32,300
Butters! What are you doing?!
- I'm getting a surprise!
88
00:04:32,316 --> 00:04:35,910
Oh my God! My, my only son, reduced to this!
89
00:04:35,948 --> 00:04:37,410
Hey. Where'd Eric go?
90
00:04:37,437 --> 00:04:40,023
Butters, how long have you been
doing stuff like this?
91
00:04:40,055 --> 00:04:42,361
Like what?
- Don't lie to me, Butters!
92
00:04:42,388 --> 00:04:43,830
I know your secret now!
93
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,761
No wait, wait. It's okay.
It's okay, Butters.
94
00:04:46,778 --> 00:04:50,432
This isn't a serious problem.
You're just bi-curious.
95
00:04:50,467 --> 00:04:53,743
What's bi-curious?
- You are.
96
00:04:53,778 --> 00:04:56,513
Just harmless curiosity
and it doesn't mean anything.
97
00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:58,341
We just need to get you some help, Butters.
98
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:02,383
What's going on, you two?
- Nothing mom, I'm just a little bi-curious.
99
00:05:04,516 --> 00:05:07,823
Father Maxi, I just don't
know where else to turn.
100
00:05:07,858 --> 00:05:11,710
You see, I've just learned
that my son is bi-curious.
101
00:05:11,747 --> 00:05:16,061
Is that true, son?
Are you feeling confused?
102
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:19,003
Yeah, I'm pretty confused alright.
- You see?
103
00:05:19,035 --> 00:05:22,053
Young man, these confused feelings
that you're having
104
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:25,823
are simply the devil's way of trying
to get a hold of you.
105
00:05:26,006 --> 00:05:28,091
Really?
- What can I do, Father?
106
00:05:28,126 --> 00:05:31,932
There is a special camp where young men
who are confused, like your son
107
00:05:31,938 --> 00:05:34,580
can go and be cleansed by the power of God.
108
00:05:34,628 --> 00:05:38,462
Many bi-curious boys come out
the camp completely cured.
109
00:05:38,497 --> 00:05:42,810
A secluded camp where lots of bicurious
boys are all put together?
110
00:05:42,846 --> 00:05:46,492
That sounds like a good idea.
- Whoa boy! Camp!
111
00:05:50,136 --> 00:05:53,620
Very funny! I suppose
you really think you got me!
112
00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:57,282
What are you talking about, fatass?
- I checked on the internet, Kyle.
113
00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:01,171
And getting Butters to put my wiener in his
mouth wouldn't make me not gay like you said!
114
00:06:01,215 --> 00:06:03,171
You figured that out, huh?
- That's right.
115
00:06:03,217 --> 00:06:07,043
And I also learned from the Internet that just
because I put Butters wiener in my mouth
116
00:06:07,046 --> 00:06:08,392
doesn't mean I'm gay!
117
00:06:08,398 --> 00:06:10,230
All I have to do is throw away the picture
118
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:13,323
forget it ever happened
and nobody will every know.
119
00:06:13,355 --> 00:06:16,252
Except for us.
- Right, except for you.
120
00:06:16,286 --> 00:06:18,602
And all the people we tell.
121
00:06:19,926 --> 00:06:23,780
Why would you tell anybody?
- Because it's really, really funny.
122
00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:26,950
It's not that funny. There's lots, there's
lots of things that are way funnier.
123
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,303
Like what?
- Like...
124
00:06:29,338 --> 00:06:34,800
a tampon in the school cafeteria,
in somebody's lunch.
125
00:06:36,807 --> 00:06:38,360
Like...
126
00:06:38,407 --> 00:06:41,990
a dog crap, on a guy's face!
127
00:06:42,025 --> 00:06:43,870
That isn't funny.
- Yes, it is!
128
00:06:43,896 --> 00:06:47,470
Now you guys, I'm getting pissed off!
You'd better not tell anybody!
129
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,091
Well, maybe we will, maybe we won't.
130
00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:52,760
Fine! Whatever! You guys don't have
any proof I put Butters wiener in my mouth!
131
00:06:52,796 --> 00:06:54,610
It will be your word against mine!
132
00:06:54,626 --> 00:06:58,761
And we all know that everyone trusts me
way more than you guys!
133
00:07:00,915 --> 00:07:02,691
You guys, please don't tell anybody.
134
00:07:02,808 --> 00:07:07,091
Okay. We won't tell anybody as long as you
are supernice to us, every day, from now on.
135
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,652
Oh right, like that's possible!
Alright, fine!
136
00:07:09,688 --> 00:07:13,280
You know what I'm gonna do, Kyle?!
I'm gonna go home and photoshop the picture
137
00:07:13,288 --> 00:07:15,632
so that it is your face with Butters wiener
in his mouth here!
138
00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:20,870
And if any of you say anything to anybody,
I'll simply show them the picture of Kyle.
139
00:07:22,565 --> 00:07:27,443
Camp New Grace
"Pray The Gay Away."
140
00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:31,940
Everyone, say hello to our
new camper, Butters.
141
00:07:31,986 --> 00:07:34,192
Hi Butters. Hello.
- Hi. Hello Butters.
142
00:07:34,205 --> 00:07:37,130
Thank you so much for taking him in.
- Don't worry.
143
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:41,460
Your son just needs to learn
that he can be straight if he chooses to be.
144
00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:45,770
Do you know why you're here at camp, Butters?
- Because I'm bi-curious?
145
00:07:45,781 --> 00:07:50,907
That's right. Like all the campers here, you're
confused and you don't think there's a way out.
146
00:07:50,931 --> 00:07:54,142
But even though some people would have
you believe you can't control how you feel
147
00:07:54,189 --> 00:07:58,141
the truth is that with the power
of Jesus Christ you can be normal.
148
00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:00,742
Now, just to make sure you
don't slip up while in camp
149
00:08:00,745 --> 00:08:03,530
we assign every camper an accountabilibuddy.
150
00:08:03,577 --> 00:08:05,980
Let's meet Ryan, your accountabilibuddy.
151
00:08:06,015 --> 00:08:07,951
Ryan thought he could never change.
152
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,870
But now he's learning that with
the power of Christ and prayer
153
00:08:10,876 --> 00:08:13,253
he can have a whole new life.
154
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:21,092
Over this way we have the cafeteria.
All the meals are served there.
155
00:08:21,128 --> 00:08:23,961
Bradley! How about you
be Butters' accountabilibuddy?
156
00:08:23,998 --> 00:08:28,000
Humble yourselves therefore under God's mighty
hand, that he may lift you up. Peter 5:6
157
00:08:28,055 --> 00:08:31,583
Butters here is new to the camp.
He's chosen to rid himself of his affliction
158
00:08:31,588 --> 00:08:34,350
and forge a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ.
159
00:08:34,398 --> 00:08:35,830
I'm bi-curious.
160
00:08:35,866 --> 00:08:39,680
Do not lie with a man as one lies with
a woman, that is detestible. Leviticus 18:22.
161
00:08:39,716 --> 00:08:43,340
That's right, Bradley. I think we're
well on our way to being healed.
162
00:08:43,417 --> 00:08:46,501
We've got another one, room 22.
- Oh, darnit!
163
00:08:50,235 --> 00:08:54,222
Aw man, I've got H O R S now.
- Okay, my turn.
164
00:08:55,825 --> 00:08:57,820
Where is it, you filthy jew?
165
00:08:57,855 --> 00:09:00,262
Where's what?
- You know goddamn well what!
166
00:09:00,298 --> 00:09:02,491
Let go of me.
- What the hell are you doing, Cartman?!
167
00:09:02,527 --> 00:09:05,451
I went home to alter the picture of me with
Butters penis in my mouth to look like Kyle
168
00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:06,541
but it was gone!
169
00:09:06,577 --> 00:09:10,981
What did you do with my picture?!
- Knock it off! I don't have your stupid picture!
170
00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:13,522
Give it back, Kyle!
- I don't have it!
171
00:09:13,578 --> 00:09:15,732
I swear to God, Kyle,
if you don't give it back right now
172
00:09:15,747 --> 00:09:17,772
I'm gonna break your fucking
Jew legs right here!
173
00:09:17,805 --> 00:09:19,581
Shut up!
- You shut up!
174
00:09:19,615 --> 00:09:22,210
You're lying and you two
are covering up for him!
175
00:09:22,246 --> 00:09:24,792
You know what?
You're just like Jews yourselves!
176
00:09:24,828 --> 00:09:29,101
Stan, you're a Jew and Kenny,
you're a Jew! You're all Jews!
177
00:09:36,825 --> 00:09:39,491
The Lord is love this for
178
00:09:39,527 --> 00:09:45,183
With Jesus I can just say no
and not be confused anymore.
179
00:09:46,015 --> 00:09:48,820
We will now hear a sermon from Pastor Phillips.
180
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,251
For those of you who are new to camp
181
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:53,952
Pastor Phillips is somebody who has
broken free of the bonds that afflict you.
182
00:09:53,986 --> 00:09:56,042
He's bi-curious too?
183
00:09:56,075 --> 00:09:59,042
Not anymore.
Because Pastor Phillips prayed
184
00:09:59,047 --> 00:10:02,642
and by the hand of Jesus Christ
he's now completely cured!
185
00:10:02,688 --> 00:10:05,522
Let's hear it for Pastor Phillips, kids!
186
00:10:05,947 --> 00:10:09,153
Hello, campers!
187
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:13,680
Yes, believe it or not, I myself
used to have unclean urges
188
00:10:13,688 --> 00:10:19,362
and like a lot of you I thought I was just
made that way, that I didn't have a choice.
189
00:10:19,406 --> 00:10:23,132
But then I realized that God
didn't want me to be that way!
190
00:10:23,168 --> 00:10:25,002
God wanted me to be a man!
191
00:10:25,048 --> 00:10:29,300
So I buckled up in my little suit
and I prayed to be normal and guess what?
192
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,631
It worked!
193
00:10:31,676 --> 00:10:35,712
That's right, kids. You see,
right now you're like a paper clip.
194
00:10:35,745 --> 00:10:39,803
And just like a paper clip,
God needs to bend you and shape you
195
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:42,873
and make you straight.
196
00:10:48,728 --> 00:10:50,322
Park County
Police Station
197
00:10:50,907 --> 00:10:55,150
So you say you were robbed.
- Yes. A photograph.
198
00:10:55,186 --> 00:10:58,230
And I know who took it!
His name is Kyle Broflovski!
199
00:10:58,268 --> 00:11:01,811
If it's a photo, what's the big deal?
Why don't you just print out another one?
200
00:11:01,845 --> 00:11:06,383
It's a big deal, okay?! That picture is
my property and I want it back!
201
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:09,402
Okay, what is the picture of?
202
00:11:10,426 --> 00:11:12,863
Why does that matter?
203
00:11:12,896 --> 00:11:16,043
Well how are we gonna find your picture
unless we know what it is?
204
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:20,130
All right. It's a picture of me.
- Yes?
205
00:11:20,495 --> 00:11:23,303
It's a picture of me...
206
00:11:23,415 --> 00:11:27,362
and what appears to be a penis...
207
00:11:27,475 --> 00:11:29,121
in my mouth.
208
00:11:30,926 --> 00:11:34,460
You were sucking somebody's penis.
- No, no, I was not!
209
00:11:34,497 --> 00:11:38,663
I was asleep and this person just puts a penis
in my mouth without me knowing!
210
00:11:38,685 --> 00:11:40,320
And and took the picture!
211
00:11:40,355 --> 00:11:42,450
I see.
- Yes.
212
00:11:42,507 --> 00:11:46,861
Now it may appear in the picture that I'm
actually looking at the camera lens and smiling
213
00:11:46,865 --> 00:11:49,810
with the penis in my mouth
and giving a thumbs up.
214
00:11:49,847 --> 00:11:52,181
But I assure you, I was fast asleep!
215
00:11:52,215 --> 00:11:55,603
Well we'd have to get a warrant first,
approved by a grand jury
216
00:11:55,635 --> 00:11:58,403
I don't have time for that!
We have school tomorrow!
217
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:02,381
And I know that Kyle is gonna show the
picture to everybody during Show and Tell!
218
00:12:02,416 --> 00:12:05,022
Well then, you're screwed.
219
00:12:05,888 --> 00:12:10,983
You both do understand that we're trying
to save your souls from eternal life in hell?
220
00:12:11,016 --> 00:12:12,320
Well sure, I guess.
221
00:12:12,405 --> 00:12:14,172
Only through Christ can we cleanse our souls.
222
00:12:14,208 --> 00:12:19,203
And you do know the rule which states
that no impure or immoral images
223
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,233
are allowed to be seen by the eye?
224
00:12:21,266 --> 00:12:22,420
Well yeah, sure.
225
00:12:22,455 --> 00:12:25,003
So let's purify ourselves from everything
that makes the body or soul unclean.
226
00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:26,043
Corinthians, chapter 7.
227
00:12:26,075 --> 00:12:34,571
Then do you mind telling us why we found this,
1979 Sears mens underwear catalog in your room?
228
00:12:36,118 --> 00:12:38,132
That's mine.
229
00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:39,970
You know this is strictly forbidden!
230
00:12:40,006 --> 00:12:42,762
Ah I don't understand.
What's wrong with underwear?
231
00:12:42,806 --> 00:12:46,712
What's wrong?!
This is what makes you confused!
232
00:12:46,748 --> 00:12:50,222
Don't you get it?!
This is confusing you right now, isn't it?!
233
00:12:50,256 --> 00:12:52,392
Yes, it's all very confusing!
234
00:12:52,425 --> 00:12:56,912
This is just as much your fault, Butters!
Bradley is your accountabilibuddy!
235
00:12:56,945 --> 00:12:59,692
That makes you accountabilibuddyable.
236
00:12:59,897 --> 00:13:03,210
Both of your boys behavior has jeopardizing
all of the work we're doing here
237
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:06,070
to save these kids!
238
00:13:12,598 --> 00:13:16,761
Right. For having contraband in
your room, you will both do penance
239
00:13:16,775 --> 00:13:19,931
by writing scripture for the next four days!
240
00:13:21,078 --> 00:13:24,460
That son of a bitch. He's gonna
show everyone that picture.
241
00:13:24,495 --> 00:13:26,510
Only twelve hours from now.
242
00:13:27,028 --> 00:13:31,702
That's it. I don't have a choice.
I'm gonna have to bring mom in on this one!
243
00:13:31,847 --> 00:13:34,133
I'm going to have to tell her the truth.
244
00:13:39,845 --> 00:13:43,170
Eric? What's the, what's the matter?
245
00:13:43,808 --> 00:13:47,592
I don't wanna go to school tomorrow.
246
00:13:47,648 --> 00:13:51,463
Sweetie, tell mommy what happened.
247
00:13:51,676 --> 00:13:56,580
Kyle, has a picture of me and he's gonna
show everyone during Show and Tell.
248
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:59,671
And everyone's gonna laugh at me.
249
00:13:59,725 --> 00:14:02,503
Oh, now why would he do that?
250
00:14:02,615 --> 00:14:06,322
Because, he's jealous of how
much smarter I am than him.
251
00:14:06,357 --> 00:14:10,043
So, he's gonna show everyone the picture.
252
00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:13,673
What is the picture of, Eric?
253
00:14:15,415 --> 00:14:19,252
Last time, when Butters spent the night,
I was being really nice to him
254
00:14:19,265 --> 00:14:23,153
and I was gonna take a picture
of him for his mom to have.
255
00:14:23,185 --> 00:14:24,873
Oh, that's nice.
256
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:28,201
But then, right when I took the picture,
Butters got really hot
257
00:14:28,207 --> 00:14:32,010
so he pulled his pajama bottoms down
and then I tripped and fell down
258
00:14:32,016 --> 00:14:35,760
and my mouth landed right on his penis
and then I thought of something funny
259
00:14:35,768 --> 00:14:38,731
so I smiled up at, the camera
and gave like a, thumbs up
260
00:14:38,737 --> 00:14:42,200
and then Kyle took the picture from me
and he's gonna show it to everybody
261
00:14:42,207 --> 00:14:45,280
and make them think I'm gay.
262
00:14:46,147 --> 00:14:49,330
Oh, there there, sweetie.
It'll be okay.
263
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:52,092
These things happen.
264
00:14:52,127 --> 00:14:57,260
But, mom, I've been trying to get the picture
back, but he won't give it to me.
265
00:14:57,685 --> 00:15:01,590
It's okay, Eric.
I'll have a talk with Kyle's mother.
266
00:15:02,175 --> 00:15:04,611
You will?
267
00:15:04,825 --> 00:15:09,502
But that he loved us and sent his only son
to be the satisfaction of our sins.
268
00:15:09,535 --> 00:15:10,893
Neato!
269
00:15:10,928 --> 00:15:14,711
Butters, I'm sorry for getting you into trouble.
- Aw, that's okay, Bradley.
270
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:16,213
I really want to get better.
271
00:15:16,218 --> 00:15:20,823
I try to do everything the counselors say,
but somehow I still feel confused.
272
00:15:20,877 --> 00:15:23,310
Yeah, well hopefully, when we finish
writing all these verses
273
00:15:23,315 --> 00:15:26,063
we won't be bi-curious no more
and then we can go home!
274
00:15:26,305 --> 00:15:30,221
You're really terrific, Butters.
I mean, I think you're great.
275
00:15:32,007 --> 00:15:34,641
Oh God! Bad thought! Bad thought!
276
00:15:34,676 --> 00:15:38,921
What's the matter?
- I think, I think I like you.
277
00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:41,732
Well I like you too, Bradley.
- You do?
278
00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:43,943
Well, yeah!
- You like like me?
279
00:15:43,988 --> 00:15:46,410
Sure, I like like you a lot a lot.
280
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,680
Oh God, we're both unfixable!
Don't you see we're lost causes?!
281
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:51,701
We're just evil and nothing can change us!
282
00:15:51,745 --> 00:15:55,261
There's no other way out, Butters!
We have to kill ourselves!
283
00:15:55,305 --> 00:15:59,793
No! Bradley! You can't leave,
you're my accountabilibuddy!
284
00:16:04,098 --> 00:16:08,160
Hello?
- Hello, Sheila? It's Liane, Eric's mother.
285
00:16:08,207 --> 00:16:10,471
Oh, hello, Mrs. Cartman.
286
00:16:10,517 --> 00:16:12,921
Sheila, I'm sorry to trouble you with this
287
00:16:12,938 --> 00:16:18,202
but apparently your son has a picture of Eric
with another boy's penis in his mouth.
288
00:16:20,486 --> 00:16:21,812
Excuse me?
289
00:16:24,237 --> 00:16:26,861
Don't worry, sweetie, everything is fine.
290
00:16:26,895 --> 00:16:28,891
It is? Really?
291
00:16:28,926 --> 00:16:31,532
Oh, mommy, thank you! Thank you!
292
00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:34,111
You have nothing to worry about
in school tomorrow.
293
00:16:34,145 --> 00:16:38,492
Mrs. Broflovski assured me that Kyle
doesn't have the picture.
294
00:16:38,676 --> 00:16:39,982
What?
295
00:16:40,028 --> 00:16:42,730
She talked with her son
and says he doesn't have it.
296
00:16:42,775 --> 00:16:46,823
Mom, she's lying!
- She said she was sure, Eric.
297
00:16:46,855 --> 00:16:50,541
Mom, you don't know anything about Jews!
They lie all the time!
298
00:16:50,575 --> 00:16:53,863
Well, Eric, there's nothing more
I can do about it.
299
00:16:54,945 --> 00:16:58,113
Then that's it. Kyle wins.
300
00:16:58,705 --> 00:17:00,291
But he won't win completely!
301
00:17:00,327 --> 00:17:04,451
I'm going to print out another copy of that
picture and show it to the class myself!
302
00:17:04,488 --> 00:17:07,952
I can at least rob Kyle of his final laugh.
303
00:17:08,726 --> 00:17:14,240
Do you mind telling me how you managed
to lose your accountabilibuddy?!
304
00:17:14,276 --> 00:17:17,220
I went looking for him,
but he runs real fast.
305
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:19,870
You don't seem to take
this camp seriously, Butters.
306
00:17:19,916 --> 00:17:23,400
I've called your father in for a talk.
- Oh no, my dad?
307
00:17:23,435 --> 00:17:25,261
Do you understand the concept of hell?
308
00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:29,733
Do you realize that if we don't fix you,
you will burn in a lake of fire for eternity?
309
00:17:29,777 --> 00:17:33,081
Well yeah, but I just don't quite
understand what you're fixing.
310
00:17:33,126 --> 00:17:37,072
We're fixing your confusion!
- There you are, Butters!
311
00:17:37,128 --> 00:17:39,632
Oh, hey dad.
- What's he done now?!
312
00:17:39,668 --> 00:17:43,613
Mr. Stotch, your son is insubordinate,
unwilling to change and worse yet
313
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,943
he's lost his accountabilibuddy!
314
00:17:46,077 --> 00:17:49,793
They found him! They found Bradley!
You'd better come quick!
315
00:17:56,926 --> 00:18:00,113
Oh Lord in Heaven!
Don't jump, Bradley!
316
00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:03,281
Stay back!
I'm an abomination of God!
317
00:18:03,408 --> 00:18:05,520
No, we're fixing you!
318
00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:15,183
Guess you think today is your big day, huh Kyle?
To embarrass me in front of everyone?
319
00:18:15,218 --> 00:18:18,300
Well guess what?
I'm not giving you the satisfaction!
320
00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:22,392
Okay students, let's all take our seats.
321
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,211
Since it is Monday, we'll start
as always with Show And Tell.
322
00:18:25,216 --> 00:18:27,593
Who'd like to go first?
323
00:18:27,636 --> 00:18:28,992
Ow! Quit it, dude!
324
00:18:29,037 --> 00:18:32,312
Okay Eric, Jesus, calm down.
You can go first.
325
00:18:37,518 --> 00:18:40,901
For Show And Tell today, I would like
to share with you some very special,
326
00:18:40,907 --> 00:18:45,853
very artsy photographs I've taken in pursuit
of being a respected photographer.
327
00:18:45,965 --> 00:18:48,693
This first picture I like to call
"Moods of Winter."
328
00:18:48,717 --> 00:18:50,971
A simple aspen grove shot
in high-contrast black and white
329
00:18:50,975 --> 00:18:54,920
shows the brittleness of the trunks
and reminds one of death.
330
00:18:56,827 --> 00:19:00,541
This picture I took just as the sun was rising
and this lonely man was walking to work.
331
00:19:00,586 --> 00:19:02,700
A statement about all of
our loneliness, perhaps?
332
00:19:02,738 --> 00:19:04,662
He isn't actually going to show everyone.
333
00:19:04,697 --> 00:19:06,243
And now this next picture...
334
00:19:07,606 --> 00:19:11,670
Don't jump, Bradley! You will
only make god angrier with you!
335
00:19:11,727 --> 00:19:13,591
It's too late.
336
00:19:13,648 --> 00:19:17,742
Bradley, please. You're my accountabilibuddy.
How will this make me look?
337
00:19:17,776 --> 00:19:19,882
You get back. You're only
gonna make things worse.
338
00:19:19,918 --> 00:19:22,690
I'm not normal. I'll never be normal!
339
00:19:22,725 --> 00:19:27,371
You're perfectly normal, Bradley.
- Get back! You're just as confused as he is!
340
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,642
All right. All right that does it!
341
00:19:29,677 --> 00:19:34,041
I am sick and tired of everyone
telling me I'm confused!
342
00:19:34,098 --> 00:19:38,082
I wasn't confused until other people
started telling me I was!
343
00:19:39,936 --> 00:19:44,041
You know what I think? I think maybe
you are the ones who are confused!
344
00:19:44,248 --> 00:19:45,183
Yeah.
345
00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:49,420
I'm not gonna be confused anymore
just because you say I should be!
346
00:19:49,458 --> 00:19:55,470
My name is Butters, I'm eight years old,
I'm blood type O and I'm bi-curious!
347
00:19:55,767 --> 00:20:01,341
And even that's okay! Because if I'm bi-curious
and I'm somehow made from God.
348
00:20:01,375 --> 00:20:05,873
Then I think your God must be
a little bi-curious himself!
349
00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:13,391
I think. I think I'd like to come down now.
350
00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:17,260
He's coming down! We did it!
351
00:20:17,566 --> 00:20:20,813
Through the power of Christ
we have saved this child!
352
00:20:21,257 --> 00:20:23,503
Well Butters, I guess we might as well go home.
353
00:20:23,536 --> 00:20:27,571
Looks like you're never gonna change.
- No. I like being bi-curious.
354
00:20:27,606 --> 00:20:31,330
Well you know something? So do I.
355
00:20:32,975 --> 00:20:35,163
Wait. Now I am confused.
356
00:20:35,647 --> 00:20:38,881
And this photograph I took of a sunset
near the power plant.
357
00:20:38,917 --> 00:20:42,853
Note how the contrasting images make
a statement about our impact on the Earth.
358
00:20:42,885 --> 00:20:46,333
Which brings us to my last picture.
359
00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:50,921
This picture you may find somewhat controversial.
360
00:20:56,228 --> 00:20:57,390
Dude.
361
00:20:57,428 --> 00:21:01,081
Yes. This is shot at a 5.6 aperture
using a low-light filter.
362
00:21:01,115 --> 00:21:03,021
You can see the grain from
the high-speed film...
363
00:21:03,025 --> 00:21:04,833
there's sort of a penis in
my mouth right here...
364
00:21:04,836 --> 00:21:07,192
and the low depth of field keeps
the background soft.
365
00:21:07,228 --> 00:21:09,343
Eric, what the hell is this?!
366
00:21:09,375 --> 00:21:12,142
What this is, is a statement
against the war in Iraq.
367
00:21:12,178 --> 00:21:14,602
It's wrong that we still have
our troops there. It's wrong!
368
00:21:14,638 --> 00:21:16,622
And what I think that-
- Eric Cartman?
369
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:19,642
We got an emergency message from your mother?
370
00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:24,210
Do not show picture.
Kyle didn't have it after all.
371
00:21:24,247 --> 00:21:26,352
Found it under your desk.
372
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:29,161
She said you'd know what that means, mkay?
373
00:21:39,605 --> 00:21:41,201
Lame.
374
00:21:41,307 --> 00:21:43,802
Transcript: spscriptorium
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