1
00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:37,079
Our factory works
24/7 to produce candy,

2
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,059
and we have over 500 employees!

3
00:00:39,060 --> 00:00:42,790
Here you can see where the cocoa
is mixed with the sugar and milk!

4
00:00:42,860 --> 00:00:44,730
Wow, cool!

5
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,630
Chocolate rules.

6
00:00:46,700 --> 00:00:47,330
You should know, fat ass.

7
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:48,120
Ay!

8
00:00:48,121 --> 00:00:50,330
I'm not fat, you sneaky jew!

9
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,069
Oh God, you guys,
really? This again?

10
00:00:52,070 --> 00:00:54,510
And here is where all the
Fudge is put into boxes

11
00:00:54,511 --> 00:00:56,369
to be shipped all over the world!

12
00:00:56,370 --> 00:00:58,649
Kinda like Cartman's
dad shipped out on him.

13
00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:00,050
I have a dad, butthole!

14
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:01,090
My mom is my dad!

15
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,620
You guys, stop!

16
00:01:02,690 --> 00:01:05,160
All you're doing is rehashing
a bunch of old stuff!

17
00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:08,160
Hey Stan, isn't that Tom Cruise?

18
00:01:08,230 --> 00:01:10,500
Huh?

19
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:11,970
Oh wow, it is!

20
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:12,970
Hey guys, check it out.

21
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,970
Tom Cruise is a Fudge packer.

22
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,010
What did you call me?

23
00:01:17,070 --> 00:01:19,310
Hey, that is Tom Cruise!

24
00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:22,510
How come you're packin' Fudge,
Mr. Cruise?

25
00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:25,210
I'm not a Fudge packer!

26
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,480
Dude, you don't have to
be ashamed or anything.

27
00:01:27,550 --> 00:01:28,580
But I'm not a Fudge packer!

28
00:01:28,650 --> 00:01:30,050
Then why are you packing Fudge?

29
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,529
I'm not.

30
00:01:31,530 --> 00:01:33,360
I'm a very busy actor!

31
00:01:33,430 --> 00:01:37,000
I'm just here trying to get away for
a weekend and do some fly fishing!

32
00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,760
Dude, you are in a Fudge
factory packing Fudge.

33
00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:41,190
Oh that does it.

34
00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:42,809
I will sue you!

35
00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:43,740
For what?

36
00:01:43,810 --> 00:01:46,070
You can't just call somebody a
Fudge packer, and get away with it!

37
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:48,370
Hey is that Fudge
packer Tom Cruise?

38
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:49,070
That's it!

39
00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:52,299
I'm suing this entire
intolerant town!

40
00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:53,559
- But dude...
- no buts!

41
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,960
You wanna accuse somebody
of being a Fudge packer,

42
00:01:55,961 --> 00:01:58,640
you're gonna pay the consequences!

43
00:01:58,710 --> 00:02:01,540
Guys, I wanna really thank
you all for coming.

44
00:02:01,610 --> 00:02:06,279
Shockingly, I've just been slandered
once again in the town of South Park,

45
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:07,970
something I know you
all can relate to.

46
00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:09,340
Sure can.

47
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:09,940
That damn town.

48
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,409
I can't believe it.

49
00:02:11,410 --> 00:02:14,829
That town just seems to be a
hotbed of hatred and lies!

50
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:15,919
I'm fed up with it.

51
00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:17,280
That town suggested
I was made of shit.

52
00:02:17,350 --> 00:02:19,150
Yeah.

53
00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:21,199
Well, I was just over there
doing some fly fishing,

54
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,450
and this little boy walks up
and calls me a Fudge packer!

55
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:23,850
Oh man!

56
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:24,350
That's crazy!

57
00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:25,850
So wrong!

58
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:28,090
I know, right?

59
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,130
And then other kids in the town and
their teacher start joining in!

60
00:02:31,290 --> 00:02:33,600
South Park, Colorado is
the most insensitive,

61
00:02:33,790 --> 00:02:36,300
racist and bigoted
place in this country!

62
00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:39,230
That town thinks they can say
whatever they want about people

63
00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:40,290
and get away with it.

64
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,210
If anybody has a gripe
against that shit it's me.

65
00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:46,750
Yeah, well, I say enough.

66
00:02:46,950 --> 00:02:49,300
All of us together can
put a stop to the slander

67
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,220
coming from that town
once and for all!

68
00:02:51,370 --> 00:02:54,240
No longer will they make snide
remarks about whoever they want!

69
00:02:54,490 --> 00:02:55,660
Yeah!

70
00:02:56,090 --> 00:02:57,850
Hey, Tom, I ate too much subway.

71
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:58,930
Where's your bathroom?

72
00:02:59,150 --> 00:03:00,980
Oh just the door down
the hall there, Jared.

73
00:03:01,990 --> 00:03:03,170
No, no, that's a closet.

74
00:03:03,310 --> 00:03:04,130
Go down more.

75
00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:06,000
No, that's a closet too.

76
00:03:07,170 --> 00:03:08,600
No, Jared, that one's a closet.

77
00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:11,470
No. That's a closet.

78
00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:13,640
No, that's a closet.

79
00:03:17,870 --> 00:03:19,840
Stan Marsh to the principal's office.

80
00:03:19,990 --> 00:03:21,780
Stan Marsh come to the
principal's office immediately.

81
00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:24,260
Dude, what'd you do?
I have no idea.

82
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,080
You just had to push it,
didn't you, Stan?

83
00:03:32,390 --> 00:03:33,690
You just had to make fun of Tom

84
00:03:33,850 --> 00:03:34,990
Cruise again!

85
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,810
Did you call him a Fudge packer?

86
00:03:37,980 --> 00:03:40,010
Aww, he was packing Fudge!

87
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,540
Little boy, you don't
understand how serious this is.

88
00:03:43,710 --> 00:03:46,910
Tom Cruise has put together
a class action lawsuit

89
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,830
along with 200 other celebrities!

90
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:53,640
They're going to Sue the bejeezus
out of this entire town, mkay?

91
00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:54,730
It wasn't just me.

92
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:56,920
Other kids called him a Fudge packer,
even Mr. Garrison.

93
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:57,930
But you started it.

94
00:03:58,050 --> 00:04:00,150
Mr. Broflovski,
tell him what you told us.

95
00:04:00,350 --> 00:04:03,890
Stan, a class action lawsuit
means the end of this town.

96
00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:06,430
We can't possibly go up
against their lawyers.

97
00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:09,560
Dammit, Marsh, why couldn't you have
just kept your stupid, ugly kid in line?

98
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,110
Hey, don't start blaming
me for his looks!

99
00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:18,260
Mr. Cruise, my son is so, so sorry,

100
00:04:18,380 --> 00:04:21,490
and he would do anything to
take back his hurtful comments.

101
00:04:21,630 --> 00:04:22,560
That's nice.

102
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,270
I'm still suing you all!

103
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,630
Nobody calls me a Fudge packer!

104
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,820
Yes, it was a terrible mistake.

105
00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:31,980
But maybe you could see how...

106
00:04:32,130 --> 00:04:33,720
since you do...

107
00:04:33,890 --> 00:04:36,860
take Fudge and pack
it into a box...

108
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:38,140
What?

109
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:39,800
Well, I'm just saying that

110
00:04:39,930 --> 00:04:46,320
you are employed currently
as a person who packages...

111
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:47,230
I'm an actor!

112
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:51,730
I do not pack Fudge. Right.

113
00:04:51,870 --> 00:04:53,970
My son just got confused,

114
00:04:54,110 --> 00:04:55,670
because you have a little uniform,

115
00:04:55,810 --> 00:04:59,380
and a hat that says 'Fred's
Fudge and candies.'

116
00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:00,770
and you are...

117
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:02,330
Look, it doesn't matter.

118
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,280
Just please withdraw the
class-action lawsuit.

119
00:05:04,730 --> 00:05:07,530
Nobody in our town will ever
call you a Fudge packer again.

120
00:05:08,910 --> 00:05:12,190
There is one thing
that your town could do

121
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,040
to maybe make me forget
about this lawsuit.

122
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:15,930
Anything!

123
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:17,610
Anything you want, Mr. Cruise!

124
00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:20,160
There's just that there's somebody
I've always wanted to meet.

125
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,280
Face to face.

126
00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:23,510
If you could get him to
show up in your town...

127
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:24,230
Sure!

128
00:05:24,370 --> 00:05:25,020
Who is it?

129
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:26,440
We can get anybody for you!

130
00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:27,760
Muhammad.

131
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,010
The prophet of the muslim faith.

132
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:32,170
Oooh!

133
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:34,680
That's tricky.

134
00:05:34,870 --> 00:05:36,430
Well, then you can just get sued!

135
00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:38,970
Mr. Cruise, if there's anybody else we
could try and bring to town we could...

136
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,460
No! Just him!

137
00:05:40,710 --> 00:05:46,530
You get Muhammad to appear in South Park
or your little town is done!

138
00:05:47,210 --> 00:05:49,030
Okay, people, I know, I know!

139
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:53,490
But he will get the other celebrities
to withdraw their lawsuit

140
00:05:53,690 --> 00:05:56,550
if we just get Muhammad
to appear in South Park.

141
00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,280
Are you nuts?

142
00:05:58,430 --> 00:06:00,900
If Muhammad appears in
South Park, we get bombed!

143
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,250
Yeah! That's right!

144
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:03,150
You tell 'em.

145
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:04,520
Now, we don't know that!

146
00:06:04,650 --> 00:06:08,030
Maybe enough time has passed that
now it's okay to show Muhammad.

147
00:06:08,170 --> 00:06:10,420
Dude, I can't believe we are dealing
with this Muhammad thing again.

148
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,890
But even if it were safe
now for Muhammad to come,

149
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,650
how would we ever find him?

150
00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:18,680
Yeah, showing an image of him
is completely off limits

151
00:06:18,810 --> 00:06:21,810
and censored so nobody has ever
seen what Muhammad looks like!

152
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,170
I saw him once.

153
00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:27,250
You did?

154
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:30,000
Yeah, a while ago my friends
joined David Blaine's cult.

155
00:06:30,170 --> 00:06:31,820
I had to go to the super
best friends to rescue them.

156
00:06:32,010 --> 00:06:33,340
Muhammad was one of the
super best friends!

157
00:06:34,110 --> 00:06:35,800
Oh, and what, and he was
just out in the open

158
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:37,690
where everyone could see
him and nobody got bombed?

159
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:39,280
No, dude, it was totally fine.

160
00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:41,810
Muhammad showed up and there
was no violence at all?

161
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,290
Well, a giant John wilkes
booth shot Abraham Lincoln...

162
00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:46,200
Alright, Stan, that's enough!

163
00:06:46,410 --> 00:06:48,600
Jesus, you can't learn
to shut up, can you?

164
00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:51,660
Now look, I believe
we can find Muhammad.

165
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,000
I've done a lot of research,

166
00:06:53,140 --> 00:06:56,340
and I've completed a sketch of what
Muhammad could look like today.

167
00:06:56,890 --> 00:06:57,700
No, don't!

168
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:03,390
Is that okay to show?

169
00:07:03,910 --> 00:07:04,870
I don't know.

170
00:07:05,190 --> 00:07:06,540
I guess we'll see.

171
00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:10,620
Tom, what is up with
this Muhammad thing?

172
00:07:10,770 --> 00:07:11,910
It doesn't make sense.

173
00:07:12,270 --> 00:07:15,050
Yeah, you said we were
just suing South Park!

174
00:07:15,790 --> 00:07:18,360
No, I said we were going
to use South Park

175
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,680
to make sure we never
got ripped on again.

176
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,870
Look, people,
all of us get ridiculed,

177
00:07:24,130 --> 00:07:26,360
but who is the one
person on this earth

178
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,450
that is completely
free from slander?

179
00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:31,640
You want Muhammad because
he can't be ridiculed?

180
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:35,990
Muhammad has a power that makes him
impervious to being made fun of.

181
00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:38,860
What if we could
harness that power?

182
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:41,360
Jimmy buffet!

183
00:07:41,590 --> 00:07:42,760
How would you like it if nobody

184
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,640
could call your music drunken
frat boy monkey garbage?

185
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:47,850
I'd love it.

186
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:51,150
By taking what Muhammad has we
would all be safe from ridicule.

187
00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:52,480
Like TimBurton here!

188
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,230
Imagine it, Tim,
nobody could rip on you

189
00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:56,930
for all the rehashed
movies you've made lately.

190
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,370
There'd never be a tv show

191
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,080
that pointed out you haven't
had an original thought

192
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,870
since beetlejuice and
you put Johnny depp

193
00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:03,920
and the same crappy
music in every film

194
00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:05,370
and that if you're that
in love with Johnny depp

195
00:08:05,540 --> 00:08:06,810
you should just have
sex with him already.

196
00:08:06,980 --> 00:08:08,500
A tv show could never say that?

197
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,760
Gee, that'd be swell.

198
00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:12,140
Well, it can be a reality.

199
00:08:12,510 --> 00:08:15,590
Once we have Muhammad,
we can take his power from him!

200
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:16,800
Excuse me.

201
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,690
This is the home of
Tom Cruise, right?

202
00:08:20,420 --> 00:08:21,140
Hey!

203
00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:23,600
It's one of the kids from
South Park that slandered me!

204
00:08:23,810 --> 00:08:24,940
I didn't come for myself.

205
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,490
I'm just an escort for another celebrity
that wants to get in on your lawsuit.

206
00:08:29,230 --> 00:08:29,910
Who?

207
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,710
Allo!

208
00:08:35,170 --> 00:08:36,480
Jennifer Lopez!

209
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:36,759
Hey Jen!

210
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:37,770
Ahh!

211
00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:39,230
Wow!

212
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,840
Yes, I am Hennifer Lopez,

213
00:08:42,010 --> 00:08:43,580
and I like tacos and burritos!

214
00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:56,170
In the great hall of
the super best friends

215
00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:00,190
there are assembled the leaders
of the world's biggest religions!

216
00:09:00,610 --> 00:09:01,450
Jesus!

217
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:03,780
Buddha!

218
00:09:05,530 --> 00:09:06,580
Krishna!

219
00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:09,350
Muhammad!

220
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:12,900
Lao Tsu and Joseph Smith!

221
00:09:13,670 --> 00:09:15,550
And the mighty semen!

222
00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:16,590
It's not semen.

223
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:17,870
It's sea man!

224
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:20,870
Their mission,
to right that which is wrong!

225
00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:23,270
And to serve all mankind!

226
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,860
Jus, all we are asking to do is bring
Muhammad to our town for like an hour.

227
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,670
My son, much has changed
since you were last here.

228
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,370
Muhammad cannot make
public appearances.

229
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,890
We simply cannot risk any
violence from the muslim people.

230
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:40,880
Aw, not you guys too!

231
00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:42,920
Jesus fucking Christ!

232
00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:48,690
Later at the hall of
the super best friends!

233
00:09:49,510 --> 00:09:52,700
Okay, will you let Muhammad
come to South Park

234
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:53,830
if we dress him up like a pirate?

235
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,730
No, muslims would still be
angry you showed his face.

236
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:58,230
Kay.

237
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,990
What if we cover his
face with a paper bag?

238
00:10:00,390 --> 00:10:03,060
No, because you'd still be
showing him walking around.

239
00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:04,550
That could be trouble.

240
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:05,720
Okay. A suit of armor.

241
00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:08,320
We just had muhamad a suit of
armor so you can't see anything.

242
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:11,860
But it's still muhamad walking
around in human form.

243
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,070
Come on, this is ridiculous!

244
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:14,860
Boys!

245
00:10:15,010 --> 00:10:17,310
You must understand,
that people get very offended

246
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,850
when Muhammad be mocked cause
he is a religious figure!

247
00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:24,820
Buddha, don't do coke
in front of kids!

248
00:10:26,310 --> 00:10:29,320
A u-haul. What if we bring Muhammad to
South Park in the back of u-haul

249
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:30,840
and he just stays in
there out of sight.

250
00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:33,290
But he's talking from the u-haul?

251
00:10:34,030 --> 00:10:35,860
Wul, yeah, he's gotta talk or
nobody knows he's in there!

252
00:10:36,530 --> 00:10:38,320
Hearing his voice, I dunno.

253
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:39,850
What do you think, Moses?

254
00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:44,440
Um. Would there be
windows on the u-haul?

255
00:10:45,170 --> 00:10:46,220
There d doesn't have to be.

256
00:10:47,450 --> 00:10:48,890
Umm, I guess.

257
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,710
I guess that would be okay.

258
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:56,270
Here it is, friends!

259
00:10:56,450 --> 00:10:57,630
Once we have Muhammad

260
00:10:57,780 --> 00:11:00,500
this machine will give us his
power to not be made fun of!

261
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,940
Tom, Tom, you're talking crazy, mate.

262
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,790
Only Muhammad has that ability.

263
00:11:05,020 --> 00:11:06,570
How could we ever get it from him?

264
00:11:07,270 --> 00:11:08,690
We take his goo.

265
00:11:11,820 --> 00:11:13,210
It'as simple as that people.

266
00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:17,860
Rob reiner has been
telling me about the goo

267
00:11:18,030 --> 00:11:19,760
which is inside every
person on earth.

268
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:22,640
Any goo can be harvested
from a person's body

269
00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:24,620
and easily placed into another.

270
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:26,130
Wait.

271
00:11:26,290 --> 00:11:28,270
You mean we aren't gonna Sue
and get a bunch of money?

272
00:11:28,540 --> 00:11:29,370
No, Jen!

273
00:11:29,510 --> 00:11:30,890
We've all got enough money!

274
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,360
Yes, who needs more money?

275
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,270
We need to get Muhammad's goo!

276
00:11:34,430 --> 00:11:36,510
Yes, yes, arriba arriba!

277
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:37,970
Uh, excuse us for a second.

278
00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:44,370
Alright. Just what the hell
do you think you're doing?

279
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:45,530
What am I doing?

280
00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:47,420
Just having some fun, cholo.

281
00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:48,360
Cut the crap.

282
00:11:48,510 --> 00:11:49,830
I thought we were here
for lawsuit money!

283
00:11:49,980 --> 00:11:51,330
Just keep your mouth shut,

284
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,790
and do what I tell you.

285
00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:54,590
If we're staying here then I
want to know what's going on.

286
00:11:55,070 --> 00:11:56,860
Don't forget I know
who you really are.

287
00:11:58,970 --> 00:12:00,070
Mitch Conner.

288
00:12:00,950 --> 00:12:02,090
If you know what's good for you,

289
00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:03,530
you'll keep your mouth shut, kid.

290
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,700
You're a no good swindler
and a two-bit thief.

291
00:12:05,870 --> 00:12:07,410
We were here for money, not goo!

292
00:12:07,570 --> 00:12:08,600
Think about it.

293
00:12:08,740 --> 00:12:11,080
Muhammad is the only person in the
world that can't get ripped on.

294
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,950
Those celebrities want his goo.

295
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,280
Yeah, so what?

296
00:12:15,450 --> 00:12:17,370
You know what that goo is
worth on the open market?

297
00:12:17,510 --> 00:12:20,100
Hell, I got people in Hong Kong
would give me 50 mil for that goo.

298
00:12:21,860 --> 00:12:25,430
So we let them take it from Muhammad,
then we steal it for ourselves.

299
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:26,810
You catch on quick, kid.

300
00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:28,520
Mrs. Lopez?

301
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:29,980
Someone's coming.
Get my wig back on!

302
00:12:30,490 --> 00:12:32,080
Hey, I was just seeing
if you needed some...

303
00:12:32,780 --> 00:12:36,210
Oh God, you found my
Fudge packing uniform.

304
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,970
Ohhhh, your secret is
safe with me, Tommy.

305
00:12:41,770 --> 00:12:44,090
Boys, we are so sorry
for doubting you.

306
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,040
You really did bring us Muhammad.

307
00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:48,510
Thank you so much
for coming, Muhammad

308
00:12:52,690 --> 00:12:53,500
welcome.

309
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,550
Ooh, is that okay?

310
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:56,720
I don't know.

311
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,080
Alright.

312
00:12:58,270 --> 00:12:58,820
Now we just need to figure out

313
00:12:59,010 --> 00:13:01,530
how to get Muhammad from the back
of the truck into Tom Cruise's limo.

314
00:13:01,750 --> 00:13:02,340
What?

315
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,200
No, dad, we promised Muhammad
would stay in the truck.

316
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,960
Cruise's lawyers were
very specific, boys.

317
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:09,680
He's sending a limo for Muhammad
to meet him outside of town.

318
00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:11,930
But Muhammad can't be seen dad!

319
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:13,890
Alright. We'll put
a sheet over him.

320
00:13:14,030 --> 00:13:15,300
No, you can't even show his feet.

321
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:18,640
How about a Halloween costume
with one of those plastic masks?

322
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,390
No, you could still see his eyes.

323
00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:23,940
Okay. How about like
a big mascot outfit.

324
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:25,620
One that covered him completely

325
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:26,730
head to toe, not even showing

326
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:27,460
his eyes.

327
00:13:27,860 --> 00:13:29,070
Muhammad, would that be okay?

328
00:13:31,420 --> 00:13:32,080
Okay.

329
00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:35,370
Tom, Rob!

330
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,780
We've just received word from

331
00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:37,700
the lawyers.

332
00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:38,810
South Park is saying they have

333
00:13:38,970 --> 00:13:39,800
Muhammad for us!

334
00:13:41,230 --> 00:13:41,880
Rob, will the machine be

335
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:42,470
ready?

336
00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:43,930
Oh, it'll be ready!

337
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:45,130
More tacos!

338
00:13:45,310 --> 00:13:46,420
I want more tacos!

339
00:13:46,970 --> 00:13:47,520
No!

340
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,900
No more tacos, miss Lopez!

341
00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:50,310
More tacos!

342
00:13:50,590 --> 00:13:52,050
You just had seven tacos!

343
00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:53,680
I want more tacos!

344
00:13:53,890 --> 00:13:54,610
I'm sorry.

345
00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:56,420
Why are you doing this?

346
00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:57,890
I am Jennifer Lopez.

347
00:13:58,020 --> 00:13:59,430
I need tacos to live!

348
00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:00,690
You know God damn well you're

349
00:14:00,830 --> 00:14:01,500
not really Jennifer Lopez.

350
00:14:01,630 --> 00:14:02,840
Now stop pissing me off!

351
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,190
Miss Lopez, I can go.

352
00:14:04,330 --> 00:14:05,440
What'dya want like three tacos?

353
00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:07,970
Oh, thank you, Charlie Sheen!

354
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:09,810
And maybe an enchirito too?

355
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:10,760
Aw Jesus, they don't even

356
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:11,960
make enchiritos anymore!

357
00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:12,760
Yes, they do!

358
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,460
No, I tried getting one last week.

359
00:14:14,650 --> 00:14:17,330
Not all tacos bells have enchiritos
but some still carry them.

360
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,020
God, will somebody shut her up?

361
00:14:21,370 --> 00:14:22,600
Alright, the limo's here.

362
00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:24,770
Muhammad, thanks again
for doing this.

363
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,230
You've done this town
a huge favor, Muhammad.

364
00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:31,550
Hold on a second! Stop!

365
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:33,920
There are some
extremists threatening

366
00:14:34,050 --> 00:14:35,730
that if we give Muhammad
to the celebrities,

367
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:37,100
they're gonna bomb us!

368
00:14:37,290 --> 00:14:37,870
What?

369
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:40,580
Oh, it's just a stupid
threat, come on.

370
00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:42,070
We don't wanna piss
of Tom Cruise again.

371
00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:45,600
Alright, we got him, Tom!

372
00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:54,630
Muhammad! Are you okay?

373
00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:56,630
What the hell was that?

374
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:58,520
Obviously the
terrorists are for real!

375
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,250
What does that paper say?

376
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:03,460
We have placed bombs
all over your city

377
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:05,360
you will give Muhammad to us.

378
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:08,830
Celebrities want Muhammad for
his power to not be ridiculed.

379
00:15:09,180 --> 00:15:10,440
We want that power.

380
00:15:11,390 --> 00:15:12,100
"Hazaa."

381
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:13,660
They want his power?

382
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,340
What kind of extremists are these?

383
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:17,730
You won't believe it.

384
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,090
Our time is near!

385
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,710
Soon gingers will never
be made fun of again!

386
00:15:23,950 --> 00:15:25,810
Hazaaaaaaa!

387
00:15:26,710 --> 00:15:28,080
Where the hell do you
think you're going?

388
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:29,880
I'm through with your
stupid plans, Conner.

389
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,680
I've got better things
to do with my time!

390
00:15:33,090 --> 00:15:34,660
You're gonna walk
away from 50 mil?

391
00:15:36,090 --> 00:15:37,040
Let me by.

392
00:15:38,030 --> 00:15:40,330
You walk away now and you'll
regret it the rest of your life.

393
00:15:41,610 --> 00:15:42,590
Screw this, Conner.

394
00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:43,860
Find yourself another partner.

395
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:46,380
Then I guess I won't
tell you about your father!

396
00:15:48,670 --> 00:15:49,500
My father?

397
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,610
Thought that might
get your attention.

398
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,810
You know nothing
about your dad, right?

399
00:15:54,940 --> 00:15:55,780
I know enough.

400
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,280
My mother is a hermaphrodite.

401
00:15:57,430 --> 00:15:58,780
So she is actually my father.

402
00:15:59,340 --> 00:16:01,270
You really still
believe that garbage?

403
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,490
The people in your town
sold you that line!

404
00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:06,510
Come on, you've had to
have doubted it all along.

405
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,670
How would you know anything
about who my family is?

406
00:16:09,910 --> 00:16:13,390
Huh, I know all about the swindles
and schemes in this dead end town.

407
00:16:14,510 --> 00:16:15,650
You got lied to, kid.

408
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:17,340
By the people who
were closest to you.

409
00:16:17,530 --> 00:16:18,480
I can prove it, too.

410
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:20,900
But I'm gonna want
something in return.

411
00:16:22,270 --> 00:16:24,300
If you're making this up to keep me around,
Conner, then you better...

412
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:25,530
You just take me where I tell you.

413
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:28,420
And when you learn the truth,
you'll learn to trust me.

414
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,140
And nobody else.

415
00:16:35,140 --> 00:16:39,169
Alright. People, try to evacuate
in an orderly fashion. Jeez.

416
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,850
mayor, we do not have the resources
to deal with this situation.

417
00:16:43,060 --> 00:16:44,770
A full evacuation is impossible.

418
00:16:45,010 --> 00:16:46,920
Jesus Christ,
what are we supposed to do?

419
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,750
We have to give in to the demands!

420
00:16:49,410 --> 00:16:50,730
I'm sorry, Muhammad,

421
00:16:50,990 --> 00:16:53,120
but we're going to have to
give you over to the gingers.

422
00:16:53,370 --> 00:16:54,970
We can't hand him
over to the gingers!

423
00:16:55,150 --> 00:16:56,460
Yeah, we said we'd
take care of him!

424
00:16:56,660 --> 00:16:58,370
But our homes and
lives are at stake!

425
00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:00,580
Dad, we mad a promise. To Jesus.

426
00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:03,370
Stan, Jesus doesn't matter
where Muhammad is involved.

427
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:07,960
That'll be Tom Cruise.

428
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:13,560
Hello?

429
00:17:14,340 --> 00:17:15,990
Yeah, so what's going on?

430
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:20,860
I'm afraid we can't
give Muhammad to you.

431
00:17:21,060 --> 00:17:23,290
What'dya mean you're
not giving him to us?

432
00:17:23,430 --> 00:17:25,230
There are these ginger
fundamentalists saying

433
00:17:25,370 --> 00:17:27,450
if we don't give Muhammad to
them they're gonna bomb us.

434
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:28,370
Gingers?

435
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,130
Gingers! Oh hell no!

436
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,990
Please understand that we have
no choice here, Mr. Cruise.

437
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,980
You're gonna give Muhammad
to gingers instead of us

438
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,540
just because they are
threatening you with violence?

439
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:40,670
Wul, yeah.

440
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,380
Oh we can play that game too!

441
00:17:42,630 --> 00:17:44,810
You wanna see violence, you got it!

442
00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:47,660
God damn stupid assholes!

443
00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:48,730
They wanna play rough?

444
00:17:48,910 --> 00:17:49,500
Okay!

445
00:17:49,690 --> 00:17:51,800
Spielberg go and get
some automatic rifles!!

446
00:17:51,950 --> 00:17:54,240
We'll go in there and we're
gonna take Muhammad by force

447
00:17:54,430 --> 00:17:55,550
and we're gonna show 'em.

448
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:56,090
Tom!

449
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:56,660
Tom!

450
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,940
We can't be seen getting violent.

451
00:17:59,090 --> 00:18:00,920
Yeah, that would kill
all our careers!

452
00:18:01,070 --> 00:18:02,630
But the only way we're
gonna get Muhammad now

453
00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:05,400
is by getting just as violent
with South Park as the gingers!

454
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,330
Fine. Then let's have her do it.

455
00:18:07,950 --> 00:18:08,660
Her who?

456
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,340
You know, her.

457
00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:15,420
Oh, right, her!

458
00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:28,680
There she is, Tom.

459
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:31,570
Barbara streisand.

460
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:40,150
My God!

461
00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:42,030
She's even more terrifying
than I remembered.

462
00:18:42,380 --> 00:18:45,140
Tom, Barbara streisand hasn't
been active for a long time.

463
00:18:45,530 --> 00:18:46,910
Are we sure we wanna do this?

464
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,650
Mrs. streisand was blown apart
in the town of South Park.

465
00:18:50,260 --> 00:18:52,560
She's probably more angry
at that town than any of us.

466
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:54,190
Power her up.

467
00:18:54,410 --> 00:18:56,130
Release the kiken!

468
00:19:11,380 --> 00:19:12,330
Bar-boora!

469
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,240
Barrr-boora!

470
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,680
Ichiban kirai na hito.

471
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,670
Bar-boora, bar-boora!

472
00:19:22,070 --> 00:19:25,160
Hana ga ookii!

473
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:27,850
Hey Barbara!

474
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:30,030
It's me, Rob reiner.

475
00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:37,390
Listen, babs.

476
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,240
We're taking on the town of South
park and we really need your help.

477
00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:43,810
We figured you're pissed off at
South Park too, right, Mrs. streisand?

478
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,750
Oh she's pissed alright.

479
00:19:56,550 --> 00:19:57,130
Eric?

480
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:58,560
What are you doing here?

481
00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:01,220
Did you all lie to me?

482
00:20:01,830 --> 00:20:03,090
All of you, in that room.

483
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:05,380
When you told me my
mother was my father.

484
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:08,190
What? No, Eric.

485
00:20:08,390 --> 00:20:10,430
Are you still worried about
that ol' issue, I mean...

486
00:20:10,570 --> 00:20:11,310
I don't trust you.

487
00:20:11,690 --> 00:20:13,000
I want to talk to Mr. Hat.

488
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,270
Eric, I haven't used Mr. Hat
in a long time and...

489
00:20:16,930 --> 00:20:20,540
I said get Mr. Hat!

490
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:24,230
Put it on.

491
00:20:28,340 --> 00:20:29,230
Do the voice.

492
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:31,250
Hello kids!

493
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:32,480
It's me, Mr. Hat.

494
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,440
Good to see you, Hat.

495
00:20:35,570 --> 00:20:36,540
Hell of a night, isn't it?

496
00:20:37,740 --> 00:20:39,890
I... I don't believe I know you.

497
00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:41,260
The name's Mitch Conner.

498
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,240
Flew the same division
as you back in Saigon.

499
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:44,990
Eric, this is silly.

500
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,080
Why don't we just stop...

501
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:48,480
Keep your hand up.

502
00:20:50,110 --> 00:20:51,390
Alright, gingers.

503
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,210
We have Muhammad for you.

504
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,440
Now hand over the detonators.

505
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:57,360
Nuh-uh!

506
00:20:57,530 --> 00:20:59,740
First you gotta prove that's
still Muhammad in there.

507
00:20:59,930 --> 00:21:01,680
Have him step out
of the bear costume.

508
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:03,540
Ooohh.

509
00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:05,950
Dude, we can't do that.

510
00:21:06,270 --> 00:21:09,400
Show us it's Muhammad or
South Park is finished!

511
00:21:10,110 --> 00:21:13,320
Dammit Mitch, you're asking questions
that shouldn't be answered.

512
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:14,650
So you admit it.

513
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:15,730
There was a cover up.

514
00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:18,080
No, Mr. Hat, don't say anymore!

515
00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:18,930
Yeah!

516
00:21:19,110 --> 00:21:19,970
Tell him what you know!

517
00:21:20,130 --> 00:21:20,960
Alright, Eric.

518
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,860
Your father was in the room
the day of your DNA test.

519
00:21:25,430 --> 00:21:28,290
But the results were tampered.

520
00:21:28,340 --> 00:21:31,000
By who? Goddamnit, Garrison.

521
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,480
Who is my father?

522
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