1
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:40,842
Friends, we gather in this place to mourn the victims of yesterday's tragedy.

2
00:00:40,843 --> 00:00:46,516
...nine good people who were run over in the street by an elderly woman driver.

3
00:00:47,098 --> 00:00:47,484
Oh God, memorial services are sooo boring.

4
00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:52,992
You insensitive asshole, Cartman! Nine people died!

5
00:00:53,023 --> 00:00:56,484
Yeah, but like, eight of them were hippies. Mostly hippies go to farmer's markets. 

6
00:00:56,619 --> 00:00:57,763
Mostly

7
00:00:57,798 --> 00:01:01,496
It is sometimes hard, in times like these, to understand God's way. 

8
00:01:01,497 --> 00:01:08,867
Why would he allow nine innocent people to be run down in the prime of their lives by a senior citizen who, perhaps, shouldn't be driving?

9
00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:12,977
It is then that we must understand, God's sense of humor is very different from our own. 

10
00:01:12,978 --> 00:01:16,498
He does not laugh at the simple "man walks into a bar" joke. 

11
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No, God needs complex irony and subtle farcical twists that seem macabre to you and me.

12
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All that we can hope for is that God got his good laugh and a tragedy such as this will never happen again.

13
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Look out!!

14
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:35,153
Huh? Was that a stop sign back there?

15
00:01:48,132 --> 00:01:50,483
Hey Dad, how come they let old people drive?

16
00:01:50,518 --> 00:01:54,155
Well, Stan, it's a very fragile issue.

17
00:01:54,190 --> 00:01:56,024
But they kill people.

18
00:01:56,059 --> 00:02:01,414
Sometimes, yes, but senior citizens have to be dealt with very gingerly, Stan.

19
00:02:01,415 --> 00:02:03,761
We can't just take their licenses away.

20
00:02:03,828 --> 00:02:07,379
I'll be God-damned if they think they can take my license away!

21
00:02:07,414 --> 00:02:08,412
Oooh, hi Dad.

22
00:02:08,447 --> 00:02:12,670
I heard what you said! You wanna take drivin' privileges away from seniors!

23
00:02:12,671 --> 00:02:17,848
Well let me tell you something, peckerface! I worked fifty five years in the steel mill!

24
00:02:17,849 --> 00:02:19,008
Yes Dad.

25
00:02:19,043 --> 00:02:21,562
-And I flew Spitfires over Germany in World War II!
-Yes I know.

26
00:02:21,795 --> 00:02:27,130
And I will be God-damned if the government thinks it can step in and take away my right to drive!

27
00:02:27,741 --> 00:02:31,095
I think old people should have rights, Grandpa. I just don't wanna die.

28
00:02:43,485 --> 00:02:47,003
Damnit Mona, this isn't the fastest way to Country Kitchen Buffet!

29
00:02:47,038 --> 00:02:50,467
No, but it's the shortest. I save the most gas that way.

30
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,868
You save the most gas if you take the highway to Country Kitchen Buffet!

31
00:03:02,903 --> 00:03:06,269
Less miles means less gas, you old fool.

32
00:03:10,147 --> 00:03:12,669
There's Country Kitchen right there!

33
00:03:12,704 --> 00:03:13,470
Where?

34
00:03:13,505 --> 00:03:15,293
Right there! You're gonna miss it!

35
00:03:21,425 --> 00:03:23,921
Is this the parking lot?

36
00:03:23,956 --> 00:03:25,063
I think so.

37
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,720
Another death tonight by a senior citizen motorist.

38
00:03:30,721 --> 00:03:36,104
Carl Zorn of Pine Junction was killed instantly when struck by a vehicle driven by Pete and Lydia Malman,

39
00:03:36,105 --> 00:03:38,646
who were trying to find Country Kitchen Buffet.

40
00:03:38,647 --> 00:03:42,426
This latest tragedy comes only two days after the accident in Deer Creek,

41
00:03:42,427 --> 00:03:46,932
where three construction workers and a bulldozer  were run down by senior citizen Paul Thom , 

42
00:03:46,933 --> 00:03:49,468
who was trying to find Country Kitchen Buffet.

43
00:03:49,469 --> 00:03:54,723
Public outcry is forcing the DMV to consider suspending the licenses of all seniors over seventy,

44
00:03:54,724 --> 00:03:57,285
though no decision has yet to be made.

45
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:04,436
Seniors of South Park, I don't know about you, but I am mad as hell!

46
00:04:04,471 --> 00:04:05,226
Yeah!

47
00:04:06,853 --> 00:04:12,092
I'm sick of having my mental condition come into question!

48
00:04:14,438 --> 00:04:20,025
We need to let everyone know we're pissed off, and we're not gonna take it anymore!

49
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,580
Yeah! Yeah! That's right, Pete!

50
00:04:22,615 --> 00:04:25,478
That's right! Now,

51
00:04:25,479 --> 00:04:30,204
...can anybody remember what we're pissed off about?

52
00:04:35,580 --> 00:04:41,559
Now, remember we're all pissed about something and uh... that's why we had this meeting,

53
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,051
but I... can't for the life of me re-

54
00:04:44,086 --> 00:04:49,821
Oooo. Was it the kids skateboarding on the sidewalks? No?

55
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:53,657
Oh, I remember! They're gonna take our licenses away!

56
00:04:53,692 --> 00:04:55,690
Yeah! Yeah! That's right!

57
00:04:55,725 --> 00:04:58,883
That's right! They're gonna try and take our licenses away!

58
00:04:58,884 --> 00:05:01,675
And I, for one, am mad as hell!

59
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:04,682
Me too! Yeah, that's right! And mine too!

60
00:05:04,717 --> 00:05:09,471
I'm sick of having my mental condition come into question!

61
00:05:09,506 --> 00:05:12,176
So now, what are we gonna do about it?

62
00:05:13,532 --> 00:05:14,823
Do about what?

63
00:05:14,858 --> 00:05:17,474
They're gonna take our licenses away.

64
00:05:17,509 --> 00:05:19,983
They are?? They can't do that!

65
00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:24,889
That's right. So you know what I think we should do?

66
00:05:24,890 --> 00:05:28,494
I think we should have a senior citizens' meeting!

67
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:33,739
Get all the senior together a the community center and unite!

68
00:05:34,393 --> 00:05:35,756
Great idea, Marvin!

69
00:05:35,791 --> 00:05:39,356
Wait, ah I think we're having that meeting right now.

70
00:05:40,153 --> 00:05:42,642
...Oh, right, this is the meeting.

71
00:05:42,677 --> 00:05:46,471
Right. To get those damn kids to stop skateboarding on the sidewalks!

72
00:05:46,506 --> 00:05:49,509
Yeah! Yeah! That's right! Someone's gotta stop them!

73
00:05:51,958 --> 00:05:53,197
Sharon, have you seen Dad?

74
00:05:53,232 --> 00:05:57,631
He's not here, hun. He's having a meeting with all the seniors in town at the community center.

75
00:05:58,431 --> 00:06:00,748
Oh.  Wait a minute. 

76
00:06:00,749 --> 00:06:06,788
If all the seniors in town are at a meeting, that means that when the meeting gets out...

77
00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:10,753
Every senior in town will be driving home...

78
00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:13,523
At the same time.

79
00:06:14,161 --> 00:06:17,223
Oh My God!

80
00:06:18,783 --> 00:06:21,688
Get inside! Get inside!

81
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:26,429
Seniors' meeting getting out! Get off the streets!

82
00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:33,533
All right, great meeting everyone. Let's do it again sometime.

83
00:06:34,221 --> 00:06:36,093
So long, everybody.

84
00:06:36,467 --> 00:06:37,699
Goodbye, Missy.

85
00:06:41,206 --> 00:06:44,849
Get off the streets! Get off the streets!

86
00:06:45,792 --> 00:06:48,082
Old people are driving!

87
00:06:51,555 --> 00:06:53,946
Gerald! Where are the boys?!

88
00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:54,992
We've gotta get out of here!

89
00:06:55,027 --> 00:06:57,029
The boys, Gerald! Where are they?!

90
00:06:57,064 --> 00:07:00,551
They, they're... they're playing street hockey!

91
00:07:00,872 --> 00:07:03,727
Oh My God!!

92
00:07:04,503 --> 00:07:06,686
With just ten seconds to go, the offense makes its move.

93
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:09,044
Marsh heads for the goal and paases the ball to the poor kid.

94
00:07:09,045 --> 00:07:13,651
The poor kid hands it out to the Jew! The Jew shoots. Awww, and the shot is blocked again

95
00:07:13,652 --> 00:07:16,447
...proving once and for all that Jews cannot play hockey!

96
00:07:16,482 --> 00:07:18,816
It isn't fair. Cartman's fatter than the goal.

97
00:07:18,851 --> 00:07:20,859
I'm not fat. I just have a sweet hockey body.

98
00:07:20,894 --> 00:07:23,985
GET OFF THE STREETS!  GET OFF THE STREETS!

99
00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:26,749
Dude, look!

100
00:07:26,784 --> 00:07:30,685
GET OFF... THE STREETS! GET OFF THE STREETS!

101
00:07:32,257 --> 00:07:33,308
What is that?

102
00:07:33,309 --> 00:07:33,767
I don't know.

103
00:07:33,802 --> 00:07:38,093
GET OFF... GET STRAIGHT OFF THE STREET!

104
00:07:38,474 --> 00:07:40,194
Dude, is that your dad?

105
00:07:40,229 --> 00:07:40,839
I think so.

106
00:07:40,874 --> 00:07:42,935
Looks like Stan's dad's been hittin' the bottle again.

107
00:07:42,970 --> 00:07:44,549
-STREETS!! OFF-

108
00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:46,423
What is he saying?

109
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:47,138
I can't understand him.

110
00:07:48,544 --> 00:07:52,724
Calm down! We cannot understand you!

111
00:07:52,759 --> 00:07:55,079
(Ohhhhh, look!)

112
00:07:57,337 --> 00:07:58,828
(You guys!)

113
00:07:58,863 --> 00:08:00,543
-Oh Jesus!
-Old people!

114
00:08:00,578 --> 00:08:01,320
Come on!

115
00:08:04,879 --> 00:08:06,086
Oh God, they're coming!

116
00:08:07,164 --> 00:08:08,531
Get over there! Stay low!

117
00:08:09,337 --> 00:08:11,307
Why are they all out driving at the same time?

118
00:08:19,223 --> 00:08:21,005
It's okay, boys. They're gone. 

119
00:08:21,006 --> 00:08:23,141
Let's just lay low for a minute until we can find-

120
00:08:25,190 --> 00:08:27,569
I don't remember there being a building here.

121
00:08:27,604 --> 00:08:28,525
RUN!

122
00:08:32,181 --> 00:08:34,722
I told you to turn left, Larry.

123
00:08:34,757 --> 00:08:36,891
Get up the stairs! Up the stairs!

124
00:08:37,459 --> 00:08:38,947
Come on! Come on!!

125
00:08:38,982 --> 00:08:40,064
Aah! There's another one!

126
00:08:42,094 --> 00:08:44,907
Excuse me, is this Costello Avenue?

127
00:08:46,477 --> 00:08:47,741
In here!

128
00:08:54,171 --> 00:08:56,152
They're not gonna stop until we're all dead!

129
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:57,365
Quiet! Keep quiet!

130
00:08:58,355 --> 00:08:59,491
Dad, I'm scared.

131
00:08:59,526 --> 00:09:03,028
Just, keep your voices down. We'll stay the night in here.

132
00:09:03,029 --> 00:09:04,649
We'll stay the whole winter if we have to.

133
00:09:05,039 --> 00:09:08,203
I'm not staying the winter in this room! We just need to tell old people they can't drive anymore!

134
00:09:08,238 --> 00:09:12,347
Awgh. Stan, it's not that simple! Just relax while I find the lights.

135
00:09:12,882 --> 00:09:14,411
Here we go.

136
00:09:14,446 --> 00:09:16,148
How the hell did we get up here?

137
00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:20,555
I told you this was the wrong way!

138
00:09:23,513 --> 00:09:31,233
Tom, I'm standing outside of the Department of Motor Vehicles, where senior citizens have until three p.m. to hand over their driver's licenses.

139
00:09:31,234 --> 00:09:38,389
The new law was passed just three days after the Night of Horror, in which all seniors were out driving at the same time,

140
00:09:38,390 --> 00:09:42,284
...causing fourteen deaths and three million dollars in damage.

141
00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:46,593
Alrighty.  There we go. Next?

142
00:09:47,452 --> 00:09:51,232
It ain't right what you're doin'! I never had an accident in my life!

143
00:09:51,267 --> 00:09:54,040
That's right. You shouldn't punish all of us.

144
00:09:54,075 --> 00:09:58,542
We're sorry, but this is the only way to be sure. Next please.  There we go.

145
00:09:58,577 --> 00:10:04,135
But how am I supposed to get to the grocery store? Or the pharmacy to buy medicine?

146
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:08,107
Well, maybe you should be in a nursing home. Hmmm?

147
00:10:08,142 --> 00:10:09,836
Some of us would rather die!

148
00:10:09,871 --> 00:10:12,449
Well, we can certainly help you with that, too.

149
00:10:12,484 --> 00:10:14,804
We aren't second-class citizens!

150
00:10:14,839 --> 00:10:19,428
That's right! You can take our licenses, but you'll never take our pride!

151
00:10:19,463 --> 00:10:20,297
Yeah...

152
00:10:23,722 --> 00:10:25,172
Ooooh, isn't this great you guys?

153
00:10:25,173 --> 00:10:28,422
Being able to walk the streets now that old people are confined to their homes where they belong?

154
00:10:29,852 --> 00:10:34,168
Billy, get in the car! I need you boys to help me pick up my new Hov-Around.

155
00:10:35,021 --> 00:10:37,533
Uh, Grandpa, I don't think you should be driving.

156
00:10:37,568 --> 00:10:40,911
God-damnit Billy! You're supposed to listen to your dad, right?!

157
00:10:40,912 --> 00:10:41,912
Well I'm your dad's dad, and that means you get in this car before I tan all your hides!

158
00:10:46,856 --> 00:10:48,571
Well, look at it this way:

159
00:10:48,572 --> 00:10:52,478
Statistically speaking, we're safer inside a car with an old person driving than outside.

160
00:10:52,513 --> 00:10:53,811
My God, he's right.

161
00:10:56,329 --> 00:11:00,063
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, even though I walk through the valley of death.

162
00:11:01,669 --> 00:11:05,874
Guys, I don't know if I ever told you this, but, well, I love you guys.

163
00:11:06,898 --> 00:11:08,082
Except for you, Kyle.

164
00:11:08,117 --> 00:11:09,695
Okay, all set?

165
00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:20,462
(Oooooo my God!)

166
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,202
Ah, I think there's a police car behind you, Grandpa.

167
00:11:30,662 --> 00:11:34,117
Go around. Go around, you moron!

168
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:37,105
Blue Impala, pull your vehicle over!

169
00:11:37,140 --> 00:11:38,818
I believe that's us... thank God.

170
00:11:43,271 --> 00:11:45,105
Could I see your license, please?

171
00:11:45,140 --> 00:11:47,577
I ain't got one! You peckers took it!

172
00:11:47,612 --> 00:11:49,794
Well then, I have to take you to jail.

173
00:11:49,829 --> 00:11:54,946
You just try taking me to jail, scrotum-head! You just try!

174
00:11:55,723 --> 00:11:59,805
Stupid son of a- God damnit!

175
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,697
I just got him right here, Mr. Marsh.

176
00:12:01,732 --> 00:12:05,191
Oh brother. Well, good job, dad! Look at you now!

177
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:08,577
Oh God damnit, don't you lecture me you son of a bitch!

178
00:12:08,612 --> 00:12:11,150
You just had to be so damn stubborn, didn't you?!

179
00:12:11,185 --> 00:12:13,744
Now my son is gonna talk to me like I'm twelve.

180
00:12:13,779 --> 00:12:16,339
We're not treating you like children, Dad. All right?

181
00:12:16,340 --> 00:12:19,651
Now I think you owe Mr. Police Officer an apology. 

182
00:12:19,652 --> 00:12:22,447
Who needs to apologize, hm?
Who's the sorry-sorry?

183
00:12:22,568 --> 00:12:24,023
Kiss my sagging ass!

184
00:12:24,058 --> 00:12:28,563
Well fine. I was gonna bail you out,
but maybe you can just sit here for
a bit and think about what you did!

185
00:12:28,598 --> 00:12:32,322
Well I won't be sitting here long! I've already called the AARP!

186
00:12:32,357 --> 00:12:33,148
What's that?

187
00:12:33,183 --> 00:12:36,649
The American Association of Retired Persons!

188
00:12:36,650 --> 00:12:39,288
The largest political group in the country!

189
00:12:39,289 --> 00:12:45,110
When seniors like me are bein' descriminated against, the AARP comes and sets it right!

190
00:12:45,111 --> 00:12:48,057
And you're gonna be sorry when they get here!

191
00:12:49,863 --> 00:12:56,818
And so you see, children, Genghis Khan was a "Mongol," not to be confused with a "mongoloid"

192
00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:59,583
...like the actor, Nicholas Cage.

193
00:12:59,584 --> 00:13:02,406
Okay now, who can tell me in what

194
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:08,414
...year ...the ...first ...film by a... mongoloid...

195
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,548
That's odd.

196
00:13:11,926 --> 00:13:14,827
Those ROTC guys are way off course.

197
00:13:18,838 --> 00:13:20,332
More old people!

198
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,719
The American Association of Retired Persons.

199
00:13:22,754 --> 00:13:24,840
Stay in your seats, children. I'll be right back.

200
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:31,087
Set up a perimeter! Bring Bravo Team to Point Delta!

201
00:13:31,122 --> 00:13:33,561
Bravo Team is go.

202
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,610
Move! Move! Move!

203
00:13:36,197 --> 00:13:38,030
Let's go! Let's go!

204
00:13:38,065 --> 00:13:41,177
Uh, can I help you folks find something?  Oowww!

205
00:13:45,155 --> 00:13:46,714
Old people gone mad!

206
00:13:59,681 --> 00:14:02,819
Contact. Put your hands up, young man!

207
00:14:04,029 --> 00:14:04,969
Marvin Marsh?

208
00:14:05,004 --> 00:14:05,812
Yes?

209
00:14:05,847 --> 00:14:08,907
I'm Bill Stewart, President of the AARP.

210
00:14:08,908 --> 00:14:11,728
Hu-we've come to help the seniors in this town fight back.

211
00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:13,164
Oh, it's nice to meet ya, Bill.

212
00:14:14,218 --> 00:14:18,481
We came as fast as we could. We just had to stop by Country Kitchen Buffet first.

213
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,669
It's the nursing home! Liberate our comrades!

214
00:14:25,610 --> 00:14:30,181
There now, Mr. Johnson. We can go to the cafeteroa amd get you some creamed corn and toast. 

215
00:14:32,181 --> 00:14:33,488
Can I help you?

216
00:14:33,523 --> 00:14:34,475
Help this!

217
00:14:35,435 --> 00:14:35,476
The revolution is on, brother! We're taking control of the town!

218
00:14:38,841 --> 00:14:44,217
Well, alright, well it's about damn time!
Hey everyone, we're taking the town.

219
00:14:49,075 --> 00:14:51,551
Seniors, we're taking the town over.

220
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,261
The revolution is on!

221
00:14:54,025 --> 00:14:55,328
The revolution?

222
00:14:55,363 --> 00:14:58,060
Oh, I'd better get my other sweater.

223
00:14:59,116 --> 00:15:03,561
Mrs. Wyland, seniors are taking over the town. Would you like a gun?

224
00:15:03,596 --> 00:15:05,034
Oh, I suppose so.

225
00:15:05,069 --> 00:15:06,711
What the hell is going on?!

226
00:15:06,712 --> 00:15:08,862
Shut your piehole and get over there!

227
00:15:09,899 --> 00:15:11,225
Randy, what is this?

228
00:15:11,260 --> 00:15:14,179
Hey! You are now under the authority of the AARP!

229
00:15:15,753 --> 00:15:19,054
Ha! There you go, Mr. Smartmouth! Look at you now!

230
00:15:19,089 --> 00:15:20,512
Dad, what are you doing??

231
00:15:20,547 --> 00:15:25,166
The AARP is gonna help us take this town until we get our licenses back!

232
00:15:25,201 --> 00:15:28,714
Yeah, and we're gonna ask for more money in Medi-Care, too!

233
00:15:28,749 --> 00:15:29,583
That's right.

234
00:15:29,618 --> 00:15:30,217
Yeah.

235
00:15:30,252 --> 00:15:31,517
Have you all got Alzheimer's?

236
00:15:31,518 --> 00:15:32,518
The-they're not gonna listen to a bunch of whacked out senior citizens.

237
00:15:35,029 --> 00:15:39,910
Heh?? We'll tell them if they don't give us our demands, we'll start killin' hostages!

238
00:15:39,945 --> 00:15:42,077
Huh, right. They're gonna really believe that.

239
00:15:43,707 --> 00:15:45,622
Isn't that a little extreme, Bill?

240
00:15:45,657 --> 00:15:49,722
Heh?? No, we gotta be tough! Just like with those damned Japs!

241
00:15:49,757 --> 00:15:54,073
This is insane, Dad! You all need to stop right now before morp people get hurt>

242
00:15:54,108 --> 00:15:59,772
The time when you can tell me what to do is over, pucky-boy! We're in charge now!

243
00:16:05,859 --> 00:16:09,974
All right, we've got control of the Mayor's office and the fire station.

244
00:16:10,399 --> 00:16:14,127
Reinforcements have arrived from the nursing home in Conifer.

245
00:16:14,162 --> 00:16:17,786
Good! Hell, us senior citizens could take over the entire country!

246
00:16:17,821 --> 00:16:19,828
We've got company!

247
00:16:23,652 --> 00:16:28,079
Attention seniors: lay down your weapons and turns yourselves over!

248
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,038
Mrs. Applegate, show 'em we mean business.

249
00:16:31,810 --> 00:16:32,787
All right.

250
00:16:38,188 --> 00:16:39,681
What do you want?

251
00:16:40,932 --> 00:16:43,873
We want our licenses back!

252
00:16:43,908 --> 00:16:44,812
Yeah!

253
00:16:44,847 --> 00:16:47,978
That's right. And we want more money in Medi-Care!

254
00:16:48,013 --> 00:16:49,034
Yeah!

255
00:16:49,492 --> 00:16:53,858
And we want those damned kids to stop skateboardin' on the sidewalk!

256
00:16:53,893 --> 00:16:54,907
Yeah!

257
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:01,809
Hey Dad.

258
00:17:01,844 --> 00:17:03,972
Stan! Boys! You're safe!

259
00:17:04,007 --> 00:17:07,171
Dad, why is everyone letting old people do this? Why doesn't somebody stop them?

260
00:17:07,206 --> 00:17:09,030
They've tried to stop them, son, but... 

261
00:17:09,499 --> 00:17:11,559
...the seniors get up so early in the morning they... 

262
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,974
...get everything done before everyone else is even awake!

263
00:17:14,030 --> 00:17:16,468
They're saying something about taking over the entire country.

264
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:21,278
Yes. And now seeing how early they get up, I don't see how anyone can stop them. 

265
00:17:21,279 --> 00:17:22,894
Wait a minute. You boys!

266
00:17:22,895 --> 00:17:25,861
You get up almost as early as they do! You can fight them!

267
00:17:25,896 --> 00:17:27,724
No. Come on, Dad. Can't you guys do it?

268
00:17:28,235 --> 00:17:30,500
No, son. We... like to sleep in.

269
00:17:30,535 --> 00:17:33,194
Two hostages come front and center!

270
00:17:33,358 --> 00:17:35,589
They're coming!! Get out of here before they see you! 

271
00:17:35,590 --> 00:17:37,693
Run to the hills and find a way to fight them! Go!!

272
00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:43,683
Boys, avenger me! AVENGER ME!!

273
00:17:45,225 --> 00:17:47,476
All right, check it out. Kenny did reconnaissance on the town.

274
00:17:47,477 --> 00:17:49,887
The old people have blockades here  and here .

275
00:17:49,888 --> 00:17:52,394
The old ladies are keeping watch in towers around the perimeter,

276
00:17:52,395 --> 00:17:55,302
and the leaders along with my grandpa are most likely in the Mayor's office.

277
00:17:55,337 --> 00:17:57,601
So our only solution is to cut off their life force.

278
00:17:57,714 --> 00:17:59,014
We can't fight them, Cartman.

279
00:17:59,049 --> 00:18:01,843
No. But we can sneak into town and shut down their food supply.

280
00:18:01,844 --> 00:18:02,988
Here.

281
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,371
Country Kitchen Buffet?

282
00:18:05,406 --> 00:18:08,330
Yeah. You take out Country Kitchen Buffet, and old people won't know what to do.

283
00:18:08,365 --> 00:18:09,700
That's a retarded idea, Cartman!

284
00:18:09,735 --> 00:18:12,654
Is it? Two years ago they closed the Country Kitchen Buffet in Steamboat Springs. 

285
00:18:12,655 --> 00:18:15,177
And all the old people died of starvation in less than a week.

286
00:18:15,686 --> 00:18:17,082
Yeah, I remember hearing about that.

287
00:18:17,117 --> 00:18:20,351
Ech, even if it could work, how would we go about shutting it down?

288
00:18:20,386 --> 00:18:22,660
I think I have a plan, though we'll have to do it tonight.

289
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:28,882
We'll start by sneaking into town, cleverly disguised as black people.

290
00:18:29,458 --> 00:18:33,007
At 5:45 Kenny and Kyle split off and set a diversion on the east end of town.

291
00:18:34,618 --> 00:18:38,943
Meanwhile, Stan and I sneak into the Mayor's office and steal some of the explosives the old people have stashed.

292
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:44,892
Nine o'clock: we rendezvous at the Country Kitchen Buffet, where we strap the explosives and the timer to Kyle's chest.

293
00:18:44,893 --> 00:18:48,066
We say our triple goodbye to Kyle, and them we send him inside.

294
00:18:55,775 --> 00:19:00,317
...Yeah, or we just go to Country Kitchen Buffet and lock it from the inside so the seniors can't get in.

295
00:19:00,549 --> 00:19:02,351
Well, right, or we could always do that.

296
00:19:05,194 --> 00:19:08,555
All right everyone, round up your ammunition and get ready to move!

297
00:19:08,556 --> 00:19:10,974
We're takin' this war further out!

298
00:19:11,009 --> 00:19:12,093
All right!

299
00:19:15,026 --> 00:19:18,867
Uh, I appreciate what the AARP is tryin' to do for us, but uh,

300
00:19:18,868 --> 00:19:21,593
...all we want is our licenses back.

301
00:19:21,688 --> 00:19:24,454
Heck no! This is goin' too well.

302
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,643
We're gonna take the whole country back.

303
00:19:26,644 --> 00:19:27,644
Wipe out everyone below the age of sixty five!

304
00:19:29,452 --> 00:19:31,889
Wipe 'em out?? What are you? Senile?

305
00:19:31,924 --> 00:19:35,880
Come on, everyone! It's time to plan for Phase 2!

306
00:19:37,566 --> 00:19:38,642
What the heck?

307
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:44,718
Huh? What is this?! It's 6 a.m. C-Country Kitchen should be open!

308
00:19:44,782 --> 00:19:46,988
It's not open? It has to be!

309
00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:50,072
Try a window.

310
00:19:51,512 --> 00:19:53,404
They're blocked from the inside.

311
00:19:54,163 --> 00:19:57,109
No...  Let us in! Let us in!

312
00:19:57,748 --> 00:20:01,491
Open the door! It's six a.m.

313
00:20:02,664 --> 00:20:05,690
Open the Country Kitchen Buffet for us!

314
00:20:05,725 --> 00:20:06,393
You have to let us in!

315
00:20:17,328 --> 00:20:19,764
All right everyone, area secure.

316
00:20:19,765 --> 00:20:22,304
Collect their weapons and free the hostages.

317
00:20:23,447 --> 00:20:27,613
That was a great strategy, boys. You may very well have saved this entire country.

318
00:20:27,648 --> 00:20:30,645
Whoa-ho-ho-ooh, what happened? Is it over?

319
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,811
Everything is fine. Control of the town is back to you folks.

320
00:20:34,361 --> 00:20:37,023
Country Kitchen... wha-what happened?

321
00:20:37,058 --> 00:20:38,724
Sir, what should we do with this one?

322
00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:40,245
It's up to the townspeople.

323
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,078
Well, I think he learned his lesson. Huh?

324
00:20:43,079 --> 00:20:47,832
Don't you feel silly now, Dad?
I think somebody owes us all an apology.
Yes he does.

325
00:20:47,905 --> 00:20:50,139
Oh, stop it, Dad! This is partly your fault!

326
00:20:50,174 --> 00:20:50,885
Huh?

327
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,520
Look, all Grandpa wants is not to be talked to like a child.

328
00:20:53,521 --> 00:20:57,128
I think half of what he was angry about wasn't what you were doing, but how you were doing it.

329
00:20:57,163 --> 00:20:58,017
That's right.

330
00:20:58,052 --> 00:21:01,231
And Grandpa, you should be proud that you made it through life to be a senior,

331
00:21:01,232 --> 00:21:04,750
but you should also realize that, when you're behind the wheel, you're a killing machine.

332
00:21:04,785 --> 00:21:12,139
I know. I guess sometimes us seniors need to know when to stop driving so we don't put the responsibility on our families.

333
00:21:12,174 --> 00:21:15,996
Well, I think this has been a real learning experience for the Marsh family.

334
00:21:15,997 --> 00:21:19,808
People died, but we all grew a bit. Let's just go home.

335
00:21:19,910 --> 00:21:21,545
Sure. I'll drive.

336
00:21:22,921 --> 00:21:24,409
That's our Grandpa.

337
00:21:26,277 --> 00:21:28,239
Dude, I hate my family.