1 00:01:39,498 --> 00:01:39,814 Yes? 2 00:01:40,756 --> 00:01:45,067 Hel-lo ma'am. We're going around town and offering snow-shoveling service. 3 00:01:45,337 --> 00:01:47,161 Would you like your driveway and sidewalk shoveled 4 00:01:47,366 --> 00:01:48,460 for eight thousand dollars? 5 00:01:49,266 --> 00:01:53,560 Oh well, I certainly could use some little snow-shovelers, but eight thousand dollars seems a little steep. 6 00:01:53,951 --> 00:01:54,915 How about ten dollars? 7 00:01:55,447 --> 00:01:58,318 Ooo, ouch, ma'am, please, let go of that tight grip you have on my balls! 8 00:01:59,657 --> 00:02:00,218 Ten dollars, you're breaking my balls, ma'am! 9 00:02:00,478 --> 00:02:01,679 How about fifteen dollars? 10 00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:04,266 It's a deal! All right, guys, let's get to work! 11 00:02:09,969 --> 00:02:14,207 Yeah, it's so totally awesome. Craig crapped his pants when he saw it. Yeah, sweet. 12 00:02:14,779 --> 00:02:17,787 So what's goin' on over there? Yeah, that's pretty cool. 13 00:02:19,018 --> 00:02:22,303 No way! He did not! Aw dude, that is so weak. 14 00:02:24,131 --> 00:02:24,535 What? 15 00:02:25,051 --> 00:02:26,789 You've been on your fucking phone since we started! 16 00:02:27,074 --> 00:02:27,810 Dude, I'm takin' a break. 17 00:02:28,105 --> 00:02:29,629 A break from what?! You haven't done anything! 18 00:02:29,973 --> 00:02:31,542 Kyle, how many times do we have to go through this? 19 00:02:31,770 --> 00:02:34,646 I'm the negotiator. I negotiate our price with the customers. 20 00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:36,318 All you ever do is talk about your balls! 21 00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:38,927 It works, doesn't it? Did I not just get us an extra five bucks? 22 00:02:39,341 --> 00:02:42,143 If you want your share of the money, then you're gonna shovel snow like the rest of us! 23 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:45,255 Hey! Don't boss me around, you fuckin' Jew! I will kick your ass! 24 00:02:51,124 --> 00:02:52,588 Ma'am, do you have a rag and some bandages? 25 00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:54,586 Oh goodness, what happened? 26 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,211 Shoveling accident. 27 00:02:56,749 --> 00:02:58,035 Oooh no, come on inside. 28 00:03:00,511 --> 00:03:01,704 Wait right here, I'll be right back. 29 00:03:03,415 --> 00:03:06,601 You're so lucky I have a... sore shoulder, Kyle, or I'd totally let you have it. 30 00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:08,056 Cartman, just keep your mouth shut. 31 00:03:09,007 --> 00:03:11,306 This is breaking news. Here's Anchorman Aaron Brown. 32 00:03:11,657 --> 00:03:16,136 Incredible, absolutely amazing news today. A man from the future has come 33 00:03:16,350 --> 00:03:20,093 back in time and is in a government hospital after being hit by a car. 34 00:03:21,097 --> 00:03:21,595 Whoa. 35 00:03:22,277 --> 00:03:23,438 Christina Naylon has more. 36 00:03:23,777 --> 00:03:28,392 The news is incredible, Aaron. Experts and scientists have been with the man from the future for several hours now, 37 00:03:28,621 --> 00:03:31,406 and have been able to learn that he is from the year 3045. 38 00:03:31,783 --> 00:03:35,369 His condition is stable, and speculation continues as to why he has come. 39 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,405 Has he come to deliver a cure for cancer? 40 00:03:37,707 --> 00:03:39,259 Or to fix something wrong with the past? 41 00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:43,928 Have to interrupt you there, Christina. Apparently, Brad Morgan is inside the base with breaking news. 42 00:03:44,052 --> 00:03:44,349 Brad? 43 00:03:44,608 --> 00:03:48,040 Aaron, the scientists have been able to communicate further and have uncovered 44 00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:51,119 that the man from one thousand years in the future has come to our time... 45 00:03:51,362 --> 00:03:53,721 looking for work. Now, uh he has said 46 00:03:53,872 --> 00:03:58,581 that the future is so overwhelmingly overpopulated that there are simply no jobs in his time, 47 00:03:59,038 --> 00:03:59,938 and so he built a time portal 48 00:04:00,134 --> 00:04:02,931 and has come back to 21st century America, uh to find a job here. 49 00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:05,982 Heheh, it's absolutely astounding. He came back here for work? 50 00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:10,421 Huh... that's right, Aaron. Hi-his plan is to get a job here, in our time, 51 00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:13,132 so that he can put the money he earns into a savings account, 52 00:04:13,413 --> 00:04:17,633 uh, which will earn interest, and by the year 3045 be worth billions of dollars, 53 00:04:18,003 --> 00:04:20,874 uh which of course in the future will be worth only hundres of dollars, 54 00:04:21,181 --> 00:04:22,990 but uh enough, he says, to feed his family. 55 00:04:23,131 --> 00:04:27,252 And now I understand we're going to Harrison Moore, uh, for an explanation on how the time portal works. 56 00:04:27,656 --> 00:04:27,863 Harrison? 57 00:04:28,488 --> 00:04:33,209 Aaron, I'm standing at the time border which scientists say follow Terminator rules. 58 00:04:33,654 --> 00:04:35,951 That is, it's one way only and you can't go back. 59 00:04:36,369 --> 00:04:38,968 This is in contrast, say, to Back To The Future rules, 60 00:04:39,305 --> 00:04:43,657 where back and forth is possible, and of course, Timerider rules, which are just plain silly. 61 00:04:44,060 --> 00:04:47,178 Anyway, it appears that the man from the future is here to stay. 62 00:04:50,002 --> 00:04:52,125 Mom, Dad! Did you see? They found a man from the future! 63 00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:53,933 We know, Stanley. We've been watching. 64 00:04:54,679 --> 00:05:00,556 If you're just joining us, a man from over two thousand years into the future has come through a one-way time portal looking for work. 65 00:05:01,007 --> 00:05:03,376 Uh, the President is expected to give an announcement at any time. 66 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:08,583 Breaking news here at the time portal, Aaron. It appears that another person from the future has just arrived! 67 00:05:09,511 --> 00:05:16,092 It looks as if the job at Wendy's did work for the original immigrant; this second arrivee claims that man's family is now much better off, 68 00:05:16,294 --> 00:05:17,896 and wishes the same for his family. 69 00:05:21,647 --> 00:05:23,202 There you go. All set, sweetie? 70 00:05:23,636 --> 00:05:27,342 Mom, can we go try to see the people from the future? I have a bunch of questions I wanna ask 'em. 71 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:32,160 I'm sure a lot of people do, hon. It's pretty exciting, isn't it? Now, you just get some sleep. 72 00:05:32,496 --> 00:05:33,024 You've had a busy day. 73 00:05:34,097 --> 00:05:34,830 Goodnight, sweetie. 74 00:05:35,111 --> 00:05:35,705 Night, Mom. 75 00:05:37,735 --> 00:05:41,079 Wow, two people from the future. How cool. 76 00:06:14,799 --> 00:06:15,144 Yes? 77 00:06:15,907 --> 00:06:18,142 Hello, Mrs. Landis. Would you like snow-shoveling service again today? 78 00:06:19,168 --> 00:06:23,014 Ooo, oh dear, I'm sorry boys, but I've already hired someone else to do it. 79 00:06:23,434 --> 00:06:24,134 What?? Who?? 80 00:06:24,526 --> 00:06:27,941 One of those immigrants from the future. He said he would do it for twenty-five cents. 81 00:06:28,413 --> 00:06:30,264 Twenty-five cents? Well that's not even worth it. 82 00:06:31,136 --> 00:06:32,660 All right guys, come on. Let's go to the next house. 83 00:06:35,016 --> 00:06:35,434 Dude. 84 00:06:41,245 --> 00:06:42,135 Son of a bitch! 85 00:06:42,937 --> 00:06:45,944 Still more immigrants from the future arrived at the time border today, 86 00:06:46,326 --> 00:06:48,757 some even bringing their entire families. the purplish 87 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:53,725 goo that they have on their bodies when they arrive is an ectoplasmic side effect of the time-travel process. 88 00:06:54,222 --> 00:06:58,437 This is all giving scientists a great opportunity to learn even more about American life in the future. 89 00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:00,460 Chris Holt joins us now. Chris? 90 00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:03,736 Yes, there are incredible things we're learning about Americans in the future, 91 00:07:03,986 --> 00:07:05,514 Aaron. Eh it appears that in the future, 92 00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:09,951 Americans have evolved into a hairless uniform mix of all races. 93 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:14,282 They are all one color, which is a yellowy light-brownish whitish color. 94 00:07:14,826 --> 00:07:17,446 Uh it seems race is no longer an issue in the future, 95 00:07:17,679 --> 00:07:22,880 because all ethnicities have mixed into one. Perhaps most interesting is how this has affected their language. 96 00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:26,507 The people in the future speak a complete mix of English, 97 00:07:26,724 --> 00:07:30,762 Chinese, Turkish and, indeed, all world languages, which sounds something like this: 98 00:07:32,954 --> 00:07:33,926 Back to you, Aaron. 99 00:07:34,267 --> 00:07:37,578 Apparently the people from the future are having a pretty easy time finding work. 100 00:07:37,945 --> 00:07:39,598 Since they offer to work for such low wages, 101 00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,663 they're being hired all over America. 102 00:07:43,448 --> 00:07:45,840 This is bullcrap! I ain't standin' for this! 103 00:07:46,105 --> 00:07:50,872 All right, folks, my name is Darryl Weathers and I'm with the Construction Workers' Union. 104 00:07:51,415 --> 00:07:54,257 I work with a lot of fine men who have families to feed. 105 00:07:54,602 --> 00:07:56,768 Now I don't know about you all, but we worked long and 106 00:07:56,928 --> 00:07:59,981 hard to get our pay up to a level where we could make a decent living. 107 00:08:00,631 --> 00:08:06,091 And now these people from the future are showin' up and offerin' to do the same work for next to nothin'! 108 00:08:06,698 --> 00:08:07,714 They took our jobs!! 109 00:08:11,215 --> 00:08:15,256 We're in the moving business! Fourteen years we've been workin' our butts off! 110 00:08:15,599 --> 00:08:18,231 Now these future folk come in and we can't get work nowhere! 111 00:08:18,567 --> 00:08:20,163 They took our jobs! 112 00:08:20,481 --> 00:08:21,297 They took your jobs! 113 00:08:23,374 --> 00:08:29,204 Well what about us in the fast-food business?! The restaurants are firing us 'cause the future people work for a lot less! 114 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,271 They took our jobs!! 115 00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,409 They took your jobs! 116 00:08:35,911 --> 00:08:39,019 It's affecting kids too! Me and my friends started our own snow-shoveling business. 117 00:08:39,382 --> 00:08:40,888 We were trying to be responsible and make money, 118 00:08:41,114 --> 00:08:44,097 you know? But then the people came along and, and now we're out of work too! 119 00:08:46,733 --> 00:08:48,394 Oh, they took our jobs!! 120 00:08:48,708 --> 00:08:49,898 They took yer jobs!! 121 00:09:22,956 --> 00:09:25,401 Stanley, it's almost eight o'clock. Where have you been? 122 00:09:25,936 --> 00:09:28,792 I was at a rally to protest all the immigrants from the future coming in and tryin' tuh- 123 00:09:29,953 --> 00:09:33,040 Oh yes, the laundry machine is down in the basement and our son is home. 124 00:09:33,226 --> 00:09:34,338 Could you please set the table for dinner? 125 00:09:36,969 --> 00:09:37,428 Who is that? 126 00:09:37,967 --> 00:09:39,487 That's our new housekeeper, Mrs. Gruhd. 127 00:09:39,836 --> 00:09:41,981 She's gonna help around the house on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 128 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:43,966 And she'll do it for ten cents an hour. 129 00:09:44,328 --> 00:09:47,097 Oh, but that's the problem! Those goobacks are taking our jobs! 130 00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:48,191 What?? 131 00:09:48,513 --> 00:09:49,183 Oh my God! 132 00:09:49,758 --> 00:09:52,763 Stan Marsh, how dare you use that time-bashing slur?! 133 00:09:53,263 --> 00:09:54,329 Who taught you to talk like that?! 134 00:09:54,988 --> 00:09:56,539 Well dude, they are taking people's jobs away. 135 00:09:57,050 --> 00:10:00,333 They're only taking the small menial jobs that nobody else really wants to do. 136 00:10:00,736 --> 00:10:01,601 I wanted my job! 137 00:10:02,522 --> 00:10:06,433 Hey, Stanley, you need to understand something: Those people from the future have had a hard life! 138 00:10:06,924 --> 00:10:09,687 Where they come from is dirty and overpopulated and poor! 139 00:10:10,169 --> 00:10:14,602 You can't even imagine the kind of depression they come from! So for us, who have everything sooo good, 140 00:10:14,857 --> 00:10:16,803 to judge them, is wrong! Do you understand?! 141 00:10:17,599 --> 00:10:19,305 Next time you think about calling them goobacks, 142 00:10:19,718 --> 00:10:23,105 you might just wanna stop for a second and think about how crappy the future really is! 143 00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:26,286 That's right! We're not raising our son to be an ignorant timecist. 144 00:10:26,672 --> 00:10:27,403 Timecist? 145 00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:29,536 You know, a racist, but against people from the- 146 00:10:29,734 --> 00:10:30,700 People from the future. Right, got it. 147 00:10:31,023 --> 00:10:34,931 All right, good. Now, let's all go eat some of Mrs. Gruhd's great future cooking. 148 00:10:35,948 --> 00:10:39,237 And now, here is Bill O'- Reilly. 149 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:45,029 Welcome welcome to the No-Spin Zone, all right? And what we're talkin' about today are the immigrants from the future. 150 00:10:45,399 --> 00:10:45,822 All right? 151 00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:49,936 Now, most people are more than happy to give a helping hand to these people who obviously need it. 152 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:50,561 All right? 153 00:10:50,975 --> 00:10:54,070 But others are starting to say that the time portal should be closed off. 154 00:10:54,557 --> 00:10:55,055 All right? 155 00:10:55,478 --> 00:10:58,392 Now, I've got two guests with me tonight who have opposing views on the matter. 156 00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:02,225 On my right is pissed-off white-trash redneck conservative. 157 00:11:02,751 --> 00:11:03,683 Thanks for having me, Bill. 158 00:11:04,218 --> 00:11:07,061 And on my left is aging hippie liberal douche. 159 00:11:07,447 --> 00:11:07,939 Hello. 160 00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:12,426 Now, pissed-off redneck, you say we shouldn't allow anyone else through the time portal, 161 00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:12,905 aright? 162 00:11:13,202 --> 00:11:20,136 You're Goddamned right! These people from the future are takin' all the work away from us decent present-day Americans! 163 00:11:20,732 --> 00:11:22,727 They took our jobs! 164 00:11:23,157 --> 00:11:24,561 They took our jobs! 165 00:11:25,389 --> 00:11:27,900 Those jobs belong to people from the present! 166 00:11:28,305 --> 00:11:31,008 Aright. What say you, aging hippie liberal douche 167 00:11:31,557 --> 00:11:35,489 Heh it's typical for conservatives rednecks like these to view the immigrants as the problem, 168 00:11:35,836 --> 00:11:36,545 heh, but really, 169 00:11:36,740 --> 00:11:41,918 the problem is America. It is our greedy multinational corporations that keep everyone else in poverty. 170 00:11:42,190 --> 00:11:46,265 Your ancestors came to America as immigrants. What right do you have to turn these people away? 171 00:11:47,046 --> 00:11:48,344 Aright, redneck, your rebuttal? 172 00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:52,699 They took our jobs! 173 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,604 They took our jobs! 174 00:11:55,098 --> 00:11:56,541 Too-kourderb! 175 00:11:59,982 --> 00:12:05,989 All right, children, the school board has mandated that I must now teach class in both present-day English and Futurespeak. 176 00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:07,454 What?! 177 00:12:08,027 --> 00:12:13,105 So, with that in mind, let's continue our lessons on verbs. Remember that there are transitive verbs such as 178 00:12:13,627 --> 00:12:18,144 "The boy threw the red ball," which in Futurespeak of course, is 179 00:12:20,552 --> 00:12:21,263 Everyone say it with me? 180 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,763 Aaand there are intransitive verbs, such as 181 00:12:30,413 --> 00:12:37,223 "The 11:15 bus from Denver arrived twelve hours late. " Or in Futurespeak, "Vvut." 182 00:12:38,684 --> 00:12:39,130 "Vvut." 183 00:12:40,157 --> 00:12:44,291 Dude, hold on! This is bullcrap! If they wanna live in our time, then they should learn our language! 184 00:12:44,656 --> 00:12:45,105 Yeah! 185 00:12:45,548 --> 00:12:45,861 That's right! 186 00:12:46,279 --> 00:12:50,877 Hey now, these immigrants have a right to retain their culture. Who are we to say our language is best? 187 00:12:51,273 --> 00:12:53,913 They deserve to have an education just as much as you do. 188 00:12:54,433 --> 00:12:56,102 Thank you, aging hippie liberal douche. 189 00:12:56,608 --> 00:12:57,054 You betcha. 190 00:12:59,017 --> 00:13:00,049 Timmih. 191 00:13:00,236 --> 00:13:03,152 Okay, now let's get back to it, kids. What kind of verb is this? 192 00:13:03,972 --> 00:13:10,104 "The sad girl puts balls in her mouth." Or, in Futurespeak of course, "Gluch gligh balls glych gligh." 193 00:13:11,761 --> 00:13:12,259 This is bullcrap! 194 00:13:14,734 --> 00:13:18,430 Listen up, everybody! We've just received a reply from our congressman. 195 00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:24,611 "Dear intolerant rednecks, we sympathize with you all losing your jobs. 196 00:13:25,134 --> 00:13:27,121 However, we feel your solution of 197 00:13:27,327 --> 00:13:31,138 shooting everyone who crosses the time border is inhumane." 198 00:13:31,820 --> 00:13:32,221 What? 199 00:13:32,438 --> 00:13:33,078 That's ridiculous! 200 00:13:33,973 --> 00:13:34,252 They can't do that! 201 00:13:34,483 --> 00:13:35,103 That was a good idea! 202 00:13:35,461 --> 00:13:40,977 So it appears the government ain't gonna help us! Which means we gotta take matters into our own hands! 203 00:13:41,269 --> 00:13:46,611 The only way to stop people from the future is to stop the future from happening! 204 00:13:47,016 --> 00:13:53,096 Hey that's right! If there is no future, then there'll be no people from the future to come back and take our jobs! 205 00:13:53,548 --> 00:13:54,601 Take rjurbs 206 00:13:55,205 --> 00:13:59,929 All right! So, any ideas how we can stop the future from happening? 207 00:14:02,714 --> 00:14:11,276 How about we cause more global warming, so that in the future, the polar ice caps melt, and and it ushers in a new ice age? 208 00:14:14,634 --> 00:14:18,083 How the hell is global warming gonna cause an ice age?! 209 00:14:18,674 --> 00:14:23,634 Well you know, the... global warming could bring on like a climate shift or somethin'? 210 00:14:23,978 --> 00:14:28,509 Chet, you are a fuckin' retard, you know that?! Even if global warming were real, 211 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,380 which all proven scientific data shows it isn't, 212 00:14:31,784 --> 00:14:37,899 it would take millions of years for a climate shift to happen! You think an ice age can just happen all of a sudden-like? 213 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,042 Well I was just tryin' to be helpful. 214 00:14:40,452 --> 00:14:44,448 Well help yourself to a fuckin' science book, 'cause you're talkin' like a fuckin' retard! 215 00:14:45,026 --> 00:14:48,231 Now, come on people, we've got to think! Damnit, they took our jaorbs! 216 00:14:48,824 --> 00:14:49,790 They took our jobs! 217 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:22,933 Aw, dude. 218 00:15:24,471 --> 00:15:25,459 Gaur da'ka? 219 00:15:26,174 --> 00:15:27,722 Can you speak in present-day English please? 220 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:31,690 Uh oh... Can I help... you? 221 00:15:32,824 --> 00:15:34,904 Uh yeah, I want a double cheeseburger and fries. 222 00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:38,067 Chicken sandwich? 223 00:15:39,298 --> 00:15:41,363 No, a double cheeseburger and fries! 224 00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:42,938 A cheeg- fry? 225 00:15:43,304 --> 00:15:43,632 What?! 226 00:15:44,191 --> 00:15:44,624 A cheeg- fry? 227 00:15:45,032 --> 00:15:46,162 We can't understand you, asshole! 228 00:15:51,813 --> 00:15:52,200 Can I help you? 229 00:15:53,231 --> 00:15:54,859 I'm trying to order a double cheeseburger! 230 00:15:56,078 --> 00:15:57,170 Chicken sandwich? 231 00:15:58,228 --> 00:15:59,926 No, it's not a chicken sandwich! 232 00:15:59,946 --> 00:16:04,264 I want a Goddamned cheeseburger and some Goddamned fries you fucking goobacks! 233 00:16:05,068 --> 00:16:06,727 Stan Marsh! 234 00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:08,661 Aw-awwww. 235 00:16:10,958 --> 00:16:14,847 Come on, people, think! How are we gonna stop these immigrants from takin' our jobs! 236 00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:21,899 Hey, I got an idea. Uh maybe we should all take off all our clothes, scramble into a big pile and start gettin' gay with each other. 237 00:16:25,249 --> 00:16:26,104 Did you say "get gay"? 238 00:16:27,185 --> 00:16:29,514 Hey yeah. Well that's not a bad idea! 239 00:16:30,182 --> 00:16:30,965 What? Gettin' gay? 240 00:16:31,945 --> 00:16:36,265 Think about it: These people are from the future, right? Well, if we can git everyone to turn queer, 241 00:16:36,633 --> 00:16:38,653 then there won't be no children to have no children, 242 00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:41,851 and the people from the future won't exist to take our jobs! 243 00:16:43,657 --> 00:16:44,555 I ain't turnin' queer. 244 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:49,376 You have to, Jimbo, or else we won't be able to stop them! They too 'r jaobs! 245 00:16:49,783 --> 00:16:50,990 Yeah, they took our jobs! 246 00:16:51,613 --> 00:16:52,334 Took our jobs! 247 00:16:52,948 --> 00:16:59,629 Let's go over to that part of town that all the future people moved into and start humpin' each other until they disappear! 248 00:17:00,003 --> 00:17:00,362 Come on! 249 00:17:02,706 --> 00:17:05,041 Come on! You want your jobs back or not?! 250 00:17:16,090 --> 00:17:22,090 All right, you future bastards! Think you can take our jubs?! Well, we'll show you! Come'ere, Earl!. 251 00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:26,748 How do you like that, gooback?! 252 00:17:30,339 --> 00:17:31,029 Come on, you guys! 253 00:17:37,876 --> 00:17:43,049 Everyone who believes in America, join in with us! We're gonna make these future bastards nonexistent! 254 00:17:47,076 --> 00:17:49,109 Aw, come on, Dad! How come I have to go to work with you? 255 00:17:49,625 --> 00:17:53,697 Because you're being grounded, Stanley! Now I don't wanna hear another word out of your intolerant mouth! 256 00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:58,025 You just sit right there, Stanley, and you thnk about what you've done! 257 00:18:00,260 --> 00:18:02,949 You'll find all the copiers and printers in the next room over and then uh- 258 00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:03,694 Hey, Mr. Nelson. 259 00:18:04,270 --> 00:18:07,400 Oh... R-Randy... Uh I'm surprised to see you here. 260 00:18:07,775 --> 00:18:08,612 Why? This is my office. 261 00:18:09,144 --> 00:18:16,058 Ooohh boy, didn't you get my phone message? Ooo, this is awkward. Well, the thing is, Randy, you've been- replaced. 262 00:18:16,817 --> 00:18:17,197 What? 263 00:18:17,631 --> 00:18:21,021 Well we found an immigrant from the future who knows geology and he offered to work for next to nothing. 264 00:18:21,595 --> 00:18:23,103 Uh, this is Mr. Glughgogawk. 265 00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:24,484 Gheglo. 266 00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:26,347 You can't be serious. 267 00:18:27,126 --> 00:18:31,676 I'm... sssorry, Randy. It's just, with all the budget cuts and all, we'll give you some time to clean out your desk. 268 00:18:32,437 --> 00:18:35,706 Follow me, Mr. Glughgogawk. I'll show you to the copy room. 269 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:42,714 Oh my God. They took my jarb!! 270 00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:44,231 They took yer jarb!! 271 00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:46,259 This is CNN. 272 00:18:46,943 --> 00:18:50,352 Breaking news at the time border. We go now live to Harrison Moore. 273 00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:55,282 Aaron, I'm standing at the time border where some kind of mass protest has broken out. 274 00:18:55,813 --> 00:19:01,090 Hundreds of men who have lost their jobs to time immigrants are here having sex with one another. 275 00:19:01,855 --> 00:19:05,118 These men have apparently sucked and screwed their way across the state 276 00:19:05,424 --> 00:19:08,413 and are now here at the time border trying to get national attention. 277 00:19:09,078 --> 00:19:14,957 These unemployed men have been having sex for several days. Joining me is their spokesperson, Randy Marsh. 278 00:19:16,070 --> 00:19:18,300 Mr. Marsh, what exactly are you trying to accomplish? 279 00:19:18,936 --> 00:19:24,626 We're doing the only thing we can do. If our government is just gonna let anybody into our time who wants to come, 280 00:19:25,059 --> 00:19:26,785 then we have to take matters into our own hands. 281 00:19:27,437 --> 00:19:32,406 We're trying to turn everyone gay so that there are no future humans! Present-day America Number One! 282 00:19:32,787 --> 00:19:33,616 Yeah America! 283 00:19:34,074 --> 00:19:34,864 Take our jobs! 284 00:19:35,635 --> 00:19:39,847 Do you really think you can get enough people to turn gay to destroy the future of humanity? 285 00:19:40,452 --> 00:19:41,695 All we can do is try, Harrison. 286 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:47,767 Trying to stop immigration is intolerant and ignorant. Those immigrants have a right to pursue happiness. 287 00:19:48,016 --> 00:19:49,676 Young man, what do you think about all this? 288 00:19:50,704 --> 00:19:53,805 I I think it's wrong to call them goobacks because they're no different from us. 289 00:19:54,413 --> 00:20:00,539 They're just humans trying to make their lives better. Look, it sucks that the immigrants' time is so crappy, 290 00:20:00,181 --> 00:20:01,798 but the cold hard truth is that if we let them all come back to our time, 291 00:20:01,922 --> 00:20:06,407 then it's just gonna make our time crappy too. Maybe the answer isn't trying to stop the future from happening, 292 00:20:06,724 --> 00:20:08,188 but making the future better. 293 00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:10,443 Huh? 294 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,772 I mean, maybe if we all commit right now to working toward a better future, 295 00:20:14,012 --> 00:20:15,480 then, then the future won't be so bad, 296 00:20:15,734 --> 00:20:17,864 and, these immigrants won't need to come back here looking for work. 297 00:20:19,698 --> 00:20:25,171 Hey. He's right. If we build for a better future, the immigrants will stay there. 298 00:20:25,871 --> 00:20:29,426 Yeah. We've got to start working towards a brighter tomorrow. 299 00:20:29,835 --> 00:20:31,073 Well what are we waiting for? 300 00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:39,968 We've got to work for a better future, we've got to join hands for tomorrow. 301 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:44,871 Take the first step and you will see the future begins with you and me. 302 00:20:47,155 --> 00:20:51,676 We can start to make a difference if we want it for our children 303 00:20:51,925 --> 00:20:56,755 Recycle that can and plant that tree, 'cause the future begins with you and me. 304 00:20:57,709 --> 00:20:58,507 Look, it's working! 305 00:21:00,144 --> 00:21:01,361 The future begins with you and me. 306 00:21:01,703 --> 00:21:02,987 The immigrants are fadin' away! 307 00:21:03,497 --> 00:21:04,009 We're doing it! 308 00:21:05,453 --> 00:21:09,721 We've got to work for a better future, we've got to join hands for tomorrow. 309 00:21:10,199 --> 00:21:12,856 Take the first step and you will see the future- 310 00:21:13,020 --> 00:21:14,860 Dude, wait wait ho, hold on. Wait a second. 311 00:21:15,162 --> 00:21:15,589 This is gay. 312 00:21:16,016 --> 00:21:16,889 This is really gay. 313 00:21:17,540 --> 00:21:20,694 Yeah, this is even gayer than all the men getting in a big pile and having sex with each other. 314 00:21:21,315 --> 00:21:23,486 Okay, sorry, my bad, e-everyone back in the pile. 315 00:21:23,933 --> 00:21:25,327 Back in the pile everyone! 316 00:21:25,746 --> 00:21:26,630 We're going back to the pile. 317 00:21:27,067 --> 00:21:27,456 Jump in! 318 00:21:27,685 --> 00:21:28,157 Come on, everybody! 319 00:21:28,348 --> 00:21:29,285 Never mind, we're going back to the pile! 320 00:21:29,619 --> 00:21:30,565 Took ur jurb! 321 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,600 WilLoW :--) January 24th, 2005