1 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,870 - Howdy-ho, you South Parketeers. - Howdy-ho! 2 00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:17,500 - I'm rootin'-tootin' Trey. - I'm pistol-slinging Matt. 3 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:21,620 - This here's Scratch. Say hi, fella. - Hi, Scratch! 4 00:00:21,790 --> 00:00:26,820 We're right excited about this next episode because it's our favorite one. 5 00:00:26,990 --> 00:00:30,760 It's called "Starvin' Marvin," and it aired on Thanksgiving. 6 00:00:30,930 --> 00:00:34,760 In it, the boys celebrate the holiday with a visitor. 7 00:00:34,930 --> 00:00:38,800 When Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving special... 8 00:00:38,970 --> 00:00:44,000 ...my first thought was, "I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston." 9 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:49,770 Cup her perky breasts in my hands and put my hand on her nice, tight buns. 10 00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:53,180 This episode teaches racial tolerance... 11 00:00:53,350 --> 00:00:56,950 ...to treat everyone equally, regardless of skin color. 12 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:01,180 It's our Indian friend Indian Companion. Say hi, kids. 13 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:06,300 - What's happening, Indian Companion? - Something coming. Grizzly bear. 14 00:01:06,470 --> 00:01:12,130 Why don't you go over and kick him in the balls? Grizzly bears like that. 15 00:01:13,910 --> 00:01:15,700 - Dumb-ass. - He's so stupid. 16 00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:19,500 Y'all sit back and have a rootin'-tootin' good time... 17 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,410 ...with "Starvin' Marvin." Yee-haw! 18 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,120 Hooray! 19 00:01:59,350 --> 00:02:01,180 Starvin' Marvin 20 00:02:04,860 --> 00:02:08,690 - That was awesome. - Would you boys like Cheesy Poofs? 21 00:02:08,860 --> 00:02:12,090 Move! The Terrance & Phillip Thanksgiving Special is on. 22 00:02:12,260 --> 00:02:14,530 - Sure. - Yeah, we want Cheesy Poofs. 23 00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:18,140 Terrance, looks like a good place to start a colony. 24 00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:22,470 It sure does, Phillip. No one will repress our religion here. 25 00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:29,040 - You stained my hat! - Did you see that? That was sweet. 26 00:02:29,220 --> 00:02:33,850 Coming up next on the special, Phillip farts on Terrance and laughs. 27 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,280 - Cool! - Now a word from our sponsor. 28 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:41,860 In Africa, children are dying, not from disease or war but from hunger. 29 00:02:42,030 --> 00:02:45,790 I'm Sally Struthers. These children are in desperate need. 30 00:02:45,970 --> 00:02:48,430 - Who's that fat chick? - Sally Struthers. 31 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,160 She was on Full House. 32 00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:54,200 Here in the middle of Africa, food is extremely scarce. 33 00:02:54,370 --> 00:02:56,860 She's not having trouble finding food. 34 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,600 - She's fatter than Cartman. - Yeah. Hey! 35 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:05,080 - Just $5 a month can sponsor a child. - That's stupid. Who'd want to do that? 36 00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:10,190 Sponsor now, and we'll send you a Teiko sports watch as a free gift. 37 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,650 - Kick-ass! - Sweet! 38 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:17,260 - I know my mom's credit-card number. - Is it waterproof? 39 00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:21,160 - Hello, is this Sally Struthers? - What did she say? 40 00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:23,890 - Shut up, butt pirate! - Ass-rammer. 41 00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:28,560 - We wanna adopt a starving Ethernopian. - When do we get the watch? 42 00:03:28,740 --> 00:03:31,730 - Just a second, fat-ass! - You vas deferens. 43 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,010 Hello? No, it's a... Vas deferens? 44 00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:42,520 - Ask if we get the watch right away. - Do we get the watch right away? 45 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,180 - She says we do. - Cool. 46 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:45,980 I get to wear it first. 47 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:52,230 - I can't wait to get our Teiko watch. - But I get to wear it first. 48 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:57,730 To honor this special time of year, we'll be doing a canned-food drive. 49 00:03:57,940 --> 00:04:01,740 Anybody know what a canned-food drive is? Yes, Eric. 50 00:04:01,910 --> 00:04:05,640 When they cut up a chick's stomach to get a baby out? 51 00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,640 That's a cesarean section. 52 00:04:07,810 --> 00:04:12,010 That's okay. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. 53 00:04:12,180 --> 00:04:17,120 It's when we collect food for people who can't afford food on Thanksgiving. 54 00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:19,450 - You mean like Kenny? - Exactly. 55 00:04:19,630 --> 00:04:23,760 Mr. Garrison, why do poor people always smell like sour milk? 56 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,690 I don't know, Eric. They just do. 57 00:04:27,230 --> 00:04:29,930 I want everyone to bring a can of food. 58 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:35,040 The mayor will divide it up amongst Kenny's family and other poor people. 59 00:04:35,210 --> 00:04:39,970 - I won't bring food. Screw them! - How about helping the less fortunate? 60 00:04:40,150 --> 00:04:44,450 Do you hear something? I think I hear flower children calling. 61 00:04:44,650 --> 00:04:49,090 This is the one time of year to care about people who can't eat. 62 00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:53,780 Isn't it enough that I pay taxes? What about the poorhouses I pay for? 63 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,430 Many would rather die than go there. 64 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,530 They should, and decrease the population. 65 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:02,100 That's enough Dickens for one day. 66 00:05:02,270 --> 00:05:06,000 - On with our lesson, right, Mr. Hat? - Right, Mr. Garrison. 67 00:05:06,170 --> 00:05:11,040 Engelbert Humperdinck was the first man on the moon. Who was the second? 68 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,010 What the hell is going on? 69 00:05:26,090 --> 00:05:28,150 You don't see that every day. 70 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:33,390 Now, once we have all the canned foods collected... 71 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,660 ...we'll need some clever way to distribute them to the poor. 72 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,100 It should be something festive. 73 00:05:39,270 --> 00:05:41,970 Mayor, we've got a very big problem. 74 00:05:42,140 --> 00:05:45,080 You're that insane genetic engineer, right? 75 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,970 Yes, and I may have made a horrible mistake. 76 00:05:48,150 --> 00:05:52,240 I was genetically engineering turkeys for Thanksgiving... 77 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,550 ...to provide food for the needy. 78 00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:58,020 Something went wrong, the turkeys broke free. 79 00:05:58,190 --> 00:06:01,590 The worst part is, they're really pissed off. 80 00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:03,350 Naturally. 81 00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:05,990 Oh, do go on. 82 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:10,660 We have to stop them, or they could destroy everything. Time is short. 83 00:06:13,470 --> 00:06:17,310 - You were saying? - They act normal, but they're evil. 84 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,140 Oh, my. 85 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:27,410 - You're not taking me seriously. - Why would you say that? 86 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:31,580 - Did it come? - Is it here? 87 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,190 I get to use it first, you guys. 88 00:06:34,490 --> 00:06:38,990 - Did our digital sports watch come? - Not yet, hon. 89 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,190 - Damn. - Hey, look, you guys. 90 00:06:41,370 --> 00:06:46,000 Now back to part two of The Terrance & Phillip Thanksgiving Special. 91 00:06:46,170 --> 00:06:49,300 - I sure am cold, Phillip. - Yes, and hungry too. 92 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:54,640 - Being a pilgrim totally sucks ass. - Gosh, I hope we don't starve. 93 00:06:55,550 --> 00:06:56,810 A squeaker! 94 00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:04,480 The digital sports watch is here! 95 00:07:08,190 --> 00:07:09,350 What the hell? 96 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:14,120 - That's not a digital sports watch. - It looks like an Etheropian. 97 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:17,570 They accidentally sent him instead of the watch. 98 00:07:17,740 --> 00:07:21,670 Maybe they took it literally when we said we'd adopt a kid. 99 00:07:22,780 --> 00:07:26,230 - That was cool. - How'd he make those clicking sounds? 100 00:07:26,410 --> 00:07:28,140 What's your name, dude? 101 00:07:28,350 --> 00:07:32,510 - I think he said his name is Marvin. - Yeah, Starvin' Marvin. 102 00:07:32,690 --> 00:07:34,410 Nice to meet you. 103 00:07:34,590 --> 00:07:36,380 - Hey, Mom. - Yes, hon? 104 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,150 We found an Etheropian. Can we keep him? 105 00:07:39,330 --> 00:07:41,920 - Sure, hon. - Sweet. 106 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:46,930 - Let's bring him to school. - I want you to meet my brother. 107 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,070 He's my son. I adopted him. 108 00:07:49,230 --> 00:07:51,830 - It was my mom's card. - We'll switch off. 109 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,000 He'll stay here. Then with Stan, then me. 110 00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:59,110 - Not with Kenny. His family's too poor. - Totally. 111 00:08:01,150 --> 00:08:05,580 Look how the leaves fall so delicately on the surface of the pond. 112 00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:07,510 It's so beautiful. 113 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,520 Not as beautiful as you. 114 00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:19,030 Darling, look. Thanksgiving turkeys. 115 00:08:19,230 --> 00:08:21,200 They're so beautiful. 116 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,330 Not as beautiful as you. 117 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:28,970 Look at the way they foam at the mouth like beautiful suds of beer. 118 00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:31,300 Not as beautiful as... 119 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:41,050 This is a great way to experience America. 120 00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:43,550 This is an all-you-can-eat buffet. 121 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:48,490 You can eat all you want for $6.99. That's why we all come on Tuesdays. 122 00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:52,790 Except for Kenny's family. To them, $6.99 is two years' income. 123 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:57,030 Why is your family poor? Is your dad an alcoholic too? 124 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:02,310 You see, Starvin' Marvin, these are called appetizers. 125 00:09:02,470 --> 00:09:03,530 Appetizer. 126 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:08,040 This is what you eat before you eat to make you more hungry. 127 00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:11,610 Food's here. That's it for the appetizers. 128 00:09:15,590 --> 00:09:17,890 No, that's my potpie. 129 00:09:18,060 --> 00:09:21,360 This is the time of year you're supposed to share. 130 00:09:21,530 --> 00:09:24,520 You're right. You gonna eat your cobbler? 131 00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:28,890 No, you don't want all that. Why don't you share it with me? 132 00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:31,160 Let me just have some of that. 133 00:09:33,910 --> 00:09:37,670 I'm a little disappointed in your Thanksgiving spirit. 134 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:41,440 Only a few cans have been donated to our food drive. 135 00:09:41,610 --> 00:09:45,140 And can't we do a little better than creamed corn... 136 00:09:45,350 --> 00:09:47,820 ...creamed corn and creamed corn? 137 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,090 Bring in more diverse food... 138 00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:55,420 ...or else Kenny's family will have a pretty corny Thanksgiving. 139 00:10:02,030 --> 00:10:04,330 Corny Thanksgiving! 140 00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:10,430 Anyway, some of you have brought something special for show-and-tell. 141 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,130 - Yeah. - Yeah, we did. 142 00:10:12,340 --> 00:10:15,610 All right, boys. Show us what you've brought. 143 00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:20,350 This is our new Ethernopian: Starvin' Marvin. 144 00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:24,150 He can do cool stuff with his voice. Show them. 145 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:27,620 No, Starvin' Marvin, that's Kenny's creamed corn. 146 00:10:27,830 --> 00:10:30,090 That's a bad Starvin' Marvin! 147 00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:33,820 What the hell are you doing? This is horribly wrong. 148 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,940 - How did you get him? - He came instead of the sports watch. 149 00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:40,630 - From the commercial? - Yeah, that one. 150 00:10:40,810 --> 00:10:42,930 - I want a Starvin' Marvin. - Me too. 151 00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:46,130 - Yes, I'll pay $50 for one. - I want one! 152 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:49,070 You're too young to take care of him. 153 00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:52,340 I'll call the Red Cross and have him returned. 154 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,950 We shouldn't have brought him here. 155 00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:59,250 Thank you very much. You can pick him up tonight. Bye. 156 00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:02,290 - I hope you've learned your lesson. - No. 157 00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:05,950 - You can't care for him. - I thought we were supposed to. 158 00:11:06,130 --> 00:11:08,960 But you don't get involved with the child. 159 00:11:09,130 --> 00:11:12,040 You send money, and they write you a letter. 160 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:15,370 He didn't grow up in a normal place like here. 161 00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:18,340 - Why can't he live here now? - Because he can't. 162 00:11:18,510 --> 00:11:21,880 - Because why? - Because 8-year-olds can't be parents! 163 00:11:22,050 --> 00:11:25,540 - Then you take care of him. - I can't. I'm very busy. 164 00:11:26,790 --> 00:11:28,950 I send my $5 a month, see? 165 00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:33,490 - This sucks, he's our friend. - Back to the poor country with you. 166 00:11:33,690 --> 00:11:37,650 Watch what you say. You might be poor and hungry someday. 167 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:38,820 Yeah, right. 168 00:11:41,070 --> 00:11:44,230 I knew you were the only person who'd listen. 169 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:48,400 Let's get it over with. This gives me the booboo-jeebies. 170 00:11:48,610 --> 00:11:52,440 Look here in my microscope. Tell me what you see. 171 00:11:53,010 --> 00:11:55,480 I see an extreme close-up... 172 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:59,010 ...of Vanessa Redgrave's private parts. 173 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,490 Now tell me what you see. 174 00:12:02,690 --> 00:12:04,250 Well, I'm no biologist... 175 00:12:04,420 --> 00:12:07,880 ...but it looks like turkey DNA. - Precisely. 176 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:11,290 - Look how rapidly it's dividing. - What's it mean? 177 00:12:11,460 --> 00:12:14,230 The turkeys are growing exponentially. 178 00:12:14,430 --> 00:12:18,200 If we don't destroy them, they'll take over the town. 179 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:21,500 - Maybe the world. - Oh, fudge! 180 00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:25,440 Let me see that Vanessa Redgrave thing again. 181 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:26,870 Sure. 182 00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:34,320 We're looking for a starving African child... 183 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:38,850 ...who was accidentally sent here instead of a Teiko sports watch. 184 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:47,820 Hey, what's going on? Let go of me! 185 00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:50,090 I'll kick you in the nuts! 186 00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:53,790 Here's your sports watch, son. Sorry for the mix-up. 187 00:12:54,910 --> 00:12:57,270 Now you're pissing me off! 188 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,140 Sweet. 189 00:13:02,910 --> 00:13:07,010 - So how does this thing work? - It's based on the cash grab. 190 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:10,120 Instead of money, cans are in the capsule. 191 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,190 The pov catches as many as he can. 192 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,120 - "Pov"? - Poverty stricken citizen. 193 00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:18,160 Oh, brilliant. 194 00:13:23,740 --> 00:13:26,830 - What the hell is this? - I don't know, mayor. 195 00:13:27,010 --> 00:13:30,570 - It's not on the program. - They're increasing in number. 196 00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:33,540 These are the turkeys I warned you about. 197 00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:39,050 It's true, mayor. Those turkeys just ripped apart my cafeteria. 198 00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:41,910 You won't get away with this, you bastards! 199 00:13:42,090 --> 00:13:44,520 Those are some pissed off turkeys. 200 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:49,980 Okay, people, don't panic! Bring out the defense squad! 201 00:13:55,470 --> 00:13:59,430 We need more than that. They'll come back in larger numbers. 202 00:14:01,170 --> 00:14:04,670 - Phillip, could you pass the beans? - Beans? 203 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,440 Looks like we'll be at war with these Indians soon. 204 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,010 Wait, wait, wait. 205 00:14:11,180 --> 00:14:12,810 Here it comes. 206 00:14:14,850 --> 00:14:17,150 I crapped in my pants! 207 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,780 I think you got some spat on Chief Running Wolf. 208 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,760 I spatted his face. Now he's a smelly Indian. 209 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,560 We'll be back to part 14 of Terrance & Phillip... 210 00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:29,830 ...right after this. 211 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,970 Hunger is an enemy that we all must fight. 212 00:14:33,170 --> 00:14:36,330 These children desperately need your support. 213 00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:39,100 Somebody get me out of here! This sucks! 214 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:42,270 So please call and adopt a child today. 215 00:14:42,450 --> 00:14:44,880 I'm seriously getting pissed off! 216 00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:49,280 - You want more Cheesy Poofs? - Yeah, I want the Cheesy Poofs. 217 00:14:49,450 --> 00:14:50,440 Okay. 218 00:14:50,660 --> 00:14:52,250 Sweet. 219 00:14:53,020 --> 00:14:54,650 This is serious bullsh *t! 220 00:14:54,830 --> 00:14:58,130 There has to be a Happy Burger around here. 221 00:14:58,300 --> 00:15:02,890 Excuse me, I am a lost little boy. Could you help me? 222 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,990 Well, screw you too! 223 00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:12,010 Who let these flies in here? Hasn't anybody heard of insect repellent? 224 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:19,050 All right, everyone, it's time to give out canned food to the poor. 225 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,650 - Where's Cartman? - I don't know. 226 00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:25,790 Do you know where he is? 227 00:15:25,990 --> 00:15:29,860 Looks like we have the turkey problem under control. 228 00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:35,660 It's time to embrace the spirit of giving with the canned-food grab. 229 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,730 Come on, hurry up. 230 00:15:43,340 --> 00:15:44,810 Grab a lot, son. 231 00:15:45,380 --> 00:15:48,640 Happy, happy Thanksgiving. Let her rip! 232 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:55,180 Come on, grab those cans, little boy! 233 00:15:58,420 --> 00:16:01,090 - Come on, Kenny! - Come on, son! 234 00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:09,300 Now, let's see all the goodies you're going to take home to your family. 235 00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:14,870 It looks like he got a can of string beans. 236 00:16:19,710 --> 00:16:23,410 - What the...? - Dude, the mutant turkeys are back. 237 00:16:28,650 --> 00:16:33,020 Okay, people, move along. Nothing to see here, you looky-Ioos. 238 00:16:33,230 --> 00:16:38,220 - I told you, but you didn't listen. - Gather around and listen good. 239 00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:41,420 Go to your homes and arm your... 240 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:52,100 - What the hell are you supposed to be? - That's not important right now. 241 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:56,480 What's this thing supposed to be? It doesn't look like anything. 242 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,010 - Chef, the turkeys. - All right. 243 00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:01,450 Listen up and listen good. 244 00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:05,780 Go to your homes and arm yourselves with whatever you can. 245 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,550 We'll meet back here in 15 minutes. Hurry. 246 00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:15,290 We won't let our Thanksgiving be ruined by a bunch of turkeys. 247 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,900 Dang, you guys. 248 00:17:20,110 --> 00:17:22,400 Seriously, I'm hungry. 249 00:17:22,610 --> 00:17:24,200 I have to eat. 250 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,570 Sweet, the Red Cross. 251 00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:30,340 I'll have fried chicken and mashed potatoes, please. 252 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,780 Sorry, we're out of food. We ran out of funding. 253 00:17:33,950 --> 00:17:37,790 We couldn't get enough sponsors, so we gotta pack it up. 254 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,720 I'm not an Ethernopian. I gotta get home! 255 00:17:40,930 --> 00:17:45,730 Sorry, we just don't have any funds. Here, have a Teiko sports watch. 256 00:17:48,030 --> 00:17:49,660 Weak! 257 00:17:49,870 --> 00:17:55,740 People, we all have to do our part against the evil turkeys. 258 00:17:55,940 --> 00:17:58,430 - There's too many of them. - Come on. 259 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:03,050 - Where is that Thanksgiving spirit? - We can't stop them. 260 00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:09,390 Today, you fight for your city. 261 00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:11,680 You fight for your honor. 262 00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:14,380 These turkeys will continue to push... 263 00:18:14,590 --> 00:18:18,030 ...until they have taken everything from us. 264 00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:23,500 These fudged-up turkeys from the crustaceous era can take our lives... 265 00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:27,660 ...but they can never take our freedom! 266 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,630 Here you go, turkeys. 267 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,070 Does my hair look okay? 268 00:19:03,110 --> 00:19:05,440 Can't go on. 269 00:19:05,610 --> 00:19:08,010 Need appetizer. 270 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:13,740 I'm sorry, God. I'm sorry I mocked poor people. 271 00:19:13,950 --> 00:19:16,480 I'm sorry I wasn't more sensitive. 272 00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:17,920 Please. 273 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:20,020 Please, God. 274 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,990 My God has forsaken me. 275 00:19:39,810 --> 00:19:41,870 I wonder what's in here? 276 00:19:47,450 --> 00:19:49,440 Snacky Cakes! 277 00:19:57,630 --> 00:20:00,620 - Sally Struthers? - Who the hell are you? 278 00:20:00,830 --> 00:20:04,270 - Give me that cake! - No, this is my cake. 279 00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:08,630 - Sally Struthers, give me that cake. - No, you can't have any. 280 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:19,280 You guys, Sally Struthers is holding food from us! 281 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:38,100 Stay close, children. 282 00:20:48,310 --> 00:20:51,980 - Oh, my God, they've killed Kenny! - You bastards! 283 00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:55,120 The last three are getting away! Shoot them! 284 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,810 - We did it! - My God, what have we done? 285 00:21:00,020 --> 00:21:01,720 We've saved Thanksgiving. 286 00:21:01,890 --> 00:21:04,790 But those poor turkeys, they're all dead. 287 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:08,830 Every turkey dies. Not every turkey truly lives. 288 00:21:09,030 --> 00:21:12,400 As horrible as they were, they felt like a part of me. 289 00:21:12,570 --> 00:21:17,010 Perhaps I shouldn't toy with God's creations. Perhaps I should... 290 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:21,040 We're looking for a starving Ethiopian boy... 291 00:21:21,210 --> 00:21:24,510 ...who was accidentally delivered instead of a Teiko sports watch. 292 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,710 Have you seen anyone like this? 293 00:21:26,890 --> 00:21:31,080 That could be a hundred kids in this town, mister. 294 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:35,150 There you are. Are you ready to go home now? 295 00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:49,740 - It sucks he has to leave. - I like him a lot more than Cartman. 296 00:21:49,910 --> 00:21:51,880 I've learned something today. 297 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:56,240 It's easy not to think of images on TV as real, but they are. 298 00:21:56,410 --> 00:22:02,010 That's why it's easy to ignore those commercials, but people on TV are real. 299 00:22:02,190 --> 00:22:04,420 That means MacGyver's real too. 300 00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:09,420 We're terribly sorry about the mix-up. We'll get you home immediately. 301 00:22:09,630 --> 00:22:13,650 That's right, you will. Move it povs, I'm an American! 302 00:22:39,460 --> 00:22:43,450 Lord, on this day of thanks, we extend our deepest gratitude... 303 00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:48,090 ...for this incredible bounty of green beans you have bestowed upon us. 304 00:22:48,830 --> 00:22:53,290 Though you, for some reason, found it necessary to take our son... 305 00:22:53,470 --> 00:22:57,340 ...and though you find pleasure in watching us suffer... 306 00:22:57,540 --> 00:22:59,740 ...still, we give thanks. Amen. 307 00:22:59,910 --> 00:23:01,240 Amen. 308 00:23:02,210 --> 00:23:05,650 Does anybody have a can opener? 309 00:23:05,850 --> 00:23:07,440 Goddamn it.