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SouthParkNews.net
La Fabrique
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{\pub}{\pos(192,210)}Put it down, you bitch!
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Put the golf club down,
you crazy bitch!
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You motherfucker!
I never should have married you!
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You're overreacting,
you stupid Swedish cow!
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Then why the fuck
are you getting text messages
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00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,233
from some low-life hooker
on Thanksgiving?
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God, shut up!
Shut up!
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Where are my fucking pills?
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Take more Vicodin, Tiger!
That'll help!
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- Will you just listen to me?
- Listen to this!
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You fucking whore!
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Where the fuck
do you think you're going?
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I'm getting the fuck away from you!
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Open the door, you motherfucker!
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Chase after me in the car, Kenny!
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- What are you {\*guys }doing?
- {\*Dude, }Check it out.
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It's EA Sports
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11 for Xbox.
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- Fuck you, cunt!
- Stop breaking through the window{\*, Kenny}!
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I'm gonna crash!
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Look what you did, you crazy bitch!
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Serves you right, you cheating turd!
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- {\*Dude, }Was that a combo move?
- Yeah, {\*dude, }I fucked you up!
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{\*Dude, }Here come the cops!
We gotta lie to them. Hit X to lie!
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I didn't know golf games
were this cool!
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Yeah, {\*dude, }EA Sports
outdid themselves this time.
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{\$CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL
AND PREVENTION}
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I've gathered you together here
because you are the best minds
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our country has to offer.
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As you have all seen on the news,
our country is facing a major crisis.
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And we need to find out
what's causing it. Why!
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Why are rich successful men
suddenly going out
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and trying to have sex
with lots of women.
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Tiger Woods
was only the most prevalent,
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but our data shows
that the numbers are growing.
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David Letterman
and before that, Bill Clinton.
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There is a pattern here{\*, people}.
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Why would a man who's famous
and makes tons of money
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use that to try and have sex
with lots of different women?
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And these rich celebrities
have perfectly good wives at home!
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Why would they even think
of sex with others?
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Dammit.
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I want answers.
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00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:07,604
We believe that it may be
an outbreak of sex addiction, sir.
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Sex a woo-hoo?
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It's a new phenomena
we don't completely understand yet.
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But it seems to make people...
different.
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Of course, we {\*all }know the normal {\*healthy }male
thinks only of sex occasionally
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and has no desire
for sex with multiple partners.
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Of course.
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- Definitely true.
- {\*Yes, }We all know that, go on.
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But in the sex addict,
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their {\*entire }lives are consumed with thoughts
of wanting more and more.
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The mere sight of an attractive woman
can make him think about sex with her.
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But what about love?
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How could tons of fame and money
make you forget about love?
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What could be causing
this outbreak of sexual addiction?
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It could be caused
by something in the water supply.
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- Perhaps even by global warming.
- Or cooling.
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If so, then the disease
could start to affect our children.
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That does it.
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I want health screenings
at all our nation's schools.
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We need to find out if {\*any }young people
might be carrying this disease.
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Good afternoon, students.
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We are going to be doing
a health screening today.
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It won't take long,
and will be relatively painless,
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but we need to see
if any students are showing symptoms.
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In a moment, I am going
to show you a suggestive picture,
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and {\*then }I am going to ask you a question
about the picture.
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All right. Ready?
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Here we go.
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What?
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Jesus, dude.
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Holy Moly.
What's that, between the lady's legs?
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It's all bushy!
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Please just study the picture
the best you can, students.
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I'll then ask a question
which you'll answer on the paper{\* provided}.
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I've never seen that part of a lady!
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Do they all got a hedge like that?
Do they?
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Okay, very good.
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Now, what color...
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was the handkerchief
in the nice lady's hand?
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Write down your answer, please.
What color was the handkerchief
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in the nice lady's hand.
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Did you see the bush on that lady?
What the heck was that?
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00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,931
Very good.
Turn your answers over, please.
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Gee wiz, it was like
almost up to her belly button.
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All right, now.
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Who answered
that the handkerchief was yellow?
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Very good.
Very good indeed.
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Now I'd like to see, who answered:
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"What handkerchief?"
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You three boys, please come with me.
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I didn't see a handkerchief.
Did you see {\*a handkerchief}it, Kenny?
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Fuck no, I wasn't looking
at any handkerchief!
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I'm sorry{\* boys}, but I'm afraid you three
have tested positive for sex addiction.
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- What?
- Oh no!
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Who fucking cares.
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{\*We are going to}We'll have to send you home,
I'm afraid.
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Wait, we're sex addicts?
Are you sure?
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Our nice lady with a handkerchief test
is {\*extremely}very comprehensive and thorough.
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{\*I'm }Sorry, but you're simply too dangerous
to have around normal{\*, well-adjusted} students.
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It was just...
so big and bushy, sir!
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- Why does it look like that?
- So what happens to us now?
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A life of desperation and anguish,
I'm afraid.
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Your addiction will start off slowly,
magazines, Internet sites.
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But {\*then }as you keep chasing your high,
your tastes will get more {\*and more }dangerous.
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{\*Most likely, }You'll end up {\*going the way of}like David Carradine
and Michael Hutchence.
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Autoerotic asphyxiation.
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Autoerotic asphyxiation?
What's that?
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I don't want to go
into too much detail, but...
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you choke yourself with a belt{\* around your neck},
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while masturbating,
dressed up like Batman{\* or something}.
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Then you pass out{\* from lack of air},
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and apparently, it makes
your orgasm super awesome.
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Really?
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I don't wanna have
to buy a Batman costume!
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Ladies and gentlemen,
for the past {\*several }days
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we have been screening {\*our nation's }schools
for signs of sex addition.
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The results of our tests
are troubling, to say the least.
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Dr. Tonton?
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In fourth graders, 5% of male students
were found to be sex addicts.
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00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,840
By sixth grade,
the number goes up to 30%.
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00:07:04,008 --> 00:07:05,258
At high schools,
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nearly 91% of male students answered
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"What handkerchief?"
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We're facing a sex addiction epidemic
in our country.
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Young people all over America
are infected
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and at an extreme risk to themselves
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and to the people around them.
They're leading lives of secret pain.
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00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,692
And so, these infected boys
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will soon be secretly wishing
they could be having sex
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all the time
with lots of different people?
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It appears so.
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The poor bastards.
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00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,787
But what about us,
normal healthy adults?
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Are we at risk of exposure?
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00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,207
We don't believe so.
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00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:41,961
In adult males, for whatever reason,
{\*sex addiction}it only seems to be problematic
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00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,255
amongst rich,
successful celebrities.
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However,
we are still collecting data.
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{\*Why would}Why'd wealth or success cause a man
to {\*go out and }have sex with everyone he could?
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Whatever is causing this outbreak,
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we guarantee we will find it.
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Kenny, it's time for dinner!
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Sunset and evening star,
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and one clear call for me!
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And may there be
no moaning of the bar,
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00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,788
- when I put out to sea.
- {\*Oh }My God, it's true.
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But such a tide
as moving seems asleep,
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too full for sound and foam,
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when that which drew
from out the boundless deep...
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There!
It was like that!
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It looked just like that!
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Just like this but smaller!
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{\*And }Right {\*in the place}where her underwear
should have been!
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If I trim it down, it'll look right.
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Butters, stop it!
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00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,395
But this is
what I keep seeing in my head!
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{\*Butters, }We are sick, don't you get it?
{\*We're going to}We'll end up {\*just }like Kenny!
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If I can just see it again,
I'll be fine!
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{\*Butters, }Stop!
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- Leave me alone!
- Stop it!{\* Stop!}
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Oh God!
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Help us!
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00:09:06,059 --> 00:09:08,353
{\pub}{\pos(192,245)}Tiger lines up his drive.
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00:09:09,104 --> 00:09:10,939
{\pos(192,245)}He'll be hoping for a birdie here.
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00:09:11,648 --> 00:09:13,233
{\pos(192,245)}Concentration is key.
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00:09:13,775 --> 00:09:16,987
{\pos(192,245)}You motherfucker!
I never should have married you!
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00:09:17,654 --> 00:09:18,989
{\pos(192,245)}God dammit, stop it!
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00:09:19,114 --> 00:09:22,145
{\pos(192,245)}How many women did you fuck?
How many?
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00:09:23,076 --> 00:09:25,857
- Dude, I clocked you!
- I told you this game was sweet{\*, dude}.
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{\pos(192,245)}Hang on.
I'm switching to a seven iron.
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00:09:32,919 --> 00:09:34,671
Man, I lost another endorsement!
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00:09:34,796 --> 00:09:36,701
- How'd you do that?
- Hit A and X together.
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{\pos(192,245)}Round 2.
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00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,260
{\pos(192,245)}Fight!
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00:09:42,137 --> 00:09:43,430
You're going down, Elin!
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00:09:43,555 --> 00:09:45,376
I don't think so{\*, dude}.
I got the prenup power up.
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00:09:46,016 --> 00:09:47,253
{\pos(192,245)}Prenup power up!
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00:09:48,768 --> 00:09:51,062
{\pos(192,245)}Prenup, weak!
When did you get that power up?
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All right, sex addicts!
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00:09:54,439 --> 00:09:56,818
What other destructive behaviors
did we engage in,
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which lead to our ultimate downfall?
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00:10:00,030 --> 00:10:01,740
Anyone have another example?
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00:10:01,865 --> 00:10:04,020
Let's see.
How about... David!
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00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:07,871
Having sex with employees.
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00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:11,791
Sex with employees,
definitely a danger there.
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00:10:11,916 --> 00:10:13,905
What else?
Mr. Clinton?
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00:10:14,586 --> 00:10:16,491
Putting cigars in girls' vaginas.
191
00:10:17,088 --> 00:10:20,634
Very good, Billy.
Cigars in vaginas.
192
00:10:20,759 --> 00:10:22,455
Not the best idea there.
193
00:10:22,802 --> 00:10:25,166
Watching Internet porn
all day every day?
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00:10:25,513 --> 00:10:27,182
Spot on, Charlie Sheen.
195
00:10:27,307 --> 00:10:30,185
Excessive Internet porn.
196
00:10:30,310 --> 00:10:32,646
Now, the reason
we are making this list
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00:10:32,771 --> 00:10:35,023
is that we have new members today!
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00:10:35,148 --> 00:10:38,221
I want you all to welcome
Kyle and Bummers!
199
00:10:42,822 --> 00:10:45,408
Would you care
to share your stories with us, boys?
200
00:10:48,036 --> 00:10:49,788
{\*Well, }I just found out I'm a sex addict.
201
00:10:49,913 --> 00:10:52,415
I'm so scared.
I haven't even told my mom yet.
202
00:10:53,041 --> 00:10:54,654
Does your mom have big tits?
203
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:56,531
Sorry.
204
00:10:56,878 --> 00:10:57,796
Me, I just...
205
00:10:57,921 --> 00:11:00,076
I just can't stop thinking
about bush.
206
00:11:00,465 --> 00:11:01,536
I heard that.
207
00:11:01,883 --> 00:11:04,719
{\*I mean, }It's like... What is it?
What does it mean?
208
00:11:04,844 --> 00:11:06,374
Why would there be a bush{\* right there}?
209
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,126
Is it a live bush?
Are there berries?
210
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:10,628
Mr. Duchovny,
please stop jerking off.
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00:11:11,518 --> 00:11:12,519
Gee wiz.
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00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,341
To better understand
the sex addiction outbreak
213
00:11:16,356 --> 00:11:18,720
we have been running tests
on chimpanzees.
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00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:22,181
{\*You can see that }This entire community of specimens
are getting along normally,
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00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:23,975
some pairing off,
others on their own.
216
00:11:24,447 --> 00:11:25,685
{\*Now, }See this chimp here.
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00:11:26,074 --> 00:11:29,564
An average, normal adult male.
Blending in seamlessly with the others.
218
00:11:30,036 --> 00:11:33,039
Now watch.
We are going to give it a lot of money.
219
00:11:33,873 --> 00:11:34,736
Go ahead.
220
00:11:56,271 --> 00:11:57,272
My God!
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00:12:16,291 --> 00:12:18,613
The subject is now isolated
and shunned.
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00:12:18,918 --> 00:12:21,296
Incredible.
And what is it doing now?
223
00:12:21,421 --> 00:12:24,035
Making a public apology
on its talk show.
224
00:12:28,136 --> 00:12:29,137
Alrighty!{\* Now,}
225
00:12:29,596 --> 00:12:31,918
We all know the destructive behavior
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00:12:32,307 --> 00:12:35,046
that got us
into this predicament, don't we?
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00:12:35,435 --> 00:12:38,883
What is the main thing
we've all learned to avoid?
228
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:39,717
{\*Yes, }Tiger!
229
00:12:40,732 --> 00:12:42,859
Avoid drugs and alcohol?
230
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,600
No, Tiger.
You still aren't getting it.
231
00:12:48,531 --> 00:12:51,618
In order to make sure
we are no longer destroying our lives
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00:12:51,743 --> 00:12:54,704
with any of these behaviors,
we must avoid...
233
00:12:54,829 --> 00:12:55,872
Anyone?
234
00:12:55,997 --> 00:12:57,735
Avoid getting... Anyone?
235
00:12:58,152 --> 00:12:58,862
Caught.
236
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,780
Yes, Michael Douglas, everyone?
237
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:02,323
Getting caught.
238
00:13:02,837 --> 00:13:04,798
Very good!
You are all here in therapy
239
00:13:04,923 --> 00:13:06,452
because you got...
240
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:07,286
caught!
241
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,164
{\*So, }How to we avoid getting caught?
Ben Roethlisberger.
242
00:13:11,888 --> 00:13:14,878
Don't screw girls
in the public bathrooms?
243
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,838
When they ask you
for money, pay them.
244
00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:17,964
Good{\*, yes}.
245
00:13:18,311 --> 00:13:19,354
Hang on.
246
00:13:19,479 --> 00:13:21,856
We shouldn't be learning
how to not get caught.
247
00:13:21,981 --> 00:13:24,567
We have to take responsibility
for our actions.
248
00:13:28,154 --> 00:13:30,240
What the fuck are you talking about?
249
00:13:31,783 --> 00:13:33,868
We have to accept
that we have a problem
250
00:13:33,993 --> 00:13:36,329
and put the blame
completely on ourselves.
251
00:13:36,955 --> 00:13:39,290
{\*I mean, }Maybe this isn't really
even a disease.
252
00:13:47,966 --> 00:13:48,967
{\*Yeah, }It's me.
253
00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:51,219
We've got a turd in the punch bowl.
254
00:13:52,178 --> 00:13:54,889
I repeat, we have a turd
in the punch bowl.
255
00:13:57,517 --> 00:14:00,673
Mr. President, in every test
the results were the same.
256
00:14:01,020 --> 00:14:02,981
The monkeys who were given cash
always acted out
257
00:14:03,106 --> 00:14:05,400
their sexual addiction
to dangerous levels.
258
00:14:05,525 --> 00:14:08,069
It appears that money
has a direct effect
259
00:14:08,194 --> 00:14:10,308
on the viruses ability to develop.
260
00:14:10,905 --> 00:14:14,020
So we must keep our nation's youth
away from money and success.
261
00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:15,368
No good{\* Mr. President}.
262
00:14:15,827 --> 00:14:19,164
Because we've learned that sex addicts
will find ways to make money
263
00:14:19,289 --> 00:14:21,903
and become successful
in order to feed their addiction.
264
00:14:22,417 --> 00:14:25,712
{\*You mean }Boys will start working
towards being rich and successful
265
00:14:25,837 --> 00:14:28,326
just so they can one day
have sex with lots of women?
266
00:14:29,632 --> 00:14:32,719
That's why we decided
to look at the cash itself for clues.
267
00:14:32,844 --> 00:14:35,221
We tried to find something
in hundred dollar bills
268
00:14:35,346 --> 00:14:37,724
that could explain
why this is happening now.
269
00:14:37,849 --> 00:14:40,505
Then we looked at the backside
and found this.
270
00:14:42,437 --> 00:14:43,883
Independence Hall,
271
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,509
the birthplace of our country.
272
00:14:46,149 --> 00:14:48,555
We believe something is happening
at Independence Hall
273
00:14:48,723 --> 00:14:50,862
that gives money its power over men.
274
00:14:51,112 --> 00:14:52,447
Independence Hall,
275
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:54,157
Independence Day,
276
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:55,700
aliens.
277
00:14:56,993 --> 00:14:57,994
Gentlemen,
278
00:14:58,286 --> 00:15:00,900
I might know what's causing
the sex addiction outbreak.
279
00:15:01,331 --> 00:15:03,124
This is highly classified,
280
00:15:03,249 --> 00:15:05,877
but in 1947,
a flying saucer was discovered
281
00:15:06,002 --> 00:15:07,670
in Roswell, New Mexico.
282
00:15:08,171 --> 00:15:11,382
Two deceased alien {\*bodies }were recovered
and hidden from public knowledge.
283
00:15:11,507 --> 00:15:13,551
They carried a virus with them,
284
00:15:14,093 --> 00:15:17,722
{\*a virus }that{\* apparently} was only barely stopped
from spreading all over the country.
285
00:15:18,556 --> 00:15:22,268
And you think these aliens
could be back with a new virus,
286
00:15:22,393 --> 00:15:25,438
{\*one }originating from Independence Hall
causing rich successful men
287
00:15:25,563 --> 00:15:27,218
to have sex with lots of women?
288
00:15:28,274 --> 00:15:31,194
It's the only explanation
that makes any sense.
289
00:15:37,409 --> 00:15:39,411
{\pub}{\pos(192,240)}I want to say that I am deeply sorry
290
00:15:39,536 --> 00:15:42,247
{\pos(192,240)}for my irresponsible
and selfish behavior.
291
00:15:42,831 --> 00:15:45,792
{\pos(192,240)}I know I have severely disappointed
all of you.
292
00:15:45,917 --> 00:15:48,462
{\pos(192,240)}Some have speculated
that my wife somehow hurt
293
00:15:48,587 --> 00:15:50,505
{\pos(192,240)}or attacked me
on Thanksgiving night.
294
00:15:50,797 --> 00:15:53,925
{\pos(192,240)}It angers me that people
would fabricate a story like that.
295
00:15:54,176 --> 00:15:56,303
{\pos(192,240)}She has shown nothing
but grace and poise.
296
00:15:56,428 --> 00:15:57,721
{\pos(192,240)}You motherfucker!
297
00:15:59,556 --> 00:16:01,600
I should have never married you!
298
00:16:01,725 --> 00:16:03,296
- Stop it!
- A porn star?
299
00:16:03,685 --> 00:16:05,590
You screwed a porn star?
300
00:16:06,021 --> 00:16:08,607
{\*Oh dude, }You found another girl's phone number
on my cell phone?
301
00:16:08,732 --> 00:16:10,233
{\*Yeah, }Back in that water level.
302
00:16:12,152 --> 00:16:14,196
Is Kyle still
at sex addiction therapy?
303
00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:15,809
That must be really intense.
304
00:16:21,107 --> 00:16:22,746
{\*Okay, so }What exactly are we doing now?
305
00:16:23,121 --> 00:16:26,903
We are on our way to help take care
of your diseases once and for all!
306
00:16:27,292 --> 00:16:29,447
Good,
'cause I really can't take it anymore.
307
00:16:29,615 --> 00:16:32,700
Don't worry. As soon as it's dead,
everything will make sense.
308
00:16:34,049 --> 00:16:35,411
As soon as what's dead?
309
00:16:35,702 --> 00:16:37,247
- Jesus!
- He just doesn't get it!
310
00:16:37,636 --> 00:16:40,222
The infected alien
that they just discovered is hiding out
311
00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:41,932
at Independence Hall!
312
00:16:53,693 --> 00:16:55,598
Entrance is clear, Mr. President!
313
00:16:57,489 --> 00:17:00,186
Mr. President, you aren't safe here,
let us handle this.
314
00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:02,035
Right side clear!
315
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:03,328
We must be careful.
316
00:17:03,453 --> 00:17:06,443
The alien could have cast
some kind of spell of invisibility.
317
00:17:06,790 --> 00:17:09,362
Which would mean
that the alien is also a wizard.
318
00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:11,169
{\*Yes!}It explains everything!
319
00:17:11,294 --> 00:17:14,840
A wizard alien would be able
to cast a spell on our species.
320
00:17:14,965 --> 00:17:17,370
Causing all the men
to become sex addicts.
321
00:17:17,759 --> 00:17:18,593
Enough!
322
00:17:18,718 --> 00:17:20,957
We've to find the wizard alien
and break his spell!
323
00:17:21,346 --> 00:17:23,557
Okay, okay.
All right, hang on guys.
324
00:17:24,045 --> 00:17:25,976
{\*I mean }Come on,
this is getting a little ridiculous.
325
00:17:26,101 --> 00:17:27,269
Wizard alien?
326
00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:29,632
We all know
what's going on here, don't we?
327
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,483
Whenever a story breaks
about some rich {\*famous }guy going around
328
00:17:33,608 --> 00:17:37,195
and having sex with tons of girls,
we all {\*want to }act like we don't understand it.
329
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:38,405
But we do.
330
00:17:38,530 --> 00:17:39,906
We're guys, you know?
331
00:17:40,031 --> 00:17:42,186
Our brains are wired
to strive to be the alpha male,
332
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,687
{\*and }get all the women that we can.
333
00:17:44,536 --> 00:17:45,829
{\*I mean, }Look where we are!
334
00:17:45,954 --> 00:17:48,707
Even Benjamin Franklin
screwed everything that moved,
335
00:17:48,832 --> 00:17:50,000
because he could.
336
00:17:50,125 --> 00:17:53,295
We don't have to condone
what these rich famous people do,
337
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,922
but we can at least admit
that given the same temptations
338
00:17:56,047 --> 00:17:58,925
and opportunities
that somebody like Tiger Woods has,
339
00:17:59,050 --> 00:18:01,428
a lot of guys
might do something similar.
340
00:18:05,849 --> 00:18:08,018
We have a turd in the punch bowl.
341
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:09,589
Turd in the punch bowl.
342
00:18:10,145 --> 00:18:12,842
What are you doing?
{\*Come on!}Where are you taking me?
343
00:18:13,315 --> 00:18:15,275
Ten city blocks have been shut down
344
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,612
because an alien is believed
to have taken refuge here,
345
00:18:18,737 --> 00:18:19,891
in Independence Hall.
346
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,200
By all accounts
the alien is also a wizard,
347
00:18:23,325 --> 00:18:25,577
who could very easily be
the cause of the outbreak
348
00:18:25,702 --> 00:18:27,787
of sex addiction in our country!
349
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:33,696
{\*Mr. President!}Here they are!
350
00:18:34,711 --> 00:18:36,421
This is the boy I told you about.
351
00:18:36,546 --> 00:18:38,701
- And his friend, Bummers.
- Son,
352
00:18:39,090 --> 00:18:42,344
we were told that you think
sex addition can be controlled,
353
00:18:42,469 --> 00:18:44,804
that it just takes restraint.
Is that true?
354
00:18:45,764 --> 00:18:48,892
I just think I'd rather control it
instead of blame it on anything.
355
00:18:49,809 --> 00:18:50,713
Amazing!
356
00:18:51,102 --> 00:18:53,563
{\*Then }The wizard alien's spell
might not have any power over him!
357
00:18:53,688 --> 00:18:56,900
- He could draw the bastard out!
- Quick! Give that boy a gun!
358
00:18:57,484 --> 00:18:59,569
- What?
- You better take one too!
359
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,030
{\*All right.}Everyone to the stairwell!
360
00:19:02,155 --> 00:19:04,811
- The bastard has gotta be upstairs!
- What bastard?
361
00:19:04,979 --> 00:19:08,203
The alien wizard hiding out here!
Come on, we've got to...
362
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,527
What the hell was that?
363
00:19:12,916 --> 00:19:14,696
I got a bad feeling about this.
364
00:19:18,630 --> 00:19:21,035
- {\*Oh }My God, there it is!
- It's the alien wizard!
365
00:19:21,424 --> 00:19:23,163
It's gonna get you boys!
Shoot it!
366
00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:29,586
- Shoot it, boys!
- You have to shoot it!
367
00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:33,548
{\*Shoot it }Again!
It's still alive!
368
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,260
You gotta reload!
369
00:19:40,485 --> 00:19:42,474
Keep firing, boys!
Shoot it in the heart!
370
00:19:44,155 --> 00:19:46,811
- Keep shooting it!
- Shoot him in his blabber mouth!
371
00:19:53,081 --> 00:19:54,944
My God, they've done it!
372
00:19:59,963 --> 00:20:02,243
{\*Look!}The sex addiction!
It's leaving my body!
373
00:20:02,411 --> 00:20:04,384
I can feel it!
I'm free!
374
00:20:04,801 --> 00:20:06,080
We are healed!
375
00:20:10,765 --> 00:20:11,850
We watched
376
00:20:11,975 --> 00:20:14,519
as sex addiction
ran rampant through our country.
377
00:20:14,769 --> 00:20:16,396
It devastated families.
378
00:20:17,230 --> 00:20:20,775
But once again,
our great country has risen up as one.
379
00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:23,486
The wizard alien is dead.
380
00:20:23,945 --> 00:20:25,822
Sex addiction is no more.
381
00:20:26,239 --> 00:20:28,366
And if a rich celebrity
is caught again
382
00:20:28,491 --> 00:20:30,160
trying to screw lots of women,
383
00:20:30,285 --> 00:20:32,954
we'll now know it isn't
because men are just like that,
384
00:20:33,079 --> 00:20:36,207
it's because a wizard alien
has cast his mighty spell.
385
00:20:40,253 --> 00:20:42,672
I'm so glad it's over, Sharon,
aren't you?
386
00:20:43,506 --> 00:20:46,204
We are now with the young boys
who helped stop the alien.
387
00:20:47,010 --> 00:20:49,596
{\*Boys, }How does it feel
to be free of your illness?
388
00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:52,710
I guess it feels great.
389
00:20:52,878 --> 00:20:53,933
Thanks.
390
00:20:54,434 --> 00:20:57,520
Yeah, it feels great!
I never wanna see bush again!
391
00:20:58,021 --> 00:21:00,273
I finally paid a lady
to show me hers.
392
00:21:00,398 --> 00:21:02,400
You wanna know
what's under that bush?
393
00:21:02,525 --> 00:21:05,557
Nothin' but a pair
of sick joker lips!
394
00:21:06,196 --> 00:21:08,448
{\pos(192,240)}I am so happy that I am cured,
395
00:21:08,573 --> 00:21:11,618
{\pos(192,240)}and no longer have any desire
to have sex with anyone,
396
00:21:11,743 --> 00:21:13,036
{\pos(192,240)}but my beautiful wife.
397
00:21:13,536 --> 00:21:15,205
{\pos(192,240)}Now I can be faithful,
398
00:21:15,330 --> 00:21:18,166
{\pos(192,240)}and my wife won't feel
any need to get revenge
399
00:21:18,291 --> 00:21:20,251
{\pos(192,240)}by sleeping with a bunch of guys.
400
00:21:24,464 --> 00:21:27,467
{\pos(192,240)}So I officially announce
my return to golf!
401
00:21:40,188 --> 00:21:42,649
What the hell?
This game's all boring now.
402
00:21:42,774 --> 00:21:44,234
{\*Yeah, }Where's all the fighting?
403
00:21:45,443 --> 00:21:48,071
{\*Dude, }Screw this. Who wants to hit
a dumb little ball around?
404
00:21:48,488 --> 00:21:49,948
Golf is stupid again.