1 00:00:34,827 --> 00:00:37,169 Well detective it looks like you fooled them again. 2 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,370 Well then it is work I guess. 3 00:00:38,427 --> 00:00:41,066 I just hope that next time, I don't have to run so much. 4 00:00:43,107 --> 00:00:45,420 Ok children, what do you think Barneby Jones 5 00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:49,121 meant when he said this is not a victimless crime? 6 00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:50,780 Anybody? 7 00:00:50,907 --> 00:00:52,529 Children, were you paying attention? 8 00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:55,633 Mr.Garrison, we've been watching Barneby Jones repeats for 8 days now. 9 00:00:55,634 --> 00:00:56,626 It's hard to keep paying attention. 10 00:00:56,627 --> 00:01:00,461 Oh well excuse me Kyle. Why don't you just forget what Barneby Jones has to say. 11 00:01:00,587 --> 00:01:04,978 Why don't you not pay attention to Barneby Jones and let's see how far you get in society. 12 00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:09,066 Ok Stanley, why don't you tell us how Barneby Jones knew the poison was in the milk. 13 00:01:09,187 --> 00:01:11,294 Can't we just be like normal third graders for a little while? 14 00:01:11,295 --> 00:01:12,895 Oh, and what do you consider normal? 15 00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:15,939 I dunno, like learn about Art and Music and go on field trips and stuff. 16 00:01:16,747 --> 00:01:21,138 Well Mr.Smartypants, it just so happens we ARE going on a field trip tomorrow. 17 00:01:21,867 --> 00:01:23,744 - To where? - To the planetarium. 18 00:01:25,067 --> 00:01:28,298 - Planetarium sucks. - Aw now what's wrong with the planetarium? 19 00:01:28,427 --> 00:01:30,861 - It's boring! - Yeah, all the constillations look alike! 20 00:01:30,987 --> 00:01:34,536 Well too bad. You're all going to the planetarium tomorrow and you're all going to love it. 21 00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:38,706 In the meantime we're going to watch episode number 203, Barneby Under Siege. 22 00:01:39,747 --> 00:01:42,261 Oh sorry, I taped these at home so there's more commercials. 23 00:01:42,387 --> 00:01:44,582 Hey kids, do you love Cheesy Poofs? 24 00:01:45,227 --> 00:01:49,349 Well Cheesy Poofs is looking for a kid to sing the happy Cheesy Poof song. 25 00:01:49,350 --> 00:01:51,850 Watch for our talent van as it goes around the country! 26 00:01:51,947 --> 00:01:53,612 I can sing the cheesy poof song! 27 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:57,013 If you win, you can be picked to be in our next Cheesy Poof commercial! 28 00:01:57,107 --> 00:02:01,585 So remember I love cheesy poofs, you love cheesy poofs 29 00:02:01,586 --> 00:02:03,096 if we didn't eat cheesy poofs we'd be lame... 30 00:02:04,187 --> 00:02:08,339 Ok children let's quiet down, so the bus driver can consentrate on the road. 31 00:02:08,467 --> 00:02:10,537 That ain't how you do it! It goes like this! 32 00:02:10,667 --> 00:02:12,578 SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!!!!! 33 00:02:12,947 --> 00:02:14,426 Ow... geezes lady! 34 00:02:15,907 --> 00:02:17,380 THERE'S THE PLANETARIUM!!! 35 00:02:17,381 --> 00:02:21,081 WATCH YOUR STEP ON THE WAY DOWN SO NOT TO HURT YOURSELF!!!!!! 36 00:02:21,187 --> 00:02:24,518 Ok children, now I'm going to remind you this is a planetarium. 37 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:26,719 Not a bancock bravo. Let's behave ourselves. 38 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:30,217 Does your kid have what it takes to be the next Cheesy Poofs anthem singer? 39 00:02:30,347 --> 00:02:33,500 - Hey there it is! - We're going around the country trying to find the kid 40 00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,701 who can sing the Cheesy Poof Song better than anybody. 41 00:02:35,867 --> 00:02:38,562 I can sing the cheesy poof song with both hands tied behind my back! 42 00:02:38,563 --> 00:02:40,663 You couldn't get both your arms behind your back fatass! 43 00:02:40,747 --> 00:02:42,380 Come on Eric, we're going to the planetarium. 44 00:02:42,381 --> 00:02:45,381 But I have to go sing the cheesy poof song for that talent vaaann!!!! 45 00:02:45,427 --> 00:02:48,658 No you have to in this building and see a bunch of stupid stars, now come on. 46 00:02:48,787 --> 00:02:51,620 But I wanna sing the cheesy poof song!!! You guys seriously!!!! 47 00:02:53,947 --> 00:02:59,021 Hello children, my name is Dr.Adams. Welcome to the plane-arium. 48 00:02:59,147 --> 00:03:01,615 - I thought it was planeTArium. - Well it is, 49 00:03:01,747 --> 00:03:06,582 but I have a bone disease, which impedes me to pronounce the T in plane-arium. 50 00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:08,717 That's a pretty weird bone disease. 51 00:03:08,718 --> 00:03:11,718 Yes perhaps some day I can get a bone marrow transplant. 52 00:03:11,827 --> 00:03:15,024 - Yes, little boy? - How long is that Cheesy Poof van gonna be outside? 53 00:03:15,147 --> 00:03:18,957 Well I don't know, but anyway boys and girls soon you'll be witnessing 54 00:03:18,958 --> 00:03:20,258 the wonders of the universe. 55 00:03:20,387 --> 00:03:24,266 - But first I wanna show you how the plane-arium works. - As if we care. 56 00:03:25,907 --> 00:03:30,025 - Hey, who are you? - That... little Missy here runs the big projector for us. 57 00:03:30,147 --> 00:03:33,935 - I love my work. - Whoa dude, you're only as old as us. Shouldn't you be in school? 58 00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:36,456 I love my work. 59 00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:40,259 Come on, let's get into the plane-arium, shall we? 60 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:43,696 Goodmorning children and welcome to the plane-arium. 61 00:03:43,697 --> 00:03:46,397 We're going on a fascinating ride through the universe. 62 00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:49,539 So I advise you to lean back in your chairs and get comfortable. 63 00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:54,297 - This is stupid. - And now I'm going to dim the lights, and let the stars... 64 00:03:54,427 --> 00:03:56,861 - come out. - Whoopee... 65 00:03:56,987 --> 00:04:00,544 Here we see the constellation called the Big Dipper. 66 00:04:00,545 --> 00:04:04,245 If I project the drawing of a big dipper on top of it, 67 00:04:04,347 --> 00:04:06,941 we see where the constillation gets its name. 68 00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:11,140 These stars over here form the constellation of taurus, the bull. 69 00:04:11,267 --> 00:04:15,465 While these stars form the constellation Roger Ebert. 70 00:04:15,587 --> 00:04:20,502 And these two little stars over here form the constellation, the Crusades. 71 00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:25,018 Now stars are actually made of hot gas. 72 00:04:25,147 --> 00:04:26,626 Ah man screw this. 73 00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:34,661 Now breath deep as the stars slowly start to move in little circles. 74 00:04:34,787 --> 00:04:37,723 I know that you think plane-ariums are boring, 75 00:04:37,724 --> 00:04:41,824 but I'm gonna try to change the way you think about that. 76 00:04:41,947 --> 00:04:45,462 ...love cheesy poofs, if we didn't eat cheesy poofs we'd be lame. 77 00:04:45,587 --> 00:04:48,784 That was great Tommy. Tommy Fresc from Tory Pines, he could be our winner. 78 00:04:48,907 --> 00:04:51,501 Excuse me but I do believe that sucked ass. 79 00:04:51,627 --> 00:04:53,902 - Oh, and what's your name, little boy? - Eric Cartman. 80 00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:56,621 Alright here's Eric Cartman giving it a shot. 81 00:04:58,187 --> 00:05:03,580 Ahem... I love Cheesy Poofs, you love Cheesy Poofs, if we didn't eat Cheesy Poofs, 82 00:05:03,707 --> 00:05:06,619 we'd be laaaameee! 83 00:05:06,747 --> 00:05:11,946 I'm talking nightcourt in a thrift season laaameeahhh! 84 00:05:12,947 --> 00:05:14,460 Ah drop sucker on that! 85 00:05:15,467 --> 00:05:17,537 Well kids how did you like the planetarium? 86 00:05:17,667 --> 00:05:21,660 - Oh man I don't feel so good. - Me neither, but I loved the planetarium. 87 00:05:21,787 --> 00:05:25,257 - Me too! It was sweet! - Really? What did you like best about it? 88 00:05:25,427 --> 00:05:28,703 - I don't know. I don't even remember what happened! - Wait a minute, where's Eric? 89 00:05:28,827 --> 00:05:30,306 - I did it! I did it! - Did what? 90 00:05:30,427 --> 00:05:34,386 - I got a callback for the cheesy poof song! -You snuck off and sang that stupid song? 91 00:05:34,507 --> 00:05:38,420 - Yeah dude, but I got in the finals for tomorrow! - Goodbye children, thanks for visiting. 92 00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:42,381 Don't forget we have laser rock shows tonight at the plane-arium. 93 00:05:42,507 --> 00:05:45,704 This week is laser Kenny Logins and laser James Taylor. 94 00:05:47,067 --> 00:05:48,898 - My head still feels funny. - Yeah me too. 95 00:05:49,027 --> 00:05:51,705 You guys, when I'm doing that Cheesy Poof commercial, 96 00:05:51,706 --> 00:05:53,606 I bet I get all the Cheesy Poofs I want. 97 00:05:53,747 --> 00:05:57,820 - Like you really need it hippoass. - It's sad how jealous you are Kyle, it really is. 98 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,343 -Ahh dude! Who the hell are you? - My name is... 99 00:06:02,467 --> 00:06:05,743 - Van Gather... - Van Gather? What the hell you doing on our bus? 100 00:06:05,867 --> 00:06:08,571 Mr.Garrison there's some freaky kid from the planetarium on our bus! 101 00:06:08,572 --> 00:06:10,472 Oh great then I guess we'll have to go back. 102 00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,543 No! Don't go back! No! 103 00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:15,864 - Hey be careful asshole! - Please don't take me back there! 104 00:06:16,227 --> 00:06:18,821 - Can't...can't... - Alright dude, mellow out, geez. 105 00:06:19,827 --> 00:06:22,216 We better get him to the nurse's office, stacked! 106 00:06:24,627 --> 00:06:28,222 - Planetarium... - I'll give him a pain killer. That should calm him down. 107 00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:30,463 No no no pain killer! I'll be ok! 108 00:06:30,587 --> 00:06:34,182 Oh um ok, Van Galder, I'm counselor Mackey, 109 00:06:34,307 --> 00:06:38,141 have you been smoking marijuna? Marijuana's bad, mmkay? 110 00:06:38,707 --> 00:06:42,859 Must tell... the machine... the machine is eee... 111 00:06:43,507 --> 00:06:46,544 Well I've never seen anything like this. What do you think Principal? 112 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:50,706 - Well whatever happened to him, happened at the planetarium. - Ahh planetarium! 113 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:55,947 I think tonight the planetarium's doing laser Logins, I might have to check it out. 114 00:07:04,267 --> 00:07:08,465 - Oh man this is boring. - Yeah, who the heck finds this stuff interesting? 115 00:07:08,987 --> 00:07:13,424 - Dude this is totally killer. - I hope this goes on for 7 months or something. 116 00:07:18,107 --> 00:07:23,306 You will not remember what happens here. To remember it will cause incredible pain. 117 00:07:24,187 --> 00:07:26,178 Incredible pain. 118 00:07:26,827 --> 00:07:29,182 Incredible icky pain! 119 00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:33,061 - Dude, I'm totally tripping... - Yeah, it's totally killer. 120 00:07:36,307 --> 00:07:41,461 Today children we are going to learn about Japenese poems called haikus. 121 00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:44,748 A haiku is just like a normal American poem except 122 00:07:44,749 --> 00:07:46,849 that it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid. 123 00:07:46,947 --> 00:07:49,905 For example... uh... Where's Eric Cartman? 124 00:07:50,027 --> 00:07:53,497 - That's a haiku? - No I'm asking why Eric Cartman isn't at school. 125 00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:57,895 - Was he on the school bus this morning? - No. - Fatass Cartman... was... 126 00:07:58,027 --> 00:08:01,064 the school bus today... what a big fat turd. 127 00:08:01,187 --> 00:08:06,739 Oh, very good haiku Kyle. Yes, haikus have five syllables, then seven, then five. 128 00:08:06,867 --> 00:08:08,664 Kenny, can you give us another example? 129 00:08:08,665 --> 00:08:14,244 When I get blowjobs... that I cum through discharging... that's the way to fuck. 130 00:08:15,427 --> 00:08:18,658 - What's a discharge? - Mr.Garrison, since haikus suck so much ass, 131 00:08:18,787 --> 00:08:21,779 - can we go back to the planitarium again? - Yeah I wanna go to the planetarium again too! 132 00:08:21,907 --> 00:08:24,785 But you were just there, why do you wanna go again so soon? 133 00:08:25,907 --> 00:08:29,820 - Yeah, why DO we wanna go again so soon? - I dunno. I just have this sudden urge to go back. 134 00:08:29,947 --> 00:08:32,905 Well I guess we could go again since it's just down the street. 135 00:08:33,707 --> 00:08:38,178 Well hello, it's all my little friends with all their little dreams. 136 00:08:38,307 --> 00:08:42,061 - Eric, where have you been? - Let's see where have I been, where have I been... 137 00:08:42,187 --> 00:08:46,180 - Where have you been Cartman? - Well I might have been over at the Cheesy Poof call back, 138 00:08:46,307 --> 00:08:48,218 winning regional championship! 139 00:08:49,187 --> 00:08:52,304 This is my regional championship certificate. Do you like it? 140 00:08:52,427 --> 00:08:57,182 Hey, where's your regional champion certificate Clyde? Oh you don't have one? 141 00:08:58,067 --> 00:09:02,458 Hmm, did you have a regional certificate Wendy? No? Apparently only I do! 142 00:09:02,587 --> 00:09:05,977 Ass full of pork fat... jiggles like a jello mold... 143 00:09:06,147 --> 00:09:09,742 - mouth is flapping too. - Your haiku insults have no affect on me Kyle. 144 00:09:09,867 --> 00:09:13,018 - I'm regional champion. - Does that mean you're gonna be on that Cheesy Poof commercial? 145 00:09:13,147 --> 00:09:16,537 It's between me and four other kids. I'm on my way now with my mom to the finals. 146 00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:19,977 I bet you don't win... they don't let big fatasses... 147 00:09:20,107 --> 00:09:22,541 - perform on TV. - Very good Kyle. 148 00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:24,498 Shut your god damn mouth... 149 00:09:24,627 --> 00:09:29,655 or else I'm gonna...kick you.... squa....in the balls... 150 00:09:30,227 --> 00:09:32,457 asshole... ah damn it! 151 00:09:33,627 --> 00:09:37,620 - Uh, how's he doing nurse? - He's stable. But I still can't get any information out of him. 152 00:09:37,747 --> 00:09:40,136 - I'm gonna sedate him now. - No! No drugs! 153 00:09:40,267 --> 00:09:44,545 - Drugs are good, mmkay. - Don't let them... no... planetarium... 154 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:48,137 - Why Van Gelder? - The machine is...ahh... 155 00:09:48,707 --> 00:09:51,779 The machine is ahh? That's probably bad. 156 00:09:51,907 --> 00:09:55,661 He's been talking about "the machine" for hours. That and Daisy Fuentes. 157 00:09:55,787 --> 00:09:58,142 Why America's Funniest Home videos?? Why?? 158 00:09:58,267 --> 00:10:01,225 Uh there's only one way to get any sense out of him. 159 00:10:01,347 --> 00:10:05,226 - We're gonna have to try a mind melt, mmkay. - A what? 160 00:10:05,347 --> 00:10:09,863 Well it's an ancient technique handed down from school counselor to school counselor. 161 00:10:09,987 --> 00:10:14,344 - I don't like to use it, but it may be our only hope. - Well what will you need? 162 00:10:14,467 --> 00:10:19,860 Just time to prepare nurse. Just time....mmkay. 163 00:10:21,027 --> 00:10:24,549 Well children, I'm so glad you came back to learn more. 164 00:10:24,550 --> 00:10:27,050 They just begged to come back, I couldn't get them to shut up about it. 165 00:10:27,147 --> 00:10:31,106 Well I'm sure we're gonna have a marvelous time, won't we children? 166 00:10:33,027 --> 00:10:35,780 - Yes. - This way please, enjoy your visit. 167 00:10:37,107 --> 00:10:41,146 illions of stars and billions of galaxies make up our universe. 168 00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:45,624 - Here you see pollarus, the dog star. - I'm just gonna step outside and go wee-wee. 169 00:10:45,747 --> 00:10:47,658 Certainly Mr.Garrison. 170 00:10:50,987 --> 00:10:56,505 You love the planetarium. To be without the planetarium causes you horrible pain. 171 00:10:56,627 --> 00:10:59,557 All you want to do is help the planetarium thrive! 172 00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:03,258 To not do so makes your stomach ache with needle like sta... 173 00:11:03,307 --> 00:11:09,826 ..and right over here we see the constillation orion. Orion's belt is made up of three stars. 174 00:11:09,947 --> 00:11:11,938 - Dude, what just happened? - What do you mean? 175 00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:14,661 Come on, we gotta get out of here before something bad happens. 176 00:11:18,227 --> 00:11:22,186 - Don't pick your nose, hon. - I wasn't picking it, I had a itch for cryin out loud. 177 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:26,664 - Don't be nervous, I'm sure you'll win. - I dunno, there's a lot of competition here. 178 00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,453 You think I might win, mommy? 179 00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:32,454 I hope so honey. Then perhaps we can eat for a little while. 180 00:11:33,667 --> 00:11:37,182 - Hey look they're giving away bread outside! - Did you hear that mommy? 181 00:11:37,307 --> 00:11:40,538 Come on perhaps we can get some food in our stomachs! 182 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,346 Sike! 183 00:11:44,267 --> 00:11:47,064 What the hell are you boys doing, you're supposed to be in there. 184 00:11:47,065 --> 00:11:50,065 Mr.Garrison, we think that the planetarium guy is... 185 00:11:50,107 --> 00:11:52,302 Goodbye children, thanks for coming. 186 00:11:52,427 --> 00:11:56,818 - I wanna go again. I wanna go again! - Oh for pete's sake Clyde, you just went. 187 00:11:56,947 --> 00:12:00,193 Well Clyde, if you like the plane-arium so much, 188 00:12:00,194 --> 00:12:02,794 perhaps you'd like to do some volunteer work here. 189 00:12:02,827 --> 00:12:06,536 - Yes, yes please! - Me too I wanna do it! 190 00:12:08,267 --> 00:12:11,816 - Mr.Garrison? - Well I guess I could give them extra credit for it. 191 00:12:11,947 --> 00:12:17,305 Excellent! Why don't we step over here and I'll show all you children how to volunteer? 192 00:12:19,147 --> 00:12:22,981 - Dude, this isn't right. - Why? - We're kids dude. We don't volunteer for anything. 193 00:12:23,107 --> 00:12:24,533 Come on, we gotta see what's going on in there. 194 00:12:25,234 --> 00:12:27,234 Here's the control panel that operates all the stars. 195 00:12:27,387 --> 00:12:30,299 Kenny you go out there and tell us what you see. 196 00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:33,978 He hits this switch. 197 00:12:36,179 --> 00:12:37,279 I don't see it. 198 00:12:37,307 --> 00:12:40,458 - You see? Nothing dude, just a bunch of stars. - Yeah, I guess so. 199 00:12:42,959 --> 00:12:43,859 Oh dude! 200 00:12:43,987 --> 00:12:46,376 - What does that do? - I dunno. 201 00:12:47,707 --> 00:12:49,220 Kenny what's it doing? 202 00:12:50,267 --> 00:12:52,258 It says "maximum". 203 00:12:55,227 --> 00:12:59,106 - Oh my god! We've killed Kenny! - We're bastards! 204 00:13:01,267 --> 00:13:04,862 - Dude I told you something was up with this place! - We gotta go tell somebody quick! 205 00:13:07,863 --> 00:13:12,863 and GO...and Bingo was his name-o. Once a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-o. 206 00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:23,564 ...And Bingo was his name-o. Once a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-o. 207 00:13:26,665 --> 00:13:29,565 ...and Bingo was his naaamme-o. 208 00:13:30,347 --> 00:13:33,066 Thank you, uh Peter, we'll let you know very soon. 209 00:13:33,907 --> 00:13:38,025 - Next will be uh...Eric Theodore Cartman. - Hello everybody! 210 00:13:38,147 --> 00:13:41,105 - Now just do it like we rehearsed hon. - I know I know. 211 00:13:44,506 --> 00:13:48,106 She was hogged by the money! So hogged by her honey! 212 00:13:48,107 --> 00:13:52,807 She was hogged by the money... on the street hooray! 213 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:57,808 She was all about the money! So hogged by her honey! 214 00:13:57,809 --> 00:14:02,809 She was hogged by the money so you better treat her right... 215 00:14:07,187 --> 00:14:09,257 Well Eric Cartman, that certainly was... 216 00:14:09,387 --> 00:14:10,979 - insane. - Thank you. 217 00:14:11,107 --> 00:14:13,462 - We'll let you know. - Thank you. 218 00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:17,705 - Don't pick your nose, hon. - I'm not picking it ma! God damn it I had a itch! 219 00:14:18,507 --> 00:14:20,179 Geezes, where do we find these people? 220 00:14:23,787 --> 00:14:27,780 Our minds are one. Mmkay. 221 00:14:27,907 --> 00:14:31,786 Our thoughts are one....mmkay. 222 00:14:31,907 --> 00:14:33,863 This is the strangest thing I've ever seen. 223 00:14:33,987 --> 00:14:38,299 Please nurse, for a woman with a dead fetus on your head, you're not being very openminded. 224 00:14:39,987 --> 00:14:45,300 Open your mind, to your counselor. Open your mind. 225 00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:48,385 - Doctor Adams... - Yes... 226 00:14:48,507 --> 00:14:52,785 - He owns the planetarium, what about him? - He uses the machine. 227 00:14:52,907 --> 00:14:55,296 The star machine. Mmkay. 228 00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:58,624 He uses it to erase minds. 229 00:14:58,747 --> 00:15:03,616 - But why? - Planetarium. About to go out of business. 230 00:15:03,747 --> 00:15:08,821 - Adams had to create slaves to survive. - My god this is amazing! 231 00:15:08,947 --> 00:15:12,223 Please nurse you're throwing off my ching, mmkay? 232 00:15:15,527 --> 00:15:17,911 We certainly would like to congradulate all our finalists. 233 00:15:17,912 --> 00:15:20,712 Only one of our finalists can win the grand prize and, 234 00:15:20,847 --> 00:15:24,556 - unfortunately that finalist is Eric Cartman. - Yes! I'm the best! 235 00:15:24,687 --> 00:15:27,324 You were actually our last choice, but the other children had unexpectedly 236 00:15:27,325 --> 00:15:30,025 taken jobs as volunteers at the planetarium. 237 00:15:30,087 --> 00:15:31,964 - That's odd. - Sweeet! 238 00:15:32,087 --> 00:15:34,631 It appears that more and more South Park residents are 239 00:15:34,632 --> 00:15:37,732 dicovering the wonder and joy of the planetarium. 240 00:15:37,807 --> 00:15:40,424 Here with a special report is a 34 year old Asian man 241 00:15:40,425 --> 00:15:42,525 who looks strikingly simila to Recardo Montebon. 242 00:15:42,607 --> 00:15:46,590 Thanks Tom, yes indeed the planetarium has become very popular as word spreads, 243 00:15:46,591 --> 00:15:50,191 it really isn't as lame and stupid as one suspected. 244 00:15:50,207 --> 00:15:53,677 - I'm here with the planetarium operator, Dr.Adams. - Thank you, 245 00:15:53,807 --> 00:15:56,920 I'd like to open an invitation to all South Park residents, 246 00:15:56,921 --> 00:15:59,921 to come see a special free show this evening. 247 00:16:00,007 --> 00:16:05,286 I guarantee, it'll change the way you think about the plane-arium. 248 00:16:05,407 --> 00:16:10,083 So bring the whole family to the planeTArium, for a night of excitement and wonder. 249 00:16:11,247 --> 00:16:14,144 And then we turned the dial and Kenny went into a kind of... hypnosis. 250 00:16:14,145 --> 00:16:16,645 That's a pretty far fetched story, boys. 251 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:20,362 - But it's true dude! - Are you boys just sure you're not making this all up? 252 00:16:21,007 --> 00:16:25,398 - Yeah, pretty sure. - Well just as soon as I handle all the other crime in South Park, 253 00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:29,257 I'm gonna go with you to the planetarium so I can prove that nothing's wrong. 254 00:16:29,258 --> 00:16:31,008 What other crime in South Park? 255 00:16:31,087 --> 00:16:32,600 Oh yeah, let's go. 256 00:16:33,567 --> 00:16:38,118 - Ok, let's shoot the commercial. Where's our cheesy poof talent? - I'm over here! 257 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,683 Oh you look great hon! Mommy's fat little piggy! 258 00:16:43,327 --> 00:16:47,806 - Let's hurry, this costume is hot. - Ok roll camera, and action. 259 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,398 I love cheesy poofs, you love cheesy... 260 00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:52,399 Oh wait! Wait! You've got a little eye buger hon. 261 00:16:52,527 --> 00:16:55,121 - Oh mom for pete's sake! - Got it! 262 00:16:55,247 --> 00:16:57,878 - Aaand Action! - I love cheesy poofs... 263 00:16:58,047 --> 00:17:01,437 - Hold it! Cut! Can we get some more light on that backdrop? - Sure thing! 264 00:17:01,567 --> 00:17:04,081 - Oh man. Come on! - Got it! 265 00:17:04,207 --> 00:17:07,279 Ok here we go... and action. 266 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,080 I love cheesy poofs, you love cheesy poofs... 267 00:17:09,127 --> 00:17:12,517 - Cut! - What?! - I'm not liking the shoes, can we change the shoes? 268 00:17:12,518 --> 00:17:13,518 Oh god damn it! 269 00:17:15,087 --> 00:17:17,362 Oh hello officer of the law. 270 00:17:17,487 --> 00:17:20,957 - Hello Mr.Planetarium operator. - What brings you out here? 271 00:17:21,087 --> 00:17:24,626 Well these boys seem to think you're some kind of sick weirdo 272 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:28,627 that's got a master plan to screw with the minds of everyone in town. 273 00:17:30,087 --> 00:17:34,046 - Oh really. - Yeah, I just thought I'd come show them around. 274 00:17:34,167 --> 00:17:36,476 So they know there's nothing to be scared of. 275 00:17:36,607 --> 00:17:40,839 - Actually this is a pretty inopportune time. - Ok, I'll be quick then. 276 00:17:40,967 --> 00:17:43,242 Of course officer. Come on in. 277 00:17:46,127 --> 00:17:49,642 - Hello children. - Oh no! They got Chef too! 278 00:17:49,767 --> 00:17:55,444 - Welcome to the planetarium. - Well it's nice to see you finally got a real job Chef. 279 00:17:55,567 --> 00:18:00,880 - I love my work. - I know what you mean. I've always loved the planetarium too. 280 00:18:01,007 --> 00:18:05,797 - Would you like to see the stars officer? - NO! - That would be super dooper! 281 00:18:05,927 --> 00:18:07,406 Don't do it officer Barbrady! 282 00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:14,120 - Hi grandma, it's me Eric. - Oh hello Eric. Grandma sure has missed you! 283 00:18:14,247 --> 00:18:18,001 I just wanted to remind you I'm gonna be on Television Tonight, so be sure to watch. 284 00:18:18,127 --> 00:18:22,355 Oh I will Eric.You know I remember when I was a little girl 285 00:18:22,356 --> 00:18:25,502 and had my first talent show audition... - Ok bye. 286 00:18:26,727 --> 00:18:30,322 Hello, the Marshes aren't in right now, please leave a message. 287 00:18:30,447 --> 00:18:33,025 Stan, I'm gonna be on TV tonight, be sure to watch. 288 00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:37,538 Hello, you've reached the Broslofski's. Please leave a message. 289 00:18:38,207 --> 00:18:41,722 Where the hell is everybody? I'm gonna be on TV tonight, you guys better not miss it. 290 00:18:41,847 --> 00:18:46,398 - And this is the constillation called Casiopia. -Oh neato. 291 00:18:47,287 --> 00:18:52,759 And now officer, from this moment on, you will think that you are Elvis Presley. 292 00:18:52,887 --> 00:18:56,766 - To not be Elvis will cause you great pain. - Pain. 293 00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:59,483 You see children, there's no stopping me. 294 00:18:59,484 --> 00:19:02,884 Even your highly intelligent policeman are no match for me. 295 00:19:02,927 --> 00:19:05,122 - He's not highly intelligent. - Why are you doing this, dude? 296 00:19:05,247 --> 00:19:09,320 Why? Because nowadays kids have computers, surround sound television. 297 00:19:09,447 --> 00:19:11,721 They've forgotten all about plane-ariums. 298 00:19:11,722 --> 00:19:15,922 But I'll make them remember! Starting with the two of you! 299 00:19:16,207 --> 00:19:18,926 Terrance and Phillip will be right back after these announcements. 300 00:19:19,047 --> 00:19:22,446 - Oh dude here it comes! - Packed full of ingredients, Cheesy Poofs can really 301 00:19:22,447 --> 00:19:24,147 give you that quick pick me up. 302 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:29,238 - So remember... - I love cheesy poofs, you love cheesy poofs. 303 00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:33,463 If we didn't eat cheesy poofs, we'd be... 304 00:19:33,564 --> 00:19:34,464 Lame. 305 00:19:34,887 --> 00:19:36,917 And now back to Terrance and Phillip. 306 00:19:37,047 --> 00:19:39,920 Yes yes that was me!!!! I was on television!!! 307 00:19:40,887 --> 00:19:43,879 Ah hah! Caught you red-handed! Mmkay. 308 00:19:44,007 --> 00:19:49,445 - Mr.Mackey! - Officer Barbrady, this man is using some kind of mind control. 309 00:19:52,967 --> 00:19:54,567 What's wrong with him? 310 00:19:57,567 --> 00:20:02,004 - Oh no, apparently he thinks he's Charlton Heston. - No you idiot! He thinks he's Elvis! 311 00:20:02,127 --> 00:20:05,125 Elvis, escort our guests to the plane-arium. 312 00:20:05,126 --> 00:20:09,126 Oh, if you wouldn't mind, would you please follow me? 313 00:20:13,747 --> 00:20:15,897 Let's begin, shall we? 314 00:20:16,787 --> 00:20:18,620 And now you will remember nothing! 315 00:20:18,621 --> 00:20:23,921 Except that the plane-arium is the best thing you've ever known. 316 00:20:24,547 --> 00:20:29,905 Well well well, you guys can now kiss my ass because I was on Television! 317 00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:35,979 Ay didn't you guys see it? I was on television! 318 00:20:36,107 --> 00:20:40,339 You missed it! You missed it because of this stupid planetarium! 319 00:20:40,827 --> 00:20:43,261 Planetariums suck ass!!!! 320 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:49,781 - Cartman, you saved us. - What the hell are you talking about? 321 00:20:49,907 --> 00:20:52,102 Get over here and untie us. 322 00:20:52,227 --> 00:20:54,616 Eric, you really saved the day, mmkay. 323 00:20:54,747 --> 00:20:57,978 Not so fast there tubby. I'm just takin care of business. 324 00:20:58,107 --> 00:21:01,622 Think hard Elvis. You're not really the king of rock and roll. 325 00:21:01,747 --> 00:21:06,377 You're a fat stupid worthless policeman in a small town, mmkay? 326 00:21:06,507 --> 00:21:09,783 Oh, thank you from a fate worse than death counselor! 327 00:21:10,947 --> 00:21:12,665 Oh my god! Dr.Adams! 328 00:21:14,867 --> 00:21:18,416 - He got a full dose of the stars. - Yeah, with nobody around to say anything. 329 00:21:18,547 --> 00:21:22,586 Can you imagine it Stan. A mind... emptied... by that... thing. 330 00:21:24,107 --> 00:21:28,385 Wow, what a day this has been, I was on TV and I'm a hero. 331 00:21:28,507 --> 00:21:32,900 - Don't pick your nose hon. - GOD DAMN IT I WASN'T PICKING IT I HAD AN ITCH!!!