1 00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:40,901 Alright, children, as I'm sure you all remember, today we are going to continue our biology lesson… 2 00:00:40,902 --> 00:00:42,837 by dissecting an organism. 3 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:47,956 Now, what we are going to dissect today is the West Indian manatee. 4 00:00:47,957 --> 00:00:52,868 Manatees are mammals that live in the oceans and are often called the gentle clowns of the sea. 5 00:00:52,925 --> 00:00:55,627 Aha, Ms. Choksondik, aren't manatees endangered? 6 00:00:55,662 --> 00:00:59,630 They sure are, Wendy, and that's why we must learn what's inside them. 7 00:00:59,631 --> 00:01:02,475 Now, we don't have quite enough manatees to go around, 8 00:01:02,476 --> 00:01:04,566 so I think we're gonna have to split up into groups of four. 9 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,246 Hey! Ours is still alive! 10 00:01:06,281 --> 00:01:08,177 Oh, hold on. 11 00:01:10,627 --> 00:01:13,619 Now, children, our first incision will be along the abdomen. 12 00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:14,438 I can't do it, dude. 13 00:01:14,473 --> 00:01:16,976 Aw, don't be such a baby! You do it, Kenny. 14 00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:19,640 Come, on, Kenny! I'll give you five bucks to do it! 15 00:01:19,675 --> 00:01:20,506 (FIVE BUCKS???) 16 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,090 Too bad Cartman's missing this. He must be really sick. 17 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:26,869 Say Terrance, this body appears to have been moved since the murder. 18 00:01:26,870 --> 00:01:28,733 Look at the forensic evidence around the torso. 19 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,104 I don't see anything. 20 00:01:30,139 --> 00:01:34,740 Look closer. Closer. Hunh-nh. 21 00:01:34,775 --> 00:01:37,083 I still don't see anything, Phillip. 22 00:01:37,118 --> 00:01:38,172 Waitwait. 23 00:01:38,207 --> 00:01:40,190 I know what's gonna happen, Mom. You wanna know what's gonna happen? 24 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,832 Keep looking, Terrance. The forensic evidence is right around here. Ah! Af! 25 00:01:50,876 --> 00:01:52,420 That totally surprised me! 26 00:01:52,421 --> 00:01:53,421 I can't believe how the show manages to stay fresh. 27 00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:56,077 Eh yes, sweetie. 28 00:01:56,112 --> 00:01:59,740 Mom.can you go make me a toaster pastry chocolate-mix butter bar? 29 00:01:59,775 --> 00:02:02,340 Oohh, honey, why don't you make it yourself? 30 00:02:02,341 --> 00:02:04,375 Mommy's expecting some company. 31 00:02:04,495 --> 00:02:06,317 God, I have to everythng around here! 32 00:02:22,944 --> 00:02:25,795 I'mo drag home myself, babih. But the- 33 00:02:27,468 --> 00:02:28,880 What the hell's going on? 34 00:02:28,995 --> 00:02:33,663 Uh, sweetie, your friends wanted to have a "talk" with you. 35 00:02:33,698 --> 00:02:39,318 Eric, your friends and your family are all… concerned about your weight. M'kay? 36 00:02:39,353 --> 00:02:39,913 What?! 37 00:02:39,948 --> 00:02:41,760 We believe that you might have a problem. 38 00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:42,927 You're God-damn right I have a problem! 39 00:02:42,928 --> 00:02:44,742 Terrance and Phillip is on and I don't have anywhere to sit! 40 00:02:44,743 --> 00:02:45,889 Now what the hell is this?! 41 00:02:46,063 --> 00:02:47,934 It's called intervention, Eric. 42 00:02:47,969 --> 00:02:49,664 Your friends and I have all chipped in 43 00:02:49,665 --> 00:02:53,057 and we're going to send you up to a weight-management retreat. 44 00:02:53,109 --> 00:02:53,999 Fat camp? 45 00:02:54,034 --> 00:02:54,904 Yes, fat camp. 46 00:02:54,939 --> 00:02:56,890 Alright, I don't know who the hell put you all up to this, 47 00:02:56,891 --> 00:02:59,862 but I am sure as hell not going to any gay-ass fat camp! 48 00:02:59,907 --> 00:03:01,788 Now, Eric, all these people came here 49 00:03:01,789 --> 00:03:04,766 and paid to send you to camp because they care about you. 50 00:03:04,927 --> 00:03:08,378 Yeah, except for me. I just wanted to see the look on your face when they told you. 51 00:03:08,413 --> 00:03:10,823 Mom, tell them! Tell them I'm not fat, I'm just big-boned! 52 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:14,332 Tell them all those stories about how everyone in your famiy was big as a child but then grew into their bodies! 53 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,472 Oh, sweetie, those were all lies. You're just fat. 54 00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:22,885 And now we will be removing the spleen. 55 00:03:22,886 --> 00:03:25,401 Notice how the manatee's spleen is designed for a qu- 56 00:03:25,517 --> 00:03:28,256 Ah, Ms. Choksondik, can we have a quick word with you? 57 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:31,520 Alright, continue with the removal of the spleen, childen. I'll be right back. 58 00:03:31,555 --> 00:03:33,658 Aw, dude, check this out. 59 00:03:33,693 --> 00:03:34,867 That's so gross. 60 00:03:34,902 --> 00:03:36,589 Hey, Kenny. How much for you to eat this? 61 00:03:36,624 --> 00:03:37,795 (I'm not eatin' that!) 62 00:03:37,830 --> 00:03:38,814 I'll give you ten bucks to eat it. 63 00:03:38,849 --> 00:03:39,688 I'll throw in five. 64 00:03:39,723 --> 00:03:41,959 And so apparently there's been a little mixup. 65 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,722 The manatees were meant to go to the Denver Shelter Aquarium 66 00:03:44,723 --> 00:03:46,747 and the frogs were meant to come here. 67 00:03:46,931 --> 00:03:47,637 Oh dear. 68 00:03:47,672 --> 00:03:48,665 I'll throw in a dollar! 69 00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:49,357 I've got three. 70 00:03:49,392 --> 00:03:51,453 Come on, dude. All you gotta do is eat it very fast! 71 00:03:51,488 --> 00:03:52,960 forty-one bucks. 72 00:03:54,708 --> 00:03:55,894 Eww-ho-hoo! He did it! 73 00:03:55,929 --> 00:03:58,527 Alright, children, now, let's get back in our seats. 74 00:03:58,528 --> 00:04:02,604 Uh, we are now going to put the manatees back together. 75 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:08,581 …And it has basketball courts and tennis courts, 76 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,590 and you can call Mommy any time you want. 77 00:04:12,672 --> 00:04:14,608 Oh, sweetie-kins, don't be mad. 78 00:04:14,609 --> 00:04:16,391 I'm sure you're going to have a good time. 79 00:04:16,392 --> 00:04:18,996 And when you come back you'll be all healthy and thin. 80 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,632 Howdy there. I'm one of the weight counselors here. 81 00:04:22,633 --> 00:04:24,172 This must be Eric Cartman. 82 00:04:24,207 --> 00:04:26,717 Yes. I'm afraid he's a little moody. 83 00:04:26,752 --> 00:04:30,728 Oh, we'll change that. Hello, camper. My name is Rick. How are you doing? 84 00:04:30,763 --> 00:04:33,243 Well, I'm pissed off!, Rick! How are you? 85 00:04:33,278 --> 00:04:36,870 I'm doing great! Why don't you come on out and we'll get yo oriented. 86 00:04:36,871 --> 00:04:39,392 I'll take care of him from here, ma'am. 87 00:04:39,427 --> 00:04:41,204 Oh. Well, goodbye, sweetie. 88 00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:42,564 Don't touch me! 89 00:04:42,599 --> 00:04:45,718 Eric, this is the beginning of a whole new life for you! 90 00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:52,667 Have you got any candy? 91 00:04:52,702 --> 00:04:53,292 No. 92 00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:56,095 My mon says I ain't to eat no candy here. I'm s'psoed to lose weight. 93 00:04:56,537 --> 00:05:00,359 Alright! Everybody's here and that means we can get down to business! 94 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:04,163 Over the next few weeks we're gonna learn that losing weight is fun, right gang? 95 00:05:04,979 --> 00:05:05,657 Right. 96 00:05:06,529 --> 00:05:10,121 Wait a second. Do you kids hear something? I could've swore that- 97 00:05:11,124 --> 00:05:13,576 Oh no, kids! It's glutinous fat! 98 00:05:13,611 --> 00:05:16,845 I'm gonna take over your body and make you slow! 99 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,779 Oh! What are we going to do? 100 00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:22,824 Wait! I know! I could knock it out! With… Exercise! 101 00:05:22,825 --> 00:05:24,822 And… Proper Diet. 102 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:29,135 Oh no! Exercise and proper diet have killed me. 103 00:05:29,170 --> 00:05:31,932 I guess we took care of that bad old fat, didn't we kids? 104 00:05:31,967 --> 00:05:33,248 Yeah! 105 00:05:33,283 --> 00:05:34,800 Well, hold on a second. 106 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:37,776 Because that glutinous fat was really our good friend, Susan, 107 00:05:37,777 --> 00:05:39,862 who's another weight counselor! 108 00:05:39,897 --> 00:05:42,019 Heh! It was a lady in a costume! 109 00:05:42,054 --> 00:05:43,921 Would somebody put this retard out of his misery?! 110 00:05:45,768 --> 00:05:46,483 What's the matter? 111 00:05:46,518 --> 00:05:49,074 Kenny's not feeling so good. That manatee spleen made him sick. 112 00:05:49,109 --> 00:05:51,003 Uh oh. I guess we shouldn't have made him eat it. 113 00:05:54,050 --> 00:05:55,839 Well, at least you got it out of your system. 114 00:05:55,874 --> 00:05:59,575 Aw, dude! You can still kinda see the spleen! How much, Kenny? 115 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:00,148 (WHAT?!) 116 00:06:00,183 --> 00:06:01,738 I'll give you five bucks.to eat your puke. 117 00:06:01,773 --> 00:06:03,147 Huh-I'm in for five! 118 00:06:03,182 --> 00:06:03,768 Oh, you guys! 119 00:06:03,803 --> 00:06:04,575 I've got three. 120 00:06:04,610 --> 00:06:05,116 Six! 121 00:06:05,151 --> 00:06:07,593 Uh-here. Uh-you can scoop it up in my R. Kelly thermos. 122 00:06:11,206 --> 00:06:13,041 That's 19 bucks, Kenny! 123 00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:16,564 Kick ass, dude! 124 00:06:17,045 --> 00:06:19,285 You know, dude, there might be something to this. 125 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,768 Yeah. People are willing to pay big money to see Kenny do this stuff. 126 00:06:25,658 --> 00:06:27,724 Doing great kids! Come on! 127 00:06:33,791 --> 00:06:35,848 This… is… bullcrap! 128 00:06:36,566 --> 00:06:39,407 Well, I sure enjoyed my carrots and protein bar! How about you, gang? 129 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,063 I'm starving. This is it. I'm going to die here. 130 00:06:42,098 --> 00:06:46,301 I hope you all left room for dessert. Soybean pudding for everybody! 131 00:06:47,588 --> 00:06:49,496 Are you going to eat your soybean pudding? 132 00:06:49,531 --> 00:06:51,235 Take it! I can't eat this crap! 133 00:06:51,270 --> 00:06:53,157 Me neither. I have to have sugar or I'm going to die. 134 00:06:53,192 --> 00:06:56,918 Yeah, well, when I was in prison, we used to sneak stuff in by hiding it up oour ass. 135 00:06:57,405 --> 00:06:59,846 I have some Fudge 'Ems up my ass. You want some? 136 00:06:59,881 --> 00:07:01,911 Psss. Yeah, I'm not falling for that one again! 137 00:07:05,156 --> 00:07:06,268 Alright, Clyde Frog. 138 00:07:06,269 --> 00:07:09,012 We just gotta clear the counselor building and we're free. 139 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,415 We did it, Clyde Frog! 140 00:07:15,416 --> 00:07:18,572 Now the only question is, do we go home to our traitor moms and friends, 141 00:07:18,573 --> 00:07:20,594 or do we start a new life on the run? 142 00:07:21,322 --> 00:07:23,460 An ice cream truck! Hey wait! 143 00:07:23,461 --> 00:07:24,935 Boy, am I glad to see you! 144 00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:26,448 Can I interest you in some ice cream? 145 00:07:26,483 --> 00:07:29,283 You're damn right you can! Two Roller Pops, please! 146 00:07:29,870 --> 00:07:32,346 Alrighty, do you want this kind or this kind? 147 00:07:35,728 --> 00:07:37,534 They tricked us again, huh? 148 00:07:37,569 --> 00:07:40,525 Aw, God-damnit! LET ME OUT OF HMYA! 149 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,982 Hang on, we'll be back at camp in a matter of no time. 150 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:51,065 They always get us. Sometimes it's a ice cream truck, sometimes it's a taco stand. 151 00:07:51,066 --> 00:07:52,439 But they always fool us.. 152 00:07:52,637 --> 00:07:56,215 Heh-I can't help it. I'd give anything. Any amount of money for some candy. 153 00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:57,427 Hey kids! 154 00:07:57,462 --> 00:08:00,139 Looks like we had some attemptted escapees again tonight. 155 00:08:00,174 --> 00:08:03,545 Escape-aroo! Now campers, I know that camp is tough, 156 00:08:03,546 --> 00:08:05,539 but you have to believe that you can do it. 157 00:08:05,540 --> 00:08:08,772 And you have to know that until you drop the weight, you can't leave. 158 00:08:08,844 --> 00:08:09,987 Thre is no escape. 159 00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:12,172 So let's just all put on our try-hard helmets, 160 00:08:12,173 --> 00:08:15,646 and accept that the only way for us to get out of camp, is to LOSE THE WEIGHT 161 00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:16,927 Aw, damnit! 162 00:08:18,515 --> 00:08:20,060 That's what being young is all about. 163 00:08:20,126 --> 00:08:21,662 Thanks for coming, everybody. 164 00:08:21,663 --> 00:08:23,609 Uh what's all this about, Mrs. Cartman? 165 00:08:23,610 --> 00:08:26,138 Is Eric having trouble at havin' trouble at his weight-management camp? 166 00:08:26,156 --> 00:08:27,182 We knew he wouldn't make it. 167 00:08:27,217 --> 00:08:29,121 Oh, no. Quite the contrary. 168 00:08:29,122 --> 00:08:31,263 Eric showed up and surprised me last night. 169 00:08:31,264 --> 00:08:34,313 Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to present to you… 170 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,141 the new Eric Cartman. 171 00:08:36,306 --> 00:08:37,377 Hey, dudes! 172 00:08:39,134 --> 00:08:40,170 I don't believe it. 173 00:08:40,205 --> 00:08:43,245 Believe it. He lost 40 pounds at his fat camp. 174 00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:46,181 Eric, that's fantastic, m'kay?! 175 00:08:46,216 --> 00:08:48,383 Congratulations. How do you feel? 176 00:08:48,418 --> 00:08:49,685 I feel awesome! 177 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,292 What did they do with all the fat? 178 00:08:51,293 --> 00:08:53,434 There must have been enough to last an Eskimo family months. 179 00:08:53,477 --> 00:08:56,541 You know, Kyle? There was a time when your fat jokes would have gotten to me. 180 00:08:56,542 --> 00:08:58,702 But now I'm totally slim and totally happy! 181 00:08:58,703 --> 00:09:01,750 In fact, I'd say I'm a little bit trimmer than you, fatboy! 182 00:09:01,751 --> 00:09:03,343 Just kidding, Kyle. 183 00:09:03,351 --> 00:09:07,316 I made some healthy tofu pudding to celebrate. Who wants some? 184 00:09:07,351 --> 00:09:08,473 Memememeee! 185 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,025 Dude. I don't know if I'm going to like the new Eric Cartman. 186 00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:13,295 Did you like the old one? 187 00:09:13,330 --> 00:09:13,957 Good point. 188 00:09:13,992 --> 00:09:17,807 And now back to Jesus and Pals, on South Park Public Access. 189 00:09:17,842 --> 00:09:21,017 Back to our courageous story of a little boy's triumph over obesity. 190 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:25,187 Eric, yea. You found that the Spirit of the Lord inside you gave you strength. 191 00:09:25,222 --> 00:09:27,042 No. Actually, I found a diet that totally works. 192 00:09:27,077 --> 00:09:29,165 A little boy who overcame the odds. 193 00:09:29,166 --> 00:09:30,952 Let's hear it for Eric Cartman! 194 00:09:32,796 --> 00:09:36,063 Well, our second guest tonight is a young man named Kenny McCormick, 195 00:09:36,064 --> 00:09:38,118 who is going to eat dog crap. Kenny? 196 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,655 God-damnit, all I got was a little golf clap! 197 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,589 Thanks for coming on the show, Kenny. 198 00:10:05,624 --> 00:10:06,174 (Sure!) 199 00:10:06,175 --> 00:10:07,229 Do it again! 200 00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:10,441 Hey kid! I'll give you 20 bucks to eat a really old piece of bacon! 201 00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:11,485 This is ridiculous! 202 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:15,664 So. Kenny, how did you discover that you had this… talent? 203 00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:16,664 We thought of it, Jesus. 204 00:10:16,665 --> 00:10:19,315 I mean, Kenny's the one that does it all, but we were the masterminds of the whole thing. 205 00:10:19,350 --> 00:10:21,443 I can't say I approve of this, my children. 206 00:10:22,318 --> 00:10:23,367 Huh? Why not? 207 00:10:23,402 --> 00:10:26,184 Because Kenny is only doing things that anybody could do. 208 00:10:26,185 --> 00:10:28,743 For money. He's a prostitute. 209 00:10:28,778 --> 00:10:31,474 I'll pay him 50 bucks to eat someone else's vomit. 210 00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:34,277 -What's a prostitute? -I don't know. 211 00:10:37,850 --> 00:10:39,231 Hello there, children! 212 00:10:39,266 --> 00:10:40,011 Hey, Chef: 213 00:10:40,046 --> 00:10:41,354 Chef, what's a prostitute? 214 00:10:42,110 --> 00:10:43,595 Dag-nabbit children! 215 00:10:43,596 --> 00:10:47,228 How come every time you come in here you gotta be askin' me questons that I shouldn't be answering? 216 00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,456 Chef, what's the clitoris? 217 00:10:48,457 --> 00:10:49,926 What's a lesbian, Chef? 218 00:10:49,927 --> 00:10:51,678 How come they call it a rim jub, Chef? 219 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:55,792 For once, can't just come in here and say, "Hi Chef. Nice day, isn't it?" 220 00:10:55,809 --> 00:10:56,941 Hi Chef. Nice day, isn't it? 221 00:10:56,976 --> 00:10:58,977 It sure is! Thank you. 222 00:10:59,012 --> 00:11:00,087 Chef, what's a prostitute? 223 00:11:00,122 --> 00:11:03,426 Uh uh! You children are gonna get me in trouble with the principal again. 224 00:11:03,461 --> 00:11:04,787 Lunchtime! I'm starved! 225 00:11:04,822 --> 00:11:07,084 Oh my God. Eric? 226 00:11:07,119 --> 00:11:07,665 That's me. 227 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,461 Chef was just about to tell us what a protitute is. 228 00:11:10,527 --> 00:11:12,811 Why do you need to know what a prostitue is anyway?! 229 00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:15,735 Because Jesus told us that Kenny's a prostitute. Is he? 230 00:11:15,770 --> 00:11:16,477 (Yeah. Am I?) 231 00:11:16,512 --> 00:11:19,676 Well, no, uh of course Kenny is not a prostitute. 232 00:11:19,711 --> 00:11:20,290 Why? 233 00:11:20,325 --> 00:11:23,231 Well, because, children, a prostitute is someone who… 234 00:11:23,232 --> 00:11:25,685 you could pay for certain services. 235 00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:26,327 Like what? 236 00:11:26,362 --> 00:11:28,471 Like keeping you company. Understand? 237 00:11:28,506 --> 00:11:29,196 No. 238 00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:32,009 You see, chidren, sometimes a man needs to be with a woman. 239 00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:34,015 But sometimes, when the lovin' is over, 240 00:11:34,016 --> 00:11:37,221 the woman just wants to talk and talk and talk and talk. 241 00:11:37,256 --> 00:11:39,702 But a prostitute is someonen who would love you 242 00:11:39,737 --> 00:11:45,117 No matter who you are, or what you look like. Yes, it's true, children. 243 00:11:46,433 --> 00:11:48,484 That's not why you pay a prostitute, 244 00:11:48,519 --> 00:11:52,715 no, you don't pay her to stay, you pay her to leave afterwards. 245 00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:58,983 That's why I pays a lot for prostitutes! Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. James Taylor. 246 00:11:59,877 --> 00:12:02,075 A prostitute is like any other woman 247 00:12:02,110 --> 00:12:05,688 They all trade somethin' for sex and they do it well. 248 00:12:05,723 --> 00:12:07,705 And that's why I say- 249 00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:10,094 Prostitutes! Prostitutes! They- 250 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,343 …James Taylor, what the hell are you doin' in here?! 251 00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:18,734 Singing' about prostitutes to the children! 252 00:12:18,735 --> 00:12:20,510 Get out of here! 253 00:12:22,193 --> 00:12:23,932 …These children tricked me! 254 00:12:33,672 --> 00:12:35,980 Oh, there you are. Alright, I got the goods. 255 00:12:35,981 --> 00:12:38,104 Some candy bars, a few donuts, and some beef gravy. 256 00:12:38,119 --> 00:12:39,483 Is anyone starting to suspect anything? 257 00:12:39,518 --> 00:12:41,671 Nobody. Your mom even thinks I'm a skinny you. 258 00:12:41,706 --> 00:12:43,454 Ahawesome! Alright, throw it over! 259 00:12:43,489 --> 00:12:45,438 Uh uh. One thing. I want a bigger cut. 260 00:12:45,439 --> 00:12:45,898 What?! 261 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:46,877 I'm the one risking my ass, 262 00:12:46,878 --> 00:12:49,820 running around in that stupid town pretending to be you and collecting all the food to bring up here! 263 00:12:49,821 --> 00:12:51,744 All you have to do is sit back and sell it to all the fat kids! 264 00:12:51,786 --> 00:12:54,386 Alright alright! Keep your voice down! I'll bump you up to 10%. 265 00:12:54,421 --> 00:12:55,010 Twenty. 266 00:12:55,045 --> 00:12:56,203 Suck my balls, 20! 267 00:12:56,238 --> 00:12:58,168 Fine! Then I shall bid you good day! 268 00:12:58,203 --> 00:12:59,552 Waitwaitwaitwait! Fine, 20! 269 00:12:59,553 --> 00:13:02,425 But just remember that your parents think that you're in the drug rehab center next door! 270 00:13:02,426 --> 00:13:04,219 You blow your cover and we're both screwed! 271 00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:10,517 You guys! You have to check this tape out! 272 00:13:10,552 --> 00:13:12,481 Ey, we're trying to study. Finals are tomorrow. 273 00:13:12,516 --> 00:13:13,998 No, dude, check this out! 274 00:13:13,999 --> 00:13:16,945 It's a video: this kid, he does all kinds of crazy stuff. 275 00:13:18,193 --> 00:13:22,724 Check it out! He jumped into a Porto-Potty at a construction site and stayed there for four days! 276 00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:29,092 Oh, gro-hoss 277 00:13:29,127 --> 00:13:29,990 Sick! 278 00:13:30,025 --> 00:13:32,511 That's awesome! Hey guys! Check this out! 279 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:37,772 Get ready for the Krrrrrrazy Kenny Show! 280 00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:42,117 And now here's your host, the kid who will do anythng to himself for money, 281 00:13:42,118 --> 00:13:45,590 Krrrra--a--a-a-azy Kenny! 282 00:13:46,727 --> 00:13:49,249 Kenny, through the past weeks we've seen you eat mice, 283 00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:51,612 pretend to kill newborn babies to shock their mothers and 284 00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,239 …wash your hair with battery acid. 285 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,467 The question in all our minds is, who-haht are you gonna do next? 286 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,426 (Well, I'm gonna give my grandfather a full-body sensual massage.) 287 00:14:00,461 --> 00:14:02,887 Whoa-ho ho! You heard him, folks! 288 00:14:02,888 --> 00:14:08,129 Kenny is going to give a sensual full-body massage to his own grandfather! 289 00:14:25,469 --> 00:14:27,359 Wow! This is Kenny's best show ever! 290 00:14:27,394 --> 00:14:28,600 This is so juvenile. 291 00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,477 Cartman, what the hell's the matter with you? 292 00:14:30,512 --> 00:14:32,108 Yeah, you've gotten lame since you got skinny. What's up? 293 00:14:32,143 --> 00:14:34,710 Eh, nothing. Hey, can I have some of that licorice to take home? 294 00:14:36,399 --> 00:14:38,172 Alright campers, good work today. 295 00:14:38,173 --> 00:14:41,267 Lights out, and we'll see you tomorrow for more exercise and proper diet. 296 00:14:42,979 --> 00:14:44,611 All beddy-byes for the night, are they? 297 00:14:44,646 --> 00:14:48,096 I don't know what we're doing wrong, Susan. These kids aren't losing the weight. 298 00:14:48,131 --> 00:14:50,824 We'll just have to give them more time. They'll do it! 299 00:14:50,825 --> 00:14:52,171 They'll do it!! 300 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:55,958 Alright, they're gone! 301 00:14:58,078 --> 00:15:00,377 The Cartman store is open! 302 00:15:02,390 --> 00:15:05,316 Two donuts and a pack of licorice, please. 303 00:15:05,351 --> 00:15:06,915 Two donuts and a pack of licorice. 304 00:15:06,916 --> 00:15:09,204 Well, Tony, the usual? 305 00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,233 Why are you crying, Chad? 306 00:15:14,268 --> 00:15:16,174 Cause I'm always gonna be fat. 307 00:15:16,175 --> 00:15:20,812 I don't wanna eat no sweets, but I can't control myself when they're right in front of me like this. 308 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,476 All my life I've been fat. 309 00:15:24,477 --> 00:15:28,589 I've beh- I've been to seven camps and I swore to my momma that I'd lose the weight. 310 00:15:28,590 --> 00:15:31,478 I want to, but I can't help myself. 311 00:15:33,917 --> 00:15:37,531 Hey, Chad, eh… You know what you need? You need a friend. 312 00:15:38,264 --> 00:15:39,502 I'd, I do? 313 00:15:39,537 --> 00:15:42,216 Yes. A chocolate friend. 314 00:15:43,448 --> 00:15:45,681 Mr. Candy Bar doesn't judge you, Chad. 315 00:15:45,682 --> 00:15:48,289 Mr. Candy Bar likes you just the way you are. 316 00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:50,451 Look at how yummy and sweet he is. 317 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,624 …There you go. That'll just be four dollars. 318 00:16:02,769 --> 00:16:04,346 …There you go. 319 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:07,713 This week on Pay Per View, Krazy Kenny will crawl up into a woman's uterus 320 00:16:07,714 --> 00:16:09,448 and stay there for six hours. 321 00:16:09,449 --> 00:16:12,040 Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime event. Order now! 322 00:16:13,763 --> 00:16:16,450 Alright, so we're back talkin' to three competing celebrities: 323 00:16:16,451 --> 00:16:19,522 Tom Green, Johnny Knoxville from MTV's Jackass and Krazy Kenny. 324 00:16:19,559 --> 00:16:20,261 Hey, Howard. 325 00:16:20,296 --> 00:16:22,862 Krazy Kenny is here to promote his Pay-Per-View special this week, 326 00:16:22,863 --> 00:16:27,796 where he will crawl up into a bus driver's uterus and stay there for six hous. 327 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,335 Now, some people that all you guys do is perform sick and 328 00:16:31,336 --> 00:16:34,508 disgusting acts for shock value and money, which makes you whores. 329 00:16:34,509 --> 00:16:36,179 But I'd like to prove them wrong. 330 00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:38,557 So what I'm gonna do… is I'm gonna offer each of you 331 00:16:38,558 --> 00:16:41,634 $50,000 to give me oral sex right now. 332 00:16:41,691 --> 00:16:42,745 -I'm in. -Me too. 333 00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:45,396 -(And me!) -Fine! I'll do it for 40! 334 00:16:45,358 --> 00:16:46,752 -20! -(…Ten bucks!) 335 00:16:46,592 --> 00:16:48,289 Ooh, the kid says he'll do it for ten bucks. 336 00:16:48,324 --> 00:16:49,158 Damnit. I'm out. 337 00:16:49,193 --> 00:16:50,765 Me too. I guess he is the biggest whore. 338 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,687 Alright, let's get going, then. Can we cut the cameras? 339 00:16:54,443 --> 00:16:56,235 And we're gonna reach fo the sky… 340 00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:58,240 And down to the ground. 341 00:16:58,788 --> 00:17:00,677 And up to the sky… 342 00:17:02,139 --> 00:17:03,827 And down to the ground. 343 00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:05,197 Please, Mr. Sanders. 344 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,614 No! I have had it! 345 00:17:06,649 --> 00:17:07,217 What's happening? 346 00:17:07,252 --> 00:17:09,147 Horace's parents want to take him home. 347 00:17:09,182 --> 00:17:10,600 Oh! But he's not ready yet. 348 00:17:10,635 --> 00:17:12,839 Look at what you've done to my boy! 349 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,641 You told Horace that he was responsible for his weight! 350 00:17:15,642 --> 00:17:17,814 You made him believe that with exercise and proper diet, 351 00:17:17,815 --> 00:17:21,207 he could be thin! When we told you it was his genetics! 352 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,961 They can lose the weight if they try. 353 00:17:22,996 --> 00:17:25,256 Look at these kids! They're not getting any thinner! 354 00:17:25,257 --> 00:17:26,539 Your camp is a fraud! 355 00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:30,640 You need to accept the fact that most fat people are just genetically fat! 356 00:17:30,656 --> 00:17:33,065 Please, sir, if you give us one more week,… 357 00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:33,865 Your time is up! 358 00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:35,299 Yeah, your time is up! 359 00:17:35,334 --> 00:17:39,358 And I'm going to call all the other parents to tell them to come claim their kids as well! 360 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,174 Your camp is a WASTE …of time! 361 00:17:41,182 --> 00:17:42,926 -But, Dad, I… -What?! 362 00:17:44,036 --> 00:17:45,039 …Nothin'. 363 00:17:46,257 --> 00:17:47,672 We're in trouble, Rick. 364 00:17:50,604 --> 00:17:52,637 Alright, Ms. Crabtree. Is it comf'table enough? 365 00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,703 HOW LONG HAVE I GOT TO SIT HERE? 366 00:17:54,738 --> 00:17:55,515 Six hours. 367 00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:58,881 HELL, I'LL DO SIX HOURS FOR THE FIVE HUNDRED BUCKS YOU'RE PAYING ME! 368 00:17:58,916 --> 00:17:59,482 Great. 369 00:17:59,517 --> 00:18:02,345 You guys! It's Kenny! He's been arrested for prostitution in New York! 370 00:18:02,786 --> 00:18:03,343 For what? 371 00:18:03,378 --> 00:18:04,727 For giving Howard Stern a hummer! 372 00:18:04,762 --> 00:18:05,555 Who-what's a hummer?? 373 00:18:05,590 --> 00:18:08,529 I don't know! All I know is Kenny is in jail for at least three months! 374 00:18:08,564 --> 00:18:10,796 Three months?! But the per-per-view is tomorrow! 375 00:18:10,831 --> 00:18:11,530 I know! 376 00:18:14,206 --> 00:18:16,835 He worked so hard, come so close. 377 00:18:16,836 --> 00:18:19,476 Now we'll never see Kenny crawl up into Ms. Crabtree's uterus. 378 00:18:19,511 --> 00:18:21,856 You know, maybe we've all learned something here. 379 00:18:21,857 --> 00:18:25,047 I mean, we set Kenny up to further and further himself each time, 380 00:18:25,048 --> 00:18:26,564 havin' to always outdo himself. 381 00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:28,315 Now he's in jail for being a whore. 382 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:31,221 And perhaps, just perhaps, we are to blame. 383 00:18:32,747 --> 00:18:35,460 …Alright, that does it! This has been bothering the hell out of me! 384 00:18:36,544 --> 00:18:38,961 I knew it! You're not Cartman at all! 385 00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:45,481 Well, we'vee seen him do just about every disgusting 386 00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:47,955 thing in the book, and today live on pay-per-view, 387 00:18:47,956 --> 00:18:52,640 Krazy Kenny is going to crawl into a woman's uterus for six hours! 388 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:58,714 Well, Ms. Crabtree, your cervix has been dilated, your womb equipped with oxygen- How do you feel? 389 00:18:58,803 --> 00:19:03,844 I feel great! I haven't had this much attention paid to my coot since I was 16! 390 00:19:03,879 --> 00:19:04,669 Hooray! 391 00:19:04,704 --> 00:19:08,236 Well, let's bring out the man of the hour, you know him as the- 392 00:19:08,271 --> 00:19:09,766 Don't wory, dude. You're gonna do great. 393 00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:11,669 No way! I'm not doing this! 394 00:19:11,704 --> 00:19:14,644 Hoh, you're doing it, or else we're gonna bust your whole scheme wide open, 395 00:19:14,645 --> 00:19:17,308 and tell your mom you haven't actually been at your drug rehab this whole time! 396 00:19:17,343 --> 00:19:18,362 But this isn't fair! 397 00:19:18,397 --> 00:19:19,113 Deal, druggie! 398 00:19:19,148 --> 00:19:20,767 (But I'm gonna starve to death if I get in there) 399 00:19:21,176 --> 00:19:23,595 And here he is, Kenny McCormick! 400 00:19:31,221 --> 00:19:33,568 We can watch him on the video monitors. How are you doin' in there, Kenny? 401 00:19:35,379 --> 00:19:36,474 That's my boy! 402 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:38,854 Good-bye, Chad. 403 00:19:38,889 --> 00:19:40,713 We'll be wanting our refund, naturally. 404 00:19:40,748 --> 00:19:41,716 Naturally. 405 00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:43,315 Good-bye, Alice. 406 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,821 Good-bye. Thank you. 407 00:19:44,856 --> 00:19:46,878 Oh, don't thnak us. We failed you. 408 00:19:46,913 --> 00:19:49,015 …65, 66, 67… 409 00:19:49,919 --> 00:19:51,892 Wait a second! This isn't right! 410 00:19:52,656 --> 00:19:55,227 It's time for me to be responsible for my own actions! 411 00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:58,512 Mom, Dad, we've been eating candy this whole time! 412 00:19:58,513 --> 00:20:00,606 Eric Cartman's been sneaking in junk food! 413 00:20:00,641 --> 00:20:02,334 Eh- shut up, you half-Chad! 414 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:06,332 No, he's right. The counselors've been doing a good job. We've just been cheating. 415 00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:07,185 Yeah. 416 00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:10,516 I believe I can lose the weight with exercise and proper diet. 417 00:20:10,517 --> 00:20:12,438 I don't wanna make excuses no more. 418 00:20:12,473 --> 00:20:12,977 Me neither. 419 00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:13,563 Yeah. 420 00:20:14,203 --> 00:20:17,032 If you take us back, we promise we won't cheat. 421 00:20:17,067 --> 00:20:19,491 Well, it's alright with me. Parents? 422 00:20:20,694 --> 00:20:22,007 Well, what the heck. 423 00:20:22,008 --> 00:20:25,025 Maybe when you're all donen you can teaach me a thing or two, huh son? 424 00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:27,191 You know? You guys are right. 425 00:20:27,192 --> 00:20:29,512 I'm sick of being the fat kid, too. 426 00:20:29,513 --> 00:20:31,720 I've been making excuses all my life. 427 00:20:31,721 --> 00:20:35,223 But I know deep down that if I took responsibility and really tried hard, 428 00:20:35,224 --> 00:20:38,425 and we all tried together, well we really can lose the weight! 429 00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:40,416 Oh no, not you. You're not welcome here anymore. 430 00:20:41,348 --> 00:20:42,014 What?! 431 00:20:42,049 --> 00:20:42,803 Bubbye. 432 00:20:45,819 --> 00:20:47,358 Well, screw you, fatasses! 433 00:20:53,302 --> 00:20:55,931 Four, three, two, one! 434 00:20:55,966 --> 00:20:58,485 He did it! Come on out, Kenny! 435 00:20:58,959 --> 00:21:01,578 You made it six hours, Kenny. Come on out of there. 436 00:21:02,852 --> 00:21:04,825 Uh, Ms. Crabtree, maybe you could give him a little push. 437 00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:14,343 He's dead. The pressure must have killed him. 438 00:21:14,378 --> 00:21:16,998 I told you I was a tight virgin flower. 439 00:21:17,033 --> 00:21:19,349 Oh my God, they've killed Kenny! …Sort of. 440 00:21:19,384 --> 00:21:23,585 Yeah. They've kinda killed Kenny-'s look-alike. You bastards! 441 00:21:23,620 --> 00:21:26,066 Well, he gave his life for our amusement. 442 00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:28,209 One little boy who dared to be different. 443 00:21:28,210 --> 00:21:30,727 Let us never forget… Kenny McCormick. 444 00:21:33,106 --> 00:21:34,570 Who was that?