1
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,100
* i'm going down
to south park *
2
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,600
* gonna have
myself a time *
3
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,100
* friendly faces
everywhere *
4
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,200
* humble folks
without temptation *
5
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,200
* going down
to south park *
6
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,000
* gonna leave my
woes behind *
7
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,700
* ample parking
day or night *
8
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,500
* people spouting
"howdy neighbor" *
9
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:22,800
* headin' on up
to south park *
10
00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:24,000
* gonna see
if i can't unwind *
11
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:28,400
* tim-Tmah tim-Mah,
tim-Mah tim-Mah timmy tim-Mah *
12
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,400
* so come on down
to south park *
13
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,500
* and meet some
friends of mine *
14
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,500
Oh cool, a preview!
15
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,300
Coming this summer,
16
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,000
It's the classic film
that changed america.
17
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,700
"E.T. The extra-Terrestrial"!
18
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:45,900
The new, redone version
for 2002!
19
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,300
All the e.T. Effects have been
digitally upgraded.
20
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,700
All the guns have been digitally
changed to walkie-Talkies.
21
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,000
And the word "terrorist" has
been changed to "hippie".
22
00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:55,300
Aw, dude, why would
they do that?
23
00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:57,200
Yeah, hippies and terrorists
are the same thing.
24
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,000
No, dude, spielberg changed
terrorist to hippie
25
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000
To make e.T. More p.C.
26
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,900
That's gay.
27
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:03,500
Coming this summer,
28
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:06,400
It's the motion picture
that changed america.
29
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,500
"Saving private ryan",
the re-Re-Release,
30
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,500
Where the word "nazi"
has been changed to
31
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:12,400
"Persons with political
differences".
32
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:15,400
And all the guns have been
replaced by walkie-Talkies.
33
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:26,000
Why the hell do these directors
keep updating their movies?!
34
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,900
And now for your
feature presentation!
35
00:01:27,900 --> 00:01:29,900
The classic re-Re-Re-Release
36
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,800
Of "star wars: the empire
strikes back!
37
00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:34,300
Woo hoo!
38
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,000
Aaaaaghhh!
39
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,400
God dammit,
that pisses me off!
40
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:45,900
Yeah, we want
our money back!
41
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,300
Sorry, suckers!
42
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:48,800
You asshole!
43
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,300
Why don't they leave
those movies alone!
44
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:51,800
We liked them the way
they were!
45
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,200
Don't you see
what this means?
46
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:55,300
All our favorite movies are
going to be changed and updated
47
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:57,100
Until we can't even
recognize them anymore!
48
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,200
Tweek is right.
49
00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,700
It isn't fair for those
asshole directors
50
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,200
To keep changing their movies
and making them different!
51
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,900
Movies are art and art
shouldn't be modified!
52
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,200
Yeah, what if
they had modified
53
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,400
The roman colosseum
every year?
54
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,200
It would just be another
big "douchie" stadium now!
55
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:07,900
We have to
do something!
56
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:08,800
Let's form a club!
57
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:09,800
Yeah, we could
form a club
58
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:12,100
That takes food stamps
from poor people
59
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:13,600
And then sells them back to
the government for a profit!
60
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,000
No, fat-Ass!
61
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,000
I mean a club to protect
films from their directors
62
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,600
So they can't be
messed with!
63
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:20,300
Yeah, we'll be the "save films
from their own directors' club".
64
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:21,200
Yeah!
65
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:22,300
No!
No, no!
66
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,000
I don't wanna form a club!
That's too much pressure!
67
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,000
Look, i'm supposed to
take it easy.
68
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,700
Just watch the clouds,
sit in the grass.
69
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,500
If we form a club there'll be
responsibilities,
70
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:29,000
Commitments!
71
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:29,900
Tweek, now god dammit,
72
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,900
We picked you to
replace kenny
73
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:32,600
Because we thought you were
a team player!
74
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:33,600
I'm not!
75
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,400
I'm not
a team player!
76
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:36,800
Now either you stop with
these "faggotronics"
77
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:37,900
Or we'll find someone
to replace you!
78
00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:40,200
Aaagh!
Oh, jesus!
79
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:45,300
Dude, that sign sucks,
nobody's gonna show up!
80
00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:46,500
What's wrong with it?
81
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,600
Look at it, dude,
82
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,200
You're not offering
any fabulous prizes.
83
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,800
You have to offer
fabulous prizes
84
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:51,600
If you want people to show up
for your stupid crap.
85
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,500
Here...
86
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:56,900
Free hat?
87
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,700
Yeah, if you offer free hats,
maybe people will show up.
88
00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,800
But we don't
have hats!
89
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:00,800
We can make them
out of paper.
90
00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:02,400
It's not hard, just stupid
little paper hats.
91
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,200
People just need free stuff.
92
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,000
Don't you guys
know anything?
93
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,100
You see?
94
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,700
First we were just forming a
club, now we have to make hats!
95
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:09,800
Where does it end?!
96
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,000
Alright, let's go get
the gymnasium ready.
97
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:11,700
Tweek, you go make
50 hats.
98
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,000
50 hats?
Oh jesus!
99
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:17,400
I'll never make it!
I'll never make it!
100
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,400
Tweek!
101
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,000
Calm down, son.
102
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,400
Remember what
dr. Norris told you-
103
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,700
Find your center.
104
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:23,700
My center?
105
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,500
My center.
106
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:28,200
Calm... puppies.
107
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,800
Tweek!
108
00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:36,300
Tweek!
109
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,500
Tweeeeeekk!
110
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,100
How many hats
have you made?
111
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,200
Oh god!
112
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,100
We only have until 10 a.M.
Tomorrow, get the lead out!
113
00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:43,300
Aagh, oh god!
114
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:48,300
You guys,
we have a big problem!
115
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,200
I was up all night
making hats-
116
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:51,500
I only slept for an hour-
117
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,300
And then i dreamt about
making hats!
118
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,400
But i only made 15!
119
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,100
Calm down, tweek.
15 might be enough.
120
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,700
Yeah, let's see if anyone's
even shown up yet.
121
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:05,500
Dude, there's like a thousand
people in there!
122
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,100
A thousand?
Oh jesus, man!
123
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:08,600
I don't have nearly
a thousand hats!
124
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,000
They're gonna kick
your ass, tweek!
125
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,100
Tweek, it's okay!
126
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,900
Look, maybe these people
all turned out
127
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,500
Because they believe
in saving films!
128
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,300
Maybe they don't even care
about the free hat!
129
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,100
Free hat!
Free hat!...
130
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,000
Oh god!
131
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:21,100
I told you guys-
132
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,500
Never underestimate
the power of a free hat.
133
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,300
I gotta move away,
you guys!
134
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:26,200
Relax, tweek, we're just gonna
have to go in there
135
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,000
And explain what happened.
136
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:31,200
There are more important things
right now than free hats.
137
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,000
Okay, uh, we wanna thank you
all for coming.
138
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,600
We're really happy to see such
enthusiasm for our cause.
139
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:41,100
Uh, one thing
before i continue:
140
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:44,300
Unfortunately, we don't have enough
of the free hats for everyone.
141
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,600
Uh, excuse me?
142
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,100
Yes, we apologize,
but our friend tweek here,
143
00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:51,400
Didn't make
enough of them.
144
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,200
Oh jesus, don't
tell them it was me!
145
00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:54,800
We don't care about that.
146
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:55,900
You don't?
147
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,900
You mean you just came because
you believe in our cause?
148
00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:58,200
Yeah, free hat!
149
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,000
What?!
150
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,200
Hat mccullough!
151
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,200
He was sent to
prison in '82
152
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,400
And we believe he should
be released!
153
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,200
Yeah!
154
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,400
Free hat!
Free hat!...
155
00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:11,600
Okay, apparently, there's been
a bit of a misunderstanding.
156
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,500
This is a rally to save films
from their directors.
157
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,900
To do what?
158
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,700
We believe that films are pieces
of art that must be preserved
159
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,100
From the perverse hands
of their aging filmmakers.
160
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:24,700
Oh... sorry.
161
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,800
Come on, everyone, guess
we're in the wrong place.
162
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:28,600
Free hat!
Free hat!
163
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,300
Wait, wait, wait!
164
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:31,800
Don't you see what's happening
out there?
165
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,500
The films that you all grew up
with, that touched your lives
166
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,200
And are a part of your soul, are
now being updated and changed.
167
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,000
Join us and we can be a group
that makes a difference!
168
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,500
Can we also work towards
freeing hat?
169
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,000
Uh, sure, and we'll also
try to free hat.
170
00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:50,100
Free hat!
Free hat!...
171
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,800
212, 213, 214 members!
172
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,800
You guys, you guys!
173
00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:57,700
Oh god!
I've got terrible news!
174
00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,800
What?
175
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,100
Ted koppel wants us
to appear on "nightline"
176
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,100
To talk about our cause!
177
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,500
Really?
That's great!
178
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:04,800
No, it isn't, man!
179
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:06,300
That is way
too much pressure!
180
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:07,800
If we go on nightline, the whole
country can hear about
181
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,500
What's happening to
our classic films!
182
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,200
Just remember that
i do all the talking.
183
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,200
You? Why?
184
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:13,800
Because i'm the
official spokesman.
185
00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:14,900
I got dibs on it.
186
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,400
When did we do
dibs for it?
187
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:17,500
Just now.
One two three- Dibs!
188
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,000
Knee.
189
00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:21,100
Alright, fine, you're
the spokesman, cartman.
190
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,200
But you better not
screw it up!
191
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,200
What could
possibly go wrong?
192
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,000
A new movement is
sweeping the country,
193
00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:29,200
Led by four determined boys
from south park, colorado.
194
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:32,200
The organization was created
to protect hollywood's
195
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,100
Classic films from the hands
of their directors,
196
00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:37,100
And also to free
hat mccullough.
197
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,600
So boys, i'll ask you the question
that's on everyone's minds.
198
00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:42,200
Why does your organization want
to free hat mccullough,
199
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,900
The convicted, confessed serial
murderer of 23 babies?
200
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,000
I believe that can
best be answered
201
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,500
By our official
spokesman, tweek.
202
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:52,900
Agh!
203
00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:55,000
Well, hat mccullough admitted
he killed those toddlers,
204
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:56,700
Why do you want him free?
205
00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:59,000
Oh, jesus, man!
206
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,400
Just answer me
this, tweek-
207
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,600
What do you see as positive
about toddler murder?
208
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:08,000
Uh, uh, it's...
it's easy?
209
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,400
Yes, it is easy.
210
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,500
Alright, then on to
your other cause.
211
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,200
"Saving films from
their directors".
212
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,900
What got you boys
interested in this?
213
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:18,100
Especially given your
pro-Toddler murder status.
214
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,200
We believe that films have to be
taken away from people like
215
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:22,300
Steven spielberg and george
lucas because they're insane.
216
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,500
I'm glad you said that, boys,
because joining us now
217
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,600
Are steven spielberg
and george lucas!
218
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:27,200
Oh christ, agh!
219
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:28,900
Hello, ted.
Hi, ted.
220
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,700
Gentlemen, these toddler murder
fans think that you're insane
221
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:34,500
And shouldn't be allowed to
alter your films. Your response?
222
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:35,700
Well, first of all,
both george and i
223
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,000
Are very firmly against
the murdering of toddlers.
224
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:39,900
Hear, hear.
225
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,300
Dude, that's steven spielberg
and george lucas.
226
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:42,500
Get me out of here!
227
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:43,700
Please somebody get me
out of here!
228
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:44,900
And as for
altering our films,
229
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,600
All we're doing reaching a
new audience with our movies.
230
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,300
As the makers of dreams, we like
to speak for the children.
231
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,100
Uh, we thought we were
speaking for the children.
232
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,200
Yeah, we're children.
233
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,600
Look, if the beatles went back
and updated "the white album"
234
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,400
Every few years,
what would we have now?
235
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,400
Yeah, these guys are only
motivated by money, ted.
236
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:01,500
How so?
237
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,400
Think about it-
Jew.
238
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,900
Jew.
Jew.
239
00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:06,300
Coincidence?
240
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,700
I'm not a jew!
241
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,900
You little brats- I mean,
you darling children
242
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,700
Don't know what
you're talking about.
243
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,200
Changing e.T. Was the
best thing i ever did.
244
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:15,700
Dude, don't you see
that it's not?
245
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:19,100
It'd be like changing
"raiders of the lost ark"!
246
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,200
Wait a minute,
what did you say?
247
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,600
That's brilliant!
248
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:23,900
Yes, change raiders
of the lost ark,
249
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:25,200
Why didn't we
think of it before?
250
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,100
No! No!
251
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,600
Members, this is our
darkest hour.
252
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:36,300
We have just learned that
george lucas and steven spielberg
253
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,000
Now intend to update and change
"raiders of the lost ark".
254
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:41,900
There is only one way we can
stop this important,
255
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,100
Historical piece of art
from being harmed.
256
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,400
Mr. Secretary?
257
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:46,600
Thank you.
258
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,300
Our intelligence tells us that
the original negative
259
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:49,600
To raiders of the lost ark
260
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,400
Is currently somewhere
in george lucas' house.
261
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,200
We need to find
and usurp that negative.
262
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,000
And if we can get a hold
of the negative,
263
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,200
They can't change
the movie?
264
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,300
That's our
understanding.
265
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,400
Sounds like
a good idea to me!
266
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,200
I don't want them to change
raiders of the lost ark!
267
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,600
Yeah!
268
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:05,700
We should get that negative
as soon as we get hat free!
269
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:06,600
Yeah!
270
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,000
Free hat!
Free hat!
271
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,800
No, no, we need to do
this first.
272
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,400
But we have to free hat.
273
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:14,500
It's just that, you know,
he killed 23 babies.
274
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:16,700
Yeah, but it was
in self-Defense!
275
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,000
Yeah!
Yeah!
276
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,600
He killed 23 babies
in self-Defense?
277
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:23,100
Hat was attacked maliciously
and unprovoked
278
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,000
By a gang of babies
in westown park.
279
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,900
When that many babies
get together
280
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,400
They can be like piranha.
281
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,300
Three eyewitnesses
testified that
282
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:33,200
If hat hadn't killed those
babies, they'd a killed him!
283
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,800
Yeah!
Free hat! Free hat!
284
00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:37,000
Alright, but right now
we gotta focus on
285
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,100
Getting those original
prints of raiders.
286
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,500
He's right,
we better split up.
287
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,900
Some of you go with the boys
to get those film prints,
288
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,200
The rest come with me
289
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:46,600
To go talk to the governor
about freeing hat!
290
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:47,200
Yeah!
291
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,400
Free hat!
Free hat!...
292
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:55,900
Well, looks like we're gonna
have to do this ourselves.
293
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:57,300
No, that's it!
I'm out!
294
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,200
I can't deal with the stress
you guys create!
295
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,400
We're just gonna
fly to california
296
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,700
And break into george
lucas' house-
297
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:03,300
What's stressful
about that?
298
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:04,100
Aagh!
299
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,500
Okay, tweek, let me
tell you something.
300
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,100
You've been our new friend now
for two weeks, okay?
301
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,600
And i've gotta be honest with
you, it isn't going well.
302
00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:10,100
People aren't that into you,
tweek, they find you annoying.
303
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,800
Now i'd say you've got
one last shot here,
304
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:13,800
And i don't want you
to blow it, okay?
305
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,700
Does that help take
the stress off?
306
00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:21,600
Okay, go.
307
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,500
I'm not breaking into
george lucas' house.
308
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:25,600
I'm not breaking
into george lucas' house.
309
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,900
I'm in a green field.
310
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,700
Shut up, tweek, this is not
the time for "faggocity"!
311
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:32,600
This looks like
the right room.
312
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,500
I'm in a field,
surrounded by deer.
313
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:35,600
Over here!
314
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:46,600
That's it!
315
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,200
Alright,
get it, tweek!
316
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,300
Nu-Uh!
317
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,700
Get it,
you piece of crap
318
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:52,300
Before i grab your nutsack
and twist it!
319
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:56,900
What are you doing?!
320
00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:58,300
Oh god!
Oh jesus!
321
00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:01,200
You're the boys from
that stupid club!
322
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:01,900
Gimme that!
323
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,800
Do with us
what you will, mr. Lucas,
324
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:06,400
But please don't change
raiders of the lost ark.
325
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:07,300
We're gonna
make it better.
326
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,800
The movie is gonna be changed
and that is that!
327
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:10,800
Alright, you asked for it.
328
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,800
I'm afraid you
leave us no choice!
329
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:13,400
It's time for plan b.!
330
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:14,400
Aw, really?
331
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,800
Oh god,
not plan b.!
332
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,700
You have a heart
made of ice, mr. Lucas,
333
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,600
So we're going to
melt your icy heart
334
00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:22,600
With a cool island song.
335
00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,100
Gentlemen?
336
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:27,600
What?!
337
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:28,400
Hit it, tweek!
338
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,300
* in the tropical isles
with the coconut trees- *
339
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,600
Wait, wait!
340
00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:35,500
I thought we were gonna
cool his hot heart
341
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:37,200
With a cool island song.
342
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,800
No, he has a icy heart.
343
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,900
But you can't melt ice with
a cool song, r-Tard!
344
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,400
So we have to warm
his icy heart
345
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,800
With a hot
island song?
346
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,100
It's a cool island song!
347
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,700
Then we're gonna end up
freezing his hellish heart
348
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:48,000
With a cool island song.
349
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,300
Aw, do we wanna
do that?
350
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,700
Alright, that does it!
351
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,400
Yes, thank you,
officer.
352
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,600
The police are
on their way, boys.
353
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,500
Soon you'll be in jail
getting rammed!
354
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,800
Aagh!
355
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,400
Those rams can do to us what
they will, mr. Lucas,
356
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,900
But we'll never stop
trying to protect films!
357
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,100
It's not too late
to do what's right.
358
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,500
Give us the print.
359
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,100
There's still some good
in you, mr. Lucas,
360
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:08,400
We know there is!
361
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,900
It is... too late
for me, boys.
362
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,300
You yourself
led the campaign
363
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,800
Against the colorization
of films.
364
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:18,400
You understand why films
shouldn't be changed!
365
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:19,200
That's different.
366
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:20,900
These are my movies,
i made them,
367
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:24,600
And i have the right to do
whatever i want with them.
368
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:25,600
You're wrong,
mr. Lucas.
369
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:27,100
They're not your movies,
they're ours.
370
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:29,100
All of ours.
371
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,500
We paid to go see them,
372
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,000
And they're just as much a part
of our lives
373
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:33,200
As they are of yours.
374
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:34,200
When an artist creates,
375
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:37,000
Whatever they create
belongs to society.
376
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,100
Have i...
become so old
377
00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:43,100
That i've forgotten what
being an artist is about?
378
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:45,400
Give the print to us so that we
can protect it from spielberg
379
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,000
And anyone else
who wants to alter it.
380
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,600
Perhaps...
you are right.
381
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,100
Stop!
382
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,700
What are you
doing, george?
383
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,100
Steven, i-
384
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,100
Give me that print,
george.
385
00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,000
We need to make
the alterations.
386
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,700
Steven, these boys
had a point.
387
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,400
I don't remember what
it was, but it was good.
388
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,400
You haven't let these
doe-Eyed children
389
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,300
Affect your judgment,
have you, george?
390
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:11,800
Don't forget-
You belong to me.
391
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,600
Don't listen to him!
392
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:16,300
You still have a chance to
preserve your film!
393
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:24,200
I'm...
i'm sorry, boys.
394
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:27,800
Ha ha ha-Haaaa!
395
00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:30,700
Now, take the children
prisoner!
396
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:31,600
What?!
397
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:33,700
You troublemakers shall be
my guests of honor
398
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,300
At the premiere of the new
raiders of the lost ark!
399
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,500
Your gay little club
is over!
400
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,400
You,
steven spielberg!
401
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,100
Come on, you guys!
402
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,800
Oh my god, they're
gonna kill us!
403
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,300
Don't even
think about it, kid!
404
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:48,200
I'm not afraid to use
this walkie-Talkie.
405
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,800
The one with the cocaine
problem escaped, mein director!
406
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,700
Leave him!
407
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,400
Let him run back
to his mommy.
408
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,800
We must get the film ready
for the premiere.
409
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,800
Lucas! Come!
410
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,200
It's the digitally
re-Enhanced re-Release
411
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:07,000
Of the very first, pilot episode
of "south park"!
412
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,800
Yes, the classic, rough,
hand-Made first episode
413
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,300
Is getting a makeover
for 2002!
414
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,900
The simple, funny aliens are now
super bad-Ass and cool!
415
00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:16,200
The flying saucer?
416
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:18,500
No longer cheap construction
paper- But a 4.0 megapixel
417
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:21,000
Non-Drop digital masterpiece
of technology!
418
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,700
Yes, everything's new.
New is better!
419
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:25,000
When we first made
south park,
420
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:26,600
We didn't want to use
construction paper,
421
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,400
We just had to
because it was cheap.
422
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,100
Now with new technology we can
finally re-Master south park
423
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,400
To make it look sharp,
clean and focused.
424
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,000
And expensive.
425
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,100
Yes, all the charm of
the simple little cartoon
426
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,500
Will melt before your eyes
427
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,700
As it is replaced by newer and
more standardized animation!
428
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,300
For instance, the scene
at the bus stop.
429
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,900
We always meant to have imperial
walkers and giant dewback lizards
430
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,400
In the background, but
simply couldn't afford it.
431
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,100
Get this special enhanced
version quick!
432
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,800
Because another enhanced version
will likely be coming out for 2003!
433
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,700
Members!
434
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,200
Uh, oh jesus-
You have to do something!
435
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,600
Our club's president, treasurer,
and secretary
436
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,000
Have all been taken hostage
by steven spielberg!
437
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,200
Agh!
438
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:08,500
Prisoner?
You mean like hat?
439
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,000
Yes, just like hat!
440
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,800
But the governor
won't pardon hat,
441
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,600
So how can we get him
out of prison?
442
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:14,300
Yeah!
443
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:16,100
No, listen to me!
444
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:19,900
We're not talking about
hat right now, okay?
445
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:20,700
Get it?!
446
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,800
Look, we went to
george lucas' house
447
00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:25,600
And tried to melt his icy heart
with a warm island song,
448
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:26,900
But then spielberg showed up
449
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:28,300
And took three of
our members prisoner!
450
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,200
They're going to premiere the
new raiders of the lost ark
451
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:33,400
And we have to rescue them,
do you understand?!
452
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,800
Hey, he's got
a point there.
453
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:39,400
Yeah, maybe we could melt
the governor's icy heart
454
00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:40,400
With a cool
island song!
455
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,800
Yeah!
Let's go!
456
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:43,700
No!
457
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:44,600
No?
458
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:45,900
No, he's right.
459
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,600
We have to freeze his hot heart
with a cool island song!
460
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,500
Or is it freshen his hot temper
with a cool island song?
461
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:54,300
Let's cool his hot temper
with a fresh island song!
462
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,700
That's it!
463
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:01,300
Oh god, i'm gonna have to
do this myself!
464
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:02,500
Oh god!
465
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,800
Well, the print is finished
and the day has come!
466
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,600
Tonight, steven spielberg
and george lucas
467
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,000
Will be at the premiere of
the new, special edition
468
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,400
Of raiders of the lost ark.
469
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,500
Lots of celebrity guests
and other rich people
470
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,500
Will be on hand to witness
all the updated effects
471
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,900
And modernized technology!
472
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:34,200
Ho-Oh!
473
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:36,400
The kid?
474
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,100
The tweeked-Out kid?
475
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,300
I'm gonna blow up
the print, spielberg!
476
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,800
Your persistence
surprises even me.
477
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:49,100
Surely you don't think you can
escape from this premiere?
478
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,600
That depends on how reasonable
we're all willing to be.
479
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,600
All i want
are my friends.
480
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:55,500
Wow...
481
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:57,000
Except for cartman,
you can keep him.
482
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,200
Ah!
483
00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,500
And if we refuse?
484
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,000
Then your premiere
has no movie!
485
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,900
He's definitely
lost it.
486
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,000
Yup.
487
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,400
Okay, okay,
stand back.
488
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,600
Stand back, back!
489
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,800
Okay, kid, you win,
blow it up.
490
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:12,700
Zuroch!
Zuroch!
491
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:15,600
Blow it back to god.
492
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:18,700
All your life has been the
pursuit of seeing a great film.
493
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,100
This new version of raiders
has digital effects
494
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:23,000
Beyond your wildest dreams.
495
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:26,800
You want to see it screened
just as much as i.
496
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,200
Come on, tweek,
blow it up!
497
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:32,200
Son, we are simply passing
through history.
498
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:35,600
This- Is improved history.
499
00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:43,900
Do as you will.
500
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:52,000
* in the tropical isles
with the coconut trees *
501
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,400
* the air is fresh and
the people are free *
502
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,300
* but here in the mountains
there's no freedom like that *
503
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,900
* there's a man in prison
and his name is hat *
504
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,100
Haffaaa mali fi!
505
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,200
Thanks for coming,
everyone!
506
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,700
This is the birth
of the new version
507
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:28,800
Of raiders
of the lost ark!
508
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,100
We shall screen it here
and then destroy
509
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,800
All the old prints
in celebration!
510
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,300
Hooray!
511
00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:37,100
Begin the film!
512
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:41,500
Ohh, aaahh!
513
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,300
You guys!
514
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,300
Close your eyes,
don't look at it!
515
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,200
What?
516
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:47,800
Don't watch the movie,
you guys!
517
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:49,300
It'll be terrible,
close your eyes!
518
00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:51,200
Oohhh...
aahh...
519
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,100
It's beautiful!
520
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:00,700
Wait a minute.
521
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,200
This version
is awful!
522
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,500
Yeah, they ruined it!
523
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,300
Oh my god,
it's terrible!
524
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:12,700
Aaaagh!
525
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,200
You...
you guys okay?
526
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,100
Yeah, i think so.
527
00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:01,300
Man, that new version
must've sucked balls.
528
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,600
Today is a day
of celebration!
529
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:14,000
And we owe it all to these
four brave, young boys!
530
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:16,300
Yeah!
Alright!
531
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:19,700
And thanks to the bravery of
this young man in particular-
532
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:23,000
Hat mccullough is finally
free from prison!
533
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:26,700
What?
534
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,800
Hat! Hat! Hat!...
535
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:31,900
Thank you, everyone-
Kill the innocent!
536
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:36,200
Uh, i'm so thankful for all your
support- Rape the virgin!
537
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:40,500
And uh, i just wonder if i could
get a baby real quick?
538
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,300
Sure, give that
man a baby!
539
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:47,200
Come on, you guys,
let's get outta here.
540
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,600
Oh my god!
541
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,100
Do you think we did
a good thing, stan?
542
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,100
I mean, no one even
seemed to notice.
543
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,100
Yeah, well, sometimes
the things we do
544
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,300
Don't matter right now.
545
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,700
Sometimes they matter
later.
546
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,800
We have to care more about later
sometimes, you know?
547
00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:02,100
I think that's what separates us
from the steven spielbergs
548
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:04,100
And george lucases
of the world.
549
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:05,600
That and youth-
Those guys are old.
550
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,100
But what about the
original prints
551
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,900
Of raiders
of the lost ark?!
552
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,400
What if somebody else takes
them and tries to change them?
553
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,300
Don't worry, tweek,
it's somewhere safe,
554
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,300
Somewhere where nobody
will ever find it.