1 00:00:04,626 --> 00:00:07,598 "Pee" 2 00:00:36,444 --> 00:00:37,891 CARTMAN: # We're goin' to the water park # 3 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:39,755 # The water park, the water park, # 4 00:00:39,995 --> 00:00:41,452 # We're going to the water park # 5 00:00:41,531 --> 00:00:42,877 # Me and all my best friends, # 6 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,517 # except for Kyle, who I don't like, # 7 00:00:44,518 --> 00:00:45,951 Okay, Cartman. You can stop singing now. 8 00:00:46,253 --> 00:00:47,529 This is gonna be so awesome, dude. 9 00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:49,384 I haven't been to the water park in like, over a year! 10 00:00:49,419 --> 00:00:50,607 What do you guys wanna do first? 11 00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:52,566 I hear they have a new inner-tube slide. 12 00:00:52,601 --> 00:00:53,025 No, dude. 13 00:00:53,026 --> 00:00:54,159 We gotta do the wave pool first. 14 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:54,948 It's so dope. 15 00:00:54,949 --> 00:00:56,333 As long as there aren't any minorities. 16 00:00:56,797 --> 00:00:57,959 What are you talking about, Eric? 17 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:58,693 You know, there's always like 18 00:00:58,694 --> 00:01:00,695 five or six minorities wearing their T-shirts in the wave pool. 19 00:01:00,746 --> 00:01:01,380 Pisses me off. 20 00:01:01,381 --> 00:01:02,627 We're here! It's the water park. 21 00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:09,892 I'm gonna pick you boys up right here at 4:00, you got it? 22 00:01:09,927 --> 00:01:11,125 Come on, let's go! 23 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:11,960 We got it, Dad. 24 00:01:12,922 --> 00:01:14,584 Six adorable children, please. 25 00:01:16,325 --> 00:01:17,525 Wave pool! Wave pool! 26 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:18,699 Wave pool! 27 00:01:19,848 --> 00:01:21,677 Oh, what the hell? 28 00:01:22,163 --> 00:01:25,832 MINORITIES: Whoa! Whoa! 29 00:01:29,304 --> 00:01:29,568 Alright. 30 00:01:29,569 --> 00:01:30,797 What do you guys wanna ride first? 31 00:01:31,222 --> 00:01:31,695 Well, Cartman said 32 00:01:31,696 --> 00:01:33,063 he wanted to do the wave pool first, right Cartman? 33 00:01:34,176 --> 00:01:34,976 Forget it. 34 00:01:35,454 --> 00:01:36,337 Just forget it! 35 00:01:39,604 --> 00:01:41,510 - [water waves lapping] - [people speaking indistinctly] 36 00:01:42,551 --> 00:01:43,739 Dude, this is awesome! 37 00:01:43,774 --> 00:01:44,823 You guys wanna see how long I can 38 00:01:44,858 --> 00:01:45,918 hold my breath under water? 39 00:01:46,271 --> 00:01:47,533 Hey, fellas! Fellas, hang on! 40 00:01:47,554 --> 00:01:48,819 I gotta go to the bathroom! 41 00:01:48,854 --> 00:01:49,932 Okay. Go ahead. 42 00:01:49,967 --> 00:01:50,909 Okay, thanks! 43 00:01:51,092 --> 00:01:53,013 I can seriously hold my breath longer than anybody. 44 00:01:53,048 --> 00:01:54,299 Somebody time me alright. 45 00:01:54,334 --> 00:01:55,773 - Okay! - Alright. Check it out-- 46 00:01:57,559 --> 00:01:58,774 Butters-- Butters! 47 00:01:58,809 --> 00:01:59,609 What the fuck? 48 00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:00,901 Are you peeing in the pool? 49 00:02:00,902 --> 00:02:02,166 You said go ahead! 50 00:02:03,595 --> 00:02:04,729 Come on, Kyle. Let's check out the fireboats. 51 00:02:04,764 --> 00:02:05,342 No, dude. 52 00:02:05,343 --> 00:02:06,332 Butters' pee is in there! 53 00:02:06,367 --> 00:02:07,434 Aw, come on. Look at all this water. 54 00:02:07,469 --> 00:02:08,830 It doesn't matter if one person pees in it. 55 00:02:09,048 --> 00:02:09,848 Yeah, come on, Kyle. 56 00:02:09,875 --> 00:02:11,512 I am not the only person here who's peed in the pool. 57 00:02:11,547 --> 00:02:12,599 Lots a people do. 58 00:02:12,852 --> 00:02:14,142 No, they don't. 59 00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:15,222 Yeah, they do, Kyle. 60 00:02:15,257 --> 00:02:16,189 To be perfectly frank, 61 00:02:16,256 --> 00:02:18,171 I peed in the pool about 25 seconds ago. 62 00:02:18,482 --> 00:02:19,282 Dude! 63 00:02:19,952 --> 00:02:21,337 Come on, show us how long you can hold your breath! 64 00:02:21,648 --> 00:02:22,448 No! 65 00:02:26,168 --> 00:02:28,974 # What has happened to this place # 66 00:02:29,009 --> 00:02:31,361 # I don't recognize it anymore # 67 00:02:32,075 --> 00:02:35,364 # It used to be so fun and special # 68 00:02:35,399 --> 00:02:37,592 # What is life worth living for? # 69 00:02:38,579 --> 00:02:41,349 # The dream is dead, Our land is gone # 70 00:02:41,549 --> 00:02:42,909 # There's a hole in my heart # 71 00:02:42,959 --> 00:02:46,959 # And I can't go on # 72 00:02:47,047 --> 00:02:49,283 # There are too many minorities # 73 00:02:49,387 --> 00:02:50,703 # Minorities # 74 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,543 - # At my water park # - # My water park # 75 00:02:54,026 --> 00:02:56,403 # This was our land, our dream # 76 00:02:56,963 --> 00:02:59,162 # And they've taken it all away # 77 00:02:59,230 --> 00:03:02,008 # They just keep coming and coming # 78 00:03:02,009 --> 00:03:05,928 - # Minorities # - # I tried to go and tell the police # 79 00:03:06,003 --> 00:03:08,735 # But even the authorities # 80 00:03:09,317 --> 00:03:12,097 # are minorities # 81 00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:15,253 - # At my water park # - # At my water park # 82 00:03:19,347 --> 00:03:22,217 # There's no place for me to sit anymore # 83 00:03:22,218 --> 00:03:25,126 # And the lines just keep getting crazier # 84 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:28,172 # There are Mexicans all around me # 85 00:03:28,352 --> 00:03:31,377 # The Lazy River has never been lazier # 86 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:34,679 # It's a 40-minute wait to go down one slide # 87 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:38,714 # And the instructions in Spanish on the Zipline Ride # 88 00:03:38,796 --> 00:03:40,505 Guarde sus brazos y piernas (Keep your arms and legs) 89 00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:41,627 dentro del paseo siempre. (on this long ride) 90 00:03:41,662 --> 00:03:42,689 Just do it in English! 91 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:45,814 # There are too many minorities # 92 00:03:45,815 --> 00:03:47,100 # Too many # 93 00:03:47,135 --> 00:03:50,593 - # At my water park # - # Somebody do something # 94 00:03:50,628 --> 00:03:52,941 # Where did they all come from? # 95 00:03:52,976 --> 00:03:56,077 # Why can't they leave this land alone? # 96 00:03:56,145 --> 00:03:59,488 - # And it's such a tragedy # - # Feel a bit like dying # 97 00:03:59,523 --> 00:04:01,839 # We've been lookin' the other way too long # 98 00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:05,098 # We've got to change our priorities # 99 00:04:05,154 --> 00:04:08,269 # And get all these minorities # 100 00:04:08,702 --> 00:04:11,325 # Out of my water park # 101 00:04:12,292 --> 00:04:15,248 - # Minorities # - # Mexicans and Asians # 102 00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:16,780 # Black people # 103 00:04:16,815 --> 00:04:18,102 # I think I even saw # 104 00:04:18,152 --> 00:04:19,963 # A Native American # 105 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:20,966 Gross. 106 00:04:22,036 --> 00:04:24,252 # God, I'm asking please, # 107 00:04:24,622 --> 00:04:28,507 # Get all of these minorities # 108 00:04:28,898 --> 00:04:32,770 # out of my water park # 109 00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:34,246 My water park. 110 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,294 After this, you guys, wanna hit the hurricane slides? 111 00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:40,155 You bet! 112 00:04:40,418 --> 00:04:41,672 I'm not getting back in the water. 113 00:04:41,707 --> 00:04:42,613 Oh, come on, Kyle. 114 00:04:42,648 --> 00:04:44,678 Dude, I just found out that everybody pees in pools. 115 00:04:44,713 --> 00:04:45,513 Why would I go back? 116 00:04:45,556 --> 00:04:47,289 Not everybody pees in pools. 117 00:04:47,641 --> 00:04:48,655 Do you pee in the pool? 118 00:04:49,183 --> 00:04:50,766 Not today-- yet. 119 00:04:50,801 --> 00:04:52,103 Aw, come on! 120 00:04:52,138 --> 00:04:53,114 Well dude, what are you gonna do? 121 00:04:53,149 --> 00:04:54,369 Just hang out here at the table all day? 122 00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:55,283 Most likely. 123 00:04:55,284 --> 00:04:56,084 You guys! 124 00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:58,438 You guys, we have got problems of Biblical proportions! 125 00:04:58,700 --> 00:04:59,443 Dude, where have you been? 126 00:04:59,444 --> 00:05:00,413 I've been counting. 127 00:05:00,547 --> 00:05:03,436 Do you know there are 205 Mexicans here? 128 00:05:04,274 --> 00:05:06,681 And there are 109 black people. 129 00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:08,182 So what? 130 00:05:08,316 --> 00:05:10,138 So... guess how many white people are 131 00:05:10,173 --> 00:05:11,163 at the water park today? 132 00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:13,392 143. 133 00:05:13,584 --> 00:05:16,045 There are actually more minorities here than us. 134 00:05:17,149 --> 00:05:18,661 Well, then they're not minorities, are they? 135 00:05:20,217 --> 00:05:21,017 What do you mean? 136 00:05:21,018 --> 00:05:23,192 Dumb ass, if there's 60% of them 137 00:05:23,227 --> 00:05:25,627 to 40% of us, then who's the minority? 138 00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:27,998 The black and brown people. 139 00:05:28,290 --> 00:05:29,555 No, you're the minority! 140 00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:31,350 Do I look like a minority to you, stupid? 141 00:05:31,385 --> 00:05:33,386 Now look, guys, I did some calculations. 142 00:05:33,654 --> 00:05:35,200 Just last year, there were almost 143 00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,937 90% normal people to minorities. 144 00:05:36,972 --> 00:05:39,404 That's a 50% rise in one year. 145 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,541 This is more math than I've ever seen you do. 146 00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:42,866 Because it's important! 147 00:05:42,999 --> 00:05:44,334 A 50% rise each year 148 00:05:44,369 --> 00:05:46,069 means that in three years, the world will be 149 00:05:46,104 --> 00:05:47,114 only minorities. 150 00:05:47,828 --> 00:05:48,820 That's 2012. 151 00:05:48,855 --> 00:05:50,346 The Mayans predicted this! 152 00:05:50,381 --> 00:05:51,920 - The who?! - The Mayans. 153 00:05:51,955 --> 00:05:53,305 They knew that minorities would take over the world 154 00:05:53,340 --> 00:05:54,140 by the year 2012. 155 00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:55,102 And now it's happening! 156 00:05:55,156 --> 00:05:56,469 I'm going to go on the slides. 157 00:05:56,504 --> 00:05:57,304 Whoopie! 158 00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:58,084 You guys? 159 00:05:58,085 --> 00:05:59,716 You guys, we have to do something to stop this! 160 00:05:59,751 --> 00:06:00,551 Come on! 161 00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:03,804 Well, looks like at least 162 00:06:03,844 --> 00:06:05,212 you've got some sense left in you, Kyle. 163 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,787 So what are we going to do to keep the Mayans prediction 164 00:06:06,822 --> 00:06:07,622 from coming true, buddy? 165 00:06:07,948 --> 00:06:09,162 Blow it out your ass, Cartman. 166 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,089 Eugene! 167 00:06:12,090 --> 00:06:13,563 That is disgusting! 168 00:06:13,950 --> 00:06:15,478 Did you just pee in the pool? 169 00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,936 Oh, come on! Look how big this pool is. 170 00:06:17,937 --> 00:06:20,308 One person peeing in it isn't going to hurt anything. 171 00:06:20,626 --> 00:06:21,657 Eww! 172 00:06:27,446 --> 00:06:28,967 Oh my God! 173 00:06:30,749 --> 00:06:33,174 Ah, gentlemen, I am a-the Pipi. 174 00:06:33,383 --> 00:06:34,782 How can I a-help you? 175 00:06:34,817 --> 00:06:37,821 Pipi, we have some dire news concerning your water park. 176 00:06:38,101 --> 00:06:39,386 I've just finished some tests. 177 00:06:39,484 --> 00:06:42,463 The water in your park is now 98% pee. 178 00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:43,925 Yes? 179 00:06:43,926 --> 00:06:45,014 So what's a-the problem? 180 00:06:45,794 --> 00:06:47,921 Pipi, you know that acceptable pee levels 181 00:06:47,956 --> 00:06:50,277 in any water park is 83%. 182 00:06:50,541 --> 00:06:51,998 You have to shut down. 183 00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:52,865 What? 184 00:06:52,866 --> 00:06:54,114 I can't-a close down. 185 00:06:54,149 --> 00:06:55,837 Now it's my biggest a-weekend! 186 00:06:55,872 --> 00:06:57,964 Everyone is a-having the fun! 187 00:06:58,195 --> 00:06:59,902 You're endangering peoples' lives! 188 00:07:00,165 --> 00:07:01,491 If those pee levels hit 100%, 189 00:07:01,526 --> 00:07:02,762 there's no telling what will happen. 190 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:06,113 And what proof do you have that the pee levels will go up? 191 00:07:06,148 --> 00:07:08,254 One in three people admit they pee in pools. 192 00:07:08,383 --> 00:07:10,110 Add another for people who do but don't admit it, 193 00:07:10,145 --> 00:07:11,103 that's two in three. 194 00:07:11,138 --> 00:07:13,008 You've got just over 500 people out there. 195 00:07:13,043 --> 00:07:15,678 That's 332 people about to pee in your water. 196 00:07:15,955 --> 00:07:17,521 Gentlemen, please-a. 197 00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:19,309 I come-a from the Venice. 198 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,169 Venice is almost all pee, 199 00:07:22,204 --> 00:07:23,824 and we do just a-fine. 200 00:07:23,825 --> 00:07:27,281 We swim-a in the pee, we sing-a in the pee. 201 00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:30,300 You can't barge in here and tell me that I have to close down 202 00:07:30,335 --> 00:07:33,112 just because my water park has-a too much pee. 203 00:07:33,147 --> 00:07:35,509 You have to evacuate people now! 204 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:36,999 He said he's not doing it! 205 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,956 And as his lawyer, I advise you gentlemen, 206 00:07:39,027 --> 00:07:41,392 to leave and take your wild pee theories with you. 207 00:07:42,249 --> 00:07:44,527 If one more person urinates in your pool, 208 00:07:44,562 --> 00:07:46,003 it could set off a chain reaction. 209 00:07:46,435 --> 00:07:48,164 Then the pee will be on your hands. 210 00:07:53,491 --> 00:07:56,081 Oh, boy, the waves are startin' up again! 211 00:07:56,364 --> 00:07:57,628 This is sweet, huh, Kenny? 212 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:14,144 [water waves moving intensely] 213 00:08:15,288 --> 00:08:16,484 W-What's that? 214 00:08:34,446 --> 00:08:35,840 [screaming] 215 00:08:47,852 --> 00:08:49,150 It's pee! 216 00:08:49,185 --> 00:08:51,094 Look out for the pee! 217 00:08:56,865 --> 00:08:58,493 Ah! Gross! 218 00:09:02,414 --> 00:09:03,901 [everyone screaming in unison] 219 00:09:07,972 --> 00:09:09,516 - It's a-the pee! - [woman screaming] 220 00:09:14,103 --> 00:09:15,918 Oh, my God. They killed Kenny! 221 00:09:17,011 --> 00:09:18,639 Aw, sick! 222 00:09:26,227 --> 00:09:28,031 I want that entire water park 223 00:09:28,093 --> 00:09:30,774 contained and quarantined until I get some answers. 224 00:09:31,231 --> 00:09:32,804 [police chatter in distance] 225 00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:34,908 What's going on? 226 00:09:34,909 --> 00:09:36,998 I told you people to keep civilians back! 227 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,604 Sir, please, my son is in there. 228 00:09:38,639 --> 00:09:39,246 What's happened? 229 00:09:39,249 --> 00:09:40,532 We don't know yet, alright? 230 00:09:40,683 --> 00:09:42,794 There's been a pee breach and a lot of people are dead. 231 00:09:42,817 --> 00:09:43,949 Now, I'm sorry but you're gonna have to-- 232 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:46,132 Captain, these two men claim to know the situation. 233 00:09:46,354 --> 00:09:48,081 We warnedthe owner of the park, 234 00:09:48,116 --> 00:09:49,391 but he refused to shut down. 235 00:09:49,637 --> 00:09:50,699 This was inevitable. 236 00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:52,887 - So this is all pee-related? - Yes. 237 00:09:52,977 --> 00:09:55,001 I tested the pH levels this morning. 238 00:09:55,643 --> 00:09:56,314 And? 239 00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:58,557 It was almost all pee, no H. 240 00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:00,918 Oh my God. 241 00:10:00,953 --> 00:10:01,842 I've got to help him! 242 00:10:02,084 --> 00:10:03,108 Stay back! 243 00:10:03,389 --> 00:10:05,679 You can't just leave my son in there with all that pee! 244 00:10:05,903 --> 00:10:07,528 Sir, it's possible with a crane, 245 00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:09,162 we could help any survivors out. 246 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,458 I think that would be a very bad idea. 247 00:10:11,493 --> 00:10:12,666 And why is that? 248 00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,991 Anyone inside there is contaminated. 249 00:10:15,253 --> 00:10:16,090 We have reason to believe that 250 00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:17,779 when people are exposed to that much pee, 251 00:10:17,849 --> 00:10:19,434 they change. 252 00:10:20,001 --> 00:10:21,000 Change how? 253 00:10:21,567 --> 00:10:22,961 Alright, bring in-- Bring in the monkey. 254 00:10:26,157 --> 00:10:28,523 We've only tested the theory on monkeys so far. 255 00:10:28,654 --> 00:10:30,963 This monkey is healthy and normal in every way. 256 00:10:31,024 --> 00:10:32,148 But now watch. 257 00:10:36,099 --> 00:10:38,154 [monkey howling] 258 00:10:39,501 --> 00:10:41,589 My God, he's become full of rage! 259 00:10:47,391 --> 00:10:47,909 Ah! 260 00:10:48,107 --> 00:10:48,921 Kyle, quick! 261 00:10:48,956 --> 00:10:50,070 You gotta swim over to us. 262 00:10:50,914 --> 00:10:51,584 No way! 263 00:10:51,619 --> 00:10:54,180 - You gotta swim over here, Kyle. - Come on, Kyle! 264 00:10:54,726 --> 00:10:56,120 Dude, that's all pee! 265 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:57,921 Well, if you don't swim in it, you're gonna die. 266 00:10:57,922 --> 00:10:59,580 I'll die if I do swim in it. 267 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:00,860 Kyle, it's just pee. 268 00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,133 It's not that big a deal. 269 00:11:02,134 --> 00:11:03,613 Yes, it is a big deal! 270 00:11:03,673 --> 00:11:05,514 Why do you think everyone washes their hands 271 00:11:05,549 --> 00:11:06,794 after they go to the bathroom? 272 00:11:09,071 --> 00:11:11,012 Well, not everyone washes their hands 273 00:11:11,047 --> 00:11:12,186 after they go to the bathroom. 274 00:11:14,261 --> 00:11:14,843 What? 275 00:11:15,458 --> 00:11:16,602 Come on, dude, you gotta swim. 276 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:18,647 You don't wash your hands after going to the bathroom? 277 00:11:18,847 --> 00:11:20,348 Not... all the time. 278 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,632 - That is gross! - Why? 279 00:11:22,667 --> 00:11:24,038 It's not like you're peeing on your hands. 280 00:11:24,039 --> 00:11:25,474 There's more germs on most furniture 281 00:11:25,534 --> 00:11:27,217 - than there is in pee. - Yeah, if anything, 282 00:11:27,252 --> 00:11:29,283 you should wash your hands before you touch your wiener. 283 00:11:30,596 --> 00:11:31,820 Kyle, come on! 284 00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:34,733 God dammit! 285 00:11:36,411 --> 00:11:37,133 Ah... 286 00:11:37,424 --> 00:11:38,305 Oh... 287 00:11:41,824 --> 00:11:43,279 [groaning] 288 00:11:56,121 --> 00:11:57,842 Do you need to wash your hands? 289 00:11:58,746 --> 00:11:59,506 I can't hold on... 290 00:12:00,247 --> 00:12:02,339 Help! Help! 291 00:12:02,998 --> 00:12:03,691 Here! 292 00:12:03,726 --> 00:12:05,148 Hey kid, grab this stick! 293 00:12:05,389 --> 00:12:06,278 Yes! Yes, help me! 294 00:12:06,313 --> 00:12:07,663 Yes, help me. I'm just a little boy. 295 00:12:07,698 --> 00:12:08,500 You have to help me. 296 00:12:09,534 --> 00:12:11,101 [groaning] 297 00:12:16,376 --> 00:12:17,149 Are you okay? 298 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,886 Ha-ha. Yes. 299 00:12:19,921 --> 00:12:20,570 Thank you. 300 00:12:21,233 --> 00:12:22,833 Well, what are we gonna do now? 301 00:12:23,014 --> 00:12:24,536 We've got to just wait it out. 302 00:12:24,571 --> 00:12:25,849 WOMAN: Yeah, but for how long? 303 00:12:25,884 --> 00:12:27,811 MAN: We need to find something to paddle with. 304 00:12:28,170 --> 00:12:28,932 CARTMAN: Day one. 305 00:12:28,967 --> 00:12:29,823 It has happened. 306 00:12:30,253 --> 00:12:31,302 The Mayans were right. 307 00:12:31,624 --> 00:12:33,220 Only thing they got wrong was the date. 308 00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:37,252 It is 2009 and I appear to be the last of my species alive. 309 00:12:37,815 --> 00:12:39,449 Now it's just me, all alone, 310 00:12:39,621 --> 00:12:40,434 with minorities. 311 00:12:40,764 --> 00:12:42,461 What will the minorities do with me? 312 00:12:42,574 --> 00:12:44,468 I'm sure that's what's on all their minds. 313 00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:47,586 I have to make myself seem useful to them, 314 00:12:47,621 --> 00:12:49,190 or they will surely not let me live. 315 00:12:49,987 --> 00:12:50,324 [clears throat] 316 00:12:50,374 --> 00:12:51,513 Does anyone need medical help? 317 00:12:51,548 --> 00:12:52,559 I am a doctor. 318 00:12:55,445 --> 00:12:57,156 Randy! Randy, calm down! 319 00:12:57,157 --> 00:12:58,784 I can't understand what you're saying. 320 00:12:58,819 --> 00:12:59,746 It's the pee! 321 00:12:59,747 --> 00:13:02,124 It's all pee and nobody can go in or out! 322 00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:03,905 What is all pee? 323 00:13:04,096 --> 00:13:06,404 Sharon, the water park had a pee meltdown! 324 00:13:06,601 --> 00:13:08,317 They think a lot of people have died. 325 00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:09,610 What? What about Stan? 326 00:13:09,645 --> 00:13:10,322 Is he okay? 327 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,387 I don't know! 328 00:13:11,675 --> 00:13:13,516 The whole water park has been quarantined. 329 00:13:13,517 --> 00:13:15,414 They're worried anyone left alive could be-- 330 00:13:16,048 --> 00:13:18,786 Some kind of raging hate-filled mutants! 331 00:13:19,026 --> 00:13:20,971 Randy, you've got to do something! 332 00:13:21,006 --> 00:13:23,322 Calm down, Sharon. Calm down! 333 00:13:23,357 --> 00:13:25,058 They're trying to find an antidote. 334 00:13:25,125 --> 00:13:26,719 Once they believe they can neutralize 335 00:13:26,754 --> 00:13:28,500 the enraging affects of the pee, they'll... 336 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,024 they'll go in to look for survivors. 337 00:13:30,796 --> 00:13:32,255 I said keep the media out. 338 00:13:32,493 --> 00:13:33,564 If the public hears about this, 339 00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:35,741 we'll have a full-scale panic on our hands. 340 00:13:35,776 --> 00:13:36,515 - [phone hangs up] - Dammit! 341 00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:37,862 Where is that antidote? 342 00:13:37,897 --> 00:13:38,414 Here! 343 00:13:38,449 --> 00:13:38,851 Here! 344 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,241 We think we have it, sir. 345 00:13:40,242 --> 00:13:41,563 It's the best we could come up with 346 00:13:41,603 --> 00:13:42,521 in such a short time. 347 00:13:42,732 --> 00:13:44,356 We aren't sure of the ramifications, 348 00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:47,334 but it does appear to neutralize some particles of the urine. 349 00:13:47,567 --> 00:13:48,480 Alright, let's test it. 350 00:13:48,515 --> 00:13:49,342 Bring in the monkeys! 351 00:13:50,140 --> 00:13:51,546 [monkeys howling] 352 00:13:54,117 --> 00:13:55,635 Let's hope to Christ this works. 353 00:14:03,270 --> 00:14:05,525 [monkeys screaming more] 354 00:14:05,526 --> 00:14:06,970 No, dammit no! 355 00:14:07,633 --> 00:14:08,505 They're still angry! 356 00:14:08,822 --> 00:14:10,067 This one's really angry. 357 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:11,248 It's out of control! 358 00:14:12,056 --> 00:14:12,526 [cocks gun] 359 00:14:13,297 --> 00:14:13,959 [gunshot] 360 00:14:16,549 --> 00:14:19,269 Find an antidote that works! 361 00:14:20,709 --> 00:14:22,706 Dude, why aren't people coming to help us? 362 00:14:22,741 --> 00:14:23,579 I don't know. 363 00:14:24,013 --> 00:14:25,385 Oh why... 364 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,367 Why didn't Pipi a-listen? 365 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,164 They tried to warn a-the Pipi, 366 00:14:30,199 --> 00:14:32,063 but a-Pipi not believe them. 367 00:14:32,064 --> 00:14:32,855 - [sobbing] - Who are you? 368 00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:34,993 Oh, I'm so sorry! 369 00:14:35,269 --> 00:14:36,680 This is all-a my fault! 370 00:14:36,892 --> 00:14:38,864 I should have-a shut my water park down 371 00:14:38,899 --> 00:14:41,182 when it reached 90% a-pee! 372 00:14:41,533 --> 00:14:42,832 Yeah. Well, people should know 373 00:14:42,867 --> 00:14:44,104 that peeing in pools is bad! 374 00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:45,368 But wait-a! 375 00:14:45,732 --> 00:14:47,570 Maybe you boys a can-a help Pipi. 376 00:14:47,737 --> 00:14:49,151 In-a the maintenance room-a, 377 00:14:49,186 --> 00:14:51,210 there is the emergency release valve. 378 00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:53,955 If you open it, all-a this a pee can be lowered! 379 00:14:54,341 --> 00:14:55,780 Okay! Where's the maintenance room? 380 00:14:56,036 --> 00:14:57,570 That is a-the problem. 381 00:14:57,654 --> 00:15:00,847 The maintenance room is a way down on the basement level. 382 00:15:01,050 --> 00:15:03,931 I would do it, but Pipi is a no good at a-the swimming. 383 00:15:04,264 --> 00:15:06,631 Somebody will have to dive down into the pee, 384 00:15:06,666 --> 00:15:08,801 then stay there to turn the release wheel. 385 00:15:09,294 --> 00:15:11,740 So who can hold-a their breath the longest? 386 00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:15,315 No! 387 00:15:15,488 --> 00:15:17,624 You said you can hold your breath the longest, Kyle. 388 00:15:17,659 --> 00:15:18,875 Not in pee! 389 00:15:19,161 --> 00:15:20,505 Please-a you have to hurry. 390 00:15:20,506 --> 00:15:21,710 I'll draw you a-the map 391 00:15:21,761 --> 00:15:24,047 and instructions how to shut off a-the valve-a. 392 00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:26,298 It'll be as easy as a-peeing in the shower! 393 00:15:26,435 --> 00:15:27,899 Oh, who pees in the shower? 394 00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:31,592 Well, it's not like if you suddenly have to pee, 395 00:15:31,627 --> 00:15:32,766 you're gonna get out of the shower. 396 00:15:32,970 --> 00:15:34,497 Yeah, seeing all that running water 397 00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:35,982 always makes me need to pee. 398 00:15:36,274 --> 00:15:37,708 You don't pee in the shower, dude! 399 00:15:37,709 --> 00:15:38,885 That's fucking disgusting! 400 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:39,975 Boys-a please! 401 00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:42,220 We've got to get this boy to-a that drainage valve 402 00:15:42,255 --> 00:15:43,495 or we're all a-gonna die. 403 00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:44,870 Jesus Christ! 404 00:15:49,859 --> 00:15:52,338 It has been many, many hours since the apocalypse, 405 00:15:52,373 --> 00:15:54,154 and all I keep thinking is "Why me?" 406 00:15:54,569 --> 00:15:56,166 Why am I the only one of my race 407 00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:58,308 God chose to survive in this minority-run world? 408 00:15:58,736 --> 00:15:59,489 When the smoke has cleared, 409 00:15:59,524 --> 00:16:01,094 I'm sure the minorities will start rebuilding. 410 00:16:01,286 --> 00:16:04,068 Building the world in their way. 411 00:16:04,570 --> 00:16:05,864 I can see it now. 412 00:16:06,427 --> 00:16:08,003 No... 413 00:16:11,044 --> 00:16:12,313 Alright, Eric Cartman. 414 00:16:12,348 --> 00:16:13,448 Let's hear your book report. 415 00:16:14,129 --> 00:16:15,474 I read Treasure Island 416 00:16:15,509 --> 00:16:17,826 because I was so happy when I saw that movie. 417 00:16:18,079 --> 00:16:18,625 Hey! 418 00:16:18,706 --> 00:16:21,281 You're living in a minority speaking country now. 419 00:16:21,316 --> 00:16:22,354 Say it right. 420 00:16:22,873 --> 00:16:25,677 Because I was so happy when I seen that movie. 421 00:16:26,577 --> 00:16:28,911 - Good. - No... 422 00:16:29,830 --> 00:16:31,404 Trying to find a job will be even harder. 423 00:16:32,169 --> 00:16:34,600 You don't expect to make the same amount of money 424 00:16:34,635 --> 00:16:36,158 that minorities make, do you? 425 00:16:36,193 --> 00:16:38,004 Well, I do just as much work... 426 00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:40,323 Ha ha. You're trash around here. 427 00:16:40,358 --> 00:16:42,479 You'll never make as much as a minority. 428 00:16:42,514 --> 00:16:44,407 No... 429 00:16:44,576 --> 00:16:47,490 Eventually, the minorities will do away with me all together. 430 00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:51,235 All those in favor of putting white people in camps? 431 00:16:51,270 --> 00:16:52,087 ALL: Aye! 432 00:16:52,454 --> 00:16:53,839 All those opposed? 433 00:16:53,874 --> 00:16:55,383 No... 434 00:16:55,917 --> 00:16:57,322 The minorities win! 435 00:16:58,575 --> 00:16:59,488 No! 436 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:01,730 No, I don't want to live in your world, do you understand? 437 00:17:01,791 --> 00:17:03,819 Your world is cold and void of any humanity. 438 00:17:04,492 --> 00:17:05,375 Just kill me. 439 00:17:05,410 --> 00:17:06,439 Kill me now! 440 00:17:07,345 --> 00:17:08,108 Do it! 441 00:17:09,392 --> 00:17:10,687 Okay, there-- 442 00:17:10,998 --> 00:17:12,744 We are almost a-ready for the diving. 443 00:17:12,745 --> 00:17:14,676 Now if you run a-into the any problems, 444 00:17:14,711 --> 00:17:16,463 you just tug a-three times on the cable 445 00:17:16,498 --> 00:17:18,871 and a-Pipi will a-pull you back a-to the surface. 446 00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,076 Let's just get this over with. 447 00:17:20,111 --> 00:17:22,445 You got a the map-a and a-Pipi's instructions. 448 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:23,649 - Yes. - Good. 449 00:17:23,684 --> 00:17:25,007 Now just-a one last thing. 450 00:17:25,042 --> 00:17:26,605 You need to drink some-a pee. 451 00:17:27,428 --> 00:17:27,998 What? 452 00:17:27,999 --> 00:17:30,338 You just need to drink about a three cups-a pee. 453 00:17:30,741 --> 00:17:31,299 Why? 454 00:17:31,334 --> 00:17:33,069 You swim a down-a deep in the pee, 455 00:17:33,130 --> 00:17:35,116 you get a-the pressure. The benz-a! 456 00:17:35,151 --> 00:17:37,493 You have to fill the inside of your body with some a-pee 457 00:17:37,528 --> 00:17:38,641 to compensate. 458 00:17:38,823 --> 00:17:40,438 That's true, dude. Didn't you see the Abyss? 459 00:17:40,604 --> 00:17:41,903 I am not. 460 00:17:41,904 --> 00:17:44,223 Not drinking pee. 461 00:17:44,388 --> 00:17:45,861 But only you can a-hold the breath 462 00:17:45,896 --> 00:17:47,621 a long time to swim down and release a-the valve 463 00:17:47,656 --> 00:17:49,029 and-a if you get a the benz-a, then you a fail 464 00:17:49,064 --> 00:17:50,264 and we all a-die! 465 00:17:50,376 --> 00:17:51,258 Just drink the pee, Kyle. 466 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,774 Please, Kyle. I wanna go home. 467 00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:54,192 What's a-the problem? 468 00:17:54,356 --> 00:17:56,494 When a-you pee, either in the toilet or in a-the shower, 469 00:17:56,555 --> 00:17:57,810 it all goes to the sewer. 470 00:17:57,845 --> 00:17:59,523 The sewer all a-goes to the ocean. 471 00:17:59,558 --> 00:18:00,982 The ocean is the water we all a-drink. 472 00:18:01,017 --> 00:18:02,721 You are always drinking the pee! 473 00:18:02,756 --> 00:18:04,026 That doesn't make me feel better! 474 00:18:04,061 --> 00:18:05,702 I wouldn't even be able to keep it down. 475 00:18:05,990 --> 00:18:06,913 Sure you will! 476 00:18:06,983 --> 00:18:08,470 You drank only pee for nine months 477 00:18:08,529 --> 00:18:10,446 when you lived in a-your mother's belly. 478 00:18:10,999 --> 00:18:11,472 No! 479 00:18:12,904 --> 00:18:13,801 Make way! Make way! 480 00:18:13,836 --> 00:18:15,326 I need to speak to the fire marshal! 481 00:18:15,447 --> 00:18:15,884 Sir! 482 00:18:16,173 --> 00:18:17,819 Sir, I just got off the phone with my colleagues 483 00:18:17,854 --> 00:18:18,609 at the university. 484 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,821 They've also been testing antidotes on monkeys. 485 00:18:21,002 --> 00:18:23,110 They're claiming that they've had success, 486 00:18:23,111 --> 00:18:25,702 using simple musa acuminata. 487 00:18:26,594 --> 00:18:27,859 Wait. You mean a banana. 488 00:18:28,229 --> 00:18:28,928 Yes. 489 00:18:28,963 --> 00:18:30,276 Is it possible? 490 00:18:30,467 --> 00:18:32,871 The antidote is something as simple as a banana? 491 00:18:33,494 --> 00:18:34,596 Get another monkey! 492 00:18:36,072 --> 00:18:37,008 Alright, Conners. 493 00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:38,275 [monkey making noises] 494 00:18:50,525 --> 00:18:51,972 Holy God! It works. 495 00:18:52,293 --> 00:18:54,100 Alright. Let's start moving in everyone! 496 00:18:54,135 --> 00:18:54,988 - Check for-- - Hold on! 497 00:18:55,023 --> 00:18:56,303 It is a promising lead, 498 00:18:56,338 --> 00:18:58,105 but this antidote hasn't yet been tested 499 00:18:58,140 --> 00:18:58,768 on a human. 500 00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:00,952 I'll do it. 501 00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:05,035 You can test the antidote on me. 502 00:19:14,255 --> 00:19:15,829 You sure you want to do this? 503 00:19:17,253 --> 00:19:18,577 Give me the banana. 504 00:19:22,558 --> 00:19:24,001 [munching] 505 00:19:31,903 --> 00:19:32,486 Agh. 506 00:19:37,683 --> 00:19:39,217 [groaning extensively] 507 00:19:43,012 --> 00:19:44,264 He looks agitated. 508 00:19:47,852 --> 00:19:48,849 He's losin' it! 509 00:19:48,884 --> 00:19:49,771 Stevens, your gun! 510 00:19:50,152 --> 00:19:51,357 No, wait! Wait. 511 00:19:55,099 --> 00:19:55,970 I'm okay. 512 00:19:56,478 --> 00:19:57,455 He's alright! 513 00:19:57,752 --> 00:19:59,195 The banana worked! 514 00:20:02,758 --> 00:20:03,584 Come on, dude. 515 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,205 I'm thinking about it! 516 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:06,384 Well, it's probably b-b-better 517 00:20:06,385 --> 00:20:07,459 if you don't think about it, Kyle. 518 00:20:07,494 --> 00:20:08,525 There's no more time-a! 519 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,407 You have to drink a-the pee now! 520 00:20:11,662 --> 00:20:13,701 [gulping] 521 00:20:17,852 --> 00:20:20,389 Come on, you have to drink all a-the pee! 522 00:20:20,424 --> 00:20:21,777 You can do it, Kyle! 523 00:20:29,252 --> 00:20:31,088 - Ah! [glass breaks] - Alright-a! 524 00:20:31,156 --> 00:20:32,997 Now you can open a-the release-a valve. 525 00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:34,223 Okay, so lets-a-- 526 00:20:36,286 --> 00:20:37,291 Hey, look! 527 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,468 Stan! 528 00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:43,456 Alright, they finally came for us! 529 00:20:43,491 --> 00:20:45,203 Are you fucking kidding me?! 530 00:20:45,314 --> 00:20:47,090 [cheering] 531 00:20:47,551 --> 00:20:48,925 [police chatter] 532 00:20:48,926 --> 00:20:51,062 [helicopter whirring overhead] 533 00:20:51,512 --> 00:20:52,508 Wait here a minute, Stan. 534 00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:53,352 I'm going to call your mother. 535 00:20:54,344 --> 00:20:55,153 Guys? 536 00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:56,480 Guys! 537 00:20:56,847 --> 00:20:59,605 Oh, it's true! You all did survive! 538 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:01,061 Aw, you lived? 539 00:21:01,096 --> 00:21:02,335 Oh my God, you guys! 540 00:21:02,370 --> 00:21:04,833 I really thought I was the only non-minority on Earth! 541 00:21:04,868 --> 00:21:06,298 How many of our species survived? 542 00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:08,506 That wasn't a Mayan apocalypse, you racist idiot! 543 00:21:08,694 --> 00:21:09,473 It wasn't? 544 00:21:09,733 --> 00:21:10,658 So then you mean... 545 00:21:11,063 --> 00:21:12,862 We do have until 2012. 546 00:21:13,328 --> 00:21:14,795 Well, it may be only three years, 547 00:21:14,830 --> 00:21:17,334 but I intend to live those precious years to the fullest! 548 00:21:17,706 --> 00:21:19,222 Will somebody just get me to a hospital? 549 00:21:19,257 --> 00:21:20,377 I need to get my stomach pumped. 550 00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:22,242 Aw, come on. It was just a little pee, Kyle. 551 00:21:22,277 --> 00:21:23,637 God dammit, don't you get it? 552 00:21:23,959 --> 00:21:24,905 I hate pee! 553 00:21:25,121 --> 00:21:26,616 I'm grossed out by pee! 554 00:21:26,877 --> 00:21:30,099 The only thing I find more disgusting than pee is bananas! 555 00:21:30,134 --> 00:21:32,174 Alright everyone, quick! Here you go! 556 00:21:32,209 --> 00:21:33,081 What's this? 557 00:21:33,148 --> 00:21:36,251 You all need to eat your banana immediately! 558 00:21:36,286 --> 00:21:37,173 What the hell for? 559 00:21:37,208 --> 00:21:39,685 Eat the banana or we have to put you down! 560 00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:42,905 Transcript: LeapinLar [OpenSubtitles.org] 561 00:21:43,306 --> 00:21:45,368 Sync and Edits: VeRdiKT [Subscene.com / Addic7ed.com]