1 00:00:15,147 --> 00:00:18,457 I'm going down to South Park Gonna have myself a time 2 00:00:18,547 --> 00:00:21,744 Friendly faces everywhere Humble folks without temptation 3 00:00:21,827 --> 00:00:25,058 Going down to South Park Gonna leave my woes behind 4 00:00:25,147 --> 00:00:28,344 Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour" 5 00:00:28,427 --> 00:00:31,658 Heading on up to South Park Gonna see if I can't unwind 6 00:00:31,747 --> 00:00:34,056 Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy Timmy, Timmy 7 00:00:34,147 --> 00:00:35,136 Living a lie, Timmy! 8 00:00:35,227 --> 00:00:37,866 Come on down to South Park And meet some friends of mine 9 00:00:45,107 --> 00:00:46,779 - All right, I'm done. - You're done? 10 00:00:46,867 --> 00:00:48,937 Yes, I've tallied up all the times you've been naughty 11 00:00:49,027 --> 00:00:50,506 and deducted the times you've been nice. 12 00:00:50,587 --> 00:00:52,145 Yeah, so how does it look? 13 00:00:52,227 --> 00:00:54,183 It doesn't look good, Eric, it doesn't look good. 14 00:00:54,267 --> 00:00:56,383 But I'll still be getting presents this year, right? 15 00:00:56,467 --> 00:01:00,699 Actually, it looks like this year you're gonna owe Santa 306 presents. 16 00:01:00,787 --> 00:01:03,460 - What? - 4,312 instances of being naughty 17 00:01:03,547 --> 00:01:06,141 against three deductions of being nice. It's just bad. 18 00:01:06,227 --> 00:01:08,457 Three? You didn't deduct all my nice invoices. 19 00:01:08,547 --> 00:01:09,900 Look, what about this one? 20 00:01:10,107 --> 00:01:13,258 Yes, well, I didn't think "Hitting Clyde in the balls with slingshot" 21 00:01:13,347 --> 00:01:14,462 really counted as nice. 22 00:01:14,547 --> 00:01:16,742 It was nice for Token. He laughed for, like, 20 minutes. 23 00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:18,499 You can't deduct things like that, Eric. 24 00:01:18,587 --> 00:01:20,020 Santa will know and then he'll come after you. 25 00:01:20,107 --> 00:01:22,780 God damn it, I have to get that Haibo robot doll, you son of a bitch! 26 00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:24,300 Hey, I'm just your naughty-or-nice accountant. 27 00:01:24,387 --> 00:01:26,025 Don't blame me for the numbers. 28 00:01:26,107 --> 00:01:28,985 Haven't you seen the Haibo doll? It's like a pet, a robot pet. 29 00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:32,059 You have to feed it and pet it or else it dies, and it's the coolest thing ever. 30 00:01:32,147 --> 00:01:33,500 Santa has to bring me one. 31 00:01:33,587 --> 00:01:35,578 Well, look, aren't there any other nice things you've done 32 00:01:35,667 --> 00:01:37,498 recently we can write off here? 33 00:01:37,587 --> 00:01:39,817 I brushed my teeth last night. 34 00:01:39,907 --> 00:01:42,102 Brushing your teeth isn't naughty or nice, Eric. 35 00:01:42,187 --> 00:01:44,985 It just falls more into the category of "Brushing Your Teeth." 36 00:01:45,067 --> 00:01:48,457 Well, there's still time before Christmas. Can't I still make up for it? 37 00:01:48,547 --> 00:01:51,186 If you cured cancer and AIDS next week, 38 00:01:51,267 --> 00:01:52,586 you would still owe two presents. 39 00:01:52,707 --> 00:01:53,742 Jesus Christ! 40 00:01:53,827 --> 00:01:56,295 I'm afraid you're going to have to find a way to do 41 00:01:56,387 --> 00:02:00,699 the nicest, greatest thing anyone has ever done. Ever. 42 00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:03,782 Good evening, everyone. 43 00:02:03,907 --> 00:02:06,546 In a moment, we'll be lighting the South Park Christmas tree 44 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,060 to kick off the holidays. 45 00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:12,382 Christmas tree, Christmas tree. 46 00:02:12,467 --> 00:02:16,619 Hi, guys. A very merry Christmas to you. God bless us, everyone. 47 00:02:16,707 --> 00:02:17,935 What're you doing, Cartman? 48 00:02:18,027 --> 00:02:20,063 I'm just letting you guys know how special you are to me. 49 00:02:20,147 --> 00:02:23,264 But now, before we light the tree, I think we should all reflect for a moment 50 00:02:23,347 --> 00:02:25,781 on those who are less fortunate than us. 51 00:02:25,867 --> 00:02:28,222 Right now in Iraq, there are children who fear us 52 00:02:28,307 --> 00:02:30,059 and what we might do to their country. 53 00:02:30,147 --> 00:02:34,459 The threat of war touches us all, but over in Iraq, there is no Christmas. 54 00:02:34,547 --> 00:02:35,536 They have nothing. 55 00:02:35,627 --> 00:02:38,539 I hate when the Mayor uses Christmas for her own political agenda. 56 00:02:38,627 --> 00:02:39,946 Light the damn tree! 57 00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:42,939 Yeah! Christmas tree, Christmas tree! 58 00:02:43,027 --> 00:02:44,745 - Oh, my God, that's it. - What's it? 59 00:02:44,827 --> 00:02:47,421 Don't you see? This time of year we should be bringing Christmas 60 00:02:47,507 --> 00:02:49,975 to the less-fortunates. Follow me. 61 00:02:51,107 --> 00:02:53,257 You guys, come on, right now! 62 00:02:53,987 --> 00:02:57,582 All right, here to light the Christmas tree is a very special young man 63 00:02:57,667 --> 00:03:00,261 who shows us all the true meaning of Christmas, 64 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,700 Jimmy. 65 00:03:03,907 --> 00:03:05,226 Wow, what a terrific audience. 66 00:03:05,307 --> 00:03:06,945 Thank you for giving me this great honour, Mayor. 67 00:03:07,027 --> 00:03:08,858 Before I light the tree, 68 00:03:08,947 --> 00:03:13,384 I was wondering if I could sing my favourite Christmas song, real quick? 69 00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:16,900 Well, we'd love a Christmas song, wouldn't we, folks? 70 00:03:16,987 --> 00:03:19,740 Christmas song, Christmas song. 71 00:03:19,827 --> 00:03:21,658 All right, here it goes. 72 00:03:22,387 --> 00:03:25,026 On the first day of 73 00:03:27,227 --> 00:03:29,457 Christmas my 74 00:03:30,347 --> 00:03:32,781 True love 75 00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:36,659 Gave to 76 00:03:40,427 --> 00:03:41,496 Me 77 00:03:45,587 --> 00:03:46,815 Oh, no. 78 00:03:47,747 --> 00:03:50,386 And here are some old toys that I don't need any more. 79 00:03:50,467 --> 00:03:52,583 And here, here are some Christmas cookies. 80 00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,225 And some holly and mistletoe. 81 00:03:54,307 --> 00:03:56,867 This will be the happiest Christmas the Middle East has ever seen. 82 00:03:56,947 --> 00:03:58,300 Guys, get those lights down from the door. 83 00:03:58,387 --> 00:04:00,264 We'll give them to the needy Iraqis, too. 84 00:04:00,347 --> 00:04:01,496 Cartman, why are you doing this? 85 00:04:01,587 --> 00:04:03,976 They don't have Christmas there, guys. We have to give it to them. 86 00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:06,786 That's a retarded idea that won't work. Why are you really doing this? 87 00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:09,665 Howdy ho! 88 00:04:12,347 --> 00:04:13,780 Mr. Hankey. 89 00:04:13,867 --> 00:04:15,983 I hate that stupid Christmas Poo. 90 00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:18,706 Hello, Mr. Hankey. A merry Christmas to you. 91 00:04:18,787 --> 00:04:23,099 Gee whiz, things sure look Christmassy out here. What're you boys doing? 92 00:04:23,187 --> 00:04:24,905 Cartman's trying to bring Christmas to Iraq. 93 00:04:24,987 --> 00:04:27,979 The people of Iraq deserve a good Christmas just like everyone else. 94 00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:32,458 Well, gosh, Eric, looks like you really have the Christmas spirit. 95 00:04:33,747 --> 00:04:37,376 I know someone who can help! Santa Claus. 96 00:04:37,467 --> 00:04:38,946 - Really? - Really? 97 00:04:39,027 --> 00:04:41,905 Sure. We should take this stuff to him right away. 98 00:04:41,987 --> 00:04:44,023 But how are we going to get to the North Pole? 99 00:04:44,107 --> 00:04:48,385 Oh, that's no problem, we just need a little Christmas magic. 100 00:04:57,427 --> 00:05:00,146 All aboard the Poo-Choo Express. 101 00:05:00,227 --> 00:05:01,626 Wow! 102 00:05:01,707 --> 00:05:03,299 - That smells. - Yeah. 103 00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:07,096 - Next stop, the North Pole. - Get the rest of the stuff, you guys. 104 00:05:07,387 --> 00:05:09,264 - I don't really want to get on that. - Me neither. 105 00:05:09,347 --> 00:05:11,702 You guys, we have to bring Christmas to those less-fortunates. 106 00:05:11,787 --> 00:05:14,540 - Now come on. - Let's go, Poo-Choo train. 107 00:05:19,107 --> 00:05:22,019 Poo-Choo train's laying down its tracks with a... 108 00:05:23,107 --> 00:05:24,699 All the way and back 109 00:05:24,787 --> 00:05:27,301 Poo-Poo train is my favourite thing 110 00:05:27,387 --> 00:05:30,857 Spreading Christmas joy as we ride and sing 111 00:05:30,947 --> 00:05:32,380 Dude, what the hell has gotten into Cartman? 112 00:05:32,467 --> 00:05:33,502 I don't know. 113 00:05:33,587 --> 00:05:36,659 Christmas time wouldn't be the same 114 00:05:36,747 --> 00:05:40,979 Without hugs and kisses and a Poo-Choo train 115 00:05:41,147 --> 00:05:44,583 And a partridge in a 116 00:05:45,827 --> 00:05:47,021 Pear 117 00:05:48,227 --> 00:05:50,297 Tree 118 00:05:51,187 --> 00:05:54,179 On the third day of... 119 00:05:58,587 --> 00:06:01,226 Here we are, kids, the North Pole. 120 00:06:04,107 --> 00:06:05,984 - Finally. - God, it took forever. 121 00:06:06,067 --> 00:06:08,945 - Wow, is that where Santa lives? - That's it. 122 00:06:09,027 --> 00:06:11,825 Santa's Fortress of Solitude. 123 00:06:14,867 --> 00:06:17,461 - Mr. Hankey. - We need to see Santa right away 124 00:06:17,547 --> 00:06:20,903 - On urgent Christmas business. - Sure thing. 125 00:06:23,227 --> 00:06:25,457 Hey, aren't you guys the Underpants Gnomes? 126 00:06:25,547 --> 00:06:28,823 Ten months out of the year, but this time of year we help Santa. 127 00:06:28,907 --> 00:06:30,101 Here he is. 128 00:06:31,427 --> 00:06:32,860 Merry Christmas. 129 00:06:32,947 --> 00:06:34,016 - Wow! - Wow! 130 00:06:34,187 --> 00:06:35,540 Howdy ho, Santa. 131 00:06:35,627 --> 00:06:39,256 - Mr. Hankey, how are you? - All ready for Christmas? 132 00:06:39,347 --> 00:06:42,544 I was just starting to look over the new naughty-and-nice list 133 00:06:42,627 --> 00:06:44,140 the gnomes prepared for me. 134 00:06:45,267 --> 00:06:47,178 Are the tabulations all closed off, then? 135 00:06:47,267 --> 00:06:50,737 No, they keep it open until midnight of Christmas Eve. 136 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:54,945 Some kids actually try to cram in a lot of niceness right at the end. 137 00:06:55,187 --> 00:06:57,064 That's so lame of them. 138 00:06:57,307 --> 00:07:01,061 Santa, my friends are trying to do something very special this Christmas. 139 00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:03,576 - Tell him, Eric. - Well, Santa, it's just that 140 00:07:03,667 --> 00:07:05,305 I was thinking about all the people in Iraq 141 00:07:05,387 --> 00:07:07,503 who are afraid that we might bomb them and I just thought, 142 00:07:07,707 --> 00:07:09,937 well, maybe it wouldn't hurt to send them 143 00:07:10,027 --> 00:07:12,018 a little bit of our Christmas spirit as well. 144 00:07:13,107 --> 00:07:14,620 You know, you're right. 145 00:07:14,707 --> 00:07:18,063 Santa hasn't been to that part of the world in a long time. 146 00:07:18,147 --> 00:07:21,423 Perhaps Santa could bring peace to this whole situation. 147 00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:22,826 That's what I thought. 148 00:07:22,907 --> 00:07:27,378 Gnomes, load up the sleigh with toys. Santa's going to make a special run. 149 00:07:27,467 --> 00:07:28,616 All right! 150 00:07:28,707 --> 00:07:32,495 And you boys can all watch me from our flight control room. 151 00:07:34,267 --> 00:07:39,387 And a partridge in a pear tree 152 00:07:40,107 --> 00:07:45,340 On the fourth day of Christmas 153 00:07:45,427 --> 00:07:50,182 My true love gave to me 154 00:07:51,747 --> 00:07:53,977 This is Santa's flight control centre. 155 00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:56,422 From here, we can monitor Santa from satellite 156 00:07:56,507 --> 00:07:58,896 as he travels the globe delivering presents. 157 00:07:58,987 --> 00:08:00,022 Wow, cool! 158 00:08:00,107 --> 00:08:03,463 Hey, it looks like Santa's already made it to Baghdad. 159 00:08:05,667 --> 00:08:08,465 Merry Christmas, everyone. 160 00:08:16,187 --> 00:08:18,257 A merry Christmas to all. 161 00:08:21,387 --> 00:08:23,184 Merry Christmas. 162 00:08:27,387 --> 00:08:29,218 I'm hit, I'm hit! 163 00:08:29,827 --> 00:08:32,057 Sleigh is hit. I repeat, sleigh is hit. 164 00:08:32,587 --> 00:08:34,976 Instrument failure at 0600 feet. 165 00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:39,225 The sleigh is going down. 166 00:08:39,307 --> 00:08:41,901 Sleigh is going down. I repeat, sleigh is going down! 167 00:08:41,987 --> 00:08:43,102 Hang on, Santa. 168 00:08:43,187 --> 00:08:46,179 Sleigh 1 is going down, he is going down. 169 00:08:46,427 --> 00:08:49,021 Grab all the ground troops and standby for deployment. 170 00:08:54,147 --> 00:08:57,901 01 down, 01 down. Repeat, 01 down. 171 00:09:00,347 --> 00:09:03,703 We got a Red Sleigh down, we got a Red Sleigh down. 172 00:09:07,107 --> 00:09:09,496 Red Sleigh 1, this is North Pole. 173 00:09:11,387 --> 00:09:13,776 Red Sleigh 1, this is North Pole. 174 00:09:13,867 --> 00:09:15,220 Mr. Kringle? 175 00:09:19,987 --> 00:09:22,421 Jesus Christ, they killed him! 176 00:09:22,507 --> 00:09:25,738 No, Santa Claus can't be dead, he can't. 177 00:09:25,827 --> 00:09:27,943 Why would Iraqis do that? Why? 178 00:09:28,027 --> 00:09:31,224 It certainly doesn't seem very Christmassy of them. 179 00:09:31,307 --> 00:09:33,867 North Pole, this is Santa. 180 00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:37,624 - Santa, are you all right? - What is your status? 181 00:09:37,907 --> 00:09:41,820 Sleigh is down, reindeer all dead. 182 00:09:42,387 --> 00:09:44,617 Both Santa's legs are broken. 183 00:09:45,387 --> 00:09:47,662 Santa's very sad. 184 00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:52,546 Santa will have to... Oh, no. They're coming for me. 185 00:09:53,267 --> 00:09:56,145 Stay back, you bastards! Stay back! 186 00:09:58,267 --> 00:09:59,541 - Oh, no. - Well, what are you gnomes 187 00:09:59,627 --> 00:10:01,265 sitting there for? You have to go rescue him! 188 00:10:01,347 --> 00:10:04,384 What the hell are we supposed to do? We're, like, nine inches tall. 189 00:10:04,467 --> 00:10:07,777 But now I'm never gonna get my Haibo robot doll. 190 00:10:07,867 --> 00:10:09,266 Is that what this is all about? 191 00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:11,622 You came up with this whole idea so you could get a stupid toy? 192 00:10:11,707 --> 00:10:14,062 It's not stupid, it's a toy that you can starve. 193 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,456 If you don't feed it, it dies. It's so cool. 194 00:10:16,547 --> 00:10:18,265 Well, good going, asshole. Thanks to you, 195 00:10:18,347 --> 00:10:21,259 there's not gonna be any Christmas, and there's no one left to help us. 196 00:10:21,867 --> 00:10:23,016 Oh, Christ. 197 00:10:23,867 --> 00:10:25,141 - Jesus. - Jesus. 198 00:10:25,707 --> 00:10:28,983 Hey, that's right, Jesus can save anybody. 199 00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:32,104 Follow me. You can take Santa's backup sleigh. 200 00:10:37,547 --> 00:10:42,177 On the fifth day of Christmas 201 00:10:42,587 --> 00:10:47,581 My true love gave to me 202 00:10:48,227 --> 00:10:54,700 Five golden rings 203 00:10:59,707 --> 00:11:02,665 Four calling... 204 00:11:05,187 --> 00:11:07,417 We fed Jesus Christ's data into the autopilot. 205 00:11:07,507 --> 00:11:09,463 The sleigh should be able to take you right to him. 206 00:11:09,547 --> 00:11:12,107 I hope so, or else Santa Claus is as good as dead. 207 00:11:12,347 --> 00:11:14,099 Here it is, Red Sleigh 2. 208 00:11:14,187 --> 00:11:16,906 Come on, gang, it's up to us to save Christmas. 209 00:11:16,987 --> 00:11:19,342 Tell Santa's workers to keep making toys. 210 00:11:19,427 --> 00:11:21,577 We'll have Santa back in no time. 211 00:11:24,827 --> 00:11:26,101 How do we start this thing? 212 00:11:26,187 --> 00:11:28,337 You just have to call out the reindeer's names. 213 00:11:28,507 --> 00:11:30,737 Oh, yeah. On Dasher, on Prancer, on Comet... 214 00:11:30,827 --> 00:11:34,297 No, no, they're all dead. You have to call out the new ones. 215 00:11:34,387 --> 00:11:37,106 On Steven, on Fluffy, on Horace and Chantel. 216 00:11:37,187 --> 00:11:40,304 On Skippy and Rainbow, and Patches and Montel. 217 00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:45,344 Good luck finding Jesus. 218 00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:50,023 Wow, look, you guys, we're riding in Santa's sleigh. 219 00:11:50,107 --> 00:11:52,302 We should be able to find Jesus in no time. 220 00:11:52,387 --> 00:11:54,184 I'm riding in Santa's sleigh 221 00:11:54,267 --> 00:11:56,576 So high above the trees at Christmas time 222 00:11:56,667 --> 00:11:58,339 With candy cane wishes and smiles 223 00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:00,019 What're you doing? 224 00:12:00,907 --> 00:12:03,296 I'm having a precious Christmastime moment, Kyle, if you don't mind. 225 00:12:03,387 --> 00:12:05,855 Singing a Christmas song isn't gonna get you nice deductions, Cartman. 226 00:12:05,947 --> 00:12:06,936 Don't forget it's because of you 227 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,142 that Santa's sleigh got shot down. 228 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,104 It isn't my fault that Iraqis are filled with hate. 229 00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:14,180 All I'm saying is, it's going to take a lot of singing to make up for that. 230 00:12:14,787 --> 00:12:18,097 Christmas magic time on Santa's sleigh so high in the sky 231 00:12:18,187 --> 00:12:20,462 Candy cane, children's smiles... 232 00:12:20,547 --> 00:12:22,902 Six geese a-laying 233 00:12:24,627 --> 00:12:29,747 Five golden rings 234 00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:37,821 Four calling birds 235 00:12:39,987 --> 00:12:41,898 Where are you taking me? 236 00:12:46,027 --> 00:12:48,336 You are all being very naughty. 237 00:12:51,147 --> 00:12:53,536 Why you come to Iraq, my main man? 238 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,544 To bring happiness and joy to the children. 239 00:12:57,627 --> 00:13:00,664 And this is... This is what you think brings happy? 240 00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:03,466 This is material. This is commercialism. 241 00:13:03,547 --> 00:13:05,378 Your country is sick. Sick. 242 00:13:05,467 --> 00:13:09,096 No, your country has just lost all its Christmas spirit. 243 00:13:10,027 --> 00:13:11,426 What's going on here? 244 00:13:11,507 --> 00:13:13,577 America wants to bomb my house, my main man. 245 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:17,706 They want to kill my wife and children. We need to know, what is their plan? 246 00:13:17,787 --> 00:13:20,426 I don't know, I live in the North Pole. 247 00:13:24,787 --> 00:13:25,776 What're you doing? 248 00:13:25,867 --> 00:13:28,301 They say that the Chinese were the first to experiment 249 00:13:28,387 --> 00:13:30,503 with electroshock to the testicles. 250 00:13:30,587 --> 00:13:33,147 Oh, no, not Santa's balls. 251 00:13:42,107 --> 00:13:44,337 What else is America planning? 252 00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:48,183 I'm gonna... kill you! 253 00:13:48,267 --> 00:13:50,622 You're not in a position to kill anyone, my main man. 254 00:13:50,707 --> 00:13:52,663 I just want you to tell me America's plan. 255 00:13:52,747 --> 00:13:56,217 Then we're in for a long night, because I don't know... 256 00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:24,942 Howdy ho! 257 00:14:27,347 --> 00:14:28,985 - Jesus. - Stan, Kyle, 258 00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:30,341 Mr. Hankey and Eric Cartman. 259 00:14:30,427 --> 00:14:31,701 What're you doing here, my children? 260 00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:33,903 Jesus, Santa's sleigh was shot down over Iraq. 261 00:14:33,987 --> 00:14:35,340 Santa? Is he all right? 262 00:14:35,427 --> 00:14:37,497 We don't know. They lost all contact with him. 263 00:14:37,587 --> 00:14:38,781 We have to get him out of there. 264 00:14:38,867 --> 00:14:42,177 - Do you know a way? - Yes. Yes, I think I do. 265 00:14:43,347 --> 00:14:45,463 We need a little Christmas miracle. 266 00:14:50,147 --> 00:14:52,422 Lock and load, we're going in. 267 00:14:53,107 --> 00:14:57,703 On the seventh day of Christmas 268 00:14:57,787 --> 00:15:01,177 My true love... 269 00:15:05,787 --> 00:15:09,018 You, you're a sick capitalist dog, my main man. 270 00:15:12,627 --> 00:15:15,016 This is Baghdad? God, what a... hole. 271 00:15:15,107 --> 00:15:17,826 I mean, wow, these poor unfortunate people. 272 00:15:17,907 --> 00:15:19,659 - Red Sleigh 2, come in. - We're here. 273 00:15:19,747 --> 00:15:21,703 You're coming up on the source of the signal. 274 00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:22,902 You're right on top of him. 275 00:15:22,987 --> 00:15:25,740 He must be in that building below us. Land it on the roof, Mr. Hankey. 276 00:15:25,827 --> 00:15:27,340 Howdy ho, Jesus. 277 00:15:34,387 --> 00:15:35,945 Wait here, I can handle this. 278 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,257 Yea, look upon me and know me. 279 00:15:42,187 --> 00:15:44,621 My children, you should know something. 280 00:15:45,147 --> 00:15:46,216 I'm packing. 281 00:15:48,627 --> 00:15:49,946 Let's go! 282 00:15:50,467 --> 00:15:53,504 This is such a magical Christmas adventure, you guys. 283 00:15:55,667 --> 00:16:00,582 On the eleventh day of Christmas 284 00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:05,536 My true love gave to me 285 00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:11,104 Eleven pipers piping 286 00:16:12,547 --> 00:16:15,937 Drink it. Drink the oil. This is all you Western capitalists want. 287 00:16:17,307 --> 00:16:18,740 Jesus Christ! 288 00:16:25,347 --> 00:16:27,861 Thank... Thank God for you, Jesus. 289 00:16:27,947 --> 00:16:30,984 - Here. Can you walk? - Santa's legs are broken. 290 00:16:31,707 --> 00:16:33,299 They are healed. 291 00:16:41,627 --> 00:16:43,026 Santa... 292 00:16:43,227 --> 00:16:45,422 I just couldn't do it. 293 00:16:46,427 --> 00:16:50,102 I just couldn't let him live. He shocked Santa's balls. 294 00:16:51,507 --> 00:16:54,658 - More soldiers are coming. - Let's move. Move! 295 00:16:55,387 --> 00:16:59,460 Eight maids a-milking 296 00:17:02,067 --> 00:17:04,297 Get up the stairs. The sleigh is on the roof. 297 00:17:04,387 --> 00:17:06,025 Jesus, behind you. 298 00:17:07,907 --> 00:17:10,102 - Jesus! - Jesus! 299 00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:18,823 Jesus? Jesus? 300 00:17:21,987 --> 00:17:25,502 Don't worry, Jesus, it's nothing. It's just a scratch. 301 00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:28,055 You're a bad liar. 302 00:17:29,067 --> 00:17:32,025 Hey, but we sure gave them one hell of a fight, huh? 303 00:17:32,107 --> 00:17:33,620 We sure did, Jesus. 304 00:17:35,227 --> 00:17:37,536 Dude, this is pretty... up, right here. 305 00:17:37,627 --> 00:17:39,538 - Santa... - I'm here, Jesus. 306 00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:44,939 Don't ever let them take away our Christmas spirit. 307 00:17:48,707 --> 00:17:52,143 - Oh, my God, Iraqis killed Jesus. - You bastards! 308 00:17:53,867 --> 00:17:55,061 Come on, kids! 309 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:01,387 Get to the sleigh, get to the sleigh! 310 00:18:06,467 --> 00:18:07,900 Start the sleigh. 311 00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:11,662 On Steven, on Fluffy, on Horace and Chantel. 312 00:18:11,747 --> 00:18:14,136 On Skippy and Rainbow, and Patches and Montel. 313 00:18:23,107 --> 00:18:26,736 Look at me I'm riding high in Santa's sleigh 314 00:18:26,827 --> 00:18:29,022 It's a Christmas special time for me... 315 00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:32,019 Shut up, Cartman, your sweet Christmas act isn't fooling anybody. 316 00:18:32,107 --> 00:18:33,506 It's not an act, Kyle. 317 00:18:33,587 --> 00:18:36,579 All I wanted was for these people to understand what Christmas means. 318 00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,339 You're right, kid. 319 00:18:39,347 --> 00:18:42,737 - What're you doing, Santa? - I came to bring Christmas to Iraq 320 00:18:42,827 --> 00:18:45,864 and by God, I'm gonna do it. 321 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,663 Merry Christmas. 322 00:19:09,747 --> 00:19:11,419 RPG, four o'clock. 323 00:19:18,627 --> 00:19:21,858 Boy, things sure are starting to look Christmassy now. 324 00:19:21,947 --> 00:19:23,744 Merry Christmas. 325 00:19:32,187 --> 00:19:35,862 Merry Christmas to all. And to all a good night. 326 00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:43,860 And a partridge in a 327 00:19:43,947 --> 00:19:47,462 pear tree 328 00:19:50,227 --> 00:19:51,342 That's it? 329 00:19:51,427 --> 00:19:53,736 That's it, the song's over, we can light the tree. 330 00:19:56,427 --> 00:19:57,780 - Finally! - Go on, Jimmy, 331 00:19:57,867 --> 00:20:00,779 there's only five more seconds until Christmas. 332 00:20:08,427 --> 00:20:10,463 Christmas is ruined again. 333 00:20:17,107 --> 00:20:18,460 - Wow! - Wow! 334 00:20:21,347 --> 00:20:22,336 Stan. 335 00:20:22,427 --> 00:20:25,100 - Kyle. - Mom, Dad, we rode in Santa's sleigh. 336 00:20:25,187 --> 00:20:26,415 We brought Christmas to Iraq. 337 00:20:26,507 --> 00:20:30,022 Everyone. Everyone, can I please have your attention? 338 00:20:30,107 --> 00:20:32,860 Christmas is a very special time of year, 339 00:20:32,947 --> 00:20:35,222 but this year it almost didn't happen. 340 00:20:35,307 --> 00:20:39,061 There's a man named Jesus who gave his life to save me. 341 00:20:39,147 --> 00:20:42,981 And so I declare that every year on Christmas Day, 342 00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:47,777 we should remember Jesus for what he did and thank him for it. 343 00:20:47,867 --> 00:20:51,382 From now on, Christmas will be a day for remembering 344 00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:53,981 a brave man named Jesus. 345 00:20:55,787 --> 00:20:59,257 Now, if you'll all excuse me, I've got a lot of work to do. 346 00:20:59,347 --> 00:21:00,939 I'll help you, Santa. 347 00:21:01,587 --> 00:21:05,136 Oh, and boys, you might want to check under the Christmas tree. 348 00:21:07,627 --> 00:21:09,857 Merry Christmas. 349 00:21:16,507 --> 00:21:19,658 Wow, look, you guys! Santa got us all Haibo dolls. 350 00:21:20,787 --> 00:21:22,539 God damn it! 351 00:21:22,627 --> 00:21:24,936 Cartman, I thought all you wanted was a Haibo doll. 352 00:21:25,027 --> 00:21:28,656 Yeah, but not if you guys have one, too. Now it's worthless and gay. 353 00:21:28,747 --> 00:21:31,102 God damn it, I'll never try to be nice again! 354 00:21:31,187 --> 00:21:34,384 Well, all in all, I have to say this was a pretty special Christmas. 355 00:21:35,947 --> 00:21:37,426 - Oh, hey, Kenny. - Dude, where have you been? 356 00:21:38,587 --> 00:21:40,020 Well, come on, we gotta tell you what happened. 357 00:21:40,107 --> 00:21:41,096 I'm sure glad it's over with. 358 00:21:41,187 --> 00:21:43,143 Yeah, but I feel like things are finally back to normal.