1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Episode 706 - Lil' Crime Stoppers 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,300 I'm going down to South Park, gonna have myself a time. 3 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:13,700 Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation. 4 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,900 Going down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind. 5 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:20,400 Ample parking day or night, people spouting, "Howdy neighbor!" 6 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:23,600 Headin’ on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind. 7 00:00:26,900 --> 00:00:30,100 So, come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine. 8 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:36,400 Yes? Oh, hello, boys. 9 00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:40,500 Hello, sir. South Park Junior Detectives. We're wondering if you have any crimes to be solved, for a dollar. 10 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:45,000 Oooo, little crime stoppers, huh? Well, I'm afraid I don't have any crimes I need solved right now. 11 00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:46,000 Awww, shit! 12 00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:48,200 All right, sir, well, please call us if you need anything. 13 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:50,000 I'll do that. Have fun, boys. 14 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:53,200 Stupid assholes! How come nobody has a crime to solve? 15 00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:55,400 Yeah, maybe starting a detective club isn't such a bright idea 16 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:57,400 It's a great idea, we just have to keep working at it. 17 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,500 Oh, hello there boys. 18 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,600 Hello, ma'am, we're detectives with the South Park Crime Unit. 19 00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:06,500 Do you have any crimes you need to be solved, for a dollar? 20 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,200 Ohh, neighborhood detectives, huh? Well let me thin.. 21 00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:11,800 Oh yes, there is something! - Really? 22 00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:16,500 Yes. Two days ago I put a fresh baked cherry pie out on my window sill to cool. 23 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,900 And later, when I went to get it, it was gone. 24 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,700 My God... 25 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,400 Have you reported this to any other authorities? 26 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:25,300 Noo, but I think it's a perfect case for you kids. 27 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,000 Cool! We'll see what we can find, ma'am. 28 00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:28,900 We're on the case. 29 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,000 What have you got, Marsh? 30 00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:32,700 Detective McCormick found something interesting. 31 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,600 Jesus, we're too late. 32 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,600 I think we can piece this case together now. 33 00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:47,900 My pie tin! Oooh, but what happened to the pie? 34 00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:50,600 Well, we've all talked it through and we've come up with a theory. 35 00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,900 Well, what do you thnk happened, little detectives? 36 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,900 You said you set the pie in the window sill, where it must have sat for some time. 37 00:01:57,250 --> 00:02:00,100 But its sweet smell attracted the attention of somebody. 38 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:01,900 Your husband. 39 00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:06,000 He wanted that pie badly, but he knew that he was not allowed to eat it yet. 40 00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:08,400 Slowly the rage built inside his mind. 41 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:10,000 Why won't she let me eat that pie? 42 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:12,200 Why does she always stop me from doing what I wanna do?! 43 00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,700 His only solution became obvious: 44 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,000 Kill her! 45 00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:16,600 His plan was to use a hammer. 46 00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:19,500 Bash, bash, BASH your skull in, causing instant death. 47 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,500 Then to make it impossible for police to identify the body, 48 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,200 he'd use a shovel to remove your head. 49 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,100 Then saw off the arms and legs. 50 00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:27,600 The torso he would dump into the lake. 51 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,000 The arms and legs he would dissolve with acid and lye in the bathtub. 52 00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:33,500 And then, finally, he'd be able to eat that pie. 53 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,700 But before he could go through with this entire plan, 54 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,500 he discovered that the pie had already been eaten... 55 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,200 ...by your dog. 56 00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:41,500 Looks like the game is over, old man! 57 00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:46,700 Oh my God, what kind of television have you kids been watching?? 58 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:48,200 Just the news. 59 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,900 All right, all right, you you boys run along now. 60 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:52,900 Hey, you owe us a dollar, lady. 61 00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:54,700 Fine, here, just go! 62 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,100 Wow, look, you guys! Our first dollar! 63 00:02:58,300 --> 00:02:59,900 We're in business! 64 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,300 Kenny, you got the f-a-g on that perp in Washington 65 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,700 Boys, you have a little visitor. 66 00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:12,000 Is this the South Park Crime Unit? 67 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:14,500 Yes it is! 68 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:16,200 I lost my dollie. 69 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,300 Thank you, Ms. Secretary, that will be all. 70 00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:22,000 And get some more cookies and coffee! We're not paying you to sit on your ass! 71 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:23,500 Do you kow where your doll is? 72 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,500 If I knew where it was, it wouldn't be lost. 73 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,000 All right, Sarah, come over here. 74 00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:30,500 Now, I want you to describe what the doll looks like to our 75 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:31,600 sketch artist, Kenny. 76 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,800 She has curly blonde hair. 77 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:37,300 And a red dress. 78 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,400 And a turned-up nose. 79 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,900 And a blue bow in her hair. 80 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:44,500 You got it, Ken? 81 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,500 All right, let's see. 82 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,300 Damnit Kenny, that's not what she said! 83 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:50,800 Put that away, dude! 84 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,800 Don't worry, ma'am. We'll find your doll. 85 00:03:59,150 --> 00:04:00,600 No sign of forced entry. 86 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:02,200 But the window isn't locked. 87 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,600 Right, so it's possible that the theif sat out in that tree. 88 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,300 He would have watched Sarah with the doll, 89 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,800 possibly while cutting the palms of his hands with a large knife. 90 00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:10,300 The pain gave him sick pleasure. 91 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,400 Disposing of the doll wouldn't be easy. 92 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,500 He would have had to have brough a shovel to decapitate it. 93 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,700 We're going to need semen samples from everything in this room. 94 00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:19,500 All right, let's do this by the books! McDonnell, 95 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,500 give me smears of all the places the doll used to be! 96 00:04:21,550 --> 00:04:23,200 Mitchell, run a tap on the phone! 97 00:04:23,700 --> 00:04:25,100 Hey, kid, what are you doing? 98 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,300 Agent Tucker, FBI! And you? 99 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,800 Detective Marsh. I'm in charge of this investigation! 100 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,800 Not anymore, you're not! 101 00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:34,200 Hey, this is our case! You can't come in and take over! 102 00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:36,000 Can't we? You guys are playing Detective. 103 00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:39,300 We're playing FBI. That gives us jurisdiction over you! 104 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,500 Aw crap! 105 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,200 I want choppers on the roof ready to go! 106 00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,200 Dude, we've been working this case since two-thirty! 107 00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:47,300 Good. Then you can help us by telling me everything you know. 108 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:49,900 Son of a bitch stupid FBI! 109 00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:52,300 Well, I guess we can go back to playing laundromat. 110 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,200 No! We're not gonna stop playing detectives! 111 00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:56,700 We've just gotta find that doll before thos FBI guys do. 112 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:57,300 Yeah! 113 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,200 Yeah, but how? 114 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:00,500 We're gonna have to just start bringing in people for questioning. 115 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,900 Right. I think I know exactly where to start. 116 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,500 Where were you this morning at nine o'clock, Butters?! 117 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:08,600 Ah, I was at home. 118 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,100 Your story is full of holes and I'm gonna beat your ass 119 00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:11,400 if you don't start tellin' the truth! 120 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:15,000 Awww, don't be so hard. Maybe he's tellin' the truth, huh? 121 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,800 They've gotten really good at this good cop-bad cop thing. 122 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,600 You're going down, Butters! You hear me?! 123 00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:22,400 Aw. Now just be nice. Poor lil thing. 124 00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:24,400 You're worth a two-dollar criminal and you're lying! 125 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,600 Aw, please don't make him confess. 126 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:29,100 Well I don't have nothin' to confess. Honestly. 127 00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:32,100 Fine! Then you won't mind giving us a semen sample. 128 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,800 How do I do that? 129 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,200 You just make the semen come out of your body 130 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,300 and fill it in this cup! 131 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,200 Well how do I make semen... come out of my body? 132 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:39,000 Stop playing games! 133 00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:40,700 I'm not playing. I really don't know! 134 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,100 That does it! Wait right here! 135 00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:46,000 Guys, did you hear that? 136 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,300 Butters doesn't know how you make seme come out of your body. 137 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,600 How... do you make semen come out? 138 00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,300 I don't know. I was hoping you guys did. 139 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:53,700 It's that thing we learned about in school 140 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,700 where you pull on your weiner until white stuff comes out. 141 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:56,400 Really? 142 00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:59,900 Ohh, right, you're supposed to pull and mager...venate your weiner really fast. 143 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:00,500 Oh okay. 144 00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:04,100 Okay, retard, you really don't know how to make semen come out?! 145 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:04,700 No-o! 146 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,100 Follow me to the bathroom. 147 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,300 Aw, it's okay kid. It's just done in a jiffy 148 00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:13,100 Now, go sit on the toilet and pull and tug on your weiner 149 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,100 until white stuff comes out, and then put it in this cup. 150 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,000 My weiner?? 151 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:18,700 Yes, retard. Semen comes from your weiner. Now do it! 152 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,000 Well Butters?! 153 00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:28,000 Ah I'm pullin' on my weiner, but nothin's happening. 154 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:29,200 Well pull harder! 155 00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:35,500 It's not workin' 156 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:36,800 Try doin' it faster 157 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,100 Naw, nothin' 158 00:06:42,150 --> 00:06:43,700 Butters, do you wanna go to jail for the rest of your life?! 159 00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:44,400 NOOooo! 160 00:06:44,450 --> 00:06:46,500 Then you'd better get that semen sample no matter how long it takes! 161 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:47,500 Okay!! 162 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,500 Cartman! Cartman! We just got a tip that a doll was found near Fosse's house! 163 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,700 Let's go! 164 00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:04,100 Huhuh, Okay Ms., Ms. Jones, heh, me and Doctor... Flick 165 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,000 here just need to... check your vagina. 166 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:07,900 That's gay. 167 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:08,700 Yeah, that's gay. 168 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,400 Kyle! 169 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:26,700 Co? 170 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:39,800 Co?? 171 00:07:40,350 --> 00:07:42,100 Vidím dva kluky uvnitř. 172 00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:45,000 Mají Sářinu panenku, ty pitomej Žide! 173 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,300 They've got the doll! 174 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,500 Okay, okay. Ready? Break the door down! 175 00:07:58,300 --> 00:07:59,500 Huh huh who is it?! 176 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,500 South Park Junior Detectives! We know you have Sarah Peterson's doll! 177 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:04,800 They're playing Detective. 178 00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:06,000 That's gay. 179 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,100 You're gay! 180 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,000 What do we do now? 181 00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:09,700 I don't know. 182 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:13,000 Well if they're not gonna give us back the doll, then we have no choice. 183 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:14,800 Let's go tell on them. 184 00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:17,400 Dude, we just can't tell on them. 185 00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:18,200 Why not? 186 00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:21,500 Because, dude, we're playing detectives! Detectives don't just go tell on people. 187 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:22,800 Detectives! 188 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,500 If you don't get out of here, we're gonna rip the doll's head off! 189 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:28,800 Yeah. 190 00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:32,400 We were playing gynecologists and now we're playing criminals 191 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:33,700 That's gay. 192 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:34,900 We're gay. 193 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,000 Jesus! They're gonna kill her! 194 00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:37,100 We've got to do something. 195 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,700 Time! Time is what we need, but time is something we ain't got! 196 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,000 Attention! You in the house! 197 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:44,500 This is Agent Tucker with the FBI! We have you surrounded. Sort of. 198 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,500 Hey, you buttholes can't play FBI here! 199 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,100 Yeah! This was our hot lead! 200 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:52,900 And you did a great job leading us here. Now you just stay out of our way! 201 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,400 The gig is up, Fosse! Bring out the doll! Or we'll tell on you! 202 00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:58,300 We're gonna charge the front door and go get it. 203 00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,400 No you're not. 204 00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,400 Damnit man, this is not the time for negotiations! 205 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,400 There's a little doll in there about to have her head twisted off! 206 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,500 Time out, kid! We say you can't charge the front door, 207 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,000 and you have to obey what the FBI says! That's the rules! 208 00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:10,100 Just because your parents can afford better toys than ours 209 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,300 doesn't make you better than us! 210 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,300 Yes it does so! 211 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,700 What do we do now? 212 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,100 We go get the doll ourselves. 213 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,900 But they said we can't charge the front door. 214 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:27,000 That's right. But they didn't say anything about going in the back. 215 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,000 Come on guys. You don't wanna hurt that doll. 216 00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:32,700 Oh crap, they're coming in the back! 217 00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:41,000 That's gay. 218 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,200 I got you, Fosse! 219 00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:44,300 No you didn't! 220 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:45,200 Did so! 221 00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:47,500 No, 'cause I got... special wizard armor on. 222 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,700 We're not playing Dungeons and Dragons, assface! 223 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,400 All right, that does it! Cover me! I'm going slo-mo! 224 00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,500 Oooh, they got me! 225 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:08,500 We're dead. 226 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:09,900 That's gay 227 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:12,600 We got it. 228 00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:20,800 Ms. Peterson, is your daughter home? 229 00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:23,000 My dollie! 230 00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:26,700 We got her back safe. We lost a lot of good men in the process. 231 00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:28,600 Well you boys are little heroes. 232 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,000 I'm going to call the police department and let them know 233 00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:33,200 what brave little detectives you are! 234 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:41,900 Hello there little crime stoppers, I'm Lieutenant Dawson with the Park County Police. 235 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,500 I heard you did a great job finding Sarah Peterson's doll. 236 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:46,900 We do what we can, sir. 237 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:51,600 W-hell, that's fantastic, kids. And for all your terrific sleuth-solving, 238 00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:55,000 I'm here by making you all Jenior Detectives. 239 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,500 That means you boys are now an official part of the department. 240 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:03,300 Kewl! 241 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,500 All right, so ready for your first assignment? 242 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,300 Sure. 243 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,600 Okay. There's a meth lab down at 567 Mala Vista. 244 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,500 The operators are probably armed to the hilt with illegal weapons. 245 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,800 I want you to get down there and see what you can find! 246 00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:18,500 Ah... a a a meth lab? 247 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,000 I don't want any problems. Just take them down by the books. 248 00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:23,800 Now get over there; the mayor's all over my ass on this one! 249 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,200 On, and deputies: you screw this up 250 00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:31,500 and I'll have you working graveyard shift behind a desk! Move it! 251 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,700 What is a meth lab, anyway? 252 00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:40,300 I don't know. Let's just hurry up. I wanna get home in time to watch Crime Drama. 253 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,400 Uh police. Open up.... 254 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,500 Oh crap, did you guys do your math homework? 255 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,000 Nah. Dude, I totally spaced it. 256 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,700 You die, pigs! 257 00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:05,000 You want to die, huh? 258 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,800 You won't take us alive! 259 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,500 So long, coppers! 260 00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:36,800 Damn. 261 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:42,000 One UPS vehicle valued at twenty-five thousand dollars, 262 00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:44,100 one civilian vehicle valued at sixteen thousand, 263 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:48,200 the second floor of the post office AND a coffee shop valued at sixteen thousand! 264 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,500 The mayor's gonna have my ass! 265 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,800 Uh, sir, we just kinda got blind-sided by the... 266 00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:53,900 You got careless! 267 00:12:53,950 --> 00:12:58,500 Now, I don't know how they do things down at that dog-and-pony show they call the Fourth Grade, 268 00:12:58,600 --> 00:12:59,600 but here we have rules! 269 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:03,300 Jesus, we don't have guys to question now, because you killed them all! 270 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:04,600 We're sorry. 271 00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,700 One more slip-up like that and I'll have your badges! 272 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,200 You hear me?! Now hit the showers! 273 00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:13,700 Well well well, if it isn't the supercops. 274 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,500 Hey Murphy, think they'll let me borrow their G.I. Joes? 275 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,000 Come on, you guys. Leave them alone. 276 00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:24,000 Relax, Hopkins! All fun and games, right? 277 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:28,600 Soho, tell us, rookies, you ah... find yourself a little bonus in that house?? 278 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:29,700 Uh bonus? 279 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,000 Come on! We all skim a little off the top. 280 00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:34,700 Oh. Or are you too good for that? 281 00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:38,700 So you think you're gonna waltz in here and clean up the system. Is that it? 282 00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,600 We just wanna be junior detectives. 283 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:44,500 Look, we all work hard! And we deserve more than the thirty-thousand a year we get paid! 284 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:48,500 So what if we take in a little on the side? -Yeah! Who the hell are you to change that?! 285 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,100 I said, back off Murphy! 286 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,400 Why don't you and your rookie friends make us 287 00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:54,900 That's right. Come on, bring it! Yeah, let's go! Come on, bring it! 288 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,500 What the hell is the problem here?? 289 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,700 No problem, sir. No problem at all. 290 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,000 Then hit the showers, all of you! 291 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,500 Dude, I don't wanna play Detective anymore. 292 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:10,700 Me neither. 293 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:11,700 It'll get better, guys. 294 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:12,700 Better how, dude? 295 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,800 Look, we said we wanted to form a club to protect and serve South Park. 296 00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:18,100 We put all this time to it, I mean... What do you guys wanna do, huh? 297 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,800 Go back to playing Car Mechanics? Or Laundromat Owners? 298 00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:22,300 We were happy playing Laundromat Owners. 299 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:26,000 I wasn't. We started playing Detective because we wanted our play time to mean something. 300 00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:27,800 Or have you forgotten why you joined the force, Kyle? 301 00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,200 Hey! Broflovski's a good cop! 302 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:32,200 You guys can go back to playing Laundromat Owners if you want, but... 303 00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:35,200 I'm not gonna give those kids playing the FBI a chance to laugh at us 304 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,800 See you guys at school tomorrow. 305 00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:47,900 Eric, where have you been? It's ten thirty. 306 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,900 We had to take down a meth lab on Mala Vista. 307 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,400 Well you should've called Mommy. 308 00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:53,900 Will you get off my back?! It's hard enough I gotta work the beat, 309 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,500 and now I gotta come home to your nagging?! 310 00:14:56,900 --> 00:15:00,300 Look look, I'm I'm sorry. It's just this case, and... the guys down at the station, 311 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,300 I... I'm tired, alright? I'm I'm tired. 312 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,200 Well, why don't you get ready for snoogums' night-night, 313 00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:07,000 and I'll bring you some toasty chocolate nummers? 314 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:09,000 Okay. 315 00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:15,700 Butters? 316 00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:16,700 Yes? 317 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,400 Are you still trying to give a semen sample? 318 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,300 Well I'm tryin', but nothin's comin' out. 319 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,700 Well, keep tryin', Butters. 320 00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:32,400 And so you can see, children, that the women's movement of the late fifties 321 00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:35,600 and the early sixties had a profound effect on feminism in America. 322 00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:40,300 Uh, boys! Would it trouble you terribly not to sleep in my class? 323 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,300 Uh wu we weren't sleeping, Mr. Garrison. 324 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,000 Oh well, then maybe you can tell me who was in charge of the feminist 325 00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:46,500 movement of the early sixties! 326 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,200 A bunch of fat old skanks on their periods? 327 00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,900 Right, but who was the fattest oldest skank on her period?! 328 00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:57,800 That's what I thought! Now pay attention! 329 00:15:57,900 --> 00:16:01,200 Okay, children, now, the biggest skank of all was an old fatass by the name of... 330 00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:04,500 Marsh! Broflovski! McCormick! Cartman! In my office! 331 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:11,600 Looks like that meth lab you took down was the tip of the iceberg. 332 00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:15,500 They found a paper trail leading all the way to the biggest crime syndicate in Colorado. 333 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:20,450 The operators apparently run their business out of a sleazy strip joint down in Inglewood. 334 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,000 They're all cop killers, so I'm sending you in undercover. 335 00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:27,200 Uh, sir, d'I have a lot of homework to do tonight and I was... 336 00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:30,300 What?! Now you listen to me! I'm givin' you one last chance! 337 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,700 You're good cops, but you let your emotions get in the way! 338 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:38,100 And your little "shoot first ask questions later" technique has no place in this century! 339 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,900 Now you get down to that strip joint and you do it by the books, you got it?! 340 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,500 The mayor is on my ass and blablablah! 341 00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:52,200 So, what did you boys have to say to the lieutenant? 342 00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:54,300 Nothing, he just told us a bunch of stuff. 343 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:58,100 Maybe you decided you needed to tell him about our... bonus money. 344 00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:58,900 No. 345 00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:01,900 They're lying. 346 00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,500 They're dead! 347 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,300 Dude, if my mom knew I was in here, I would be in super big trouble. 348 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,100 Would you like a dance? 349 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:25,400 No thanks. 350 00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,800 Dance? Anyone like a dance? 351 00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:30,300 Well all right, guests, put your hands together. Be sure to tip the dancers. 352 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,900 And now, come on, let's here it for Candy! 353 00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:35,500 Whoa whoa, what the hell are you kids doin' in here? 354 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,600 This isn't an appropriate place for children 355 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:41,200 Dance? Anyone like a dance? 356 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,200 Uh, it's okay. We know the owner. 357 00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:45,100 Oh, really? Let's go see. 358 00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:48,600 All right, so we'll have to start havin' the McCormicks make our meth again and... 359 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,600 Hey Gino, these kids say they know you. 360 00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:52,900 What? Ha-I don't know no kids. 361 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,200 I didn't think so. All right, you kids... 362 00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:56,100 Hey wait a minute. 363 00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:00,100 These kids might be just what we need to get our drugs past the security at DIA. 364 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,900 How would you like to join our family? 365 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:06,200 Yo Gino, I know I've seen these kids before, man. These kids are 5-0! 366 00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:07,000 What? 367 00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:08,800 These kids are cops, man! 368 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,000 Kenny, it doesn't go "Pakew! Pakew!", it goes "BANG BANG BANG!!" 369 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,600 God damnit! Those junior detectives and their heroicly reckless ways! 370 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,300 Murphy! Jenkins! Hopkins! Get in there! 371 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,200 Dance??? Anybody like a dance??? 372 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:51,800 Freeze! South Park detectives! Great job, boys. You found the meth boss! 373 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:56,600 Detective Murphy! Jenkins! Uh what the hell are you doing? We had a deal. 374 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,000 A deal? 375 00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:00,800 That's right. We're partners in the drug business. 376 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,200 Everything was fine until these "supercops" joined the force. 377 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,900 Now we've gotta kill you all. 378 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:07,800 Boys! Down! 379 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,700 Huh alright guys, put your hands together, a lot of shootin' and killin' goin' on, 380 00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:19,500 but be sure to tip your waitress let's hear it for Rebecca. 381 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,100 Christ! Those junior detectives have no regard for the law! 382 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,200 Get me a hard line to the phone! And I want choppers on the roof! 383 00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:31,100 Who the hell are you?? 384 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,400 Agent Fields, FBI! 385 00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:35,400 Hey, I'm in charge of this investigation. 386 00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:37,000 Not anymore, you're not. 387 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,500 But that's not fair! 388 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,500 Is so! Is so! 389 00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:52,400 Sorry, Detective Hopkins. We can't let anybody know about our partnership. 390 00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:55,100 That's right. We split it all, fifty-fifty! 391 00:19:55,300 --> 00:20:01,500 That's right. I think we'll take a hundred percent now. 392 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,500 Huhuh yeah. Sorry, Gino, but in business like this, 393 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,300 sometimes partnerships need to end. 394 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:11,400 That's right. Sometimes partnerships need to end. 395 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:16,300 Well, supercops, looks like I'll be taking in all the money now. 396 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:21,700 I'm in business alone. And that means that the only person I can't trust... 397 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,200 ...is myself. 398 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,700 Looks like Murphy and Jenkins got what they deserved. 399 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:35,700 If it weren't for you boys, we would have never cleaned up the department 400 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:40,500 All right, detectives, let's get one thing straight! I do not agree with your methods! 401 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:46,400 You're uncontrolled, and you're negligent! But by God you get the job done. Congratulations! 402 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:47,800 Thanks. 403 00:20:47,900 --> 00:20:52,300 I'm probably going to regret this, but, well, I'm promoting you to full detectives. 404 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,500 There'll be lots of action, and that big paycheck you've always wanted. 405 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,500 I think I have a better idea. 406 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,200 Hello, sir. Welcome to the Broflovski Laundromat. 407 00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:05,800 Yes, I have a suit that needs to be dry-cleaned. And pressed, please. 408 00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:06,800 Certainly. 409 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,800 Here you are, Mister McCormick. Your laundry is all done and folded. 410 00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:12,600 That will be nine ninety five. On your American Express. 411 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:16,200 Fellas! Hehey fellas! I got it! Ah I got my semen sample! 412 00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:17,000 You did? 413 00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:20,400 Yeah. I was up there poundin' my weiner for two days straight, aaand finally, 414 00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:23,700 I thought about Stan's Mom's boobs, and this little timy spooge of... 415 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:24,800 this white stuff came out. 416 00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:26,500 That's great, Butters, but we're not playing Detective anymore. 417 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:27,700 We're playing laundromat owners. 418 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,500 Would you like those pants cleaned for four ninety five?