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M'kay, kids, can I have it quiet, please? M'kay?
2
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M'kay, quiet now, the assembly's about to start, m'kay.
3
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M'kay, quiet ple-m k-m'kay?
4
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M'kay. Uh, now kids, we have a really fun motivational group today
5
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...who are gonna talk to you about the dangers of smoking, hm'kay?
6
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So please give a very big South Park Cows welcome to,
7
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"Butt Out!"
8
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Butt out! Yeah yeah! Kids, that cigarette butt is gross!
9
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Butt out! Uh huh! Smokin's got to go!
10
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Oh no...
11
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Yeah! All right! Woohoo!!
12
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Hey students, how are we all feelin' today? Woooo!
13
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Hey, did you guys know that each year over six hundred thousand people a year die from smoking? A year!
14
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Six hundred thousand?? Are you sure you're not just blowing smoke?
15
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Blow smoke? Us? No way!
16
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Because we don't need to smoke and neither do you, right kids? Butt out! Break it down!
17
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Butt out! Yeah yeah! It's cool to say no!
18
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Butt out! Uh huh! Smokin's got to go!
19
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Smoking, no. No smoking.
20
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Freestyle!
21
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Vernon!
22
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Don't smoke! Don't ever smoke!
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Kyle!
24
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B to the U to the T to the T to the O to the U to the T to the...
25
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-Dude, this is unbearable.
-I'm going to kill myself
26
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Randy!
27
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Smoke you know has got to go. You go, you got to know to say the "no" to the smoke, you go go.. ... you gotta get it!
28
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Pam!
29
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Don't smoke.
30
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You guys, Kenny's eating his own hands.
31
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Hey! What's the big deal? I like smoking, and it makes me cool!
32
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Ohoh, really?? Do you think lung cancer is cool, too??
33
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What about emphysema?? Is that cool??
34
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And what about abortion, and AIDS?
35
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Pfft! That's none's the cool.
36
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Word.
37
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Yeah. So butt out!
38
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Butt out! Yeah yeah! Give that cigarette butt a throw!
39
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Huh, Jesus Christ!
40
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Butt out! Uh huh! Smokin's got to go!
41
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Remember, kids, if you smoke, you could grow up to be a failure.
42
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Worse yet, you could grow up to be dead.
43
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So don't believe what those evil tobacco companies tell you!
44
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Yeah, because if you don't smoke, you can grow up to be-
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Just Like Us.
46
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Give me a hit. Give me another one, give me another one.
47
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Aw dude, this is really hard.
48
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,706
Oh shit, here comes Mr. Mackey.
49
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Throw 'em away!
50
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Dudes, here he comes. Guys, stop coughing.
51
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Boys, what are you doing back here?
52
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I asked you a question: What are you doing back here, 'k?!
53
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Nothing.
54
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What??
55
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Nothin' Na- Due-nothing.
56
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D'awww sick!
57
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Gross dude!
58
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Well hey, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you boys have been smoking!
59
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,913
No... No, Mr. Mackey... We don't have any cigarettes.
60
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Well you'd better not! Because let me tell you some'n' about smokin'!
61
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Uh, smokin's bad, m'kay.
62
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And uh, if you start smokin' at an early age, m'kay, ih it's gonna be bad.
63
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M'kay, because uh, smoking can lead to all kinds of health problems like cancer.
64
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M'kay, and let me tell you something about cancer, m'kay. Cancer's bad.
65
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M'kay, and uh, eh, what? What the?
66
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Holy shit! M'kay?!
67
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Oh! Jethuth Chritht!
68
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...Woops.
69
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Well, you boys have certainly done it this time!
70
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We're sorry.
71
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Not as sorry as you're going to be when your parents get here! Ah, here they come now.
72
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Oh God...
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Come on in.
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Stanley, what did you do this time?!
75
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You'd better brace yourself, parents. The boys were caught... smoking!
76
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Smoking?
77
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No, it can't be! My son is not a filthy smoker!
78
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Mom... Dad, it was just a-
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I don't have a son!
80
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Eric, you've done a lot of horrible things in your life, but smoking? You're grounded for three weeks!
81
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Three weeks?! Are you fucking kidding me?
82
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Haven't you boys heard anything about how harmful smoking is to you and those around you?
83
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Of course they haven't, because the tobacco companies have gotten to them first.
84
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This is really their fault.
85
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Yeah. This is really their fault.
86
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No matter how much money the anti-smoking groups spend,
87
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...the tobacco companies are there to fill our childrens' heads with lies and propaganda that make them wanna smoke.
88
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Yeah, huh? Ih, it's like the tobacco companies have control of my mind-
89
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No. Must. Fight it. Tobacco companies... making me want to smoke. Ah!
90
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Oh my goodness, I had no idea. Are you okay, sweetie?
91
00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:02,613
Well, those God-damned tobacco companies aren't gonna have control over MY kid!
92
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I say we bring them down!
93
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We need the help of the greatest anti-smoking celebrity that ever lived.
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Rob Reiner.
95
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Who's Rob Reiner?
96
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I don't understand it. I pushed a law for higher taxes on cigarettes,
97
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I lobbied to get images of cigarettes removed from movies and art,
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I forced smokers out of bars and parks,
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...but still I get letters from parents saying their kids are doin' it.
100
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Apparently, people still don't understand hwo bad smoking people is for them.
101
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,815
Don't they know how dangerous it is to their health?
102
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,485
Don't they know the hazard of second-hand smoke?
103
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According to the letter, sir, the town has a tobacco company quite near them.
104
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Yeah, that must be it.
105
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The tobacco companies, with their millions of dollars and their slick desks and fancy buildings,
106
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they're the ones making music wanna smoke!
107
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They're the ones hurting our nation's health!
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I will not stand by and see the children of America corrupted by those bastards!
109
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This is war!!
110
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:13,809
You guys, maybe we should come clean right now and tell everyone that it wasn't the tobacco companies that made us want to smoke.
111
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Hwat??
112
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,521
Why? It's perfect. If everyone's blaming the tobacco companies, then nobody's blaming us.
113
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Yeah, what's the problem?
114
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:23,402
Well it's just that, eh, this seems like another one of those times when things are gonna get way out of hands, you know?
115
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It's been happening a lot lately. How about this time we just put a stop to it right now?
116
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Dumbass, you don't wanna be grounded for three weeks, do you?
117
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Yeah, don't worry dude. Things aren't gonna get out of hand.
118
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Here he comes!
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Damnit.
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Butter! Butter!
121
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What'd he say?
122
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Butter!!
123
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Hello South Park!!
124
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It is so nice to see an entire town come together to fight for good health!
125
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And I'm gonna help ya!
126
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These poor innocent children have been seduced into smoking tobacco.
127
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So I say, "We fight fire with fire!"
128
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We're gonna use these children to bring the tobacco companies down!
129
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Oh no...
130
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All right kids, here's what we're gonna do.
131
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We're gonna sneak you into the tobacco company by saying you kids want a tour for a school paper.
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Once you're nside, mm, mm, I'm gonna take photos
133
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...and then we'll publish them, saying that the tobacco company invited you over
134
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...to seduce you into smoking. Got it?
135
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,507
Got it!
136
00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,301
But... isn't that, kind of, lying?
137
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:14,096
Mm. Uh, we're just leveling out the playing field.
138
00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:17,182
The tobacco companies lie to you about the dangers of smoking.
139
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If we're gonna take them down, we've gotta lie right back!
140
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Oh my God!
141
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Excuse me!
142
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Yes?
143
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,499
Would you mind putting that death stick out?!
144
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,002
But, uh, this is a bar.
145
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Isn't smoking illegal in bars here?
146
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Not in Colorado
147
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:51,717
Oh my God! What kind of backward hick state is this?!
148
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Look man, I work fourteen hours a day at the saw mill. I just got off work and I need to relax.
149
00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,601
Well when I relax I just go to my vacation house in Hawaii!
150
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,895
I ain't got a vacation house in Hawaii!
151
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:06,190
Yuh your vacation house in Mexico, then, whatever it is!
152
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:11,403
Look, you are putting my life and these boys' lives in danger by smoking that in here!
153
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:16,116
And I'm not gonna tolerate it! I will end smoking in bars in Colorado!
154
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There will be no more smoking here!
155
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Isn't he awesome, you guys?
156
00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:21,788
What??
157
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,583
Dude, he just goes around imposing his will on people. He's my idol.
158
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:34,301
All right boys, just do what I tell ya and we'll be able to sue this tobacco company for two billion dollars!
159
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As soon as we get into the mani facility, I'll snap the photo of you kids,
160
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...and we can all run out! Think you can handle it?
161
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:41,600
Handle it?
162
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,520
For two billion dollars I'd handle my grandpa's balls, sir.
163
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,981
Heh, great. Okay, now watch yourselves, kids.
164
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:52,110
These tobacco company people will do anything to get you hooked on smoking.
165
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,613
They are liars and they are frauds!
166
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:56,782
Can I help you?
167
00:10:57,616 --> 00:11:02,120
Yes. My name is Rita Poon. I called about my boys wanting a tour.
168
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:07,084
Ah, yes, Mrs. Poon. My name's Kevin Harris and I'm the vice president of Big Tobacco.
169
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,086
Oh. Hello, Mr. Harris.
170
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,712
Well, come on in.
171
00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:13,090
How about a little history first?
172
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:16,385
Native Americans were the first to cultivate the tobacco plant.
173
00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:19,680
They smoked it in pipes for medicinal and ceremonial purposes.
174
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,015
Not if I were around, they wouldn't have.
175
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,517
Escuse me?
176
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:24,685
Oh, nothing! Please continue.
177
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:28,981
The first successful commercial crop of tobacco was cultivated in Virginia in 1612.
178
00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:31,900
Within seven years it was one of the country's largest exports.
179
00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:34,111
So, tobacco helped to build America.
180
00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:34,987
That's right.
181
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:35,988
Over the next few centuries the tobacco business was so great that many slaves were brought from Africa to help work the fields.
182
00:11:40,993 --> 00:11:45,205
Which means, if it weren't for tobacco, many of our black friends wouldn't be here today.
183
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:48,500
And so for centuries, tobacco production flourished.
184
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:53,005
Nobody was even aware of any dangers back then, until, in 1965,
185
00:11:53,005 --> 00:11:57,718
...when Congress passed an act forcing all tobacco companies to put the Surgeon General's warning on their packages.
186
00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,512
So now, everyone knows the dangers of smoking.
187
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:05,017
And some people still choose to do it, and we believe that's what being an American is all about.
188
00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:06,894
That sound perfectly reasonable.
189
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:08,604
And here's our factory at work.
190
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:14,109
With a hidey lidey lidey and a hidey lidey lay
191
00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:16,987
We work and we make cigarettes all hidey lidey day
192
00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:19,781
So folks can get a breaky from their stressful lidey lives
193
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,618
And relaxy with the cigarettes we make all day and night
194
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:26,205
I like to have a cigarehette every now and then
195
00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:28,999
It makes me fee-l calmer when the day is at an end.
196
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,793
And if it gives me cancer when I'm eighty I don't care
197
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:34,588
Who the hell wants to be ninety anyway?
198
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:37,382
So with a hidey lidey lidey and a hidey lidey lay
199
00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:40,302
We work and we make cigarettes all hidey lidey day
200
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:43,096
So folks can get a breaky from their stressful lidey lives
201
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:46,016
And relaxy with the cigarettes we make all day and night
202
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,894
Well, I guess that's the end of our tour.
203
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:51,396
Oh, here boys. Let me get your picture.
204
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:56,818
Got it! Ha! You bastards are going down now!
205
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:57,486
What??
206
00:12:57,486 --> 00:13:01,907
I'm not Rita Poon! I'm Rob Reiner!
And you've just been Reinered!
207
00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:04,117
Come on boys, let's make our escape!
208
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,912
Don't you try and stop us!
209
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:12,709
Oh my God!
210
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,213
Hoh boy, that was great, kids.
211
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,799
Those people at the tobacco company all seem really nice.
212
00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:21,718
Hah, you see that? They got into your head.
213
00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:26,682
Now you kids can meet some good, decent people, the folks who work to get smoking banned!
214
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:46,618
This is how we get rid of smokers. We go state to state and do things like, use bogus studies and make extensive commercials to get the public on our side and force cigarette smokers to stop!
215
00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:52,916
It's like, it's like, smoking brings a lot of people just a little bit of joy and, and you get to take that away from them.
216
00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:54,585
You are so awesome.
217
00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:57,421
Here you go Bob. This is Mr. Baffrey.
218
00:13:57,421 --> 00:13:59,298
He does all our Photoshop work.
219
00:13:59,298 --> 00:14:03,302
Now, all we have to do is Photoshop cigarettes into your hands!
220
00:14:03,302 --> 00:14:07,890
And bingo! When this hits the papers the tobacco company is screwed!
221
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,518
But dude, you're making stuff up.
222
00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:14,104
You kids need to understand something, okay?
223
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:19,818
Sometimes lying is okay. Like, when you know what's good for people more than they do.
224
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:24,114
Oh my God, that is what I've always said. I love this guy!
225
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:27,910
Mr. Reiner, your bill to have smoking outlawed at bars here didn't pass.
226
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:31,997
What?! God-damnit, what the hell is wrong with people in this state?!
227
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:36,210
Apparently, several people here still believe there's no proof second-hand smoke can kill you.
228
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:40,005
Well they want proof?! All right, we'll give them proof!
229
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:44,510
Boys, I need one of you to act in a commercial for us! We'll shoot it tomorrow!
230
00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:46,011
Wow, a commercial?
231
00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:49,181
And you boys decide which one of you will be best for the part.
232
00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:54,520
All right people, we've gotta get moving on the bill to ban smoking in Potsdam! Let's go!
233
00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:56,480
God, he's just the best!
234
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,691
Mr. Reiner, can I get you a muffin? O-or a cold drink, perhaps?
235
00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:02,903
Guys, I think we shold bail out of this right now!
236
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:03,695
Huh?
237
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:07,199
This is just startin' to look like another one of those times where it, it's gonna end up with the whole town turning out,
238
00:15:07,199 --> 00:15:10,494
it's a big showdown happening, and us havin' to talk about what we learned,
239
00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:13,413
...and I say we just stop right now, and go play cards or something.
240
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,915
(Well yep, that's what I think.)
241
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:15,916
Yeah, maybe you're right.
242
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:20,212
So, heh gentlemen, looks like only one of us gets to be in the commercial, huh?
243
00:15:20,212 --> 00:15:23,090
Who will it be...? Gentlemen, the game is on!
244
00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:25,509
Go ahead. We don't wanna be in their stupid commercial.
245
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,095
Huh? Oh, I get it, Kyle.
246
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,513
That's your Serbian Jew double bluff.
247
00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:32,808
Make me think you don't care about being in the commercial so that maybe I won't either.
248
00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:34,393
Ooops. didn't work, did it, Kyle?
249
00:15:34,518 --> 00:15:36,311
No, we really want nothing more to do with these people.
250
00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:38,605
"Sure you don't, Kyle. Oh, and neither do I.
251
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,691
Oh, I know what you're gonna say next. You're gonna say,
252
00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:42,401
"How about none of us show up tomorrow to do it?"
253
00:15:42,401 --> 00:15:46,405
And then I'm supposed to agree so that tomorrow you can waltz in all by yourself and do the commercial.
254
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:50,617
That's Serbian Jew double bluff and it ain't gonna work on me ha ha ha.
255
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:54,204
Only one of us can be in the commecial, gentlemen. The game... is on.
256
00:16:07,718 --> 00:16:11,388
Sorry Kyle, but I'm afraid only one of us will be showing up to do the comemrcial tomorrow!
257
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:14,808
Thought you had me with your Serbian Jew double bluff, didn't you?!
258
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:17,019
Well let's see you try to open this door now.
259
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:20,480
What are you doing?
260
00:16:22,608 --> 00:16:25,110
Oh... Hello, Kyle.
261
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:28,697
Oh man. Wait, this isn't my house.
262
00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:31,116
Cartman, you go ahead and do the commercial tomorrow.
263
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:35,913
But I'm warning you, those anti-smoking people are liars and they're bullies who will stop at nothing to get what they want,
264
00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:37,497
...and that means they're dangerous.
265
00:16:44,505 --> 00:16:47,216
Nice try, Kyle! Let's see you try to get through the door now!
266
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:53,096
Okay Eric, this is going to be real simple.
267
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:56,683
All you gotta do is read the words on the TelePrompTer here.
268
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:57,809
Heh, ho-okay.
269
00:16:57,809 --> 00:17:00,020
Let's see how the tobacco companies deal with this.
270
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:04,608
All right, roll camera. Roll the TelePrompTer. And whenever you're ready, Eric.
271
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,818
Heh, okay, okay.
272
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:12,783
You know, some people say there's no proof that second-hand smoke kills.
273
00:17:12,783 --> 00:17:16,203
The tobacco companies say there's no proof that second-hand smoke kills.
274
00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:19,206
I've just been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.
275
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:21,583
I guess... I'm the proof.
276
00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:25,879
The next time you want to believe that second-hand smoke doesn't kill, think about me.
277
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:30,592
Because, by the time you see this commercial, I'll be... dead.
278
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:33,387
Dead??
279
00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:35,180
And cut! Great! We got it!
280
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,516
Wrap it up, people. That was fantastic.
281
00:17:37,516 --> 00:17:40,018
Uh what... what does that mean, "I'll be dead"?
282
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,688
Hey, uh what, what was that "dead" part?"
283
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:46,692
That was very good, Eric. Here, eat this cupcake.
284
00:17:47,818 --> 00:17:50,320
Uh, nnno, thanks. I'm not hungry.
285
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:55,492
But you are. Just eat this one cupcake. It has... sprinkles.
286
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,911
I'm not eating the cupcake.
287
00:17:58,704 --> 00:18:00,914
Eric, do you know what a hero is?
288
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:05,002
A hero is somebody who sacrifices himself for the good of others.
289
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:08,297
You can be a hero, Eric. All you have to do...
290
00:18:08,297 --> 00:18:10,215
...is eat the cupcake.
291
00:18:12,718 --> 00:18:15,220
Jesus Christ!
292
00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:27,107
What are you doing, Cartman?
293
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,108
They're going to kill me!
294
00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:30,485
Who's going to kill you?
295
00:18:30,903 --> 00:18:32,112
The anti-smoking people!
296
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,198
They had me say I died from second-hand smoke and...
297
00:18:34,198 --> 00:18:37,201
...now they want to sacrifice me to make it look real! They'll stop at nothing!!
298
00:18:37,201 --> 00:18:38,619
Well, get away from us then.
299
00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:40,287
Yeah dude, don't get us killed too.
300
00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:41,788
You guys have to help me!
301
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:42,706
No dude, get away!
302
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,499
Please, you guys, I don't know what to do!
303
00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:46,084
Stop it, Cartman! Go die on your own!
304
00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:47,503
If I go, you guys go!
305
00:18:47,503 --> 00:18:48,420
Daaaad!
306
00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:49,505
What?
307
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,799
Anti-smoking people are trying to kill Cartman and he won't stay away from us.
308
00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:57,095
Don't be ridiculous, boys. The anti-smoking people are kind, caring, and intelligent.
309
00:18:57,095 --> 00:19:00,307
Your heads have just been corrupted by the lies of the big tobacco companies.
310
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:04,603
Hey, maybe that's it, you guys. Maybe the tobacco company can help us!
311
00:19:04,603 --> 00:19:06,688
Help you, fatass! We weren't in the commercial, remember?
312
00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,315
Yeah! Go to the tobacco company yourself!
313
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:11,818
Well that's fine. I thought you guys were my friends, but I guess I was wrong!
314
00:19:12,486 --> 00:19:14,112
Yeah dude. You were totally wrong.
315
00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:14,780
(Uh huh.)
316
00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:18,283
You guys, I am seriously gettin' pissed off now! Now come on, we're goin' to the tobacco company.
317
00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:19,284
Oh all right.
318
00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:24,206
No! What we really should do is go to our parents right now and take responsibility for smoking ourselves.
319
00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:25,999
Even if it means getting grounded.
320
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:26,500
Why?
321
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:29,503
Because, if we go to the tobacco company, I know exactly what'll happen.
322
00:19:29,503 --> 00:19:33,715
They'll take us in, and then Rob Reiner will show up with all the townspeople, holding torches or something,
323
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:36,218
...and there'll be a big showdown until we talk about what we learned,
324
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:39,012
...and change everyone's minds - this is all following a formula!
325
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:42,516
So it's either deal with all that, or be grounded for three weeks.
326
00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:49,606
God-damnit!
327
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:51,316
Give us the child!
328
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,484
We will not!
329
00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:55,988
There, you see that?! The tobacco company won't give us the kid!
330
00:19:55,988 --> 00:20:00,492
And do you know why?! Because they know that if they give us that kid,
331
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:05,414
...then we'll kill him! And when our commercial goes on the air, it will lose them business!
332
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:07,791
Yeah! Yeah, that's right!
333
00:20:09,418 --> 00:20:10,502
Wait a minute, what?
334
00:20:11,003 --> 00:20:15,507
Yeah. When we kill the kid, people are gonna think it's because of second-hand smoke!
335
00:20:15,507 --> 00:20:18,886
And then these bastards are all gonna make money, and they know it!
336
00:20:19,011 --> 00:20:22,890
Wha- what the hell is wrong with you? That's not right.
337
00:20:23,015 --> 00:20:25,517
Oh, God-damnit, do I have to explain this again?!
338
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:31,190
Smoking is bad, people! So if we have to be a little extreme to stop it, it's okay!
339
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:35,194
No it isn't, you fat turd! Because, I've learned something today.
340
00:20:35,194 --> 00:20:36,195
You just hate- See, I knew it.
341
00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:38,197
Yup.
342
00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:42,201
You just hate smoking, so you use all your money and power to force others to think like you.
343
00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:44,286
And that's called fascism, you tubby asshole!
344
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:47,206
GOD-DAMNIT THERE'LL BE NO MORE SMOKING!!
345
00:20:47,206 --> 00:20:50,417
It wasn't the tobacco companies' fault that we smoked. It was our fault, us!
346
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:54,880
We should all take personal responsibility instead of letting fat fascists like him tell us what to do!
347
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,008
You're right, boys, m'kay?
348
00:20:58,008 --> 00:20:59,801
Yeah. Let smokers smoke.
349
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:00,886
Yeah!!
350
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:05,182
Hey Mr. Reiner, why don't you Butt Out!
351
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:10,395
I'm warning you: don't mess with anti-smoking groups!
352
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:12,606
I don't idolize you anymore, asshole!
353
00:21:15,901 --> 00:21:18,904
My goo! My precious goo!
354
00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:27,496
So Kyle, it wasn't the tobacco company that made you wanna smoke?
355
00:21:27,496 --> 00:21:28,580
No.
356
00:21:28,914 --> 00:21:30,916
Well then, you are grounded, mister!
357
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,084
You too, Eric.