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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
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♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
4
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♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
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♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
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♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
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♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
9
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♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
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Mr. President,
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the Russians are scrambling
bombers to attack Denmark.
12
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NATO wants to know
how we intend to stop them.
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Mr. President?
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Mr. President, you can't just
sit there with your stank face.
15
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I-I-I can't?
16
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The Troll Trace website
is set to go online
17
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in less than 15 minutes!
18
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The world is in complete chaos!
19
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Sir! Someone is leading
a coordinated cyber strike
20
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on the Troll Trace website.
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A cyber attack?
Well, that's good.
22
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Where's it coming from?
23
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Could be Russian.
We don't know.
24
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Whoever this troll is,
he's pretty fucking hardcore, sir.
25
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Okay, okay. Token.
Token, are you there?
26
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I'm here.
What's this about, Kyle?
27
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I can't tell you, dude.
I just need your help.
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Please, my life depends on it.
29
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Okay, okay, sure.
30
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All right, I need you to tell me
the worst thing I can say
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on a United Negro College Fund website
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to piss off black people.
33
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What?
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Token, please!
There's no time to explain!
35
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Beyoncé ain't nothing
but a Taylor Swift rip-off.
36
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That helps. Thank you!
37
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Tweek, Craig, I need you to get
on the GLAAD website and respond
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to all the horrible shit
I just said about gay people.
39
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Why'd you say horrible shit
about gay people?
40
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It's not important.
Just get on it and respond.
41
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Hang on.
42
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Stan, finally!
43
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Dude, I need everybody online, now!
44
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- For what?
- There's no time to explain.
45
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You've got to go out and get everybody.
46
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Tell them to get
on their computers. Go!
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Okay!
48
00:02:07,135 --> 00:02:08,595
Jimmy, what's the worst possible thing
49
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you can say on a website
for handicapped Syrian refugees?
50
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W-W-Waddle back to Syria, desert-tard?
51
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You boys better not be
on that computer!
52
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I'll make you pay for this!
53
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You locked your mother in the pantry?!
54
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I'll lock you in your rooms forever!
55
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♪ Never gonna give,
never gonna give ♪
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♪ Give you up ♪
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♪ Never gonna give,
never gonna give ♪
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♪ Give you up ♪
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♪ We've known each other ♪
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♪ For so long ♪
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Skank?
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Dildo?
63
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Skankhunt, can you hear me?
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Yes! Yes, where are you?
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The troll locked us in the control room
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with his Danish workers.
67
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How long before the website
goes online?
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Less than 10 minutes.
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Oh, God!
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Skankhunt, the Troll Trace servers
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monitor and catalog outrage
and hate on the Internet.
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There's a troll out there
trying to overload them
73
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:05,235
by generating tons of hate.
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00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:09,155
Skank, whoever's doing it
is doing it from your account.
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My account?
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Yeah, he's pissing off a lot of people.
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That's my boy!
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The core energy is completely stable
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and very easy to produce.
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It's the most massive
energy source of its size
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we've ever seen.
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We've done it, Elon.
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With this type of energy,
we can easily get mankind to Mars.
84
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This is amazing!
85
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And it's all thanks to you, little girl.
86
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How did you get to be so smart?
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I just have a boyfriend
who really supports me.
88
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Well, come on. I want to know
everything about you.
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Conniving snakes in the grass.
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- All of them.
- Yep.
91
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We have to tell someone
the truth, Butters.
92
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Are you sure about what's going
to happen on Mars?
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It's all been leading up to this.
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We've just been too blind
to see it before.
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Hey, you guys need anything?
Water? Soda?
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Maybe just a moment alone to talk.
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S-Sure. About what?
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The end of our species.
99
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All right, who else we got now?
100
00:04:06,254 --> 00:04:07,672
Kevin, are you there? Kenny?
101
00:04:07,797 --> 00:04:10,300
Yeah, I-I typed in everything
you told me to.
102
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Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmphm?
103
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Kyle! I'm gonna help, too!
104
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No, Ike! So far the only
thing you've done
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has been from Dad's account.
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I need you to stay clean.
107
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No trolling, okay?
108
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You can just help me
with what I should say.
109
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Hello? Can you hear me?
110
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This is Dildo Shwaggins.
111
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Who are you?
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I'm a colleague of your father's.
113
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We see what you're trying to do,
and we're gonna help.
114
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We trolled with your father.
Now we will troll with you.
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Uh, okay.
116
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Son, you need to know that your
father is very proud of you.
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He was the best at Trevor's Axiom.
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He believes you can be too.
119
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What the hell is Trevor's Axiom?
120
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Trevor's Axiom is a well-known
equation in online trolling.
121
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It's a way in which one person
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can create a massive reaction
on the Internet.
123
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Look, person "A" trolls person "B."
124
00:04:57,222 --> 00:04:58,598
But it's not about person "B."
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The troll is trying to push buttons
126
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to try and get a reaction
from hundreds,
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eventually creating person "C,"
128
00:05:03,645 --> 00:05:05,480
who's overreaction
and self-righteousness
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00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:08,191
will elicit a reaction from
persons "D" through "F,"
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who weren't trolls but can't
help rip on person "C."
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Their reactions lead to outraged
persons "G" through "N,"
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and it keeps going,
generating massive energy.
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It's like the fission reaction
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that leads to a fusion explosion,
135
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all bringing out the worst in humanity.
136
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Huh. That sort of sounds like
how I got elected.
137
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Precisely, Mr. President.
138
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And if this kind of overreaction
can be amplified
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through the Pentagon's servers...
140
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It could blow out the Internet
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before Troll Trace ever does
substantial damage.
142
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Gentlemen, get me
in contact with that troll.
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Listen, there isn't much time.
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This whole thing has to be stopped.
145
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We can't go to Mars.
146
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You keep saying that, but not why.
147
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Because Eric knows the future.
148
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What are you talking about?
149
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I've had visions of Mars
for the past few months.
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I'm a visionary.
151
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That's why I came here,
why I brought her.
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But the visions weren't
complete until recently.
153
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I know what happens on Mars.
154
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At first you'll be super-happy,
bouncing around the red sand.
155
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Cool!
156
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Everyone will be really nice.
157
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Hi!
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- Hi!
- Hi!
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You'll think the rover cars
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and roller coasters are really cool.
161
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But then you'll realize something...
162
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The other colonists
all seem to be women.
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Hmm. Let's see.
164
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And then you'll start to wonder,
165
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"Where are all the guys?"
166
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Look underground...
Look underground...
167
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Look underground...
Look underground...
168
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And soon you'll realize there's areas
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you didn't understand the purpose for.
170
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What is this place?
171
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And that's when you'll learn the truth.
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Men have been forced underground,
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deemed useless by women.
174
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They are mined for the only things
175
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women still need us for...
our semen and our jokes.
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What? No, no!
177
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:12,774
You're just as funny as us.
You don't need to do this!
178
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Noooo!
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No, no!
180
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Write jokes!
181
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No. No.
182
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And you'll be trapped
down there forever,
183
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in the cum and joke mines of Mars.
184
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That's... That's ridiculous.
185
00:07:32,293 --> 00:07:33,419
Why would women need us to do that?
186
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They're just as funny as men.
187
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If there's even a little part of you
188
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that doesn't really believe that,
189
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then think about what else
has to be going on.
190
00:07:47,475 --> 00:07:48,351
What?
191
00:07:48,476 --> 00:07:50,353
What?
192
00:07:50,478 --> 00:07:53,106
You have to help us stop this.
193
00:07:58,528 --> 00:07:59,946
Ah! God damn it!
194
00:08:00,071 --> 00:08:02,323
Skank! You still there?
195
00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:03,658
Yeah, I'm here.
196
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:04,951
The servers are starting to heat up,
197
00:08:05,076 --> 00:08:06,786
but the Danish say there are breakers
198
00:08:06,911 --> 00:08:08,538
that will never let them overload.
199
00:08:08,663 --> 00:08:11,707
You got to climb up the building
and shut off those breakers.
200
00:08:11,833 --> 00:08:14,544
I can't go anywhere.
I'm locked in the conference room.
201
00:08:14,669 --> 00:08:18,339
Oh, the key code
to the conference room is 9...
202
00:08:18,464 --> 00:08:20,216
Yeah?
203
00:08:20,341 --> 00:08:21,717
That's it. 9.
204
00:08:21,843 --> 00:08:23,636
Oh, for fuck's sake!
205
00:08:25,847 --> 00:08:27,598
Kyle!
206
00:08:27,723 --> 00:08:30,059
You better run if I get out of here!
207
00:08:30,184 --> 00:08:33,271
You better pray that I... Ah!
208
00:08:38,192 --> 00:08:39,569
Aha!
209
00:08:43,030 --> 00:08:45,032
Yaaah!
210
00:08:50,204 --> 00:08:53,583
Skank. Skankhunt, are you there yet?
211
00:08:53,708 --> 00:08:56,502
Yeah, I'm up with all the servers.
212
00:08:56,627 --> 00:08:58,463
The first breaker should be there.
213
00:08:58,588 --> 00:09:00,756
Tell him to look for a large red lever.
214
00:09:00,882 --> 00:09:01,757
Skank.
215
00:09:01,883 --> 00:09:05,178
Do you see a large red lever?
216
00:09:05,303 --> 00:09:06,721
Yeah, I got it!
217
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,306
Flip it off.
218
00:09:09,724 --> 00:09:12,435
That's good.
Keep going, Skankhunt.
219
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:16,689
You are all dumb-ass fuckwads.
220
00:09:16,814 --> 00:09:20,610
Lick my asshole, you Mexican bitch.
221
00:09:20,735 --> 00:09:22,403
- Ike!
- Aah!
222
00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:26,032
You dare lock me in the pantry
223
00:09:26,157 --> 00:09:28,743
so you can play on your computer?!
224
00:09:31,913 --> 00:09:32,788
Mommy!
225
00:09:32,914 --> 00:09:35,208
You're gonna pay for what you've done!
226
00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:36,334
Aah!
227
00:09:36,459 --> 00:09:37,960
Aaggh!
228
00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:40,796
- Kyle!
- Ike!
229
00:09:40,922 --> 00:09:41,923
Shit!
230
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,549
Mommy got out!
231
00:09:43,674 --> 00:09:45,468
You!
232
00:09:45,593 --> 00:09:48,721
You helped make your brother this way!
233
00:09:48,846 --> 00:09:51,265
Mom, there's been a mistake.
Ike isn't the school troll.
234
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:52,391
We're trying to help the...
235
00:09:52,517 --> 00:09:55,353
Shut up! Not another word
from either of you!
236
00:09:55,478 --> 00:09:59,649
You're both grounded
from the computer forever!
237
00:09:59,774 --> 00:10:01,776
Mom, please, you got to listen to me.
238
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:04,028
- Ike is innocent.
- Do you think I'm stupid?!
239
00:10:04,153 --> 00:10:06,781
No, Mom, you just
don't know everything.
240
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,617
You both march out of here right now!
241
00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:13,538
I'm sorry, Mom. I'm just trying
to protect my family.
242
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:24,549
Look, Elon, I'm just saying
before we go any further,
243
00:10:24,674 --> 00:10:26,342
you might want to hear this kid out.
244
00:10:26,467 --> 00:10:29,011
Go on. Tell Elon.
245
00:10:29,136 --> 00:10:32,181
Elon, I know you've dreamt
of mankind getting to Mars,
246
00:10:32,306 --> 00:10:35,476
but it's not going to be
very kind to man.
247
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:37,186
They're going to put us underground.
248
00:10:37,311 --> 00:10:38,271
For what?
249
00:10:38,396 --> 00:10:41,065
What's the one thing women don't have?
250
00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:42,984
Semen and a sense of humor.
251
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:44,318
That's two things.
252
00:10:44,443 --> 00:10:45,778
They're pretty related.
253
00:10:45,903 --> 00:10:48,030
Women don't need us for comedy.
254
00:10:48,155 --> 00:10:50,074
They can be just as funny as men.
255
00:10:50,199 --> 00:10:51,409
You should meet my girlfriend.
256
00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:53,703
She's really smart and really funny.
257
00:10:53,828 --> 00:10:55,329
Ohh, Elon.
258
00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:56,956
Oh, Christ, Elon.
259
00:10:57,081 --> 00:10:58,457
I used to think women were funny, too,
260
00:10:58,583 --> 00:10:59,667
but Eric talked me out of it.
261
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,669
It's something they do to our brains.
262
00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:04,213
They attract us like flies
to the spider web.
263
00:11:04,338 --> 00:11:05,381
And then they make you think
264
00:11:05,506 --> 00:11:07,383
they're really smart, really funny.
265
00:11:07,508 --> 00:11:09,552
But they're only really smart, Elon.
266
00:11:09,677 --> 00:11:13,139
They can live without us.
We can't live without them.
267
00:11:14,348 --> 00:11:15,975
If even 1/16th of you
268
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:18,894
believes women might not be
as funny as men, Elon...
269
00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:20,730
Elon?
270
00:11:22,690 --> 00:11:26,277
Why don't you kill yourself?
Trust me. No one will care.
271
00:11:26,402 --> 00:11:27,903
You fat hooker!
272
00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:29,238
You fat hooker.
273
00:11:29,363 --> 00:11:30,323
Ike, when this is all over,
274
00:11:30,448 --> 00:11:31,991
we're gonna need
to clean your mouth out.
275
00:11:32,116 --> 00:11:34,201
You clean your fucking mouth out.
276
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,912
Stan! You still haven't found Butters?
277
00:11:37,038 --> 00:11:39,373
Dude, I need his hatred
towards women right now.
278
00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:41,709
Dude, he's not around anywhere.
He must be out of town.
279
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:42,710
Shit!
280
00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:43,878
Hold on.
281
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,921
Kyle?
282
00:11:46,047 --> 00:11:48,090
Oh, hey, Mr. President.
283
00:11:48,215 --> 00:11:50,926
Kyle, you're the troll
who started all this?
284
00:11:51,052 --> 00:11:52,762
Uh, what do you mean?
285
00:11:52,887 --> 00:11:54,805
Don't worry.
Your secret's safe with me.
286
00:11:54,930 --> 00:11:56,932
So long as you keep doing
what you're doing.
287
00:11:57,058 --> 00:11:58,893
The American government is behind you.
288
00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:00,102
It is?
289
00:12:00,227 --> 00:12:01,604
Keep up the good work.
290
00:12:01,729 --> 00:12:03,356
We're gonna take that
big shitstorm of hate
291
00:12:03,481 --> 00:12:04,899
you're creating and amplify it.
292
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:06,233
We'll try to create enough energy
293
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,860
to blow up the whole fucking Internet.
294
00:12:07,985 --> 00:12:10,279
You're doing God's work, son.
Keep it up.
295
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:12,406
Thanks?
296
00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:15,117
♪ En junker red ved juletid ♪
297
00:12:15,242 --> 00:12:17,745
♪ Tjing tjang tjing nutillej ♪
298
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:20,581
♪ Omkring ham dalet sneen hvid ♪
299
00:12:20,706 --> 00:12:23,042
♪ Tjing tjang tjing nutillej ♪
300
00:12:23,167 --> 00:12:24,293
Oh, no, you don't.
301
00:12:24,418 --> 00:12:26,295
♪ Han stred sig frem
i regn og blaest ♪
302
00:12:26,420 --> 00:12:29,215
♪ Med et der segnede Hans hest ♪
303
00:12:36,013 --> 00:12:37,807
Laura, have my boys come to see Craig?
304
00:12:37,932 --> 00:12:39,100
They're hiding from me.
305
00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:44,105
What?
306
00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:45,398
What? What?
307
00:12:45,523 --> 00:12:49,235
The son of a bitch.
He's such a bastard!
308
00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:52,613
When you marry someone
and you think you know them...
309
00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:54,615
I don't know what you're talking about.
310
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,992
Troll Trace. It's up and running.
311
00:12:57,118 --> 00:12:59,453
It can tell you anybody's
Internet history.
312
00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:02,540
I couldn't resist.
I looked up my husband.
313
00:13:02,665 --> 00:13:06,168
The websites he's visited
are just disgusting!
314
00:13:06,293 --> 00:13:08,003
May I use this a moment?
315
00:13:08,129 --> 00:13:10,506
Sure. Type in any name.
316
00:13:10,631 --> 00:13:13,467
It'll show you everything
they've ever done online.
317
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:17,680
Be careful.
You might not like what you see.
318
00:13:32,903 --> 00:13:34,363
What the hell am I gonna do, Butters?
319
00:13:34,488 --> 00:13:36,699
I can't live without Heidi.
I know I'll be miserable.
320
00:13:36,824 --> 00:13:39,410
But I also can't live on the cum
and joke mines of Mars.
321
00:13:39,535 --> 00:13:41,454
Gee, I don't know
what to tell you, buddy.
322
00:13:41,579 --> 00:13:42,955
If I stay on Earth
where the Internet is,
323
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:44,832
Heidi finds out I know women
aren't actually funny.
324
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:47,001
And if I go to Mars,
I get milked like a goat.
325
00:13:48,210 --> 00:13:49,336
What?!
326
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,046
Butters, where the fuck are you?!
327
00:13:51,172 --> 00:13:53,048
Well, I'm at SpaceX.
Where are you?
328
00:13:53,174 --> 00:13:54,717
SpaceX? Why?
329
00:13:54,842 --> 00:13:56,802
Well, we sort of created
this ginormic energy source,
330
00:13:56,927 --> 00:13:58,846
but now we're trying
to figure out what to do with it.
331
00:14:00,181 --> 00:14:02,892
Like how ginormic of an energy source?
332
00:14:03,017 --> 00:14:05,186
Like enough to get humanity to Mars.
333
00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:06,395
Is that Kyle?
334
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:07,521
Kyle, do you mind?
335
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,482
I'm having really big
girl problems right now.
336
00:14:09,607 --> 00:14:12,651
Cartman, I think we might
be able to help each other.
337
00:14:12,777 --> 00:14:14,779
Skank, there's no time!
338
00:14:14,904 --> 00:14:16,489
Have you found the last breaker?
339
00:14:16,614 --> 00:14:17,740
I think so.
340
00:14:17,865 --> 00:14:19,909
I-I'm up on some kind of bridgeway.
341
00:14:20,034 --> 00:14:21,702
The last breaker should be there.
342
00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:23,078
Headed to it now.
343
00:14:25,790 --> 00:14:28,250
I'm 10 steps ahead of you.
344
00:14:28,375 --> 00:14:30,961
What's the matter, Skankhunt?
345
00:14:31,086 --> 00:14:33,923
You just can't stand
to be outdone, huh?
346
00:14:36,383 --> 00:14:39,094
Get out of my way.
What you're doing is wrong!
347
00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:42,097
What I'm doing is wrong?
348
00:14:42,223 --> 00:14:44,767
How is getting millions
of people to kill themselves
349
00:14:44,892 --> 00:14:46,769
different from getting one person to?
350
00:14:46,894 --> 00:14:49,688
It's completely heartless and malicious.
351
00:14:49,814 --> 00:14:52,483
You can honestly stand there,
as a troll,
352
00:14:52,608 --> 00:14:55,402
and tell me what I'm
doing isn't hilarious?
353
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,112
No. It's not.
354
00:14:57,238 --> 00:14:58,197
Hacking the world to show
355
00:14:58,322 --> 00:14:59,782
that most people act differently online
356
00:14:59,907 --> 00:15:01,742
isn't even technically satirical.
357
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:03,244
How is it not satirical?
358
00:15:07,164 --> 00:15:08,541
There's nothing here.
359
00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:12,044
Maybe Kyle was telling the truth.
360
00:15:12,169 --> 00:15:13,128
Oh, Laura!
361
00:15:13,254 --> 00:15:15,464
I think my boys were
being honest with me.
362
00:15:15,589 --> 00:15:16,549
About what?
363
00:15:16,674 --> 00:15:19,468
I accused Ike of... of...
I can't really say.
364
00:15:19,593 --> 00:15:21,428
But this thing says he's clean.
365
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:24,765
I got to find my boys, Laura.
Thank you so much.
366
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:27,810
It's not our kids
we have to worry about.
367
00:15:27,935 --> 00:15:31,021
My husband was on three
married-but-dating websites.
368
00:15:31,146 --> 00:15:34,275
He looked at porn
4,000 times in one month!
369
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,902
Aren't you curious
what your husband does? Huh?
370
00:15:37,027 --> 00:15:39,530
Sure he doesn't have any girlfriends?
371
00:15:42,741 --> 00:15:46,161
No, I-I have to respect
Gerald's privacy.
372
00:15:46,287 --> 00:15:48,497
Sure, yeah. Respect.
373
00:15:48,622 --> 00:15:49,832
Nice of you to give him that.
374
00:15:49,957 --> 00:15:50,833
Come on.
375
00:15:50,958 --> 00:15:52,877
You really think you
can resist the urge
376
00:15:53,002 --> 00:15:56,714
to type in his name just
for a quick little look?
377
00:16:00,384 --> 00:16:02,303
Aaaaah!
378
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:04,013
There's nothing more we can do.
379
00:16:04,138 --> 00:16:05,514
Nearly everyone is online,
380
00:16:05,639 --> 00:16:07,516
and we've diverted
all the power we can.
381
00:16:07,641 --> 00:16:09,685
Mr. President,
Troll Trace has been online
382
00:16:09,810 --> 00:16:10,936
for almost 15 minutes now.
383
00:16:11,061 --> 00:16:12,021
It's too late.
384
00:16:12,146 --> 00:16:13,689
We need to get you
down to the bunker.
385
00:16:13,814 --> 00:16:16,025
Oh, I've got a bunker?
Well, that's good.
386
00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:19,737
Mr. President, we have
an urgent call from Kyle.
387
00:16:19,862 --> 00:16:21,864
Sorry, Kyle.
Looks like it's not gonna work.
388
00:16:21,989 --> 00:16:24,241
Mr. Garrison, I might have
just found a lot more energy.
389
00:16:24,366 --> 00:16:26,660
Is there any way the Pentagon
can connect to SpaceX?
390
00:16:26,785 --> 00:16:29,038
SpaceX? What the fuck is that?
391
00:16:29,163 --> 00:16:31,040
You know, the company trying
to find new forms of energy,
392
00:16:31,165 --> 00:16:32,666
create jobs, and get mankind to Mars.
393
00:16:32,791 --> 00:16:34,960
Okay, that's dumb, but go on.
394
00:16:36,837 --> 00:16:37,838
Okay, okay, look.
395
00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:40,382
What you're doing is just trying
to prove that everyone
396
00:16:40,507 --> 00:16:43,052
is either a bad person
or a snoop, right?
397
00:16:43,177 --> 00:16:44,553
So, how is that funny?
398
00:16:44,678 --> 00:16:46,180
That's not what I'm doing.
399
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:47,973
I'm showing everyone
that all this stuff
400
00:16:48,098 --> 00:16:50,267
they freak out over
doesn't even matter.
401
00:16:50,392 --> 00:16:52,728
No, but see, that's just nihilism.
402
00:16:52,853 --> 00:16:54,063
Oh, come on!
403
00:16:54,188 --> 00:16:55,064
That is!
404
00:16:55,189 --> 00:16:56,273
So... So, wait.
405
00:16:56,398 --> 00:16:58,859
If you do some big,
outrageous, offensive thing
406
00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:00,945
with a positive attitude,
you're a satirist,
407
00:17:01,070 --> 00:17:03,280
but if you're cynical about it,
then you're a nihilist?
408
00:17:03,405 --> 00:17:04,698
That's fucking ridiculous.
409
00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:10,245
You're trying to get people to go
to war and kill each other.
410
00:17:10,371 --> 00:17:14,333
So maybe this is like the new
postfunny era of satire.
411
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:20,923
Attention, all SpaceX employees.
412
00:17:21,048 --> 00:17:23,926
Please evacuate
the building immediately.
413
00:17:24,051 --> 00:17:26,929
We've just received
a bomb threat from NASA.
414
00:17:27,054 --> 00:17:28,931
This is not a drill.
415
00:17:29,056 --> 00:17:31,141
The NASA terrorists
are super-jelly of us.
416
00:17:31,266 --> 00:17:34,061
Please quietly and calmly
find the nearest exit
417
00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:36,188
and get the fuck out
as fast as you can.
418
00:17:36,313 --> 00:17:37,481
Ah!
419
00:17:37,606 --> 00:17:38,899
Oh, hey, babe.
W-What's up?
420
00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:40,109
There's a bomb threat?
421
00:17:40,234 --> 00:17:41,276
Oh, yeah, I was just, um...
422
00:17:41,402 --> 00:17:42,778
They told me on the stifernisy thing.
423
00:17:42,903 --> 00:17:43,779
It was spinning.
424
00:17:43,904 --> 00:17:45,030
Come on.
We better get out.
425
00:17:45,155 --> 00:17:47,282
Babe, is everything okay?
426
00:17:47,408 --> 00:17:48,993
You seem distant lately.
427
00:17:49,118 --> 00:17:51,996
Distant? Really?
Oh, my God. I'm... I'm sorry.
428
00:17:52,121 --> 00:17:53,789
Did I do something wrong?
429
00:17:53,914 --> 00:17:56,458
No. No, Heidi.
Why would you think that?
430
00:17:56,583 --> 00:17:59,461
You don't really talk to me
the same way you used to.
431
00:17:59,586 --> 00:18:01,463
Oh, God. I'm sounding needy, huh?
432
00:18:01,588 --> 00:18:03,716
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Yeah, go on.
433
00:18:03,841 --> 00:18:07,511
Eric, I just... I hope you're
always honest with me,
434
00:18:07,636 --> 00:18:09,722
even if you think it might
hurt my feelings.
435
00:18:09,847 --> 00:18:11,473
Uh-huh. Yeah, cool.
436
00:18:11,598 --> 00:18:14,268
Heidi, I'll always do
what's best for both of us.
437
00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:16,311
Now, come on.
We got to get outside.
438
00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:26,822
I shouldn't do this.
439
00:18:26,947 --> 00:18:29,700
I can't argue with you anymore.
440
00:18:29,825 --> 00:18:31,326
I want to stand here and tell you
441
00:18:31,452 --> 00:18:34,163
that you and I are different,
but it's not true.
442
00:18:34,288 --> 00:18:37,374
All we've been doing is making excuses
443
00:18:37,499 --> 00:18:39,126
for being horrible people.
444
00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:44,548
I don't know if you tried to teach
me a lesson, but you have.
445
00:18:44,673 --> 00:18:47,092
I have to stand here and look at you,
446
00:18:47,217 --> 00:18:50,929
and all I see is a big,
fat reflection of myself.
447
00:18:51,055 --> 00:18:53,849
With only one minor difference.
448
00:18:53,974 --> 00:18:55,601
Oof!
449
00:18:55,726 --> 00:18:58,687
Noooo!
450
00:18:58,812 --> 00:19:01,231
Ha! Fuck you!
451
00:19:01,356 --> 00:19:04,735
What I do is fucking funny, bitch!
452
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,699
That's it! Your dad's got it!
453
00:19:10,824 --> 00:19:12,367
Give it everything you've got!
454
00:19:12,493 --> 00:19:13,869
Mr. President, do it!
455
00:19:13,994 --> 00:19:16,371
Reroute the Internet through SpaceX!
456
00:19:16,497 --> 00:19:17,831
Rerouting now!
457
00:19:48,862 --> 00:19:51,198
What the hell just happened?
458
00:20:04,878 --> 00:20:06,755
Well, looks like you're gonna have to
459
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,842
kind of start over, huh, Elon?
460
00:20:09,967 --> 00:20:12,719
Maybe you should just go back
to your little cars, huh?
461
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:13,762
Wow, babe.
462
00:20:13,887 --> 00:20:15,055
Looks like all our dreams
463
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:16,932
are kind of on hold for a while, huh?
464
00:20:17,057 --> 00:20:19,017
Yeah, well, some people's dreams
465
00:20:19,143 --> 00:20:20,769
are other people's nightmares.
466
00:20:20,894 --> 00:20:22,813
Well, what do you mean?
467
00:20:22,938 --> 00:20:24,439
It was a joke.
468
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:34,032
And so life goes on.
469
00:20:34,158 --> 00:20:38,453
The end of civilization didn't happen.
470
00:20:38,579 --> 00:20:42,541
A massive electric pulse
completely erased the Internet.
471
00:20:42,666 --> 00:20:45,169
We've been given a second chance.
472
00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:47,379
A mulligan.
473
00:20:48,922 --> 00:20:52,593
Anything we might be
ashamed of, gone forever.
474
00:20:56,346 --> 00:20:57,639
Maybe now boys and girls
475
00:20:57,764 --> 00:20:59,850
can learn to respect
each other again...
476
00:21:02,144 --> 00:21:04,855
...realize how careful
our online lives have to be.
477
00:21:08,609 --> 00:21:11,737
Because we've all seen
what happens when the Twitters,
478
00:21:11,862 --> 00:21:15,449
Facebooks, and trolls
decide our reality.
479
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:17,743
Now that we've been given
this second chance,
480
00:21:17,868 --> 00:21:20,829
it's up to all of us to see
what we do with it.
481
00:21:20,954 --> 00:21:24,291
And the first new e-mail
since the Internet was erased
482
00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:27,377
successfully went out
at 6:00 a.m. today.
483
00:21:27,502 --> 00:21:29,504
The honor went to a Mr. Dave Beckett
484
00:21:29,630 --> 00:21:31,423
of Boca Raton, Florida.
485
00:21:31,548 --> 00:21:34,343
Mr. Beckett, you had the honor
of being the first person
486
00:21:34,468 --> 00:21:36,094
to socialize on the new Internet.
487
00:21:36,220 --> 00:21:37,763
Can you tell us what you did?
488
00:21:37,888 --> 00:21:40,557
Well, I sent an e-mail with a photo
489
00:21:40,682 --> 00:21:43,852
to my old friend Thomas Winger
up in Connecticut.
490
00:21:43,977 --> 00:21:46,939
And what did you say to Mr. Winger?
491
00:21:48,899 --> 00:21:50,984
I showed him my dick, called him a fag.