1
00:00:36,438 --> 00:00:38,674
The political world is watching,
Bannon.
2
00:00:38,707 --> 00:00:40,235
We need to make sure
the President-elect has
3
00:00:40,242 --> 00:00:41,710
a smooth transition.
4
00:00:41,743 --> 00:00:43,378
All indications are
that his transition
5
00:00:43,412 --> 00:00:44,813
is going to be fine.
6
00:00:44,847 --> 00:00:47,082
We're just doing
some finishing touches,
7
00:00:47,116 --> 00:00:48,684
but everything went well.
8
00:00:48,717 --> 00:00:50,119
You can see him now if you like.
9
00:00:50,152 --> 00:00:51,887
I'll go.
10
00:01:06,969 --> 00:01:10,038
Well, do I look presidential?
11
00:01:10,072 --> 00:01:12,741
Honestly, you look
20 years younger.
12
00:01:12,775 --> 00:01:14,943
They really worked on
my stank face.
13
00:01:14,977 --> 00:01:16,738
Look... Whenever I don't know
what people are talking about,
14
00:01:16,745 --> 00:01:20,149
I can just do this.
Wait, look... do this.
15
00:01:20,182 --> 00:01:21,984
This is...
This is my stank face.
16
00:01:22,017 --> 00:01:24,286
It's like I'm not listening
to you, see?
17
00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:26,722
They did a really good job
on my stank lips.
18
00:01:26,755 --> 00:01:29,792
It's an amazing transition.
19
00:01:29,825 --> 00:01:31,860
Now I feel ready
to take care of business
20
00:01:31,894 --> 00:01:33,662
and do what really matters.
21
00:01:33,695 --> 00:01:36,431
In just a minute. I'm gonna do
the UV rays a bit longer.
22
00:01:42,371 --> 00:01:44,106
Can I help you?
23
00:01:44,139 --> 00:01:46,201
Hello, I understand that you're
trying to get to Mars.
24
00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:47,409
This is my girlfriend, Heidi.
25
00:01:47,443 --> 00:01:49,311
She's really smart
and really funny.
26
00:01:49,344 --> 00:01:50,813
Okay.
27
00:01:50,846 --> 00:01:51,840
We've given up social media,
28
00:01:51,847 --> 00:01:52,841
and we'd like to be somewhere
29
00:01:52,848 --> 00:01:54,650
as far from the Internet
as possible.
30
00:01:54,683 --> 00:01:57,719
Is it true Mars would have
really shitty Wi-Fi?
31
00:01:57,753 --> 00:01:59,855
That'd be
an understatement, yes.
32
00:01:59,888 --> 00:02:00,956
Well, we'd like to go.
33
00:02:00,989 --> 00:02:02,117
We can't tolerate
this world anymore,
34
00:02:02,124 --> 00:02:03,351
and we'd like to talk to
whoever we can
35
00:02:03,358 --> 00:02:05,020
about getting to Mars
as soon as possible, please.
36
00:02:05,027 --> 00:02:07,763
Uh-huh. Take a number
and join the others.
37
00:02:07,796 --> 00:02:09,598
What others?
38
00:02:12,101 --> 00:02:13,735
♪ We are the...
39
00:02:13,769 --> 00:02:15,737
What the [bleep] dude?!
40
00:02:15,771 --> 00:02:17,773
A lot of people want
to leave the planet right now.
41
00:02:17,806 --> 00:02:19,775
Aw, God damn it.
Is that Cher?!
42
00:02:19,808 --> 00:02:24,513
♪ Do you believe
the world, oh ♪
43
00:02:27,116 --> 00:02:28,650
God damn it!
44
00:02:28,684 --> 00:02:31,053
How the [bleep] did this happen?
[ Knock on door ]
45
00:02:31,086 --> 00:02:34,823
Uh, sorry, PC Principal, but
someone wants to speak with you.
46
00:02:34,857 --> 00:02:36,492
I told you to leave me alone,
Mackey.
47
00:02:36,525 --> 00:02:37,860
I'm not in the mood.
48
00:02:37,893 --> 00:02:42,831
But... But, sir...
the president-elect is here.
49
00:02:42,865 --> 00:02:45,134
So sorry for the intrusion.
50
00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:47,069
You're not too busy, I hope.
51
00:02:47,102 --> 00:02:49,037
Uh, n-not at all.
52
00:02:49,071 --> 00:02:51,740
Please, uh, have a seat,
Mr. Garrison.
53
00:02:51,774 --> 00:02:53,542
Excuse me?
54
00:02:53,575 --> 00:02:56,812
Uh, please have a seat,
Mister... President.
55
00:02:56,845 --> 00:02:58,447
That's better, bitch.
56
00:03:00,215 --> 00:03:01,750
Certainly want to, uh,
57
00:03:01,784 --> 00:03:03,552
congratulate you
on the election.
58
00:03:03,585 --> 00:03:07,489
Do you remember the day
you fired me, PC Principal?
59
00:03:07,523 --> 00:03:10,125
I know we've had
some differences, uh...
60
00:03:10,159 --> 00:03:12,094
I was upset
because a bunch of immigrants
61
00:03:12,127 --> 00:03:15,164
were changing my class,
and I believe your response was
62
00:03:15,197 --> 00:03:17,666
that I needed to go
and learn their language,
63
00:03:17,699 --> 00:03:19,902
be more open-minded.
64
00:03:19,935 --> 00:03:23,005
I'm sorry that you're position
here at the school
65
00:03:23,038 --> 00:03:25,107
was terminated.
66
00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:27,109
Are you really?
67
00:03:27,142 --> 00:03:29,545
Are you really sorry?
68
00:03:29,578 --> 00:03:35,017
Because you see, PC Principal,
you helped create me.
69
00:03:35,050 --> 00:03:37,853
You insisted that I was a bigot,
70
00:03:37,886 --> 00:03:42,691
that I was an intolerant relic
left over from another time.
71
00:03:42,724 --> 00:03:46,762
But now... I'm your president.
72
00:03:46,795 --> 00:03:48,630
And if there's one thing
I've learned
73
00:03:48,664 --> 00:03:50,332
about becoming President,
74
00:03:50,365 --> 00:03:54,269
it's that your penis can get
really dry.
75
00:03:54,303 --> 00:03:56,472
When all the skin on your penis
is drying out
76
00:03:56,505 --> 00:03:58,540
from working so hard
to get elected,
77
00:03:58,574 --> 00:04:01,777
there's only one thing
that can fix it, isn't there?
78
00:04:01,810 --> 00:04:07,416
Saliva... from a good friend
who once doubted you.
79
00:04:07,449 --> 00:04:11,019
I need you to fix my problem,
PC Principal,
80
00:04:11,053 --> 00:04:14,456
so that we can be
even-stevens.
81
00:04:14,490 --> 00:04:16,925
What do you say, buddy?
82
00:04:25,968 --> 00:04:27,669
Oh, 'member when it fell
in her drink?
83
00:04:27,703 --> 00:04:28,537
I 'member!
84
00:04:28,570 --> 00:04:29,631
'Member when Han shot Greedo?
85
00:04:29,638 --> 00:04:30,773
Sure, I 'member Greedo.
86
00:04:30,806 --> 00:04:34,610
I 'member Greedo.
'Member?
87
00:04:34,643 --> 00:04:36,111
What's the password, 'member?
88
00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:37,846
Yeah, I 'member.
You 'member?
89
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,148
I 'member.
90
00:04:46,555 --> 00:04:48,590
'Member this place?
91
00:04:48,624 --> 00:04:49,992
Sure, I 'member.
92
00:04:50,025 --> 00:04:51,059
'Member the Tantive IV?
93
00:04:51,093 --> 00:04:52,928
Oh!
I love that ship!
94
00:04:52,961 --> 00:04:55,030
Hi, it's us!
'Member?!
95
00:04:55,063 --> 00:04:57,466
Us who?
I don't 'member.
96
00:04:57,499 --> 00:04:59,067
We did the thing
with throwing Mickey
97
00:04:59,101 --> 00:05:00,302
in the drink, 'member?
98
00:05:00,335 --> 00:05:01,770
Oh, sure, I 'member.
99
00:05:01,804 --> 00:05:03,484
That's 'cause of yous,
we won the election.
100
00:05:03,505 --> 00:05:05,107
Yeah, yeah, 'member?
101
00:05:05,140 --> 00:05:07,810
Waiter, round of drinks
for our heroes here, 'member?
102
00:05:07,843 --> 00:05:09,578
I 'member!
103
00:05:09,611 --> 00:05:11,914
You done good
poisoning the lady's drink.
104
00:05:11,947 --> 00:05:13,749
Now our man is in office,
'member?
105
00:05:13,782 --> 00:05:16,151
But I still have things
I need you to do.
106
00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:18,120
I 'member.
107
00:05:22,558 --> 00:05:24,893
Please! You have to
let me out of here!
108
00:05:24,927 --> 00:05:26,895
Skankhunt, stop.
109
00:05:26,929 --> 00:05:31,133
Yes, please. You're making
a very jackass of yourself.
110
00:05:31,166 --> 00:05:34,470
Well, well,
what do we have here?
111
00:05:34,503 --> 00:05:37,372
Looks like a little troll party.
112
00:05:37,406 --> 00:05:39,808
You Danish pricks,
you tricked us!
113
00:05:39,842 --> 00:05:43,512
We didn't trick you,
your own government did.
114
00:05:43,545 --> 00:05:45,781
They thought
if they handed you over to us,
115
00:05:45,814 --> 00:05:48,951
we would agree not to go forward
with the Troll Trace program.
116
00:05:48,984 --> 00:05:50,586
You can't hold people prisoner.
117
00:05:50,619 --> 00:05:52,020
I haven't done anything.
118
00:05:52,054 --> 00:05:53,889
People are gonna be
looking for me!
119
00:05:53,922 --> 00:05:56,258
By all means...
120
00:05:56,291 --> 00:05:58,894
contact whoever you want.
121
00:05:58,927 --> 00:06:02,364
Of course, you'll have to
tell them why you're here.
122
00:06:02,397 --> 00:06:04,233
What are you gonna do with us?
123
00:06:04,266 --> 00:06:08,036
We're going to use you
to set the world on fire.
124
00:06:08,070 --> 00:06:09,738
When the servers go online,
125
00:06:09,772 --> 00:06:13,175
there will be panic, chaos,
and war.
126
00:06:13,208 --> 00:06:16,445
And from the ashes,
a new world will rise...
127
00:06:16,478 --> 00:06:19,615
a world where everyone is
happy and a-singing
128
00:06:19,648 --> 00:06:23,452
and has a-no secrets...
like Denmark!
129
00:06:23,485 --> 00:06:26,588
You think you can turn countries
of the world against each other?
130
00:06:26,622 --> 00:06:29,792
Our President will never
let that happen.
131
00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:34,596
Hey, everybody!
132
00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:37,900
Guess who's here.
133
00:06:37,934 --> 00:06:41,103
It's the President
of the United [bleep] States.
134
00:06:42,505 --> 00:06:45,107
Oh, it's been a while
since I've heard from you guys.
135
00:06:45,141 --> 00:06:47,343
Hi, Janice.
Hello, Stephen.
136
00:06:47,376 --> 00:06:48,678
Mr. President.
137
00:06:48,711 --> 00:06:50,279
I was just, you know,
passing through
138
00:06:50,313 --> 00:06:52,315
the old neighborhood
thinking about what laws
139
00:06:52,348 --> 00:06:56,152
I might get rid of,
when suddenly out of nowhere,
140
00:06:56,185 --> 00:06:58,387
my penis got really dry.
141
00:06:58,421 --> 00:07:01,157
You know if they have anything
at this store for a dry dick?
142
00:07:01,190 --> 00:07:02,892
Huh?
143
00:07:02,925 --> 00:07:03,893
No?
144
00:07:03,926 --> 00:07:05,695
You guys can't
think of anything?
145
00:07:05,728 --> 00:07:07,463
Oh, I know.
146
00:07:07,496 --> 00:07:12,268
What about Eduardo Hernandez?
147
00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:14,637
I believe it was Eduardo
who told me
148
00:07:14,670 --> 00:07:17,173
I couldn't double-bag
my groceries
149
00:07:17,206 --> 00:07:20,876
even though he's from
[bleep] Guatemala.
150
00:07:20,910 --> 00:07:23,946
Well, what do you
think now, Eduardo?
151
00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:26,549
You want to double-bag
something else?
152
00:07:28,918 --> 00:07:30,286
This is the President.
153
00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:32,088
Sir, we need you
at the Pentagon.
154
00:07:32,121 --> 00:07:33,856
It's a matter
of national security.
155
00:07:33,889 --> 00:07:35,391
Oh, really?
156
00:07:35,424 --> 00:07:37,727
I'm kind of busy
right now, geez.
157
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:39,762
Sir, the Danish have
released a statement.
158
00:07:39,795 --> 00:07:42,365
I'm afraid we may be
going to war.
159
00:07:42,398 --> 00:07:43,633
War?
160
00:07:46,202 --> 00:07:47,803
Yep. Copy that.
161
00:07:50,106 --> 00:07:52,141
Ike! Ike, buddy,
can you hear me?
162
00:07:52,174 --> 00:07:53,476
I need you
to do something, okay?
163
00:07:53,509 --> 00:07:54,744
Daddy needs your help.
164
00:07:54,777 --> 00:07:56,512
I need you to go to your browser
165
00:07:56,545 --> 00:07:58,547
and sign on to the school
message board, okay?
166
00:07:58,581 --> 00:07:59,548
Can you do that for me?
167
00:07:59,582 --> 00:08:02,184
The school message board
and then log in.
168
00:08:02,218 --> 00:08:05,321
Lower-case "s," "skankhunt42."
169
00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:06,622
You got it?
170
00:08:06,656 --> 00:08:07,623
Wow.
171
00:08:07,657 --> 00:08:08,791
Wow, what?
172
00:08:08,824 --> 00:08:11,560
He's gonna have his son
sign in and troll for him.
173
00:08:11,594 --> 00:08:13,529
If Skankhunt is still
out there trolling,
174
00:08:13,562 --> 00:08:15,164
then they have
the wrong guy, get it?
175
00:08:15,197 --> 00:08:17,133
It's called
using your brain, fatso!
176
00:08:17,166 --> 00:08:18,935
So, they'll blame your kid?
177
00:08:18,968 --> 00:08:20,903
Nobody cares if a kid trolls.
178
00:08:20,937 --> 00:08:23,005
What are they gonna do?
Get a slap on the wrist?
179
00:08:23,039 --> 00:08:24,774
Didn't you hear
what that guy said?
180
00:08:24,807 --> 00:08:27,310
They're gonna set countries
against each other.
181
00:08:27,343 --> 00:08:28,978
We have way bigger problems.
182
00:08:29,011 --> 00:08:30,680
You don't know my [bleep] wife.
183
00:08:30,713 --> 00:08:32,315
Ike, you got it?
184
00:08:32,348 --> 00:08:33,783
Great, pal.
185
00:08:33,816 --> 00:08:36,452
Okay, now I need you to go to
the comments section, okay,
186
00:08:36,485 --> 00:08:40,389
and type in "You should
all get raped by gorillas."
187
00:08:40,423 --> 00:08:41,691
You got that, pal?
188
00:08:41,724 --> 00:08:44,093
Ike, "You should
all get raped by gorillas."
189
00:08:44,126 --> 00:08:45,962
Come on, we have
a lot work to do here.
190
00:08:48,264 --> 00:08:49,832
Jesus, I didn't
think getting to Mars
191
00:08:49,865 --> 00:08:51,067
would take this long.
192
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:52,995
You really think that this is
what we should do, babe?
193
00:08:53,002 --> 00:08:54,337
I'm gonna miss everyone.
194
00:08:54,370 --> 00:08:56,572
I know.
But it'll be worth it, babe.
195
00:08:56,606 --> 00:08:59,542
We'll be left alone
to make our new world better.
196
00:08:59,575 --> 00:09:01,310
Hey, Eric!
197
00:09:02,612 --> 00:09:04,146
What the hell
are you doing here?
198
00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:05,674
Well, I want to get
the [bleep] off this planet,
199
00:09:05,681 --> 00:09:07,283
but they told me
I had to take a number.
200
00:09:07,316 --> 00:09:09,318
Oh, no, no, no,
you're a male chauvinist
201
00:09:09,352 --> 00:09:11,146
sexist pig, Butters.
You don't get to go to Mars.
202
00:09:11,153 --> 00:09:13,522
No, you don't understand.
I've see the light.
203
00:09:13,556 --> 00:09:15,224
I'm a changed man.
204
00:09:15,257 --> 00:09:17,193
I thought boys
were being treated unfairly,
205
00:09:17,226 --> 00:09:18,227
but now I know
206
00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:21,697
shit's about to get a lot worse.
207
00:09:26,102 --> 00:09:27,403
Here we are.
208
00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:29,438
Oh, yeah! I 'member.
209
00:09:29,472 --> 00:09:32,408
Come on, everybody, 'member?
210
00:09:36,512 --> 00:09:38,681
- 'Member snowspeeders?
- Yeah, I 'member.
211
00:09:38,714 --> 00:09:40,283
'Member not hearing?
212
00:09:41,884 --> 00:09:43,653
'Member the invasion of Hoth?
213
00:09:43,686 --> 00:09:46,088
- 'Member "You rebel scum"?
- I 'member.
214
00:09:52,695 --> 00:09:54,764
Oh, 'member
the rebel transports?
215
00:09:54,797 --> 00:09:57,066
- "We did it!" 'Member?
- Sure, I 'member.
216
00:09:57,099 --> 00:09:59,168
- What do we do now?
- Don't you 'member?
217
00:09:59,201 --> 00:10:00,770
Ooh, I 'member.
218
00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:07,840
Okay, now make sure the little
worm is in the woman's mouth.
219
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,342
You got it?
220
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:12,545
Now I need you to type "You're
a fat retard" in the comments.
221
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,548
"You're a retard."
222
00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:17,917
No, you have to say
"a fa retard," Ike!
223
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,086
It's a nuance,
but it's very important!
224
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,954
"You are a fat wee-tard."
225
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:22,955
Ike!
226
00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:24,323
What are you doing?!
227
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,192
What he says.
228
00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:31,831
It was you all this time!
229
00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:33,900
What have you done, Ike?!
230
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:36,869
Do you have any idea
the damage you've caused?
231
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:39,405
How can my child
be such a monster?
232
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,975
Yes, yes, hello.
233
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,577
Hey, sweetheart.
How's everything going?
234
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:47,180
You have to come home from
helping the government, Gerald.
235
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:50,116
I just caught Ike
trolling Mrs. Hererra.
236
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,717
Are you serious?
237
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:54,854
Yeah! The school troll is
our son, Gerald!
238
00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:58,090
You should see all the things
he's posted on his computer!
239
00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,492
God dang it!
240
00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:03,129
Let me talk to him right now.
241
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:04,397
Hello?
242
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:07,366
Hey, Ike, just stay calm
and act like I'm yelling at you,
243
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,467
okay, pal?
244
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,169
Okay, give it a few seconds.
245
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:11,437
Wait.
246
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:14,607
Good. Okay, now... now say,
"I'm sorry, Dad.
247
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,210
I guess I'm just
[bleep] up inside."
248
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:18,211
No!
249
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:19,712
Ike, you have to listen to me.
250
00:11:19,745 --> 00:11:22,481
On your mother's life, this is
a matter of national security.
251
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,983
You have to say,
"I'm sorry, Dad.
252
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:26,552
I guess I'm just
[bleep] up inside."
253
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:30,122
I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm just [bleep] up inside.
254
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:32,658
That was amazing, kiddo.
It'll all be worth it, okay?
255
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,361
I'll make this up to you.
Give me back to your mom.
256
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:37,697
Gerald?
257
00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:38,798
He's full of shit.
258
00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:40,900
He's not sorry.
If he felt sorry,
259
00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:42,728
he wouldn't be able
to do it in the first place.
260
00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:43,803
I know!
261
00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:45,164
I'm gonna get home
as soon as I can
262
00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:46,339
to deal with this, okay?
263
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,040
We can deal with this together.
264
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,843
Just don't say anything
to anyone for now, all right?
265
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,111
Okay.
266
00:11:52,144 --> 00:11:53,813
Okay, yeah, I love you, too.
267
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:54,947
I know. Bye.
268
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:58,818
You just sit in here until
we figure out what to do.
269
00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:01,420
And if you get back on
that computer, you are done!
270
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,756
You got it?
271
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:07,994
Ike, okay, there's just
a few more things
272
00:12:08,027 --> 00:12:09,295
I need you to do.
273
00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:12,665
I need you to type
"How'd you like a donkey dick?"
274
00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:25,111
Welcome to the Pentagon, sir.
275
00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:26,646
I've been ordered
to show you around.
276
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,548
This way, please.
277
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,283
So, I can do whatever
the [bleep] I want
278
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,417
in here now, right?
279
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:33,653
Yes, sir. Here are
all our military secrets
280
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,354
and all classified information.
281
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,389
Okay, good.
282
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,157
This is the drone program.
283
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,593
In there, you can kill
anyone on earth remotely.
284
00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:41,661
Here's the keys.
285
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:42,695
Thanks.
286
00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:44,463
In here is
satellite surveillance
287
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,933
where you can monitor
anyone's conversation live.
288
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:48,367
Oh, that'll come in handy.
289
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:51,037
Extreme interrogation room
in case you ever find
290
00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:52,205
interrogation necessary.
291
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:55,007
Oh, hell yeah, it's necessary.
Let's do it.
292
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,244
And here, of course,
is the famous football,
293
00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:00,112
where you can order
a nuclear attack
294
00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:01,147
in four minutes.
295
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:03,583
Love me some football.
296
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:07,186
And finally, in here
is the diplomatic strategy
297
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,621
and negotiating room.
298
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,929
Oh, geez, this doesn't
look very fun.
299
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,264
Thank God you're here, sir.
300
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,800
We need your guidance.
301
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:22,702
♪ Loo, loo, loo,
I've got some apples ♪
302
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,096
♪ Loo, loo, loo,
you've got some, too ♪
303
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:26,138
Butters, butters.
You expect people to believe
304
00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:27,766
that you went from being
the biggest asshole
305
00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:30,142
in the school to
a soft-hearted feminist like me?
306
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:31,244
Fat chance.
307
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:33,312
No, no, believe me,
I'm a changed man.
308
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:34,881
Girls are really smart,
and they'll be
309
00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:36,942
running the country soon,
and they deserve total respect.
310
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:39,218
Yeah?
You just forgot one thing...
311
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:40,686
that women are funny, too.
312
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,081
That didn't occur to you,
did it, Butters?
313
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:43,549
Well, I don't think
there was ever any question
314
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:44,524
women are funny.
315
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:45,691
Remember that movie "9 to 5"
316
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,426
with Lily Tomlin
and Dolly Parton?
317
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,128
Oh, yeah, that movie was funny.
318
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,290
Well, I laughed my butt off,
and it never even occurred to me
319
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:52,198
that they were women.
320
00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:53,633
I don't know why things changed.
321
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,194
I don't know why people
make such a big deal
322
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:56,335
about women in comedy now.
323
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:57,904
I mean, what about
Carol Burnett?
324
00:13:57,937 --> 00:13:58,871
She was great!
325
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:01,440
Wow, I guess you're right.
326
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,776
Yeah, and I mean,
when women make vagina jokes,
327
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:05,171
I think it's
the funniest thing ever.
328
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,946
Yeah, I swear I don't care
how many times
329
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:08,548
Amy Schumer
talks about her vagina,
330
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:11,150
I laugh every time.
331
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,652
Oh, I see what you're doing.
332
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,220
- What, babe?
- Oh, nothing, babe.
333
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:16,389
I'm just... Do you think
you could tell me some jokes?
334
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:17,723
Why do you want me
335
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,025
telling you jokes all the time?
336
00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:21,727
Because you're
[bleep] hilarious.
337
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,796
Well, did I tell you
the one about the skeleton
338
00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:24,897
and the skunk?
339
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:28,501
That's already funny!
340
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,972
All around the world,
countries are mobilizing armies
341
00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:34,740
and preparing
defensive countermeasures.
342
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,509
Why?
What the hell happened?
343
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,977
This is everything
you need to know
344
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:39,679
about the Troll Trace program.
345
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,247
What's Troll Trace?
346
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:42,715
A plan by the Danish to release
347
00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:45,651
the full Internet histories
of everyone on earth.
348
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,925
The previous administration
tried to work with the Danish
349
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:50,423
by handing over several trolls,
but the plan didn't work.
350
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:53,926
The entire world has become
very uncertain and unstable.
351
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:57,096
We think we should order all
navy vessels to the Bering Sea.
352
00:14:57,129 --> 00:14:58,431
For what?
353
00:14:58,464 --> 00:15:00,933
Because when the Chinese
are able to see all our e-mails
354
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:02,735
and online activity,
we believe they will
355
00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:04,036
most likely attack us.
356
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,639
Also, there are ground troops
mobilizing in Paris
357
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:09,308
because the French believe
when we see all their e-mails,
358
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,244
we will most likely attack them.
359
00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:12,545
Mr. President, sir.
360
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,480
The Russians are asking
what we intend to do
361
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:15,481
about the Danish.
362
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,350
Well, why are you asking me?
363
00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:19,018
Please, sir, we have
very little time
364
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:21,053
before this escalates
beyond our control.
365
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,119
President Putin.
366
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,555
'Member the Death Star?
367
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,256
'Member cutting open tauntauns?
368
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,591
Yeah, yeah, 'member the Force?
369
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:02,762
Sure, I 'member.
370
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,897
Hey, hey, hey,
'member the Cold War?
371
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:06,032
Ooh, I love the Cold War.
372
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:07,233
That was fantastic.
373
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:13,940
Okay, numbers 204 through 215,
you can come on through.
374
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,475
Oh, finally!
375
00:16:15,509 --> 00:16:17,511
Hey, that's me, too!
Yippee!
376
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:20,013
Right in here, everyone.
377
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,418
Hello, everyone,
and welcome to the tour.
378
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:26,853
I'm Elon Musk.
379
00:16:26,887 --> 00:16:28,522
Are we gonna have
some fun today?
380
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,490
Oh, great, a stupid tour guide.
381
00:16:30,524 --> 00:16:31,751
Can we just talk
to someone important, please?
382
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:32,959
We want to go to Mars.
383
00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:36,363
And getting anywhere
takes ingenuity.
384
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:40,300
Oh, Mrs. Door, would you mind
opening, please?
385
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,502
Yes, Elon.
386
00:16:50,544 --> 00:16:53,413
♪♪
387
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:56,516
The only way
for humankind to survive
388
00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:59,452
is with imagination
and technology...
389
00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:01,521
Cars that run on electricity.
390
00:17:01,555 --> 00:17:04,424
Solar panels that replace
roof shingles.
391
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:08,061
Even food that changes form.
392
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,830
You see this?
It's a pizza...
393
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,366
Only four inches long,
and yet when heated,
394
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,670
it expands to make enough pizza
to feed 100 people.
395
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:20,240
I call it the Pizza Pocket.
396
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,375
They already have pizza pockets.
397
00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,377
Who would like to see
the Hyperloop,
398
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,780
a new mode of travel
that can take you from here
399
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:30,650
to Dubai in nine minutes?
400
00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:32,018
Excuse me, Mr. Musk.
401
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,279
This is all
super interesting and shit,
402
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,921
but can we see
the Mars rocket now?
403
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,926
Sir, India's moving
aircraft carriers
404
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,228
into the Gulf of Mexico.
405
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,263
Well, why would we care
about Mexicans?
406
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,965
Sir, a message
from Saudi Arabia.
407
00:17:44,998 --> 00:17:46,078
They say they pinky promise
408
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,393
not to look up
our Internet history
409
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,102
if we pinky promise
not to look up theirs.
410
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:51,171
Well, what does that even mean?!
411
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,707
Still waiting on if we should
send troops into Japan, sir.
412
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,475
I don't know!
Geez!
413
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:58,211
Sir, it's the U.K.
Secretary of Foreign Affairs
414
00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,346
calling from London.
415
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:00,814
He says they have advice
for you.
416
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:01,848
What?!
417
00:18:01,882 --> 00:18:02,782
Yes, hello.
418
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:04,584
Things aren't looking good here.
419
00:18:04,618 --> 00:18:08,722
We just want to say whatever
you do, don't eat the mem'bries.
420
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,624
Don't eat the mem'bries!
They're bad!
421
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,959
Mem'bries?
422
00:18:12,993 --> 00:18:15,161
I'm afraid everyone here
who ate the mem'bries
423
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:17,297
wanted to go back in the past,
you see?
424
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,299
Hasn't worked out
too well for us.
425
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,501
We shouldn't have ate
the mem'bries.
426
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:23,370
The mem'bries cloud
your judgment.
427
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:25,071
They get inside your head,
you see?
428
00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,641
"Get inside your head."
429
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:29,009
Wait a minute!
430
00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:31,811
Nobody gets in my head,
you limey bitch!
431
00:18:31,845 --> 00:18:33,180
Are you insulting me?!
432
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,447
Stop wasting my time,
433
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:35,882
'cause I'll have you here
on a plane
434
00:18:35,916 --> 00:18:37,918
in five hours sucking my dick!
435
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,787
What'd he say?
436
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,622
I believe they've eaten
the mem'bries.
437
00:18:42,656 --> 00:18:45,058
Oh, dear!
Oh, dear!
438
00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:48,762
Here you see our Falcon 9
full-thrust rockets.
439
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,830
They are actually able
to take off into space
440
00:18:50,864 --> 00:18:54,000
and land safely
back on earth for reuse.
441
00:18:54,034 --> 00:18:55,602
Well, I certainly want
to thank you all
442
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,003
for joining our tour today.
443
00:18:57,037 --> 00:18:58,872
You've been a wonderful group.
444
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:00,473
Give yourselves
a round of applause.
445
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,008
Huh? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
446
00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:03,343
What about going to Mars?
447
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,779
Mars? We're still about 10 years
away from going to Mars.
448
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,781
Maybe 8.
Oh!
449
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:10,150
No. No, no, no, no,
we have to go now.
450
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,011
Well, I'm sorry,
but it's a bit more complicated
451
00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:13,453
than a Pizza Pocket.
452
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,689
Going to Mars is gonna take
a lot of very smart people
453
00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:17,858
working very hard
for a very long time.
454
00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:20,994
Now, if you don't mind, I have
hundreds of more tours to do.
455
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,996
Mr. Musk, wait!
456
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,198
Maybe we can help you
get to Mars sooner.
457
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:27,334
I'm not sure if you know
our friend, Heidi.
458
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:30,203
She's really smart
and really funny.
459
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,475
Like... how funny?
460
00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:44,551
♪ Gonna take a lot
to take me away from you ♪
461
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:49,089
♪ There's nothing that a hundred
men or more could ever do ♪
462
00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:55,962
Out of the way, 'member?
463
00:19:55,996 --> 00:19:58,076
You better 'member, if you know
what's good for yous.
464
00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:06,373
Hey, look!
It's him, 'member?
465
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,975
Sure, I 'member!
466
00:20:09,009 --> 00:20:10,710
Ah, yous did good.
467
00:20:10,744 --> 00:20:11,671
Who's in charge, 'member?
468
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:13,280
We decided he's in charge.
469
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,814
No, we said I'm
in charge, 'member?
470
00:20:14,848 --> 00:20:17,150
No, wait, I 'member.
We all said he's in charge.
471
00:20:17,184 --> 00:20:18,685
Oh, yeah, I 'member.
472
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,220
Wrong.
473
00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:21,888
Waaaah!
474
00:20:21,922 --> 00:20:23,623
'Member stormtroopers?
475
00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:25,358
Sure, I 'member.
476
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:28,528
Not those stormtroopers!
The real old ones.
477
00:20:28,562 --> 00:20:31,831
People want to 'member?
They're gonna 'member.
478
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:37,204
Ike?
479
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,208
What are you doing?
480
00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:44,077
Don't talk to him!
He is in big trouble!
481
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:45,312
What'd he do?
482
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:46,880
It's him, Kyle!
483
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,915
Your brother is
the Internet troll
484
00:20:48,949 --> 00:20:51,718
who's caused all this pain
in our community.
485
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,421
What?
It was him all along.
486
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,590
Now we have to figure out
what to tell people
487
00:20:56,623 --> 00:21:02,128
when they learn this ugliness
came from our family.
488
00:21:02,162 --> 00:21:04,664
You made people quit Twitter?
489
00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:07,467
You started a war
between boys and girls?
490
00:21:07,501 --> 00:21:08,935
You...
491
00:21:11,972 --> 00:21:13,773
I call it emoji analysis.
492
00:21:13,807 --> 00:21:16,009
It isn't a student,
it's an adult.
493
00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:18,812
This ugliness came
from our family.
494
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,680
I think it's one of the parents.
495
00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:22,949
You're supposed to just laugh
and make fun of shit.
496
00:21:22,983 --> 00:21:25,352
Daddy called you a pussy.
497
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:26,686
Oh, my God.
498
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,021
Oh, my God!
499
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:29,122
Ike, come on!
500
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,396
Kyle?!
501
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:37,964
Ike?!
502
00:21:37,998 --> 00:21:40,734
What, what, whaaat?!