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Episode 9x14
"Bloody Mary"

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Ichi!

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Ichi!

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Ichi!

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Ichi!

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Ichi!

7
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Ichi!

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Ichi banzai!

9
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Ichi!

10
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Ichi banzai!
Kya!

11
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Karutamane-san! What are you dwing?!

12
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I'm doing some sweet banzai moves.

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I'm a little better than everyone else here.

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Eriku-san, you must follow direction!
You raku disciprine!

15
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Nah-uh, I don't raku disciprine!

16
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Mina-san! You all needu more disciprine!

17
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True disciprine... come from within.

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We are out of time.
I will see you on Tuesday.

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Dude, we've gotta hurry home!
The final episode of Lost is on soon.

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Yeah, let's go.

21
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Wait. Where's my Dad?

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He knew he had to take
us all home, too, right?

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Yeah.

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Dad? Where the hell could he have gone?

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Oh hey, sorry boys.

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Later Randy.

27
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Heey, see you Nelson.

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Dad, weren't you watching?

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Well, I ran into Nelson from work.
We were at the bar watching the game.

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Two-dollar margaritas! It was great.

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All right, come on,
I'll drive you guys home.

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Are you sure you're all right?

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Oh yeah, I'll be fine.
I got some beers to keep my buzz going.

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Dad, aren't you supposed to like,
not drink and drive?

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I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving
while I'm drinking. Right, boys?

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Sure, whatever dude.

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Oh I gotta pee.
Hand me that empty bottle, Stan.

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Why not just pull over?

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Stan, you need to learn some things
about being a man! Now give me that bottle!

40
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There's a reason why God made
our penises like little hoses, boys.

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Hold the wheel, Stan.

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When you boys start driving, you're gonna
need to learn to do this too. Woahp!

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Dad, we're gonna crash!

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Shh! Trying to concentrate!
Just hold the damn wheel!

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Dude, I think you're being followed.

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Oh yeah?
Get off my ass, dickhole!

47
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No, dude, it's the police.

48
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Aww crap!

49
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Here, hold this!

50
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Aww, it's all warm!

51
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Everybody just stay calm!
I can handle this, no problem.

52
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I know how to deal.

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License and registration, please.

54
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What seems to be the officer, problem?

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Sir, why don't you step
out of the car for me?

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Okay.

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Sir, I'm going to give you a sobriety test.

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Okay, no problem. Easy.

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Stand over here, please?
Right there.

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All right, now I want you to
hold your arms out at your sides...

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There! I did it, see?! No problem!

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And now touch your finger to your nose.

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Do what?

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Touch your finger to your nose.

65
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Wull come on, that's impossible!

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Just bring one hand to your nose, like this.

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Okay...

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Okay, hang on...

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Okay, hang, ha-
...hang on...

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Hol-! Hold on.
Wa-hang on, hang on.

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Dude, what the hell is he doing?

72
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I think his pants are falling down.

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What? What did I do?!
What did I do?!

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Keep blowing. Keep blowing.
Keep blowing.

75
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Aw Jesus!

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This is sooo embarrassing.

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You know, Stan, I'd say
your dad racksa disciprine!

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You know, I didn't even get home until 2:30.

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Man, that was such a bummer.

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Look, guys, about last night,
can you just be quiet about it?

81
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Why?

82
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Because, I don't want
everyone knowing, okay?

83
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Could we please just
keep this to ourselves?

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All right, Stan.
Sure.

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Okay children, let's take our seats.

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Today we will be continuing
our study of economics.

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But first, we're going to hear
from a motivational speaker.

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The state has sent over somebody to talk to
you all about the dangers of drunk driving.

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Please welcome Stan's dad.

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Oh Jesus.

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Well uh, I'm, s'posed to tell you kids
about how bad drinking is, um...

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I'd-did a little drinking and driving.
As part of my punishement I'm...

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doing community service
work at schools like these.

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Oh that's very interesting, isn't it, kids?

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Uh, you you shouldn't drink,
because it leads tuuuh bad things.

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I was in jail for the night
and well I guess I dunno, I...

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Just don't drink but,...

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if you must drink, d-definitely don't drive.

99
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I've... definitely learned that firsthand,
and uh, uuh, that's all, I guess.

100
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Well, I think we've all learned an
important lesson, haven't we, class?

101
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If you don't make the right choices in life

102
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you  could end up being a big
loser like Stan's dad.

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Drinking and driving is for idiots. Nobody
wants to end up like Stan's dad, do they?

104
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I want you all to take a good
look at Stan's dad and say:

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"Is that who I want to be in thirty years?"

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Getting tickets and having to go
to elementary school classrooms

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and talk about how pathetic I am?

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Thank  you Mr. Marsh,
I think you made your point.

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Hello again everyone.

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My name is Michael
and I'm an alcaholic.

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Hi, Michael.

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As most of you know I once lost my job
and my family because of my drinking.

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But with the help of AA
I've been sober for ten years now.

114
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Anyone have anything they wanna
tell the groups, for starters?

115
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My name's Bill, and Im an alcoholic.

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Hi Bill.
- Hi Bill.

117
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I've been using the 12-step program
for about two months now and

118
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and I'm really turning my life around.

119
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No more blowing guys on Colfax Avenue
for a pint of vodka for this cowboy!

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That's great. And I understand this is
somebody's first AA meeting, is that right?

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Yes, you sir. Stand on up
and introduce yourself.

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Um, my name's Randy
and... I just, really like beer.

123
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You have to admit you're an alcoholic.

124
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But, I don't knnow if
I'm really an alcoholic.

125
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Then why are you here?

126
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Because I got a DUI and so I'm required
to attend AA meetings for two weeks.

127
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I was stupid one night and drank
too much and then drove a car.

128
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That was dumb and I'm not gonna do it again.

129
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Randy, you are powerless
to make that decision.

130
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The only thing that works
is the 12-step program.

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Step 1 is admitting that you are
powerless to control your drinking.

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Only then can you move on
to the other 12 steps, like...

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believing that only a higher power,
God, makes you stop drinking.

134
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And then, turning your
life over to that God.

135
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Humbly asking God to remove your weaknesses.

136
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What wait wait, hold on.

137
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I never knew that Alcoholics Anonymous
was a religious thing.

138
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Well it's not religious.

139
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You just have to admit that there is some
kind of god which has power over you

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and turn your life over to that
god and ask him for forgiveness.

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That's the 12-step program, not religion.

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Look, I really just need
to cut down on my drinking

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and never drive the car drunk again.

144
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You just can't cut down
on your drinking, Randy.

145
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You need to know something.

146
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You have a disease.

147
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Uh... a disease?

148
00:07:46,747 --> 00:07:50,093
That's right. Alcoholism is a disease.

149
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You're sick, Randy.
You're very very sick.

150
00:07:52,822 --> 00:07:56,808
And just like with most diseases,
you can't cure it yourself.

151
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And it's deadly.

152
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Oh my God...

153
00:08:06,742 --> 00:08:08,623
Dad! What the hell are you doing?!

154
00:08:08,699 --> 00:08:09,821
Hello, Stan.

155
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Dad, it's the middle of the day!

156
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I thought you weren't going
to drink as much anymore!

157
00:08:13,115 --> 00:08:17,043
No, Stan, you don't understand.
I have a disease.

158
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Daddy's very sick.

159
00:08:19,201 --> 00:08:21,259
What? Did you go to your AA meeting?!

160
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Yes, they're the ones that told me.

161
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I thought I could just quite drinking
on my own, but... it's an illness, son.

162
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I have to admit that I'm powerless
to this terrible disease.

163
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Dad, you've had enough! Just stop now!

164
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I can't! I'm sick!

165
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It's not fair! Why did you
give me this disease?!

166
00:08:54,079 --> 00:08:57,285
Stan! Stan!

167
00:08:58,186 --> 00:08:59,279
Stan.

168
00:08:59,466 --> 00:09:00,833
Aw Goddamnit!

169
00:09:00,868 --> 00:09:02,875
Stan I... need your help.

170
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:04,976
Dad, what are you doing in
Grandpa's extra wheelchair?!

171
00:09:05,013 --> 00:09:09,493
Gotta try to take it easy from now on, son.
Get Daddy another beer, will ya?

172
00:09:09,528 --> 00:09:11,350
No! You don't need another beer!

173
00:09:11,393 --> 00:09:12,594
I know that!

174
00:09:12,968 --> 00:09:16,870
But this disease is just eating me up!
I hate my illness!

175
00:09:16,905 --> 00:09:20,220
Dad, you just need to not drink so much.
It's very simple.

176
00:09:20,264 --> 00:09:22,273
I wish it was that simple, son.

177
00:09:22,422 --> 00:09:27,140
But if I don't give myself up to a higher
power, this disease is going to kill me dead.

178
00:09:27,184 --> 00:09:31,658
I'm afraid the only thing that
will cure me... is a miracle.

179
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Es un milagro.
Es un milagro!

180
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,581
Tom, I'm standing in the garden
of St. Peter's church in Bailey.

181
00:10:08,582 --> 00:10:11,985
Where what some call a
miracle is taking place.

182
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:17,454
The statue of the Virgin Mary has
started to bleed. Out its ass.

183
00:10:18,087 --> 00:10:21,207
The phenomenon was first seen
by Father Harold Barnes.

184
00:10:21,265 --> 00:10:25,071
Who saw the blood coming from the
Virgin Mary's ass late last night.

185
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People from all over the state have flocked here to
the church to witness the apparent mriacle firsthand.

186
00:10:30,536 --> 00:10:32,924
Well, we just heard that
this miracle was happening

187
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:36,067
and we wanted to see it for
ourselves and come and pray.

188
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:39,195
Why do you believe the
Virgin Mary is dripping blood?

189
00:10:39,252 --> 00:10:43,914
Well it may represent her sorrow over
all the bad things going on in the world.

190
00:10:44,116 --> 00:10:48,209
Why do you believe the Virgin Mary
is dripping blood out her ass?

191
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:54,072
As news of the miracle spreads, hundreds are
expected to show up here at the church

192
00:10:54,072 --> 00:10:57,868
hoping to witness the miracle
and even cure their diseases.

193
00:10:59,102 --> 00:11:03,131
Cure... cure disease. STAN!

194
00:11:07,572 --> 00:11:09,889
My name is Harry and I'm an alcoholic.

195
00:11:09,917 --> 00:11:11,263
Hi Harry.

196
00:11:11,601 --> 00:11:15,564
I've been sober now for five years
and I've learned that drinking ice tea

197
00:11:15,565 --> 00:11:18,583
and  getting more involved with
my relationship with God is

198
00:11:18,584 --> 00:11:20,407
is way more fun than partying.

199
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,152
It it sure is.

200
00:11:22,187 --> 00:11:26,078
Once I accepted that I was powerless
to control my drinking and my life.

201
00:11:26,078 --> 00:11:30,794
I put it in God's hands and now, these
meeting are the most fun thing I do.

202
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:32,650
Yeah.

203
00:11:33,934 --> 00:11:36,377
Ah,  excuse me, who's in charge here?

204
00:11:36,449 --> 00:11:39,169
None of us are in charge.
We're all powerless.

205
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,370
We sure are. That's right. Uh huh.

206
00:11:41,413 --> 00:11:43,241
Uh, look, my dad was here yesterday and

207
00:11:43,241 --> 00:11:46,444
you all kind of messed him up by
telling him he had a disease?

208
00:11:47,297 --> 00:11:49,004
Alcoholism is a disease.

209
00:11:49,326 --> 00:11:50,837
No it, it's not.

210
00:11:50,837 --> 00:11:54,016
And, y-you can't just go around saying
stuff like that to people like my dad.

211
00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:55,742
He He's kind of, a hypochondriac .

212
00:11:55,771 --> 00:12:00,591
It is a disease because it's a physical
dependency. That makes it a disease.

213
00:12:00,634 --> 00:12:04,088
No, cancer is a disease.
My dad needs to drink less.

214
00:12:04,116 --> 00:12:06,658
He can't quit by himself.
None of us could.

215
00:12:06,716 --> 00:12:09,738
He needs divine intervention.
Spirituality.

216
00:12:09,766 --> 00:12:11,939
No, he just needs adisciprine.

217
00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:15,968
But thanks to you people, my dad now thinks
he has a disease that he can't cure himself.

218
00:12:15,997 --> 00:12:19,162
Young man, do you know anything
about the 12-Step Program?

219
00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:21,265
Yeah, and I also know a
thing or two about cults.

220
00:12:21,265 --> 00:12:23,263
I was the leader of one for a while.

221
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,689
Goddamnit!

222
00:12:27,269 --> 00:12:29,514
The crowd grows larger every hour.

223
00:12:29,514 --> 00:12:34,457
As the statue of the Virgin Mary
continues to miraculously cry blood...

224
00:12:34,457 --> 00:12:36,089
out her ass.

225
00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:39,493
A Cardinal, Mallory,
has been sent by the Vatican

226
00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:42,909
to determine whether this
is a true miracle or not.

227
00:12:46,357 --> 00:12:48,266
Right this way, Cardinal.

228
00:12:49,552 --> 00:12:53,496
The blood always comes from the same area.
Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.

229
00:13:20,497 --> 00:13:21,976
It's a miracle!

230
00:13:31,136 --> 00:13:32,977
Uh, kay, here we go.

231
00:13:33,453 --> 00:13:35,237
Dad?! Dad, what are you doing?!

232
00:13:35,266 --> 00:13:37,266
I gotta drive to Bailey.

233
00:13:37,641 --> 00:13:39,859
Dad, you're drunk!
You're not driving a car!

234
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:43,442
No, Stan, you don't understand.
There's a church in Bailey.

235
00:13:43,471 --> 00:13:46,923
The statue of the Vergin Mary
is bleeding out her ass.

236
00:13:48,283 --> 00:13:48,959
What?

237
00:13:48,988 --> 00:13:52,293
They say her divine ass blood
has miraculous healing power.

238
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,497
She can cure my alcoholism!
I'll be back soon!

239
00:13:55,554 --> 00:13:58,677
Dad, you can't drive!
Your license is suspended, remember?!

240
00:13:58,677 --> 00:14:01,709
If you get pulled over again,
you're gonna go to jail for ten years!

241
00:14:03,183 --> 00:14:06,197
Alright... then you drive!

242
00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:08,176
I'm eight!

243
00:14:08,219 --> 00:14:12,817
This is my only hope, Stan!
Either you drive this car or I will!

244
00:14:15,738 --> 00:14:17,386
I sure hope this works.

245
00:14:17,666 --> 00:14:19,680
No. No, it will work!

246
00:14:19,709 --> 00:14:21,984
I have to put my faith in a higher power.

247
00:14:22,079 --> 00:14:24,146
I have to believe that this will work!

248
00:14:24,147 --> 00:14:26,612
There! There's the church!
Stop right here, Stan!

249
00:14:26,656 --> 00:14:27,620
Where. I can't see.

250
00:14:27,648 --> 00:14:29,792
Right here is good!
Brake pedal! Left pedal!

251
00:14:31,587 --> 00:14:33,761
Alright, get my wheelchair out of the back.

252
00:14:35,213 --> 00:14:36,824
Is that the line?

253
00:14:37,414 --> 00:14:38,838
Oh God!

254
00:14:40,378 --> 00:14:42,856
Is this whole line people
waiting to be cured?

255
00:14:42,885 --> 00:14:46,009
Yeah. I wa diagnosed with brain
cancer two months ago.

256
00:14:46,038 --> 00:14:48,003
I feel like this is my only hope.

257
00:14:48,124 --> 00:14:51,580
I know exactly how you feel.
I've got alcoholism.

258
00:14:51,615 --> 00:14:52,906
Oh my God...

259
00:14:53,202 --> 00:14:55,864
Wait a minute. Stan,
isn't that Josh Garrett up there?

260
00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:57,993
He's from South Park.
Maybe he'll let us in line with him.

261
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,260
Dad, let's just wait our turn.

262
00:14:59,274 --> 00:15:02,076
I could die waiting in this line, Stan.
Come on, let's go!

263
00:15:04,119 --> 00:15:06,291
Heeey  heh, Josh Garrett.
How yo doin'?

264
00:15:06,335 --> 00:15:08,335
Oh, hey Randy.
What happened to you?

265
00:15:08,378 --> 00:15:12,173
I've got a disease: Alcoholism.
It's pretty serious. You?

266
00:15:12,288 --> 00:15:14,432
My daughter has elephantitis.

267
00:15:18,290 --> 00:15:20,412
We are the same, she and I.

268
00:15:21,052 --> 00:15:22,951
Eey, what do you think you're doin', kid?

269
00:15:22,995 --> 00:15:24,764
You're trying to cut in line!

270
00:15:24,822 --> 00:15:26,333
I just, my dad was-

271
00:15:26,347 --> 00:15:29,293
You're a butter!
You're a dirty linecutter!

272
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:40,066
Praise Jesus.

273
00:15:43,435 --> 00:15:47,309
This is taking too long!
I'm gonna run out of beer! Stan!

274
00:15:47,367 --> 00:15:48,000
What?!

275
00:15:48,058 --> 00:15:49,396
You see that guy up there?

276
00:15:49,425 --> 00:15:51,151
I think he has a kidney disease.

277
00:15:51,194 --> 00:15:53,784
Every couple of minutes he gets out
of line to go to the bathroom.

278
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,945
When he leaves next, let's take his place.

279
00:15:55,959 --> 00:15:57,570
No, Dad, people will see!

280
00:15:57,605 --> 00:16:01,456
The guy behind him is blind!
There he goes! C'mon! C'mon! Go go go!

281
00:16:05,524 --> 00:16:08,244
Hey. I smell a butter.

282
00:16:08,316 --> 00:16:10,301
He did, that kid just cut in line!

283
00:16:10,316 --> 00:16:11,814
Back o'the line, butter!

284
00:16:11,849 --> 00:16:13,268
I'm going to die!

285
00:16:13,297 --> 00:16:14,534
Dad, we're going back!

286
00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:17,303
What's goin' on here?
- This kid's cutting in line!

287
00:16:17,338 --> 00:16:19,586
Please, officer,
you have to understand.

288
00:16:19,658 --> 00:16:21,787
I need a miracle way
more than these people.

289
00:16:21,859 --> 00:16:24,935
I'm an alcoholic and I'm powerless over it.

290
00:16:25,848 --> 00:16:28,453
I understand.
My brother's an alcoholic.

291
00:16:28,496 --> 00:16:30,122
Here, let me push you to
the front of the line.

292
00:16:30,151 --> 00:16:32,739
Oh bless you, sir! Bless you!

293
00:16:33,306 --> 00:16:36,801
'Scuse me, out of the way,
alcoholic coming through!

294
00:16:40,826 --> 00:16:42,984
She's... beautiful.

295
00:16:58,023 --> 00:17:01,318
I'm... not... going... to drink this.

296
00:17:01,376 --> 00:17:06,054
I'm not going to drink this!
It's a miracle! I'm cured!

297
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:11,532
Praise Jesus!
Praise Mary the Blessed Vergin Mother!

298
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,013
Thank you!
Thank you God!

299
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:23,993
Good morning, family. The Lord has truly
blessed us with another beautiful day.

300
00:17:26,511 --> 00:17:30,857
It's just amazing. I haven't had
a drink in five days. Praise Christ.

301
00:17:31,030 --> 00:17:32,062
Praise him.

302
00:17:32,239 --> 00:17:34,052
Praise Christ.
- Praise Christ.

303
00:17:34,685 --> 00:17:37,807
I've got another AA meeting today
and guess where it's gonna be, Stan

304
00:17:37,879 --> 00:17:40,329
At Whistlin' Willy's Pizza,
so you can come with me.

305
00:17:40,358 --> 00:17:43,193
Naw, Dad, all the guys are going to Kyle's
house to watch the Bronco game.

306
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:44,905
Kenny and Kyle's Dads
were hoping you'd come.

307
00:17:44,934 --> 00:17:47,861
Stan, those people drink.
I have new friends now.

308
00:17:47,904 --> 00:17:51,184
My AA friends,
who have faith in a higher power.

309
00:17:53,877 --> 00:17:55,541
Yeah, all right, woohoo!

310
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:59,169
Boy this lemonade is great! Who knew
how fun being sober could be?!

311
00:17:59,198 --> 00:18:01,078
Yeah!
That's right! Right!

312
00:18:01,841 --> 00:18:03,827
Your dad doesn't drink either?

313
00:18:03,841 --> 00:18:05,438
No, my dad doesn't drink.

314
00:18:05,841 --> 00:18:07,668
Does that mean we're friends?

315
00:18:08,517 --> 00:18:10,877
'Scuse me, I I'd like to
address the group if I may.

316
00:18:10,891 --> 00:18:12,490
Sure Randy, go ahead.

317
00:18:13,037 --> 00:18:14,778
I'm Randy and I'm an alcoholic.

318
00:18:14,807 --> 00:18:16,175
Hi Randy.

319
00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:20,880
But I put my faith in a higher power
and I haven't had a drink for five days now!

320
00:18:24,128 --> 00:18:27,178
An update from the bleeding
Virgin Mary statue!

321
00:18:27,213 --> 00:18:29,337
Oh wait. Sh sh.
Hold on a second, gang.

322
00:18:29,351 --> 00:18:33,406
Earlier today, the new pope,
Pope Benedict the 16th himself

323
00:18:33,406 --> 00:18:37,507
visited the statue here in Bailey
to witness the miracle firsthand.

324
00:18:37,766 --> 00:18:39,708
It was an amazing sight to behold

325
00:18:39,708 --> 00:18:42,255
as Pope Benedict made his way
through the throngs of people.

326
00:18:42,298 --> 00:18:44,061
Right this way, Your Holiness.

327
00:18:44,543 --> 00:18:47,060
The pope then examined the statue closely.

328
00:19:05,470 --> 00:19:09,355
After witnessing the phenomenon firsthand,
the pope then cleaned himself off

329
00:19:09,355 --> 00:19:15,143
and then declared that the bleeding
Virgin Mary statue is not a miracle!

330
00:19:16,035 --> 00:19:16,639
What?

331
00:19:16,682 --> 00:19:18,423
Having investigated closely.

332
00:19:18,423 --> 00:19:22,064
The pope determined that the blood was
not coming from the Virgin Mary's ass.

333
00:19:22,064 --> 00:19:24,135
But rather, from her vagina.

334
00:19:24,135 --> 00:19:25,632
And the pope said quote:

335
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:28,610
"A chick bleeding out her
vagina is no miracle."

336
00:19:28,610 --> 00:19:31,554
"Chicks bleed out their
vaginas all the time."

337
00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:33,644
Back  to you, Tom.

338
00:19:33,744 --> 00:19:35,701
Thanks, Edward.
That's a very shocking report...

339
00:19:35,802 --> 00:19:37,874
That means... I'm not cured.

340
00:19:38,306 --> 00:19:39,903
I still have the disease!

341
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:42,380
Bartender! I need a drink!

342
00:19:42,423 --> 00:19:44,970
Three shots of McAllen,
two small bottles of vodka

343
00:19:44,970 --> 00:19:47,905
three bottles of beer and some
Jell-O shooters! Come on! Let's go!

344
00:19:47,949 --> 00:19:49,344
Randy, uh what are you doing?

345
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:53,910
You heard what he said! The higher power
didn't cure me! I'm powerless again!

346
00:19:54,428 --> 00:19:56,212
I'm, I'm, I'm powerless too!

347
00:19:56,332 --> 00:19:57,320
Yeah me too!

348
00:19:57,536 --> 00:19:59,003
Get me seven martini's!

349
00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:00,357
Jack and Coke!

350
00:20:01,248 --> 00:20:03,151
Dad, Dad, Stop!

351
00:20:04,129 --> 00:20:06,302
I'm sorry, son!
I'm off the wagon!

352
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:08,333
Dad, you don't have to do this!

353
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:12,261
You have the power.
You haven't drank since seeing the statue.

354
00:20:12,717 --> 00:20:14,904
But the statue wasn't a miracle!

355
00:20:15,163 --> 00:20:18,756
Yeah. The statue wasn't a miracle, Dad.
So that means you did it.

356
00:20:18,889 --> 00:20:22,362
That means you didn't have a drink
for five days all on your own.

357
00:20:25,909 --> 00:20:30,871
You're right, Stan. If God didn't make
me stop drinking then... I did.

358
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:35,588
Maybe... Maybe I can force
myself to never drink again.

359
00:20:36,049 --> 00:20:38,063
No!
- No?

360
00:20:38,192 --> 00:20:41,951
Dad, you like to drink. So have a
drink once in a while. Have two.

361
00:20:41,980 --> 00:20:45,221
If you devote your whole life to
completely avoiding something you like

362
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:48,914
then that thing still controls your life and
you've never learned any discipline at all.

363
00:20:49,408 --> 00:20:53,585
But, maybe... I'm just the kind of person
who needs to have it all or nothing.

364
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:55,671
Naw. All or nothing is easy.

365
00:20:55,728 --> 00:20:59,532
But learning to drink a little bit,
responsibly, that'sa disciprine.

366
00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:02,344
Disciprine... come from within.

367
00:21:06,824 --> 00:21:09,897
How did I manage to raise such a smart kid?

368
00:21:10,631 --> 00:21:12,281
I've had a great teacher.

369
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:14,016
Thanks son.

370
00:21:14,504 --> 00:21:16,866
No not you, my karate teacher.
He's really smart.

371
00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:19,116
Oh. Well, tell you what

372
00:21:19,117 --> 00:21:21,934
let's leave the car here, walk home
and watch the game.

373
00:21:21,992 --> 00:21:23,460
Like to have another beer or two.

374
00:21:23,517 --> 00:21:25,863
All right!
- Come on!

375
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,067
Or maybe I'll have three beers.

376
00:21:29,102 --> 00:21:30,798
That's probably okay if you spread it out.

377
00:21:30,841 --> 00:21:32,550
Well how about four?
- I think you're pushing it.

378
00:21:32,579 --> 00:21:34,637
How about twenty?
- That's not disciprine.

379
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,248
Right right. Does vodka count?

380
00:21:36,291 --> 00:21:37,155
Dad!

381
00:21:39,216 --> 00:21:42,553
Transcipt: spscriptorium
Sync: John Smith

382
00:21:43,387 --> 00:21:46,723
Cya next season.
(starts prolly around 22 march)