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Synced by yyets - Corrections by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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Unless we come together as a country
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and realize that refugees from Syria
should be considered in...
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Booo!
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Boo, Wendy.
Boo Wendy Testaburger, boo.
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Refugees from Syria should be considered
in need of international protection.
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Booo, Wendy, boo.
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Boo, Wendy.
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The vast majority of refugees from Syria
are likely to meet refugees
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boo Wendy Testaburger, boo.
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Boo, Wendy.
Liar.
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Instead of boooing my opinion
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why don't you make
a constructive argument.
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I'm not booing your opinion,
I'm booing your report topic.
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No one even knows what a refugee is.
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Booo. Booo.
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Mr. Garrison can you do
something about this, please?
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Mr. Garrison.
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Sorry, Wendy.
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Nicely done.
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Thank you.
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Next report let's have Peter Mullen.
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Ugh, jesus.
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My report is on the vial
and despicable trash
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that our parents are watching
on television.
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Fellow students, there's a plague
of smut on our cable boxes.
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Shows that figure reenactments
of unsolved crimes
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and spousal homicide.
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I'm talking of course
about murder porn.
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Murder porn?
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That's more like it.
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According to the Neilson ratings
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viewership in shows
like Cold Case Files,
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Date Line Murder
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and Deadly Affairs is sky rocketing
among married couples.
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The increased viewership has brought about a
whole new slew of shows that use graphic sex
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and innuendo to make spousal murder
more titillating
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shows like Southern Fried Homicide,
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Sinful Secret and
On The Case With Paula Zahn
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and it's all smut
and garbage and it's trash!
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Your parents are watching this stuff.
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Go home and ask them.
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And as we ask them
we must ask ourselves
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if they're obsessed with
this stuff then how long.
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How long before one of
our daddy's dressed up in lingerie
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and bashes mommy's
head in with a brick?
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Oh, crap!
Who could that be?
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It's probably fucking Stan.
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Hang a second, bud.
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Come on in.
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Hey, Stan, what's up.
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His wife is having
sex with the neighbor
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and when her husband comes home
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he wants more than just a divorce.
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You guys are watching murder porn?
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Murder porn?
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Stan, this is just
an investigative crime show.
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Adults like documentaries.
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Yeah, Stan. These are based
on real things like news.
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It's informative. Parents
like informative stuff.
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Okay.
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Oh, we missed the murder?
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Did he cut them up?
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What's up, dude?
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Dude, you know Aaron Hagan?
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Yeah, the first-grader?
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You should come down to his house.
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His dad just killed his mom.
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What?
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Hey, that kid should
not be seeing this.
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What happened?
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You're making a mistake. Let me go.
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It wasn't me I tell you.
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A burglar broke in.
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He was black.
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He's the one who stabbed
that nagging bitch in her fat face.
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He was black!
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Guys, guys,
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I know we're all concerned
but we have to work together.
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How is this stuff allowed
to stay on the air?
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The police found
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hours and hours of murder
porn on the Hagan's DVR.
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What more prove do we need?
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I called them about
the smut out there
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and they told me if I didn't
want my parents watching
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then I should spend
more time with them.
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Like it's my fault.
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It's the result of a broken society
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in which profit comes before morals.
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Booo.
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Booo, Wendy Testaburger, booo.
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I know we feel our hands are tied
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but we can do something about this.
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There's an app to allow
kids to block things
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their parents watch on television
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and it's password protect
will with a security code
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that only a child would know.
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Tonight at 10:00 it's the tale
of love and seduction and murder
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on sexy betrayals.
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Then at 7, some like their murder
with a side of sexy ****
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on Southern Fried Homicide.
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But now get ready for lust,
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betrayal and murder on
Hot Load Case Files.
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Oh, yeah, three of
the best shows in a row.
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Is the lube over there?
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It's over here.
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Get over here, big guy.
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Yeah.
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What the... what the hell?
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Yeah, hi.
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We aren't getting
our informative murder porn.
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No, none of the channels
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with informative murder
porn appear to be working.
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The screen says how do you
tame a horse in Minecraft.
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Yes, we do have children.
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A what?
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A parental lock?
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Stan!
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Stan!
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How do you tame a horse in Minecraft?
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What?
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What is Minecraft and how
do you tame a horse in it.
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You guys don't need to
be watching that stuff.
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Come on, you can't
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block your parents from watching
informative murder porn.
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Think if we watch shows about
married people killing each other
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we'll do it?
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That's stupid.
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I'm not going to go
out and kill your mom
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because I watch
investigative discovery.
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It'd be impossible to clear
all the DNA evidence anyway.
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I'd have to kill
the person I hired too
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because 99% of the time they tell.
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I thought this through a lot.
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Stan?
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You're a lousy kid I wish
Jaden Smith was my son!
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Who do our children think
they are blocking our TV content.
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How are they able to do
this with their smartphones.
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It's all right.
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They think they outsmarted out but we
are the ones paying the cable company.
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Can they remove it?
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No, they did the usual
cable company runaround.
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We'll see about this.
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Excuse me,
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our content is being
blocked and we need it now.
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Sorry, sir, if you need it now
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perhaps you should switch
to another cable company.
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Oh, there's not another
cable company is there?
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That's right,
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we're the only one in town.
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Look, if our kids can block content
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then you must be able to block them.
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As we told the other
sir we can fix it
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but we just need to send
a technician to your house
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to change out the cable box.
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Great.
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We just need a window
of time you can be home
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how about between 6:00 A.M.
to 3:00 P.M.
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all of November.
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No, I can't wait around my house
from 6:00 am to 3pm all of November.
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Oh, you can't?
Jeez, that's too bad.
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You have to be home
for the technician.
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Can you go to Direct TV?
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I can't afford Direct TV.
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Oh, you can't?
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Geez, that's terrible.
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I guess have you to work
within our time windows.
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Well, any luck?
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No, just the usual
cable company stuff.
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Oh, well, I guess we'll
have to live without
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our informative crime dramas.
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Screw that.
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Can we learn this Minecraft game
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to get around
our kid's parental lock.
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I tried.
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It's unlike other video games
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I don't get it
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it's all retro like legos
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and kids online called me
a grifer and kicked me off.
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We can learn.
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There's talk of a child
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that he'll teach Minecraft to
anybody for the right price.
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Hello?
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Hi. Cory Lanskin?
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00:08:54,070 --> 00:08:54,954
Yes.
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We heard that you're willing
to teach Minecraft to adults?
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Fuck off!
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We were told you're available
for hire and we're desperate.
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You are still wrong, misser.
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I'm a simple kit with a simple
passion for simple things.
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We have 100 ounces of silver.
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Wipe your feet and turn
off your cell phones.
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Now, we're going to
select an empty world.
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Selecting an empty world
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will begin you being
dropped onto a beach.
196
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Now you're free to roam around
and start punching trees.
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Punching trees?
198
00:09:39,326 --> 00:09:40,773
Why would we punch trees?
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Just use your fucking brain.
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How do you get wood?
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00:09:44,346 --> 00:09:45,985
How do you get wood?
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Watching informative murder porn?
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00:09:47,784 --> 00:09:50,889
No, in the Minecraft forest
how do you get wood?
204
00:09:51,585 --> 00:09:52,969
Punching trees?
205
00:09:53,094 --> 00:09:54,159
Right.
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00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,951
You punch the tree to get the wood.
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00:09:55,952 --> 00:09:57,836
You get the wood to build the cabin.
208
00:09:58,101 --> 00:09:59,113
Oh, I see.
209
00:09:59,357 --> 00:10:00,730
When does the game start?
210
00:10:00,731 --> 00:10:02,023
You are playing the game.
211
00:10:02,024 --> 00:10:03,167
This is the game.
212
00:10:04,394 --> 00:10:05,368
I don't get it.
213
00:10:05,369 --> 00:10:07,701
That's because your think like a dad.
214
00:10:07,752 --> 00:10:09,905
Minecraft don't have no winner.
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00:10:09,906 --> 00:10:11,426
No objective
216
00:10:11,434 --> 00:10:13,142
you're just fucking building shit
217
00:10:13,143 --> 00:10:15,033
and seeing if other things
can come and knock it down.
218
00:10:15,697 --> 00:10:19,619
Now, let's click on the inventory
and build a ****.
219
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,573
Yeah, sir, I'm getting it now.
220
00:10:21,698 --> 00:10:22,954
- You are?
- No!
221
00:10:30,277 --> 00:10:31,666
Randy, it's getting late.
222
00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:32,940
Let's just go to sleep.
223
00:10:33,476 --> 00:10:34,807
I almost got it Sharon
224
00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:36,042
I found out where the horse is now
225
00:10:36,043 --> 00:10:37,518
I just have to figure
out how to tame one.
226
00:10:37,519 --> 00:10:39,675
I'm not in the mood now anyway.
227
00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:41,959
I miss being intimate with you.
228
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,510
Everything was so passionate
and then it just dropped off.
229
00:10:44,635 --> 00:10:46,369
I feel like we're loosing our bond.
230
00:10:46,990 --> 00:10:49,947
We don't have to have sex for
our relationship to be good.
231
00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:52,789
I know but it's like
we're just good friends.
232
00:10:52,790 --> 00:10:54,840
A marriage has to be more than that.
233
00:10:55,126 --> 00:10:58,671
It has to have fulfillment of
fantasy and desire sometimes.
234
00:10:58,672 --> 00:11:01,034
Magnacube? What the hell is that?
235
00:11:01,732 --> 00:11:03,206
I'm going to sleep.
236
00:11:03,703 --> 00:11:05,881
I'll wake you up if we get
our murder porn back.
237
00:11:11,836 --> 00:11:12,703
There he is.
238
00:11:12,704 --> 00:11:14,903
Hey Kyle,
the parental lock isn't working.
239
00:11:14,904 --> 00:11:16,785
Our parents are still
watching murder important.
240
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:18,642
How do you know?
241
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:21,656
I caught my parents watching it.
242
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:23,953
**** **** **** ****
from the cable company.
243
00:11:24,078 --> 00:11:27,377
It's true. I walked in on
my parents watching **** ****.
244
00:11:27,502 --> 00:11:29,269
They broke the parental lock somehow.
245
00:11:29,624 --> 00:11:30,275
That's impossible.
246
00:11:30,276 --> 00:11:31,832
Are you guys sure
you set it up right?
247
00:11:31,833 --> 00:11:34,343
Guys?
Better get over here.
248
00:11:35,223 --> 00:11:36,802
Butter's dad killed his mom.
249
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:42,605
Butter, what happened?
250
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:46,701
I was out by the lake and I saw
my dad out in this field.
251
00:11:46,702 --> 00:11:48,238
He was holding sugar cane.
252
00:11:48,239 --> 00:11:51,452
It didn't make sense
because he had a hammer.
253
00:11:51,507 --> 00:11:54,024
I saw him take my mom
254
00:11:54,025 --> 00:11:57,223
and yelled watch out for the creepers
255
00:11:57,224 --> 00:11:58,638
but she fell.
256
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,532
Wait. You mean in Minecraft?
257
00:12:02,533 --> 00:12:07,590
Yeah, then my dad went berserk
and threw me down a well.
258
00:12:08,273 --> 00:12:10,859
I was trapped down there all night.
259
00:12:11,716 --> 00:12:13,727
Your dad threw you down a well?
260
00:12:13,728 --> 00:12:14,791
In Minecraft.
261
00:12:14,792 --> 00:12:15,949
What the hell is that?
262
00:12:17,232 --> 00:12:18,566
I was able to hoist myself out.
263
00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:21,308
It was like I was frozen in the lake
264
00:12:21,337 --> 00:12:23,273
he had no idea how to swim out of it.
265
00:12:23,274 --> 00:12:25,741
It was terrible.
266
00:12:25,742 --> 00:12:26,745
That's it.
267
00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:28,978
That's how our parents
broke the pass code.
268
00:12:29,551 --> 00:12:31,647
I never thought anyone
would stoop so low.
269
00:12:32,192 --> 00:12:33,135
What do you mean?
270
00:12:33,198 --> 00:12:35,385
Somebody's teaching
our parents Minecraft.
271
00:12:41,989 --> 00:12:44,029
Hello sir.
Had an incident last night.
272
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:45,682
Wonder if you saw or heard anything?
273
00:12:46,434 --> 00:12:47,772
No, what happened?
274
00:12:47,773 --> 00:12:50,352
Someone broke into your next
door neighbor's backyard
275
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:53,148
dug up a bunch of holes
and punched his trees.
276
00:12:53,964 --> 00:12:55,310
Punched his trees?
277
00:12:55,321 --> 00:12:59,271
Yes, across the street,
someone built a cabin.
278
00:13:00,178 --> 00:13:01,698
That's weird.
279
00:13:01,857 --> 00:13:03,356
What were you doing last night?
280
00:13:03,481 --> 00:13:07,293
I was just playing mine... my banjo.
281
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:09,776
I play the banjo too.
282
00:13:10,303 --> 00:13:11,741
Well, thanks for your time, sir.
283
00:13:11,742 --> 00:13:13,852
You may want to keep
the lights on in your yard tonight
284
00:13:13,853 --> 00:13:16,336
in case someone tries to
build a cabin on it as well.
285
00:13:16,461 --> 00:13:17,925
Will do, officer. Will do.
286
00:13:21,026 --> 00:13:21,946
Calm down.
287
00:13:22,031 --> 00:13:23,729
I know we're all concerned.
288
00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:24,602
Concerned?
289
00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:26,072
Thanks to you and your stupid app
290
00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:27,572
parents are still
watching murder porn
291
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:29,508
and now screwing up Minecraft too.
292
00:13:30,999 --> 00:13:32,802
I spent three hours
293
00:13:32,803 --> 00:13:35,120
trying to get my parents
to stop create my castle.
294
00:13:35,245 --> 00:13:36,781
When I finally got away from them,
295
00:13:36,906 --> 00:13:39,026
I found they were taking all my ****.
296
00:13:39,192 --> 00:13:40,862
Why did we agree to the stupid app?
297
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:44,784
We're trying to keep our parents
from watching murder porn.
298
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,019
Why?
299
00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:48,805
Because one kid's dad killed his mom?
300
00:13:48,806 --> 00:13:52,523
For all we know they were
doing drugs for year.
301
00:13:52,524 --> 00:13:54,712
Maybe murder porn had
nothing to do with it.
302
00:13:55,804 --> 00:13:57,151
I agree with Cartman.
303
00:13:57,276 --> 00:13:58,785
Maybe we overreacted when...
304
00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:02,424
Booo, Wendy, booo.
305
00:14:03,312 --> 00:14:04,225
It's true.
306
00:14:04,226 --> 00:14:07,484
Maybe we need to trust our parents
won't act out what they see.
307
00:14:08,794 --> 00:14:10,483
That's enough.
308
00:14:10,522 --> 00:14:12,695
Come on out and there
won't be any trouble.
309
00:14:16,141 --> 00:14:17,639
Give it up.
310
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,083
You have nowhere to run.
311
00:14:19,388 --> 00:14:20,389
Huh?
312
00:14:20,836 --> 00:14:22,345
I'll never give up.
313
00:14:23,189 --> 00:14:25,055
I don't even remember doing this.
314
00:14:25,056 --> 00:14:26,714
Just leave me alone.
315
00:14:27,657 --> 00:14:29,124
Nice one.
316
00:14:29,233 --> 00:14:31,574
Your castle fucking sucks.
317
00:14:31,699 --> 00:14:33,956
Go to hell you grifer.
318
00:14:34,828 --> 00:14:36,282
All right. We have to do something.
319
00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:40,955
Hello?
320
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,353
Cory Lanskin?
321
00:14:42,475 --> 00:14:43,470
Yes.
322
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:46,082
We heard you might be
teaching Minecraft to adults.
323
00:14:47,755 --> 00:14:51,260
Whassa Minecraft?
324
00:14:52,551 --> 00:14:53,802
We're trying to keep our parents
325
00:14:53,803 --> 00:14:55,390
away from graphic television shows.
326
00:14:55,391 --> 00:14:57,139
It could be a matter
of life and death.
327
00:14:57,262 --> 00:14:59,171
Don't be angry.
328
00:14:59,172 --> 00:15:00,714
My mommy always angry.
329
00:15:00,715 --> 00:15:02,064
Get back in the meat locker.
330
00:15:02,189 --> 00:15:04,206
Ouchie, ouchie!
Mommy rape my no-no.
331
00:15:04,647 --> 00:15:05,864
She loves me, right?
332
00:15:05,865 --> 00:15:06,893
Mommy loves me?
333
00:15:06,894 --> 00:15:10,037
I guess we have the wrong house, kid.
334
00:15:10,038 --> 00:15:11,232
Okay.
335
00:15:11,699 --> 00:15:12,700
Bye.
336
00:15:20,864 --> 00:15:21,738
What, dude?
337
00:15:21,739 --> 00:15:22,951
Something he said.
338
00:15:23,304 --> 00:15:24,340
Did you hear him?
339
00:15:24,372 --> 00:15:27,704
He said ouchie,
ouchie mommy rape my no-no.
340
00:15:29,030 --> 00:15:31,017
If I'd be caught lying
341
00:15:31,142 --> 00:15:32,954
that's exactly what
I would have said.
342
00:15:34,820 --> 00:15:36,527
Now that you built a workbench
343
00:15:36,528 --> 00:15:39,837
it's time to build something to
take care of those fucking sheep.
344
00:15:39,838 --> 00:15:42,732
Stop using your grown
up brains and start...
345
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:44,515
Aha!
346
00:15:46,285 --> 00:15:47,347
Son of a bitch.
347
00:15:47,622 --> 00:15:48,840
Don't you think there
are enough grifers
348
00:15:48,841 --> 00:15:50,897
in the world without
our parents being shown this stuff.
349
00:15:50,924 --> 00:15:52,873
A kid needs to make a living,
don't he?
350
00:15:52,998 --> 00:15:54,803
You have no idea what this is about,
do you?
351
00:15:55,058 --> 00:15:56,643
We were using Minecraft
to block our parents
352
00:15:56,644 --> 00:15:58,773
from watching spousal homicide shows.
353
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,676
Like Investigative Discovery?
354
00:16:00,801 --> 00:16:01,802
So, you know it?
355
00:16:02,126 --> 00:16:03,397
You have seen this stuff?
356
00:16:03,398 --> 00:16:06,458
****.
357
00:16:06,583 --> 00:16:07,708
Real sick shit.
358
00:16:07,709 --> 00:16:09,227
Your parents watch that stuff?
359
00:16:09,228 --> 00:16:12,220
We put a stop to it
until you taught them Minecraft.
360
00:16:12,345 --> 00:16:13,816
Your problem ain't with me, mate.
361
00:16:13,941 --> 00:16:17,766
Sure, one or two people might act out what
they see in video games, but cable television?
362
00:16:19,924 --> 00:16:22,565
People copy everything
they see people do on cable.
363
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:24,634
You got this all wrong.
364
00:16:25,037 --> 00:16:26,138
You wants to protect your family,
365
00:16:26,718 --> 00:16:28,654
you'll have to go fight
the cable company.
366
00:16:35,359 --> 00:16:36,804
Hey, guys. Can I help you?
367
00:16:37,232 --> 00:16:38,022
Hello.
368
00:16:38,023 --> 00:16:40,538
There are certain networks
we see as harmful to our families
369
00:16:40,539 --> 00:16:42,777
and we want them removed, please?
370
00:16:43,105 --> 00:16:44,947
You don't want cable any more?
371
00:16:45,031 --> 00:16:46,777
No,no,just I.D. Network,
372
00:16:46,778 --> 00:16:49,077
A&E, Oxygen and Oprah's network.
373
00:16:49,078 --> 00:16:50,535
All the ones with murder porn.
374
00:16:50,536 --> 00:16:52,815
You don't like paying
for all the channels?
375
00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:55,932
Our company actually
packages channels together.
376
00:16:56,710 --> 00:16:57,882
Can you unpackage them
so we only get the channels we want?
377
00:16:59,596 --> 00:17:02,244
Oh, I'm sorry.
Our company doesn't work that way.
378
00:17:02,245 --> 00:17:03,318
You want me to give you the number
379
00:17:03,319 --> 00:17:05,308
of a different cable company... oh,
380
00:17:05,309 --> 00:17:07,446
wait, we're it, aren't we?
381
00:17:08,354 --> 00:17:09,200
Dang it.
382
00:17:09,201 --> 00:17:11,184
Guess you have to deal
with our packages.
383
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,936
Can we talk to your supervisor,
please?
384
00:17:14,061 --> 00:17:16,189
Oh, sure.
Hey, David.
385
00:17:16,605 --> 00:17:18,080
Is there a problem here?
386
00:17:20,187 --> 00:17:22,647
We want specific networks
dropped from our cable.
387
00:17:22,772 --> 00:17:24,642
You have to pay for the bundle
388
00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:27,711
you can't just pay for what you watch.
Darn it!
389
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,566
You mean we're forced to
pay for the Oprah channel?
390
00:17:30,629 --> 00:17:35,180
I guess if you don't want to be forced to pay for
Oprah you'd have to shut off your cable altogether.
391
00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:37,445
Fine, then we'll shut
off our cable altogether.
392
00:17:37,446 --> 00:17:40,559
Mitch, when can you get out
to shut off cable boxes?
393
00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:43,716
Oh, man.
It's gonna be like three weeks.
394
00:17:43,717 --> 00:17:45,464
There's a whole plug
I have to pull out.
395
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,358
It's like four inches long.
396
00:17:47,646 --> 00:17:48,741
Three weeks, huh?
397
00:17:48,742 --> 00:17:51,591
Is that okay with you guys?
398
00:17:51,646 --> 00:17:52,947
No, that's way too long.
399
00:17:53,184 --> 00:17:56,881
- Oh, it is?
- Geez, that's terrible.
400
00:17:57,408 --> 00:18:00,246
Goddamnit I just don't want
my parents to murder each other.
401
00:18:01,855 --> 00:18:04,643
Can't you see we're just trying
to keep our families safe.
402
00:18:04,768 --> 00:18:06,700
I don't know if seeing
couples murder each other
403
00:18:06,701 --> 00:18:08,838
on television will
make our parents do it
404
00:18:09,163 --> 00:18:10,860
and we probably can't
stop them from watching
405
00:18:10,861 --> 00:18:12,083
what they want to watch.
406
00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:14,766
We're just trying to
make it more difficult
407
00:18:14,767 --> 00:18:16,513
because cable makes it so convenient.
408
00:18:17,088 --> 00:18:20,212
If they didn't have easy
access they'd be bummed out
409
00:18:20,213 --> 00:18:21,946
but it's not
our responsibility to give them
410
00:18:21,947 --> 00:18:23,627
what they want, is it?
411
00:18:26,504 --> 00:18:28,583
Hey, say the last part again?
412
00:18:28,584 --> 00:18:29,258
What?
413
00:18:29,259 --> 00:18:30,724
What was the last part you said?
414
00:18:30,725 --> 00:18:32,772
I said it's not our responsibility
to give them what they want.
415
00:18:32,897 --> 00:18:35,345
The part about your parents got
getting the channels easily.
416
00:18:36,046 --> 00:18:38,202
I said it would bum them out.
417
00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:41,854
How much would it bum them out?
418
00:18:43,679 --> 00:18:44,458
Ladies and gentlemen,
419
00:18:44,459 --> 00:18:46,167
please Stand by for
an important message
420
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,377
from the president of
your cable company.
421
00:18:48,792 --> 00:18:49,796
Hello.
422
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:53,468
In an effort to comfort the anguished
cries of children everywhere
423
00:18:53,593 --> 00:18:56,356
your local cable company
has decided to drop
424
00:18:56,481 --> 00:18:58,804
all networks
that **** spousal homicides
425
00:18:58,970 --> 00:19:00,649
from regular programming.
426
00:19:00,774 --> 00:19:03,423
Customers still wishing to
view true crime networks
427
00:19:03,424 --> 00:19:06,007
will have to purchase
a separate package
428
00:19:06,592 --> 00:19:09,993
which will require a technician
to service your cablebox every night
429
00:19:10,118 --> 00:19:12,025
2:00 to 3:00 am and must include
430
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:15,127
the purchase of 300
channels in Portuguese.
431
00:19:15,183 --> 00:19:17,702
We realize it may be
an inconvenience to you
432
00:19:17,999 --> 00:19:21,000
and we hope you'll voice
all your concerns to us
433
00:19:21,112 --> 00:19:26,089
because at your local cable company
the customer is always our bitch.
434
00:19:32,207 --> 00:19:34,831
Jaden Smith lets his parents
do whatever they want.
435
00:19:36,655 --> 00:19:37,368
You know what,
436
00:19:37,369 --> 00:19:39,817
the guys at work took a bet
on who would win in a fight
437
00:19:39,818 --> 00:19:41,884
you or Jaden Smith
and they said jadensmith.
438
00:19:41,885 --> 00:19:43,076
He can kick your ass.
439
00:19:43,410 --> 00:19:47,184
He does movies and he can sing,
and he's totally cool to his parents.
440
00:19:47,578 --> 00:19:49,600
Then maybe you should go
live with Jaden Smith, dad.
441
00:19:49,725 --> 00:19:51,099
I wish I could!
442
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:53,575
I wish I could with
him so I'd be rich.
443
00:19:53,576 --> 00:19:55,768
I wouldn't have to live in
a boring sexless marriage
444
00:19:55,769 --> 00:19:58,626
where all we do is
piss each other off.
445
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:01,466
Oh, crap.
446
00:20:03,756 --> 00:20:05,361
Sharon, I'm sorry.
447
00:20:05,445 --> 00:20:07,126
No, you're right, Randy.
448
00:20:07,127 --> 00:20:09,874
Without any sex we just seem
to get madder and madder at each other.
449
00:20:10,270 --> 00:20:11,918
No, you're right, Sharon.
450
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:15,595
We don't need murder porn to
find passion in our marriage.
451
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,565
We just have to get the spark back.
452
00:20:17,690 --> 00:20:19,841
Let's go away somewhere, me and you.
453
00:20:19,966 --> 00:20:23,225
Somewhere exciting and beautiful
where we can just focus on us.
454
00:20:31,874 --> 00:20:32,875
Sharon?
455
00:20:33,339 --> 00:20:35,413
Hey, sharon, are you here?
456
00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:36,688
I'm here, Randy.
457
00:20:36,813 --> 00:20:39,061
It's beautiful,
isn't it come over here.
458
00:20:39,062 --> 00:20:40,393
I built us a fire.
459
00:20:40,518 --> 00:20:41,754
Look what I got you.
460
00:20:41,778 --> 00:20:42,803
Diamonds.
461
00:20:42,804 --> 00:20:44,027
They're beautiful.
462
00:20:44,704 --> 00:20:48,112
Thought I'd surprise you
and there's more where that came from.
463
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:50,312
I have a surprise too, Randy.
464
00:20:50,427 --> 00:20:51,934
Oh, yeah, what's that?
465
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:58,468
Sharon what the effing fuck was that?
466
00:20:58,469 --> 00:21:00,614
Sorry, couldn't resist.
467
00:21:00,615 --> 00:21:02,961
Jesus, you stuck a pickax in my skull.
468
00:21:03,086 --> 00:21:05,681
Oh, I did!
That felt really great.
469
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:07,468
- Felt great?
- Yeah!
470
00:21:07,593 --> 00:21:09,693
Well, hold on, stay by the lake.
I wanna kill you know.
471
00:21:09,818 --> 00:21:10,603
Okay.
472
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,943
Oh, my God. You put
that sword right through my face!
473
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:19,831
That felt so good!
474
00:21:19,956 --> 00:21:21,521
- My turn again.
- Okay, hang on.
475
00:21:21,646 --> 00:21:24,070
I've always thought about
murdering you in your sleep.
476
00:21:24,195 --> 00:21:25,868
Can you go the cabin and get in bed?
477
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,042
Yeah, OK.
I'm in there now.
478
00:21:27,534 --> 00:21:30,239
You lazy jerk!
You never do anything around the house!
479
00:21:31,394 --> 00:21:32,619
You bitch!
480
00:21:33,450 --> 00:21:36,295
- Oh, I love you, Randy.
- I love you too, babe.
481
00:21:36,845 --> 00:21:40,493
Synced by yyets - Corrections by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com