1 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,388 I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time. 2 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015 Friendly faces everywhere. 3 00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599 Humble folks without temptation. 4 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853 Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind. 5 00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521 Ample parking day or night. 6 00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398 People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" 7 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,401 Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind. 8 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! 9 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242 Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine. 10 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,621 G'rlkr. 11 00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:26,796 B'rk! 12 00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,473 G'rk! 13 00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:42,102 Yes? 14 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,854 Hello, ma'am. 15 00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:46,774 We're going around town and offering snow-shoveling service. 16 00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:48,984 Would you like your driveway and sidewalk shoveled 17 00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,861 for $8,000? 18 00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:53,298 Oh. Well, I certainly could use some little snow shovelers. 19 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:55,366 But $8,000 seems a little steep. 20 00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:57,076 How about $10? 21 00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,369 Ma'am, please. 22 00:01:58,494 --> 00:02:00,334 Let go of that tight grip you have on my balls. 23 00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:02,123 $10. You're breaking my balls, ma'am. 24 00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:04,375 - How about $15? - It's a deal. 25 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,669 All right, guys. Let's get to work! 26 00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:13,050 Yeah. Yeah. It was totally awesome. 27 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,885 Craig crapped his pants when he saw it. 28 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,262 Yeah. Sweet. 29 00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:18,389 So, what's going on over there? 30 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:20,474 Yeah. That's pretty cool. 31 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,560 No way! He did not! 32 00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:25,437 Aw, dude, that is so weak. 33 00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:26,605 What? 34 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,625 You've been on your fucking phone since we started. 35 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:29,733 Dude, I'm taking a break. 36 00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:31,628 A break from what?! You haven't done anything! 37 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,588 Kyle, how many times do we have to go through this? 38 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:34,612 I'm the negotiator. 39 00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:36,297 I negotiate our price with the customers. 40 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,117 All you ever do is talk about your balls! 41 00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:39,242 It works, doesn't it? 42 00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:40,846 Did I not just get us an extra five bucks? 43 00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,222 If you want your share of the money, 44 00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:44,099 then you're gonna shovel snow like the rest of us! 45 00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:46,167 Hey, don't boss me around, you fucking Jew! 46 00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:47,877 I will kick your ass! 47 00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:54,842 Ma'am, do you have a rag and some bandages? 48 00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,635 Oh, goodness. What happened? 49 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,345 Shoveling accident. 50 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,514 Oh, no. Come on inside. 51 00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:04,435 Wait right here. I'll be right back. 52 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,188 You're so lucky I have a sore shoulder, Kyle, 53 00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:08,753 or else I would have let you have it. 54 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,357 Cartman, just keep your mouth shut. 55 00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:11,734 This is breaking news. 56 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,360 Here's anchorman Aaron Brown. 57 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,988 Incredible, absolutely amazing news today. 58 00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:18,908 A man from the future has come back in time 59 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:22,036 and is in a government hospital after being hit by a car. 60 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,539 Kristina Nalen has more. 61 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,916 The news is incredible, Aaron. 62 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,334 Experts and scientists have been 63 00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,419 with the man from the future for several hours now 64 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,547 and have been able to learn that he is from the year 3045. 65 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:34,798 His condition is stable, 66 00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:37,301 and speculation continues as to why he has come. 67 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,428 Has he come to deliver a cure for cancer 68 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,555 or to fix something wrong with the past? 69 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,224 Have to interrupt you there, Kristina. 70 00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:44,975 Apparently Brad Morgan is inside the base 71 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,310 with breaking news... Brad? 72 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,938 Aaron, the scientists have been able to communicate further 73 00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:50,064 and have uncovered 74 00:03:50,189 --> 00:03:52,066 that the man from 1,000 years in the future 75 00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,652 has come to our time looking for work. 76 00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:56,237 He has said that the future 77 00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:58,113 is so overwhelmingly overpopulated 78 00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,407 that there are simply no jobs in his time, 79 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:01,867 and so he built a time portal 80 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,078 and has come back to 21st-century America 81 00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:05,203 to find a job here. 82 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,664 That is absolutely astounding. 83 00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:07,957 He came back here for work? 84 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,625 Uh, that's right, Aaron. 85 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,919 His plan is to get a job here in our time 86 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,921 so that he can put the money he earns 87 00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:16,423 into a savings account, which will earn interest, 88 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:19,551 and by the year 3045 be worth billions of dollars... 89 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:21,053 Which, of course, in the future 90 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,930 will be worth only hundreds of dollars, 91 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,848 but enough, he says, to feed his family. 92 00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:26,100 And now I understand 93 00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:28,105 we're going to Harrison Moore for an explanation 94 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,785 on how the time portal works... Harrison? 95 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:32,147 Aaron, I am standing at the time portal 96 00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:35,234 which scientists say follows "Terminator" rules... 97 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,778 That is, it's one-way only, and you can't go back. 98 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,948 This is in contrast to, say, "Back to the Future" rules, 99 00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,616 where back and forth is possible, 100 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,285 and of course, "Timerider" rules, 101 00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:45,703 which are just plain silly. 102 00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:47,955 Anyway, it appears that the man from the future 103 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,415 is here to stay. 104 00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:52,584 Mom! Dad! Did you see? 105 00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:54,169 They found a man from the future! 106 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,963 We know, Stanley. We've been watching. 107 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:58,173 If you're just joining us, 108 00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,050 a man from over 2,000 years into the future 109 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,428 has come through a one-way time portal looking for work. 110 00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:03,804 Uh, the president is expected 111 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,431 to give an announcement at any time. 112 00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:07,391 Breaking news here at the time portal, Aaron. 113 00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:11,020 It appears another person from the future has just arrived! 114 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,730 It looks as if the job at Wendy's 115 00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,523 did work for the original immigrant. 116 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,650 This second arrivee claims that man's family 117 00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:17,818 is now much better off 118 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:19,862 and wishes the same for his family. 119 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,992 There you go. All set, sweetie? 120 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:27,328 Mom, can we go try to see the people from the future? 121 00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:29,496 I have a bunch of questions I want to ask them. 122 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,123 I'm sure a lot of people do, hon. 123 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,666 It's pretty exciting, isn't it? 124 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,002 Now, you just get some sleep. You've had a busy day. 125 00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,712 Good night, sweetie. 126 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,423 Night, Mom. 127 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,842 Two people from the future. 128 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,761 How cool. 129 00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,818 G'lr. 130 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,528 G'gr g'rhr. 131 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,031 G'lr. Gr. 132 00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:18,379 - Yes? - Hello, Mrs. Landis. 133 00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:20,357 Would you like snow-shoveling service again today? 134 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:21,673 Ooh. Oh, dear. 135 00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:22,883 I'm sorry, boys, 136 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,927 but I've already hired someone else to do it. 137 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,220 What?! Who?! 138 00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:27,905 One of those immigrants from the future. 139 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,890 He said he would do it for 25 cents. 140 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,726 25 cents? But that's not even worth it! 141 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,479 All right, guys. Come on. We'll just go to the next house. 142 00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:37,648 Dude. 143 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:44,530 Son of a bitch. 144 00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,323 Still more immigrants from the future 145 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:47,908 arrived at the time border today, 146 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,910 some even bringing their entire families. 147 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,079 The purplish goo that they have on their bodies 148 00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:54,206 when they arrive is an ectoplasmic side effect 149 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,582 of the time-travel process. 150 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,835 This is all giving scientists a great opportunity 151 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,254 to learn even more about American life in the future. 152 00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:01,797 Chris Hall joins us now. Chris? 153 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,924 Yes, there are incredible things we're learning 154 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,801 about Americans in the future, Aaron. 155 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,929 It appears that in the future Americans have evolved 156 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,932 into a hairless, uniform mix of all races. 157 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,225 They are all one color, 158 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,311 which is a yellowy, light-brownish, whitish color. 159 00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:18,939 It seems race is no longer an issue in the future 160 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,567 because all ethnicities have mixed into one. 161 00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:22,818 Perhaps most interesting 162 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,945 is how this has affected their language. 163 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,322 The people in the future speak a complete mix 164 00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,283 of English, Chinese, Turkish, 165 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:30,868 and, indeed, all world languages, 166 00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:32,536 which sounds something like this... 167 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,621 Foik flank'en fark. 168 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,914 Back to you, Aaron. 169 00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,624 Apparently, the people from the future 170 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,543 are having a pretty easy time finding work. 171 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,503 Since they offer to work for such low wages, 172 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,964 they're being hired all over America. 173 00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,591 This is bullcrap! 174 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,444 - We don't like this! - I ain't standin' for this! 175 00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,635 I'm mad as hell! 176 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,480 All right, folks, my name is Daryl Weathers, 177 00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:52,723 and I'm with the construction workers union. 178 00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:56,185 I work with a lot of fine men who have families to feed. 179 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,311 I don't know about y'all, 180 00:07:57,436 --> 00:08:00,063 but we worked long and hard to get our pay up to a level 181 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,857 where we could make a decent living. 182 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:05,027 And now these people from the future are showing up 183 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,988 and offering to do the same work for next to nothin'! 184 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,948 They took our jobs! 185 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,492 Yeah! 186 00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:12,951 - They sure did! - They did! 187 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,495 We're in the moving business. 188 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,997 Fourteen years we been working our butts off. 189 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:20,167 Now these future folk come in, and we can't get work nowhere! 190 00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:21,668 Well, they took our jobs! 191 00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,170 They took yer job! 192 00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:24,898 - They took your jobs, too! - Took yer job! 193 00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,965 What about us in the fast-food business? 194 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,634 The restaurants are firing us 195 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,178 'cause the future people work for a lot less. 196 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,388 They took our jobs! 197 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,283 - They took their jobs! - They took their jobs! 198 00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:37,184 - They took yer job! - Took yer jobs! 199 00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,810 It's affecting kids, too. 200 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,914 Me and my friends started our own snow-shoveling business. 201 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:43,082 We were trying to be responsible and make money, you know? 202 00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,834 But then the people from the future came along, 203 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,818 and now we're out of work, too! 204 00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,155 They took our jobs! 205 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,908 - They took yer job! - They took yer job! 206 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,160 - Yeah! - Dook yer durrr! 207 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,015 Gl'r gl'r g'r g'rg. 208 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:28,527 Stanley, it's almost 8:00. Where have you been? 209 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:30,452 I was at a rally to protest all the immigrants 210 00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:31,923 from the future coming in and trying... 211 00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:32,823 Glrk'a? 212 00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:35,028 Oh, yes, the laundry machine is down in the basement. 213 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,512 And our son is home. Could you please set the table for dinner? 214 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,371 G'oh. G'up r'up! 215 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,622 Who is that? 216 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,499 That's our new housekeeper, Mrs. Gw'arh. 217 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,127 She's gonna help around the house on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 218 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,212 And she'll do it for 10 cents an hour. 219 00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:48,422 Aw, but that's the problem. 220 00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:50,465 Those goobacks are takin' our jobs! 221 00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,509 - What?! - Oh, my God! 222 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,846 Stan Marsh, how dare you use that time-bashing slur?! 223 00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:57,681 Who taught you to talk like that? 224 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,808 Well, dude, they a re taking people's jobs away. 225 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,810 They're only taking the small, menial jobs 226 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,562 that nobody else really wants to do. 227 00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:05,063 I wanted my job! 228 00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:07,482 Hey, Stanley, you need to understand something. 229 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,776 Those people from the future have had a hard life. 230 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:12,863 Where they come from is dirty and overpopulated and poor. 231 00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:15,657 You can't even imagine the kind of depression they come from. 232 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,576 So for us, who have everything so good, 233 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,910 to judge them is wrong. 234 00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,036 Do you understand? 235 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,706 Next time you think about calling them goobacks, 236 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,350 you might want to just stop for a second 237 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,144 and think about how crappy the future really is. 238 00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:27,168 That's right. 239 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,546 We're not raising our son to be an ignorant timecist. 240 00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:30,672 T-Timecist? 241 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,317 You know... a racist, but against people from... 242 00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,884 People from the future. Right. Got it. 243 00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,009 All right. Good. 244 00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:35,927 Now let's all go eat 245 00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:38,722 some of Mrs. Gw'arh's great future cooking. 246 00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:42,392 And now here is Bill O'Reilly. 247 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,062 Welcome, welcome to the No Spin Zone, all right? 248 00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:46,521 And what we're talking about today 249 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:49,232 are the immigrants from the future, all right? 250 00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,526 Most people are more than happy to give a helping hand 251 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,654 to these people who obviously need it, all right? 252 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,280 But others are starting to say 253 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:58,325 that the time portal should be closed off, all right? 254 00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:00,010 Now, I've got two guests with me tonight 255 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,598 who have opposing views on the matter. 256 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,914 On my right is pissed-off white-trash 257 00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:05,165 redneck conservative. 258 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,917 Thanks for having me, Bill. 259 00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:10,337 And on my left is aging hippie liberal douche. 260 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,462 Hello. 261 00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:12,546 Now, pissed-off redneck, 262 00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:14,549 you say we shouldn't allow anyone else 263 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,027 through the time portal, all right? 264 00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,761 You're goddamn right. 265 00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:20,764 These people from the future are taking all the work away 266 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,809 from us decent present-day Americans. 267 00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,019 They took our jobs! 268 00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,979 They took our jobs! 269 00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:31,316 Those jobs belong to people from the present! 270 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,234 All right. 271 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,361 What say you, aging hippie liberal douche? 272 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:36,822 It's typical for conservative rednecks like these 273 00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,782 to view the immigrants as the problem. 274 00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,284 But really the problem is America. 275 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,370 It is our greedy multinational corporations 276 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,163 that keep everyone else in poverty. 277 00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,332 Your ancestors came to America as immigrants. 278 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,710 What right do you have to turn these people away? 279 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:52,212 All right. Redneck, your rebuttal? 280 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,049 They took our jobs! 281 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,843 They took our jobs! 282 00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,011 Durk er durrr! 283 00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:03,640 All right, children. 284 00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,309 The school board has mandated that I must now teach class 285 00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:09,396 in both present-day English and Futurespeak. 286 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:10,772 What? 287 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,734 So with that in mind, let's continue our lessons on verbs. 288 00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:16,319 Remember that there are transitive verbs such as, 289 00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:19,322 "The boy threw the red ball," 290 00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:23,076 which in Futurespeak, of course, is g'rk gr'kle r'glk. 291 00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:25,495 Everyone say it with me. G'rk gr'kle r'glk. 292 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,956 G'rk gr'kle r'glk. 293 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,208 G'rk r'g-g-g... lk. 294 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,961 And there are intransitive verbs, such as, 295 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:37,674 "The 11:15 bus from Denver arrived 12 hours late." 296 00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:41,011 Or in Futurespeak, g'lrk. 297 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:42,679 G'lrk. 298 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,556 Dude, hold on. This is bullcrap! 299 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:45,974 If they want to live in our time, 300 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,499 then they should learn our language! 301 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:48,685 - Yeah! - Right! 302 00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:52,063 Hey, now, these immigrants have a right to retain their culture. 303 00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:54,107 Who are we to say our language is best? 304 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,650 They deserve to have an education 305 00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,235 just as much as you do. 306 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,488 Thank you, aging hippie liberal douche. 307 00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:00,989 You betcha. 308 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:02,908 Timmy! 309 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,701 Okay, now. Let's get back to it, kids. 310 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,536 Which kind of verb is this? 311 00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:09,414 "The sad girl puts balls in her mouth." 312 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,082 Or, in Futurespeak, of course... 313 00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:13,877 G'rk g'rak balls g'rk g'rk. 314 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,462 This is bullcrap! 315 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,190 - We don't like this! - I ain't standin' for this! 316 00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:18,465 Listen up, everybody. 317 00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:22,511 We've just received a reply from our congressman. 318 00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,763 "Dear intolerant rednecks, 319 00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:27,849 we sympathize with you all losing your jobs. 320 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:31,269 However, we feel your solution of shooting everyone 321 00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:34,439 who crosses the time border is inhumane." 322 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,857 - What? - That's ridiculous! 323 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,109 - They can't do that! - That was a good idea! 324 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:41,029 So it appears the government ain't gonna help us, 325 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,074 which means we got to take matters into our own hands. 326 00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:46,785 The only way to stop people from the future 327 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,788 is to stop the future from happening. 328 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:50,913 Hey, that's right! 329 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,123 If there is no future, 330 00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:54,459 then there'll be no people fro m the future 331 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,127 to come back and take our jobs! 332 00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,712 Dur er durrr! 333 00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:58,964 All right. 334 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:04,177 So any ideas how we can stop the future from happening? 335 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:08,306 How about we cause more global warming 336 00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:11,768 so that in the future the polar ice caps melt, 337 00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:14,938 a-and it ushers in a new ice age? 338 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:21,486 How the hell is global warming gonna cause an ice age? 339 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,489 Well, you know, the global warming could bring on, 340 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,741 like, a climate shift or something. 341 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,327 Chet, you are a fuckin' retard. You know that? 342 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,913 Even if global warming were real... 343 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,457 Which all proven scientific data shows it isn't... 344 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:38,003 It would take millions of years for a climate shift to happen. 345 00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:41,006 You think an ice age can just happen all of a sudden like? 346 00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,174 Well, I was just trying to be helpful. 347 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,218 Well, help yourself to a fuckin' science book, 348 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,762 'cause you're talking like a fuckin' retard. 349 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,556 Now, come on, people! We've got to think! 350 00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,349 Damn it, they took our job! 351 00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,642 They took our job! 352 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:53,852 They took our job! 353 00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,312 - Taka dur! - Took our job! 354 00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,526 G'rr? G'lk g'lr? 355 00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,946 G'rk! G'lrm g'lak g'lak. 356 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,300 Oh, dude! 357 00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:29,012 G'lar d'kuh? 358 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:31,306 Can you speak in present-day English, please? 359 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,560 Can I help you? 360 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,938 Uh, yeah. I want a double cheeseburger and fries. 361 00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,900 Chicken sandwich? 362 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:44,569 No. A double cheeseburger and fries. 363 00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,655 - Anything to drink? - What? 364 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:47,780 Anything to drink? 365 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,491 We can't understand you, asshole! 366 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,159 G'lrk. G'lk g'rr g'lrk. 367 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,911 G'rek g'lrk g'lrk. G'rek g'lrk g'lrk. 368 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,037 G'wark. 369 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,747 Can I help you? 370 00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:58,166 I'm trying to order a double cheeseburger. 371 00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,794 Chicken sandwich? 372 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,712 No, not a chicken sandwich! 373 00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:05,590 I want a goddamn cheeseburger and some goddamn fries, 374 00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,634 you fucking goobacks! 375 00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,970 Stan Marsh! 376 00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:13,098 Aw... Awwww! 377 00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:14,975 Come on, people. Think! 378 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,643 How are we gonna stop these immigrants 379 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,144 from takin' our jobs? 380 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,771 Hey, I got an idea. 381 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,982 Maybe we should all take off all our clothes, 382 00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,191 scramble into a big pile, 383 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,194 and start getting gay with each other. 384 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,823 Did you say get gay? 385 00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:32,742 Hey, yeah. That's not a bad idea! 386 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,536 What, gettin' gay? 387 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,997 Think about it. These people are from the future, right? 388 00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,332 Well, if we can get everyone to turn queer, 389 00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,710 then there won't be no children to have no children, 390 00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:45,755 and the people from the future won't exist to take our jobs! 391 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,841 I ain't turning queer. 392 00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,134 You have to, Jimbo, 393 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:50,760 or else we won't be able to stop them. 394 00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,470 Damn it! They took er blerrr! 395 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:53,805 Yeah! They took our jobs! 396 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:55,682 Took er durrr! 397 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,517 Let's go over to that part of town 398 00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,519 that all the future people moved into 399 00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:02,439 and start humpin' each other until they disappear. 400 00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:04,190 Come on! 401 00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:08,778 Come on! You want your jobs back or not?! 402 00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:20,540 All right, you future bastards! 403 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,333 Think you can take our jobs? 404 00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:23,835 Well, we'll show you. 405 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,545 Come here, Earl! 406 00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:30,675 How do you like that, gooback? 407 00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,262 Come on, you guys! 408 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:43,313 Everyone who believes in America, join in with us! 409 00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:46,149 We're gonna make these future bastards nonexistent! 410 00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:51,529 Aw, come on, Dad. 411 00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,174 How come I have to go to work with you? 412 00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:54,991 Because you're being grounded, Stanley. 413 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,469 Now, I don't want to hear another word 414 00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:57,994 out of your intolerant mouth. 415 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,830 You just sit right there, Stanley, 416 00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,999 and you think about what you've done. 417 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,728 You'll find all the copiers and printers 418 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,962 - in the next room over and... - Hey, Mr. Nelson. 419 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,756 Oh. R-Randy. 420 00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:11,508 I'm surprised to see you here. 421 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:12,967 Why? This is my office. 422 00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:15,845 Oh, boy. Didn't you get my phone message? 423 00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,055 Ooh, this is awkward. 424 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:20,558 Well, the thing is, Randy, you've been replaced. 425 00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:21,476 What? 426 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,871 W-We found an immigrant from the future who knows geology, 427 00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,605 and he offered to work for next to nothing. 428 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,607 This is Mr. G'luhg'rwe. 429 00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:28,900 G'rlo. 430 00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,069 You can't be serious. 431 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,070 I'm sorry, Randy. 432 00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:33,955 It's just with all the budget cuts and all... 433 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,883 We'll give you some time to clean out your desk. 434 00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:38,118 Follow me, Mr. G'luhg'rwe. 435 00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,744 I'll show you to the coffee room. 436 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,749 Oh, my God. 437 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,043 They took my job! 438 00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:49,170 They took yer job! 439 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,713 This is CNN. 440 00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:52,382 Breaking news at the time border. 441 00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:54,425 We go now live to Harrison Moore. 442 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,719 Aaron, I'm standing at the time border, 443 00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:59,639 where some kind of mass protest has broken out. 444 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:02,851 Hundreds of men who have lost their jobs to time immigrants 445 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,436 are here having sex with one another. 446 00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,356 These men have apparently sucked and screwed their way 447 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,524 across the state 448 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,192 and are now here at the time border 449 00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,819 trying to get national attention. 450 00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:16,072 These unemployed men have been having sex for several days. 451 00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:19,701 Joining me now is their spokesperson, Randy Marsh. 452 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,954 Mr. Marsh, what exactly are you trying to accomplish? 453 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,039 We're doing the only thing we can do. 454 00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:26,833 If our government is just gonna let 455 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,877 anybody into our time who wants to come, 456 00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,171 then we have to take matters into our own hands. 457 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,714 We're trying to turn everyone gay 458 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,716 so there a re no future humans. 459 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,634 Present-day America, number one! 460 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:37,844 Yeah, America! 461 00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,179 Took our jobs! 462 00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:41,973 Do you really think you can get enough people to turn gay 463 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,100 to destroy the future of humanity? 464 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,935 All we can do is try, Harrison. 465 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:49,480 Trying to stop immigration is intolerant and ignorant! 466 00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:51,816 Those immigrants have a right to pursue happiness! 467 00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:53,943 Young man, what do you think about all this? 468 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,613 I-I think it's wrong to call them goobacks, 469 00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,239 because they're no different from us. 470 00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,533 They're just humans trying to make their lives better. 471 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,869 Look, it sucks that the immigrants' time is so crappy. 472 00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:03,995 But the cold, hard truth 473 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,840 is if we let them all come back to our time, 474 00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,874 it's just gonna make our time crappy, too. 475 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,793 Maybe the answer isn't trying to stop the future from happening, 476 00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:12,879 but making the future better. 477 00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:16,507 Maybe if we all commit right now 478 00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,051 to working towards a better future, 479 00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:20,762 then the future won't be so bad and these immigrants won't need 480 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,388 to come back here looking for work. 481 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,934 Hey, he's right. 482 00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,520 If we build for a better future, the immigrants will stay there! 483 00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:30,897 Yeah. 484 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:33,733 We've got to start working towards a brighter tomorrow. 485 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,693 Well, what are we waiting for? 486 00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:41,783 We've got to work for a better future. 487 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:44,494 We've got to join hands for tomorrow. 488 00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,579 Take the first step and you will see. 489 00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:51,084 The future begins with you and me. 490 00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,294 We can start to make a difference. 491 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,797 If we want it for our children. 492 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,966 Recycle that can and plant that tree. 493 00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:01,177 'Cause the future begins with you and me. 494 00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:02,595 Look! It's working! 495 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,306 The future begins with you and me. 496 00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,267 The immigrants are fading away! 497 00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:08,601 We're doing it! 498 00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:11,145 We've got to work for a better future. 499 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:14,107 We've got to join hands for tomorrow. 500 00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:16,168 Take the first step and you will see the future... 501 00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,861 Dude, wait. Wait. H-Hold on. Wait a second. 502 00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:19,988 This is gay. 503 00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,114 This is really gay. 504 00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:22,907 Yeah, this is even gayer than all the men 505 00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:25,112 getting in a big pile and having sex with each other. 506 00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,577 Okay. Sorry. My bad. 507 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:27,870 Everyone back in the pile. 508 00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:29,372 Back in the pile, everyone! 509 00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,975 - We're going back to the pile! - Jump in! 510 00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:33,079 - Come on, everybody! - We're going back to the pile! 511 00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,877 - Yeah! Come on! - Taka dur! 512 00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:37,171 We've got to work for a better future. 513 00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:40,008 We've got to join hands for tomorrow. 514 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:42,051 Take the first step and you will see. 515 00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:45,680 The future begins with you and me. 516 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,850 We can start to make a difference. 517 00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:51,144 If we want it for our children. 518 00:21:51,269 --> 00:21:53,438 Recycle that can and plant that tree. 519 00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:57,442 'Cause the future begins with you and me. 520 00:21:57,567 --> 00:22:01,154 The future begins with you and me