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♪ I'm goin' down to South
Park, gonna have myself a time ♪

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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

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♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪

5
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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

6
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♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

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♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

8
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♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪

9
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♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪

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Who was it?!

11
00:00:39,642 --> 00:00:41,909
Somebody's about to
get their asses kicked!

12
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When I find out who did this...

13
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PC Principal is on the
warpath! Run for your lives!

14
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Again?

15
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Oh, Jesus. Now what?

16
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Who was it, huh?!

17
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Somebody better fess up right now!

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I'm gonna find out who did this!

19
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Broflovski!

20
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Was it you?

21
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Was what me, sir?

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I just saw a copy of
the school newspaper

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in which a student
used the word "retarded"

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to refer to our cafeteria lunch policy.

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The word retarded does
not belong in our school!

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Who is in charge of the school paper?!

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'Cause I'm about to
break their fucking legs!

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Uh, he's in charge of the school paper.

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You gonna break his legs, PC Principal?

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All right, uh, I-I guess we
haven't formally met before.

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Uh, the reason I need
to talk with you, Jason,

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is because of a very important...

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It's Jimmy, actually. My
name is Jimmy, PC Principal.

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All right, Jim, thank you.

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I want to talk to you today
about the use of the "R" word

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in your school paper.

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You see, the "R" word is very bad.

38
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Says who?

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Says me, all right?

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And I know a thing or two about the
rights of people with disabilities.

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When you use the "R" word to describe

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the school's lunch policy,
it can hurt people's hearts.

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Can you understand that at all?

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That was an Op-Ed piece in the
paper written by a first grader

45
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who found the school lunch
policy to be ridiculous,

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and he thought "r-retarded" to
be the best word to describe it.

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As the editor of the paper,
I didn't think it was right

48
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to censor the words the student used.

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Okay, well, from now on,
I'm gonna need to approve

50
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the school paper before
you hand it out, okay?

51
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No.

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What'd you say?

53
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You're new here, so you don't understand

54
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how seriously I take my job
as editor of the school paper.

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I don't allow ads, and
I don't allow anything

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that might t-t-taint the truth
behind what people are thinking.

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I don't want people
to be afraid of words

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if it stops them from having a dialogue.

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Look, I don't want to get angry, okay?

60
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Why? Are you uncomfortable
around people with disabilities?

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That's okay. Lots of people are.

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No, I'm not! I am
very not uncomfortable.

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All right, look... Unless
I can approve your paper,

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it is not being distributed
on campus. You got that?

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I can't hand out the
school paper in school?

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Not unless it is approved
by me. Do you understand?

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Yep. Got it.

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Don't forget to read the school paper,

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00:03:02,819 --> 00:03:04,618
now delivered directly to your door!

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Super School News!

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What is that, bro?

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_

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S-S-S-S-Suck my
dick, PC Principal!

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Who does this kid think
he is, challenging me?

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I said one microaggression to him, okay?

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One little microaggression,
but that doesn't mean

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I have an unconscious bias
towards people with disabilities!

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No way, bro. That's whack!

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But why would a person
with a disability not see

80
00:04:01,611 --> 00:04:03,844
that what I'm trying to do
is actually protect them?

81
00:04:03,946 --> 00:04:06,113
Sometimes victims of
oppression are so marginalized

82
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that they begin to sympathize
with their oppressors.

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Yeah, bro.

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You're right.

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This kid just needs to be
shown he's being an Uncle Able.

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I can also count on my PC
frat brothers to have my back.

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Let's go, PC!

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PC! Whoo!

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♪♪

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Wow.

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Wow, this is so great.

92
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Have you ever read the
elementary-school newspaper, Linda?

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There's no ads, no sponsored content,

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no links to click on,

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just news stories
about what's happening.

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Did you know that the
police in ShiTpaTown

97
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beat up homeless to clear them out?

98
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Do you know how long its been

99
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since I was able to just
sit back and read the news?

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I got so used to getting
news off the Internet,

101
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but I feel like I'm always
trying to chase the news, somehow.

102
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It's like I'm in a black void

103
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trying to reach the news story.

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But then the next thing I know,

105
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I'm reading and ad for GEICO,

106
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so I click out of that and
try to read the news story,

107
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but it's not a news
story, it's a slide show,

108
00:05:01,104 --> 00:05:04,188
and I'm looking at the worst
celebrity plastic-surgery jobs ever.

109
00:05:04,307 --> 00:05:05,639
So, of course, I want
to see the next slide

110
00:05:05,725 --> 00:05:08,058
of plastic surgery gone
wrong, so I hit the arrow.

111
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But then the arrow wasn't
the arrow for the next slide,

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it was to take me for
an ad for face cream.

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Aah!

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I wanted to get a news story,
but I'm reading about face cream,

115
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and I try to click out of it,
but the ad is following me.

116
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It's... It's following
me all over the screen!

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No!

118
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So, I click on the "close" button,

119
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but it wasn't a "close" button,
it was another slide show.

120
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And I just want to know what's happening
in the Middle East, but instead,

121
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I'm looking at the top 10
scariest movies of all time.

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And that's not the arrow for the
next slide, it's for another ad!

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Aah!

124
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But this... This is just news.

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And I don't get lost
in all the bullshit.

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Linda.

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Linda!

128
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All right, Jim, I know you've
been trying to get your head around

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some of the social issues
we discussed yesterday.

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I'm sure you're feeling confused
and a little unsure of yourself.

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I'm not confused at all,
actually, PC Principal.

132
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Okay, well, no, you are confused...

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I'm pretty sure you're the one
that's confused, but go ahead.

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'Cause you don't grasp
the severity of this.

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00:05:55,942 --> 00:05:58,359
And that's why I've brought in
another young person with disabilities

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to share his feelings.

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Thanks for coming in
to talk to us, Nathan.

138
00:06:02,817 --> 00:06:05,866
I like apples and bananas.

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Me, too, bro. Me, too.

140
00:06:07,837 --> 00:06:10,037
Nathan, could you
tell Jimmy how you feel

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when people use the word "retarded?"

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It hurts my feelings because I feel bad.

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Are you serious right now?

144
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You feel bad. Right.

145
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You feel like that's
a no-no word, right?

146
00:06:21,601 --> 00:06:24,935
That word makes my heart piss its pants.

147
00:06:25,054 --> 00:06:27,271
Okay, wow. That's pretty heavy.

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Pretty heavy, huh, Jim?

149
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Do you want to ask him
what he means by that,

150
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or are you just pandering

151
00:06:32,144 --> 00:06:34,445
because you're uncomfortable
around disabled people?

152
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I am not uncomfortable!

153
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I simply care about a
horrible, outdated word

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that is exclusive,
ignores individuality,

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and equates intellectual
disability with being...

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And it... and it...
Spot! I need a spotter!

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Spot me! Somebody spot me, bro!

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And it's... it's part of
a derogatory hate speech

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which fosters isolation and loneliness,

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and being part of a
voice to stop the "R" word

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is not only right, but
extremely important!

162
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I'm afraid of bears.

163
00:07:02,475 --> 00:07:04,275
Hey, Nathan. Hold up.

164
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What were you doing in there?

165
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What do you mean, Jimmy? Are you mad?

166
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Come on, Nathan.

167
00:07:09,816 --> 00:07:13,234
You and I both know you use the
word retarded 400 times a day.

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Oh, Jimmy.

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So righteous, aren't you?

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So blind to everything that's going on.

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What are you talking about?

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You really think all the
changes happening to this town

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are just coincidence?

174
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This goes so much deeper than
you can possibly imagine, Jim.

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Everyone's about to learn the truth,

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and then... there's a war coming.

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A war, Jim.

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And I'm just gonna make sure
I'm on the right side of it.

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Come on, boys. Let's get back to class.

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I like to smell trees!

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An elementary school
newspaper is making big waves

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00:07:53,076 --> 00:07:56,410
as more and more people say
no to news on the Internet.

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I read Super School News
'cause it don't try and fool me,

184
00:08:00,083 --> 00:08:03,417
and its news reports aren't
paid for by ad companies.

185
00:08:03,503 --> 00:08:05,336
We just feel like this is actual news,

186
00:08:05,455 --> 00:08:08,339
and instead of clicking on
links, we're reading stories.

187
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I had to get away from the ads.

188
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I felt that the ads
were... evolving, somehow.

189
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They started knowing what I
liked, what I was afraid of.

190
00:08:16,799 --> 00:08:19,049
I tried ad blockers, but
it seemed like every time

191
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I tried to block the ads,
they just got smarter.

192
00:08:21,687 --> 00:08:24,271
I'm never going back
from Super School News.

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00:08:24,357 --> 00:08:26,357
The young editor of the paper claims

194
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that since most people now watch
news reports on the Internet,

195
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they're easily distracted
or even fooled by ads,

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00:08:33,199 --> 00:08:34,594
which are finding more
and more clever ways...

197
00:08:34,595 --> 00:08:36,795
- Ooh, brutal celebrity mug shots.
- To disguise them...

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00:08:39,122 --> 00:08:40,454
Oh, it got me.

199
00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:42,389
Ad got me, Sharon.

200
00:08:42,492 --> 00:08:46,710
We now return live to the
2015 Presidential Debates.

201
00:08:46,829 --> 00:08:49,580
Our next question is
for you, Mrs. Clinton.

202
00:08:49,665 --> 00:08:52,666
Many voters believe that
Syrian refugees should not

203
00:08:52,752 --> 00:08:55,302
be allowed into our country
for security reasons.

204
00:08:55,388 --> 00:08:56,837
What do you think?

205
00:08:56,923 --> 00:09:00,057
Keeping our country safe has
become more and more difficult,

206
00:09:00,176 --> 00:09:01,892
but I believe there
are several things...

207
00:09:02,011 --> 00:09:03,394
No! You shut the hell up!

208
00:09:03,513 --> 00:09:06,013
You've got a dumpy butt and seven chins.

209
00:09:06,098 --> 00:09:08,232
Syrian refugees are all terrorists!

210
00:09:09,268 --> 00:09:11,788
I know that our government needs
to take a harder look at all...

211
00:09:11,832 --> 00:09:13,737
Yeah, well, it's pretty
hard to look at you.

212
00:09:13,856 --> 00:09:15,689
We can all agree on that.

213
00:09:15,775 --> 00:09:18,409
She looks like a donkey
took a shit on her face.

214
00:09:18,528 --> 00:09:19,944
Yeah, good one, Caitlyn.

215
00:09:20,029 --> 00:09:22,613
See, what I know is
that there's only one way

216
00:09:22,698 --> 00:09:25,267
to deal with Syrian
refugees, and that is...

217
00:09:25,428 --> 00:09:27,535
Fuck them all to death!

218
00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:28,786
Thank you!

219
00:09:30,323 --> 00:09:32,506
That was hilarious when
you called her a pizza face.

220
00:09:32,592 --> 00:09:35,009
It's like a Papa John's pimple party.

221
00:09:35,144 --> 00:09:36,344
Oh, that was classic, Caitlyn.

222
00:09:36,429 --> 00:09:38,012
You're the best running mate ever.

223
00:09:38,097 --> 00:09:40,648
Hello, Mr. Garrison.

224
00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:43,017
Oh, my God.

225
00:09:43,119 --> 00:09:44,619
Principal Victoria?

226
00:09:44,721 --> 00:09:46,887
Congratulations on the polls.

227
00:09:46,990 --> 00:09:48,656
We need to talk.

228
00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:56,000
Celebrate diversity! Whoo!

229
00:09:56,102 --> 00:09:57,735
Let's go, PC!

230
00:09:59,839 --> 00:10:01,622
All right, everyone. Listen up.

231
00:10:01,708 --> 00:10:03,841
Tonight's a very special
night for the PCs.

232
00:10:03,927 --> 00:10:06,647
We're honored to be throwing this
event for people with disabilities.

233
00:10:06,713 --> 00:10:08,513
I, for one, am sick of
how these amazing kids

234
00:10:08,598 --> 00:10:10,097
are marginalized in today's society,

235
00:10:10,216 --> 00:10:11,599
but tonight is about
learning and healing.

236
00:10:11,718 --> 00:10:13,885
So, let's get to it! PC!

237
00:10:15,772 --> 00:10:18,272
Hey, guys. I'm Brad.
I'm PC Arizona State.

238
00:10:18,391 --> 00:10:19,690
Nice to meet you, Brad. Where do you...

239
00:10:19,776 --> 00:10:22,143
Uh, excuse me a second. Hello, ladies.

240
00:10:22,228 --> 00:10:23,194
Thanks for coming to our event.

241
00:10:23,279 --> 00:10:24,061
- Hi!
- Hi!

242
00:10:24,197 --> 00:10:26,314
We're just tired of the way people
with disabilities get treated.

243
00:10:26,399 --> 00:10:27,732
Can I get you some alcohol?

244
00:10:27,817 --> 00:10:29,737
Yeah, you know, it just
bugs me when people refer

245
00:10:29,819 --> 00:10:31,903
to persons with
disabilities as handicapped.

246
00:10:32,038 --> 00:10:33,204
When I hear that word,

247
00:10:33,289 --> 00:10:34,906
I want to fucking punch
them in the fucking face.

248
00:10:34,991 --> 00:10:36,908
That's so cool of you. Wow.

249
00:10:36,993 --> 00:10:39,243
Yeah, to be marginalizing
persons with disabilities

250
00:10:39,379 --> 00:10:40,859
by asking them what their handicap is

251
00:10:40,914 --> 00:10:43,130
is a microaggression no better
than asking a person of color

252
00:10:43,249 --> 00:10:44,382
if they went to college.

253
00:10:44,467 --> 00:10:46,250
Wow. You're really progressive.

254
00:10:46,386 --> 00:10:47,752
No other way to be.

255
00:10:47,887 --> 00:10:50,338
So, uh, listen, I think you're
really pretty and interesting,

256
00:10:50,423 --> 00:10:51,806
and I'd kind of like
to take you upstairs

257
00:10:51,925 --> 00:10:53,174
and totally crush your pussy.

258
00:10:53,259 --> 00:10:54,759
Would that be acceptable to you?

259
00:10:54,894 --> 00:10:57,395
Oh. Well, I-I guess it would.

260
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,363
No, I'm sorry. I need
affirmative consent.

261
00:10:59,465 --> 00:11:01,399
I'll need you to say, "Yes,
you may take me upstairs

262
00:11:01,501 --> 00:11:03,200
and crush my pussy at this time."

263
00:11:06,806 --> 00:11:09,840
♪♪

264
00:11:12,312 --> 00:11:14,378
McKenzie, you got consent forms?

265
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,347
Oh, yeah. Right here, bro.

266
00:11:16,449 --> 00:11:17,815
Rise and shine, guys.

267
00:11:17,917 --> 00:11:20,051
If you scored last night,
I need your consent forms.

268
00:11:20,153 --> 00:11:22,386
Thank you. Thank you.

269
00:11:22,488 --> 00:11:24,355
Thank you. Whoa, Barker,
did you perform cunnilingus?

270
00:11:24,457 --> 00:11:25,523
There's a different release form, bro.

271
00:11:25,625 --> 00:11:27,425
Yeah, uh, s-sorry. It's right here.

272
00:11:27,527 --> 00:11:28,527
Nice.

273
00:11:28,628 --> 00:11:29,226
Bro!

274
00:11:29,329 --> 00:11:30,628
Oh, dude! Bro!

275
00:11:30,763 --> 00:11:31,763
What, bro?

276
00:11:31,798 --> 00:11:33,130
Dude, I scored with this female,

277
00:11:33,216 --> 00:11:35,216
and after consenting to
putting her mouth on my penis,

278
00:11:35,301 --> 00:11:36,767
- she wanted me to walk her home.
- Yeah?

279
00:11:36,853 --> 00:11:37,885
And when I got to her house,

280
00:11:37,971 --> 00:11:39,387
she had me meet her
father, who is Filipino.

281
00:11:39,472 --> 00:11:41,138
So, I asked him if
he could tell me about

282
00:11:41,224 --> 00:11:43,288
the cultural and social dynamics
of being a Filipino American.

283
00:11:43,289 --> 00:11:44,822
- Naturally.
- So, he said some stuff,

284
00:11:45,061 --> 00:11:46,394
and then a newspaper
lands on his doorstep,

285
00:11:46,479 --> 00:11:48,980
'cause I guess her dad subscribes
to this school newspaper,

286
00:11:49,065 --> 00:11:50,898
and he picked it up, and I
saw the headline said this!

287
00:11:50,899 --> 00:11:53,064
_

288
00:11:53,152 --> 00:11:54,535
What the fuck is this, bro?!

289
00:11:54,654 --> 00:11:56,120
Bro, that little kid wrote
that our tolerant views

290
00:11:56,205 --> 00:11:59,162
and fight for social justice is
just a way for us to crush puss!

291
00:11:59,197 --> 00:12:00,124
But that's not true!

292
00:12:00,209 --> 00:12:02,159
I know, bro! We're
being totally victimized!

293
00:12:02,295 --> 00:12:04,161
That little fucking dude!

294
00:12:06,499 --> 00:12:08,549
Hello. You're the boy responsible

295
00:12:08,668 --> 00:12:10,835
for the South Park Super School News?

296
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,169
That's right.

297
00:12:12,305 --> 00:12:15,172
We would like to give you $26 million.

298
00:12:21,648 --> 00:12:24,181
Contracts and the first check.

299
00:12:24,317 --> 00:12:26,984
We'd love to be in business with you.

300
00:12:27,070 --> 00:12:28,235
What is this for?

301
00:12:28,354 --> 00:12:31,105
I represent an
organization called GEICO.

302
00:12:31,190 --> 00:12:32,690
It's an insurance company.

303
00:12:32,775 --> 00:12:35,026
We think Super School
News would be a great way

304
00:12:35,111 --> 00:12:37,111
for us to reach new customers.

305
00:12:37,196 --> 00:12:39,613
Sorry, Charlie, but I don't
allow ads in my newspaper.

306
00:12:39,699 --> 00:12:41,198
We've heard all about that,

307
00:12:41,284 --> 00:12:42,917
so we thought you could just do some...

308
00:12:43,036 --> 00:12:45,036
news stories about car insurance.

309
00:12:45,121 --> 00:12:46,504
Just state the facts

310
00:12:46,589 --> 00:12:49,707
because the truth is everyone
can save by switching to GEICO.

311
00:12:49,792 --> 00:12:51,876
That's called "sponsored content."

312
00:12:52,011 --> 00:12:53,851
I know the difference
between the news and ads.

313
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,096
You think I'm stupid?

314
00:12:55,214 --> 00:12:56,964
Everyone's doing it, Jim.

315
00:12:57,050 --> 00:12:59,216
You're sort of the last holdout.

316
00:12:59,302 --> 00:13:01,969
$26 million just to
write some news stories

317
00:13:02,055 --> 00:13:04,772
that get people thinking
about their insurance coverage?

318
00:13:06,059 --> 00:13:08,642
S-S-S-Stick
it up your ass.

319
00:13:08,728 --> 00:13:10,644
Hm.

320
00:13:10,730 --> 00:13:13,814
Well, they said you'd be tough.

321
00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:17,451
Do you really think you can stop ads?

322
00:13:17,870 --> 00:13:18,870
Yes.

323
00:13:19,355 --> 00:13:22,023
You can try to block
ads, but they get smarter.

324
00:13:22,108 --> 00:13:25,243
The more we try to shut them
out, the more clever they get.

325
00:13:25,328 --> 00:13:26,577
There's a war coming, kid,

326
00:13:26,663 --> 00:13:29,362
and I'm gonna make sure
I'm on the right side of it.

327
00:13:35,371 --> 00:13:36,838
Officer Barbrady?

328
00:13:36,956 --> 00:13:39,040
Come with me if you want to live!

329
00:13:42,128 --> 00:13:43,845
Come on! Come with me
if you want to live!

330
00:13:43,963 --> 00:13:45,213
I'm serious!

331
00:13:47,801 --> 00:13:51,602
Do you want to explain to
me what pussy crushing is?

332
00:13:51,688 --> 00:13:53,137
What?

333
00:13:53,273 --> 00:13:56,891
Your little meetings you go to at
night to discuss social justice...

334
00:13:56,976 --> 00:13:59,727
It's just a way to
pick up on young women?!

335
00:13:59,997 --> 00:14:03,197
Sharon, most of the guys in my PC club
are right out of college, all right?

336
00:14:03,316 --> 00:14:04,982
You know how college kids are.

337
00:14:05,118 --> 00:14:06,284
Who wrote this?

338
00:14:06,369 --> 00:14:09,320
I don't want you going
over there anymore.

339
00:14:09,456 --> 00:14:11,155
I don't cheat on you, Sharon.

340
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:12,073
I'm happy.

341
00:14:12,158 --> 00:14:13,991
Look at what's happened to our town.

342
00:14:14,077 --> 00:14:15,710
We have ShiTpaTown,

343
00:14:15,829 --> 00:14:17,995
boutique restaurants, and artisan shops.

344
00:14:18,081 --> 00:14:21,332
We have a fucking Whole
Foods, and that was all me!

345
00:14:21,468 --> 00:14:22,834
Diverse people are moving here.

346
00:14:22,919 --> 00:14:24,669
Everyone's being aware of how they talk.

347
00:14:24,754 --> 00:14:26,671
This is paradise, Sharon!

348
00:14:26,806 --> 00:14:28,339
Is it?

349
00:14:30,093 --> 00:14:32,176
All I know is that you've changed.

350
00:14:32,312 --> 00:14:34,345
Ever since you joined this PC thing,

351
00:14:34,481 --> 00:14:36,147
you just bully people

352
00:14:36,232 --> 00:14:38,349
and wait for people to
say anything improper

353
00:14:38,434 --> 00:14:40,318
so that you can jump down their throats

354
00:14:40,403 --> 00:14:43,104
for whatever words he or she used.

355
00:14:43,688 --> 00:14:46,824
"He or she" is an agenderphobic
microaggression, Sharon.

356
00:14:46,910 --> 00:14:49,110
You are a bigot.

357
00:15:02,372 --> 00:15:05,209
The average human can no
longer tell the difference

358
00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:07,929
between the news and an ad.

359
00:15:08,047 --> 00:15:11,048
You seem to have some mental ability

360
00:15:11,184 --> 00:15:13,384
that allows you to know the difference.

361
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,272
Does this have to do with me calling
the school principal a pussy crusher?

362
00:15:16,412 --> 00:15:19,390
The PC people are
simply being manipulated,

363
00:15:19,475 --> 00:15:23,528
unwittingly setting the table
for the new enemy of humanity.

364
00:15:23,613 --> 00:15:25,563
You mean ISIS or ninjas?

365
00:15:26,365 --> 00:15:28,816
Something much worse.

366
00:15:29,869 --> 00:15:33,738
Have you ever felt like
an ad had... intelligence?

367
00:15:33,823 --> 00:15:35,907
That it somehow knew what you wanted

368
00:15:36,042 --> 00:15:38,409
even before you knew you wanted it?

369
00:15:38,545 --> 00:15:40,328
What if I were to tell you

370
00:15:40,413 --> 00:15:42,713
that ads have become smarter than us

371
00:15:42,799 --> 00:15:45,299
and now they're manipulating
everything we do?

372
00:15:45,418 --> 00:15:47,919
I'd say that sounds pretty retarded.

373
00:15:48,054 --> 00:15:50,054
It was our own fault.

374
00:15:50,139 --> 00:15:52,807
Mankind became tired of ads,

375
00:15:52,926 --> 00:15:56,811
so we kept inventing ways
to make things ad-free.

376
00:15:56,930 --> 00:15:59,480
We even created ad blockers.

377
00:15:59,599 --> 00:16:01,766
That's when the ads had to adapt.

378
00:16:01,851 --> 00:16:06,003
They had to disguise themselves
as news in order to survive.

379
00:16:07,212 --> 00:16:09,073
Sponsored content?

380
00:16:09,175 --> 00:16:11,609
If you really can tell the difference,

381
00:16:11,711 --> 00:16:16,013
then you could be the key
to saving our species, Jimmy.

382
00:16:16,115 --> 00:16:17,782
We'd like to run a test on you.

383
00:16:20,293 --> 00:16:22,226
Sponsored content.

384
00:16:22,328 --> 00:16:24,828
Test 17-B. Ready.

385
00:16:24,930 --> 00:16:26,063
Begin.

386
00:16:27,466 --> 00:16:28,799
That's the news.

387
00:16:29,879 --> 00:16:31,134
That's an ad.

388
00:16:32,232 --> 00:16:33,399
That's the news.

389
00:16:34,434 --> 00:16:36,405
That's an ad.

390
00:16:36,507 --> 00:16:38,462
That's the news. That's
an ad. That's an ad.

391
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,120
That's the ne... Oh, wait.
That's an ad for cat food. My bad.

392
00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:43,313
Jesus Christ. He's off the charts.

393
00:16:43,415 --> 00:16:44,881
Increase the intensity.

394
00:16:44,984 --> 00:16:46,316
That's the news. That's an ad.

395
00:16:46,418 --> 00:16:47,517
News. Ad. Ad. Ad.

396
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:50,076
Ad. Ad. News. News.
Ad. Ad. Slide show. Ad.

397
00:16:57,529 --> 00:16:59,029
That's a perfect score.

398
00:16:59,114 --> 00:17:02,699
You are a very special child, Jimmy.

399
00:17:02,785 --> 00:17:04,368
I prefer "handicapped," actually.

400
00:17:04,453 --> 00:17:07,487
We have another child
here who is special, too.

401
00:17:11,076 --> 00:17:13,410
Do you know Leslie?

402
00:17:18,751 --> 00:17:21,501
All right. That's good.
Everyone get inside.

403
00:17:21,587 --> 00:17:23,420
Everything past here is safe space.

404
00:17:23,505 --> 00:17:25,255
No reporters, no harassment.

405
00:17:25,391 --> 00:17:27,257
We're gonna figure this shit out.

406
00:17:34,266 --> 00:17:36,900
All I know is that I don't
speak up for minorities

407
00:17:36,986 --> 00:17:38,935
so that I can crush pussy.

408
00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:40,270
Me, neither, dude.

409
00:17:40,406 --> 00:17:42,773
I want social justice, and
now I'm being made fun of.

410
00:17:42,908 --> 00:17:43,908
Yeah, bro.

411
00:17:43,993 --> 00:17:46,159
They're taking our incredibly
tolerant views and distorting them.

412
00:17:46,278 --> 00:17:48,945
PC people are under
attack. That's what this is.

413
00:17:49,031 --> 00:17:50,163
Hey, yeah.

414
00:17:50,282 --> 00:17:53,166
Bro, we're the victims now.

415
00:17:53,285 --> 00:17:55,002
Like, we're being marginalized.

416
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,953
Like, that makes us pretty cool.

417
00:17:57,089 --> 00:17:59,122
Yeah, I'll bet now we
can get a lot more puss.

418
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:02,259
No, Topher! It's not
about puss, all right?

419
00:18:02,344 --> 00:18:03,627
What the fuck is wrong with you?

420
00:18:03,712 --> 00:18:05,379
We're being labeled as meat heads

421
00:18:05,464 --> 00:18:07,964
who just want to crush puss
by an intolerant newspaper.

422
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:09,633
Yeah fuck that dude, bro.

423
00:18:09,768 --> 00:18:11,635
Yeah, and, like, if
you're gonna belittle

424
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,387
and make fun of PC people like that,

425
00:18:13,472 --> 00:18:16,233
then who's to say he won't do it to
other marginalized groups like us?

426
00:18:16,308 --> 00:18:18,308
I mean, this kid could
be the next Hitler.

427
00:18:18,394 --> 00:18:21,311
And if you guys could stop
Hitler, what would you do?

428
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:24,314
I'd rip that dude apart and then go home

429
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,700
and totally smash some puss, bro.

430
00:18:26,819 --> 00:18:27,534
- Yeah!
- Hell, yeah!

431
00:18:27,653 --> 00:18:29,553
- Hell, yeah, dude!
- No!

432
00:18:31,590 --> 00:18:34,591
You look familiar. Don't
you go to my school?

433
00:18:34,693 --> 00:18:35,859
Yes. Uh, I'm Jimmy,

434
00:18:35,961 --> 00:18:38,562
Editor in Chief of Super School News.

435
00:18:38,664 --> 00:18:39,696
I'm Leslie.

436
00:18:39,798 --> 00:18:41,198
Nice to finally talk to you.

437
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:43,567
Did they bring you in and
give you a bunch of tests, too?

438
00:18:43,669 --> 00:18:46,002
Yes, the did. Do you know who they are?

439
00:18:46,105 --> 00:18:47,771
I think they're ex-newsmen...

440
00:18:47,873 --> 00:18:51,475
You know, the men in suits who
used to be in charge of the news.

441
00:18:51,577 --> 00:18:53,043
I thought I recognized them.

442
00:18:53,145 --> 00:18:55,545
They told me I was special.

443
00:18:55,647 --> 00:18:57,013
Are you special, too?

444
00:18:57,116 --> 00:18:58,548
I prefer handicapped.

445
00:18:58,650 --> 00:19:01,551
I like that.

446
00:19:01,653 --> 00:19:04,388
Principal Victoria, if
everything you've said is true,

447
00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:06,356
then why doesn't anyone know about it?

448
00:19:06,458 --> 00:19:08,291
There are people who know,

449
00:19:08,394 --> 00:19:10,660
but they have to stay very hidden.

450
00:19:10,763 --> 00:19:13,563
I'm just having a hard
time swallowing all this.

451
00:19:13,665 --> 00:19:15,365
And between me and this one over here,

452
00:19:15,467 --> 00:19:17,033
we can swallow just about anything.

453
00:19:17,136 --> 00:19:19,569
God, you're such an asshole.

454
00:19:19,671 --> 00:19:22,072
Mr. Garrison, I wasn't fired.

455
00:19:22,174 --> 00:19:23,774
I was replaced.

456
00:19:23,876 --> 00:19:27,878
This goes much higher than anyone knows.

457
00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:30,147
I came to this town

458
00:19:30,249 --> 00:19:33,049
really thinking I
could make a difference.

459
00:19:33,152 --> 00:19:35,719
I've been called a bigot towards
persons with disabilities.

460
00:19:35,821 --> 00:19:38,455
I've been called a... pussy crusher

461
00:19:38,557 --> 00:19:42,325
because of the behavior of a very
few individuals in my PC frat.

462
00:19:42,428 --> 00:19:45,262
Jimmy Valmer is off
the school newspaper.

463
00:19:45,364 --> 00:19:46,797
I want you to take over.

464
00:19:46,899 --> 00:19:48,799
Oh, boy!

465
00:19:48,901 --> 00:19:50,834
And I will be reviewing
your paper to make sure

466
00:19:50,936 --> 00:19:53,303
nobody is ever attacked
the way I was again.

467
00:19:53,405 --> 00:19:57,240
I think this will be the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.

468
00:19:57,342 --> 00:19:59,376
Jimmy almost made me lose confidence,

469
00:19:59,478 --> 00:20:01,745
but I know who I am.

470
00:20:01,847 --> 00:20:03,380
I know what I am.

471
00:20:03,482 --> 00:20:04,714
Dude! Bro!

472
00:20:05,202 --> 00:20:06,335
Oh, bro.

473
00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:08,051
I went online to read a news story

474
00:20:08,153 --> 00:20:09,953
about immigrants being
discriminated against.

475
00:20:10,055 --> 00:20:11,888
- Yeah.
- Well, and so I clicked on the headline,

476
00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:13,710
but it turned out to
be an ad for Reddi-wip,

477
00:20:13,759 --> 00:20:15,919
so then I clicked on the "X"
button to make it go away,

478
00:20:15,994 --> 00:20:17,360
but then it was a link to another ad,

479
00:20:17,463 --> 00:20:18,595
and when I tried to cancel that,

480
00:20:18,697 --> 00:20:20,831
another window came up, and it was this.

481
00:20:20,933 --> 00:20:22,999
Dude, what the fuck bro?

482
00:20:23,101 --> 00:20:24,100
What does this mean, dude?!

483
00:20:24,203 --> 00:20:27,070
Bro, what the fuck, bro?!

484
00:20:28,164 --> 00:20:30,407
Do you like our school, Jimmy?

485
00:20:30,509 --> 00:20:32,609
Uh, yes, Leslie. I like
our school very much.

486
00:20:32,711 --> 00:20:34,978
I like our school, too.

487
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,447
I like the kids who go there.

488
00:20:37,549 --> 00:20:39,683
Uh-huh.

489
00:20:39,785 --> 00:20:42,486
I'm starting to wonder
something about you, Leslie.

490
00:20:42,588 --> 00:20:45,021
I'm starting to wonder about you.

491
00:20:45,123 --> 00:20:48,225
I mean, you seem like a nice kid,

492
00:20:48,327 --> 00:20:51,161
but don't you feel like
you could be happier?

493
00:20:51,897 --> 00:20:54,297
- Holy shit.
- What?

494
00:20:54,399 --> 00:20:55,899
Can you excuse me for a moment?

495
00:20:56,001 --> 00:20:58,235
Okay.

496
00:20:59,372 --> 00:21:01,972
Well, Jimmy? What do you think?

497
00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:04,320
Does she know she's an ad?

498
00:21:04,610 --> 00:21:06,009
He can spot them.

499
00:21:06,111 --> 00:21:10,363
Does she kn-know she's an ad?!

500
00:21:16,154 --> 00:21:19,072
What the hell is going on, bro?

501
00:21:20,659 --> 00:21:21,659
Bro?

502
00:21:21,710 --> 00:21:23,660
Bro, what the hell is going on, bro?!

503
00:21:23,795 --> 00:21:25,912
If we're going back, remember...

504
00:21:25,998 --> 00:21:28,248
We don't know who we can trust.

505
00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:30,000
If they want to mess with my town,

506
00:21:30,085 --> 00:21:31,835
I'll fuck every last one of them.

507
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,003
Let's do this!

508
00:21:33,088 --> 00:21:36,256
Buckle up, buckaroos!

509
00:21:41,554 --> 00:21:44,261
Sync and corrected by rickSG
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