1 00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:11,387 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪ 2 00:00:11,554 --> 00:00:13,180 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 3 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,141 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 4 00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:18,352 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 5 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,062 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 6 00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪ 7 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:24,442 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 8 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:28,362 ♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ 9 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:32,158 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪ 10 00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,289 All right, everyone. Listen up. 11 00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:40,166 Today we're going to have a performance 12 00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:41,876 by one of our students who has written a song. 13 00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:43,711 The song is about his feelings 14 00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:46,547 towards the current political climate with North Korea. 15 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,674 Put your hands together for Tweek. 16 00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:51,635 [Applause ] 17 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:56,390 [ Piano keys clanging ] 18 00:00:56,557 --> 00:01:01,187 [ Screaming ] 19 00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:03,105 We're all gonna die! 20 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:07,234 They have nuclear missiles! Aah! Aah! 21 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,112 Why are you just sitting there doing nothing?! 22 00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,530 we have to get out of here! 23 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,199 North Korea wants to kill us all 24 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,242 and our president keeps making it worse! 25 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,162 Why are you all just sitting there?! 26 00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:21,540 Why are you all acting like nothing's wrong?! 27 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:25,586 North Korea is going to bomb us! We are all dead! 28 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:30,049 We have to do something! Do something! Do something! 29 00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:32,968 [ Screams ] 30 00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,970 All right, next up we have Hannah Williams 31 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,889 with her rendition of "Wheels on the Bus." 32 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,895 [ Crying ] ♪ The wheels on the bus go round and round ♪ 33 00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:47,691 Dude, Craig, you've got to get Tweek to get ahold of himself. 34 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:49,443 He's freaking everybody out at school. 35 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,363 - What am I supposed to do? - He's your boyfriend, dude. 36 00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:54,198 He's not gonna listen to me. 37 00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,200 He never does when he's emotional. 38 00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,993 Craig, let me tell you about relationships, okay? 39 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,287 If you don't have some fuckin' balls, 40 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,080 you're not going to get anywhere. 41 00:02:01,247 --> 00:02:02,706 Doesn't matter if they're gay balls or straight balls, 42 00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,834 if you don't take control of your side of a relationship, 43 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,961 - you'll get walked all over -- - Hey, babe. How you doing? 44 00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:08,504 Oh, hey, baby. What's going on? 45 00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:13,801 - We still on for recess? - Yup, I'll be there. 46 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:14,969 'Kay, babe. Love you. 47 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:19,181 I thought you said you broke up with Heidi. 48 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,975 I decided to give her one more chance. 49 00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:22,768 But you said she was mentally abusive. 50 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,103 She is mentally abusive. 51 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,855 So then why did you take her back? 52 00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:27,523 Because she said she was gonna kill herself. 53 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,441 All right, guys? There. 54 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:30,651 I broke up with her, and she called me, being all like, 55 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,319 "I can't live without you. 56 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,946 I'm scared what I'm gonna do to myself. Oh, God." 57 00:02:34,113 --> 00:02:36,699 The bitch is crazy. What am I supposed to do? 58 00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:39,618 [ Nervously muttering ] 59 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:40,911 [ Locker door slams ] Aah! 60 00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:43,122 Tweek. Aah! 61 00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:44,915 Dude, come on. You got to settle down. 62 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,917 I can't settle down! We're all gonna die! 63 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,170 We're not all gonna die. You're overreacting. 64 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,463 Everything's fine, okay? [ Cellphone pings ] 65 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,382 Oh, God! The president just tweeted 66 00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:55,676 that North Korea doesn't have the guts to attack us! 67 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,553 Why would he say that?! He's making everything worse! 68 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,096 - Tweek... - But North Koreans are gonna think 69 00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:00,514 we all agree with the president! 70 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,767 Okay, so how about you write your congressman a letter. 71 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,270 That won't help anything! North Korea wants us dead! 72 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:08,147 Okay, so write a letter to the North Koreans. 73 00:03:08,314 --> 00:03:09,648 I can't write in Korean 74 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,525 and they all think we're war-hungry anyway! 75 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,903 Okay, well, then why don't you just send something nice 76 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,362 to the North Koreans. [ Groans ] 77 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,364 It'll make you feel better, babe. 78 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,742 - Send something like what?! - I dunno, like, 79 00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:21,285 make them some croissants or something. 80 00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:23,078 I don't know how to make croissants! 81 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,039 Well, what do you know how to make? 82 00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:28,334 Mm...cupcakes! 83 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,502 All right, go home and make some cupcakes, honey. 84 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,004 Okay! 85 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,883 - Hey, Stan? - Yeah? 86 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,635 Can I talk to you about Eric? 87 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,345 Cartman? Okay... 88 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:40,763 I just wanna make sure he's all right. 89 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:42,431 What do you mean? 90 00:03:42,598 --> 00:03:44,892 I don't even know if I should be saying this but... 91 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,728 - Eric said he was thinking about killing himself. - What? 92 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:51,148 We broke up, and he called saying he was about to do it. 93 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,317 I'm still really scared for him. 94 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:55,778 Wait, Cartman said he was gonna kill himself? 95 00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:57,947 I'll send you the voicemail if you promise to keep it private. 96 00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,365 Totally. 97 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:02,868 [ Laughter ] Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 98 00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:04,703 Cartman: You have to take me back! You have to! 99 00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,538 I'm gonna kill myself, Heidi! 100 00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:08,624 [ Laughter ] 101 00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,626 I'll kill myself, and then you'll be sorry! 102 00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:13,087 You'll wish you could have me back, but I'll be dead! 103 00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:15,839 [ Laughter ] 104 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,342 Please, Heidi! Please! 105 00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:20,219 Okay, okay. 106 00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:21,804 Really cool listening to people's private voicemails. 107 00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:23,347 You sound like a dying pig. 108 00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:25,349 [ Laughter ] 109 00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:28,185 That's great! I'm glad you guys think suicide is so funny! 110 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:31,272 [ Laughter ] 111 00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:42,616 ♪♪ 112 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:50,708 ♪♪ 113 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:57,131 ♪♪ 114 00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:58,674 [ Knocking ] 115 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,260 Entrée. 116 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,390 Yes, Eric. How can I help you? 117 00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:08,225 I don't think kids at this school 118 00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:10,644 take suicide seriously enough and we need to raise awareness. 119 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,396 Well, unfortunately this week 120 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,148 is Distracted Driving Awareness Week at school, 121 00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:15,774 so you might have a hard time. 122 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:18,277 Distracted driving? Who gives a shit about that? 123 00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:19,778 A lot of people. 124 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,405 There's more deaths now because of people 125 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:22,823 on their phones while driving than ever before. 126 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,034 PC Principal, someone's life is at stake. 127 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,619 If I have to compete with distracted driving, 128 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:28,996 then that's what I'll do. 129 00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:30,289 ♪♪ 130 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,500 [ Nervous jittering ] 131 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,841 Huh? Oh! 132 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,302 A young homosexual boy known only as Tweek 133 00:05:43,469 --> 00:05:45,512 has touched the hearts of many 134 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,432 by sending cupcakes to the North Korean government. 135 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:50,267 The little rascal apparently made a dent 136 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:51,935 with the North Korean dictator, 137 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,355 who is said to have loved the cupcakes so much 138 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,690 that he is started to make his own -- 139 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,609 Oh! Ahh. [ Cellphone pings ] 140 00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,027 Huh?! 141 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,863 "U.S. President responds to cupcakes..." 142 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,656 The human interest cupcake story 143 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,950 has apparently been heard by the president. 144 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,078 Just moments ago, the president tweeted, 145 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,412 "I know that kid Tweek. 146 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:13,123 He's fucking with you, North Korea. Get a clue. 147 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,584 I'll bet he took a dump in the batter." 148 00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:19,046 [ Screams ] What?! Why would he say that?! 149 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,422 Tweek, calm down. 150 00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,925 The president! He tweeted about me! 151 00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:24,635 Why would he do that?! Did you see that?! 152 00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,804 Yes, I did see that. 153 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,931 So I went and got you something to make things better. 154 00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:31,183 - What?! - It's a fidget spinner. 155 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:34,561 It's supposed to help with anxiety. See? 156 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,731 A fidget spinner?! Did you read what the president tweeted?! 157 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,567 [ Cellphone pings ] Woman: The president of the United States 158 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,403 just tweeted again, this time saying -- 159 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:46,156 "I hope all children of America will stand with Tweek in saying, 160 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,492 'Go ahead and bomb us, Kim Jong Dong, 161 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:49,785 we fucking dare you!"' 162 00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:51,620 [ Screams ] 163 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,376 Hey, guys. Take a minute to read about distracted driving? 164 00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:58,752 Talk to all the grownups you know 165 00:06:58,919 --> 00:06:59,920 about staying off their mobile devices 166 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,004 when they get behind the wheel. 167 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,297 Hey, guys -- got a second to help 168 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,340 stop distracted driving? 169 00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:04,883 - Thanks. - Hey, guys -- 170 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,969 [ Music playing over intercom ] 171 00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:08,929 Cartman: Hey, guys, let's a take a minute 172 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,806 and talk about suicide prevention. 173 00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:13,016 There's probably someone right now at this school 174 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,561 thinking about killing himself, and it's not funny. 175 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:18,605 You better take it serious or he might actually do it. 176 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,191 ♪ I've been feelin' sad, I've been bein' sad ♪ 177 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,527 ♪ Can't talk to my mom, don't even have a dad ♪ 178 00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,988 ♪ I can't go on, what is living for? ♪ 179 00:07:26,155 --> 00:07:27,948 ♪ My heart screams "I don't wanna live no more" ♪ 180 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,200 ♪ Eric, we don't want you to die ♪ 181 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,369 ♪ Eric, give life a try ♪ 182 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,621 ♪ Eric, we don't want you to die ♪ 183 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,707 ♪ Eric, oh, God, no, Eric ♪ 184 00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:40,669 [ Echoing ] I don't wanna live no more! 185 00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:43,630 ♪ But Eric, we don't want you die ♪ 186 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,757 ♪ You're so cool, we'd be sad at school ♪ 187 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:48,135 ♪ Yeah, but you guys, you don't understand ♪ 188 00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,679 ♪ With my girlfriend, it's like I'm living in quicksand ♪ 189 00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:52,973 ♪ Conflicting thoughts, I need a battered wives' shelter ♪ 190 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,350 ♪ my girlfriend is messed up, but all I wanna do is help her ♪ 191 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,352 ♪ I'm suffocating, I'm drowning in sorrow ♪ 192 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,771 ♪ Gonna kill myself prob'ly around 2:30 tomorrow ♪ 193 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,441 ♪ But, Eric, we don't want you to die ♪ 194 00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:05,694 ♪ Eric, give life a try ♪ Everybody! 195 00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:07,279 ♪ Eric, we don't want you to die ♪ 196 00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:09,740 ♪ Eric, oh, God, no, Eric ♪ But it's so hard! 197 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,201 ♪ Eric, we don't want you to die ♪ 198 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,453 Only you guys can make a difference. 199 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:17,164 I don't care if you're black, white, gay, straight or trans, 200 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:18,665 I am going to kill myself 201 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,834 unless you all start taking it seriously. 202 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:24,213 ♪ Eric, please don't die... ♪ 203 00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:29,301 Distracted driving my asshole. 204 00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:34,181 ♪♪ 205 00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:37,851 [ Nervous jittering ] 206 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,478 - Hey, Tweek. - Aah! 207 00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:41,063 How's it going with the fidget spinner? 208 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:44,358 - Great! - You seem a lot less anxious. 209 00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:46,235 Things are finally turning around 210 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:47,653 for my little homosexual son. 211 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,404 [ Loud blast in distance ] 212 00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:51,949 - What is that?! - I'm not sure. 213 00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:58,455 Aah! Aah! 214 00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,377 [ Screams ] 215 00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:06,505 Man: Yet no agreement has been reached 216 00:09:06,672 --> 00:09:08,257 between the parties involved. 217 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,884 Breaking news now out of Colorado, 218 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,470 where the North Koreans appear to have fired a missile 219 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,055 over Tweek's house. - [ Screams ] 220 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,848 Tweek, of course, the young boy 221 00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:18,892 who got the attention of Kim Jong Un last week. 222 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,686 The news media in North Korea 223 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,188 is calling the missile test a victory for its people. 224 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:24,940 [ Speaking in Korean ] 225 00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:27,818 Translator: Today the great country of North Korea... 226 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:30,821 has proven its determination and fortitude... 227 00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:34,449 by successfully firing a missile over Tweek's house. 228 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,201 - Perhaps now Tweek... - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 229 00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,536 Why's this happening to me?! 230 00:09:37,703 --> 00:09:39,454 They have to know this isn't my fault! 231 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,665 In response to the North Korean test, 232 00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,500 the president of the United States 233 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,294 has just tweeted this statement -- 234 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,504 "You really think Tweek is scared? 235 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:50,048 Tweek will single handedly go to North Korea 236 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,884 and fuck all you slanty eyed bitches doggy style. 237 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,846 What?! Why would he say that?! 238 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,639 Man: The president also tweeted -- 239 00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:00,017 "If you even think Tweek is worried about 240 00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,352 a bunch of dipshit poor ass third world rice pickers, 241 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:03,729 think again." 242 00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:06,106 Oh, my God! What is he doing?! 243 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,900 - Tweek, Tweek. Calm down! - Why won't he just stop?! Why? 244 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,944 Tweek! Tweek, h-here's your fidget spinner! 245 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,362 Why does he keep making it worse?! 246 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:13,780 Your fidget spinner, Tweek! Come on, son! 247 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,449 Aah! 248 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,284 Focus on the fidget spinner. 249 00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:24,333 ♪♪ 250 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:27,169 Oh, geez, looks like North Korea launched another missile. 251 00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,880 Oh, really, like another test? Where are you looking? 252 00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,506 I'm on Drudge. 253 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,091 You see what the president tweeted about it? 254 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:35,177 - No, what'd he say? - The president tweeted 255 00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:36,553 "North Korea is the butthole of Asia and -- 256 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,263 Innocent child! 257 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:39,181 Aah! [ Tires screech ] 258 00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:41,016 Aah! 259 00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:44,394 [ Glass shatters, body thuds in slow motion ] 260 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,647 [ Splattering ] 261 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:07,834 [ Crying ] I know. I know, it's so sad. 262 00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:13,548 Well, how nice. That's a little more like it. 263 00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,051 Well, guys, what happened? Change of heart? 264 00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:17,052 Yeah, you didn't hear? 265 00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:20,097 Gary Borkovec got ran over by a distracted driver. 266 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,516 What?! Gary Borkovec? Is he dead? 267 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,101 Yeah, dude, he's dead. 268 00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:25,435 Oh, that son of a bitch. 269 00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,020 I'm gonna talk to the principal! 270 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,647 Put down the candle, Kenny! 271 00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:30,691 Like you ever gave a shit about Gary Borkovec! 272 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,901 [ Knocking ] 273 00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:35,696 Entrée vous. 274 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,906 PC Principal, I'm trying to raise suicide awareness, 275 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,574 but everyone's preoccupied 276 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,660 with this "don't be on your phone when driving" crap. 277 00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,662 Gary Borkovec was a good student. 278 00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:45,163 He didn't deserve to be taken away 279 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,665 by someone not paying attention to the road. 280 00:11:46,832 --> 00:11:49,084 Yes, but Gary Borkovec is already dead. 281 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,919 There's nothing we can do for him. 282 00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:53,088 Students need to focus on people thinking about dying. 283 00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,340 I don't know what more you want from me, bro. 284 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,968 I can't just get people to care with a stupid rap song. 285 00:11:58,135 --> 00:12:00,053 I need a full orchestra -- woodwinds, strings -- 286 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,680 I need black people in white robes, 287 00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,098 white people in black robes, 288 00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:05,475 and a thousand doves to release into the air. 289 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:10,272 I can give you two student volunteers and one pigeon. 290 00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:12,899 Do you have any idea how serious this is? 291 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,818 As someone who deals with suicidal thoughts, 292 00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:17,154 I cannot believe the lack of concern at this school! 293 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,197 Maybe I should just take the awareness of my suicide 294 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,657 out to the public on the streets! 295 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:21,992 Maybe you should. 296 00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:23,827 Maybe I will! 297 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:26,705 - Maybe you should. - Maybe I will! 298 00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:32,461 [ Screams ] 299 00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,796 Ugh. [ Sighs ] 300 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:36,089 Hey, Tweek. 301 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,008 Look at what the president tweeted now! 302 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:39,384 What time is it, dude? 303 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:41,511 Just read it! 304 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,723 "North Korea doesn't have the balls to attack Tweek. 305 00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:46,933 They have little tiny rice balls." 306 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,061 They're gonna get me, Craig! Look at what's on CNN! 307 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:51,813 And the President's tweets have certainly caught 308 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,815 the attention of North Korea, 309 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,609 who have been spending the past several days 310 00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:58,403 viewing possible targets for a nuclear strike 311 00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:00,238 if war were to break out... 312 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,532 [ Screams ] What am I gonna do?! 313 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,326 You gotta calm down. 314 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:05,786 How am I supposed to calm down?! 315 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,370 North Korea is gonna get me! 316 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,997 - They're gonna get me! - Tweek. Tweek. Tweek. 317 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,582 Let's think this through logically. 318 00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:13,293 North Korea isn't going to attack anyone, okay? 319 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,711 They're not going to start a war they can't win. 320 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:15,754 Okay? 321 00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:17,255 - But, Craig, I -- - Tweek. 322 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,257 You have to stop thinking about it. 323 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,593 Tell you what, we're gonna go somewhere fun 324 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:22,844 and make you feel better. 325 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,387 [ Bell dings ] 326 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,598 Give a minute of your time for suicide awareness? 327 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:28,058 Suicide is serious. 328 00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:30,143 Help tell people like Kyle it's not a joke. 329 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,145 Hey, good for you guys, trying to help. 330 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,814 Yeah, make sure everyone you know gets involved 331 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,357 or else I'm gonna do it. 332 00:13:35,524 --> 00:13:37,067 We're getting a lot of attention, Eric. 333 00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:38,819 Our website's already full of kids 334 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:39,945 saying they feel the same way as you 335 00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,363 and want to get help. 336 00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,073 They want to get help? For what? 337 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,076 For wanting to take their own lives. 338 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,453 No, this is about me killing myself. 339 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:51,248 But, babe, there's a lot of kids who feel the same way you do. 340 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,208 They're full of shit, Heidi. 341 00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:54,918 They're just trying to get attention. 342 00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,546 What, are you actually talking online to these asswipes?! 343 00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:00,006 I thought this was about raising awareness and helping people. 344 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,633 So you're just gonna e-mail 345 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:02,884 with every every guy who has a dick and a deathwish? 346 00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,302 Are we just your type? 347 00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,596 - Eric, come on. - No, look, Heidi. 348 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,515 I'm sorry, but you're the one who started all this 349 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,058 by telling everybody that I was suicidal. 350 00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:11,434 Okay? 351 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,186 Now I'm under a lot of pressure to do it. 352 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,146 So the only option I have is to make sure 353 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:17,315 that suicide prevention becomes this entire town's 354 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:18,859 number-one priority! 355 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,235 Oh, God, did you see 356 00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:21,403 what the President said about Asians now? 357 00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:22,696 Look out! 358 00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:25,115 [ Screams ] 359 00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:28,827 Oh, are you freakin' serious? 360 00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,873 [ Riders scream in distance ] 361 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:36,543 Okay, babe, what do you wanna ride first? 362 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,920 Ugh! What are we doing here, Craig? 363 00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,506 We're gonna get your mind off politics and have some fun. 364 00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,758 Now, what's your favorite ride? 365 00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,802 The Ferris wheel! 366 00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:51,641 [ Laughs ] 367 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,769 Isn't this lovely, Tweek? Just look at that view. 368 00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:55,937 [ Cellphone chimes ] 369 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,105 [ Gasps ] Oh, God! 370 00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:58,398 Another tweet from the president! 371 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,317 Oh, come on. 372 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:03,486 "Why would the U.S. be scared of North Korea? 373 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:05,780 Tweek is so not scared he's at an amusement park 374 00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:06,865 in Denver right now." 375 00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:08,283 [ Gasps ] Jesus Christ! 376 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,784 We gotta get outta here! 377 00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:11,953 Tweek! Tweek, use your brain. 378 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,539 North Korea isn't going to attack an amusement park. 379 00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,166 You're safer here than anywhere. 380 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,211 Oh, geez. 381 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,881 The president just called Kim Jong-un a fat midget. 382 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,507 Oh, and now North Korea is saying that they're gonna -- 383 00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:25,508 Dad, look out! 384 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:26,509 Oh, shit! 385 00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:27,552 [ Woman screams ] 386 00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:28,303 [ Screams ] 387 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:30,722 Ride attendant: All right, everyone, 388 00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:32,265 please wait for your bumper cars 389 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,808 to come to a complete stop. 390 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,185 We hope you enjoyed Crazy Cars -- 391 00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:38,063 Mommy, look out! [ Screams ] 392 00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,070 Oh, my God, what is that?! 393 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:46,571 What is that?! 394 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,990 It's probably nothing. Everything's fine. 395 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,742 Will you please stop saying that?! 396 00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:51,993 I can't take it! 397 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,495 I'm trying to make you feel better. 398 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:56,289 Well, maybe I don't wanna feel better right now! 399 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,999 Okay, but think about that. 400 00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,542 That actually doesn't make any sense. 401 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,419 Why do you have to be so logical?! 402 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,338 I don't need you to problem-solve all the time, 403 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:06,132 I need you to -- Agh! I don't know! 404 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,635 Tweek, honey, all week, you've been freaking out, 405 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,428 and I've been the one forced to deal with it. 406 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:11,972 You haven't been dealing with it, 407 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,640 you've been trying to make it go away 408 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,183 because my emotions are freaking you out! 409 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:17,519 [ People scream ] 410 00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:19,938 Tweek, North Korea isn't bombing anyone. 411 00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:21,439 They would lose the support of China, 412 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:22,607 - and that would be -- - There you go again! 413 00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:23,942 Stop preaching facts to me! 414 00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,193 It's not what I need! 415 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,320 Well, I'm sorry that I'm actually in control 416 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,280 of my goddamn emotions, ya baby! 417 00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:32,742 Oh, see, now you made me lose control of my emotions. 418 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,077 God damn it. 419 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,455 [ Grumbling ] 420 00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:38,957 [ Screams ] 421 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,003 [bell rings] 422 00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,340 Hey Craig, how come Tweek's not at school? 423 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,550 How should I know? 424 00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:50,677 Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise? 425 00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:53,304 Look guys, Tweek doesn't want help, okay? 426 00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:55,598 He just wants to overreact. 427 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,517 Henry: Hey, guys, could we have your attention? 428 00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,477 Tomorrow night, we'll be having a memorial service 429 00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,646 for all the students we've lost to distracted driving. 430 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:03,314 We hope you can all bring your families. 431 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:04,733 Cool, yeah. Hey, guys, and there's also 432 00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:06,401 gonna be a suicide awareness pot luck 433 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,319 at 7:30 tomorrow night in the school gymnasium. 434 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:09,863 We're gonna have lots of games and face painting, 435 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,073 and what are you guys gonna have? 436 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,950 We're gonna have some guest speakers 437 00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:14,951 and also provide grievance counselors 438 00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:16,786 for those who need it. 439 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:18,538 Yeah, grievance counseling -- that sounds super fun. 440 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:19,706 Listen, guys, there's a very real chance 441 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,541 I might actually do it right in front 442 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,792 of everyone tomorrow, so you don't want to miss it. 443 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,003 Suicide prevention pot luck, everybody. 444 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:26,212 Eric, you need to stop. 445 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,131 What they're doing is important. 446 00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:29,924 They're doing a memorial service with speeches and crying. 447 00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,342 What's that gonna solve? 448 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:32,886 it's not about problem solving, Eric. 449 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,345 It's about people getting together 450 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:36,639 and feeling what they need to feel! 451 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:39,017 People need help sorting out their emotions sometimes. 452 00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:41,144 And the best thing isn't always quick answers, 453 00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:43,104 But just being there, supporting each other 454 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:45,106 And talking through those feelings. 455 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,649 You are so up and down. 456 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,401 I don't know what you want from me, Heidi! 457 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:49,569 Come on. There has to be a way 458 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,404 We can all work together, here. 459 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:52,906 So, now you're on their side! 460 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,325 Oh, my God, I'm seriously gonna do it right now! 461 00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:56,868 Eric! 462 00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,580 [ Door opens ] 463 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,874 Tweek! What's going on? 464 00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:05,210 What? What do you mean what's going on?! 465 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:07,212 The same shit that's been going on! 466 00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:08,797 Nothing's gotten any better?! 467 00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,924 Oh, my God, how does that make you feel? 468 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,384 I feel scared! I feel alone! 469 00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:14,928 That must be horrible to feel that way! 470 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,846 It must be hard for you to even think! 471 00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,973 It is! It's terrible! 472 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:22,852 I bet it's terrible! What else are you feeling? 473 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,729 Like I have no control over my life. 474 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,815 Like I'm just a pawn in a big game. 475 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,358 Oh, that's a terrifying thought. 476 00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:29,818 You must feel trapped. 477 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:31,194 Yeah, like, trapped, 478 00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:32,862 But, like, completely unable to even move. 479 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,572 Jesus! 480 00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:35,990 It's like there's no solution to any of this! 481 00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:37,742 What are you gonna do? What can you do? 482 00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:40,870 I don't know. It's -- It's like maybe -- 483 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,413 Maybe I have to find a way 484 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,582 to feel a little in charge of me again. 485 00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,292 That sounds so insurmountable, though. 486 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,169 How would you even start? 487 00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:51,422 I don't know, but I-I gotta do something about this. 488 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,550 There's gotta be a way I can... 489 00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,518 Thank you, Craig. 490 00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:06,855 I've got it. 491 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:08,898 People aren't focused on the right thing. 492 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,609 I know what I should do. 493 00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:15,071 All right, everyone, listen up. 494 00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:17,240 Tonight, one of our students has put together a song 495 00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:18,908 about a very important issue. 496 00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,869 It's a song about how there are certain times 497 00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:22,453 to not be on your phone. 498 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,956 I hope you all listen carefully. 499 00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:35,216 [ Somber piano music plays ] 500 00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:37,802 ♪ People are dying ♪ 501 00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:40,597 ♪ The fault is our own ♪ 502 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:43,266 ♪ You can do lots of damage ♪ 503 00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,727 ♪ When you're on your phone ♪ 504 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:48,479 ♪ We all have to agree ♪ 505 00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:51,316 ♪ To change it somehow ♪ 506 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:57,447 ♪ Let's all make a pledge to end it right now ♪ 507 00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:58,865 ♪ Put it down ♪ 508 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,533 ♪ Don't be on your phone ♪ 509 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,702 ♪ While being president ♪ 510 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,162 ♪ Put it down ♪ 511 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,872 ♪ You might do something dumb ♪ 512 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,041 ♪ And cause an accident ♪ 513 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,960 ♪ Let's all agree here today ♪ 514 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,379 ♪ That if we're leader of the USA ♪ 515 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,256 ♪ We'll put it down ♪ 516 00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:17,550 If at any point today, you're being a president, 517 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:18,760 put down your mobile device. 518 00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:20,345 ♪ Put it down ♪ 519 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:22,347 If I'm on the phone, I will not get behind 520 00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:24,140 the desk of an oval office. 521 00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:25,308 ♪ Put it down ♪ 522 00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:26,726 I'll take the pledge! 523 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:27,977 I'll take the pledge! 524 00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:29,229 And I'll take the pledge. 525 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,814 ♪ No one cares ♪ 526 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,233 What's that? I was just elected president? 527 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,151 Well, then, goodbye! 528 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:38,947 ♪ Put it down if you're president today ♪ 529 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:41,574 ♪ If you find yourself being president today ♪ 530 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:44,702 Hey Brian, look! I was just elected president. 531 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:46,704 That's great, Nancy. Now, put down your phone. 532 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,289 Right! 533 00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:51,459 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah-ah-ah, put it down ♪ 534 00:20:51,626 --> 00:20:53,836 [ Rapping ] ♪ Give a standing ovation for suicide in our nation ♪ 535 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,506 ♪ Or I will rip my own guts out without one hesitation ♪ 536 00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:57,632 ♪ Dedication, that's what it's taken ♪ 537 00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:58,758 ♪ To waken people to care ♪ 538 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,093 ♪ And still my future's so hazy ♪ 539 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,552 ♪ My girlfriend's making me crazy ♪ 540 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,012 ♪ But still I'm working so hard ♪ 541 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,931 ♪ You know, just trying to hold on ♪ 542 00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:06,975 ♪ Cuz I know that you don't miss me so much if I was gone ♪ 543 00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:08,434 ♪ And all the voices start solo ♪ 544 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:09,769 ♪ But every day, I hear them grow ♪ 545 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:10,979 ♪ Saying, Eric, don't do it ♪ 546 00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:12,939 ♪ Don't do it, nooooo ♪ 547 00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:15,066 ♪ Put it down ♪ 548 00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:18,486 ♪ Don't be on your phone while being president ♪ 549 00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,446 ♪ Put it down ♪ 550 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:24,033 ♪ You might do something dumb and cause an accident ♪ 551 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,828 ♪ We all agree here today ♪ 552 00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:29,372 ♪ That if we're leader of the USA ♪ 553 00:21:29,539 --> 00:21:32,041 ♪ We'll put it down ♪ 554 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:37,672 ♪ Put it down ♪ 555 00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:43,594 I'm not gonna do it, you guys! 556 00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:45,179 It worked! I'm not gonna do it!